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Our group aims to study the conflicts and reasons behind them that arise when individuals from diverse cultural backgrounds, shaped by different cultures, engage in transcultural communication through an analysis of the film "The Farewell." As we delve deeper into the examination of this documentary, we recognize the necessity to focus on and explore the disagreements in cultures and social identity within the family and between the family and the outside world and understand why lead to dramatic contrasting reactions. Through this analysis, we seek a more comprehensive understanding of the intricate themes and cultural elements explored in "The Farewell" and how they impact the motivations and behaviors of the characters.

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Positioning the self, Identity and Gender 

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Positioning the self, Identity and Gender 

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This video narrates a conversation between two females
from two cultural and educational backgrounds based on whether female choose marriage or female independence.

Grandmother and her husband have been living in China and have long been influenced by the patriarchal values of the Chinese feudal-style family (Zuo, 2009). According to Bowe et al. (2014), cultural differences in transcultural communication of Positioning the self's perceptions of the roles and ways of speaking are essential for understanding language use is important for understanding social expectations and conventions of language use". In societies with traditional kinship relationships, people become acutely aware of their indebtedness to their children and other offspring, mainly through nurturing, responsibility, and kindness (AL-HAJ, 1995). They can only communicate with each other by phone or video due to the distance. The grandmother feels remorse and sadness for not being able to take care of her granddaughter in person, so she emphasizes to her granddaughter that she wants someone who can take care of her, and constantly conveys the message of female persistent disadvantage in society and the importance of marriage, under the influence of deep-rooted patriarchal values (Yanay, 1990). The granddaughter, who grew up in the United States and was raised with the values of independence and autonomy (Paltridge, 2012), balks at this idea and states that she can take care of herself, i.e., marriage is not a necessity for her.

When the granddaughter asked her grandmother whether her grandmother's significant other could take care of her, the grandmother's answer changed, i.e., it is also good for female to be able to be independent. According to Paltridge（2012), identity is something that people construct and reconstruct continuously in their mutual encounters with the world. It is a "negotiated experience," i.e., "through the experience of the self and the ways in which we and others remake our selves to determine who we are." Grandmother's real-life encounters through associations with her own marital life led to a change in her attitude towards marriage, which changed her answers. According to Paltridge (2012), these identities are also based on shared values, agreed cultural understandings, and ideologies that inform our use of oral and written discourse, i.e., Grandmother's realization that she and her granddaughter are, in fact, both female. With the change of identity, the grandmother, on the one hand, looks at the problem from her own real experience, and on the other hand, looks at the problem from her granddaughter's point of view and no longer commands in the tone of an elder, but returns to her identity as a female, and negotiates with her granddaughter objectively, neutrally, and from a female's point of view (Yanay, 1990), completing the positioning of the identity, examining gender, and spanning the age in transcultural communication.

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This video is about two verbal collisions between a Chinese girl born in the United States and her uncle living in China due to the differences in Chinese and American cultures. The first verbal collision was when the girl forbade his father from smoking, and the uncle stopped this because he believed the girl should not control his father. The second time was about whether the girl should tell her grandma about her grandma's illness.

These two verbal collisions reflect the difference in politeness/face between China and the United States regarding kinship. Politeness/face is a negotiated public image that participants in communication events give each other, which will be affected by the participant's identity, status, and rights (Scollon et al., 2011). The kinship between Chinese and Americans is different due to historical, cultural, and social differences, the difference is mainly reflected in the hierarchical and collectivistic relationships within the family (Scollon et al., 2011). Influenced by the long-term feudal social system and Confucian culture, China has a strict internal hierarchy system within the family. The status level is often affected by seniority, age, and experience. "High-level members" often give "low-level members" money, social connections, and experience, while "low-level members" need to maintain polite and support for "high-level members." The uncle stopped the girl from asking her father to stop smoking even though he knew smoking was harmful to his brother's health. The reason is that the girl's family status is lower than that of her father; she needs to give her father sufficient politeness and face and cannot control her father's behaviour.

In addition, China is rooted in the cultural concept of traditional collectivism, which emphasizes maintaining the harmony and unity of individual behaviour and group concepts and evaluations rather than accommodating individual wishes; the cultural concept of individualism influences the United States and emphasizes individual actions and the satisfaction of personal desires (Jia, 2021). The girl wanted to tell her grandmother about her grandmother's actual illness, but her uncle opposed her again, who had been influenced by collectivism for a long time. The uncle believed that the girl's telling her grandmother about her grandmother's actual illness would only reduce the girl's psychological burden and would not be beneficial to the whole family because he did not know what would happen when her grandmother found out about her condition. Concealing the actual illness from the grandmother could maintain the current family harmony instead.

