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"They've even gone so far to point out examples of Bengali men they know who've married Americans, marriage that have ended in divorce" (Lahiri 125).

In Bengali culture arranged marriages are common between Bengali couples and Gogols parents were surprised and not happy that he was dating an American girl.

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"Well, it's funny to think that all our lives our parents raised us according to the illusion that we were cousins, that we were all part of some makeshift extended Bengali family, and now here we are, years late, and someone actually thinks we're related" (Lahiri 218).

After moving to America, there Bengali parents felt so lonely and distant from their family in Calcutta. They felt the need to create a family from people they could relate to so that they had a group of people who were always there for them. This reinforces the importance of family and feeling like you are surrounding yourself with the people you feel closest to.

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"A bird begins to call. And then he remembers that his parents can't possibly reach him: he has not given them the number, and the Ratliff's are unlisted. That here at Maxine's side, in this cloistered wilderness, he is free." (Lahiri 170)

After going on vacation with Maxine's family into the mountains, Gogol realizes despite his parents wish for him to call home, they won't be able to reach him. The significance of his realization is that he believes he is free from them in the mountains and he doesn't have to talk to them. Gogol portrays his family calling while on vacation with an American family, as a burden and annoyance to him. This proves Gogol's intolerance for his family caring about him, which causes him to feel free from them.

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"...each of them assumes a task his father normally had done. In the morning his mother goes to the mailbox and brings in the paper. Sonia drives into town and does the weekly grocery shopping. Gogol pays the bills, shovels the driveway when it snows." (Lahiri 196)

Now that their father is dead, Gogol and Sonia are forced to take more responsibility in their mother's house. They split up the tasks between themselves and their mother, and also stay together for a while to help out. This marks a huge turning point for Gogol's character, because he had previously resented his parents and tried his hardest to stay away from them, but after the death of his father he felt that he needed to be with his family.

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"He opens up a checking account, writes his new name into course books. 'Me llamo Nikhil,' he says in his Spanish class. It is as Nikhil, that first semester, that he grows a goatee, starts smoking Camel Lights at parties and while writing papers and before exams, discovers Brian Eno and Elvis Costello and Charlie Parker. It is as Nikhil that he takes Metro-North into Manhattan one weekend with Jonathan" (Lahiri 112).

Gogol/Nikhil is adjusting to college life, and becoming more and more comfortable with his independence. He assimilates into life without his parents by opening his own checking account and taking care of himself. Gogol/Nikhil is brought into college life and adjusts to the workload and parties. In addition, he is introduced further into American culture through music. On a deeper level, he becomes acquainted with his new life as Nikhil. He feels distant from his parents and heritage, and as he grows into his new persona, he allows himself to assimilate more into American culture and lifestyle.

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"By now, Gogol is just shy of six feet tall, his body slender, his thick brown-black hair just slightly in need of a cut. His face is lean, intelligent, suddenly handsome, the bones more prominent, the pae gold skin clean-shaven and clear. He has inherited Ashima's eyes, large, penetrating, with body, elegant eyebrows, and shares with Ashoke the slight bump at the very top of his nose" (Lahiri 105)

In this quote, you can see the author is describing what Gogol looks like now in chapter 5. As described, he is older and looks older, with that his features are getting bigger and more prominent with the older he gets.

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Instead it is his knowledge that apart from their affluence, Gerald and Lydia are secure in a way his parents will never be. (Lahiri 151)

As Gogol moves into the Ratliff's house and so their life he realizes things about his parents and their interaction with America. Ashima and Ashoke are both so separate from America that they are absolutely the opposite. They could never be a part of the normal cultures of an American society. They have no true connection and in these ways they are alienated.

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"They were already drunk from the book party, lazily sipping their beers, their cold cups of jasmine tea. All that time, his father was in the hospital, already dead" (Lahiri 184).

The death of his father is Gogol's coming of age moment in his life. He looks back on the events of the day while he is driving to identify his father, and he realizes that while he was having a fun time with Maxine, he missed the last moments of his dad's life. His embrace of Maxine's life and resentment towards Bengali culture causes him to feel guilt for not being there for his father. After he returns from cleaning up the remnants of his father's life, he changes the way he views life, focusing more on Bengali culture and his family than he had in a long time.

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"From time to time his mother asks him if he has a new girl friend. In the past she broached the topic quite defensively, but now she is hopeful, quietly concerned."
(Lahiri 204)

Ashokes death has put a perspective of finality on Ashima's family. She wants her children to be settled and stable before she too is no longer here

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“He is aware that a line has been drawn all the same.”

Chapter 6

Many white people, like Maxine, misunderstand Indian cultures and traditions. There is also a difference between white American lives and the lives of traditional Bengalis. Gogol's inability to understand his own identity plays a role in both American culture and Calcutta, will always divide Gogol, a child of immigrants, from Maxine. In this instance they cannot be a couple because she demands too much of him by expecting him to change to her more traditional American ways.

