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Start with a good lead

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I like your story but you should add more

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Don't say omg say oh my gosh

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Start with a good lead

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Damien
I like how you said the boy ran up the stairs in
bold letters.

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Add sound words

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Bray man not supposed to use omg at the start.

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Bray man not supposed to use omg at the start.

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The person did write a good lead

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Gabriella
Hi what I think something is wrong is that they went right in the story before the person went bit by bit

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( Gianna ) Your not supposed to put "OMG" in a story. And maybe you could change some words in there. And the tell more about it. But you still did good.

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( Gianna ) Your not supposed to put "OMG" in a story. And maybe you could change some words in there. And the tell more about it. But you still did good.

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You should add more details

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You should add more details like what color is of the shell or how long did it take you to find it.

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I like how you are doing however maybe instead of omg you can write oh my gosh.

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Good detail .

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You should add more detail to your story and make it longer

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You have good details

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Make it a little longer.

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"I think they should add sound words."

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I like how he said "I found it" in the beginning.

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I think the writer should say oh my gosh no omg

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I thank that you should add details

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I think you should try to add some writing. Like add a better ending, like add something happy, o