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A collection of quotes that show wisdom in children. This is important to the narrative because the Grandson character has wisdom beyond his years which will impact the theme of the narrative.

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You never know what words will come out of a kid's mouth -- sometimes they're crazy, sometimes they're incoherent, and most of the time they're pretty silly. But every once in a while, your kid says something that makes you stop and really think about what they're really saying. Kids are experiencing a lot of the world for the first time, and sometimes they have some profound insights.

We asked the HuffPost Parents community to name the wisest thing their kids have said to them, and we were so impressed -- check out their responses below.

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15 Nuggets Of Wisdom From Kids That Prove They Are Wise Beyond Their Years

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You never know what words will come out of a kid's mouth -- sometimes they're crazy, sometimes they're incoherent, and most of the time they're pretty silly. But every once in a while, your kid says something that makes you stop and really think about what they're really saying.

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Grandpa has OCD and takes his hobby very seriously. This plays into his role in the narrative.

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The Benefits of Elderly Spending time with Young

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The Benefits of Elderly Spending time with Young

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Interaction between older adults and children benefit both - Article - Healthy Aging Partnership

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But intergenerational activities can be easy and fun, not to mention good for you, says the Healthy Aging Partnership, a coalition of 40 Puget Sound area not-for-profit organizations dedicated to the health and well-being of older adults.

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Some Grandparents are closer than others

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Some Grandparents are closer than others

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In my narrative, the Grandfather character will be semi- detached from his young grandson's life. This is how grandparents and grandchildren could stay close.

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Have you ever wondered how some grandparents manage to have close relationships with their grandchildren and others do not? It's not a mystery. Research has uncovered the secrets, but they are still unknown to many grandparents.

Merril Silverstein and Vern L. Bengtson, among others, have studied the concept that they call "intergenerational solidarity" and have identified six factors that influence this "solidarity." While some of these factors are beyond our control, others are not.

This information is unlikely to help grandparents who have lost contact with their grandchildren, or those who have deep-seated family conflicts that may require therapy to resolve. But for the rest of us, this information could be vital.

1. Physical Proximity

Not surprisingly, geographic closeness is one of the strongest predictors of a close relationship between grandparents and grandchildren. This factor may be out of the control of some grandparents, although some have demonstrated a willingness to move to be close to their grandchildren. Other factors, such as the health and financial status of the grandparents can be factors if they limit travel. Geographical distance isn't terribly important for grandparents who are fit, healthy and financially able to afford the cost of frequent trips to see grandchildren.

Although grandparents agree that there is no substitute for face-to-face interaction, technology has made it easier to build a relationship with grandchildren across the miles.

Many grandparents visit with their grandchildren daily via FaceTime, Skype or other video chat platform. Older grandchildren will appreciate loving text messages, as long as they are not too frequent. Facebook and other social networking sites are also good for staying in touch with tween, teen and young adult grandchildren.

The bottom line is that loving grandparents will find a way to bridge distance.

2. Frequency of Contact

Grandparents who stay in frequent contact with their grandchildren have closer relationships, but physical distance isn't the only obstacle to contact. Parental divorce commonly has a drastic effect on contact between grandchildren and grandparents. Often contact increases between the custodial parent and his or her parents, and contact with grandchildren increases, too. But the parents of the non-custodial parent frequently find their contact with grandchildren greatly reduced. Since women still receive custody more frequently than men, most of the time maternal grandparents have an enhanced relationship with their grandchildren after divorce, while paternal grandparents have a reduced role. Of course, more fathers are winning custody, and joint custody is on the rise. Perhaps in the future divorce will not affect the grandparent-grandchild relationship as radically as it often does today.

3. Grandparents' Function Within the Family

When grandparents provide child care for grandchildren or become actual or surrogate parents to their grandchildren, they have a greater than average opportunity to bond.

Many grandparents who fulfill these roles, however, wish that they could be "regular" grandparents rather than having to fill parental shoes. Also, research shows that it is the regular presence of grandparents that results in closeness rather than the functions that they perform. Whether you are a grandparent who has taken charge of grandchildren, or a "cool" grandparent who mainly plays with them, you can be close to your grandchildren.

4. The Concept of Normalcy

Families that expect strong relationships between the generations are more likely to have them. That's because family members are taught from an early age that family members share obligations. Those obligations may include care-giving for children and for the elderly, financial assistance and general sharing of tasks. And the assistance flows in both directions - from young to old, from old to young.

Families that have this type of culture are more likely to demonstrate strong grandparent-grandchild bonds than families in which individuality and independence top the list of values. Such families also adopt practices that keep extended families close.

5. Emotional Bonding

Although grandparents and grandchildren often report mutual closeness, grandparents may report a greater degree of closeness than the younger generation. That's just natural. When families work as they should, children are closest to their parents and siblings. Grandparents usually occupy their second circle or second tier of emotional proximity. As children grow, their circles enlarge, and their peers become vitally important to them. Grandparents may be further displaced.

Grandparents, on the other hand, often live in a world of shrinking circles, as their peers and older relatives die, move away or suffer from serious health issues. Their children and grandchildren may come to occupy a larger space in their lives rather than smaller. What is important, however, is that grandparents who develop establish early emotional bonds with grandchildren will find that those bonds last. Such bonds usually survive the passage of years and the many changes that both generations go through.

Research also shows that the middle generation is of vital importance in determining closeness. When grandparents and their adult children are close, closeness with grandchildren comes naturally and easily.

