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This is your child's brain on videogames

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This is your child's brain on videogames

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This Is Your Child's Brain on Videogames | WSJ

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Nearly 7 out of 10 parents believe that using devices gives children another way of being creative for example a child who enjoys dancing, sharing a new routine online with family and friends.
Screens time impact on physical wellbeing
Nearly half of parents in the UK are worried their children are spending too much time online - with the majority believing it is causing their kids to lead a sedentary lifestyle lacking in physical exercise.

Source: Internet Matters Look Both Ways screen time report

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Screen time tips for 7-11 yrs - KS2 | Resources- Internet Matters

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Nearly 7 out of 10 parents believe that using devices gives children another way of being creative for example a child who enjoys dancing, sharing a new routine online with family and friends.

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Working with online safety experts, we're here to provide parents & carers with guidance, advice and support to keep children safe online | Internet Matters

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Online safety for families and children with SEND

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Online safety for families and children with SEND

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Two or more hours of screen time in the evening can seriously disrupt the melatonin surge needed to fall asleep

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includes info on the benefits of technology for children with extra needs, apps that can help learning at school and home and a toothbrushing game/app

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ideas for using smart speakers to help children manage morning routines

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When they'd just started growing in popularity, I bought my first smart speaker. To be honest it was out of curiosity more than anything; I didn't really see what I'd need it for.

Fast forward a couple of years and I have one in every room and use them daily. They're great for playing music when you're washing up, need to pop something on your shopping list, or controlling the lights around your house from whatever room you're in.

They're not just handy for boring adult stuff, although dimming my lights without having to get up still fills me with glee. Children can enjoy them too, and there are more and more voice apps being created that are specifically for younger users.

As well as games that are just for fun, smart speakers can support children's learning in a multitude of ways.
Here are a few cool things that smart speakers can do to help your child in school:

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How can a smart speaker help my child in school? - The Good Play Guide

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Here are a few cool things that smart speakers can do to help your child in school:

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'Dark mode' - reducing blue light to support sleep

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'Dark mode' - reducing blue light to support sleep

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Dark mode is here to help with a feeling many people will be familiar with the feeling: after hours spent looking at screens your eyes get tired and the white background of just about every web page and app can seem blinding, no matter how low you turn down the brightness.

It switches the colours of your screens, to give everything a black or dark background with white text and objects. You can use it on your phone or computer, on just specific apps or across a whole operating system.

Fans of dark mode will wax lyrical on the benefits - that it will help eye strain, make text more legible and improve battery life. A (very!) small study of seven people from University of Tuebingen found that light mode could increase risk of myopia, otherwise known as shortsightedness. But when it comes to empirical evidence, large studies are thin on the ground.

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't choose to use dark mode - it's all about doing what feels good for you. It can certainly help to reduce glare in low light, so that you're not as blinded when looking at your phone in a dark room. It can also be better for people with visual impairments such as photosensitivity, cataracts or astigmatism.

"You're aware of your limitations and what you're experiencing as an individual," says Lauren Kelly, behavioural design director at BehaviourStudio. "You're adapting the technology to you, as opposed to it being preset."

iOS

While dark mode is good on an older display, it's great if you have an OLED display (iPhone XS or later). This means that instead of colouring the pixels black, they are simply not lit, allowing for a higher contrast and increased battery-saving potential. If you have an older iPhone, Apple has still gone for a true black theme with dark grey in some places to maintain readability.

To enable dark mode on iOS, the easiest way is to swipe from the home screen to get to the control centre, down from the top right on an iPhone X or newer, or up from the bottom on an iPhone 8 or older. Press and hold on the brightness slider and tap 'Appearance' on the bottom left to switch between light and dark modes as you please. You can even add a dark mode dedicated button to the control centre by going to settings > control centre > customise controls. This can be particularly useful for reducing glare quickly when you need it.

A more conventional way to switch to dark mode on iOS is to go to settings. Tap 'Display & Brightness' and tap either 'Light' or 'Dark' to choose which appearance you want. You can also tap the toggle underneath to set dark mode to come on automatically - simply go on 'Options' after turning it to automatic to choose when dark mode comes on, either sunset to sunrise every day or at times of your choosing.

Android

Dark mode on Android, or dark theme as Google likes to call it, automatically switches the colours for nearly every Google-owned app. Youtube, Gmail and Chrome will be set to a dark background so you don't have to worry about suddenly having to squint to read when one of these apps is still bright white.

Dark mode only became available for Android in November 2019 and can only be used on the Android 10 operating system or newer, so older phones won't be able to use it.

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How to turn on dark mode on all your apps and devices

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It cuts down on eye strain, prolongs battery life and it may even be good for your health. So if you haven't investigated the dark side of operating systems yet, here's how to do so on Android, iOS, PCs, Macs and even individual apps

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You can block apps and notifications for periods when you want time away from your devices. For example, you might want to schedule downtime during meals or at bedtime.

During downtime, only calls, messages, and apps you choose to allow are available. You can receive calls from contacts you've selected to allow communication with during downtime, and you can use apps you've chosen to allow at all times.

Go to Settings > Screen Time.

Tap App & Website Activity, then turn on App & Website Activity if you haven't already.

Tap Downtime, then do one of the following:

When you schedule downtime, a 5-minute reminder is sent before downtime begins. You can ignore the reminder, or turn on downtime until the beginning of the scheduled downtime.

Select Every Day or Customize Days, then set the start and end times.

You can turn off the Downtime schedule at any time by turning off Scheduled.

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In Settings on iPad, set up Screen Time allowances and limits for yourself.

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Roblox, Minecraft and Fortnite - info about the games and setting up parental controls

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Roblox, Minecraft and Fortnite - info about the games and setting up parental controls

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Can't keep up with the multitude of online games flooding the market? If you're a bewildered parent who just wants a simple, straightforward guide on the popular games out there, you've come to the right place! Here's a bite-sized summary of three popular games for kids, as well as guides on how to set up these games with parental controls. Let's keep up with the kids, instil positive gaming and screen habits in them, and keep them safe in the digital world!
Content: Parental Control Guide:
2. Minecraft
Tips for Parents - What You Need to Look Out For:
1. Signs of gaming addiction

2. Prevention

Parental Control Guide

1. Roblox

What it is:

Roblox is an online multiplayer game platform and creation system, popular among children and teenagers. Users from around the world can play together by designing their own games and also join in the games created by others. Players are given the opportunity to create an avatar and participate in games with different genres such as Adventure, Mystery, Battle and Real World Roleplay. The platform also allows them to communicate with other players and invite them to co-create experiences.

Do read through the Roblox Guide for Parents before starting.

Recommended age: 13 years old and above ( Common Sense Media and ESRB)

Price: Free, with the option to purchase virtual currency called Robux for in-game items

Setting up an account with parental controls:
1. Sign up
Go to www.roblox.com. Enter your child's accurate birth date and click the sign up button.
2. Add a parent's email
Go to the top right corner, and click on the setting icon. Under Account Info, add your email address. A verification email from Roblox will be sent to this address.
3. Edit Settings accordingly
Some useful settings you might like to change:
Under the Parental Control tab on the panel on the left:
a) Create a pin: Click on 'Parent PIN is disabled', and create a four digit pin. You will be prompted to add your password to continue. Once the PIN is added, it is required to be entered before the Settings page can be accessed in the future.

b) Change the Allowed Experiences based on your child's age. Do note that all experiences are still searchable. Monthly spend restrictions and notifications can also be changed.
Under the Privacy tab on the panel on the left:
a) Change the communication options according to your preference, to limit strangers communicating with your child.

b) Enable the 'Account Restrictions are enabled' slider to save the settings.

Monitoring

Check histories to find out what your child has been playing, creating, and purchasing, and who they have been chatting to.

Creations- Found under Create on the horizontal panel at the top of the homepage.

Recently played games- Go to Home, look for Continue or My Recent.

Direct and small group chat - Chat box can be found in the lower right corner of the app. This feature is limited to Friends, and Friends of Friends.

Private message history- Found under Messages on the vertical panel on the left-side of the homepage.

Friends- Found under Friends on the vertical panel on the left-side of the homepage. You will be able to see Friends, Followings, Followers and Requests. Do note that the friend's request page cannot be disabled, so check in on the Friend Requests page on the website to ensure strangers are not being accepted.

Purchases- Click on Robux at the horizontal panel at the top of the homepage. My Transactions and other details related to purchases will be shown.

2. Minecraft

What it is:

This popular computer game is played as a single player or multiplayer game, and lets users create and explore block-based virtual worlds. Its open-ended gameplay with no set plot allows users to tap into their creativity and construct anything they want under the sun. Resources may be mined and used to construct structures, make tools, and produce goods. The game also features survival components, like fending off enemies and inventive construction.

Kids can play in five different game modes, with the two most popular modes being Survival and Creative. Combat is cartoonish and without blood, despite the fact that players may use swords, bows, and other basic weapons to battle enemies and one another. Players frequently just resurrect at the point where they first started the game after they die.

