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Click here to buy your copy of the book Left to their Own Devices?

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"How do I hold a conversation with my fifteen-year-old, whose phone needs to be surgically removed from her hand?" "How do I stop my three-year-old from throwing an 'iPaddy' when screen time is over?"
Fifteen years ago, we didn't need to ask these questions, but today they are very real, and even more so following the COVID-19 pandemic. Parents need answers!

Katharine Hill explores the impact of the digital world on teenagers and younger children, giving up-to-date practical advice on all the important issues. She addresses the impact of everything from screen time, social media, and gaming to more serious issues such as online bullying, grooming and pornography. This third edition, complete with up-to-the-minute research, has been comprehensively revised in the light of the pandemic, offering new content and fresh insight into how we can confront recent technological challenges and changes.

Whether you are cradling a newborn or riding the rollercoaster of the teenage years, a stranger to Snapchat or have two thousand followers on Twitter, this book is for you. Katharine equips mums and dads to not only cope with bringing up children in the age of digital technology but to be on the front foot - confidently parenting in a world of screens.

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Left to Their Own Devices? Confident Parenting in a World of Screens: 3rd edition

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"How do I hold a conversation with my fifteen-year-old, whose phone needs to be surgically removed from her hand?" "How do I stop my three-year-old from throwing an 'iPaddy' when screen time is over?" Fifteen years ago, we didn't need to ask these questions, but today they are very real, and even more so following the COVID-19 pandemic.

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Click here to order your copy of Left to their Own Devices?, the video-based session for parents, schools and communities

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A one-session, group resource to allow parents to gain an understanding of the online world that their children inhabit.

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Here is the information about the CareLine

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CareLine is a confidential telephone and/or email service which can be accessed by all adults in the UK. It provides a listening ear and will offer support or signposting towards other help as appropriate. Contact our Customer Care team Monday to Friday between 9.00 am and 4.30 pm.

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Click here to buy your copy of the Book A Mind of their Own

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Katharine Hill discusses the important ways in which parents can nurture their children's resilience and emotional wellbeing.

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Self-Regulation Station - The First Steps Guide (UK)

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Want to help your children deal with stress and adversity? It's easier than you think

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Early Years Resources: Secure Attachment

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It seems that hardly a week goes by without headlines reporting increasing levels of anxiety among young people, with news of long waiting lists for referrals due to mental ill health.

And if the state of our children's wellbeing was already keeping parents up at night, the disruption to their lives of COVID-19, news of a war in Europe, and an escalating cost-of-living crisis has made things even more challenging for our children.

Our young people are undoubtedly growing up in a world full of pressure, challenge and risk - but it is also a world of opportunity and potential. As parents, we want them to navigate that world with confidence and hope, and a key way in which we can do this is to help build emotional resilience in their lives.

Resilient children tend to be more optimistic and motivated, think more creatively, develop strategies for problem-solving, enjoy good friendships, communicate well and have higher self-esteem. Psychologists used to define emotional resilience as 'the ability to bounce back' and recover from a setback in life, but today, they say that rather than just 'bouncing back', it's also about 'bouncing forward'. In other words, it's about not only getting back to normal after facing difficulty, but learning from the process in order to deal with the next challenge that comes along.

While resilience used to be thought of as a characteristic that you were born with (or not), professionals now view it as a skill that can be learnt. Clinical psychologist Meg Jay likes to describe resilience as a heroic struggle: 'It's really a battle ... an ongoing process that can last for years ... [it's] not a trait. It's not something you're born with. It's not something you just have.' ¹

As parents, we have a wonderful opportunity to teach this important quality to our children right in the everyday ups and downs of family life.

Here are some of my top practical tips:

Don't try to fix everything. Give children a chance to find their own solutions to minor problems and frustrations without immediately rushing in to rescue them. And as long as it's safe, let your child experience the outcome of an action or behaviour. If they forget their sports kit, missing the match will teach them more than you frantically driving across town with it.

Help your child to take responsibility for a setback. When something doesn't work out for them, draw up a pie chart with them and ask them to decide: How much was due to me? How much was due to someone else? How much was simply due to circumstances - for example, not having an essential piece of equipment or being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Remember that important word 'yet'. Reassure your child that not being able to do something now doesn't mean they'll never be able to do it or that they're a failure. When faced with a difficult task we often hear the refrain, 'Mum, Dad, I can't do it!'. Adding one little word can change everything. 'You can't do it ... yet' communicates possibility and the sense that the only thing standing between them and what they want to do is time and practice.