6. Reaching a Consensus on Values

Grandchildren often get their early values from parents and grandparents. As they mature, however, they are more likely to grow their own set of values. Families are closest when they share values, but few families will ever be in total agreement. Researchers say a generation gap sometimes develops when younger generations find older generations lacking in social tolerance and even prone to hypocrisy. Grandparents should not abandon their values and standards, but a willingness to listen to the younger generation can go a long way.

And grandparents should be sure that they practice what they preach.

Summing Up

Although these six factors have an influence on grandparent-grandchild closeness, the attitude of grandparents is the most important factor. Research shows that love for grandparents isn't built into the grandparent-grandchild relationship. In other words, grandchildren don't automatically value their grandparents. Instead they learn to value their individual grandparents and the way they occupy that role. Detached or uninvolved grandparents are unlikely to find a place of honor in the family circle. On the other hand, grandparents who thrive on creating family drama and stirring up conflict are unlikely to be valued family members either. All in all, it is the grandparent who is determined to build a strong and lasting relationship with grandchildren who is most likely to succeed.

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Have you ever wondered how some grandparents manage to have close relationships with their grandchildren and others do not? It's not a mystery. Research has uncovered the secrets, but they are still unknown to many grandparents. Merril Silverstein and Vern L.

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Grandparents talk about their grandchildren

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Grandparents talk about their grandchildren

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These grandmothers both assert how proud they are of their young grandchildren.

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Relationship with grandchildren

All the grandparents we talked with had close relationships with their grandchildren. Many were very hands on, living close to their grandchildren and seeing them regularly. One grandson lived with his grandmother. Others lived further away and saw their grandchildren less frequently. These grandparents also described close and loving relationships with their grandchildren though they were less involved in everyday aspects of their upbringing.

"They are a delight, an absolute delight"
The grandchildren ranged in age from 6 up to 21, and all the grandparents we talked with, described their grandchildren in glowing terms.

A few grandchildren lived with their parents and grandparents when they were babies and this created a strong bond between them. One grandson lived with his grandmother, and saw his mother regularly. Several grandparents cared for their grandchildren on a regular basis. One grandmother had seen her first grandson being born and missed the second child's birth by 30 seconds.

I think because he's not really very ill, he's easy to get along with. I think it's a fairly normal grandma-child relationship. I'm quite bossy, he's quite bossy. We share the same sense of humour.

We can lose our temper with each other, and we can both yell, and then it doesn't seem to matter two minutes later, literally so that's good. He's quick to say he's sorry if he's really being naughty, as opposed to autistic.

Several people talked about how loving their grandchildren were. This was something they hadn't necessarily expected because of stereotypical views of autism.

Grandparents had different levels of involvement in their grandchildren's lives. Some grandchildren spent time at their grandparents' house and slept over on a regular basis. One grandparent was not able to have her grandchildren to stay because her house wasn't a suitable environment for them, but she looked after them in their own home. Several grandparents talked about taking their grandchildren out - this is discussed further in Going out.

"He makes it quite clear what he wants and what he doesn't want"
Some grandparents reflected on how their grandchildren didn't always acknowledge them when they saw them, or how they could be quite "rejecting" at times. This was something they learnt to accept. As one grandmother said, she has learnt to respect what her grandson wants and accepts that she can't spend equal amounts of time with her grandchildren because they have such differing interests. Another grandfather was undecided about whether his grandson is content with his own company or, in fact, "dreadfully isolated".

When we, when we arrive if they're busy doing something else, because they've got three rooms downstairs and they don't always see us straight away. So either Mum or Dad will say, "Nana and Grandpa are here." And they both come running usually. Usually and yes, they're pleased to see us. And that's a good response. We didn't get that for a long time. But we've spent such a lot of time with them since we've been retired that we're sort of familiar faces around the place now, and they do look forward to us going I think. They're genuinely pleased when we go. And the little boy used to cry when we left, but he doesn't cry now. "And they're going back to Nana's house now, you know, Nana and Grandpa have got to go back to their house. You're staying at your house." And you talk around this.

So I like spending time with him because he's interesting. But he can sometimes be very rejecting. He makes it quite clear what he wants and what he doesn't and if, he loves music, so if we put music on and he doesn't want you in the room, he makes it quite plain that you're to get out. And I mean I don't take that personally, I just find it quite funny really that he can just use his hand and push you out of the way. Go! It's quite clear.

I suppose that in terms of doing things with them at home, they're interesting in as much as they're quite self contained little chaps. They can go and bounce on the trampoline for an hour, an hour and half, two hours. They can run about in the garden, pulling the twigs off the hedge. And you, in a sense, you don't have to do a lot. And it was something I used to struggle with to start with to start with, because I used to think I ought to be doing more. I ought to be sitting down and teaching them A, B, C or reading books. They're not very keen on reading books. So it's actually quite hard to get them to sit on your laps and do things. They, their concentration is very limited, so, you can, you can do activities with them. I tend to more activities when I'm there with my daughter and I may be helping.

I do a lot of textiles and craft work and I know that my daughter's going to have a go at, there's some kind of felt making that you can do. So she'll get me along to help doing that kind of thing, because I know a bit more about it than she does. And... but on the whole you don't have to do that much with them, other than the fact that you have to keep them safe, and keeping them safe is quite a big issue, because you need to know exactly where they are really all of the time. And you need to be clear that they're not in the kitchen, the bathroom or the sitting room. Or likely to, you know, you need to be sure that the gates are shut in the garden and they're not going to escape. You need to be sure that one of them is not climbing on the wrong side of the banisters, and hanging off the sort of top of the stair rails.

