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Offer and introduce a range of resources that can help build trusting relationships, including the Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges.

Spend some time exploring these or finding others in pairs or small groups.

Share what you are learning. What is helpful and what is challenging?

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Refer to Part two of the Minute again, with an emphasis on the final sentance: "Keep the lines of communication live and vibrant".

We always talk about needing good or better communication. What do we think we mean by this?

a) Good tech skills to use email, zoom, document sharing and storage, websites?

b) lots of papers and documents and reports?

c) good relationships and opportunities for discussions and qusetions?

Consider what is already working well. What can be done better? What is missing - how can that gap be filled? Does a workstream focusing on communication need to be added or strengthened?

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Preparation in advance:

1. Each trustee writes a paragraph about the workstream(s) they are responsible for.

2. Paper plates are created including the name of each work stream and who is involved.

Also needed - a tea light (maybe battery to reduce fire risk)

Read out part two of the minute

Each trustee outlines how their workstream is progressing, and the group spends a few minutes holding that work and those involved in the light.

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A local trustee who has met Rachel Noel led a reflective epilogue comparing trustee work to undoing knots.

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Read out part one of the minute.

Each trustee is given a list of values from Brene Brown, and invited to:

a) circle the main values that resonate for them

b) if they have more than two, to reduce the list down to the top two values

optional - discuss in pairs or small groups why the values you chose are important to you, or how you found the experience of selecting them.

Discuss in the full group examples of how you bring these values into your trustee work.

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These sessions are inspired by Yearly Meeting 2013 Minute 20, which was chosen and read in worship at the September 2025 AGM of Cymar, the single charity in Wales and Southern Marches

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See if you can find the two or three main values shared by the trustee group.

Create a vision statement or strapline that describes how these values are embedded in your trustee work

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Mary, Undoer of Knots – thepinkvicar.com

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Part two

Having bodies of named trustees is therefore not about giving all the power to a small group but making sure that all the difficult work gets done. Nor should we be surprised if mistakes are made, as this is where we as individuals fail as well. Both trustees and meetings need to hold each other in the light and above all to keep the lines of communication live and vibrant.

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Part one

We have continued our consideration of what it means to be a Quaker today by focusing on Quaker Trusteeship. We have been reminded that our spiritual journey is about living in the world and wrestling with the tensions between living out the testimonies and dealing with practical, financial and property matters. The real test of our faith is whether we can connect with the spirit in the mess of our daily lives.

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Part one

We have continued our consideration of what it means to be a Quaker today by focusing on Quaker Trusteeship. We have been reminded that our spiritual journey is about living in the world and wrestling with the tensions between living out the testimonies and dealing with practical, financial and property matters. The real test of our faith is whether we can connect with the spirit in the mess of our daily lives.

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Mary, Untier of Knots - Wikipedia

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Mary, Untier of Knots or Mary, Undoer of Knots or Our Lady, Undoer of Knots is the name of both a Marian devotion and a Baroque painting (German: Wallfahrtsbild or Gnadenbild) which represents that devotion. The painting by Johann Georg Melchior Schmidtner, of around 1700, is in the Catholic pilgrimage church of St. Peter am Perlach, otherwise known as the Perlach Church, in Augsburg, Bavaria, Germany. Devotion to the image had been limited to certain countries in Latin America (e.g., Argentina, Brazil) but became known worldwide since the 2013 election of Pope Francis.

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Part two

Having bodies of named trustees is therefore not about giving all the power to a small group but making sure that all the difficult work gets done. Nor should we be surprised if mistakes are made, as this is where we as individuals fail as well. Both trustees and meetings need to hold each other in the light and above all to keep the lines of communication live and vibrant.

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Part two

Having bodies of named trustees is therefore not about giving all the power to a small group but making sure that all the difficult work gets done. Nor should we be surprised if mistakes are made, as this is where we as individuals fail as well. Both trustees and meetings need to hold each other in the light and above all to keep the lines of communication live and vibrant.

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Part three

We all belong to the same worshipping community, we are all working together and it is the same spirit that leads us. Community is two-way. Trustees need to empower other Friends to ask questions, perhaps by making minutes more readily available, and other Friends need to talk to trustees and ask for information. This openness will in turn support trustees in their work. God has placed trust in us. We need to honour that trust in moving forward together to build the Kingdom.

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https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/

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Living into our values means that we do more than profess our values, we practice them. We walk our talk-we are clear about what we believe and hold important, and we take care that our intentions, words, thoughts, and behaviors align with those beliefs.

This is the list of values that we use in our work. There is also an opportunity for you to write in values that we may not have included. The task is to pick the two that you hold most important. I know this is tough, because almost everyone we've done this work with (including me) wants to pick somewhere between ten and fifteen. I can soften the blow by suggesting that you start by circling those fifteen. But you can't stop until you're down to two core values.

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The daring leaders we've interviewed are never empty-handed in the arena. In addition to rumble skills and tools, they always carry with them clarity of values.

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Yearly Meeting 2013: Minute 20: What it means to be a Quaker today: Trust in Trusteeship

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Part three

We all belong to the same worshipping community, we are all working together and it is the same spirit that leads us. Community is two-way. Trustees need to empower other Friends to ask questions, perhaps by making minutes more readily available, and other Friends need to talk to trustees and ask for information. This openness will in turn support trustees in their work. God has placed trust in us. We need to honour that trust in moving forward together to build the Kingdom.

