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Teaching Social Emotional Skills Practical Strategies for the Classroom

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Teaching Social Emotional Skills Practical Strategies for the Classroom

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The Pyramid Model is comprised of practices that are implemented by teachers and families.  On this site are ideas, resources, and illustrations of strategies that might be used to implement Pyramid Model practices and promote young children’s social and emotional competence in a classroom setting.

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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Scripted Stories for Social Situations help children understand social interactions, situations, expectations, social cues, the script of unfamiliar activities, and/or social rules. As the title implies, they are brief descriptive stories that provide information regarding a social situation. When children are given information that helps them understand the expectations of a situation, their problem behavior within that situation is reduced or minimized.
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These easy-to-use guides were created especially for teachers/caregivers and parents to provide hands-on ways to embed social emotional skill building activities into everyday routines. Each book nook is comprised of ideas and activities designed around popular children's books such as Big Al, Hands are Not for Hitting, On Monday When it Rained and My Many Colored Days. Examples of suggested activities include using rhymes to talk about being friends, making emotion masks to help children identify and talk about different feelings, playing games around what to do with hands instead of hitting and fun music and movement activities to express emotions.

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Practical Strategies - National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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The Pyramid Model is comprised of practices that are implemented by teachers and families. Below are ideas, resources, and illustrations of strategies that might be used to implement Pyramid Model practices and promote young children's social and emotional competence in a classroom setting. Teaching Social-Emotional Skills Social-emotional skills can be categorized into four types: behavior ...

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This Routine Based Support Guide was developed to assist

teachers in problem-solving a plan to support young children

who are having challenging behavior.

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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These modules provide the types and content of training that would be most useful in addressing the social-emotional needs of young children. These modules have been used nationally to provide training on Pyramid Model practices within various settings. Each module package includes a presentation script, slides, videos, activity descriptions, and handouts.
Note: Some offices block the ability of users to download .ZIP files on work computers. If you are having trouble downloading the files, check with your IT department to make sure you have permission or use a personal device.
NCPMI Training Modules
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Promoting Social and Emotional Competence of Infants and Toddlers

These modules provide training content on the Pyramid Model practices for promoting the social and emotional competence of infants and toddlers in an early childhood classroom.
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Promoting Social and Emotional Competence in the Preschool Classroom

These modules provide the training content for implementing the preschool Pyramid Model practices within classrooms for young children ages 2-5 years.
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Parent Training Modules: Positive Solutions for Families
NCPMI has updated and expanded the Positive Solutions for Families Parent Group Materials that were originally developed by the Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL). Positive Solutions for Families provides an evidence-based, user-friendly workshop series of seven sessions to help professionals working with parents and family caregivers to promote positive and effective parenting behaviors, which will, in turn, promote children's social and emotional development and address the challenging behavior of children ages 2-5 years.

Sessions topics include:
(1) Making the Connection (2) Keeping it Positive (3) Behavior has Meaning (4) The Power of Routines (5) Teach Me What to Do (6) Responding with Purpose (7) Putting it All Together with a Plan, a Family Handbook, Family Materials, Facilitator's Guide, and Presentation Materials.

Other Modules

Parents Interacting with Infants and Toddlers (PIWI)

PIWI has been successfully used in community-based, early head start and early intervention programs with a diverse range of parents and children. While the primary focus of the module will be on parent child groups, the training materials also provides guidance on the use of the model in home visiting. These training materials provide the professional with guidance on how to support a parent or other caregiver as they interact with the infant or toddler. The following link will take you to the Pyramid Model Consortium website.

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Modules and Kits Trainers - National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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These modules provide the types and content of training that would be most useful in addressing the social-emotional needs of young children. These modules have been used nationally to provide training on Pyramid Model practices within various settings. Each module package includes a presentation script, slides, videos, activity descriptions, and handouts.

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Children's Social Competence - Checklist 

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Children's Social Competence - Checklist 

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Social competence refers to a person's ability to get along with others. The checklist below was created to help teachers and caregivers assess preschool children's social competence. The intent of the checklist is not to prescribe correct social behavior but rather to help teachers observe, understand, and support children whose social skills are still forming. If a child seems to have most of the traits in the checklist, she is not likely to need special help to outgrow occasional difficulties; however, a child who shows few of the traits on the list might benefit from adult-initiated strategies to help build more satisfying relationships with others.

