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The last 14 weeks have gone by so fast, I'm reeling at the sheer speed of it all. The question WHY TEACH? has been looming over my head since it was posed. In fact, it had been far before then, too. I've learned SO much. Because of my experience at SPCPA, I've gained knowledge on things I want to do (and not do) in my classroom, and I don't even have a classroom yet! Just hearing the way the students at SPCPA fondly speak of their teachers, performing arts and academic educators alike, is a reason to teach. Or, more importantly, a fond reminder of why I'm pursuing this track. I can't wait to see what insights my next service learning school and DirecTrack brings.

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Go wherever you'd like, just read this last!

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Go wherever you'd like, just read this last!

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To continue, SPCPA is unique in that their student body demands to be heard. After the election results came in, I was at SPCPA that Friday. I asked two English teachers how they dealt with the event. Both teachers created safe spaces for their students to grieve and communicate their thoughts/feelings without consequence. Both in their arts and academic classes. I think it's very telling that these students have found a home, a save environment to speak, in their school and their classrooms, whether these rooms are large theaters or filled with desks.

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"Teaching is the vocation of vocations, a calling that shepherds a multitude of other callings."

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"Teaching is the vocation of vocations, a calling that shepherds a multitude of other callings."

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At the beginning of chapter 7, Bill Ayers writes this. I completely agree. People's faces when I say I want to teach say exactly this, but sometimes in a more terrified, mangled way. Teaching is being a shepherd, a leader, and that's no easy job. Helping youth find their passions and also their dislikes can be a taxing job. Everyday at SPCPA, I could see this in small ways. For example, I saw it in Emma, telling me of her trials and tribulations with her online PSEO class, but speaking excitedly of her hopes to write short stories and be an actress. In Ms. Lohman's classroom, I could see how learning was fostered in an approachable way. Her classroom was unlike any other I'd ever been in. She had an assortment of lamps and string lights throughout the room, so she rarely had the harsh fluorescent lights on. Further, she had a bookshelf full of wonderful novels for students to pick up during their 15 minutes of reading time at the beginning of every class or check out to bring home. I think all these things create a healthy, welcoming academic environment. The desks are put in groups of four and five so students can work together on assignments and their flow is steady. The assignments then feel like less pressure because they can work with friends, but also the students want to get them done because if they finish in class, they won't have English homework at home. In fact, the students have the opportunity to tie in their performing arts passions in the academic classrooms and that is crucial to their happiness at SPCPA-- these students chose this school so that their passions could become intertwined with their academic lives.

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"ART URGES VOYAGES" - William Ayers, To Teach: the journey, in comics

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Saint Paul Conservatory For Performing Artists

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So what was I doing and what did I want from this experience?

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So what was I doing and what did I want from this experience?

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As an English major, the fitting setting for me was an English classroom! I was with either 10th or 11th grade. The 10th grade English class focused on World Literature, whereas 11th grade was American Literature. For the first couple weeks, I sat back and observed Ms. Lohman's classroom. Eventually, though, I was reading aloud, helping with assignment, and grading tests. I went into my SPCPA experience hoping to better understand the inner workings of an English classroom from a teacher, rather than a student, perspective. I definitely got that. I quickly grew to dread giving zeros, but I also saw how lovely it can be to form relationships with students-- which, if I'm being honest, is largely why I want to teach. Of course, I want to educate. But education and enjoyment should not be mutually exclusive. I saw relationships between Ms. Lohman and her students that went beyond the academic class and into real life. I even got a taste of it myself with the student, although short.

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The students at SPCPA are truly unlike any I've ever encountered before. They are, hands down, the most fashion forward, outgoing group of kids I've ever met. I remember Zach telling me that "you'll be having a mature, adult conversation with a student and then they'll say something ridiculous and you'll remember that they're teenagers and not adults." That is one thing that stuck with me. Because most of these kids are coming from further districts, they have long commutes using public transportation. I can definitely say I never had to tackle city transportation in high school-- I only lived a block from the front doors of BHS. There were times where I ran into issues with the boisterousness of the students. As I mentioned in my field notes, a student once gave me so much sass, he decided to throw a cup at me. As a result, he had to be written up. That was painful for both myself and the student. I didn't want him to get in trouble! However, other times, I was able to level with students. I could hear out their very mature struggles, both academically and otherwise. A student, who I will call Emma, told me all about her fears of college and requested my aid. In fact, TONS of SPCPA students asked me about the realities and fables of college life. It was a great way to bond and really exciting to hear their aspirations as artists AND academics.

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Why I chose SPCPA and my initial reactions...

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Why I chose SPCPA and my initial reactions...

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When choosing our service learning sites for the semester, I was torn between North and SPCPA (St. Paul Conservatory for Performing Artists). Both schools are drastically different than my own high school. North has a large minority population and small class sizes. SPCPA is a charter performing arts school, with a large LGBT+ population. My high school, Brainerd High School, was quite rural and over 90% white. In the end, I chose SPCPA and I'm glad that my first experience in a school setting since my graduation was at SPCPA. What I wanted out of this experience was something very unlike my own. I got that. I don't have a speck of talent in the performing arts realm, so that potential connection between myself and the students was closed off. However, my first day was really wonderful. My teacher, Ms. Lohman, was welcoming and helpful. Despite being pretty overwhelmed the first day, she was willing to let me go at my own pace and answer any and all questions I had. I drove into the heart of downtown St. Paul with shaky hands and sweaty palms, but left excited to return. I saw before me an overwhelmingly happy and outgoing student body and that made me very hopeful.