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"'I'm not,' he persisted. 'I don't get it. Why did you have to give me a pet name in the first place? What's the point?'" (Lahiri 106).

As Gogol grows older he begins to question the traditions of his parents and more specifically their purpose. As he questions them he grows apart from his parents and Bengali culture as a whole, in effect alienating himself from his parents.

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"He wonders if this is how it feels for an obese person to become thin, for a prisoner to walk free. 'I'm Nikhil', he wants to tell the people who are walking their dogs, pushing children in strollers, throwing bread to the ducks" (Lahiri 110).

This quote shows how much the name Gogol impacted his identity and feelings about himself. As soon as his name was changed he instantly felt more comfortable and confident. "Nikhil" gave him a sense of freedom as he describes the feeling saying, "for a prisoner to walk free". Although he believed no one would take him seriously because of his name, he was the only one concerned with it.

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"Plenty of people have changed their names: actors, writers, revolutionaries, tranvestites. In history class, Gogol has learned that European immigrants had their names changed at Ellis island, that slaves renamed themselves once they were emancipated." (Lahiri 104)

One of the biggest ways people are assimilated or Americanized is the change of their name. This is made evident throughout U.S. history as well as the events of Gogol's life. If a person's name wasn't American enough when coming to the United States, they would often times have it changed for them or even change it themselves.

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"Quickly, simultaneously, he falls in love with Maxine, the house, and Gerald and Lydia's mannar of living, for to know her and love her is to know and love all of these things" (Lahiri 147)

Nikhil is developing his own identity outside of his parents life and in the city. He is now living with his new girlfriend Maxine and he is adapting their style of like and it is now creating a new identity and a new viewpoint of the world for Nikhil where is adopts some of their cultures and practices.

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"She no longer dusts, or notices dust, for that matter. She eats on the sofa, in front of the television, simple meals of buttered toast and dal, a single pot lasting her a week and an omelette to go with it if she has energy to bother" (Lahiri 174).

Ashima, Gogol's mother, has started growing old and she is getting tired and too lazy to continue many Bengali traditions. She also is living alone most of the time and has no motivation to do what she is supposed to do (continue traditions).

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"But now it is his room at Yale where Gogol feels most comfortable. He likes its oldness, its persistent grace... He has fallen in love with the Gothic architecture of the campus, always astonished by the physical beauty that surrounds him..." (Lahiri 115-116).

Gogol/Nikhil has now adjusted to college life. This transition to adulthood shifts Gogol's comfort zone. He now feels more like himself and comfortable in his room at Yale, rather with his own parents. He admires the school, the aura it gives off, the scenery and art. This shows that he has strongly adapted to fitting himself in this new environment. Gogol now cherishes the college lifestyle due to him accepting to adjust.

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¨Don´t bring anything back, his mother told him on the phone, it is not our way¨ (Lahiri 188).

This quote is significant and shows the traditions of Gogol´s family because his mother tells him not to do something because it is not their way. There was benefits to bringing some of the left over food home but because it was an Indian tradition, Gogol is told to throw it away.

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"He decides that it is her familiarity that makes him curious about her," (Lahiri 213)

Nikhil stated before that she was the only girl she had been with that knew his other name and his life, and that make's him like her and want to pursue her more because he doesn't have to hide or deal with introducing his other life and identity which is something that he used to dread in his other relationships, but with her, he feels more comfortable with himself and identity.

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“'I don’t get it. How could you guys name me after someone so strange? No one takes me seriously'” (Lahiri 107).

Gogol hates his name and wants to change it. He thinks he will face alienation if he keeps the name. To him the uniqueness of his name sets him apart from his peers. He thinks people will not take him seriously. Gogol believes that changing his name to Nikhil will stop the isolation he feels he is experiencing.

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"He is aware that his parent, and their friends, and the children of their friends, an all his own ferinds from high school, will never call him anything but Gogol." (Lahiri 110)

Although Gogol change his name to Nikhil,  people he grew up with will call him by what his parent originaly give him. the name Nikhil is not going to change his idenity or personality.

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"But their parents had replied that in America, Bengali friends were the closest thing to family, (Lahiri, 214)"

This quote demonstrates that people tend to feel closer with whom they share cultural backgrounds and or beliefs with. The Ganguli´s were closest with their Bengali friends because they both experienced the struggles of assimilation.

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¨And so, a few months after his father´s death, he stepped out of Maxine´s life for good¨ (Lahiri 201).

This quote shows how his fathers death helped Gogol grow as a person and realize he shouldn´t rely on his girlfriend to make himself feel normal.

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"His parents have expressed with her is one accomplishment in his life about which they are not in the least bit proud or please." (Lahiri 125)

Gogol has an American girlfriend and Gogol parents aren't okay with it because in Bengali tradition he is suppose to date somebody like him but instead he wants to date an American and that's why his parents are mad because Gogol isn't following the tradition