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The class started by addressing a question, "Are you illegal ?".The first thought that came into my mind was, "since I am an international student, I think I am legal". I realized after a pause the intention of the question is not to answer the question, but to question the question, "What is illegal?".After reading the exert from "Dear America", the class started to open up their stories of immigration. I realized how oblivious I was about another individual. I was surprised at how ignorant I was. The class then transitioned to defining America.

Defining America was an interesting chapter in the class. On one part I could address the mishaps in America, while on the other, I could address the boons in America. For me, this was an opportunity to establish my relationship with America. I enjoyed the part of American history, where the real intention of an act was celebrated. The original intention was not the true intention as portrayed in modern society. Then I was allowed to address black live head on.

Black lives matter. The class ascended to the understanding of the past. Understanding Slavery was the main theme of this chapter. Even though the dark age of physical slavery was abolished, I was intrigued by the question is the present condition any different from the former? The seminar in the convention center gave a wide perspective of the safe space community. It was not just a word, it is an understanding of a safe space. In the part of defining the freedom to education, I became expressive. For me, this topic was very personal because I had a lot of pent up thoughts about the education system. It never delivered what it promised. This was an ah-ha moment for me because I understood myself in a better manner.

In the last chapter, I was allowed to choose my topic, I chose to write about mothers in prison. I chose this topic because a mother has to give birth to another human being. I was occupied by the question of how are they treated in a place like a prison? This chapter made me empathize more about a mother's story. In general,

I found myself to question more and more. I found myself to question better and better. I found myself to be more expressive towards my opinions towards any subject of interest. All in all, I enjoyed the class, and it made me better than I was.

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Black lives matter

I am not black, I am not white, and I am not even American. So what bring me in this drama of clashes ? I have come from a different country. So this gives me an outer perspective towards what is happening in America.In baltimore, I found the majority of population to be people of color. I noticed division in lives. Blacks are not all American blacks, some are immigrants blacks, whites are not all American whites some are immigrant whites ,and  browns are not all american brown some are immigrants brown. But every group is treated differently. Blacks are not treated the same as brown and white and the vice versa. I noticed that among all the groups, black people are mistreated intellectually, socially, emotionally and economically. My curiosity rose when I was under the influence of this biases. I think the misrepresentation of media content played a role in designing this perspective and of the mass. After joining Eng 101 class, I found myself introduced to the source. *The truth that is hidden, the truth that is grim.*

Black people are mistreated intellectually. EDUCATION, SAFE SPACE, EDUCATIONAL FREEDOM

Black people are abused socially.COMMUNITY SPACE, ENVIRONMENTAL SPACE, WHITE L AND BLACK BUTTERFLY.

Black people are mauled emotionally.LGBTQ , LIVING CONDITIONS, #METOO, PRISON LIFE

Black people are roughed up economically.FINANCE, LIVING CONDITIONS, EQUITY ELSA,WHITE L AND BLACK BUTTERFLY.

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Cullors takes us to her early childhood. She takes us back when she was a little girl with her family. It starts with her identity. She is a labeled as a bright student with the enthusiasm to read a book and give a presentation on it.The challenge starts when she enters the middle school. She is labeled as an average girl, she is identified first with her color and status. Living in a poor community she faces inadequate environment to learn. Even though her mother did her best to support Cullors, the environment was just not right for her. She bring an account of his brother when they were harassed by police officers, who had sworn to protect their citizens. Despite her unconditioned environment, she graduates from the school. To me cullors ability to understand her brother is a very strong quality. She understood her situation and accepted things she could not change at her age. The second part comes when she encounters her father for the first time. It is naturally awkward to be welcomed by a stranger whom you have to address as your dad. To me it seems like a figment of a story. It must have been very challenging to accept a person as her father, especially how he went to rehab center. To be a part of a family which she never knew. For her she was raised in one family and now she had to be a part of another family. It must have been troublesome. But despite this awkwardness, she appreciated her new family. I was interested in the part when she observed her father give a speech in front of the church giving gratitude towards his family for not discarding him. She saw a man cry in public for the first time, and it was her father. I think his image gave cullor the voice to speak herself and express herself. What grabbed my attention was her father and brother’s attention and understanding towards cullor.When cullor was visiting her new family every saturday, she knew instead of spending time with her brother and sister she spend time with her new father. To make her feel uncomfortable her brother soothed her by saying no matter what you are our family.The similar encounter occurred when her mother's husband expressed his love for having her as his daughter. Surprised by their love I think this is what cullor identifies as her true strength, her love from her family. One encounter during her high school is very disturbing , when she was handcuffed in front of the class. Middle school is the time of fluctuation. This is the time when everyone struggle to find identities and most importantly think what everybody is thinking about them.At this stage having her handcuffed is a very devastating experience. This traumatises everyone, but this is when she ulifts herself and carries on with life.

