# data[].attributes.body
Lead: I think The lead was not very interesting, and did not catch my attention.
Details:
Organization:
Closing:

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hot
goosebumps by jack
goosebumps by jack
lead was weak not a good closing 
it was in order and had a
 it was in order and had a lead that hoocd me and I was fasanate
I think the hook could have been better in all.I think organization was really good and all.
I think the hook could have been better in all.I think organization was really good and all.
Sariah goosebumps
Sariah  goosebumps
I think she should add more to the lead.
Brody P. goosebumps
Brody P. goosebumps 
I thought it tough it tough you a lesson 
she added good details I think but it wasn't the right moment 
goosebumps
goosebumps
good

Alex
Alex 
Goosebumps: that was kind creepy. 
Anders.S
Anders.S
I Found  it!: The lead really hooked me up! Why, well they really gave me a question, "WHAT DID SHE FIND!?!" But, then the story did not interest me, She needed a better closing to this.

Marshmallow: 1-10 for the lead 3 for me because that did not even hook me up, All it did was make it even boring, and the detail! Too much on the lead, I mostly like talking back and forth!

Goosebumps: The story was really good but it kept on saying actions and and someone said. For an example "Mom said." and "The room got silence."
brody goosebump d
brody goosebump d
good hook  good eding
Sahithi (Marshmallow)
Sahithi (Marshmallow)
Lead: I think think the lead was not very exiting, and it did not grab my attention.
Details: The author had many details, but I think There could be a few more.
Organization: I think Everything was in order and everything sense
Closing
liam goosebumps:
liam  goosebumps:
that was a suprise
A sad beginning but I wan
 A sad beginning but I want to know more
Aditi (marshmallow
Aditi (marshmallow
I liked her lead because  she added a lot of details.

brody d
brody d

i think the hoke is bade

I liked her and closing because she aded alote
I liked her  and closing because she aded alote 
Sariah Marshmellow
Sariah Marshmellow
Its a good story but i think they should get rid of some of the talking     its a little to much talking,also i think she should add more details to the lead.
Alex
Alex
Marshmallow: that was saaaaddddd! The lead needs a little tweaking. i had the same experience. 
brody d
brody d 
Brody P. Marshmallow
Brody P. Marshmallow
I was good she added details but i don`t think she had a boring lead and i don`t think she should of called her mom.
Liam marshmallow:
Liam marshmallow:
A sad beginning but I want to know more
need MORE info marshmellow
need MORE info marshmellow
jck m

marshmallow
marshmallow 
need a lead  
: j
 : j
just the right amount of
 just the right amount of details. her work was super organized it was indent
ke, i need more details!
 ke, i need more details!
Liam
Liam
I found it:
That was a strong lead it totally got me hook
found it: That was a str
  found it:
That was a strong lead it totally got me hook
Empty
Empty
Vide
JACK
 JACK
Aditi(found it
Aditi(found it
I like her leading and the closing but  she did not add a lot of details .
Sahithi (I...found it)
Sahithi (I...found it)
Lead: The writer caught my attention, and made me wonder what the writer might have found.
Details: The writer added a lot of juicy details that made me interested.
Organization: I think the author did a good job on organization because everything was in order.
Closing: I think that the author did not really end the story well, and it did not sound like the story was ending.
jack m
jack m
I ... Found it

I think that it should have a better ending
Addy (Marshmellow)
Addy (Marshmellow)
It was really goodbut she taled 
Brody P. l...found it !!!
Brody P.      l...found it !!!
I was really good I like how it said ¨I put my mind back on the self repeating words over and over she over exaggerated 
Sariah I...Found it
Sariah   I...Found it
I think he/she needs to add a little more details because they repeted details.
Kelbi
Kelbi
I found it:   i love her hook. She added just the right amount of details. her work was super organized it was indented and in paragraphs. But they did not really have the closing that i was expecting it just ended but i think this could have Ben a really good piece.


Marshmallow: she does not really have a hook it just started with nothing to hook me in. she added details that aren't just i am sad like tear stung my face. her piece was very organized she had indents and paragraph. and i love ,love,loved  her ending.



goose bumps: she does not have a very good hook . she has detail but they are very week details. her work is not super organized. and a week closing.
Gunnar ( I found it )
Gunnar ( I found it ) 
i liked it a little because it was just a shell and just ONE and it was repeated it over and over again and could of added more to it and where is the happiness to the story and it needed paragraph 



Ellie
Ellie
you shod ed  waer you wer


I think that she shod ckang the beging because it did not sanb so good.

she shod ad moer deetells

Lily
Lily
I think that they could have used more sensory details and maybe could have focused on there closing.Something that I liked was that it was put into paragraphs.

