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Gender roles are what cause people to believe that certain things are for men or women only. One example is that, because society has labelled pink a "girl color", it is wrong for a boy to like pink. Another is that a woman should not be a mechanic or a construction worker because these are "men's jobs". These can be very bad because it makes a person feel limited to what they can and can't do in society. It can also have emotional effects because they may be ridiculed or attacked (hopefully only with words) for their interests if it doesn't fit the roles of their gender.

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Gender roles can change someone with how they feel they need to behave and what they should do. It's like a limitation to someone which is so confining. Sometimes it can be taken so far to a certain strictness versus some areas where it is much more relaxed making either one so different from one another which can feel uncomfortable if they two types were together. I believe it is a bad thing. Why should we set standards like that but disapprove if someone breaks them? This world is about understanding yourself and being they way you want to be but we get scrutinized sometimes for doing so. It limits others to have to be a certain way they may not even want to be. Not letting them be who they are can be uncomfortable and not fun. We want to enjoy life, yes? It just makes things less enjoyable for some people.

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Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican Independence Day. It marks the day of Mexican military victory over France. Mexican-Americans in the 1960's claimed Cinco de Mayo as a symbol of ethnic identity.

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Depending on how a person was raised it could be either way. All women are not stay at home wives just like all men aren't working in a doctors office or doing construction. I personally do not like the fact that in movies women are always a sex object or trophy and men are seen as the head of a household.

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When someone's transgender, you should call them by what they want to be called. If you're not sure about someone, I think you should just ask what they'd like to be called. I don't think it's rude to ask because you're showing that you care enough to not mess up and accidentally piss them off. I think if you purposefully call them by the wrong gender that you're being really rude, but if you don't know what they want to be called, I think it's okay(just don't do it again). It's not like you're trying to hurt them or be mean.

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That is a tricky question really. Because I understand that it is appropriate to address everyone by their preferred pronoun, but sometimes it's hard to tell from first glance and they have to inform you of their pronoun. Sometimes people get really pissed if you don't immediately recognize their pronoun, which I think is unfair, considering a lot of times the person didn't have any ill intention, they just didn't know. It would be wrong if they insisted to use the wrong pronoun after being informed.

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What pronoun should you use for someone that is transgendered or gender fluid? Do you call them by what you think they are (mam/sir)? What if you call them by the wrong gender?

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How can gender roles affect an individual? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Explain why.

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The responses made to people's opinion about gender roles were all understanding of the fact that gender roles are very prominent. Some examples used were the double standard of how differently men and women are treated for having sex, that women shouldn't be treated differently from men, and women are hyper-sexualized. Terrell stated that he has seen points to how men and women are treated equally but I would like to know what factors there are because in my opinion women are seen as lower than men in different countries and even in America socially we are lower. Carmen also responded to my D1 but I did not explain myself clearly so she was unable to understand my view point but I agree that educating people of the topic will help with accepting others.

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I really like the quote/phrases you chose. I have been told many times to "act like a lady", and what exactly does that mean? Just being I burp or something that means I'm "not a lady". Because I'm pretty sure I am. The saying "boys don't cry" is complete bullshit in my opinion. I've seen multiple guys cry, and no not just on t.v but in person as well. It just sucks how the world views and portrays women as weak and lower than men. When were basically the exact same! Because our gender of course.

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I would like to apologize in advance for the nudity displayed in the street art below. The work is not to be viewed in a sexual or derogatory way.

The photo shows a male and female watering the flowers on one another's heads. In my opinion the photo represents the human and the ability to let one another grow. We should strive to let one another grow without boundaries. The concept of gender roles restrict a people, it can be more harmful to an individual more than another. When someone is afraid to speak their mind, act or dress how they want, it becomes limiting because they are afraid of how others may think of them or how they may treat them. Without hurtful gender roles I feel some people would feel more comfortable with being who they are and showing their true colors if not shown already.

