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Link to Northumberland Emotional Well Being and Behaviour Support Padlet

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Link to Northumberland Emotional Well Being and Behaviour Support Padlet

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Morpeth All Saints SEND Policy 2021-2022

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Morpeth All Saints SEND Policy 2021-2022

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Morpeth All Saints SEND Policy 2021 2022

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Morpeth All Saints Information Report 2021-2022

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Morpeth All Saints Information Report 2021-2022

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Morpeth All Saints Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information Report  2021 2022

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Supporting children with attention and listening

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Supporting children with attention and listening

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SEND Support Services_  Attention and Listening

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Supporting children with verbal reasoning

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Supporting children with verbal reasoning

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SEND Support Services_  Verbal Reasoning

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Supporting children with Developmental Language Disorder (DLD)

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Supporting children with Developmental Language Disorder (DLD)

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Supporting children with early play skills

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Supporting children with early play skills

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SEND Support Services_ Early Play Skills

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Supporting children with information carrying words

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Supporting children with information carrying words

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SEND Support Services_ Information Carrying Words ICW

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Supporting children in the social use of language

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Supporting children in the social use of language

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SEND Support Services_ Social Use of Language

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Supporting children in the social use of language

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Supporting children in the social use of language

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SEND Support Services_ Social Use of Language

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Supporting children with their spoken language

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Supporting children with their spoken language

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Supporting children working on their speech sounds

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Supporting children working on their speech sounds

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SEND Support Services_ Working on Speech Sounds

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Supporting children to improve their attention and listening skills

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Supporting children to improve their attention and listening skills

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SEND Support Services_  Attention and Listening

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Understanding and supporting your child with ADHD from the ADHD Foundation

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Understanding and supporting your child with ADHD from the ADHD Foundation

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Understanding and supporting your child with ADHD

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A link to the National Autistic Society advice page

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A link to the National Autistic Society advice page

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In-depth advice and guidance about autism and the challenges autistic people and their families face. Topics include what is autism, diagnosis, communication, mental health, education, and more.

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Tips for helping with homework from The National Autistic Society

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Tips for helping with homework from The National Autistic Society

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Learn about some of the possible reasons why your child might struggle with their homework and some strategies you can use to help your child finish their homework.

Why might your autistic child find homework hard?

Your child might be having difficulty because:

the homework does not meet their level of ability and need so they find it too difficult, become frustrated and then don't want to work at home

they don't understand why they have to do work for school when they're at home

it's not be clear to them what work needs to be done if they have difficulty with processing instructions or writing, and are not supervised when recording homework

they feel too tired after a long day at school or there may be too many distractions at home for them to concentrate

they have difficulty with organising, sequencing and prioritising tasks and may misjudge how long to spend doing homework

they feel that the work has to be perfect, and struggle to begin a task because of anxiety.

If your child has a demand avoidant profile their need to be in control may drive them to avoid the demands of homework. The PDA Society has further information, including strategies to try at home.

How to help your child with their homework

Make sure it's achievable

If your child is having difficulty with their homework, talk to their teacher. The teacher may not have much experience of teaching autistic children and may appreciate being given some information and resources about autism in education and how it particularly affects your child.

Ask about the topics that the group is studying and make sure the teacher is planning homework that suits your child. If you feel the homework is too easy or too hard, then discuss it with their teacher.

If the teacher will not adapt the homework, then discuss this with the SENCO, additional support for learning staff member or the most appropriate member of teaching or support staff. The school has a duty under the Equality Act 2010 in England, Wales and Scotland and the Disability Discrimination Act 1995 in Northern Ireland to make reasonable adjustments for any pupil with a disability.

If your child has an education health and care plan (EHCP), a statement of special educational needs (statement of SEN) or a coordinated support plan (CSP) and it doesn't include difficulties that your child has with homework, then you could ask for an early annual review to have it included.

If you feel that your child's educational needs are not being adequately met you may wish to contact our Education Rights Service for specific advice.

Support your child with motivation

Your child may have difficulty transferring working at school to home. Visual supports can really help autistic children to be more focused, so ask at school if they could have a visual timetable that extends to your child completing homework. A teacher could talk your child through this on days when homework is set.

A social story™ is another useful way to explain to a child about a school day and you can include a part about doing homework.

Try using a motivator, an item or activity that your child really likes, and include a picture/symbol of it on a visual timetable that your child can follow. For example, this could show 'homework first, then computer time' as this may encourage them to start homework.

Try to alternate the motivator, for example one day it might be 'homework then computer' and the next day it could be 'homework then watching a favourite video'. It also helps to use positive words of encouragement when your child is working well, especially if your child is anxious about the homework. Reward and encourage small steps by using targeting and specific praise.

If it does become extremely difficult for your child to work at home, ask school if they have a homework club, or speak to the headteacher to ask if they would considering setting one up.

Check your child is given clear instructions

It will help your child if the teacher uses clear and direct language to give precise instructions for homework, stating specifically what your child needs to do and when it needs to be done by.

If your child struggles with language processing, then they may need more time to note down homework. Written instructions breaking the homework down further can also be helpful. Flow charts, mind maps, spider diagrams or bullet points are more helpful than verbal explanations.

If your child has problems recording their homework in a homework diary, ask the teacher and/or teaching assistant if they can help them or adapt the way it's done. For example, if homework is written up on a white board for children to copy, could your child be supervised while doing this or could they have a printout of the homework?

Ask the teacher if they could simplify the way they present homework, by highlighting the important words on a homework sheet, using visual supports or bullet points. If the child has problems writing, could they use a computer to do their homework?

You could ask if your child can use a dictaphone, either to record the teacher's instructions about homework, or their own notes-to-self about the homework tasks, and listen to them at home.

Think about when and where to do homework

The best time to start homework will depend on your child. You may want to give them some time for a break after the school day, rather than going straight into starting homework. Or you could try starting straight after school.

You may wish to start homework before a preferred or fun activity, using a visual timetable to show your child what will be happening. It can help to do homework at the same time each day so it becomes part of a routine.

If possible, keep an area of your home free for your child to use to do their homework. It might help to set up a desk or table that they can work at. Ideally, it should be away from any distractions like the television. It helps if you ask other siblings not to interrupt them while they are working. Let your child know you are available if they need your help.

Help them with organisation and timing

If your child finds it difficult to concentrate on work for a long time, you may need to sit with them first to help keep them focused. You could start by getting them to work for just a short time and then build up gradually. It could help to use a timer to show how long they need to spend on the homework.

Communicate with your child's school

Keep the school up-to-date with how your child is progressing with homework. Ask the school if they can set up a home-school communication book or diary, so can you can keep in touch with them or keep in contact by talking to the class teacher, SENCO/additional support for learning staff member, headteacher or other appropriate member of staff about any homework issues you have.