So there are things like that, which I think, that, in a way those are the harder things to manage. They're also both doubly incontinent still. So you spend quite a lot of time dealing with that when you look after them. Their diets are quite limited. But they, they do talk to you in their own way, and they use what in this county we call total communication, but it's similar to Makaton. So they use some of that. Not a huge amount, but they do use some, and they use the photographs. They use PECS, the little photographs and symbols, and they're very good with them. So they spend a lot of time giving you pictures of breadsticks or crisps or whatever it is they fancy at that moment.

And whenever you have them, whenever you're minding them what kind of things do you do together?

We do [grandson]'s very keen on jigsaws and any kind of games he likes. He likes draughts and any other game that you can dish up. [Granddaughter], I suppose has always played these games. It is, it does grieve us a bit that she doesn't want to join in with these kind of games. She did as a little, as a little one. I suppose we used to make her and now, we do feel we have to respect her choices in these things. I mean, she may not, act like a fourteen year old, but she is now fourteen and you, you can't have the same expectations as you did for the five or six or even seven or eight year old that she would come and join in family games round the table. She quite enjoys them when on the rare occasions when she does do it, but she doesn't choose to do it.

She'll sometimes come and read to us. She, she loves, she loves reading to us in all sorts of different voices, and dramatising, dramatising the voices. I suppose we've always read to her, I mean they've both been read to since they were very, very small, and of course one exaggerates the voices and dramatises the story and she loves doing that. And I think it's very good that she does read, she reads to other children. Not only at her special school, but she reads to other children at she goes one night a fortnight to respite to a... and there are obviously other disabled children there and she apparently reads to them.

Brian' Because of the way he is, and his set routine. I mean you know, that's the main thing, is his set routine. And anything that changes that routine, this goes wrong and he just can't cope with it.

Brian' When we go to see him, we're lucky if we see him for about three or four minutes, because once we've said our hellos, he's gone. He goes up to upstairs. And there he'll stay until we leave.

Lucy' Don't forget your bag.

Brian' We've even, he'll even come down, half way down the stairs to see if we're leaving yet because we're not part of his immediate....

Lucy' Well we are... excuse me, but we are part of his Saturday, we always go on a Saturday afternoon. We are part of Saturday's routine. So we arrived about three and we always have to arrive with a bag with some a ....

Lucy' A couple of books or something wrapped up, and he sees us coming through the window and gets all excited, laughing and smiling, and sitting down and waiting and the minute the door's opened, if we chat, like you do don't you when you're in the hallway. You can hear from, from the sitting room, you can hear, "Mm. Mm. Mm." Where, you know, 'what about me?' Sort of thing. So we have to take the bag in. He tolerates us there while he's opening the presents, then he goes upstairs to his bedroom. And then as Brian's just said, after a few minutes. We stay for a cup of tea, he knows we have a cup of tea, and then he will keep coming up and down the stairs.

I know now what to do, to retreat and sometimes they just want to be on their own. And let them, let them get on with it really. But it's not very nice, and then it's quite distressing and certainly one of them has big crying fits and it's very hard to understand what's the matter with him, and it's difficult to intervene, whereas normally, it's a child you would pick up and put on your lap, you can't get anywhere with that at all. So he's just lying on his mattress in his room, because they have very bare rooms, because otherwise they'd just destroy it all. So he just lies here and weeps really, and sort of late at night that's quite hard I think.

Many people had learnt different ways of managing their grandchildren, and this is discussed further in 'Emotions'.

Age at interview:

72

Sex:

Male

Background:

Bryan and Moira are both retired. He is a former naval officer whilst Moira used to work part-time as a shop assistant. They have two children and three grandchildren. Ethnicity/nationality: White British.

Bryan' It's interesting actually that that first started when he was quite a lot younger, I think in his earlier teens. We found that he would very frequently repeat back a phrase that somebody else had used, maybe as much as ten or fifteen minutes early, earlier, and not in context. And it took us a little while, it took me a little while anyway, to understand this was his attempt to relate to a conversation that had moved on, which he really wasn't following. But he wanted to. He really did want to be involved and was finding it difficult and the only way to do it was to say well Bloggin's said that and people laughed so if I say it, maybe they'll laugh again and I'll be included. And it was that sort of almost parroting something that had happened, that he was striving for inclusion and couldn't understand when it didn't work. And I suppose I took me a little while to realise that was what it was, and not to simply say, "Oh that's silly." And give an inappropriate reaction which I tended to do, which was wrong of me. And I recognise it, but there you go. One reacted as one felt at the time. He has always struggled to be included. Sometimes he makes it and sometimes he really completely doesn't. And he struggles with it, constantly. But it's not a wish not to engage. It's inability somehow to engage.

Age at interview:

61

Sex:

Female

Background:

Irene lives with her husband. They have three children and two grandchildren. She is a retired teacher. Ethnicity/nationality: White British.

Last year I had a significant birthday and so did my husband, he's younger than me, but it was a significant birthday and there's no way I'm going to separate a party, a family party, or an extended friends without having my boys, because they're the apple of my eye and the delight of my heart. So we had to plan things very carefully. And I knew that they'd need, the boys would need their own spaces, their familiar spaces indoors. So we planned an outside party, which meant we had to have it away from our actual birthdays because we had to have it in the summer, and pray the weather was nice.