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(Had to add another)

Here we have the famous actor, Jaden Smith wearing a dress and a flower crown. He's a very interesting individual (via jaden's twitter 👀) but on his own terms he has chosen to wear a dress. According to society, dresses are specifically for women but Jaden has chosen to ignore the social construct of gender roles by going on his own terms and wearing what he likes and feels comfortable in. Personally I think he looks awesome and he's werkin' it. #idwearit (but seriously it's from topshop who wouldn't)

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The quotes are phrases used by many people to encourage them to act a certain way. When it had to do with the male gender it's used to alter someone's mood in an encouraging way and when they're referring to the female gender it is more demeaning. It teaches that being manly equals being strong and these phrases cultivate gender roles.

photo on tumblr

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WHO: Laci Green, men, women, and Disney

WHAT: explains how women and men create adbsurd expectations for everyone

WHEN: posted March 13, 2015; since Disney has created movies

WHERE: in Disney movies, where it is more prevelant in the United States

WHY: because men are created to look strong and brave and very handsome, while women characters need to be saved, beautiful, skinny and submissive. http://h uffpost.com/us/entry/6856186

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Pizza rolls are way better than gender roles.

In a new video for MTV's web series "Braless," YouTube star Laci Green explains how Disney's portrayals of women and men create absurd expectations for everyone. While the harmful effects of of the stereotypical female Disney characters may be more obvious, the gender norms for men in these films are just as troublesome.

"While women in Disney films have often been told that they need a man to save them," Green says in the video. "There's a man that's expected to be the knight and shining armor." That's a lot of pressure for both sides.

In the video Green defines gender roles as the "set of social expectations assigned based on your sex," which are enforced through activities we're assigned to do, clothes we're told wear and the behaviors we're awarded or punished for. Guys are told to be tough, confident and fearless, while women are taught to be nurturing and passive. And what better place to see these stark gender roles than in Disney movies?

As Green notes, the most obvious issue with Disney's portrayal of masculinity is body type. From Hercules to Tarzan and Gaston, almost all of the leading men in Disney movies are big, tall, muscular, straight, able-bodied and (usually) white. "These are some of the subtle indicators that in the perfect Disney fantasy domination is central to being a real man," she says.

"It tells men that they should not only be physically strong but brave, emotionally unwavering, unquestioning in the face of danger, knowing exactly what to do and when to do it or risk looking like a fool."

Watch the full video above.

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This Is How Disney's Gender Roles Hurt Dudes

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Pizza rolls are way better than gender roles. In a new video for MTV's web series "Braless," YouTube star Laci Green explains how Disney's portrayals of women and men create absurd expectations for everyone. While the harmful effects of of the stereotypical female Disney characters may be more obvious, the gender norms for men in these films are just as troublesome.

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WHO: Maria do Mar Pereira and teenagers

WHAT: observed the gender roles of 14 year olds and their interactions between each other

WHEN: article posted August 7, 2014; study over a course of 3 months: not specified when

WHERE: Lisbon, Portugal

WHY: because "masculine" and "feminine' roles can be detrimental to people's physical and mental health

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/08/07/3468380/gender-roles-health-risks/

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Raising children in societies that adhere to rigid gender roles, with fixed ideas about what should be considered "masculine" and "feminine," can actually be detrimental to their physical and mental health, according to a study that observed 14-year-olds' interactions over a three month period.

"Usually we think of gender as natural and biological, but it's not... We actually construct it in ways that have problematic and largely unacknowledged health risks," lead researcher Maria do Mar Pereira, the deputy director for the University of Warwick's Centre for the Study of Women and Gender, explained in an interview with ThinkProgress.

Pereira drew her conclusions after being embedded in a class of teenagers in Lisbon, Portugal. The kids in the study knew they were being observed by Pereira - who participated in all aspects of their everyday lives, including attending classes, eating lunch in the cafeteria, playing on the playground, and joining them on trips to the mall after school - but they didn't know her specific area of focus. In addition to her one-on-one interviews with each teen, her observations allowed her to track the ways they interacted with their ideas about masculinity and femininity.