I. Individual Traits. The child:

Is usually in a positive mood.

Usually comes to the program willingly.

Usually copes with rebuffs or other disappointments adequately.

Shows interest in others.

Shows the capacity to empathize.

Displays the capacity for humor.

Does not seem to be acutely lonely.

II. Social Skills. The child usually:

Interacts nonverbally with other children with smiles, waves, nods, etc.

Expects a positive response when approaching others.

Expresses wishes and preferences clearly; gives reasons for actions and positions.

Asserts own rights and needs appropriately.

Is not easily intimidated by bullying.

Expresses frustrations & anger effectively, without escalating disagreements or harming others.

Gains access to ongoing groups at play and work.

Enters ongoing discussion on a topic; makes relevant contributions to ongoing activities.

Takes turns fairly easily.

Has positive relationships with one or two peers; shows the capacity to really care about them and miss them if they are absent.

Has "give-and-take" exchanges of information, feedback, or materials with others.

Negotiates and compromises with others appropriately.

Is able to maintain friendship with one or more peers, even after disagreements.

Does not draw inappropriate attention to self.

Accepts and enjoys peers and adults who have special needs.

Accepts and enjoys peers and adults who belong to ethnic groups other than his or her own.

III. Peer Relationships. The child:

Is usually accepted versus neglected or rejected by other children.

Is usually respected rather than feared or avoided by other children.

Is sometimes invited by other children to join them in play, friendship, and work.

Is named by other children as someone they are friends with or like to play and work with.

IV. Adult Relationships. The child:

Is not excessively dependent on adults.

Shows appropriate response to new adults, as opposed to extreme fearfulness or indiscriminate approach.

Adapted from Assessing Young Children's Social Competence by Diane E. McClellan and Lilian G. Katz. Champaign, IL: ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education.

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Children's Social Competence Checklist | Illinois Early Learning Project

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Social competence refers to a person's ability to get along with others. The checklist below was created to help teachers and caregivers assess preschool children's social competence. The intent of the checklist is not to prescribe correct social behavior but rather to help teachers observe, understand, and support children whose social skills are still forming.

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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The goals of the National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations (NCPMI) are to assist states and programs in their implementation of sustainable systems for the implementation of the Pyramid Model for Supporting Social Emotional Competence in Infants and Young Children (Pyramid Model) within early intervention and early education programs with a focus on promoting the social, emotional, and behavioral outcomes of young children birth to five, reducing the use of inappropriate discipline practices, promoting family engagement, using data for decision-making, integrating early childhood and infant mental health consultation and fostering inclusion. s

Resource Spotlight

Children's book list

Includes diverse examples of books that can be used to promote social-emotional skills.

Get Training

Supporting implementation of the Pyramid Model with fidelity.

Conference

National Training Institute on Effective Practices: Addressing Challenging Behavior

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Have a question? Want to give us feedback? Contact Us

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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The goals of the National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations (NCPMI) are to assist states and programs in their implementation of sustainable systems for the implementation of the Pyramid Model for Supporting Social Emotional Competence in Infants and Young Children (Pyramid Model) within early intervention and early education programs with a focus on promoting the ...

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Pyramid Model Practices Implementation Checklist for Preschool Classrooms 

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Pyramid Model Practices Implementation Checklist for Preschool Classrooms 

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This is a tool to be used by practitioners to identify training and/or classroom implementation needs in seven areas: Responsive Relationships; Predictable Daily Schedules; Creating Effective Classroom Routines; Teaching Behavior Expectations across Classroom Routines; Teaching Social and Emotional Skills; Systematic Instructional Strategies; and Function-Based Assessment and Intervention Planning. The checklist encourages individual self-reflection and discussion between classroom teachers and practitioner coaches.

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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The Pyramid Model Implementation Checklist is a tool designed to be used by practitioners to identify training and/or classroom implementation needs in seven areas: Responsive Relationships; Predictable Daily Schedules; Creating Effective Classroom Routines; Teaching Behavior Expectations across Classroom Routines; Teaching Social and Emotional Skills; Systematic Instructional Strategies; and Function-Based Assessment and Intervention Planning. The checklist encourages individual self-reflection and discussion between classroom teachers and practitioner coaches.