There may be times when your child has more difficulties than usual and finds it particularly hard to concentrate, or behaves in a way that affects their ability to do homework. This might happen when there are significant changes in the family, or when your child is ill or anxious.

If doing homework causes extreme problems during this time, then see if it's possible for your child not to have homework for a while. You can always go back to trying to get your child to engage in it again by re-introducing it gradually.

Getting further help

You may find that you need to secure extra help for your child in school.

Our Education Rights Helpline provides impartial, confidential information, advice and support on education rights and entitlements for parents and carers of pre-school and school-age autistic children to help them get the educational support their child needs.

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Homework - a guide for parents and carers

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Learn about some of the possible reasons why your child might struggle with their homework and some strategies you can use to help your child finish their homework.

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Suggestions for supporting sleep from the ADHD Foundation

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Suggestions for supporting sleep from the ADHD Foundation

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Sleep diary template from  from the ADHD Foundation

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Sleep diary template from  from the ADHD Foundation

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7 amazing foods for ADHD brains from the ADHD Foundation

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7 amazing foods for ADHD brains from the ADHD Foundation

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Amazing foods for ADHD Brains from ADHD Foundation

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Tips for supporting your child with their homework from the ADHD Foundation

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Tips for supporting your child with their homework from the ADHD Foundation

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Tip for establishing a sleep routine from the ADHD Foundation

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Tip for establishing a sleep routine from the ADHD Foundation

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Ideas for visual reminders from the ADHD Foundation

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Ideas for visual reminders from the ADHD Foundation

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Help boost your child's mood with these tips from the ADHD Foundation

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Help boost your child's mood with these tips from the ADHD Foundation

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Some suggestions for cooling down techniques from the ADHD Foundation

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Some suggestions for cooling down techniques from the ADHD Foundation

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Breathing to relax techniques from the ADHD Foundation 

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Breathing to relax techniques from the ADHD Foundation 

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How to recognise anxieties and how to reduce them from the ADHD Foundation

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How to recognise anxieties and how to reduce them from the ADHD Foundation

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Recognising anxiety and how to reduce it

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Supporting mental wellness from the ADHD Foundation

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Supporting mental wellness from the ADHD Foundation

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Parents tips for supporting children at lunchtime and break times from the National Autistic Society

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Parents tips for supporting children at lunchtime and break times from the National Autistic Society

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School can be challenging for your child or young person, with unstructured times being particularly difficult. Here, we look at reasons for this and ways in which parents and school can help.
We also talk about bullying and how increased awareness and understanding can help.

Autistic children and young people have difficulty with communication, social interaction, friendships and imaginative play.  Because of this, the playground can be intimidating as they can't read the body language of others and find it difficult to understand 'social rules'. They may have difficulty developing social skills.

Autistic children and young people like structure and routine because it helps them to cope in an unpredictable world.  A school dining room or playground can be distressing as they may:

have difficulty understanding other people's behaviour

struggle to cope with unpredictability

have differing sensory needs.

Support ideas

Wherever possible, it's important to have an open and mutually supportive relationship with your child or young person's school.  Here are some ideas that you can try or suggest to school to help your child feel more comfortable in the school environment during break and lunch time.

Communication passports

With your child, make a communication passport so that teaching and support staff can find out more about them. Include information about things they like and don't like and how they communicate. There are templates you can buy or use online.
Lunchtime clubs
Lunchtime clubs such as an art or Lego group can be useful, especially if the activity is of a particular interest to your child or young person and you know that they can be actively involved.

Be cautious of lunchtime activities that can be viewed as punishment, it's important to understand the difference between a structured activity and a directive one.

Supervision

Good supervision during unstructured times is essential. Staff can monitor and observe autistic children and young people and then identify and share the support needs of those who can't express their own feelings.

Ask school what supervision your child or young person has during unstructured times. It's also useful for all support staff to have some autism awareness training, particularly those offering playground support.

A safe and quiet place

It's useful for autistic children and young people to have an agreed safe and quiet place they can go to when they feel anxiety building or are overloaded by sensory stimuli. This could be within the school inclusion unit, library or calmer area of the school and may not be the same for all autistic pupils.

To avoid stigma being attached to this place, it's helpful to choose an area that has many established uses. Talk to school to see if they can designate an area for your child or young person and whether this could also be used at the beginning and end of the school day.

It's important that autistic pupils also have the opportunity to interact socially, but use this resource carefully by monitoring the need for and benefit of it with your child regularly.

Social skills and self-esteem lessons

Social skills or self-esteem lessons can help to boost confidence. These can help autistic children and young people to increase their understanding of social situations, interpret non-verbal signals and practise skills such as turn-taking, listening and negotiating. Classes should be tailored for the pupils who are attending.

Ask school if they use any social education programmes and whether your child or young person could be included.

Social stories™ and comic strip conversations

Many autistic children and young people lack social understanding. Social stories™ are short descriptions of a particular situation, event or activity, which include specific information about what to expect in that situation and why.

Comic strip conversations use symbols, colour and stick figure drawings to represent the different elements of a conversation.  Seeing the more abstract aspects of social communication visually can help to make the feelings of other more concrete and easier to understand.

If your child or young person is struggling with a particular social situation or event in school, ask support staff if they could write a social story™ or comic strip conversation to help.

Visual supports

Visual supports can be used as prompts for your child or young person. For example, they may have a card that reminds them to go to the safe and quiet place if they become anxious.

Stress scales can also help autistic children and young people who find it difficult to understand and communicate their emotions.  Traffic light systems, a visual thermometer or a scale of 1 - 5 that present emotions as colours or numbers can be useful to them during unstructured times.

You could work with your child at home to produce a visual prompt, or a stress scale.

Bullying

Schools should have a zero tolerance no bullying policy that is consistently enforced. Any incident of bullying must be investigated and pupils should be encouraged to report any kind of intimidating behaviour. Your child should feel comfortable talking about bullying they are experiencing and be confident that action will be taken.

Some autistic children and young people may not recognise bullying, so it's important that teaching and support staff observe behaviour in and out of the classroom.

Classroom and learning support assistants are often able to notice an incident or hear remarks made by other pupils and should document these to share with relevant staff and parents.

One form of bullying is social exclusion. It can help autistic children and young people to have a 'buddy' during unstructured times. This could be a peer who spends lunchtime with your child or young person, either regularly or when there is a particular need.

School could identify a specific bench or area in the playground as a 'buddy' stop. This can help playground assistants to identify children and young people who need help to interact with others.