Pereira observed both boys and girls regulating their behavior in potentially harmful ways in order to adhere to gender norms. For instance, even girls who enjoyed sports often avoided physical activity at school because they assumed it wouldn't be a feminine thing to do, they worried they might look unattractive while running, or they were mocked by their male peers for not being good enough. The girls also put themselves on diets because they believed desirable women have to be skinny.

"All of the girls were within very healthy weights, but they were all restricting their intake of food in some way. So what we're really talking about here is 14-year-old girls, whose bodies are changing and developing, depriving themselves at every meal," Pereira said. "In the extreme, that can lead to things like eating disorders. But even for the women who don't reach the extreme, it can be very unhealthy for them."

Meanwhile, the male participants in the study all faced intense pressure to demonstrate the extent of their manliness, which led to what Pereira calls "everyday low-level violence": slapping and hitting each other, as well as inflicting pain on other boys' genitals. They were encouraged to physically fight each other if they were ever mocked or offended. They felt like they had to drink unhealthy amounts of alcohol because that's what a man would do. And they were under certain mental health strains, too; struggling with anxiety about proving themselves and suppressing their feelings, all while lacking a strong emotional support system.

Ultimately, the study concluded, "this constant effort to manage one's everyday life in line with gender norms produces significant anxiety, insecurity, stress and low self-esteem for both boys and girls, and both for 'popular' young people and those who have lower status in school." The findings ended up forming the basis of a book, Doing Gender in the Playground, about negotiating gender roles in schools.

But it doesn't have to be this way. The teens who participated in the Lisbon study - including the kids who bullied others and the kids who were victims of bullying themselves - weren't happy about the gender roles they were expected to follow. In their one-on-one interviews, they all said they didn't actually like paying so much attention to the right "feminine" and "masculine" behaviors, and just assumed that's what they were supposed to do. When Pereira concluded her research and held a group meeting to explain her results to the kids, they were amazed to learn that everyone was on the same page about that.

"It was a revealing experience for them to be in that room and realize they were all performing and no one was happy about it," she recounted. Slowly, things started to change. Pereira acknowledges it's not like it was "suddenly paradise," but she noticed the kids stopped mocking their peers as much for falling outside the bounds of traditionally gendered behavior. Girls and boys started to become more integrated in athletic activities. There was less physical fighting. And some of the kids' parents even started calling Pereira to tell her about positive changes in their behavior.

Although Pereria's observations took place at a school in Lisbon, she believes her results have widespread implications for Western nations that are subject to similar cultural messages about gender. Indeed, previous research in British and American schools has reached many of the same conclusions as her study. Sociologists agree that children " learn gender" from being subjected to society's expectations, even though pressuring kids to conform to those rigid roles can end up having serious mental health consequences for the children whose parents try to over-correct their behavior. There are countless examples of schools becoming environments where gender stereotypes are strictly policed and kids are even sent home for wearing the "wrong" type of clothing.

The Lisbon findings could also give people hope about the possibility of creating a different kind of approach to these issues. It's important to remember that teens are still shaping their attitudes about what it means to be a man or a woman.

"Sometimes adults think it's impossible to change gender norms because they're already so deeply entrenched. But they're much more entrenched in adults than they are in young people," Pereira pointed out. "It's actually fairly easy to reach young people if you create opportunities for discussion, if you get them to think about their own experiences."

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Forcing Kids To Stick To Gender Roles Can Actually Be Harmful To Their Health

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Raising children in societies that adhere to rigid gender roles, with fixed ideas about what should be considered "masculine" and "feminine," can actually be detrimental to their physical and mental health, according to a study that observed 14-year-olds' interactions over a three month period. "Usually we think of gender as natural and biological, but it's not...