Recommended age: 8+ years old ( Common Sense Media), 10+ years old ( ESRB)

Price: Free limited version ( Minecraft Classic); Full version ( Minecraft), with option to purchase virtual currency called Minecoins for in-game items

Platforms: Minecraft Java Edition (PC, Mac, and Linux computers); Minecraft Bedrock Edition (Windows 10 and 11, Xbox One, Xbox Series S and X, PlayStation 4 and 5, Nintendo Switch, Fire OS/TV, Android, iOS, Windows Mobile, and Samsung Gear VR)

Minecraft has a special version made just for kids to support learning in a fun and engaging way. There's a section just for parents, so you can discover and explore ways to play and learn with Minecraft at home. All you need is an Office 365 Education account. A free trial is available, after which it would cost USD12 per year.
Minecraft Realm:
Parents can create your own private server so your child can play with family and friends on Minecraft Realms and Realms Plus.

Setting up an account with parental controls:

Irrespective of the device you child is playing Minecraft on, you will need first need to create a free Xbox Live account to link a parent account to your Child Account, in order to set preferred privacy and multiplayer preferences. Only parent accounts can modify settings. Once you have your free Microsoft Account:
1. Set up a Family Group
Go to https://account.microsoft.com/family/, and create a Family Group. Child Accounts for under 13 year olds must be created by a parent or carer.

Click  Add a family member.

Follow the instructions to create the account. If your child does not already have a Microsoft account, you will be prompted to create one.

2. Edit Settings accordingly
Two popular and useful settings you may like to change:

Disable chat messages or invitations from other players

a) Go to your Xbox Account Settings. Click on your child's Account.

b) In the navigation tabs at the top, click . Scroll down to the section. Toggle the slider to ' Block' to block Others can communicate with voice, text, or invites.

Note: Minecraft: Java Edition has no distinction between 'Friends' or 'Everyone.' Instead, you must choose between 'Block' to block all chat in Minecraft: Java Edition, or 'Everyone' to enable chat in the game.

a) Go to your Xbox Account Settings. Click on your child's Account.

b) In the navigation tabs at the top, click Xbox Series X|S, Xbox One, and Windows 10 devices Online Safety.

c) Select forYou can join multiplayer games.

In-Game Security

It's possible to add, mute, block, or report players from the Minecraft Pause menu. It's also possible to set player permissions from the Pause menu, so your children can invite friends to look at but not touch worlds, or help fight off zombies without attacking each other.

Check out the Minecraft official website for more information on Parental Controls on Java Edition and Bedrock Edition.

3. Fortnite

What it is:

Fortnite combines aspects of exploration, survival, and building. There are two modes to choose from, called Save the World and Battle Royale. Players are dropped onto the game to kill every other player in Battle Royale, or work together to defeat 'husks' (zombie-like creatures) in Save the World. This is an action game in which players build forts, gather resources, craft weapons, and battle hordes of monsters in frenetic combat.

Violence: The game includes a significant amount of fantasy-based violence, although it is not considered to be overly graphic. Characters are cartoonish, with fantastical weapons. There's no blood, and defeated enemies simply vanish from the spot. Players use guns, swords, and grenades in combat and also employ various traps such as electric, spikes, poisonous gas to defeat enemies.

Do review the game's content for suitability, based on your own personal values and beliefs.

Recommended age: 13 years old and above ( Common Sense Media and ESRB )

Price: Free (Battle Royale); USD39.99, (Save The World); with option to purchase in-game items

Setting up an account with parental controls:
Option 1:
Parents can use a PIN to lock certain aspects of the game with an Epic Games Account. All communications regarding parental controls are sent to the email address associated with the account.
1. Sign up 2. Set up 6 digit PIN
Choose Parental Controls from the left horizontal navigation menu. Set up your six-digit Parental Controls PIN.
3. Edit Settings accordingly
You can change chat setting permissions, and turn on the slider to screen out mature language in Epic text chat.
Option 2:
You can also set up Parental Controls through Fortnite itself.

1. Launch Fortnite on your platform of choice.

2. Click on the account icon on the top right corner of the page. Choose Account.

3. Select Parental Controls from the left vertical panel.

3. You will be asked to confirm the email address linked to the account. If no email address is linked to the account, you'll be guided to a web browser to create an Epic account and PIN using your email address.

4. Change settings accordingly .

Tips for Parents - What You Need to Look Out For

1.Signs of gaming addiction

Gaming definitely has its benefits and can serve as a great past time for our kids. But what happens when your kid can't seem to stop? How can we draw the line between healthy enthusiasm and a gaming addiction or disorder?

Gaming addiction can certainly be a serious matter, with this being officially recognised by the World Health Organisation as a mental health condition. Here are some of the warning signs of video gaming addiction for you to look out for, based on the American Psychiatry Association's manual.

A child would need to have five or more of these signs in one year to classify as an individual who has a problem with gaming:

Thinking about gaming all or a lot of the time

Feeling bad when you can't play

Needing to spend more and more time playing to feel good

Not being able to quit or even play less

Not wanting to do other things that you used to like

Having problems at work, school, or home because of your gaming

Playing despite these problems

Lying to people close to you about how much time you spend playing

Using gaming to ease bad moods and feelings.

If your child is letting their gaming habits get in the way of daily life, or are neglecting their relationships, exercise, schoolwork and personal hygiene in favour of playing games, it's time to seek professional help.

2. Prevention

And of course, prevention is always better than cure. Let's take charge and start laying down the foundations for healthy screen and gaming habits. We are all parenting in a digital age, and play a crucial role in helping our kids build a healthy relationship with technology.

Here are a few quick tips on how to foster positive gaming habits:

Set (and stick!) to time limits for play

Keep gadgets out of the bedroom, so your kids won't play into the night

Role-model healthy habits

Utilise parenting tools and controls

As parents, we can do everything within our capabilities, but there are also so many factors that aren't within our control. If you suspect your child is suffering from a gaming disorder, once again - do reach out for support from mental health professionals.
We hope this guide makes it easier for parents to help create a safer gaming environment for your children, based on your personal values and comfort level, #makchicmumsquad!
Elaine is a mummy of two who moved from the financial world to become an early childhood educator. She loves travelling, books and her cup of tea to unwind after a long day of diapers, school runs and pretend play.

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Gaming 101: A Parent's Guide to Roblox, Minecraft and Fortnite - Makchic

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A bite sized summary on Roblox, Minecraft and Fortnite, and simple to follow guide on how to use parental controls for these popular games.

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Roblox, Minecraft and Fortnite - info about setting up parental controls

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Roblox, Minecraft and Fortnite - info about setting up parental controls

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Can't keep up with the multitude of online games flooding the market? If you're a bewildered parent who just wants a simple, straightforward guide on the popular games out there, you've come to the right place! Here's a bite-sized summary of three popular games for kids, as well as guides on how to set up these games with parental controls. Let's keep up with the kids, instil positive gaming and screen habits in them, and keep them safe in the digital world!
Content: Parental Control Guide:
2. Minecraft
Tips for Parents - What You Need to Look Out For:
1. Signs of gaming addiction

2. Prevention

Parental Control Guide

1. Roblox

What it is:

Roblox is an online multiplayer game platform and creation system, popular among children and teenagers. Users from around the world can play together by designing their own games and also join in the games created by others. Players are given the opportunity to create an avatar and participate in games with different genres such as Adventure, Mystery, Battle and Real World Roleplay. The platform also allows them to communicate with other players and invite them to co-create experiences.

Do read through the Roblox Guide for Parents before starting.

Recommended age: 13 years old and above ( Common Sense Media and ESRB)

Price: Free, with the option to purchase virtual currency called Robux for in-game items

Setting up an account with parental controls:
1. Sign up
Go to www.roblox.com. Enter your child's accurate birth date and click the sign up button.
2. Add a parent's email
Go to the top right corner, and click on the setting icon. Under Account Info, add your email address. A verification email from Roblox will be sent to this address.
3. Edit Settings accordingly
Some useful settings you might like to change:
Under the Parental Control tab on the panel on the left:
a) Create a pin: Click on 'Parent PIN is disabled', and create a four digit pin. You will be prompted to add your password to continue. Once the PIN is added, it is required to be entered before the Settings page can be accessed in the future.

b) Change the Allowed Experiences based on your child's age. Do note that all experiences are still searchable. Monthly spend restrictions and notifications can also be changed.
Under the Privacy tab on the panel on the left:
a) Change the communication options according to your preference, to limit strangers communicating with your child.

b) Enable the 'Account Restrictions are enabled' slider to save the settings.

Monitoring

Check histories to find out what your child has been playing, creating, and purchasing, and who they have been chatting to.

Creations- Found under Create on the horizontal panel at the top of the homepage.

Recently played games- Go to Home, look for Continue or My Recent.

Direct and small group chat - Chat box can be found in the lower right corner of the app. This feature is limited to Friends, and Friends of Friends.

Private message history- Found under Messages on the vertical panel on the left-side of the homepage.

Friends- Found under Friends on the vertical panel on the left-side of the homepage. You will be able to see Friends, Followings, Followers and Requests. Do note that the friend's request page cannot be disabled, so check in on the Friend Requests page on the website to ensure strangers are not being accepted.