It is important that your child has identified adults that they can talk to about concerns. Having more than one person will avoid them becoming stressed due to the absence of an identified adult.

An autistic child or young person may find social interaction too demanding. If attempts have been made to support them to develop friendships and it's clear their choice is to spend time alone, they should be allowed to do so.

Awareness and understanding

You could speak to your child or young person's teacher about creating opportunities for all pupils to develop an understanding of medical conditions, special educational or additional support needs and disabilities. This could be a school assembly where information on many additional needs can be presented, without highlighting a particular condition or pupil.

Many autistic children and young people will have difficulties during unstructured times, but empathy and understanding from others will help.

It is important to remember that autistic children and young people are different from each other and strategies  that work with one may not be suitable for others. Also, those that have been identified as being useful for your child will need to be reviewed on a regular basis.

Children and young people with a demand avoidant profile  will need different education support strategies.

Further help from our charity

Read more about social stories and visual supports

Read our information on bullying

Contact our  Education Rights Service  for advice and support.

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Difficulties at lunch and break time - a guide for parents and carers

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School can be challenging for your child or young person, with unstructured times being particularly difficult. Here, we look at reasons for this and ways in which parents and school can help.  We also talk about bullying and how increased awareness and understanding can help. Autistic children and young people have difficulty with communication, social interaction, friendships and imaginative play.

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Glossary of words you may find within education relating to Autism from The National Autistic Society 

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Glossary of words you may find within education relating to Autism from The National Autistic Society 

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We are registered as a charity in England and Wales (269425) and in Scotland (SC039427). The National Autistic Society is also a company limited by guarantee, registered at Companies House (01205298). VAT registration number: 653370050. © The National Autistic Society 2021

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Dealing with change from the National Autistic Society

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Dealing with change from the National Autistic Society

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Autistic people can find any kind of change difficult, but there are many things you can do to support them.  Read our top tips on preparing for changes.

Routines and difficulties with change

"Reality to an autistic person is a confusing, interacting mass of events, people, places, sounds and sights... Set routines, times, particular routes and rituals all help to get order into an unbearably chaotic life. Trying to keep everything the same reduces some of the terrible fear."

Jolliffe (1992) in Howlin (2004), p.137.

The world can seem a very unpredictable and confusing place to autistic people, who often prefer to have a daily routine so that they know what is going to happen every day. They may want to always travel the same way to and from school or work, or eat exactly the same food for breakfast.

Rules can be very important for some autistic people. It may be difficult for an autistic person to take a different approach to something once they have been taught the 'right' way to do it.

Sometimes minor changes such as moving between two activities, can be distressing; for others big events like holidays, starting or changing school, moving house or Christmas, which create change and upheaval, can cause anxiety.

Some autistic people have daily timetables so that they know what is going to happen, when. However, the need for routine and sameness can extend beyond this. You might see:

changes to the physical environment (such as the layout of furniture in a room), or the presence of new people or absence of familiar ones, being difficult to manage

rigid preferences about things like food (only eating food of a certain colour), clothing (only wearing clothes made from specific fabrics), or everyday objects (only using particular types of soap or brands of toilet paper)

a need for routine around daily activities such as meals or bedtime. Routines can become almost ritualistic in nature, followed precisely and with attention paid to the tiniest details

verbal rituals, with a person repeatedly asking the same questions and needing a specific answer

compulsive behaviour, for example a person might be constantly washing their hands or checking locks. This does not necessarily mean they have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)  but if you are concerned about this, speak to your GP in the first instance.

People's dependence on routines can increase during times of change, stress or illness and may even become more dominant or elaborate at these times.

Unexpected changes are often most difficult to deal with. Autistic people may not be comfortable with the idea of change, but may be able to manage it better if they can prepare for changes in advance.

Strategies to deal with changes

Find out about the change

As a parent or carer, you can be proactive in finding out what is involved in a specific change. For example, you might know that a teacher is leaving your child's school, but might not have been given any further information about new staff or new timetables. Find out when the changes are going to take place and what is involved.

Describe the change

Mark the day of the change on a calendar and encourage the person to count down to that day. Use clear language when describing the change, giving the person time to process what you say, and limit your use of gestures and facial expressions.

Use visual supports

Visual supports can help you to explain what will be happening.

Show the person photos of a new place (eg a hotel room), person (eg a new support worker) or activity (eg swimming). Make a book of photos, or a collection of images on their device, so they can look at it before and during the change.

Use visual supports to show the outcome of certain activities. For example, if you are going on holiday, just showing them a picture of an aeroplane may make them reluctant and nervous to go on a plane - they may not see the relevance of the plane. Show pictures of the whole process instead, including your destination. This will help them to understand the whole situation better. Reverse the series of pictures to show the return journey.

On the day of the change, or during a holiday, a visual timetable can be useful to explain exactly what will be happening.

Read more of our information about  visual supports.

Involve the right people

If the change is because of a move to a new school or care service, staff from both settings should be part of the preparations. The autistic person must be central in any decision making, and staff need to know about the things they need support with, what they get anxious about, and how they communicate.

Read our information about person-centred planning and our transition advice for school and college staff and for mental health workers.

Moving from one activity to the next

Sequencing can be difficult for an autistic person - that is, putting what is going to happen in a day in a logical order in their mind. Abstract concepts such as time aren't easy to understand, and autistic people may find it hard to wait. You may find their behaviour changes when transitioning between activities, for example becoming anxious. Unstructured time, such as break times at school, which can be noisy and chaotic, may also be difficult to deal with.

You could:

use a visual timetable showing the day's activities, or a now-and-next board

use a timer to indicate when an activity is finished

encourage the person to put the activity into a finished tray or to put the symbol for the activity into a finished box to signal that the activity is over

use visual supports to show the steps leading up to each activity

make the waiting time between activities as short as possible

have a visual, concrete representation of how long the person needs to wait before the activity is going to begin - this might be an electronic timer, sand timer, or stickers on a clock face

consider making enjoyable activities available during transition times - a transition box, containing a number of different activities, could keep the person focused during these times, making an unstructured timeframe much more structured.

Be aware of anxiety

Look out for signs of anxiety and support the person to express how they are feeling. Give them a chance to ask questions about the change. You could offer a worry book or box where they can write or draw any concerns they have. Explain the good things about the change, for example if you are moving to a bigger house or going on holiday. Create a social story™ to explain what they could do if they are anxious. Consider using our Brain in hand autism support app.

Common changes

We have information for you about some common changes.

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Guidance on how to support autistic people with facing changes in their life.