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WHO: Chinese culture: men and women

WHAT: men were seen as the core of the family; gender was discussed in terms of yin and yang: women are yin (passive, soft, receptive, and yielding) while men are yang (assertive, hard, active, and dominating); yin and yang stress that the differences are part of the natural order of the universe

WHEN: traditional Chinese time period: Shang/Zhou dynasty to the early 1900's

WHERE: China

WHY: the societal rules were taught by Confucius

BIAS: traditional Chinese people follow the teachings of Confucius and their society strictly followed the rules

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by Patricia Ebrey

In China from very early times, men have been seen as the core of the family. The ancestors to whom a Shang or Zhou dynasty king made sacrifices were his patrilineal ancestors, that is, his ancestors linked exclusively through men (his father's father, his father's father's father, and so on). When women enter the early historical record, it is often because they caused men problems. Some women schemed to advance their own sons when their husband had sons by several women. Women's loyalties were often in question. In 697 BCE, for instance, the daughter of one of the most powerful ministers in the state of Zheng learned from her husband that the ruler had ordered him to kill her father. After her mother advised her that "All men are potential husbands, but you have only one father," she told her father of the plot, and he promptly killed her husband. The ruler of Zheng placed the blame on the husband for foolishly confiding in his wife. Taken together, accounts of these sorts present a mixed picture of women and the problems they presented for men in the nobility. The women in their lives were capable of loyalty, courage, and devotion, but also of intrigue, manipulation, and selfishness.

Confucius probably took for granted these sorts of attitudes toward women, common in his society. He greatly esteemed ancestral rites and related family virtues such as filial piety. He hoped that through the practice of ritual everyone, male and female, high and low, old and young, would learn to fulfill the duties of their roles. Women's roles were primarily kinship roles: daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, and mother-in-law. In all these roles, it was incumbent on women to accord with the wishes and needs of closely-related men: their fathers when young, their husbands when married, their sons when widowed. Confucius's follower Mencius declared that the worst of unfilial acts was a failure to have descendants (Mencius 4A.26). In later centuries this emphasis on the necessity of sons led many to be disappointed at the birth of a daughter.

In the centuries after Confucius, it became common for writers to discuss gender in terms of yin and yang. Women were yin, men were yang. Yin was soft, yielding, receptive, passive, reflective, and tranquil, whereas yang was hard, active, assertive, and dominating. Day and night, winter and summer, birth and death, indeed all natural processes occur though processes of interaction of yin and yang. Conceptualizing the differences between men and women in terms of yin and yang stresses that these differences are part of the natural order of the universe, not part of the social institutions artificially created by human beings. In yin yang theory the two forces complement each other but not in strictly equal ways. The natural relationship between yin and yang is the reason that men lead and women follow. If yin unnaturally gains the upper hand, order at both the cosmic and social level are endangered.

Maintaining a physical separation between the worlds of men and the worlds of women was viewed as an important first step toward assuring that yin would not dominate yang. The Confucian classic the Book of Rites stressed the value of segregation even within the home; houses should be divided into an inner and an outer section, with the women staying in the inner part. One poem in the Book of Poetry concluded: "Women should not take part in public affairs; they should devote themselves to tending silkworms and weaving." A similar sentiment was expressed in the Book of Documents in proverbial form: "When the hen announces the dawn, it signals the demise of the family."

During Han times (202 BCE - 220 CE), both the administrative structure of the centralized state and the success of Confucianism helped shape the Chinese family system and women's place in it. Han laws supported the authority of family heads over the other members of their families. The family head was generally the senior male, but if a man died before his sons were grown, his widow would serve as family head until they were of age. The law codes of the imperial period enforced monogamy and provided a variety of punishments for bigamy and for promoting a concubine to the status of wife. Men could divorce their wives on any of seven grounds, which included barrenness, jealousy, and talkativeness, but could do so only if there was a family for her to return to. There were no grounds on which a woman could divorce her husband, but divorce by mutual agreement was possible.

Much was written in Han times on the virtues women should cultivate. The Biographies of Exemplary Women told the stories of women from China's past who had given their husbands good advice, sacrificed themselves when forced to choose between their fathers and husbands, or performed other heroic deeds. It also contained cautionary tales about scheming, jealous, and manipulative women who brought destruction to all around them. Another very influential book was written by Ban Zhao, a well-educated woman from a prominent family. Her Admonitions for Women urged girls to master the seven virtues appropriate to women: humility, resignation, subservience, self-abasement, obedience, cleanliness, and industry.