Purchases- Click on Robux at the horizontal panel at the top of the homepage. My Transactions and other details related to purchases will be shown.

2. Minecraft

What it is:

This popular computer game is played as a single player or multiplayer game, and lets users create and explore block-based virtual worlds. Its open-ended gameplay with no set plot allows users to tap into their creativity and construct anything they want under the sun. Resources may be mined and used to construct structures, make tools, and produce goods. The game also features survival components, like fending off enemies and inventive construction.

Kids can play in five different game modes, with the two most popular modes being Survival and Creative. Combat is cartoonish and without blood, despite the fact that players may use swords, bows, and other basic weapons to battle enemies and one another. Players frequently just resurrect at the point where they first started the game after they die.

Recommended age: 8+ years old ( Common Sense Media), 10+ years old ( ESRB)

Price: Free limited version ( Minecraft Classic); Full version ( Minecraft), with option to purchase virtual currency called Minecoins for in-game items

Platforms: Minecraft Java Edition (PC, Mac, and Linux computers); Minecraft Bedrock Edition (Windows 10 and 11, Xbox One, Xbox Series S and X, PlayStation 4 and 5, Nintendo Switch, Fire OS/TV, Android, iOS, Windows Mobile, and Samsung Gear VR)

Minecraft has a special version made just for kids to support learning in a fun and engaging way. There's a section just for parents, so you can discover and explore ways to play and learn with Minecraft at home. All you need is an Office 365 Education account. A free trial is available, after which it would cost USD12 per year.
Minecraft Realm:
Parents can create your own private server so your child can play with family and friends on Minecraft Realms and Realms Plus.

Setting up an account with parental controls:

Irrespective of the device you child is playing Minecraft on, you will need first need to create a free Xbox Live account to link a parent account to your Child Account, in order to set preferred privacy and multiplayer preferences. Only parent accounts can modify settings. Once you have your free Microsoft Account:
1. Set up a Family Group
Go to https://account.microsoft.com/family/, and create a Family Group. Child Accounts for under 13 year olds must be created by a parent or carer.

Click  Add a family member.

Follow the instructions to create the account. If your child does not already have a Microsoft account, you will be prompted to create one.

2. Edit Settings accordingly
Two popular and useful settings you may like to change:

Disable chat messages or invitations from other players

a) Go to your Xbox Account Settings. Click on your child's Account.

b) In the navigation tabs at the top, click . Scroll down to the section. Toggle the slider to ' Block' to block Others can communicate with voice, text, or invites.

Note: Minecraft: Java Edition has no distinction between 'Friends' or 'Everyone.' Instead, you must choose between 'Block' to block all chat in Minecraft: Java Edition, or 'Everyone' to enable chat in the game.

a) Go to your Xbox Account Settings. Click on your child's Account.

b) In the navigation tabs at the top, click Xbox Series X|S, Xbox One, and Windows 10 devices Online Safety.

c) Select forYou can join multiplayer games.

In-Game Security

It's possible to add, mute, block, or report players from the Minecraft Pause menu. It's also possible to set player permissions from the Pause menu, so your children can invite friends to look at but not touch worlds, or help fight off zombies without attacking each other.

Check out the Minecraft official website for more information on Parental Controls on Java Edition and Bedrock Edition.

3. Fortnite

What it is:

Fortnite combines aspects of exploration, survival, and building. There are two modes to choose from, called Save the World and Battle Royale. Players are dropped onto the game to kill every other player in Battle Royale, or work together to defeat 'husks' (zombie-like creatures) in Save the World. This is an action game in which players build forts, gather resources, craft weapons, and battle hordes of monsters in frenetic combat.

Violence: The game includes a significant amount of fantasy-based violence, although it is not considered to be overly graphic. Characters are cartoonish, with fantastical weapons. There's no blood, and defeated enemies simply vanish from the spot. Players use guns, swords, and grenades in combat and also employ various traps such as electric, spikes, poisonous gas to defeat enemies.

Do review the game's content for suitability, based on your own personal values and beliefs.

Recommended age: 13 years old and above ( Common Sense Media and ESRB )

Price: Free (Battle Royale); USD39.99, (Save The World); with option to purchase in-game items

Setting up an account with parental controls:
Option 1:
Parents can use a PIN to lock certain aspects of the game with an Epic Games Account. All communications regarding parental controls are sent to the email address associated with the account.
1. Sign up 2. Set up 6 digit PIN
Choose Parental Controls from the left horizontal navigation menu. Set up your six-digit Parental Controls PIN.
3. Edit Settings accordingly
You can change chat setting permissions, and turn on the slider to screen out mature language in Epic text chat.
Option 2:
You can also set up Parental Controls through Fortnite itself.

1. Launch Fortnite on your platform of choice.

2. Click on the account icon on the top right corner of the page. Choose Account.

3. Select Parental Controls from the left vertical panel.

3. You will be asked to confirm the email address linked to the account. If no email address is linked to the account, you'll be guided to a web browser to create an Epic account and PIN using your email address.

4. Change settings accordingly .

Tips for Parents - What You Need to Look Out For

1.Signs of gaming addiction

Gaming definitely has its benefits and can serve as a great past time for our kids. But what happens when your kid can't seem to stop? How can we draw the line between healthy enthusiasm and a gaming addiction or disorder?

Gaming addiction can certainly be a serious matter, with this being officially recognised by the World Health Organisation as a mental health condition. Here are some of the warning signs of video gaming addiction for you to look out for, based on the American Psychiatry Association's manual.

A child would need to have five or more of these signs in one year to classify as an individual who has a problem with gaming:

Thinking about gaming all or a lot of the time

Feeling bad when you can't play

Needing to spend more and more time playing to feel good

Not being able to quit or even play less

Not wanting to do other things that you used to like

Having problems at work, school, or home because of your gaming

Playing despite these problems

Lying to people close to you about how much time you spend playing

Using gaming to ease bad moods and feelings.

If your child is letting their gaming habits get in the way of daily life, or are neglecting their relationships, exercise, schoolwork and personal hygiene in favour of playing games, it's time to seek professional help.

2. Prevention

And of course, prevention is always better than cure. Let's take charge and start laying down the foundations for healthy screen and gaming habits. We are all parenting in a digital age, and play a crucial role in helping our kids build a healthy relationship with technology.

Here are a few quick tips on how to foster positive gaming habits:

Set (and stick!) to time limits for play

Keep gadgets out of the bedroom, so your kids won't play into the night

Role-model healthy habits

Utilise parenting tools and controls

As parents, we can do everything within our capabilities, but there are also so many factors that aren't within our control. If you suspect your child is suffering from a gaming disorder, once again - do reach out for support from mental health professionals.
We hope this guide makes it easier for parents to help create a safer gaming environment for your children, based on your personal values and comfort level, #makchicmumsquad!
Elaine is a mummy of two who moved from the financial world to become an early childhood educator. She loves travelling, books and her cup of tea to unwind after a long day of diapers, school runs and pretend play.

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Gaming 101: A Parent's Guide to Roblox, Minecraft and Fortnite - Makchic

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A bite sized summary on Roblox, Minecraft and Fortnite, and simple to follow guide on how to use parental controls for these popular games.

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Supporting online wellbeing for children with SEND

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Supporting online wellbeing for children with SEND

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Screens screens screens (facebook post by Dr Naomi Fisher)

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Screens screens screens (facebook post by Dr Naomi Fisher)

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I’m often asked about children’s gaming and screen time. Here’s what I see.

When parents talk to me about gaming and screens, it’s always about fear. ‘Will they get addicted?’ they ask me. ‘I can’t control my own use, how can a child do it?’. They want me to  tell them how to control their children’s screen time without conflict, how to tell them to switch it off without it turning into an argument.

There’s so much fear that we have no time to talk about the benefits. So here are some of the things I see.

I see children who don’t feel competent anywhere else in their lives, feeling good about themselves when they play video games. I ask them about their gaming and they come alive. I download the games myself and we chat about strategy. They often can’t believe an adult is interested.

I see young people who are really isolated, starting to make connections through online gaming. They can start by in-game typing and then move into voice chat. The shared game takes the pressure off, and they can relate.

I meet young people who can regulate their emotions with their tablet, taking some time out in their day to put on headphones and sink into their safe zone, meaning that they can carry on afterwards. It’s such a useful and portable way to take some time out. All that’s necessary is for the adults to understand why it’s important, and to help them find a space to do so.

I do also see young people whose lives are difficult, and they use gaming to avoid their thoughts and feelings. Their parents worry & start to put in bans. The thing is, the gaming is the solution they’ve found, not the cause. Bans won’t solve that, and they can drive wedges between parents and children.  It’s the difficult life we need to change, and one way to start is to nurture the relationships with their parents, and to build on the things which are good.

I meet many parents who say they have no idea what their children do on their devices, that ‘screen time’ is time for them to get on with other tasks. They treat screens in quite a different way to their children’s other passions. They don’t see it as worthy of their time.

Some of them will say they refuse to pay for games, meaning their children are only able to play ‘free’ games which are advert-heavy and whose game play is usually skewed towards having to buy gems or crystals. This means young people are stuck playing games which are designed to make them spend money, whilst not being able to spend money. A situation designed for frustration. A small amount of money on a high quality game can be well worth the cost.