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How to deal with a child showing distressed behaviours form the National Autistic Society

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How to deal with a child showing distressed behaviours form the National Autistic Society

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Some autistic people can display distressed behaviour. It includes what would normally be considered physically aggressive behaviour, such as slapping, biting, spitting or hair pulling, but can also include other behaviours if they are having a negative impact on the person or their family. Below we give some strategies to try and information on getting support.

What causes distressed behaviour?

Behaviour has a function, and there could be a number of reasons for it. These may include difficulty in processing information, unstructured time, sensory differences, a change in routine, transition between activities, or physical reasons like feeling unwell, tired or hungry. Not being able to communicate these difficulties can lead to anxiety, anger and frustration, and then to an outburst of distressed behaviour.

Strategies to try

Keep a behaviour diary

Completing a behaviour diary, which records what is occurring before, during and after the behaviour, could help you to understand its purpose. It is important to make notes on the environment, including who was there, any change in the environment and how the person was feeling. A diary may be completed over a couple of weeks or longer if needed.

Rule out medical and dental causes

Distressed behaviour such as biting may be due to pain in the mouth, teeth or jaw. Spitting may be related to a difficulty with swallowing or to producing too much saliva. Visit your GP or dentist to rule out medical causes.

Your response

Respond quickly and consistently, eg for spitting, wipe away saliva immediately. Limit verbal comments, facial expressions and other displays of emotion, as these may inadvertently reinforce the behaviour. Try to speak calmly and clearly, in a neutral and steady tone of voice.

Be consistent in your approach to the behaviour, and ask others around the person to use the same approach.

Communication

Speak clearly and precisely using short sentences. By limiting your communication, the person is less likely to feel overloaded by information and more likely to be able to process what you say.

You can use social stories to explain why it's not appropriate to bite/spit/hit, and describe alternatives.

Support the person to communicate their wants, needs and physical pain or discomfort by using visual supports. Some people use communication boards to indicate how they are feeling. This could be a blackboard or a Velcro board with key emotional words or emotional faces. Every time the person engages in distressed behaviour, encourage them to use this form of communication instead.

Use rewards

Using rewards and motivators can help to encourage a particular behaviour. Even if the behaviour or task is very short, if it is followed by lots of praise and a reward, the person can learn that the behaviour is acceptable.

Rewards can take the form of verbal praise and attention, preferred activities, toys, tokens or sometimes small amounts of favourite foods or drinks. Ensure that you clearly name the behaviour that you are rewarding, eg "Jane, that's good waiting!" and ensure that rewards are provided immediately after the behaviour that you wish to encourage eg "You can spend 10 minutes on the computer now".

Some autistic people do not enjoy social attention. In these circumstances, verbal praise can cause distress and actually stop the person engaging in the desired behaviour in the future.

Redirect to other behaviour

Tell the person what they need to do instead of the behaviour, eg "David, hands down". Use visual cues such as picture symbols to back up instructions. Redirect to another activity that is incompatible with the behaviour (eg an activity that requires both hands, or that occupies the mouth, such as sucking a sweet) and provide praise and reinforcement for the first occurrence of appropriate behaviour, eg "David, that's excellent playing with your train".

Remove physical and sensory discomforts

Provide relief for physical discomfort, eg painkillers. Remove unpleasant sensory input, eg use ear defenders to block out noise, use sunglasses to reduce light, and reduce strong smells, replacing them with smells that the person prefers.

Prepare for change

Prepare the person for any changes in routine or for meeting new people. You could use visual supports, showing photos of new people and places, introducing them in small stages.

Read our tips on dealing with change and transitioning between activities. - link to new page in behaviour section - transitions and dealing with change.

Provide sensory opportunities

Find alternative activities, or provide a bag of alternative objects, that provide a similar sensory experience to that provided by the behaviour, and build these into the daily routine. For a person who bites, you could provide chewy tubes, gum, carrots, raw pasta or sultanas. For a person who pinches, you could provide play-dough. For a person who hits, you could do a clapping song/rhyme. For a person who pulls hair, tie long hair back and find something to replicate the pulling sensation, eg 'row your boat' game, tug of war, climbing up a rope.

Opportunities for relaxation

Create opportunities for relaxation. You can do this by, for example, encouraging the person to look at bubble lamps, smell essential oils, listen to music, or use a swing.

Distressed behaviour can often be diffused by an activity that releases energy or pent-up anger or anxiety. This might be punching a punch bag, bouncing on a trampoline or running around the garden. Read more about anger management

When a particular person is targeted

If a particular family member or support worker seems to be the target for challenging behaviour, think about what might be triggering it. It might be that a perfume scent is overwhelming, or that the other person is associated with a distressing activity.

Maybe the person is upset when the support worker or family member spends time with other people. If so, you could try scheduling some time specifically for them to spend together and showing this on a visual timetable. Very strict boundaries need to be kept as to when this will happen and for how long. It may be useful to have a sand timer so that the person knows that the time is up when the sand runs out.

There may simply a personality clash between the person and a staff member. If this may be the case, consider whether this staff member could work with other people instead?

Getting specialist help

If the distressed behaviour is presenting significant risks to the person or those around them, try to get specialist help to deal with the behaviour. Arrange an appointment with the GP to discuss the issue and to request referral to a behavioural specialist if appropriate.

Support for you as a parent/carer

There are a number of ways in which you could get some support.

Meet up with other carers, or get support from a local National Autistic Society branch or group, community service or family support service in your area. Other local support groups and services are listed in our Autism Services Directory.

Get ideas from other families, and share your tips with them in our Online Community.

Request a social care needs assessment for your family member and for yourself as a carer. You may be able to get respite care or the help of an outreach team who can support you with behaviour strategies.

Get support from a counsellor who understands autism and can support you and your family.

Further information

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This guide offers some strategies for helping autistic people who are showing signs of distressed behaviour.

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At a glance

Working memory refers to how we hold on to and work with information stored in short-term memory.

Kids use working memory to learn and follow directions.

You can build working memory games into your child's daily life.

Does your child have a hard time keeping one bit of information in mind while doing something else? For example, you're making spaghetti together, and your child's in charge of the sauce. But your child leaves to answer a text and forgets to come back and stir. Working memory challenges can cause trouble with tasks like these.

Working memory refers to how we hold on to and work with information that short-term memory stores. (In the past, the term working memory was used interchangeably with short-term memory.) It's part of a group of skills called executive function.

Kids use working memory all the time to learn. It's needed for things like following multi-step directions or solving a math problem in your head. You can help your child improve working memory by building simple strategies into everyday life.

1. Work on visualization skills.

Encourage kids to create a picture in their mind of what they've just read or heard. For example, say you've asked your child to set the table for five people. Have your child imagine what the table should look like, and then draw it. As kids get better at visualizing, they can describe the image instead of drawing it.