By the end of the Han period, the Confucian vocabulary for talking about women, their natures, their weaknesses, and their proper roles and virtues was largely established. The durability of these ways of thinking undoubtedly owes much to continuities in the family system, which from Han times on was patrilineal, patrilocal, and patriarchical, and allowed concubinage. At marriage a woman had to move from the household of her father to that of her husband's parents. Given the importance assigned to continuing the ancestral sacrifices through patrilineal descendants, a wife's standing within her family of marriage depended on the birth of male heirs. Yet, because of the practice of concubinage, even if a wife bore sons, her standing could be undermined if her husband took concubines who also bore sons. Thus, so long as the family system continued without major change, women would continue to resort to strategies that seemed petty or threatening to men, and not until a woman became a grandmother was she likely to see the interests of the family in the same way men in the family did. To most of those who left written record, however, the problem did not lie in the family system, but in moral lapses. Thus, moralists held up models of self-sacrificing women for emulation, women who adhered to principles of loyalty, chastity, and faithfulness, often at great personal cost.

By Song (960-1279) times, historical sources are diverse enough to see that women undertook a wide range of activities never prescribed in Confucian didactic texts. There were widows who ran inns, midwives delivering babies, pious women who spent their days chanting sutras, nuns who called on such women to explain Buddhist doctrine, girls who learned to read with their brothers, farmers' daughters who made money by weaving mats, childless widows who accused their nephews of seizing their property, wives who were jealous of the concubines their husbands brought home, and women who drew from their dowries to help their husband's sisters marry well.

It is often said that the status of women began to decline in the Song period, just when Neo-Confucianism was gaining sway. The two signs of this decline most frequently mentioned are the pressure on widows not to remarry and the practice of binding young girls' feet to prevent them from growing more than a few inches long. Foot binding seems to have steadily spread during Song times, and explanations for it should be sought in Song circumstances, but widow chastity had very little specific connection to the Song, the idea predating the Song and the exaggerated emphasis on it developing much later.

Foot binding was never recommended by Confucian teachers; rather, it was associated with the pleasure quarters and with women's efforts to beautify themselves. Mothers bound the feet of girls aged five to eight, using long strips of cloth. The goal was to keep their feet from growing and to bend the four smaller toes under to make the foot narrow and arched. Foot binding spread gradually during Song times but probably remained largely an elite practice. In later centuries, it became extremely common in north and central China, eventually spreading to all classes. Women with bound feet were less mobile than women with natural feet, but only those who could afford servants bound their feet so tight that walking was difficult.

By contrast, the idea of widow chastity was not new in Song times. Ban Zhao had written, "According to ritual, husbands have a duty to marry again, but there is no text that authorizes a woman to remarry." The increased emphasis on widow chastity has usually been blamed on the Neo-Confucian philosopher Cheng Yi, who once told a follower that it would be better for a widow to die of starvation than to lose her virtue by remarrying. In later centuries, this saying was often quoted to justify pressuring widows, even very young ones, to stay with their husband's family and not marry someone else. One reason widows in Yuan (Mongol) (1215-1368) and Ming (1368-1644) times might have wanted to remain with their husbands' families is that they no longer could take their dowries into a new marriage. When the husband's family did not want to provide support for a son's widow, the moral stricture against remarriage would have helped the widow insist that she be allowed to stay and adopt a son.

By the early Qing period (1644-1911), the cult of widow chastity had gained a remarkably strong hold, especially in the educated class. Childless widows might even commit suicide. Young women whose weddings had not yet taken place sometimes refused to enter into another engagement after their fiancé died. Instead, they would move to their fiancé's home and serve his parents as a daughter-in-law. Although most Confucian scholars and government officials disapproved of widow suicide and chaste fiancées, they often expressed great admiration for the determination of particular women they knew, thus helping spread the custom.