When I suggest to parents that they spend time with their children on screens, they return surprised. ‘We had no idea that they were doing so many things’ Or ‘they are building games or learning how to code’. It’s not longer the ‘screen time’ bogeyman, it’s real life.

For there’s more to this than games and screens. How we talk about our children’s passions affects our relationship with them. When we demonise screens, we risk demonising the things our children love. We denigrate their choices. We give them the message that the things they value aren’t worth the time, that they can’t be trusted to make decisions.

When we instead join them, we give them the message that we are interested in the things they enjoy. Even if we aren’t interesting in gaming, we can be interested in our young people and what makes them come alive. We can value the joy.

We can learn to play Roblox, or Brawl Stars, or Minecraft, and appreciate the connection that that gives us with our young people. We can ask about their progress and about their new game. We show that we are interested in them.

And from that seed, other things will grow.

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Is a free collection of small, simple, single-task tools, mostly designed to help neurodivergent people with tasks they find overwhelming or difficult.

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All devices with the same username and password will synchronise lists. Your list is encrypted on your devices using your username and password. It can not be seen or decrypted by admins or anyone who doesn't have your credentials. Synchronization is not instant, it can take a few seconds for your changes to come through on other devices.

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Frustration during video games by Bill Nason (Autism Discussion Pages)

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Frustration during video games by Bill Nason (Autism Discussion Pages)

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Videos games can be very addicting, changing the neurochemistry in the brain.  This can be for any person, on the spectrum or not, especially if there is any ADD involved.  People with under-aroused nervous systems and attention deficit problems need excitability to focus.  Video games provide "excitation" both at the visual, sensory level and at the cognitive (challenge) level.  Autistic children, since they struggle to regulate in the real world (especially relating with others), enjoy living in a fantasy world which brings them a sense of control and competence. They can control what happens and build strong excitability.  Then as it gets harder and they begin to fail, it takes them from an immediate high to an immediate low.  Their brains cannot switch gears that quick.

"Mastery" is rewarding for every living being.  Unfortunately, autistic children often only experience mastery when they are focusing on their fixated interest, or playing a video game.  They start the video games at the easier steps, gradually building confidence as they work up the steps.  This mastery builds greater and greater excitement, and then suddenly, they fail!  What a letdown. Adding fuel to the fire, autistic children have trouble shifting gears and ending something very exciting for them.  Once into it, it is difficult for them to pull themselves away from the excitement.  They get hyper-focused on the game and do not want to pull away.

On the one hand, the sensory excitability, feelings of mastery and competence, and the ability to control what is happening are all very attractive to the autistic child.  They can withdraw from the real world and enter a world where they can feel more competent.  Now adding fuel to the fire, autistic children are also "all or nothing" and see failure as catastrophic.  They have a difficult time with "good enough" thinking and see all failure as devastating. Since many already have problems with regulating emotions, video games set them up for problems.

Now, given all these issues that video games can bring, it is good to limit the amount of time autistic children spend with video games.  You need to put very clear boundaries, rules, and expectations on their use. However, you may need to do this gradually. If your child is used to playing hours at a time, and you take it away for a week, expect to have withdrawal effects.  Most autistic children cannot handle this. Gradually cut back on how long they can play it, and how often during the day.  Build in other activities they must do first, before playing the video games.  It is important to teach children structure and routine, so get your child used to a routine filled with constructive activity, with video games built in periodically.

The two variables I find that affect emotional regulation with video games are the length of time the child can play them before becoming emotionally dysregulated, and the complexity of the game that builds greater emotional excitement.  Try and keep track of how long the child can play before getting dysregulated, then limit playing time to a safe duration.  Use a visual timer and give three and one-minute warnings before ending the play, “Don, in three minutes, it will be time to take your bath.”  This gives the brain a chance to prepare for the transition of stopping and moving on.  “Johnnie, you can play video games until 8:00, and then you will have your snack.” This way, Johnnie knows what is coming up after video games.  Make sure to give 5, 3, and one-minute warnings before transitioning to the snack.  “Johnnie, in five minutes, we will end the video game and have your snack.”

Also, keep track of which games seem to be less intense (or easier) and which games are harder, thus causing emotional dysregulation.  Talk this over with them.  When the child throws a fit during one of the harder ones, then for the next session, they must play one of the easier ones.

Now, video games also can be used to teach the child how to deal with frustration, learn "good enough" tolerance, and teach emotional regulation.  For the more difficult games, try to get the child to talk about what parts are hard and what parts are frustrating.  Have them explain how they are working the easier parts and talk about how the game is built around "failing to succeed."  You often must fail numerous times before learning how to beat it successfully, and sometimes you may never be able to make through all the steps.  Try and get them to realize that is the strategy of the game.

Also, realize that as the child moves further and further along the complexity of the game, it will become more emotionally intense and they will become more drawn into the game.  Have them pause at different steps of the game, take a minute break, and then go back to it.  Their nervous system needs a minute to rebound and collect itself, especially at the harder steps.  Teach them to take a few deep breaths and do a few wall push-ups.  You want to identify with the child what they should do when they start getting intense, and then have them practice it at easier levels while they have better self-control.  Then as the intensity builds, they are used to using the coping skill.

For the game that is very difficult for the child, tell them they must play it with you to help coach them the rough stages (if you can successfully do it….lol).  This is a good time to teach them how to gauge their level of emotional intensity.  If they are older, have them grade their emotional level on a gradient of 1-5, with one being calm and five being too intense to handle.  Have them pause periodically in the game and rate how they feel.  Give them feedback on the level you would rate them.  For older children, have them sense how their bodies feel when upset.  Together figure out what they should do at each level to keep their cool (take deep breaths at a low level, get up for a break at higher levels, etc.).  Once they allow you to be a working partner with them during these more intense games, coach them along as you see their intensity build.  Have them pause briefly between levels to talk about how they feel and to use simple techniques to regroup.   Let him feel the "mastery" of keeping control when losing.  First, talk together on what coping skills to use when frustrated, coach them to use them during the game, and praise them for using coping skills when "sh-- hits the fan!”

If they become overwhelmed and act out, back up the next time and end the game sooner.    Focus on building competency in the face of frustration (using coping skills and tackling the frustration) rather than punishing "losing it."

Sorry so long!  There are other ways you can use video games to teach regulating, but too much for one post.  Remember, however, video games can be a great teaching tool since they require maintaining emotional control, which is hard for these children.  It is a safe place to teach "frustration tolerance" and emotional control.  Video games will only mirror other real life times of frustration.

This series on challenging behavior can be found in the green book, “Autism Discussion Page on Anxiety, Behavior, School and Parenting Strategies.”

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Bill+Nason

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From Autism Discussion Pages by Bill Nason

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From Autism Discussion Pages by Bill Nason

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The power of video games

Ali Vaux gives a real positive view of the importance of video games.

“I actually think the prevalent notion of how negative video games are will eventually go away.

This is an old notion made by people who don't get it, and won't get it.

I'm an autistic college professor because I was and am a hard core gamer. Encourage your kids to share what they love and hate about the game. Ask them how they might change it. Encourage them to think of the designed elements of the game. Let them draw the monsters in it. It's an important part of their lives. Be a part of it.

I'm 40 now. My Mom has played video games with my brother and I our entire lives. She is 63 now, and we get online to play World of Warcraft every evening. I live halfway across the country from her, so it's our way to really spend time together. I only get to hug her in real life now once or twice a year when I'm lucky.

I have made some truly deep connections with friends who became real life friends. They got to know me without the nervous energy. Without the weird ticks, and embarrassing stammering. They got to know me the way I am. Without the masking.

I learned who I am on games because it was the only environment where I could be myself.

Games don't have to be the stigma. When integrated intelligently, I actually have a few autistic friends hiding in successful game design careers. Don't deny your child the ability to make a career out of their obsession.

Reframe their game by remembering that there is a real future in the game industry that older folks who are kind of luddites can't really see. And that's OK. Just know that is their world, and this world is changing.

Schedule. Give a schedule. Allow the time. Be clear and absolute about limits. And share this part of their lives with them instead of just getting frustrated because it upsets them like real life does. I learned so much about getting knocked down 9 times and getting up 10 by conquering difficult aspects of video games.

No one would be saying any of this about playing baseball or soccer because that's socially acceptable.

It's not any different, except I stand a chance to be good online. I will never ever be coordinated. Ever. Not with all the practice in the world. My father forced me to participate in the socially acceptable sports. Didn't do me an ounce of good. And his idea of what I should do brought me nothing but failure and misery.

Stop trying to take these things away and try to learn why they are so engrossing. Pretend they are obsessed with biology or football.”

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If someone's being groomed or hurt, they might:

keep secrets, or lie about what's happened

feel scared to talk about things, or avoid talking about it

suddenly have money, or new things like clothes or phones that they can't explain

suddenly change, or avoid spending time with other people

Lots of things can make someone change suddenly, but if you're worried then it's okay to ask for support.

It can help to share what's making you worried with the person you know, or to get help from an adult you trust.