2. Have your child teach you.

Being able to explain how to do something involves making sense of information and mentally filing it. Maybe your child is learning a skill, like how to dribble a basketball. Ask your child to teach you this skill. Teachers do something similar by pairing up students in class. This lets them start working with the information right away rather than waiting to be called on.

3. Try games that use visual memory.

There are lots of matching games that can help kids work on visual memory, like the classic game Concentration (or Memory). You can also do things like give kids a magazine page and ask them to circle all instances of the word the or the letter a. License plates can also be a lot of fun. Take turns reciting the letters and numbers on a license plate and then saying them backwards, too.

Simple card games like Crazy Eights, Uno, Go Fish, and War can improve working memory in two ways. Kids have to keep the rules of the game in mind. They also have to remember what cards they have and which ones other people have played.

5. Encourage active reading.

There's a reason highlighters and sticky notes are so popular: Jotting down notes and underlining or highlighting text can help kids keep the information in mind long enough to answer questions about it. Talking out loud and asking questions about the reading material can also help with working memory. Active reading strategies like these can help with forming long-term memories, too.

6. Chunk information into smaller bites.

Ever wonder why phone numbers and social security numbers have hyphens in them? Because it's easier to remember a few small groups of numbers than it is to remember one long string of numbers. Keep this in mind when you need to give your child multi-step directions. Write them down or give them one at a time. You can also use graphic organizers to help break writing assignments into smaller pieces.

Using multiple senses to process information can help with working memory and long-term memory. Write tasks down so your child can look at them. Say them out loud so your child can hear them. Walk through the house as you discuss the family chores your child needs to complete. Using multisensory strategies can help kids keep information in mind long enough to use it.

8. Help make connections.

Help your child form associations that connect different details and make them more memorable. One way is to grab your child's interest with fun mnemonics. (For instance, the made-up name "Roy G. Biv" can help kids remember the order of the colors in the rainbow - red, orange, yellow, and so on.) Finding ways to connect information helps with forming and retrieving long-term memory. It also helps with working memory, which is what we use to hold and compare new and old memories.

Key takeaways

Teaching kids ways to visualize thoughts can help improve their working memory.

Card games and other fun activities can help build working memory.

Finding ways to connect information can help your child with long-term memory as well as working memory.

About the author

About the author

Amanda Morin is the author of "The Everything Parent's Guide to Special Education" and the former director of thought leadership at Understood. As an expert and writer, she helped build Understood from its earliest days.

Reviewed by

Reviewed by

Thomas E. Brown, PhD is a clinical psychologist and clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the Keck School of Medicine of USC.

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How to Improve Working Memory in Kids | Understood

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Working memory refers to how we hold on to and work with information stored in short-term memory. Kids use working memory to learn and follow directions. You can build working memory games into your child's daily life. Does your child have a hard time keeping one bit of information in mind while doing something else?

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Supporting your child with spelling with these tips from The British Dyslexia Association

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Supporting your child with spelling with these tips from The British Dyslexia Association

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Spelling is one of the biggest, and most widely experienced difficulties for the dyslexic child and adult. Most dyslexic people can learn to read well with the right support, however, spelling appears to be a difficulty that persists throughout life.

It's not entirely understood why this is the case. It is known that dyslexia impacts phonological processing and memory. This means that dyslexic individuals can have difficulty hearing the different small sounds in words (phonemes) and can't break words into smaller parts in order to spell them.

Many children with dyslexia find it difficult to learn how letters and sounds correspond to each other and may not be able to recall the right letters to be able to spell the sounds in words. The complexity of the English language means that learners also have to remember irregular spelling patterns and sight words such as the, said, was.

Although spelling is likely to be something that a dyslexic person always finds challenging, there are strategies that parents and teachers can put in place to support learning.

The British Dyslexia Association has created a series of videos for teachers called Teaching for Neurodiversity, you may find them helpful to support learning at home.

There are some simple activities you can do with your child to help strengthen their spelling:

Help your child to understand words are made up of syllables and each syllable has a vowel sound. Say a word and ask how many syllables there are. Help your child to spell each syllable at a time

Write words in different coloured pens to make a rainbow or in shaving foam, flour or sand over and over again to help your child remember them

Look with your child at the bits in the words which they find difficult - use colours to highlight just the tricky bit

Look for the prefixes and suffixes in words, e.g. -tion, -ness and learn these chunks. Explore with your child how many words have the same chunks at the beginning or the end of words

Use flashcards or play matching games to let your child see the words lots of times - the more times they see the word, the better they will be able to read and spell it

Use cut out or magnetic letters to build words together, then mix up the letters and rebuild the word together

Use mnemonics - silly sentences where the first letter of each word makes up the word to be spelled

Find smaller words in the bigger word, for example 'there is a hen in when'

Go over the rules of spelling together, e.g. a 'q' is always followed by a 'u'. Ask your child's teacher for the rules they teach in class

Resources

Soundcheck booklet: This was produced for the Department for Education funded BDA project 'Sound Check'. The aim of the booklet is to help parents and carers support their child with reading, spelling and handwriting.

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Spelling is one of the biggest, and most widely experienced difficulties for the dyslexic child and adult. Most dyslexic people can learn to read well with the right support, however, spelling appears to be a difficulty that persists throughout life. It's not entirely understood why this is the case.

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Supporting your child with handwriting with these tips from The British Dyslexia Association

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Supporting your child with handwriting with these tips from The British Dyslexia Association

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When learning to read, children first have to link the shape of the word on the page with the sound it makes. Then, when it comes to writing, they have to recreate that shape back onto paper.

For children with dyslexia, decoding these patterns and making these links can often be very difficult. As a result, they frequently fail to develop the automatic flow of writing which will help them to express themselves clearly and easily in writing.

Handwriting tips

The key to learning is practice, practice, practice!

Keep to short timed sessions so your child is able to maintain concentration without becoming bored or uncomfortable

Make sure your child is sitting comfortably when they write, with their feet firmly on the floor. If it's helpful, try using a slanted writing surface

Help your child to learn to grip the pen/pencil properly using the tripod grip. This allows the fingers and wrist to move freely without putting pressure on the hand

Help your child strengthen the muscles in their hand by using play dough or performing hand exercises

It's recommended that children learn to write using continuous cursive handwriting so they don't have to learn how to form letters twice when they need to write more quickly later on.

When a dyslexic child is learning to write it's important to be aware that a co-occurring condition such as Developmental Co-ordination Disorder or dyspraxia may also be present. For more information visit www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk. There are ergonomic products available which can help pupils who find holding a pen or pencil uncomfortable

For some pupils with dyslexia and/or dyspraxia the difficulties associated with handwriting can mean that the only way that they can achieve the speed of writing needed for success in the education system is to use a computer. If this is the case then learning to touch type will be beneficial.