At the same time that widow chastity was becoming more prevalent, more and more women were learning to read and write. In the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries a surprising number had their poetry published. Women with poetic talents figure prominently in the great eighteenth-century novel, The Dream of Red Mansions (also called Story of the Stone). Although the male hero, Baoyu, is a young man of great sensitivity, several of his female cousins are even more talented as poets. Some women in this large fictional family have considerable power-especially the grandmother who can force her sons and nephews to do what she wants, and the daughter-in-law who handles the family's finances. The young unmarried women, however, may have been able to acquire literary educations as good as the boys, but they had even less control over their fates than he had.

As in much of the rest of the world, in twentieth century China, intellectuals and social activists leveled many criticisms against the old family system and especially the ways it limited women's chances. Foot binding, widow chastity, parental control of marriage, and concubinage have all been eliminated. It should always be kept in mind, however, that a great many women were able to fashion satisfying lives under the old system.

Additional Background Reading on Asia

How Confucianism, Daoism, and Buddhism complement one another. Read on to learn about the "fourth teaching."

How the development of writing, paper, the printing press, and internet continues to change China.

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by Patricia Ebrey
In China from very early times, men have been seen as the core of the family. The ancestors to whom a Shang or Zhou dynasty king made sacrifices were his patrilineal ancestors, that is, his ancestors linked exclusively through men (his father's father, his father's father's father, and so on). When women enter the early historical record, it is often because they caused men problems. Some women schemed to advance their own sons when their husband had sons by several women. Women's loyalties were often in question. In 697 BCE, for instance, the daughter of one of the most powerful ministers in the state of Zheng learned from her husband that the ruler had ordered him to kill her father. After her mother advised her that "All men are potential husbands, but you have only one father," she told her father of the plot, and he promptly killed her husband. The ruler of Zheng placed the blame on the husband for foolishly confiding in his wife. Taken together, accounts of these sorts present a mixed picture of women and the problems they presented for men in the nobility. The women in their lives were capable of loyalty, courage, and devotion, but also of intrigue, manipulation, and selfishness.

Confucius probably took for granted these sorts of attitudes toward women, common in his society. He greatly esteemed ancestral rites and related family virtues such as filial piety. He hoped that through the practice of ritual everyone, male and female, high and low, old and young, would learn to fulfill the duties of their roles. Women's roles were primarily kinship roles: daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, and mother-in-law. In all these roles, it was incumbent on women to accord with the wishes and needs of closely-related men: their fathers when young, their husbands when married, their sons when widowed. Confucius's follower Mencius declared that the worst of unfilial acts was a failure to have descendants (Mencius 4A.26). In later centuries this emphasis on the necessity of sons led many to be disappointed at the birth of a daughter.

In the centuries after Confucius, it became common for writers to discuss gender in terms of yin and yang. Women were yin, men were yang. Yin was soft, yielding, receptive, passive, reflective, and tranquil, whereas yang was hard, active, assertive, and dominating. Day and night, winter and summer, birth and death, indeed all natural processes occur though processes of interaction of yin and yang. Conceptualizing the differences between men and women in terms of yin and yang stresses that these differences are part of the natural order of the universe, not part of the social institutions artificially created by human beings. In yin yang theory the two forces complement each other but not in strictly equal ways. The natural relationship between yin and yang is the reason that men lead and women follow. If yin unnaturally gains the upper hand, order at both the cosmic and social level are endangered.

Maintaining a physical separation between the worlds of men and the worlds of women was viewed as an important first step toward assuring that yin would not dominate yang. The Confucian classic the Book of Rites stressed the value of segregation even within the home; houses should be divided into an inner and an outer section, with the women staying in the inner part. One poem in the Book of Poetry concluded: "Women should not take part in public affairs; they should devote themselves to tending silkworms and weaving." A similar sentiment was expressed in the Book of Documents in proverbial form: "When the hen announces the dawn, it signals the demise of the family."

During Han times (202 BCE - 220 CE), both the administrative structure of the centralized state and the success of Confucianism helped shape the Chinese family system and women's place in it. Han laws supported the authority of family heads over the other members of their families. The family head was generally the senior male, but if a man died before his sons were grown, his widow would serve as family head until they were of age. The law codes of the imperial period enforced monogamy and provided a variety of punishments for bigamy and for promoting a concubine to the status of wife. Men could divorce their wives on any of seven grounds, which included barrenness, jealousy, and talkativeness, but could do so only if there was a family for her to return to. There were no grounds on which a woman could divorce her husband, but divorce by mutual agreement was possible.