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Pyramid Model Practices Implementation Checklist - National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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The Pyramid Model Implementation Checklist is a tool designed to be used by practitioners to identify training and/or classroom implementation needs in seven areas: Responsive Relationships; Predictable Daily Schedules; Creating Effective Classroom Routines; Teaching Behavior Expectations across Classroom Routines; Teaching Social and Emotional Skills; Systematic Instructional Strategies; and Function-Based Assessment and Intervention Planning.

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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What is the Pyramid Model?

The Pyramid Model is a framework of evidence-based practices for promoting young children's healthy social and emotional development.

Who uses the Pyramid Model?

The Pyramid Model provides guidance for:

early childhood special education personnel

early intervention personnel

early educators

families

other professionals

Who created the Pyramid Model?

The Pyramid Model was developed by two national, federally-funded research and training centers: The Center for the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL) and Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention for Youth Children (TACSEI). These centers' faculty represent nationally recognized researchers and program developers in the areas of social skills and challenging behavior.

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Basics - National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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The Pyramid Model for Promoting Social-Emotional Competence in Infants and Young Children(Pyramid Model) NCPMI's role in the Pyramid Model It is our goal to provide states with the technical assistance and training to establish the systems and policies needed to adopt and sustain the implementation of the Pyramid Model.

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"You Got It" - Teaching Social Emotional Skills 

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"You Got It" - Teaching Social Emotional Skills 

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Scripted Story - Tucker Turtle (English) 

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Scripted Story - Tucker Turtle (English) 

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Scripted Story - Tucker Turtle (Spanish) 

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Scripted Story - Tucker Turtle (Spanish) 

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Cooperation in the Preschool Classroom: Class Discussions | Illinois Early Learning Project

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Class discussions can teach children respect for others, communication skills, how to interact with peers and adults, and how to vote.

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Connecting with Parents: "But She/He  Doesn't Do That at Home"

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Connecting with Parents: "But She/He  Doesn't Do That at Home"

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Connecting with Parents: "But He Doesn't Do That at Home!" | Illinois Early Learning Project

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Linda bites her classmates. Nate's rude talk upsets everybody. But the parents seem stunned when you tell them you would like to find ways to help their child get along better at school. "That doesn't sound like our child!" they exclaim. "We've never seen that behavior!"

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Resources for IELDS Social/Emotional  Development Benchmarks 

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Resources for IELDS Social/Emotional  Development Benchmarks 

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Social/Emotional Development | Illinois Early Learning Project

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The domain of Social/Emotional Development includes Preschool Benchmarks in: Self-Management Skills, Social Awareness and Interpersonal Skills, and Decision-making Skills and Responsible Behaviors…

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Positive Solutions for Families (English)

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Positive Solutions for Families (English)

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Positive Solutions for Families (Spanish) 

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Positive Solutions for Families (Spanish) 

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Positive Solutions for Families - Family Routine Guide (English) 

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Positive Solutions for Families - Family Routine Guide (English) 

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This Family Routine Guide can assist parents and caregivers in developing a plan to support young children who are using

challenging behavior.

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Positive Solutions for Families - Family Routine Guide (Spanish) 

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Positive Solutions for Families - Family Routine Guide (Spanish) 

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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You searched for family routine guide spanish - National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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Promoting the Social-Emotional Development of Infants and Young Children

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Teaching Your Child to Identify and Express Emotions (English) 

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Teaching Your Child to Identify and Express Emotions (English) 

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Teaching Your Child to Identify and Express Emotions (Spanish) 

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Teaching Your Child to Identify and Express Emotions (Spanish) 

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Teaching Your Child to Become Independent with Daily Routines

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Teaching Your Child to Become Independent with Daily Routines

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Teaching Your Child to Cooperate with Requests (English)

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Teaching Your Child to Cooperate with Requests (English)

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Teaching Your Child to Cooperate with Requests (Spanish) 

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Teaching Your Child to Cooperate with Requests (Spanish) 

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations - Resource Library

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations - Resource Library

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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Resource Library - National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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Program Wide Implementation of the Pyramid Model 

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Program Wide Implementation of the Pyramid Model 

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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Program-wide implementation of the Pyramid Model refers to a systemic effort within a program for Pyramid Model implementation fidelity. In program-wide implementation, a leadership team guides the implementation process and develops the supports and infrastructure needed to ensure that implementation of the Pyramid Model can occur within the classrooms and services provided to children and their families. The Leadership Team, with representation from program administrators and practitioners, is focused on the ongoing process of supporting the implementation of the Pyramid Model and using data-based decision-making to guide implementation efforts and monitor outcomes. Program-wide implementation might also be called Program-Wide Positive Behavior Intervention and Support (PW-PBIS), Early Childhood Positive Behavior Support (EC-PBS) or a Multi-Tiered Systems of Support (MTSS) to address social, emotional, and behavioral needs (see this fact sheet on PBIS and the Pyramid Model for more information about terminology).