You can talk to us about anything that's happening, even if it's about someone else. Childline is confidential, and you can find out more about that here.

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Grooming is when someone builds your trust and makes a connection with you to get you to do something sexual or illegal.

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Things to remember:

it's okay to say no to things if you don't feel comfortable or safe

you have the right to make your own choices

there are ways to say no to something, but still be accepted and have friends. If someone is your friend they should accept your decision.

there are ways to feel more confident about saying how you feel.

Trying new things is a part of growing up. But that doesn't mean that you have to drink alcohol, take drugs and smoke.

If your friends are all taking part, it can feel hard to say no. But it's your decision, not theirs. And you have the right to decide what you want to do.

Bullying can mean different things. If your friends are calling someone names, putting them down, or doing anything to deliberately make someone else feel bad, then this is bullying.

If you're being pressured into bullying someone, it can be really difficult to say no. But there are ways you can stand up to peer pressure:

practise how to say "no" and remember you don't need to explain yourself

think about your reasons and how to help your friends understand

avoid situations where you might be asked to join in with bullying

tell someone like a teacher to make sure it stops

if you're being pressured into bullying someone online, report it

if you're worried about how someone is being treated online, post positive things or message them something supportive.

You might feel pressured to change things about yourself, like losing weight. This pressure could be coming from a friend, a family member or online. Hearing negative things about how you look or your weight can be really upsetting and make you lose confidence.

It can also be really harmful. Pressure to lose weight can lead to eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. Being healthy means making sure you eat enough food, and don't lose weight in a way that's not safe for you.

Working on ways to build self-esteem after being bullied or pressured by someone can help you feel confident with how you look. There is no one size fits all - everyone deserves to feel happy in their own skin.

Having sex is a big decision. And everyone feels ready at different times.

If you don't feel comfortable or ready to have sex with someone, then you shouldn't feel like you have to. And if you aren't ready to send sexual messages or images to someone, then you have the right to say no.

There are risks with sending nude images of yourself. They could be used to blackmail you or they could be shared online. If this has happened to you then you can use Report Remove to remove the image from the internet.

Your friends, boyfriend or girlfriend should care about you enough not to pressure you or make you do something you're not happy about.

Find out more about sexting and sex and relationships.

Whether it's skipping class, stealing, or breaking the law, we may all feel pressured to do something that might get us into trouble at some point in our lives.

Sometimes it's hard to see how a dare or a prank might affect you and your life ahead. Especially if all your friends are doing it.

It can seem fun to join in. And you might trust your friends. But breaking the law can have serious consequences.

Each situation is different, but it's hard to go back and change things if you get in trouble with the police. Remember you have the right to say no.

Try to think it through what will happen if you:

take drugs - your physical and mental health could be damaged

shoplifting - you could be arrested or taken to a police station.

doing something dangerous - you could hurt yourself or someone else.

Watch: Why Can't I Say No To My Friends?

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It can be really tempting to do everything you can to fit in with your friends. Find out how to say "no" and make your own choices.

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Help! I’ve been asked to send a nude! | Childline

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Sharing a nude means you lose control of it, even when it’s with someone you trust.

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It can make you feel powerless when someone's trying to blackmail you, but we're here to help.

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Images sent on sites like Snapchat can still be saved and screenshotted.

It's not okay for someone to pressure you into sending a nude.

Sending or receiving a nude when you're under 18 is against the law.

Not everyone in a relationship will share nudes.

If something goes wrong, there's support to help.

If you've sent a nude and you're worried about what might happen, there are things you can do:

Ask for the message to be deleted
Explain that you're not comfortable with them keeping the picture and ask them to delete it.

Don't reply to threats
Don't reply to someone trying to threaten or blackmail you, and don't send more photos. It can be scary, but it can help you to keep in control

Use Report Remove to get it removed from the internet
If you're under 18 and a nude image or video has been shared online, we can help you get it removed from the internet. Find out how to remove a nude image shared online.

Report what's happened
If you're under 18 and you're worried or being threatened you can make a report to CEOP. Making a report isn't confidential but it does mean that they can help to stop what's happening.

Get help with how you're feeling
Having a nude shared by other people or being threatened isn't your fault. If you're struggling to cope or you don't know what to do, talk to us.

If you've been threatened or you've had images of you shared it can have a big effect on you. Some young people feel guilty, worried or even ashamed of what happened. But it wasn't your fault.

Nobody ever has the right to share images of you without your consent. And if you're struggling to cope, we've got advice to help:

Talk about how you're feeling
Talking about what happened can help you to see things differently and let your feelings out. If you're not sure who to talk to then you can always talk to us.

Report any images that are posted online
You can usually make a report of images posted of you to the website they're on. If you're under 18, you can also report what's happened to the IWF anonymously and they can help you to take them down.

Get help with bullying
Being bullied is never okay. If you're being made fun of or hurt after what's happened, we've got advice to help.

Sharing nudes, dick pics, videos or sexual messages with someone who doesn't consent to receive them isn't okay. And it can be against the law.

There are lots of reasons you might want to send a nude. But if you're not sure whether you should or you're being pressured by friends, it can help to talk to an adult you trust about what's happened.

If you've shared a message or picture with someone who doesn't want it:

Apologise about what you've sent

Stop contacting the person if they don't want you to talk to them

Don't pressure the person to send images or messages back

Talk to someone you trust about what happened

Find out more about what should happen in a healthy relationship.

If you're over 18 and someone's shared a naked or sexual picture of you without your consent, they're breaking the law.

Lots of social media sites can take images of you down if you report it, but this may not always happen. If someone is threatening you, or has posted a picture of you online, there's a special Revenge Pornography Helpline to help people who are over 18.

You can also get support from The Mix.

Part of being in a healthy relationship is being able to say what you think without being scared or worried.

Try saying how you feel when you're asked for a nude or sexual message. If someone doesn't listen or you don't feel able to, it can help to talk to us.

It can be tough when your friends talk about sexting or say they're sending nudes. But it can help to remember:

even if someone says they're sending nudes, they might not be

once you send a nude, you lose control of it and it can be shared online or with other people

a good friend should never make you do something that makes you uncomfortable.

Try our advice on standing up to friends.

When you're under 18 it's against the law to send nudes or sexual videos of you to anyone else. It's also against the law for anyone to save or share a nude or sexual video of you. Even if it's a selfie or they're under 18 too.
Will I get in trouble?
You can get in trouble if you threaten to share a nude, even if you don't actually do it.

Only the police can decide if they're going to charge you with an offence after sexting. But it's important to remember that the law is there to protect you, not get you into trouble.

If you're both under 18 and you're in a healthy relationship, then it's unlikely the police would want to prosecute either of you.

Sexting between adults is legal. But it's against the law to send a nude or any kind of sexual image or video to someone under 18.

Asking for or viewing sexual images of someone who's under 18 is a crime.

It's also against the law to send a nude or video of someone who was under 18 at the time, but is an adult now.
Sharing other people's nudes
Sharing someone else's nudes or sexual videos without their consent is against the law, even when they're over 18. It can also be against the law to threaten to share someone's nudes or videos.

Snaps automatically disappear once the person you sent them to has seen them. But they can still take screenshots and save them. That means that they'll have a copy of the photo even after Snapchat deletes it.

Follow our instructions below or find more information at the Snapchat website.
Make a report
If you receive an abusive or worrying message. It can help to take a screenshot so you've got a record. The person who messaged you will see if you've taken a screenshot, so it's important to think about how they might react if they knew.

If someone's bullying or harassing you, or sending naked pictures you can report that person to Snapchat.

To make a report:

In the app, go to the person's Snapchat account

Press the 3 dots or the cog wheel

Press 'Report'

To report a Snapchat or Snapchat Live Story that contains nudity or bullying content:
Block someone
Blocking someone on Snapchat will stop them from seeing your story or sending you snaps and chats. It can help if someone's sending you abusive messages.

To block someone:

in Snapchat, open the chat for the person you want to block

press the 3 lines in the top left hand corner

press Block.

The way to report abuse changes depending on what you're reporting. You can find out how to report abuse on the Facebook help page or by reading Facebook information on reporting and blocking.
Report bullying, sexting or nude images
Most naked images are against Facebook's rules and naked pictures of someone under 18 are never allowed.
To report a naked picture of you, bullying or something you've seen on a live video
On the Facebook app:

select the 3 dots in the top right hand corner of the post or photo

select to leave feedback or report

if you have to leave feedback, select to report the post afterwards

you'll be asked some questions about why you're making a report.

You can also fill out Facebook's form to report an image or select what best describes what you want to report. Facebook won't tell the person you're reporting that it was you. They'll tell you in your Support Inbox if they've been able to take the picture down.
To report something on Facebook Messenger
In the app:

You can also make a report to Facebook by filling in this form even if you don't have an account.
Facebook has lots of information on how to report other types of content that's being used to bully or threaten you.

Reports are anonymous so the person doing the bullying won't know who reported it. Facebook will tell you in your Support Inbox if they've been able to help.

Have a look at Facebook's page on privacy to change your privacy settings and control who sees your profile and posts.