Marshmallow:I think that they could have made  her lead  have more details and she could have made there not be as much talking back and forth.

Goosebumps:I think that they  have  put more details and made her lead better but over all I thought is wasa really good story.
jack
jack
I found it
the lead was okay but the story was repeated and did,nt tell how he felt the ending could have been better
Katelyn I found it,Marshmello and Goose bumps
Katelyn I found it,Marshmello and Goose bumps
Closing:   I liked the lead and the closing but the closing could of had a better end without just saying i showed him and added a little more to it
Lead:I think the lead was good but it could of had a little more sensory details in it and not just repeat some details that she  put in

Marsh Mello:
Organization:I think she/He  had a good Organazation and had a good structure of he/she
writing piece

Lead: I think the lead was not that strong and she/he could  of added more sensory details in the lead

Goose Bumps:
I think she did a good job on hooking us with the title that is why i wanted to read it .

Polina
Polina 
I found it:
i like the details but there is not a lot of details.Also the lead is okay i like it as a lead except it is not that exiting and interesting writing about  a shell.Also i kinda dis liked the part were he was saying i liked it so much and stuff over and over again.I liked the part when she said "i gave them a why are you not amused type of look".

Marshmallow:
i think the lead is kinda bad because it did not get my attention.But all the details were really good and i loved the story.and i think they should have added less dialog because i kinda wanted to hear her talking about her feelings MORE.

Goosebumps:
i don't think she should have written a story about PJ's because it is not that interesting  and not that special.but i think the details were really good. 
Ella Addison Galleger
Ella Addison  Galleger
The closing  was of.it did not  rilly come  to sa close
I...Fond  It!!!
it was a sad story    but  to much taking.
Marshmellow
To much taking
Goosebum
Alex
Alex
i fond it: what dose the shell look like, i need more details!
Akshita
Akshita
Weird but fun
Mark Hawkins
Mark Hawkins
I . . .FOUND it! ! !:it was ok
dit was in order and had a lead that hoocd me and I was fasanated
_________________________________
Marsh mellow         
it was in order butI think it could ues a better lead
_________________________________
Goose bumps
it was in order and could ues a stronger lead
Addy (I found it)
Addy (I found it)
Lead:The lead was really strong and it gave me ideas and thoughts came straight to my mind.
Details:They repeated details over and over again
Organization:They did not put it that organized they put it all over.
Closing:God but it was not so interesting.
Capri Orginazation
Capri Orginazation
I like how he organized the  the stor
Emma
Emma
 Felix:i think we need to know a little more about who this she is like it could be his mom or grandma and also i think that he needs some spelling corrections like her he spelled it here.
Ashley
Ashley
Felix:the closing was just saying what should I name him.He also said to much back and forth like she said I said

Mrs. H: So, it sounds like they had too much dialogue back and forth! 
Brendan
Brendan 
I found it: I think the lead is good but they could add a little more to it,I think the details are good she/he gives us a lot of details and I like it,I think they could add more to the closing and add how she and her brother felt.
Marshmellow: I think She/he could add more deatails in the begining and more details to her/his story.
Goosebumps: I think they could add better details in the lead and he/she could add more details,there is not a lot especial in the lead.



Akshita
Akshita
It need to add more sensory details 
brady
brady
you can some more info like i think he is the one and he was some thing like that maybe he needs help on the spelling 
Akshita
Akshita
1.The place :
It had an engaging lead And a lot of sensory details in the middle and a lesson ending.
Good Job!



Emma
Emma
The Place: I wish the let the reader know more about what they where on  because it was hard to here what they where on she did not say alt about it.what i like about it is that it staded on topic.
Capri Closing
Capri Closing
I like how they talked about that the cat and him were in a way having a connection. My feed back for him is that he should talk about him and the cat staring at each other because his mom cut him off an the boy did not get a chance to show his mother.
jackson felix
jackson felix
needs to work on spelling
and a beter ending and be more pusific but I like your punktowashon
Austin
Austin
I think they should have added what happens with the cat after he buys it.
Ashley
Ashley
The place:they did very good on keeping it a small moment. And maybe instead of saying their name a million times they could have said she/he a couple times 
Jordan
Jordan
I like how when thay went over something

Elina
Elina
The place =
I liked how she only focused one thing not like the whole day.  I also liked how he put some details like  I reminded my sself that every one is a winner.Th lead and the closing were strong so are the details and organization.

 Felix = 
Some feeback I would give is  that add more details and more feeling to the story because if you did it would make it a great story!! 


