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"The infant must have basic needs met in a consistent way in order to feel that the world is a trustworthy place." (pg.26)

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During this stage, infants depend entirely on their caregivers to meet their basic needs. When caregivers fulfill these needs, the infant learns to trust them. If caregivers ignore these needs, the infant may start to feel mistrust.

My sister was born when I was five years old. The birth of a sibling can affect trust in young children. If my parents had given me enough attention during this time, it would have helped me feel secure. A new sibling might have made me want more love and attention from my parents. This could have built my trust in the world. But if I felt neglected by my sister's arrival, I might have grown to mistrust others.

I fall into the trust resolution. Knowing my parents, they would have balanced their attention between my sister and me. This would have helped me trust them and feel secure in my world.

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"Mobile toddlers have newfound freedom they like to exercise and by being allowed to do so, they learn some basic independence." (pg.26)

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During this stage, children begin to assert their independence and make choices. If parents and caregivers respond in a supportive manner, the child develops a sense of autonomy, feeling confident in their ability to make decisions and control their actions.

However, if caregivers are harsh when the child makes mistakes, the child may develop shame and doubt about their abilities. They may feel embarrassed about trying to do things on their own.

According to my parents, I was learning to be more independent during this stage. My sister was not born yet, but a new baby sister could have made me feel more grown-up or unsure. If my parents had let me help with things like getting diapers or calming her down, I would have felt proud and important, like I was doing big-kid things. But if they focused only on my baby sister and ignored me, I would have felt like maybe I wasn’t as important anymore, making me doubt if I was important anymore. If I could help my sister, I would have felt proud to be the older sibling. It would have made me feel like I was growing up and could do more independently. But if I felt left out or like my sister was getting all the attention, I would have felt unsure of myself and wondered if I could still do the things I was proud of.

I fall into the autonomy resolution. I believe my parents would have encouraged me to help, and I would have felt proud of my growing independence, which would lead me to develop autonomy rather than shame or doubt.

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"Preschoolers like to initiate activities and emphasize doing things “all by myself.” (pg. 26)

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If caregivers encourage and support these explorations, children develop a sense of initiative and the confidence to try new things, make decisions, and take on tasks independently. However, if children are overly criticized or made to feel that their actions are wrong, they may develop guilt. This can occur when they feel ashamed of their curiosity or creativity.

When my sister was born, things really changed for me as a 5-year-old. My parents encouraged me to help care for her by getting her diapers, picking out her clothes, and rocking her. This made me excited to try new things and feel proud of my contributions. However, if I had been told to stay away or my help had been criticized, I would have felt guilty and unsure of myself. When my parents praised me for helping care for my sister, I felt proud and important to the family. However, I felt unsure and guilty when they discouraged me or didn’t let me help. Their reactions affected my confidence in taking charge or trying new things.

I fall into the initiative resolution. I was proud and excited to be the "big helper." My parents praised me, which made me feel confident and proud of what I could do.

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"School-aged children focus on accomplishments and begin making comparisons between themselves and their classmates." (pg.26)

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When children receive praise for their efforts, they feel capable and eager to take on new challenges. This helps them build confidence in their abilities. However, if they often face criticism and feel ignored, they may start to feel inferior.

I attended elementary school between the ages of 6 and 11. During this time, I learned about my skills and how I interacted with other kids. The birth of my sister significantly influenced how I viewed myself. I remember feeling proud when I helped her by getting her toys or acting as the “big helper.” This made me feel important and capable as if I had a meaningful role. However, there were moments when it seemed like everyone focused on her, and my own needs went unnoticed. This made me feel less important and capable. I began to think that I wasn’t good enough or that I didn’t meet the expectations set for me. Looking back, my confidence grew when I felt recognized as the older sibling. I felt I was helping my family. But when my sister's needs took center stage, I felt inferior. This taught me that being valued for my contributions affects my self-confidence a lot.

I fall into the industry resolution. I felt important when I helped my sister, and it made me feel useful. However, sometimes I felt overlooked. This experience taught me how important recognition is to my self-worth.

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"Teenagers are trying to gain a sense of identity as they experiment with various roles, beliefs, and ideas." (pg. 26)

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If adolescents successfully navigate this period of exploration and receive support from peers, family, and mentors, they develop a clear sense of identity and a solid understanding of their personal beliefs, values, and goals. This allows them to make confident decisions and establish a sense of direction in life.

On the other hand, if adolescents experience confusion, lack of guidance, or struggle to find their place, they may develop role confusion. This can lead to feelings of insecurity, uncertainty about the future, and difficulty making choices related to their personal identity or career.