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Fight/Flight/Freeze

There are many resources on Polyvalal Theory eg https://www.somatopia.com/blog/polyvagal-theory-simplified

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Deb Dana – am I a resource or a threat?  Am I sending a welcome or a warning?

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Deb Dana – am I a resource or a threat?  Am I sending a welcome or a warning?

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Giving service from a regulated grounded place.

I'm a resource if I'm anchored in ventral, if I have enough ventral, alive and active, if my neuroception is one of safety, I'm then a resource for the world around me. If I'm not, I'm a threat. I don't want to be, I may not intend to be, but if I'm dysregulated, I am a threat. So am I sending a welcome or a warning?

https://read.amazon.co.uk/sample/B0CTCF1C94?clientId=share

Free sample available from this online book seller – chapter one of Deb Dana’s book. Whole book available from a range of online book sellers.

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Resmaa Menakem's 5 anchors for staying present and in the body

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Resmaa Menakem's 5 anchors for staying present and in the body

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The 5 anchors are a way to stay with the body when experiencing stress, fear, anxiety or anger.  When recognising the body falling into a fight, flight, freeze, fawn or annihilate response, engaging in the 5 anchors can help you remain flexible and open to the situation at hand.

Anchor 1:  Soothe yourself to quiet your mind, calm your heart, and setting your body.

Anchor 2:  Simply notice the sensations, vibrations, and emotions in your body instead of reacting to them.

Anchor 3:  Accept the discomfort – and notice when it changes – instead of trying to flee from it.

Anchor 4:  Stay present and in your body as you move through the unfolding experience, with all its ambiguity and uncertainty, and respond from the best parts of yourself.

Anchor 5:  Safely discharge any energy that remains.

More detail:

https://episcopalmn.org/sites/default/files/resource/Embodied%20and%20Somatic%20-%20Resmaa%20Menakem%27s%205%20Anchors.pdf

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Trust the people (a spell) – adrienne maree brown (Holding Change page 107)

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Trust the people (a spell) – adrienne maree brown (Holding Change page 107)

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trust the people who move toward you and already feel like home.

trust the people to let you rest.

trust the people to do everything better than you could have imagined.

trust the people and they become trustworthy.

trust that the people are doing their work to trust themselves.

trust that each breach of trust can deepen trust or clarify boundaries.

trust the people who revel in pleasure after hard work.

trust the people who let children teach/ remind us how to emote, be still, and laugh.

trust the people who see and hold your heart.

trust the people who listen to the whales.

trust the people and you will become trustworthy.

trust the people and show them your love.

trust the people.

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Trust the people (a spell) – adrienne maree brown (Holding Change page 107)

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Trust the people (a spell) – adrienne maree brown (Holding Change page 107)

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(Re-written with “trust the Friends…")

trust the Friends who move toward you and already feel like home.

trust the Friends to let you rest.

trust the Friends to do everything better than you could have imagined.

trust the Friends and they become trustworthy.

trust that the Friends are doing their work to trust themselves.

trust that each breach of trust can deepen trust or clarify boundaries.

trust the Friends who revel in pleasure after hard work.

trust the Friends who let children teach/ remind us how to emote, be still, and laugh.

trust the Friends who see and hold your heart.

trust the Friends who listen to the whales.

trust the Friends and you will become trustworthy.

trust the Friends and show them your love.

trust the Friends.

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Holding Change - adrienne maree brown page 99 (boundaries)

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Holding Change - adrienne maree brown page 99 (boundaries)

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"Mediation in my work is often an extension of facilitation, a focusing and deepening of the attention brought to a single relationship, usually inside of a vast network of relationships. If one relationship in a system or network is dysfunctional or vulnerable, it means the whole system has a weak spot. And to strengthen it is not necessarily to mediate people towards friendship or recovery - a strong clear boundary can be the necessary reinforcement."

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For more information see Brene Brown's podcast and shownotes

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For more information see Brene Brown's podcast and shownotes

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https://brenebrown.com/podcast/finding-our-strong-ground-part-1-of-6/

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The values you select from the list are your personal values rather than the ones you think you "should" have as a trustee

If you have more than two values, see if one of the values encompasses and includes some of the others.

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If struggles are highlighted, this is not about judgement but about offering support

Keep an eye on time and move on to the next workstream as needed.

You may discover workstreams that are missing and need to be added, can be combined, or need to be separated.

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Use this session to finish anything essential you didn't have time for, consider next steps, review what went well and something you will be taking away with you.

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Friends have differing capacities to learn and use technical skills.

Friends take in information differently and are not always going to read lots of paperwork.

Just because information is available doesn't mean people will access it. Think of different ways to be more inclusive.

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You may be familiar with other similar resources instead.

Or you may like to invite someone else to facilitate this session who has more experience in this area if it is all new.

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If you need further clarification on any of the above, please contact local.development@quaker.org.uk, with "Trust in Trusteeship session plans" in the subject line.

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The Minute is quoted in the Handbook for Trustees

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The Minute is quoted in the Handbook for Trustees

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See page 11, in the section: The Spiritual Basis of Quaker Trusteeship

https://www.quaker.org.uk/documents/quaker-trustee-handbook

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Cymar
Responsible stewardship
For Friends · By Friends · With Friends
Underpinned by our shared values of integrity and inclusion, and guided by the Spirit.

For more info see:

https://cymar.org.uk/

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Cymdeithas Grefyddol y Cyfeillion(Crynwyr) yng Nghymru a’r Gororau