Oviyaa
Oviyaa
The place
B-I love that you said that you filings
M-maybe you add more info like when we where going we heat this big thing
E-your end was the best I love the part where you said that every body  wins.
-------------------------------------------------------
Felix
B-I love that you said that it was a warm day.
M-like It did not grab my attention.
E-what is the main idea.
-----------------------------------------------------
The trials of the Bathroom Breakim
B-we did not care about the lime
M-no main idea
E-NO PUCHUWATION  
Sloane
Sloane
The Place
- I like their lead about how the heart pumped and their thoughts
-They gave me good details about how they felt like they sweated buckets and buckets of sweat
-It is pretty organized and has enednting except it is not on lines so a little hard to read
-I really like the ending and how they said everyone is a winner.

Felix 
- The lead is okay but does not grab attention includes  good detail's 
- The Details are good but I felt like he was saying "I said" And "She said"  a little to much
-Organization is good includes lines and neat hand writing as well as endenting
- His ending was my least favorite I think he could have focused on the moment more.

  
 
more_vert
Aiden
Aiden
                  The Place
I liked how there  lead was entertaining to me,the details I liked the 123 part it was cool.The organisation was nice and neat sorted in paragraphs.There ending wanted me to read more and to see what is going  to happen. 
                           Felix
I got it but it just did not really make scene and how he had some misspelled words.His details were not as strong as THE PLACE details but it still has some,It was kin dove organized but not really.The closing did not really hook me as much.
                     

                                    
brady
brady
 the place  i like how they shard how he felt BEFORE the race and how he said every one is a winner he also did  deep thoughts like deep thoughts
Elise:I think she could add more details to the text and more feeling.
Elise:I think she could add more details to the text and more feeling.
Elise:I think he needs to have a beter ending. And to add more feeling.




gage
gage
The place
I liked that you said your heart started beating.but you needed to say where you were and why you raced.

Felix:
-Good job that you added good details and that you said it was a warm sunny day but you needed to describe what it looks like
Ainsley
Ainsley
THE PLACE: I liked how included deep thoughts and how they said "every one is a winner". they included lots of details and they even had paragraphs they had lots of thoughts on there writing.

FELIX:
I think next time you should do a better ending and add paragraphs 
and there no extra details. and it just went back and forth but the lead was good.
 
Narratives By: Reid
Narratives By: Reid
The place: We are focusing on the details because I like that when they said the heart beating thing and how they were saying all those details in the middle and end. Also I liked the organization when they did every thing after they hit the root and got back up and started sledding again.



Felix: We are focusing on the the lead because you don't need to say it was a warm sunny day and you don't need to say a couple days before Easter and then go of the idea.




JACKSON the place
JACKSON the place
WY would she be sweating in snow
and ceep the words organized 
and punktowashon and spelling
but I like the imagonashon you used
Austin
Austin
I thick they shouldent have aided so many details because it gets overwhelming.
Lucas
Lucas 
The lace: I think that it was not necessary to say I sweated 5 buckets and on and on.

Felix: does not tell enough detail

the trails of bathroom break in is:     terrible!!!!!
Capri Details
Capri Details
I noticed that they were very descriptive of hat they were doing and how they did it.I also noticed that they counted to three and they told the reader what they were going to do but not in a ovias way.I also like how they told how she felt but from the point of her and I lso like how she showed how she was thinking.
Sarah
Sarah
The place 
- Good job on the good details but I think yo

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lead was weak not a good closing

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it was in order and had a lead that hoocd me and I was fasanate

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I think the hook could have been better in all.I think organization was really good and all.

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I think the hook could have been better in all.I think organization was really good and all.

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I think she should add more to the lead.

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I thought it tough it tough you a lesson
she added good details I think but it wasn't the right moment

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good

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Goosebumps: that was kind creepy.

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good hook good eding

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Lead: I think think the lead was not very exiting, and it did not grab my attention.
Details: The author had many details, but I think There could be a few more.
Organization: I think Everything was in order and everything made sense.
Closing: The closing was really good, and it sounded just like a real story.

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that was a suprise

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I liked her lead because  she added a lot of details.

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i think the hoke is bade

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It was really goodbut she taled

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I liked her  and closing because she aded alote 

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I liked her  and closing because she aded alote 

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need a lead

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Its a good story but i think they should get rid of some of the talking its a little to much talking,also i think she should add more details to the lead.

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Marshmallow: that was saaaaddddd! The lead needs a little tweaking. i had the same experience.

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jck m

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I was good she added details but i don`t think she had a boring lead and i don`t think she should of called her mom.

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A sad beginning but I want to know more

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just the right amount of details. her work was super organized it was indent

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 found it:
That was a strong lead it totally got me hook

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I like her leading and the closing but  she did not add a lot of details .