The program-wide implementation model ensures that programs are attending to both the implementation of evidence-based practices and the development of the infrastructure to support the durable implementation of those practices. Programs that have used this approach have experienced the following:

Reductions in child challenging behavior

Increases in children's social skills

Increased satisfaction of program staff and families

Reduced turnover in the program

Increases in teachers competence and confidence in the support of children

Changes in classroom and program climate

Sustained implementation of the Pyramid Model

Now let's take a closer look at the components of program-wide implementation.

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Overview - National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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Program-wide implementation of the Pyramid Model refers to a systemic effort within a program for Pyramid Model implementation fidelity. In program-wide implementation, a leadership team guides the implementation process and develops the supports and infrastructure needed to ensure that implementation of the Pyramid Model can occur within the classrooms and services provided to children and [...]

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Family Engagement - Teaching Social Emotional Skills at Home 

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Family Engagement - Teaching Social Emotional Skills at Home 

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This website contains information on Family Engagement, Teaching Social Emotional Skills at Home, Building Family-Child and Teacher-Family Relationships, Handouts for Families (multiple languages), and other related resources.

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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At every tier of the Pyramid Model, practitioners and programs should consider what strategies might be used to welcome and support diverse families; how to create opportunities to learn from families; strategies for partnering with families to promote child outcomes; and providing the supports and services that families might need to promote their child's skill development.
(Fox & Swett, 2017, p. 86).

Fox, L. & Swett, J. (2017). Implementing partnerships with families to promote the social and emotional competence of young children. In Weist, M. D. Weist, S.A. Garbacz, K. L. Lane, & D. Kincaid, D. (Eds), Aligning and integrating family engagement in Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS): Concepts and strategies for families and schools in key contexts (pp. 84-97). Center for Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (funded by the Office of Special Education Programs, U.S. Department of Education). Eugene, Oregon: University of Oregon Press. https://www.pbis.org/Common/Cms/files/pbisresources/Family%20Engagement%20in%20PBIS.pdf

Guidance on Family Engagement

On May 5, 2016, the U.S. Departments of Education (ED) and Health and Human Services (HHS) issued a statement on the implementation of effective family engagement practices from the early years to the early grades. This statement offers a review of research, legal requirement, and best practices related to family engagement. Included in the statement are recommendations and resources for states and programs.
ED-HHS Policy Statement on Family Engagement: From the Early Years to the Early Grades
Executive Summary
ECTA Family Engagement Broadcast Series

We strongly recommend that you find the time to explore the importance of family engagement and the development of trusting partnerships with families by viewing this four-part web broadcast hosted by the ECTA Center in partnership with the DaSY Center, Ann Turnbull, and Rud Turnbull.
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Teaching Social-Emotional Skills at Home

Social-emotional skills can be categorized into four types: behavior regulation, friendship skills, emotional literacy, and problem-solving skills.

Scripted Stories for Social Situations are short PowerPoint presentations consisting of a mixture of words and pictures that provide specific information to a child about social situations such as going to preschool, sitting in circle time, staying safe and using words. When children are given information that helps them understand expectations, their problem behavior within that situation is reduced or minimized. These stories provide examples of how scripted stories are worded and illustrated for a child. Teachers and families should modify the story to be meaningful for the child they are supporting and the unique context of the social situation.
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Building Relationships

Family Handout Collections

The Backpack Connection Series was created by TACSEI to provide a way for teachers and parents/caregivers to work together to help young children develop social emotional skills and reduce challenging behavior. Teachers may choose to send a handout home in each child's backpack when a new strategy or skill is introduced to the class. Each Backpack Connection handout provides information that helps parents stay informed about what their child is learning at school and specific ideas on how to use the strategy or skill at home. This series was developed in collaboration with Pyramid Plus: The Colorado Center for Social Emotional Competence and Inclusion and Bal Swan Children's Center in Broomfield, Colorado.

The Backpack Connection Series includes handouts in four categories: Addressing Behavior, Emotions, Routines and Schedules, and Social Skills.