Resources

The British Dyslexia Association has created a series of videos for teachers called Teaching for Neurodiversity which cover a range of topics such as spelling, writing and homework. You may find them helpful to support learning at home.

Sound Check booklet: This booklet was created as part of the Department for Education funded project 'Sound Check'. Its aim is to help parents and carers to support their child with reading, writing and spelling.

National Handwriting Association

The National Handwriting Association is a charity which aims to promote good practice in the teaching of handwriting and to support those who work with children with handwriting difficulties.
Website: www.nha-handwriting.org.uk

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Handwriting - British Dyslexia Association

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When learning to read, children first have to link the shape of the word on the page with the sound it makes. Then, when it comes to writing, they have to recreate that shape back onto paper. For children with dyslexia, decoding these patterns and making these links can often be very difficult.

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Supporting your child with reading with these tips from The British Dyslexia Association

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Supporting your child with reading with these tips from The British Dyslexia Association

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Many parents first become aware of their child’s dyslexia when their child starts school and they experience difficulties learning to read. Some children…

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Supporting your child with homework with these tips from  The British Dyslexia Association

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Supporting your child with homework with these tips from  The British Dyslexia Association

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Homework can be a frustrating and upsetting experience for dyslexic students and their parents.

For a student with dyslexia it's not just the homework task itself that can be challenging, many dyslexic people can really struggle with organisation, concentration and short term memory. All of these things can make homework a daily source of confusion and frustration. This can result in a reluctance to try and poor self-confidence.

There are strategies that every parent can put in place to support their child's learning.

Establish a routine

Dyslexic learners may find it difficult to maintain concentration for long periods of time and may get tired quickly, so it's a good idea to create a routine which emphasises 'a little and often' rather than trying to squeeze too much work into a longer session.

Remember to take after-school activities into account when you develop your homework plan.

Encourage your child to write down what is needed for the next day and to check the list before they leave for school/college.

Support your child

Be encouraging. Praise your child when they are trying their best, and focus your praise 'It was really good when you..'.

Go over homework instructions together to make sure they understand what they are supposed to do. You can help your child to prepare for tasks and generate ideas together before they start work.

If your child has difficulty writing homework down at school or remembering tasks, talk to their teacher so that the homework is given to them on a worksheet or can be accessed via the school's website.

Checking work

Help your child learn to check their own work, so this becomes a natural part of the homework routine as they get older. Your child may find working on a computer easier than writing. Show them how to use the spellcheck facility and help them learn to touch type.

Other useful strategies include:

Reading work out loud or using text-to-speech software to read work back - this can help to identify errors that your child might miss when they read silently

Making a list of frequent spelling, punctuation, and grammar mistakes to check against. For example, if your child often misses capital letters, make sure that's on the list.

Organisation

Dyslexic people can really struggle with organisation. For an older child technology such as a mobile phone will be a helpful tool. They can take photos of any important information, set reminders of important events or deadlines and record voice messages as a reminder.

Other useful strategies are to:

Help your child to make a written homework plan which includes tasks and deadlines, and revision plans.

Colour-code subjects and make sure all notes for a particular subject are kept together in folders.

Create visual reminders such as a prominent calendar or 'to do' list.

Study skills

Try to help your child build successful study skills for example, by creating a revision timetable, by using different techniques for revising and reviewing learning, e.g. using mindmaps, by talking through or recording what they've learned, or by thinking of different ways to complete a particular task.

Encourage them to think of coping strategies for when they get 'stuck'. For example, who would be the right person to ask for help if they are unable to tackle a problem on their own.

Resources

The British Dyslexia Association has created a series of videos for teachers called Teaching for Neurodiversity which cover a range of topics such as spelling, writing and homework. You may find them helpful to support learning at home.

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Homework can be a frustrating and upsetting experience for dyslexic students and their parents. For a student with dyslexia it's not just the homework...

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10 Facts to know about dyslexia from Nessy

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10 Facts to know about dyslexia from Nessy

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Help and advice for parents with a child with DCD

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Help and advice for parents with a child with DCD

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This leaflet was produced through a consensus process led by Movement Matters, which involved relevant stakeholders and organisations from across the UK.

What is DCD?

Developmental Co-ordination Disorder (DCD), also known as Dyspraxia in the UK, is a common disorder affecting fine or gross motor co-ordination in children and adults.

This lifelong condition is formally recognised by international organisations including the World Health Organisation.

DCD is distinct from other motor disorders such as cerebral palsy and stroke and occurs across the range of intellectual abilities.

Individuals may vary in how their difficulties present; these may change over time depending on environmental demands and life experience.

An individual's co-ordination difficulties may affect participation and functioning of everyday life skills in education, work and employment.

Children may present with difficulties with self-care, writing, typing, riding a bike and play as well as other educational and recreational activities.

In adulthood many of these difficulties will continue, as well as learning new skills at home, in education and work, such as driving a car and DIY.

There may be a range of co-occurring difficulties which can also have serious negative impacts on daily life. These include social and emotional difficulties, as well as problems with time management, planning and personal organisation.These difficulties may also affect an adult's education or employment experiences.

When and how is DCD identified?

Though formal identification of DCD rarely occurs prior to a child's 5th birthday, parents and teachers may notice that a very young child has co-ordination difficulties or delays in motor development when compared with peers.

As soon as a child is old enough to be diagnosed, a paediatrician or occupational therapist can assess the child through observation and an evaluation of the child's motor performance via standardized parent questionnaires and tests.

Multiple sources of information should be used when assessing a child for DCD. These will be collated from parents, teachers and the child/young person. In addition, formal testing is often carried out by a health professional (e.g. Occupational or Physiotherapist) and confirmed by a medical practitioner.

A diagnosis is made when there are significant motor difficulties that are not due to a visual impairment, neurological disorder or other medical condition.

How might DCD affect my child at home?

Your child's movements may generally appear awkward. S/he may have difficulties with some or all of the following:

Self-care (e.g. washing, toileting, dressing - doing up buttons, tying shoe laces, putting clothes on the right way around).

Physical play and sports especially in playing team games, including ball skills.

Handwriting and drawing.

Using tools (e.g. a toothbrush, cutlery, scissors).

Doing crafts and playing with construction toys.

Some children may also experience:

Social difficulties (e.g. difficulty in groups especially maintaining friendships).

Emotional difficulties (e.g. low self-esteem).

DCD may exist with other conditions (such as ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia and Specific Language Impairment). In these cases, the child may have a complex profile and a range of difficulties.