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I found it:
That was a strong lead it totally got me hook

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Lead:The lead was really strong and it gave me ideas and thoughts came straight to my mind.
Details:They repeated details over and over again
Organization:They did not put it that organized they put it all over.
Closing:God but it was not so interesting.

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Lead: The writer caught my attention, and made me wonder what the writer might have found.
Details: The writer added a lot of juicy details that made me interested.
Organization: I think the author did a good job on organization because everything was in order.
Closing: I think that the author did not really end the story well, and it did not sound like the story was ending.

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i liked it a little because it was just a shell and just ONE and it was repeated it over and over again and could of added more to it and where is the happiness to the story and it needed paragraph

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you shod ed  waer you wer

I think that she shod ckang the beging because it did not sanb so good.

she shod ad moer deetells

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I ... Found it

I think that it should have a better ending

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I found it:   i love her hook. She added just the right amount of details. her work was super organized it was indented and in paragraphs. But they did not really have the closing that i was expecting it just ended but i think this could have Ben a really good piece.

Marshmallow: she does not really have a hook it just started with nothing to hook me in. she added details that aren't just i am sad like tear stung my face. her piece was very organized she had indents and paragraph. and i love ,love,loved  her ending.

goose bumps: she does not have a very good hook . she has detail but they are very week details. her work is not super organized. and a week closing.

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I think he/she needs to add a little more details because they repeted details.

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I was really good I like how it said ¨I put my mind back on the self repeating words over and over she over exaggerated

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I think that they could have used more sensory details and maybe could have focused on there closing.Something that I liked was that it was put into paragraphs.

Marshmallow:I think that they could have made  her lead  have more details and she could have made there not be as much talking back and forth.

Goosebumps:I think that they  have put more details and made her lead better but over all I thought is wasa really good story.

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I found it
the lead was okay but the story was repeated and did,nt tell how he felt the ending could have been better

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Katelyn I found it,Marshmello and Goose bumps

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Katelyn I found it,Marshmello and Goose bumps

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Closing:   I liked the lead and the closing but the closing could of had a better end without just saying i showed him and added a little more to it
Lead:I think the lead was good but it could of had a little more sensory details in it and not just repeat some details that she  put in

Marsh Mello:
Organization:I think she/He  had a good Organazation and had a good structure of he/she
writing piece

Lead: I think the lead was not that strong and she/he could  of added more sensory details in the lead

Goose Bumps:
I think she did a good job on hooking us with the title that is why i wanted to read it .

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I Found  it!: The lead really hooked me up! Why, well they really gave me a question, "WHAT DID SHE FIND!?!" But, then the story did not interest me, She needed a better closing to this.

Marshmallow: 1-10 for the lead 3 for me because that did not even hook me up, All it did was make it even boring, and the detail! Too much on the lead, I mostly like talking back and forth!

Goosebumps: The story was really good but it kept on saying actions and and someone said. For an example "Mom said." and "The room got silence."

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I found it:
i like the details but there is not a lot of details.Also the lead is okay i like it as a lead except it is not that exiting and interesting writing about  a shell.Also i kinda dis liked the part were he was saying i liked it so much and stuff over and over again.I liked the part when she said "i gave them a why are you not amused type of look".

Marshmallow:
i think the lead is kinda bad because it did not get my attention.But all the details were really good and i loved the story.and i think they should have added less dialog because i kinda wanted to hear her talking about her feelings MORE.

Goosebumps:
i don't think she should have written a story about PJ's because it is not that interesting  and not that special.but i think the details were really good.

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The closing  was of.it did not  rilly come  to sa close
I...Fond  It!!!
it was a sad story    but  to much taking.
Marshmellow
To much taking
Goosebum

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I . . .FOUND it! ! !:it was ok
d it was in order and had a lead that hoocd me and I was fasanated
_________________________________
Marsh mellow
it was in order butI think it could ues a better lead
_________________________________
Goose bumps
it was in order and could ues a stronger lead

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i fond it: what dose the shell look like, i need more details!

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I found it: I think the lead is good but they could add a little more to it,I think the details are good she/he gives us a lot of details and I like it,I think they could add more to the closing and add how she and her brother felt.
Marshmellow: I think She/he could add more deatails in the begining and more details to her/his story.
Goosebumps: I think they could add better details in the lead and he/she could add more details,there is not a lot especial in the lead.

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Weird but fun

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I like how he organized the the stor

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It need to add more sensory details

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Felix:the closing was just saying what should I name him.He also said to much back and forth like she said I said

Mrs. H: So, it sounds like they had too much dialogue back and forth!

