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Although the quote is good, they could have elaborated more on the quote

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Could've elaborated better and could have a quote that connects to the essay.

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They could've elaborated more on the quote and explained why its important.

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the quote doesnt really connect to the rest of the essay.

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the quote doesnt really connect to the rest of the essay.

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Could've elaborated more on the issues people of color faced and what the quote really meant.

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It had a good topic sentence and they connected it back todays society.

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They should of elaborated more on what that quote means , the quote does not really sum up the essay , it just leaves the reader on a cliffhanger

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Good topic sentence, it connects to todays society which can make the reader to more research in general it's probably a standard conclusion, it shows the claim being restated nicely

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Great topic sentence, also mentions about society today.

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could've elaborated more on racism

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has a good connection to now

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I feel like perhaps they should had explained the quote or picked another quote because I feel like the quote they pick was one that would need elaboration.
There was also a grammar mistake so they may wanna check over the conclusion a little more.

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she did state her cliam and had good evidence

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the reader is kind of left wanting more after the quote, the quote doesn't really connect to the progressive era.

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Nicely restated the claim.

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It has a great topic sentence and it summarizes the main idea about what their essay was about

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good topic sentence and they connected it back to society today which was good.

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elsborations don't do much and fall flat

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elsborations don't do much and fall flat

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it was kinda choppy she did like try to grasp it but like she went from on topic to another and that was kinda confusing.

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Good Supporting Facts to help state the claim made in the intro

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it was too much information and it was confusing to read

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it was too much information and it was confusing to read

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The word choice would differ throughout the paragraph. At one point the person would use the word abominable and then used the word bad. The word choice could be developed.

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she has good imformation

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Needs more explanation in the topic sentence. And background to the sentence

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The paragraph had short sentences that didn't go off topic and where direct, so the entire paragraph got the message across.

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Their topic sentence was really short and didn't really give back round information, the whole paragraph was mostly evidence and the elaboration.

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The evidence supports the reasoning. It also is very detailed

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They didn't have an explanation for their topic sentence.

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Their evidence was good since it related to the topic and supported the claim.

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The topic sentence was short and it didn't really explain what the paragraph was going to be about.

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Their evidence is good because it relates to the topic

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Their evidence was good, detailed and it said what it needed it to say. It was straight forward and got to the point

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The explanation was short and with no depth. The second sentence was basically non existent since it right away jumped on to the quote. I think they should had elaborated on the topic sentence some more.

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The topic sentence was too short , they did not really inform the reader what their essay is going to be about

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The evidence within the paragraph was good because it related to the topic and was supporting the claim.

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The topic sentence and elaborations were short, and didn't really expand on the topic.

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The topic sentence was short and didn't really explain what the paragraph was going to be about or provide any background.

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there was good evidence that supported the claim

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The writer had goof evidence to prove their staement.

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the information is jumbled around, and it's it's hard to follow

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the information is jumbled around, and it's it's hard to follow

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There is too much information in the introduction, the introduction could be a bit more general. Theres too many minor details.

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It isn't clear on what is the thesis, there are different major issues so it's difficult to understand and should be more general.

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There isn't a clear thesis. Without a clear thesis we can't tell what the topics are easily/the purpose of the essay. I feel like if I were to put a theme on it i'd say try being more clear overall.

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I think that the grabber is good because it lets whoever is reading this an idea of how they lived before. It makes the reader interested and they would probably want to read more.

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The grabber is decent and they elaborate on how poor people couldn't own an apartment, also added in other major issues like working conditions, women and child labor.

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The grabber is good, it lets the reader sort of get a more clearer image of the topic. It does the job of hooking the reader.

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I think the grabber is okay, it allows the reader to connect/apply themselves to the essay in order to make them interested/hooked on the essay.

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Had a good hook that made the reader want to read more.

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Had a good hook that made the reader want to read more.

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the general topic of the essay isn't clear, is it workers rights or immigrant rights? There's maybe a little to much details about each subtopic.

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they described what the essay was going to be about clearly. Good transitions. The grabber makes you want to read more.

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i fell like there was to 'explain the topic sentence' like the person went straight into text evidence