But it took an, not just the normal sort of thing of arranging the food and arranging the putting up of gazebo, party gazebo and all those things, and making sure you know who's coming. But it was warning the family that if the children were in the special places it meant that they'd had enough and that they weren't to be approached, you know, even though auntie or uncle or brother or sister or whatever might want to, that they'd taken themselves away. And then I had to broach it with the boys and sort of almost get their consent. "Now look Grandma really, really and Grandpa really would like to have family down, and we want to have music. And now we know that you don't like music on, but we'll have it in the garden and..." We found sort of giving them ownership of it helped because of this control thing. "So what do you think it would be nice for Grandma to have at her party?" "What do we like to have at parties?" You know, and then involving them. So choosing even the serviettes or choosing the balloons. "Can you come round and help Grandma put up the tent so you can see how big it is? You'll be such a big boy, you know, you can give grandpa the pegs and we can put it in so..." And actually, it worked.

I mean it was a big gamble because it might not have worked, because other family events I've had, even when I've had barbecues in the garden, people have come through this space, through to go to the toilet even, and my grandson has said, "Hello, hello. Outside. You go in the garden please. You go in the garden please. Outside. Outside in the garden. And I didn't know how it would work, but giving them the ownership and giving them the right to not have to join in if they didn't want to. If they wanted just to be on the computer or on the Wii or whatever, fine. This is their space, their upstairs rooms. They've got rooms here that they see as their bedrooms. Do you know what I mean?[inhales].

It just took a lot of organisation and it paid off on the day and it was absolutely brilliant. And I couldn't believe the sort of other side of my grandson, the social side. He decided... of course he had to boss everybody, he had to tell, "Oh the candle in lantern's gone out in the tree. It needs to be lit." He had to be in command but it was a kind of social side of him.

Last reviewed May 2015.

All the grandparents we talked with had close relationships with their grandchildren. Many were very hands on, living close to their grandchildren and seeing them regularly. One grandson lived with his grandmother. Others lived further away and saw their grandchildren less frequently. These grandparents also described close and loving relationships with their grandchildren though they were less involved in everyday aspects of their upbringing.

"They are a delight, an absolute delight"
The grandchildren ranged in age from 6 up to 21, and all the grandparents we talked with, described their grandchildren in glowing terms.

And can you tell me about your relationships with your grandchildren in general?

Well I'd like to think that they were jolly good. I mean we've always been accessible and interested and available whenever required to, to help out. And obviously, hideously proud of them [laughs]. Absolutely adore them, they're wonderful children. Absolutely. The elder one is seven, the younger one is four, that's right, four, yes, four, yes four and a half, coming up to five. They're a delight. An absolute delight.

Well as I said before, I feel I have a different relationship with Ben because he is the oldest. He's my first grandchild. I try and respect his, his what he wants to do. I try not to, I try not to sort of inflict myself on him, because sometimes he doesn't want to be cuddled and fussed about, because he doesn't like it, and he's getting too old for it. He's the grand age of seven and a bit. You know, he doesn't want to be hugged and kissed by his nanny any more. But yeah, I mean I just think he's such a beautiful child and his outlook on life is so, so different because of the autism, and sometimes I think it's so very special the way he looks at things. He's got a huge sense of logic and you know, he, he can see ways of doing things that perhaps other people wouldn't, and I am besotted with him [laughs]. I'm a doting nanny [laughs]. Very doting.

A few grandchildren lived with their parents and grandparents when they were babies and this created a strong bond between them. One grandson lived with his grandmother, and saw his mother regularly. Several grandparents cared for their grandchildren on a regular basis. One grandmother had seen her first grandson being born and missed the second child's birth by 30 seconds.

What about your relationship with him. How would you describe that?

I think it's close. I mean I'm I think he's absolutely wonderful. I mean he can be irritating. He's very similar to lots of children on the spectrum, who, he's got very fixed interests. So for instance, he loves being on the London Underground and talking about what line goes where, and the sort of thing that would bore, you know, a lot of people, but he absolutely loves it, and he finds that very interesting. And I just feel very close to him. I think probably because he, I did see him grow up as a baby and I saw him every day for the first two years. I think that child was always going to be very special. I think because of my experiences, early experiences, as a child with my brother and growing up like that I had this almost protective kind of feeling towards him and I just want the best for him. I just think he's great and I do think he's very, very good with the way he's coped with a lot of his difficulties.

I think he can play on it sometimes, you know, we have to be careful, because he is quite cute [laughs]. He's quite clever. So we always have to find that balance of sort of not making too many allowances, but no he's, he's pretty good, but he does still find social, social, what's the word I'm looking for interaction quite, quite difficult as a lot of autistic children do. He's not always quite sure what how he's supposed to behave.

So in terms of my relationship with him. I adore him. I love having cuddles with him. I like going swimming with him. And we do crazy things in the pool together. I mean he's all kitted out with lots of floats and things, because it's, I think it's a bit touch and go whether he'll ever learn to swim on his own. But he loves swimming, and loves being in the water. He loves the freedom, and he can just go off on his own. He loves jumping in. But he'll get into a routine where he jumps in, sploshes to the end of the pool, climbs up the ladder, comes out and he'll do that repetitively, which is a very autistic thing to do. He has quite good receptive language. So he understands quite a lot of things of command. You say to him, "Go and get your shoes." He'll get his shoes. All sorts of things you can ask him to do and he'll do them, and he understands, so I mean, he's for me, one of the great mysteries.