Who should I talk to if I think there is a problem?

GP: In the first instance you should discuss any concerns about your child's development with his/her GP for advice regarding further assessment and support.

Teacher: Discuss concerns that you have about your child with his/her class teacher, to establish if they are having difficulties outside of the home environment. Discuss your child's strengths and how to build on these to support your child's development.

SENCo: Discuss specific strategies (e.g. recording information in class, inclusive approaches for PE; assistance with planning and organisation).

Local support groups: Who will provide support for children with DCD and their families.

Local community sports facilities (e.g. judo clubs, swimming classes): Talk to coaches about your child's needs.

Transition teams: Plan ahead with school staff for transitions at school and into employment.

What can I do to help my child?

There is much that you can do to help your child at home.

In order for your child to succeed, you will need to support his/her learning and encourage him/her to participate in activities.

Make adjustments at home to encourage greater independence and participation (e.g. elasticated shoes, trousers, easier fastenings on clothes, strategies for organisation and time management).

Provide opportunities for regular practice of activities and exercises by involving your child in everyday activities such as cooking (mixing, spreading), household chores (folding clothes, putting away cutlery, mopping the floor) and simple games (catching a ball, hop scotch).

As your child practices and improves, gradually increase the demands of the task (e.g. catching a smaller ball, cutting around more complex shapes).

Let your child choose activities that they particularly enjoy or wish to try.

Praise your child for effort, as well as achievement.

Celebrate successes and attribute them to your child's hard work and effort.

Try to make sure your child practices meaningful, 'functional' tasks that s/he will come across in everyday life e.g. decorating biscuits with icing rather than meaningless finger exercises.

Use your child's interests as a focus for motivation (e.g. cutting out newspaper pictures of their favourite sport).

Encourage practice at every opportunity. 'Little and often' is best for learning - ten minutes every day rather than one long session each week.

Try to ensure that your child practices movement skills in a variety of different ways so that they can generalise to new situations (e.g. different activities for ball skills: throwing and catching with different size balls of different weights, with the child in different positions).

Break down tasks into smaller units to be learned; make sure that your child knows what they are working towards and what the end goal looks like (e.g. the different components in learning to tie a shoelace).

Support your child when they are learning a task (e.g. hold their coat as they do up the zip but gradually reduce this support as they become more confident and start to succeed on their own).

Encourage the use of 'thinking skills' (cognitive strategies) such as goal setting, self monitoring, problem-solving activities e.g. ask your child to say what aspect of the task they need to focus on to be successful (throw the ball higher/harder to get it in the net).

What might health and educational professionals offer?

Levels of intervention will be determined by the specific needs of your child and the impact this has on his/her everyday activities at home, school and in play.

The type of intervention will be informed by the individual needs of your child, agreed goals and the research evidence. Intervention may include school based activities and/or parent/teacher information sessions, Physiotherapy or Occupational Therapy in a group or individual setting.

Where else can I go for information?
www.movementmatters.org.uk Click here to download this leaflet.

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This leaflet was produced through a consensus process led by Movement Matters, which involved relevant stakeholders and organisations from across the UK. Developmental Co-ordination Disorder (DCD), also known as Dyspraxia in the UK, is a common disorder affecting fine or gross motor co-ordination in children and adults.

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Ideas for physical activities and exercise

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Ideas for physical activities and exercise

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Dyspraxia Foundation Physical Activity Sheet for Children

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Activities to help with movement and coordination

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Activities to help with movement and coordination

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Activities to help with movement and coordination

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Specifically for parents with a child aged 5-16 with a diagnosis of ASD  from Northumberland CYPS or a Northumberland Paediatrician

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Psychological Services Leaflet for Parents and Carers

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Northumberland County Council Local Offer

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Northumberland County Council Local Offer

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What is the SEND Local Offer?

The Local Offer provides information for children and young people with special educational needs (SEND) and their parents or carers in a single place. It shows families what they can expect from a range of local agencies including education, health and social care.

See below for SEND Updates for Parents and carers

Click here to view the SEND Update Issue 1, September 2020
Click here to view the SEND Update Issue 2, November 2020

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Northumberland County Council - Northumberland Local Offer SEND 0 to 25 years

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The Local Offer provides information for children and young people with special educational needs (SEND) and their parents or carers in a single place. It shows families what they can expect from a range of local agencies including education, health and social care.

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A charity based at Earth Balance who offer workshops, support and advice for those with those families with children with ASD

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The Toby Henderson Trust Siblings support group

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The Toby Henderson Trust Siblings support group

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At Sibling Superstars, Children aged 6- 16 years can meet other children with similar experiences, enjoy activities and talk about the good and not so good parts about having a sibling with autism.
We meet once a month on a Tuesday from 5.00pm- 6.30pm
There will be a small charge per session. Places are limited and must be booked in advance. To book a place, email Lynda at lynda.richardson@ttht.co.uk

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Siblings Social Support Group | The Toby Henderson Trust

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At Sibling Superstars, Children aged 6- 16 years can meet other children with similar experiences, enjoy activities and talk about the good and not so good parts about having a sibling with autism. We meet once a month on a Tuesday from 5.00pm- 6.30pm There will be a small charge per session.

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At Sibling Superstars, Children aged 6- 16 years can meet other children with similar experiences, enjoy activities and talk about the good and not so good parts about having a sibling with autism.
We meet once a month on a Tuesday from 5.00pm- 6.30pm
There will be a small charge per session. Places are limited and must be booked in advance. To book a place, email Lynda at lynda.richardson@ttht.co.uk

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Siblings Social Support Group | The Toby Henderson Trust

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
At Sibling Superstars, Children aged 6- 16 years can meet other children with similar experiences, enjoy activities and talk about the good and not so good parts about having a sibling with autism. We meet once a month on a Tuesday from 5.00pm- 6.30pm There will be a small charge per session.

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Skip to main content

His sleep is frequently disrupted because his brother Arlo needs help at night.

NEW RESOURCES - Sibs Talk Lite

Sibs Talk Lite is a new set of FREE resources for primary and secondary schools to support siblings who are growing up with a brother or sister who is disabled, has special educational needs (SEND) or a serious long-term health condition.

Sibs Christmas cards now on sale!

Buy a pack of our beautifully designed Christmas cards and help support our work with siblings of disabled people.

NEW - Sibling group leader training, 2nd February 2024

Do you want to run group support for young siblings? This online session will give you all the information you need to plan, set up, run and evaluate your own local group

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Sibs is the UK charity for people who grow up with a disabled brother or sister.