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Felix:i think we need to know a little more about who this she is like it could be his mom or grandma and also i think that he needs some spelling corrections like her he spelled it here.

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you can some more info like i think he is the one and he was some thing like that maybe he needs help on the spelling

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needs to work on spelling
and a beter ending and be more pusific but I like your punktowashon

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I think they should have added what happens with the cat after he buys it.

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I like how they talked about that the cat and him were in a way having a connection. My feed back for him is that he should talk about him and the cat staring at each other because his mom cut him off an the boy did not get a chance to show his mother.

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I like how when thay went over something

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The Place: I wish the let the reader know more about what they where on  because it was hard to here what they where on she did not say alt about it.what i like about it is that it staded on topic.

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The place =
I liked how she only focused one thing not like the whole day.  I also liked how he put some details like  I reminded my sself that every one is a winner.Th lead and the closing were strong so are the details and organization.

Felix =
Some feeback I would give is  that add more details and more feeling to the story because if you did it would make it a great story!!

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The Place
- I like their lead about how the heart pumped and their thoughts
-They gave me good details about how they felt like they sweated buckets and buckets of sweat
-It is pretty organized and has enednting except it is not on lines so a little hard to read
-I really like the ending and how they said everyone is a winner.

Felix
- The lead is okay but does not grab attention includes  good detail's
- The Details are good but I felt like he was saying "I said" And "She said"  a little to much
-Organization is good includes lines and neat hand writing as well as endenting
- His ending was my least favorite I think he could have focused on the moment more.

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The place:they did very good on keeping it a small moment. And maybe instead of saying their name a million times they could have said she/he a couple times

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The Place
I liked how there  lead was entertaining to me,the details I liked the 123 part it was cool.The organisation was nice and neat sorted in paragraphs.There ending wanted me to read more and to see what is going  to happen.
Felix
I got it but it just did not really make scene and how he had some misspelled words.His details were not as strong as THE PLACE details but it still has some,It was kin dove organized but not really.The closing did not really hook me as much.

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the place  i like how they shard how he felt BEFORE the race and how he said every one is a winner he also did  deep thoughts like deep thoughts

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Elise:I think she could add more details to the text and more feeling.

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Elise:I think she could add more details to the text and more feeling.

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Elise:I think he needs to have a beter ending. And to add more feeling.

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The place
I liked that you said your heart started beating.but you needed to say where you were and why you raced.

Felix:
-Good job that you added good details and that you said it was a warm sunny day but you needed to describe what it looks like

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The place
B-I love that you said that you filings
M-maybe you add more info like when we where going we heat this big thing
E-your end was the best I love the part where you said that every body  wins.
-------------------------------------------------------
Felix
B-I love that you said that it was a warm day.
M-like It did not grab my attention.
E-what is the main idea.
-----------------------------------------------------
The trials of the Bathroom Breakim
B-we did not care about the lime
M-no main idea
E-NO PUCHUWATION

# data[].attributes.body
THE PLACE: I liked how included deep thoughts and how they said "every one is a winner". they included lots of details and they even had paragraphs they had lots of thoughts on there writing.

FELIX:
I think next time you should do a better ending and add paragraphs
and there no extra details. and it just went back and forth but the lead was good.

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The place: We are focusing on the details because I like that when they said the heart beating thing and how they were saying all those details in the middle and end. Also I liked the organization when they did every thing after they hit the root and got back up and started sledding again.

Felix: We are focusing on the the lead because you don't need to say it was a warm sunny day and you don't need to say a couple days before Easter and then go of the idea.

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The place
- Good job on the good details but I think you could of added how you felt before you remembered everyone so a winner.Also explane  how it felt with snow in your fingers.

Felix

- Add more details about the cat and where is your ending
-make the words neater and make more sense
- how did you feel about the cat
-lead did not hook me
- what is the main idea

The trils of the bathroom brack ins
- was not intoresting
- too muc

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WY would she be sweating in snow
and ceep the words organized
and punktowashon and spelling
but I like the imagonashon you used

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1.The place :
It had an engaging lead And a lot of sensory details in the middle and a lesson ending.
Good Job!

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The lace: I think that it was not necessary to say I sweated 5 buckets and on and on.

Felix: does not tell enough detail

the trails of bathroom break in is: terrible!!!!!

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I thick they shouldent have aided so many details because it gets overwhelming.

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I noticed that they were very descriptive of hat they were doing and how they did it.I also noticed that they counted to three and they told the reader what they were going to do but not in a ovias way.I also like how they told how she felt but from the point of her and I lso like how she showed how she was thinking.