I think because he's not really very ill, he's easy to get along with. I think it's a fairly normal grandma-child relationship. I'm quite bossy, he's quite bossy. We share the same sense of humour.

We can lose our temper with each other, and we can both yell, and then it doesn't seem to matter two minutes later, literally so that's good. He's quick to say he's sorry if he's really being naughty, as opposed to autistic.

Several people talked about how loving their grandchildren were. This was something they hadn't necessarily expected because of stereotypical views of autism.

What are the best things about him?

Oh. I think... it's his smile. He smiles as soon as he sees you. It's his love, and his way, you know, he's, when he talks to you, the funny little things he says. He doesn't understand jokes, but he likes to make his own jokes up, and I think it's just what I get back from him. You know, if I tell you something, it does make me have a lump in my throat, but [name] has to find ways of loving me more. So he came over one day and he said, "I love you, up into outer space and round the planet and back twice." And I went, "That is a lot of love. And I love you as well loads." So the next time he saw me, "I love you up into outer space and back twice zigzagging," because he's found a little bit more." So I always say, "And I love you that as well. It's lovely." And the next morning he said, "I do love you nanny." And I said, "I know." And he said, "Well I've been considering this." He said, "And the more I see you, the more I love you." And this was from a 5 year old. And what else can you say when you've got a child who gives you all that - sorry - but you love him, [laughs] you know, that's [name] is, such a loving child, you know, and there's just this little bit with him. But on the whole he's... it's the love I think, you know, and this happy little soul that he is. That's all I can see about [name]. You'd have to see him to understand him [laughs].

Grandparents had different levels of involvement in their grandchildren's lives. Some grandchildren spent time at their grandparents' house and slept over on a regular basis. One grandparent was not able to have her grandchildren to stay because her house wasn't a suitable environment for them, but she looked after them in their own home. Several grandparents talked about taking their grandchildren out - this is discussed further in Going out.

"He makes it quite clear what he wants and what he doesn't want"
Some grandparents reflected on how their grandchildren didn't always acknowledge them when they saw them, or how they could be quite "rejecting" at times. This was something they learnt to accept. As one grandmother said, she has learnt to respect what her grandson wants and accepts that she can't spend equal amounts of time with her grandchildren because they have such differing interests. Another grandfather was undecided about whether his grandson is content with his own company or, in fact, "dreadfully isolated".

I suppose that in terms of doing things with them at home, they're interesting in as much as they're quite self contained little chaps. They can go and bounce on the trampoline for an hour, an hour and half, two hours. They can run about in the garden, pulling the twigs off the hedge. And you, in a sense, you don't have to do a lot. And it was something I used to struggle with to start with to start with, because I used to think I ought to be doing more. I ought to be sitting down and teaching them A, B, C or reading books. They're not very keen on reading books. So it's actually quite hard to get them to sit on your laps and do things. They, their concentration is very limited, so, you can, you can do activities with them. I tend to more activities when I'm there with my daughter and I may be helping.

I do a lot of textiles and craft work and I know that my daughter's going to have a go at, there's some kind of felt making that you can do. So she'll get me along to help doing that kind of thing, because I know a bit more about it than she does. And... but on the whole you don't have to do that much with them, other than the fact that you have to keep them safe, and keeping them safe is quite a big issue, because you need to know exactly where they are really all of the time. And you need to be clear that they're not in the kitchen, the bathroom or the sitting room. Or likely to, you know, you need to be sure that the gates are shut in the garden and they're not going to escape. You need to be sure that one of them is not climbing on the wrong side of the banisters, and hanging off the sort of top of the stair rails.

So there are things like that, which I think, that, in a way those are the harder things to manage. They're also both doubly incontinent still. So you spend quite a lot of time dealing with that when you look after them. Their diets are quite limited. But they, they do talk to you in their own way, and they use what in this county we call total communication, but it's similar to Makaton. So they use some of that. Not a huge amount, but they do use some, and they use the photographs. They use PECS, the little photographs and symbols, and they're very good with them. So they spend a lot of time giving you pictures of breadsticks or crisps or whatever it is they fancy at that moment.

Brian' Because of the way he is, and his set routine. I mean you know, that's the main thing, is his set routine. And anything that changes that routine, this goes wrong and he just can't cope with it.

Brian' When we go to see him, we're lucky if we see him for about three or four minutes, because once we've said our hellos, he's gone. He goes up to upstairs. And there he'll stay until we leave.

Lucy' Don't forget your bag.

Brian' We've even, he'll even come down, half way down the stairs to see if we're leaving yet because we're not part of his immediate....

Lucy' Well we are... excuse me, but we are part of his Saturday, we always go on a Saturday afternoon. We are part of Saturday's routine. So we arrived about three and we always have to arrive with a bag with some a ....

Lucy' A couple of books or something wrapped up, and he sees us coming through the window and gets all excited, laughing and smiling, and sitting down and waiting and the minute the door's opened, if we chat, like you do don't you when you're in the hallway. You can hear from, from the sitting room, you can hear, "Mm. Mm. Mm." Where, you know, 'what about me?' Sort of thing. So we have to take the bag in. He tolerates us there while he's opening the presents, then he goes upstairs to his bedroom. And then as Brian's just said, after a few minutes. We stay for a cup of tea, he knows we have a cup of tea, and then he will keep coming up and down the stairs.