You can also hide someone on Facebook. This means that you won't see their posts in your newsfeed, but you'll still be friends with them.

Instagram is automatically set to public so that anyone can see your images - even if you don't know them. Setting your profile to private can help to stop bullying and keep you safe. Find out more about changing your privacy settings.

Live streams shared to your followers will disappear after they've finished unless you add them to your story. But people are still able to screenshot or record it and Instagram can't delete this.

Most naked images are against Instagram's rules and naked pictures of someone under 18 are never allowed.
Report a naked image or something you find threatening
In the app:

press the 3 dots in the top right hand corner above the picture or video

select Report

select the reasons you want to report the image.

If someone is bullying, threatening or sending photos to you via direct message, you can also report that.

In the app:

open the direct message from the person you want to report

press the i in the top right hand corner

select Report and enter the reasons you want to report them

you can also block the person by pressing Block User.

Instagram won't tell someone if they've been blocked. Once they are blocked, they won't be able to find your profile, posts or story on Instagram. But they can still mention you using the '@' sign. Changing your username can be a good way to make sure that they can't mention it.

Find out more about reporting to Instagram.

What you tweet on Twitter is public unless you've set your account to private. This means that anyone can read, retweet and respond to anything you tweet.

Changing your privacy settings is a good way to stop people tweeting or replying to you. It can also help if people are direct messaging you. Find out more about changing your privacy settings.
What to do if you're being bullied

Unfollow anyone who is bullying or harassing you by going to their profile and pressing the 'following' button

Block anyone who is bullying or harassing you by going to their profile, pressing the 3 dots (on Android) or the gear (on iOS) in the top right hand corner and selecting block

Blocking someone stops them from contacting or following you. You can always unblock them if you want to in the future.

If someone creates new accounts to keep harassing you or posts a naked photo of you then you can also make a report to Twitter.

Follow our steps below or read more on WhatsApp's website.

If someone is bullying or harassing you, or sending naked photos of you then you can report and block them. This won't delete any photos they've saved but can get them banned from using the app.

To block or report someone:

go to the chat with the person you want to report

tap on the group or person's name to open their profile

scroll down and press Report

you can also block the person on this page.

Blocking someone on messenger apps means they won't be able to send you nasty messages. Usually the other person won't know that you've blocked them. You'll just appear offline when they look at their contacts.
Can I delete an image I've sent to someone?
When you share images on WhatsApp, the person receiving them will then have copies on their phone, which they can share with people inside and outside of WhatsApp. Even if you delete a message or an image from your chat, others may still have a back-up or screenshot.

Video chatting on WhatsApp isn't recorded automatically, but can still be recorded or screenshotted. Once this happens, you lose control of it.

It's important to remember that when you're using video chat sites like Skype, Omegle and Discord, whoever is watching you can record or screenshot your conversation without your knowledge.

Video chat sites can't delete images or videos that have been screenshotted or recorded. This is because they're saved directly to the person's device.

Some sites do allow you to report if something's happened, find out how to make a report on:

People on Tumblr can ask you questions anonymously, which means you don't know who they really are. Sometimes people decide to send abusive or hurtful messages to other people on Tumblr.

Tumblr does not allow sexually explicit videos or naked photos of people under 18.

If someone is bullying on Tumblr or they've posted a naked photo of you, you can report it here.

You can also block anyone you don't want contact with here.

Tik Tok is automatically set to public, which means that anyone can see what you live stream or the videos you post. Changing your account settings can help to keep you safe and stop abuse. Find out more about setting your account to private.

Tik Tok does not allow sexually explicit videos or live streams, especially when it involves someone under 18. They also don't allow bullying in comments, posts or private messages.

To report a video or live stream:

To report a comment:

To report a chat:

open the conversation you want to report

tap the 3 dots in the corner of the screen

select It's Inappropriate

tap Report

select the reason you're making a report

press Report.

To report an account:

go to the account you want to report

tap the 3 dots in the corner of the screen

tap Report

select It's Inappropriate

select the reason you're making a report

press Report.

Find out more about making a report to Tik Tok.

After you've made a report
Not all sites will take content down straight away, and sometimes they might not take something down when you've made a report.

Remember that you can keep making reports if you are concerned about something, but it can also help to talk to an adult you trust.

Even when you've reported something it can still have an effect on you. No matter what's happening you can talk to Childline or get support from other young people on our message boards.

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Find out about sexting and sending nudes: Why do people do it? Is it legal or illegal? How can someone under 18 get an online image of them removed?

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Top tips to remember:

choose someone you feel safe with

plan what you want to say

make sure it's a good time to talk and that they aren't distracted

you have control over how much you tell someone - you don't have to say everything if you don't want to

you can ask them before you say anything to keep what you've said private.

Writing a letter or leaving a note can be a great way to start a conversation with someone you trust. Especially if telling someone in person seems difficult.

If you're thinking about sending a letter or message, it can help to:

decide who you'll give it to and when

remember you don't need to say everything if you don't want to

think about whether the letter might need to be shared, especially if someone's worried about your safety

be careful about saving it on a shared device

plan what you'd like to do next.

If you're not sure how to start your letter, try downloading our template.

Writing things down isn't always easy. If you're not sure how or you're worried, you can always talk to a Childline counsellor for advice.

Different professionals (like doctors and teachers) have different rules about keeping something they've been told private or confidential. Sometimes they have to pass on certain things, and sometimes it's down to their own personal decision.

If you're worried about confidentiality and what can be kept private, you can ask someone about it before you tell them anything. Most professionals have a responsibility to tell you their policy.

If they're worried about your safety, some adults have to tell someone else. This is so they can help you in the best way.

If you're not sure about talking to Childline, you can read our confidentiality promise.

Sometimes it's hard to know how to bring up a difficult issue, or you might be worried about how someone will react.

Try starting by talking about something else that mentions the issue. It could be anything, like Facebook, TV or a book. Or even something at school.

You could also try saying that you're asking for a friend. Sometimes it's easier to talk when you're pretending you aren't talking about yourself. If the person you speak to is supportive, you could tell them that it's really about you.

Young people have told us:

"I found it hard to tell my dad I have anorexia, so I said: 'What do you think about that person on Hollyoaks who is anorexic?'"

"It was too difficult to say to my grandma that my mum hits me, so I said: 'Today at school we talked about what domestic violence is."

"I first told my mum that I feel low all the time by asking her if she had seen a show on TV about depression."

Watch: Asking an adult for help

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Getting Help BSL Video

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Did you know?

5% of our counsellors think winter is the best time of year. Especially when it snows!

Another fact

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If you have a problem you can't fix on your own, it's a good idea to ask an adult you trust for help. This page is all about helping you find the right person to ask and giving you ways to start a difficult conversation.

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Tips to keep you safe when using your mobile or smartphone.

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Snaps automatically disappear once the person you sent them to has seen them. But they can still take screenshots and save them. That means that they'll have a copy of the photo even after Snapchat deletes it.

Follow our instructions below or find more information at the Snapchat website.
Make a report
If you receive an abusive or worrying message. It can help to take a screenshot so you've got a record. The person who messaged you will see if you've taken a screenshot, so it's important to think about how they might react if they knew.

If someone's bullying or harassing you, or sending naked pictures you can report that person to Snapchat.

To make a report:

In the app, go to the person's Snapchat account

Press the 3 dots or the cog wheel

Press 'Report'

To report a Snapchat or Snapchat Live Story that contains nudity or bullying content:
Block someone
Blocking someone on Snapchat will stop them from seeing your story or sending you snaps and chats. It can help if someone's sending you abusive messages.

To block someone:

in Snapchat, open the chat for the person you want to block

press the 3 lines in the top left hand corner

press Block.

The way to report abuse changes depending on what you're reporting. You can find out how to report abuse on the Facebook help page or by reading Facebook information on reporting and blocking.
Report bullying, sexting or nude images
Most naked images are against Facebook's rules and naked pictures of someone under 18 are never allowed.
To report a naked picture of you, bullying or something you've seen on a live video
On the Facebook app:

select the 3 dots in the top right hand corner of the post or photo

select to leave feedback or report

if you have to leave feedback, select to report the post afterwards

you'll be asked some questions about why you're making a report.

You can also fill out Facebook's form to report an image or select what best describes what you want to report. Facebook won't tell the person you're reporting that it was you. They'll tell you in your Support Inbox if they've been able to take the picture down.
To report something on Facebook Messenger
In the app:

You can also make a report to Facebook by filling in this form even if you don't have an account.
Facebook has lots of information on how to report other types of content that's being used to bully or threaten you.

Reports are anonymous so the person doing the bullying won't know who reported it. Facebook will tell you in your Support Inbox if they've been able to help.

Have a look at Facebook's page on privacy to change your privacy settings and control who sees your profile and posts.

You can also hide someone on Facebook. This means that you won't see their posts in your newsfeed, but you'll still be friends with them.

Instagram is automatically set to public so that anyone can see your images - even if you don't know them. Setting your profile to private can help to stop bullying and keep you safe. Find out more about changing your privacy settings.

Live streams shared to your followers will disappear after they've finished unless you add them to your story. But people are still able to screenshot or record it and Instagram can't delete this.