When my sister was born, I started to see myself as an older sibling. I felt a strong need to help her grow, which made me feel caring and responsible. This boosted my confidence. However, as a teenager, I faced challenges in this role. Sometimes we didn’t get along, and I felt stressed trying to look after her. This pressure made me wonder if I should always be the responsible one or just be her sibling. Looking back, I realize this created some confusion about my role. The responsibility felt overwhelming, especially during our fights when I felt more like a parent than a sibling. I struggled to balance caring for her with having my own space. These mixed feelings made me rethink my identity in the family. It took time for me to find a way to connect with her while also figuring out who I was outside of being the "older sibling." In the end, my sister’s birth gave me a sense of responsibility but also taught me that growing up means balancing care for others with my own needs.

I fall into the identity resolution. I was able to explore my sense of self and had my sister as a support.

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"In our 20s and 30s, we are making some of our first long-term commitments in intimate relationships." (pg. 26)

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If individuals are able to develop strong, trusting relationships and share their feelings, they experience intimacy and the ability to connect emotionally, share vulnerabilities, and form lasting bonds. Successful resolution of this stage leads to strong relationships and a sense of belonging. However, if individuals struggle to form close connections, whether due to fear of rejection, emotional distance, or difficulty trusting others, they may experience isolation. This can result in feelings of loneliness, emotional detachment, and difficulty maintaining relationships.

As a young adult, I realized my relationship with my sister affected how I connect with others. Growing up, especially during my teenage years, our bond shaped my view of close relationships. Having a relationship with my sister helped me build trust and communication skills, making it easier to be open with others. However, our relationship was sometimes difficult, especially when I felt overwhelmed as the older sibling. These challenges made it hard to set boundaries and caused emotional distance. Over time, we grew closer, and those experiences taught me the value of patience and understanding. Looking back, I see how my relationship with my sister helped me connect with others and build meaningful relationships in my young adulthood.

I fall into the intimacy resolution. Communicating with her and building that trust was beneficial as I created new relationships. I could go to her and then help her through this stage.

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"The 40s through the early 60s we focus on being productive at work and home and are motivated by wanting to feel that we’ve made a contribution to society.:" (pg. 26)

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People feel a sense of generativity when they believe they are helping others and making a difference. This can come from raising children, mentoring, advancing careers, or engaging in social causes. Generativity provides a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

On the other hand, if people feel they are not contributing meaningfully or are disconnected, they may experience stagnation. This can lead to self-absorption, frustration, and a lack of fulfillment as they struggle with purposelessness and the desire to leave a legacy.

At 40 years old, I see how my sister's birth has helped shape my ability to support the next generation. As her older sibling, I have learned a lot about relationships and responsibilities. Supporting her—by giving advice, being there during tough times, or just being a steady presence—makes me feel I am making a meaningful contribution. This involvement gives me purpose and fulfillment as I see my actions positively impacting her life and future generations. Sometimes, our relationship feels distant, and I wonder if I am fulfilling my role. If I neglect her, I might feel stuck, as if I am not making a difference. Still, I realize that my relationship with her is crucial to my sense of contribution, and it motivates me to keep being an active and supportive presence in her life and in the lives of others I care about.

I fall into the generativity resolution. My involvement gives me purpose because I see how my actions help her and future generations. Sometimes, I feel distant and question if I am doing enough. When I neglect her, I feel stuck. However, I know our relationship is important to my sense of contribution, which motivates me to stay active and supportive in her life and those I care about.

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"We look back on our lives and hope to like what we see-that we have lived well and have a sense of integrity because we lived according to our beliefs." (pg. 26)

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When people are proud of their achievements and happy with their lives, they build integrity and wisdom. This helps them accept the ups and downs of life and find peace as they age.

On the other hand, if people feel regret or disappointment about their choices, they may feel despair. This can lead to hopelessness and make it hard for them to accept aging and the reality of mortality.

As a 40-year-old, I think about how my relationship with my sister will affect my view of life as I grow older. I believe that keeping a positive bond with her will bring me fulfillment. I want to feel proud of the support and companionship I’ve given her over the years, knowing we have shared a loving connection. On the other hand, if our relationship becomes strained, I might look back with regret. If I don’t make an effort to connect or if we grow apart, I could miss out on a deeper meaning in my life. How I care for my relationship with my sister will shape my feelings about my life and whether I look back with fulfillment or loss.

I will fall into the integrity resolution. I am looking forward to this part of my life with my sister. Hopeful that we remain close and supportive.