Many people had learnt different ways of managing their grandchildren, and this is discussed further in 'Emotions'.

Bryan' It's interesting actually that that first started when he was quite a lot younger, I think in his earlier teens. We found that he would very frequently repeat back a phrase that somebody else had used, maybe as much as ten or fifteen minutes early, earlier, and not in context. And it took us a little while, it took me a little while anyway, to understand this was his attempt to relate to a conversation that had moved on, which he really wasn't following. But he wanted to. He really did want to be involved and was finding it difficult and the only way to do it was to say well Bloggin's said that and people laughed so if I say it, maybe they'll laugh again and I'll be included. And it was that sort of almost parroting something that had happened, that he was striving for inclusion and couldn't understand when it didn't work. And I suppose I took me a little while to realise that was what it was, and not to simply say, "Oh that's silly." And give an inappropriate reaction which I tended to do, which was wrong of me. And I recognise it, but there you go. One reacted as one felt at the time. He has always struggled to be included. Sometimes he makes it and sometimes he really completely doesn't. And he struggles with it, constantly. But it's not a wish not to engage. It's inability somehow to engage.

Last year I had a significant birthday and so did my husband, he's younger than me, but it was a significant birthday and there's no way I'm going to separate a party, a family party, or an extended friends without having my boys, because they're the apple of my eye and the delight of my heart. So we had to plan things very carefully. And I knew that they'd need, the boys would need their own spaces, their familiar spaces indoors. So we planned an outside party, which meant we had to have it away from our actual birthdays because we had to have it in the summer, and pray the weather was nice.

But it took an, not just the normal sort of thing of arranging the food and arranging the putting up of gazebo, party gazebo and all those things, and making sure you know who's coming. But it was warning the family that if the children were in the special places it meant that they'd had enough and that they weren't to be approached, you know, even though auntie or uncle or brother or sister or whatever might want to, that they'd taken themselves away. And then I had to broach it with the boys and sort of almost get their consent. "Now look Grandma really, really and Grandpa really would like to have family down, and we want to have music. And now we know that you don't like music on, but we'll have it in the garden and..." We found sort of giving them ownership of it helped because of this control thing. "So what do you think it would be nice for Grandma to have at her party?" "What do we like to have at parties?" You know, and then involving them. So choosing even the serviettes or choosing the balloons. "Can you come round and help Grandma put up the tent so you can see how big it is? You'll be such a big boy, you know, you can give grandpa the pegs and we can put it in so..." And actually, it worked.

I mean it was a big gamble because it might not have worked, because other family events I've had, even when I've had barbecues in the garden, people have come through this space, through to go to the toilet even, and my grandson has said, "Hello, hello. Outside. You go in the garden please. You go in the garden please. Outside. Outside in the garden. And I didn't know how it would work, but giving them the ownership and giving them the right to not have to join in if they didn't want to. If they wanted just to be on the computer or on the Wii or whatever, fine. This is their space, their upstairs rooms. They've got rooms here that they see as their bedrooms. Do you know what I mean?[inhales].

It just took a lot of organisation and it paid off on the day and it was absolutely brilliant. And I couldn't believe the sort of other side of my grandson, the social side. He decided... of course he had to boss everybody, he had to tell, "Oh the candle in lantern's gone out in the tree. It needs to be lit." He had to be in command but it was a kind of social side of him.

Last reviewed May 2015.

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Having a grandchild on the autism spectrum

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Relationship with grandchildren All the grandparents we talked with had close relationships with their grandchildren. Many were very hands on, living close to their grandchildren and seeing them regularly. One grandson lived with his grandmother. Others lived further away and saw their grandchildren less frequently.

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Children Today Entertain themselves Differently

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Children Today Entertain themselves Differently

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Instead of playing with physical toys, many kids just find entertainment on their phones or tablets.

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We see it all around us - tweens pulling out Smartphones on the soccer field as soon as practice ends, or kids connecting with friends, not by talking on their phones, but by texting or via social apps.

New findings from Influence Central's 2016 Digital Trends Study - updating a 2012 digital-usage study - reveals just how big of a role technology now plays the lives of today's kids, how they gain ownership of their own devices at a younger age, and how they increasingly enjoy more access and privacy while online.
KIDS INCREASINGLY TETHERED TO SMARTPHONES

Like their parents, kids have definitely jumped on the phone bandwagon, with the average age now for getting a first phone is 10.3 years old.
FAMILIES TEXT EACH OTHER AT HOME

Kids use their phones overwhelmingly to text, and 31% of parents surveyed said their kids have texted them even when they're in the same home together.
PARENTS DOUBLE DOWN ON GPS TRACKING

While not many parents have embraced the ability to use Smartphones' GPS capabilities to track down their kids, the number who has used this function doubled from 7% in 2012 to 15% in 2016.
CONNECTED KIDS USE GADGETS ON THE GO

Phones have risen on the list of devices kids look to for entertainment on car trips and remain second only to iPads and tablets as the engagement option of choice for the road.

Tablets have taken off for this purpose, increasing in usage from 26% to 55%.

Phones come in at 45%, up from 39% in 2012, and DVDs have fallen to third place in the car with 35% reporting usage today, versus 48% in 2012.

The once popular Nintendo DS now dropped to a distant fourth choice at 24%, down from 40% four years ago.