Most naked images are against Instagram's rules and naked pictures of someone under 18 are never allowed.
Report a naked image or something you find threatening
In the app:

press the 3 dots in the top right hand corner above the picture or video

select Report

select the reasons you want to report the image.

If someone is bullying, threatening or sending photos to you via direct message, you can also report that.

In the app:

open the direct message from the person you want to report

press the i in the top right hand corner

select Report and enter the reasons you want to report them

you can also block the person by pressing Block User.

Instagram won't tell someone if they've been blocked. Once they are blocked, they won't be able to find your profile, posts or story on Instagram. But they can still mention you using the '@' sign. Changing your username can be a good way to make sure that they can't mention it.

Find out more about reporting to Instagram.

What you tweet on Twitter is public unless you've set your account to private. This means that anyone can read, retweet and respond to anything you tweet.

Changing your privacy settings is a good way to stop people tweeting or replying to you. It can also help if people are direct messaging you. Find out more about changing your privacy settings.
What to do if you're being bullied

Unfollow anyone who is bullying or harassing you by going to their profile and pressing the 'following' button

Block anyone who is bullying or harassing you by going to their profile, pressing the 3 dots (on Android) or the gear (on iOS) in the top right hand corner and selecting block

Blocking someone stops them from contacting or following you. You can always unblock them if you want to in the future.

If someone creates new accounts to keep harassing you or posts a naked photo of you then you can also make a report to Twitter.

Follow our steps below or read more on WhatsApp's website.

If someone is bullying or harassing you, or sending naked photos of you then you can report and block them. This won't delete any photos they've saved but can get them banned from using the app.

To block or report someone:

go to the chat with the person you want to report

tap on the group or person's name to open their profile

scroll down and press Report

you can also block the person on this page.

Blocking someone on messenger apps means they won't be able to send you nasty messages. Usually the other person won't know that you've blocked them. You'll just appear offline when they look at their contacts.
Can I delete an image I've sent to someone?
When you share images on WhatsApp, the person receiving them will then have copies on their phone, which they can share with people inside and outside of WhatsApp. Even if you delete a message or an image from your chat, others may still have a back-up or screenshot.

Video chatting on WhatsApp isn't recorded automatically, but can still be recorded or screenshotted. Once this happens, you lose control of it.

It's important to remember that when you're using video chat sites like Skype, Omegle and Discord, whoever is watching you can record or screenshot your conversation without your knowledge.

Video chat sites can't delete images or videos that have been screenshotted or recorded. This is because they're saved directly to the person's device.

Some sites do allow you to report if something's happened, find out how to make a report on:

People on Tumblr can ask you questions anonymously, which means you don't know who they really are. Sometimes people decide to send abusive or hurtful messages to other people on Tumblr.

Tumblr does not allow sexually explicit videos or naked photos of people under 18.

If someone is bullying on Tumblr or they've posted a naked photo of you, you can report it here.

You can also block anyone you don't want contact with here.

Tik Tok is automatically set to public, which means that anyone can see what you live stream or the videos you post. Changing your account settings can help to keep you safe and stop abuse. Find out more about setting your account to private.

Tik Tok does not allow sexually explicit videos or live streams, especially when it involves someone under 18. They also don't allow bullying in comments, posts or private messages.

To report a video or live stream:

To report a comment:

To report a chat:

open the conversation you want to report

tap the 3 dots in the corner of the screen

select It's Inappropriate

tap Report

select the reason you're making a report

press Report.

To report an account:

go to the account you want to report

tap the 3 dots in the corner of the screen

tap Report

select It's Inappropriate

select the reason you're making a report

press Report.

Find out more about making a report to Tik Tok.

After you've made a report
Not all sites will take content down straight away, and sometimes they might not take something down when you've made a report.

Remember that you can keep making reports if you are concerned about something, but it can also help to talk to an adult you trust.

Even when you've reported something it can still have an effect on you. No matter what's happening you can talk to Childline or get support from other young people on our message boards.

Even if you're replying to support someone, commenting, liking or sharing a post can make it more popular, which may mean more people see it. Commenting can also encourage the bullies to reply or say nasty things back.

You can help someone by reporting posts or people that are bullying on the social media platform. You can also show them how to block people. Encouraging and showing your friend how to block and report people or content on social media can help them know what to do if it happens again.

Talking to someone and letting them know you're there for them can be one of the best ways to support them. It can also help to do things you both enjoy together, like seeing a film or playing sports, to help take their mind off the bullying.

It can be tempting to post negative things back to people who're bullying others online, but sometimes this can make things worse. Ignoring them and posting positive things yourself can help other people to do the same.

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Anyone can be bullied or trolled on social media. It can be really hard to know what to do if it happens to you or someone you know. We can help you to cope and report the bullying.

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You can talk to us

Sometimes bullying can be hard to describe, especially if you're being bullied by friends.

If someone's trying to make you feel bad, that's not okay. We're here to help.

Sometimes bullying can be harassment or threatening behaviour, which is against the law. So if someone keeps making you feel scared on purpose, what they're doing could be illegal.

Harassment can include someone:

lying to you about who they are

threatening to hurt you

sending nasty or offensive messages to you or about you.

Telling someone how you feel can be tough, but it can really help you feel less alone.

You don't need to tell someone everything at once. You could start by choosing one person you trust to talk to. If you can't think of anyone, you can always talk to us.

If you're struggling to say what's happening out loud, you could try:

Taking your mind off what's happening can help you have more energy to cope when things are difficult.

Why not try:

Taking a break from checking your messages
Try muting your notifications and doing something else if people are messaging you online, even if it's just for a short time.

Going for a walk
If you feel it's safe to, go for a walk or run in the park. Or try playing sports.

Creating a maze
Focus on making it as big or complex as you want. If you want to challenge yourself, try making one without taking your pen off the paper.

Distracting yourself right now

If you're struggling with your feelings, try moving away from anything that might distract you and take a few deep breaths. Focus on what's around you and name:

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch or feel

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

Bottling up your feelings can make them hard to cope with. But there are lots of ways you can let them out. Why not try:

Listening to music
Try listening to music that matches how you feel. Or if you want to distract yourself, listen to music that makes you happy or a podcast.

Writing a poem
Write a poem about how you're feeling now. Or keep your mind busy by coming up with limericks or rhyming poems.

Making a comic book
You could make a comic about what's happening, what you'd like to happen or something completely different.

Bullying can have a big effect on your confidence. You might be worried about going out or spending time with people, which can really affect your mental health.

Doing something small every day can really help you to feel better and build your confidence.
Feeling better with positive statements
Saying positive statements to yourself can help when you're feeling low or like the bullying's your fault. You could say them out loud or in your head.

Focus on positive things happening now and try making some up yourself. Or use some of the examples below:

"The bullying isn't my fault"

"I deserve to have a life without bullying"

"Today is only one day"

"Things can change"

"I'm strong enough to keep trying".

Making sure you have a healthy routine and taking care of yourself can have a big impact on your mental health.

Having a healthy routine includes:

making sure you get enough sleep

eating healthily and not having too much junk food

doing something every day that makes you feel good or proud

spending time with people who make you happy

exercising or spending time outside.

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. And if you're worried about it, it's important to get support.

You can talk to your doctor about anything you might be feeling. Big or small. If you're not sure where to start, you can use sites like DocReady to help make a list of your symptoms.

Self-harm and suicide
Lots of young people talk to us about feeling suicidal and wanting to self-harm. If you're feeling this way, it's good to tell your doctor about it or you can always talk to us.

Watch: How to cope after bullying

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Let them know you're there for them
Listening and letting someone who's being bullied know you're there if they want to chat can make a massive difference. Chatting to them regularly and saying you're there for them can help them feel less alone.

Help them to get support
You could offer to go with them to report the bullying and help them think about what they want to say. Or you could help them report it on social media.

Think before you like or comment on something
Liking, sharing or commenting on a post designed to bully someone can make it more popular and visible, even if you're not supporting it. Don't respond to a post, even if you're not sure if it's meant to bully someone.

Help to distract them
Help them to take their mind off things for a short while. You could watch a film, play sports or a game together.

Be positive around people
Whether it's posting positive things online, or being friendly to people at school, being positive can help lots of people to feel better.

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Bullying can happen to anyone. Whether it's online, at home or in school, no one has the right to hurt you or make you feel bad. If you or someone you know is being bullied, we're here to help.

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Block, report and mute people who troll or bully you in games

Take short breaks if you're gaming for a long time

Don't share personal information with people in games

Avoid in-game purchases like loot boxes

Check the age rating of any games you play

Make sure your nickname does not include your:

full name

school's or college's name

date of birth

address or the town you live

mobile number

If you're able to use a profile picture, try using an avatar that doesn't show your face. If you do use a picture, think about whether it shows anything that could be used to identify you, like your school logo or your street name.

When you create your account, it's a good idea to make sure you use a strong password.

Games are a great way to make friends online. But it's important to think about how much you're sharing about yourself.

Be careful about sharing personal details, like your address, phone number, where you go to school or your full name. Even if you only share a few small things over time, someone might be able to use it to find out more about you.