Other Languages

Looking for Backpack Connection or other Family Materials in Spanish or Chinese? Our resources have been translated. Click below to explore additional materials on cainclusion.org.

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Family Engagement - National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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At every tier of the Pyramid Model, practitioners and programs should consider what strategies might be used to welcome and support diverse families; how to create opportunities to learn from families; strategies for partnering with families to promote child outcomes; and providing the supports and services that families might need to promote their child's skill ...

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Encouragement can help children feel good about themselves and develop self-confidence. Praise can be overdone and cause children to be overly dependent on adult approval. Helpful words show appreciation and excitement without sounding like empty praise. Encouraging words invite children to recognize that they are responsible for their efforts. Here are some tips on encouraging your child.

Tell your child you love her and appreciate her efforts. Provide her with encouragement about specific actions and skills. Instead of saying, "What a good girl you are," try saying, "You put your book back on the shelf." She will see her action as helpful.

Pay attention to the things that your child gets right. For example, if he usually pushes to the front of the line but remembers to wait this time, you might say, "I'm glad you remembered to wait to go down the slide when you saw Jason get to the ladder first," along with a smile or a hug.

Use words to help your child become aware of her own approach to problems. "I noticed Maria wanted to play a different game than you did, so you suggested playing her choice and then playing yours. You looked like you were having fun together."

Notice your child's effort and give feedback.

Support your child's good intentions. Rather than saying, "What a beautiful card! You're a great artist!" try saying, "Daddy will really like the get well card you made."

Invite your child to talk about her efforts. "You spent a lot of time working on Daddy's card. Would you tell me about it?"

Give nonverbal feedback. A smile, a wink, or a high-five tells your child that you noticed his efforts.

Avoid compliments that insult your child or others.

Use supportive and encouraging statements. Saying, "You actually remembered to put your coat away for once" is not encouraging. Say, "Thank you for putting your coat away."

Avoid insulting others while encouraging a child. Saying, "You are a much better helper than your brother" may cause competition and resentment. Say, "How kind of you to carry grandma's bag for her."

Encouragement is nonjudgmental.

Encouraging words point out specific facts but are not evaluative. "You used a lot of blue paint to cover the sky in your painting."

Encouraging words build on a child's inner drive to learn. Your child learns that his self-motivation leads to new skills. Say, "Watching you practice zipping your coat tells me you are excited to learn how to zip."

Children and adults feel good when statements are sincerely spoken: "I love you." "I enjoy your silly jokes." "I'm so glad you're my child."

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Encouraging Words | Illinois Early Learning Project

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Encouragement can help children feel good about themselves and develop self-confidence.

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Helping Children Develop "Impulse Control" 

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Helping Children Develop "Impulse Control" 

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Excitement, joy, anger, frustration, and disappointment are all part of growing up. Learning how and when to show these emotions is known as impulse control. Here are some facts about impulse control:

Impulse control helps children make and keep friends.

Children who can control their anger and frustration, and use words to express their feelings, are likely to be able to make and keep friends. And making and keeping friends can boost self-esteem and later school success.

Early experiences can contribute to later success with impulse control.

Infants need a responsive and predictable environment. When you respond to their physical needs with love and care, they learn to expect order in their world. They also learn that their actions affect others.

Toddlers need to feel independent and capable.You can help them use their developing language skills to label their own and others' actions. Learning to describe actions, thoughts, and feelings with words is key to having good impulse control.

Older preschool children learn to control their impulses by taking turns or sharing their toys. They are increasingly able to use language to control their emotions and interact with others.

You can encourage the development of impulse control in your 3-, 4-, and 5-year-olds in the following ways:

Suggest words that your child can use to say how she feels. If your child gets mad while playing a game, encourage her to use words to show her anger, such as "That really makes me mad!" or "I don't like it when you play the game that way!"

Make it clear that hurting others is not allowed. When your child gets mad playing a game and pushes or hits another child, take him aside and remind him that hurting others is not allowed.

Help your child think of new ways to solve problems. When your child has a disagreement with another child, suggest solutions such as taking turns or sharing.

Respond to your child's misbehavior with words. When you tell your child the reasons behind rules and explain the consequences for misbehavior, you help her develop inner controls on her behavior.

Model self-control when dealing with stress or frustration. Your child learns many behaviors from observing you. When you model self-discipline and self-control in difficult situations, your child will learn to follow your example.