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1:“The moment I landed on los angeles airport I expected to see people .. who looked like people I watched in oscars...The america I first encountered at the airport was a polyphonic culture that looked and sounded like a bigger world. ”(vargas,7)

I can imagine the writers perspective of the cultural shock he faced. I can relate it with my experience of first encounter with America. Coincidentally, Los Angeles airport was my port of entry. For a person who has never been to an airport , to fly across countries , to come to the land of dreams. It was very overwhelming. Although in my case i could speak and understand the “English” taught in the school, The english in actual practice was very different. My internal thoughts were,” This is so big. What can I do?”. I remember looking above the plane over los angeles , it was beautiful super highways, thousands of cars , systematic housing , trees . When i landed it was a different story. I thought I would meet people like i saw on Tv, but it was not so. The american portrayed and the real america was very still very far from me.

2:”White was not a country,neither was black...Are people asians and hispanics because americans started labeling people black and white ?did america make all of this up ?.. where do you go if you are multiracial and multiethnic? (vargas,19) ”

It is interesting to see how the author came to this questioning. Did the racial differences originated from the identity of an individual race? Was it all made up to protect an identity? If not what is the basis of that identity? And what if you have multiple identity ? to me it was a very simple curiosity. Something closer to what is actually happening.

3: But my family is from the other Mountain View….This is the other silicon valley, where american dreams rests on the outdated and byzantine immigration system that requires families to wait years if not decades to be reunited with their loved ones.(vargas,28)

I liked the analogy the writer used to show silicon valley. On one side it is the booming name of technology , entrepreneur, success , the american dream. But the other side has a different story. Immigrants living in a cramped space, minimum wages, labour works. The immigration system has an outdated operating system.

4:”I will never forget the day of the O.J simpson verdict. .. most of my classmates had an opinion about what he did and why he did it...when simpson was acquitted,.. It was the first time i saw race physically divide people.black students cheered the outcome, white students jeered it, and latino and asians students looked at each other, wondering which side to join.” (vargas,19)

This was a very distinct moment, when the author was aware of the racial difference. Everyone had an opinion, which was obviously influenced by the family. Everyone had speculations of why he did. He was a criminal . He was innocent. The truth is nobody knows. To see that in a public school, a group cheers for the same results , the other group is sad about it, and others are puzzled. It is leading to an identity crisis.

America has racial differences.

America

5:”once i had a job, lola said i would find a woman who has a us citizenship to marry … I told mama on the phone ,’I am not doing it.’”(vargas,36)

To me it show reality. It show how to be “legal”. Marry a girl with us citizenship. It makes me wonder how immigration system can affect life choices of an individual. The choice for the author was to get a decent job so you can attract a woman with us citizenship to get married. This way a relationship can be used to say ,” Hi ! I am american now.” . Was i any different before ?

America has a harsh citizenship process. Earned a citizenship .

6:”What i couldn’t tell my family was i did not want to marry a woman to ’get legal’ and become a ‘citizen’ because i am gay.”(vargas,39)

This is a strong stand of the author when he accepted himself as a gay. The identity crisis he had to face. Asian or pacific islander, american not american and gay or straight. I noticed him getting layered with identity. One is he is asian, second he is an illegal immigrant and third he is a gay. Looking his journey of finding his identity , made me question is it his identity or did he had to take these identity to adapt ?