Remind them of past successes. Children can very quickly become discouraged about their ability to do new things, so take time to give them clear examples of where their hard work and patience led to success.

Affirm your child's efforts and good qualities. Don't limit praise to successes or achievements; recognise character and effort. For example, 'You were so kind to that new boy in school/ so brave to stand up for X when they were being bullied.' Or 'I noticed how hard you worked for that exam /persevered with that new game/ kept trying to build that model.' Affirmations for character and effort as well as achievement are important for building their wellbeing and self-esteem.

Talk to your children about your own failures. When we are open about our failures, they learn that it isn't the end of the world and that being an adult doesn't mean you always get everything right.

Remember we are role models in the way we look after our own mental wellbeing. Our children will take their cue from us and it's important to take time to look after our own needs.

Of course, we want to protect our children and want their lives to be as stress-free as possible, but the reality is that they'll experience knocks and setbacks every day. They are unlikely to pass every test, win every match, or succeed in every job interview, and the course of true love never did run smooth. We can't and shouldn't remove all the challenges, but we can help them see challenge and disappointment as part of everyday life, and pass on skills to help them cope with stress and adversity.

Whether it's a seven-year old dealing with the frustration of a difficult LEGO® brick project, a twelve-year old whose much loved guinea pig has died, or a fifteen-year old who has just missed out on the lead part in the school play, emotional resilience is key. It's the lessons our children learn through struggle and disappointment that will be the seedbed for growing that important quality in their lives, and which will set them up for a lifetime of dealing well with whatever challenges are thrown their way.

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Building your child's emotional wellbeing - Care for the Family

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It seems that hardly a week goes by without headlines reporting increasing levels of anxiety among young people, with news of long waiting lists for referrals due to mental ill health.

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Growth Mindset Institute partnering with Prof Carol Dweck

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Prof. Carol Dweck's work on mindsets provides a useful guide for helping parents to raise more adaptive and resilient children. Dweck has spent the past several decades conducting research identifying two distinct ways in which children view intelligence and learning. Children with a "fixed mindset" believe that their intelligence is simply an inborn trait-they have a certain amount, and that's that. In contrast, individuals with a "growth mindset" believe that they can develop their intelligence over time (Blackwell, Trzesniewski, & Dweck, 2007; Dweck, 1999, 2007).

A child's mindset influences how they perceive and respond to their world. In a growth mindset, children understand that challenges and failure framed as learning opportunities can help them to become smarter. Struggling and working on a challenge or setback is good for the brain's neurological growth. Whereas in a fixed mindset children work to look smart, avoid challenges and shy away from taking risks where there is the possibility of failure. This can impact a child's development at school, sport and their relationships.

Much of what we do as parents influences our child's mindset.

Here are three practices you can start trying to assist your child with more of a growth mindset response.

Once we learn about growth mindset we assume we can simply tell our child to have a growth mindset and that's it. As Dweck states "You don't get a growth mindset by proclamation, it's a journey."

We are all a mixture of fixed and growth mindset. Let's face it we all have times when we think we can improve and when we bounce forward after a setback. We also have days when the smallest setback knocks us over and we give up. Working to recognise when your child is having a fixed mindset response and help them name how they feel. When they are calmer, explore what strategies they have tried, how effective they are and what new strategies they could try.

As odd as it may seem, we need to think more about our fixed mindset in order to develop a more persistent growth mindset. Accepting our child's fixed mindset moments and helping them to develop strategies for overcoming them is part of our role. This can take a long time to accomplish and we can be assured that we will have setbacks along the way. Remaining supportive and consistent over time is the key.

Talent Praise verses Effort Praise

When you give your child feedback about how smart or talented they are you send the message that your child has talent in some areas, but not in others. When they struggle to learn something, they view this as not having the talent and won't ever be good at it. Talent praise also makes your child want to demonstrate their talent by doing things that they can do well and avoiding difficult or challenging tasks.

The alternative is to praise the effort and hard work that goes into learning and success. For example:

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Growth mindset parenting a guide to raising adaptive and resilient children

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Parenting can be challenging. We all want our children to be adaptive and resilient at home, in school and in their relationships. Parenting with a growth mindset approach can help bring out the best in our children. This simple guide will get you started.

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Click here to order your copy of A Mind of their Own, the video-based session for parents, schools and communities

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Based on the book by Katharine Hill, A Mind of Their Own is a one-session, group resource to inform, encourage and equip parents and other significant adults to