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In the theory of Communication Accommodation proposed by Howard Giles, “convergence is defined as changing one's communication behavior so that one's communication approach is closer to the communication behavior of others''. (Dragojević et al., 2016) In this clip, the doctor who has studied abroad first accommodates the grandmother's communicative behavior in Chinese and later accommodates the American granddaughter's preference for English in English, which can be regarded as a convergence strategy. In addition to helping the grandmother comprehend him, this behavior makes the American granddaughter feel respected and, as a result, helps the granddaughter, whose Chinese is not very excellent, understand the grandma's illness. Other than that, words have a tremendous influence on our relationships with people both positively and negatively (Spencer-Oatey, 2008). On the one hand, it is important to respect the need of patients' families to hide about their grandmothers' real medical conditions by giving them a positive verbal influence, and on the other hand, it is important not to use language that gives the grandmother a negative verbal influence.

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1.Grandmother and granddaughter represent two generations from different cultural backgrounds, and they exhibit significant differences in their views on marriage and independence. This raises a question:  How can one navigate and address differences in viewpoints and values among family members from diverse cultural backgrounds to foster more rapport relationships?

2. The doctor chooses to communicate with the grandmother and granddaughter in different languages. This raises a question: how might switching between different languages affect the effectiveness of communication? Under what circumstances is it most appropriate to choose a specific language for communication?

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Answer to Q1: Understanding and addressing cultrual differences among family members is definitely complicated but crucial. I believe that communication between family members should be open and respectful in order to foster a more harmonious relationship. Just like the video has demonstrated, there is a safe and open environment within their family, both grandma and granddaughter have expressed their own point of view without being judged by others. During this process, everybody can learn more about each other's culture and values. Meanwhile, sharing positive experiences can help build stronger bonds between family members from different backgrounds. Overall, a respectful environment, open communication, sharing of experiences, careful listening, and patience are the most effective ways to navigate and resolve cultural differences between family members.

Answer to Q2: Switching between different languages in communication, as demonstrated by the doctor's approach, can significantly impact the efficacy of the message conveyed. By communicating in English with the granddaughter, as the granddaughter was born in U.S, the doctor using her mother language can enhance the efficiency of the conversation. Using English not only avoids potentially causing extra emotional distress to the grandmother but also respects the cultural nuances, making the conversation more clear and direct. However, in this particular consideration, where most attendees are native Chinese speakers, conversing in English serves as a form of "encrypted communication." This strategy ensures that specific sensitive information is disclosed only to the intended recipient, shielding it from the broader audience. Moreover, it's essential to note that translating between Chinese and English can introduce contextual or cultural nuances, potentially leading to misunderstandings.

It's better to communicate in the language most familiar to the listener, showing respect and understanding for their linguistic background. But, if a conversation is meant to be more confidential, choosing a different language that fewer people in the environment as a "code" can also be useful.

1. Feedback for the part of politeness/face and kinship:
Regarding the incident that the girl holds the opinion that it's crucial to disclose the true nature of the illness to her grandmother. In contrast, her uncle firmly believes against doing so, you might attribute this difference in perspectives to China's collectivist values, where the well-being and harmony of the group, in this case, the family, take precedence over individual preferences.On the contrary, I have different opinion. In traditional Chinese culture, directly conveying distressing or negative information is often seen as a demonstration of insensitivity or a lack of empathy towards the recipient. Many believe that imparting such news could impose a significant psychological and emotional burden on the individual, particularly if they are already in a vulnerable state due to an ailment. Therefore, I do not think the family well-being take precedence over individual preferences.

2.Feedback for the part of Communication Accomodation Theory (CAT): First of all, I think your explanation of convergence is very clear. There are also analyses that combine ideas and accidents. Although you have summarized a series of behaviors of doctors whose behaviors can reflect convergence, I think if you add some expressions/examples in the clip, the audience will have a clearer understanding of what you have explained. Another point is that in the last part, you mentioned the effect of language on interpersonal relationships, but you only mentioned one sentence, it would be perfect if you could elaborate on it. All in all, I think this part of your explanation is reasonable.

3. Feedback for the part of Positioning the self, Identity and Gender: This discourse between the grandmother and the granddaughter vividly represents the grandmother's two different self-positioning and gender identity. People's ways of speaking are associated with particular roles, activities and personality traits (Cameron & Kulick, 2003). In the first part of this discourse, the grandmother positions herself as an elder. She tells her cares and concerns to her granddaughter that she wants her granddaughter can be taken care of by someone. However, "a person will have a multiplicity of identities or personae which may be at play all at the same time, at different levels of prominence" (Paltridge, 2012). In the second part, when asked about her personal experience, the grandmother positions herself as a female. She enacts and affirms her gendered identity in her discourse of an independent and self-sufficient woman. Overall, I think it's a good analysis for self-positioning, identity and gender.