KIDS AMP UP ONLINE USE - GAINING ACCESS & AUTONOMY

The 2016 survey shows that parents' grip on kids' electronics use loosened up a bit, with the percentage who impose strict limits on where and when kids can use technology/electronics declining to 41% from 49% over four years, and those with "some" limits increasing from 44% to 50%.

That said, parents are getting a bit more diligent about what their children can see/access online - 27% now use online programs to control and filter sites or platforms, compared to 23% four years ago.

Coupled with this slightly more relaxed approach, the autonomy and access kids have to the Internet in 2016 jumped significantly compared to just four years ago, across all electronic devices.
While 85% accessed the Internet from a room shared with the family in 2012, that number dropped to 76% today, and 24% now have "private" access from their bedrooms (compared to 15% in 2012.)

Today, 64% of kids have access to the Internet via their own laptop or tablet, compared to just 42% in 2012, and those accessing via a shared, family computer in a public space dropped from 70% in 2012 to 54% this year.

Additionally, 38% access the Internet via their phone, up from 19%, and 26% have access via a gaming console, a jump from 2012 when 19% did so.
TIME OUT!

Parents' restrictions (texting, social media platforms, apps, timing) on their kids' phones increased from 14% to 34% since our last survey.
50% OF KIDS HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS BY AGE 12

Social media consumes kids today as well, as most score their first social media accounts at an average age of 11.4 years old. The largest percentage of kids - 39% - got their first account between ages 10 and 12, but another 11% got a social media account when they were younger than 10.

Facebook and Instagram represent the most-used social platforms among kids, with 77% using each. But Twitter continues to climb with 49% of kids, and a newer entry, Snapchat, with 47%. No other social media platforms have a significant presence on kids' radar.
METHODOLOGY
In late January/early February 2016, Influence Central surveyed 500 women, via an online, in-depth questionnaire, which focused on the impact of digital technology and electronic devices on today's families. Specifically, we wanted to know how women and their families use today's digital technology, how many devices do they have, and has their tech usage increased over time? And what's been the overall impact on the family?

The survey was conducted online, programmed, and analyzed by Influence Central's Consumer Insights Group. This study updated and provided longitudinal insights to Influence Central's 2012 Digital Trends Research Study, which was fielded in January 2012, surveying approximately 1,000 women.

Click on the link below for additional highlights from our Digital Trends study:

http://influence-central.com/smartphones-the-dramatic-reshaping-of-american-families/
Featured Photo Credit: christianludtke/iStock/Thinkstock

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Kids & Tech: The Evolution of Today's Digital Natives

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We see it all around us - tweens pulling out Smartphones on the soccer field as soon as practice ends, or kids connecting with friends, not by talking on their phones, but by texting or via social apps.

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This is much similar to the experience Grandpa would've had when he received his model train for Christmas. There is a lot of exuberance and wonder.

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"...the father securely positioned as the head of the family and relatively harmonious relationships prevailing within the home. In the years after the Depression, many recalled the era, perhaps with an exaggerated sense of nostalgia, as a period of family togetherness and solidarity. Family members listened to the radio together (by the 1930s, millions of urban families owned at least one radio) or engaged in such activities as playing Monopoly, a popular game that appeared in the mid-1930s..."

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Family and Home, Impact of the Great Depression on - Dictionary definition of Family and Home, Impact of the Great Depression on | Encyclopedia.com: FREE online dictionary

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Definition of Family and Home, Impact of the Great Depression on - Our online dictionary has Family and Home, Impact of the Great Depression on information from Encyclopedia of the Great Depression dictionary. Encyclopedia.com: English, psychology and medical dictionaries

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Explains the reasons many choose to build model trains as a hobby. Lots of history is involved.

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Why Model Railroad?

As with any hobby, the obvious answer is because it's fun!

If you've made it this far, you're probably already interested in building a model railroad for some reason. But maybe you're still on the fence. After all, a model railroad requires an investment in time, money, and energy.

Family Oriented

We are constantly looking for things to do together, "as a family"

.

Above: "Pop", age 88, sharing his layout room with two of his grandsons and three of his many great grandchildren.

Building a model railroad is a great family-oriented hobby. Everyone can get involved and everyone can participate "together".

Every member of the family can be working on some part of things. Mom can be building this part, dad working on that, while the kids are working on something else.

As seen in the picture above, it is also a hobby that can last a life-time. Many people in the hobby started when they were kids and it stayed with them.

Model Railroading is Educational

You probably don't want to tell your kids, but Model Railroading can be very educational. You can learn a whole range of things:
History

Railroads reflect the times they operated in, and vice versa.

Building a model railroad leads to learning about prototype railroads, their times and their settings.

Railroads were, and are, equally important in the histories of other countries.

Basic Carpentry and Electrical Skills

If you've never sawed wood or stripped some wire, You will!

Building a model railroad requires these skills.

You might think that they are "hard" -- they aren't, you just need to start down the path.

You'll be surprised how easy it is to pick them up!

Economics

Railroads are economic entities.

They move raw materials and manufactured goods from place to place.

The patterns of these movements are all driven by economics.

Model building

This is pretty straight forward! After all, we are building a Model Railroad.

There are a whole range of skills that you'll develop over time.

Artistic Techniques

Building scenery and weathering cars, among others, all require a bit of an artistic touch. We can learn that "less is more" (for instance, sometimes just a bit of weathering on a car is all that's really needed).

We can learn that we don't always need a perfect rendition of something, sometimes all we really need is to give the impression.

