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Building new relationships is much more difficult over zoom, without in-person contact. Relying more on existing relationships, having familiar faces around to help develop new relationships.

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"What does success look like to you?" or "What do you need to be successful?"

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"What does success look like to you?" or "What do you need to be successful?"

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Asking these questions (and asking clarifying questions in general) help get at what the other person is thinking/may need.

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In-Person Tends to Lend Itself for More Questions & Better Building of Off-Project Relationships

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In-Person Tends to Lend Itself for More Questions & Better Building of Off-Project Relationships

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Examining the systems/missions we're working with

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Examining the systems/missions we're working with

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Building in stakeholders' values and visions to create conversations about norms.

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Consistently listen, problem solve, etc., regardless of changes in context or relationship challenges

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Coming to the table understanding the other person. Understand the context, do the homework

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If using virtual means, validate someone's point by using the private chat feature.

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Asking for help as a strategy to build/reinforce trust. Trust as a two-way street, so asking for help works if others are willing to share their knowledge, which works when you are willing to share knowledge.

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Being humble is easier than showing expertise at times

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Being humble is easier than showing expertise at times

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Recognizing that we don't necessarily understand their context & are willing to learn, but also realizing that they may not be prepared for the expertise being brought forth -- how can we better meet them where they are.

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Provide opportunities for multiple ways to engage in virtual sessions

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Provide opportunities for multiple ways to engage in virtual sessions

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E.g.: Seeking out someone's opinion, questions, etc. following a virtual session (if they were in the background) shows that you've been listening, your curiosity, and helps increase engagement.
E.g.: Spend time creating a space for exploration and fun (expanding beyond work focus)

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How to understand the norms in new places or with new people. Creating norms in a group may not automatically make things better if trust isn't present.

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Is there some kind of give that shows you are vulnerable. When someone shows they are going out on a limb for me it's much quicker for me to trust them.

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Redirect work as needed based on ongoing conversations about concerns and needs rather than sticking rigidly to the original plan.

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Being introduced by a mutual connection can help smooth over virtual awkwardness, but also generally speaking. This is especially relevant in Indigenous communities.

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Knowing what we don't know vs. not knowing you don't know.

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Are there stupid questions? How do we mitigate issues of being ignorant of a situation or context?

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Develop a shared understanding of the work 

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Develop a shared understanding of the work 

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Challenges aren't usually personal; work toward shared goal. Open conversations about concerns.

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Listen mindfully, be respectful and timely in responses, be careful about written communications -- ensure they are projecting what you intend to convey, knowing when an in-person conversation is better

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Not taking the first reaction as the final reaction 

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Not taking the first reaction as the final reaction 

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Understand that people go through phases of change. Operate with compassion.

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"I don't know, but I'll look into it" and then actually doing it.

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Simple as that. Sometimes things don't work out the way we want. Expressing that and talking through that outcome gives space for connection and understanding why and how to move it forward.

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A question like this can support someone learning about another person's motivation, perspective, and build understanding.

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Making sure you're not just checking a box

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Making sure you're not just checking a box

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Doing things intentionally and making sure the questions we ask are useful/meaningful, not just for the sake of asking.

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Identifying the barriers & honoring insights from others

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Identifying the barriers & honoring insights from others

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Having awareness of barriers to building trust (e.g., top-down approaches) & honoring insights from others.

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Being consistent, keep it positive, light, engagement

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Learning, building trust, and listening to people

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Paraphrasing what they said to ensure that they understood. Keep asking questions in a polite way. But what if it's not happening - asking politely to ensure we are on the same page.

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You need time to develop trust, vulnerability, etc. So spending time interacting with partners/clients/stakeholders as much as you can. This involves consistency with following up with them (especially individually). Has to be genuine too.

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Actively trying to become familiar with people/systems you're working with. Read/listen/research the area or community

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Up-front saying that you're not an expert, acknowledging and seeking out others' expertise in their systems, schools.

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Taking time to have conversations that are not directly work- or project-related.

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Admitting uncertainty, not knowing, needing support, etc.