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Helping Children Develop "Impulse Control" | Illinois Early Learning Project

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Excitement, joy, anger, frustration, and disappointment are all part of growing up. Learning how and when to show these emotions is known as impulse control. Here are some facts about impulse control: Children who can control their anger and frustration, and use words to express their feelings, are likely to be able to make and keep friends.

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Helping Children Handle Disappointment | Illinois Early Learning Project

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Helping children handle disappointments can provide them with lifelong coping skills.

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Helping Children Learn to Get Along | Illinois Early Learning Project

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Model the kind and empathetic behavior you want the children to practice.

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All children get angry on occasion and may even act aggressively when upset or frustrated. Some children, however, seem to be angry and aggressive much of the time. Conditions at home or at child care, along with a child's temperament, influence a child's level of aggression. Teachers may not be able to change these conditions, but they can help children learn how to respond to their anger.

Observe to understand.

What triggers the child's anger and aggression? Does he get upset during transitions from one activity to the next, when his mother drops him off in the morning, when he is tired or hungry, or when there is a lot of noise and commotion?

Minimize the triggers.

If morning drop-off time is difficult, be available to spend a few extra minutes with the child to help ease her into the day. If transitions are hard, quietly give the child advance notice that the activity will be ending soon and explain what comes next.

State rules clearly, consistently, and matter-of-factly.

Let the child know what you want her to do and don't want her to do. "I don't want you to hit. I don't want anyone to hit you either. Tell Amber you would like a turn on the tricycle, and if that doesn't work, we'll talk about other things to try."

Anticipate problems that are likely to arise.

Position yourself near the child so you can provide quiet reminders about how to behave before tempers rise. If Ben often argues with Jamal over building block structures, follow Ben to the block area and whisper, "Remember to use your words with Jamal. Ask him if you can help build the tower with him."

Break the cycle of attention for misbehavior.

Focus on a child's interests or abilities. If Sharon is interested in drawing or playing ball, plan time to join her in these activities a little each day before any misbehavior occurs. Comment on the child's interest and effort. "Your drawings include a lot of detail!" or "I'm impressed at how far you can throw the ball!"

Notice and applaud progress.

Let the child know when he is having success. "I heard you work things out with Josh in the sandbox today. You asked him to make room for your sandcastle and he did!" An additional hug, smile, or pat on the back can reinforce the good feeling that comes with hard work and success.

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Helping the Often-Angry Child | Illinois Early Learning Project

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All children get angry on occasion and may even act aggressively when upset or frustrated. Some children, however, seem to be angry and aggressive much of the time. Conditions at home or at child care, along with a child's temperament, influence a child's level of aggression.

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Say What You Mean! Talking Straight to Children

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Say What You Mean! Talking Straight to Children

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Sometimes we want to make things go smoothly with our preschoolers-so smoothly that we shy away from telling them clearly what we really mean.

Keep things simple.

Children don't have to like everything that we ask of them. You won't hurt your child by saying what behavior you want, if you are calm, brief, friendly, and straightforward. Do you want your preschooler to stop jumping out of her chair at meal times? Say something like "I want you to sit still" instead of "You need to sit still." After all, she may not really "need" to sit still right at that moment! But you want her to finish breakfast quietly so she can be ready for the next activity of the day.

Express your understanding of how hard it might be for your child to do what you want.

When you insist on behaviors such as sitting still or not touching things, it can help to let your child know that you understand that what you are asking is hard. You can use a friendly but firm tone: "I know you would rather run around." "I can see why it might be fun to touch all Grandma's little flower pots. But they break very easily, so I don't want you to do that."

State clearly what behavior you want and then move on.

Once you've said what you want in a pleasant, clear, and firm tone, change the subject. Later, when the crisis has passed, you might explain in detail why the behavior you asked for was so important. But young children are best served by short and direct indications of what behavior their close adults want. They often "tune out" long explanations.

It is never necessary to be nasty or mean, but it is necessary to be firm.

During their preschool years, most children want to be the kind of people we want them to be, but they often need help learning how to do it. We don't have to be critical, sarcastic, or angry when we insist on the behavior we want. But we do have to be firm and clear. Resist the temptation to promise rewards if the child follows your requests; she should comply because you are responsible for her well-being.