Did someone say Artistic Techniques? Where does the scenery stop and the backdrop start in this scene on Tim Kerkhoff's HO scale Overland Green River Basin RR?
How To Research

As you get more interested in model railroading, you might decide to build more accurate models or replicate specific scenes on a particular prototype railroad.

To do this you will need to research "the real things".

Conducting research about a railroad, a piece of motive power or rolling stock, or a structure is an interesting facet of the hobby. The Internet, railroad historical societies, and print publications are all good resources for research. And don't forget the extensive collection of photographs that the NMRA has here on the website.

Logical Thought and Planning

From novice model railroader to Master Model Railroader (MMR), logical thought and planning are important.

Everything from figuring out the right steps for building a kit to designing a layout to developing an operating plan for your railroad all require logical thought and planning.

3D and Spatial Visualization

When you decide to take on scratch-building and kit-bashing, you'll quickly learn some of these skills. We often have to visualize how things will finally look, or how they will go together, long before they are done.
Develops Manual Skills

This is pretty self-evident.

To build a model railroad requires some manual dexterity and skills.

You can't be "all thumbs" to build one.

And if you think you are all-thumbs, you'll quickly discover that you are not all thumbs.

Basic Engineering

Model Railroads themselves require a bit of engineering to construct.

We don't want the benchwork to collapse or the electrical wiring to burst into flames! This is self-evident.

But we can also learn a bit of engineering by studying the prototypes for the models we are building;

Why are bridges build this way and not that?

Why did the railroad go this way instead of that way?

How does an engine work?

Geography

Railroads don't exist in a vacuum.

They go through the landscape.

There are mountains and plains, forests and rivers, towns and cities.

Model railroading can develop basic understandings of all of these geographic features.

Furthermore, if you decided to research and model a specific real railroad you can learn a lot about the specific geographic regions where that railroad operated.

The Internet and The Web

You can even learn a lot about The Internet and how to make and run web sites. After all, we put together this web site!

But the best part of it all is that you are not forced to learn much. You can derive as much, or as little, education from the hobby as you want. After all, sometimes we just want to have fun!

Social Aspects

Model Railroading can be a very social hobby.

It's a great way to meet new people.

There are clubs and associations (such as the NMRA) that you can join. These clubs run the whole range, from swapping stories to teaching skills to each other, to actually building and running a permanent model railroad.

There are model building contests.

It's also a great excuse to travel! You can go on rail-fanning trips, go to conventions and shows, or to visit people you've met.

Model railroading appeals to people in all walks of life. If you find a group of model railroaders, you'll find doctors and lawyers, engineers, shop keepers, business people, military folks, mechanics, carpenters, artists, athletes, and politicians. Young and old, rich and poor. And it is fun.

It Takes Time

One of the big concerns today is that we're a culture of "instant gratification". Model Railroading is anything but instant gratification. You can get things up and running quickly, as we hope to show you in these pages.

But you can also then go back and work on things some more, spend more time. You can perfect your skills over the course of years. And as you perfect your skills, you go back and look at the things you did in the past and say "it was good then, but I know I can do better now"; what was great two years ago is barely acceptable last year, and this year it's sub-standard.

Model railroading is an activity of constant improvement and learning. From that, we often learn that the true gratification is not in attaining the goal, but the journey we take to get there.

Model Railroading Is Not Just For Men!

Some folks think that model-railroading is a "guy thing". Perhaps a long time ago it was. But this is the twenty-first century and those stereotypes are pretty much gone. Or at least they should be!

One NMRA division holds a "build a kit" clinic at its yearly show. This clinic is aimed at young children and their parents. The idea is to show them that "it's not hard". Someplace between 1/3 and 1/3 of the attendees are girls, mothers, or grandmothers. So it's obvious that you don't have to be male to be interested in model railroading!

The NMRA has a Master Model Railroader (MMR) program. It takes dedication and a lot of hard work to become an MMR. To become an MMR requires demonstrating skills across the entire spectrum of the hobby. There are 4 women MMRs (here's an interview with Mary Miller, one of the NMRA's MMR's).

Model Railroading is not just for Geeks

Finally, some people may be a bit uncomfortable about "adults playing with toy trains" or may be worried about what their friends and relatives might say. Who cares what they think? But just to set your mind at ease, there are many celebrities who are (or were) also model railroaders, such as:

Winston Churchill

Tom Brokaw

Phil Collins

Joe DiMaggio

Walt Disney

Michael Gross, the actor

Ed Dougherty, the professional golfer

Merle Haggard

Tom Hanks

Elton John

Michael Jordan

Ricardo Patrese, the Formula-1 race car driver

Frank Sinatra

Joe Regalbutto, the actor

Bruce Springsteen

Rod Stewart

Donald Sutherland

Mel Torme

Neil Young, the rock star. He's also a part-owner of Lionel...

It's Fun!

In case you missed it, it's fun!

Back To: Beginner Main Page
(Index)

Page last updated January 9, 2015

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Why Model Railroad? As with any hobby, the obvious answer is because it's fun! If you've made it this far, you're probably already interested in building a model railroad for some reason. But maybe you're still on the fence. After all, a model railroad requires an investment in time, money, and energy.

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This would be something the Grandfather character would be very interested in.

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History of Model Railroading - Model Trains Through The Years

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http://www.modelbuildings.org/Catalog-Page-2.html This short film is a chronology of model railroading from 1891 through to the present day. It shows when model trains first were invented and the major changes that have happened since. It gives a glimpse into why the hobby of model railroading will be around for years to come.