Most online games are open to everyone, that means you could be playing with people much younger or older than you. You might also be much better or worse at the game than the people you're playing with.

Remember, if you're playing with people online:

you can report and mute anyone who's abusive, threatening or who tries to bully you

people might not always be honest about who they are

be careful of scams, and don't accept gifts or offers that seem too good to be true

be nice to the people you're playing with, even if they're not as good at the game.

There can be times when people use games to ask children and young people to share sexual pictures or nudes. People who do this might make you feel like you can trust them, ask you to keep things secret or give you compliments or gifts. This is called grooming.

When you share something online, even in a private message, you lose control of it. If you're talking to someone online and they've asked you to share sexual images or personal details, it can help to talk to someone you trust first, or to a Childline counsellor.

Changing your privacy settings can affect who can see if you're online, who you can play with and whether people can see what games you're playing.

Every game and console is different, so make sure you always check the settings to see what your options are.

Lots of people like to play for as long as they can without stopping. But taking short breaks when you're playing games can help you to stay healthier and stop you from getting bored.

Try taking a break if you're:

not enjoying the game as much as you were when you started

getting angry or upset at other people or the game

feeling tired or hungry

starting to ignore things you need to do, like homework.

Lots of games are free-to-play, so you can download and start them without paying anything. Games like this make money by making you want to buy things, like new skins, loot boxes, items or lives.

If you're tempted to buy things in-game:

Check whether something will cost real world money before you buy anything

Ask the person who'll be paying before you buy anything

Keep track of what you're spending, even if you're buying cheaper things they can end up costing a lot

Don't buy items from websites outside of the game itself

Take time away from the game before you decide whether you still want something

Loot boxes can seem like fun, especially if you get something valuable from them. But they can also encourage you to keep buying them and make you feel like you have to play for longer.

Downloading cheats or mods from websites other than the official game website can be dangerous. Mods can contain viruses that will damage your computer or mobile, and give hackers access to your personal data.

Whenever you can, always use your mobile's app store or download mods from official websites.

Talking to someone about what's happening can help you to think about your gaming differently. They can help support if you're struggling to stop or talk to you about ways you could feel better.

Telling someone about what's happening can be difficult. If you're struggling, you could try writing a letter or talking to a Childline counsellor first.

Remember, if your gaming is affecting your health if you're worried you can always speak to your doctor.

Some young people like to play games to escape from how they feel normally. But if you're struggling with your feelings, there are things you can do to cope.

There are lots of things you can do to feel better. We've got ideas of ways to cope with your feelings, or new things to try that might boost your mood.

Our Childline counsellors are here to talk to you about anything. If you're struggling to cope and don't know what to do, you can speak to them any time.

Changing your gaming habits doesn't always mean you have to stop, especially if gaming is something you enjoy.

Try making a plan of when you should and shouldn't be gaming. If it's stopping you from doing things like homework, you could plan an hour of gaming as a reward after finishing some work.

Changing how often you play games can make you enjoy them more when you do play.

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Advice on staying safe when playing games online.

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Every child deserves to feel safe online - and we all have a part to play. Find out more about online safety from the experts.

Children and young people are online more than ever before.  In fact, 7-16-year-olds who use the internet say that they spend almost four hours a day online ( Childwise, 2021). Plus, half of ten-year olds now own their own smartphone ( Ofcom, 2019)

Not only are children spending more time on the web, but the lines between their online and offline lives are becoming increasingly blurred.

Time spent online can be positive. It offers endless opportunities for young people to make friends, have fun and learn new things - they can learn, play and connect with peers. However, it can also pose real-life dangers - from online bullying and threats to sexual abuse and poor mental health.

As a parent or carer, it can be difficult to navigate all the new platforms and games, let alone talk to your child about online safety.  Whether they're gaming, chatting, posting, or streaming, we want to support parents to help keep children safe online.

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We all want the best for our children, and that includes keeping them safe online. Find out how with our tips and advice.

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Most games consoles have internet access, which means your child can go online and chat with other players or make in-game purchases. On many consoles there are parental controls which allow you to manage which features are available to your child. On some devices you can:

turn off chat functions to stop your child from talking to people they don't know

restrict games based on age

turn off in-game purchases, or set a limit.

Check the website for the console your child has for a parents section and details of features. Some games also allow you to change settings for that individual game.
PlayStation Family Management
On PlayStation consoles you can set up a Family Manager account which allows you to manage different accounts for different children/users. Within this you can manage a range of features, such as restricting communication with other players, restricting content, setting play time controls and set spending limits. See all the features available for PS4 and for PS5.

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If you're worried about what your child's searching for or seeing online, we can help you to set up parental controls and keep them safe.

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Information about online livestreaming and videos

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Information about online livestreaming and videos

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Being behind a screen and a feeling of anonymity may result in children feeling less inhibited or shy. They might end up sharing personal and private information, or acting in a way that they wouldn't act in the real world in front of people.

Talk to your child about this and give them examples of things they shouldn't be sharing, such as age, location, date of birth, telephone number etc. You can help by:

reminding your child not to share any personal information online, like where they live or go to school. Remember to explain that where they're livestreaming could give this information away

making sure their location settings are switched off, so that they're not able to share their location with anyone

talking to your child about the things that they can safely share, like their interests and hobbies.

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Learn what livestreaming and online video apps are and why young people use them. We've got advice to help you understand the challenges and keep your child safe.

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Online life and offline life is just life

For many of us, we see our online lives and offline lives as different, but children are growing up with technology and the internet and for them there isn't a difference; online life and offline life is just life.

Technology can move at an extraordinarily fast pace and it can be difficult to know how to start talking to your child about what they're doing online, who they might be speaking to or discussing the potential risks and issues.

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Talking to your child about online safety

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Sometimes you might be worried about what your child's doing online or who they're speaking to, but not know how to talk to them about it. We've got advice to help.

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Deciding if a game is appropriate

There are four main things that you can consider to help you decide if a game's appropriate for your child to play:

Check the content of the game and any chat function:
Content within games is regulated and rated into age groups based on elements within the game such as sex, violence, gambling, drugs, in-app purchases etc. There are lots of different age ratings around the world, such as PEGI used in the UK. Always check the age rating to help you decide to allow your child to download or play a game - this is normally visible next to the game title within gaming and app stores.

Consider who your child could have contact with whilst using the game:
Consider any communication channels and if there are settings to turn off or limit chat functions. There can be different types of communications, e.g. group chat or private chat.

Communication in a game can increase the risk of bullying (sometimes referred to as being 'griefed' within gaming), being contacted by people they don't know and potentially groomed or exploited. Many games have a means of communication which includes private messaging and private chat. Look out for:

words like 'whisper' or 'private' next to messages if your child is playing in multiplayer games (especially if they are playing with people they don't know offline)

and any suggestion of taking the conversation to other messaging platforms.

Does the game affect your child's behaviour?
The behaviour of your child could be affected by some games, it can include bullying or 'griefing' others, trolling or other inappropriate behaviour. Very intensive games can result in short-term bad behaviour such as poor temper or 'ragequitting', which is getting so upset they stop playing immediately. Ensuring a game's suitability can help, as can limiting playing time.

Does the game have in-app purchasing?
In-app purchases normally enhance the game or gameplay, for example skins (design of the character or weapon) or loot boxes (treasure chests, but you don't always know what is in them). There can often be considerable pressure on children to be unique within their games (new skins) or to be better than others (purchasing power-ups). You should consider settings to turn off in-app purchases, or set a spending limit on the device or app.

Children need to be aware of scams involving free in-game currency (e.g. V-Bucks in Fortnite, or Robux in Roblox). Scam text messages, forum posts and videos may have content advertising free in-game currency. But they're often scams, designed to coax the player into revealing their gamer tag (username) and password in return for currency. This is known as a 'phishing' scam.

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Advice for parents to understand the risks of online games, why children play them and how to help your child play safely.

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Gaming & Mental Health | Parents Guide To Support

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If you are worried that a young person may be negatively impacted by gaming, read our advice on creating a healthy culture around gaming, and find support.

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A website for insight into media that is age appropriate for children

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Common Sense Media: Age-Based Media Reviews for Families

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Common Sense Media is the leading source of entertainment and technology recommendations for families. Parents trust our expert reviews and objective advice.

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Ideas for the best screen-free activities to help you and your loved one’s develop healthy screen time habits.

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How can parents and carers help children get off to a good start using digital devices?

SWGfL has adapted this resource on behalf of the UK Safer Internet Centre Digital with kind permission from the Norwegian Safer Internet Centre.

Devices at home deliver media, entertainment and internet access for the whole family. They also provide new opportunities for creativity and learning.

This guide and poster provides some tips and checklists to help you.

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Designed and Developed by Will Earp, South West Grid for Learning Trust Ltd

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Young People and Screentime - A Good Start

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Devices at home deliver media, entertainment and internet access for the whole family. They also provide new opportunities for creativity and learning. This guide and poster provides some tips and checklists to help you.

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Screen usage is rising and some are being impacted negatively. We offer practical strategies to reduce your child’s screen time.