Related IEL Resources

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Say What You Mean! Talking Straight to Children | Illinois Early Learning Project

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Sometimes we want to make things go smoothly with our preschoolers-so smoothly that we shy away from telling them clearly what we really mean. Children don't have to like everything that we ask of them. You won't hurt your child by saying what behavior you want, if you are calm, brief, friendly, and straightforward.

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Knowing how to make and keep friends is an important skill for young children to learn. For preschool and school-age children, friends are fun to have around. They can also be important to success in school! Here are some facts about friendships.

The effect of friendships on school success shows up very early

Young children who know how to form and maintain close friendships tend to:

adjust well to school and do well in classes

have high self-esteem

learn important social skills, such as cooperation and problem solving

The benefits of childhood friendships can have lifelong effects

People who learn at an early age to make and keep close friends tend to engage in fewer risky behaviors as teens and have fewer mental health problems as adults than do those who have no close childhood friends.

Parents can help their child learn how to be a good friend

The best social skills teacher of all can be the example you set in your daily interactions with others. (Actions speak louder than words!) You help your children learn how to make and keep friends when you:

model cooperation and kindness with other people, including neighbors, shopkeepers, and teachers

invite friends over and find times for your child to play with others

talk to your child about what it means to be a "host" and how to look out for another child's needs

help your child learn how to listen to others' ideas

discuss fairness with your child-how to take turns, how to share, and how to solve problems

help your child learn words to express his feelings

discuss the importance of being honest and loyal with friends

discourage hurtful behaviors in your child, and offer other ways to solve problems

talk to your child about being kind and helpful to others

help your child recognize and respond to others' feelings

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Making and Keeping Friends | Illinois Early Learning Project

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Knowing how to make and keep friends is an important skill for young children to learn. For preschool and school-age children, friends are fun to have around. They can also be important to success in school! Here are some facts about friendships.

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Illinois Learning Project - Full List of Tip Sheets

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Illinois Learning Project - Full List of Tip Sheets

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IEL Tip Sheets are easy-to-read, one-page resources on a variety of topics of interest to parents and teachers of young children.

Use the "Printer-friendly PDF" option, available on each Tip Sheet page, to print your own copies.

IEL Newsletter

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Tip Sheets | Illinois Early Learning Project

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
IEL Tip Sheets are easy-to-read, one-page resources on a variety of topics of interest to parents and teachers of young children. Use the "Printer-friendly PDF" option, available on each Tip Sheet page, to print your own copies.

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National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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Overview - National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations

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Data decision-making is a foundational element of the Pyramid Model. State leadership teams use data decision-making when examining statewide implementation components and outcomes for local programs, practitioners, and children. Programs use data decision-making to examine their implementation of the Pyramid Model, practitioner implementation of Pyramid Model practices, and outcomes for families and children. Featured Resources Roadmap to ... Read more

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We define social and emotional learning (SEL) as an integral part of education and human development. SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions.

SEL advances educational equity and excellence through authentic school-family-community partnerships to establish learning environments and experiences that feature trusting and collaborative relationships, rigorous and meaningful curriculum and instruction, and ongoing evaluation. SEL can help address various forms of inequity and empower young people and adults to co-create thriving schools and contribute to safe, healthy, and just communities.

New to Social and Emotional Learning? Start here (2 min. read).

Think of a young person in your life. What skills will they need to achieve their hopes and dreams?

Chances are, you just named social and emotional skills - like staying motivated, communicating effectively, practicing curiosity, and working with others to solve problems. Social and emotional learning, or SEL, helps develop the skills we need for life.
Hear why students, parents, and educators want SEL in schools. Here are 3 things to know about social and emotional learning:

1. Social and emotional learning is a foundation for many of our most pressing priorities: SEL helps young people - and adults - learn and practice skills that set them up for academic success, fulfilling careers, healthy relationships, and responsible civic engagement.

2. The research is clear: Social and emotional learning in schools leads to positive outcomes, including better academic performance, and decreases in stress and anxiety.

3. There's no one-size-fits-all approach: Social and emotional learning brings families, schools, and communities together to make sure every child has caring relationships and what they need to learn, grow, and thrive.

Subscribe now for our expertly curated 3-part email series delivered straight to your inbox. We'll roundup the key facts from our website on SEL is, it matters, and it shows up in schools.

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SEL can help all young people and adults thrive personally and academically, develop and maintain positive relationships, become lifelong learners, and contribute to a more caring, just world.