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5 ways to support siblings of children with SEND

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5 ways to support siblings of children with SEND

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When Sophie Kleinhandler was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder at 8, one thing that meant a lot to her was the support of her sister Rachel.

"My older sister started worrying about me," Sophie recalled, "and she told me something really special. There's a song called 'Lean on Me,' and she said, 'Sophie, now that you have OCD I want you to lean on me when you're upset and you can't handle anything.'"

Rachel was a big help to Sophie, but Sophie's OCD was hard on Rachel, too.

Sophie would get very upset if she was touched without warning. If someone brushed against her clothing, she had to immediately take it off and wash it. She had an aversion to commonplace sounds like breathing, yawning, sniffing, or kissing. Certain words set her off as well.

For Rachel, Sophie's outbursts could be embarrassing. She didn't know how to explain her sister's behavior to her friends. It was also hard to concentrate on her homework or enjoy family vacations when her sister was slamming doors or melting down. Her parents spent a disproportionate amount of time on her sister, taking her to appointments and visiting when she was in a treatment center. And, of course, Rachel worried a lot about Sophie.

Siblings struggle too

"Rachel struggled emotionally," said Kleinhandler. "She held a lot in. Her intense worries and fears about Sophie took a toll emotionally and academically. She's very bright, but she went into a shell and really had a very difficult time sharing and expressing her emotions." By the time Rachel was 16, Kleinhandler decided she needed professional help, too.

Dr. Jill Emanuele, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, believes that more attention needs to be placed on how mental illness impacts the other children in a family. She points to the fact that when a child gets a physical illness like cancer, there are an abundance of support groups and therapeutic options for the siblings. With mental illness there are a lot less, despite the fact that psychiatric problems are far more common.

Related: Siblings Under Stress

When one child in a family has problems that consume a lot of attention, restrict family activities, or generate a lot of concern, other kids in the family may react very differently. "Some kids take care of themselves and persuade themselves that they don't need attention," said Dr. Emanuele. "Some start acting out and finding ways to get attention that might be negative. Some become big helpers and try to fix the problem for their parents. Some try to be extra good and avoid getting in the way. Some get angry."

Hungry for attention

The most immediate challenge for many siblings is that when mental illnesses arise, parents have to spend more time focusing on the child with issues. "The siblings aren't given as much attention, and they may not understand why," said Dr. Emanuele. 'Why are Mom and Dad always worrying about Peter? Why aren't they paying attention to me? What did I do?' "

Having to compete for parental attention can lead to resentment towards the parents or the sibling soaking up the attention. Even a protective and supportive sibling can get frustrated, and feel unable or unwilling to complain.

That's why Kleinhandler was proud of Rachel for finally articulating what she needed when she started applying for college. "We had a family conversation and she said, 'I'm a person too, and this junior year is stressful beyond belief, and it's hard, and I need Mommy-I need her help, I need her attention.' "

Here are five steps you can take to help children handle the challenges that come with having a sibling with special needs.

1. Talk openly about the situation

Dr. Emanuele says It's essential for parents to clearly explain what is going on to siblings and answer questions they may have. "Some siblings may not fully understand what is happening with their brother or sister. They may feel guilty about it, that they somehow caused it. Or they may feel like they aren't as important as their brother or sister because they don't get as much attention."

It's essential for parents to listen to concerns the other children may have, and reassure them that you love them. "Let them know, 'I hear you, I see you,' " she added.

Parents don't have to use formal jargon like ADHD or autism or OCD. But they need to describe the behavior that kids might find concerning, and make it clear that it isn't willful. Kleinhandler found it helpful to explain to her daughters that the disease was just like a bully pressuring their sister to do things she wouldn't otherwise.

Speaking in terms of strengths and weaknesses is often helpful, suggests David Anderson, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. "One sibling might have difficulties with emotional dysregulation"-getting emotional or melting down when things don't go his way, he said. "But another might not be too good at basketball. So maybe your brother gives you a few extra shots in basketball, and he might need some slack because he has difficulty staying calm when you're playing board games."

It works for parents, he adds, because it avoids targeting the kid with special needs.

2. Spread the support around

When you have a child with special needs who needs a great deal of support and encouragement, the other children may feel that their achievements are taken for granted, they not getting as much praise as the struggling child.

So it's important, as Dr. Anderson puts it, to "spread the sunshine around." If you're, say, really trying to reinforce one sibling's behavior, instead of ignoring another sibling's bid for attention, look for something very soon afterwards that's positive about what that sibling is doing, and give him the same level of positive reinforcement."

3. Set aside time for the each child

All kids, especially those who have a brother or sister who takes a lot of attention, need one-on-one time with parents. It can be challenging to fit in, but even small amounts of time, on a regular basis, can help a child feel loved and valued, explains Mandi Sliverman, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.

"Parents have to remember to give every sibling attention," noted Dr. Silverman, ""It may not be equal, but it has to be meaningful and consistent." She suggests spending 10 uninterrupted minutes with each child before he or she goes to sleep, reading or coloring or doing a puzzle together.

Liza Long, who has 5 children, including one with bipolar disorder, sets aside time for each of her children to have dates with her. They get to choose what they want to do, and it's something they look forward to. "I try to plan dedicated time with each of the kids because so much of our attention will go to my son with mental illness," Long said. "You have to be really sensitive to that."

4. Try to treat all children the same

Dr. Emanuele says she sometimes sees parents who have a child with special needs worrying that their other children aren't getting a "normal" upbringing. They feel guilty and as a result they may let them get away with bad behavior or have whatever they want.

"Sometimes parents will be permissive with the other kids because they feel bad," she said. "But these children still need to learn to be responsible for their decisions and their negative behavior, and that can't slide."

5. Look at the positive

Keep in mind that growing up with a special needs sibling teaches valuable skills and empathy, notes Dr. Silverman. "Sometimes children who have siblings with special needs have a level of compassion that makes them especially good friends, and they have a lot of friends, because they are patient and positive and understanding."

Long said her kids are unusually empathetic to kids who are struggling with emotional or behavioral issues.

"The experience has made them much more tolerant and kind, and they are more sensitive to mental illness," said Long. "My daughter, the youngest, came home from school the other day, and she said, 'I sat with the bully at lunch time. I decided to sit next to him, and we talked, and he has ADHD, and that's why he is a bully. He doesn't want to be one.' "

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5 Ways to Support Siblings in Special Needs Families

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When Sophie Kleinhandler was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder at 8, one thing that meant a lot to her was the support of her sister Rachel. "My older sister started worrying about me," Sophie recalled, "and she told me something really special.

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Here you will find strategies we use in the classroom for all children to enable them to achieve as well as additional strategies for children with differing SEN

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Ideas and activities to support under 5s at home