Much was written in Han times on the virtues women should cultivate. The Biographies of Exemplary Women told the stories of women from China's past who had given their husbands good advice, sacrificed themselves when forced to choose between their fathers and husbands, or performed other heroic deeds. It also contained cautionary tales about scheming, jealous, and manipulative women who brought destruction to all around them. Another very influential book was written by Ban Zhao, a well-educated woman from a prominent family. Her Admonitions for Women urged girls to master the seven virtues appropriate to women: humility, resignation, subservience, self-abasement, obedience, cleanliness, and industry.

By the end of the Han period, the Confucian vocabulary for talking about women, their natures, their weaknesses, and their proper roles and virtues was largely established. The durability of these ways of thinking undoubtedly owes much to continuities in the family system, which from Han times on was patrilineal, patrilocal, and patriarchical, and allowed concubinage. At marriage a woman had to move from the household of her father to that of her husband's parents. Given the importance assigned to continuing the ancestral sacrifices through patrilineal descendants, a wife's standing within her family of marriage depended on the birth of male heirs. Yet, because of the practice of concubinage, even if a wife bore sons, her standing could be undermined if her husband took concubines who also bore sons. Thus, so long as the family system continued without major change, women would continue to resort to strategies that seemed petty or threatening to men, and not until a woman became a grandmother was she likely to see the interests of the family in the same way men in the family did. To most of those who left written record, however, the problem did not lie in the family system, but in moral lapses. Thus, moralists held up models of self-sacrificing women for emulation, women who adhered to principles of loyalty, chastity, and faithfulness, often at great personal cost.

By Song (960-1279) times, historical sources are diverse enough to see that women undertook a wide range of activities never prescribed in Confucian didactic texts. There were widows who ran inns, midwives delivering babies, pious women who spent their days chanting sutras, nuns who called on such women to explain Buddhist doctrine, girls who learned to read with their brothers, farmers' daughters who made money by weaving mats, childless widows who accused their nephews of seizing their property, wives who were jealous of the concubines their husbands brought home, and women who drew from their dowries to help their husband's sisters marry well.

It is often said that the status of women began to decline in the Song period, just when Neo-Confucianism was gaining sway. The two signs of this decline most frequently mentioned are the pressure on widows not to remarry and the practice of binding young girls' feet to prevent them from growing more than a few inches long. Foot binding seems to have steadily spread during Song times, and explanations for it should be sought in Song circumstances, but widow chastity had very little specific connection to the Song, the idea predating the Song and the exaggerated emphasis on it developing much later.

Foot binding was never recommended by Confucian teachers; rather, it was associated with the pleasure quarters and with women's efforts to beautify themselves. Mothers bound the feet of girls aged five to eight, using long strips of cloth. The goal was to keep their feet from growing and to bend the four smaller toes under to make the foot narrow and arched. Foot binding spread gradually during Song times but probably remained largely an elite practice. In later centuries, it became extremely common in north and central China, eventually spreading to all classes. Women with bound feet were less mobile than women with natural feet, but only those who could afford servants bound their feet so tight that walking was difficult.

By contrast, the idea of widow chastity was not new in Song times. Ban Zhao had written, "According to ritual, husbands have a duty to marry again, but there is no text that authorizes a woman to remarry." The increased emphasis on widow chastity has usually been blamed on the Neo-Confucian philosopher Cheng Yi, who once told a follower that it would be better for a widow to die of starvation than to lose her virtue by remarrying. In later centuries, this saying was often quoted to justify pressuring widows, even very young ones, to stay with their husband's family and not marry someone else. One reason widows in Yuan (Mongol) (1215-1368) and Ming (1368-1644) times might have wanted to remain with their husbands' families is that they no longer could take their dowries into a new marriage. When the husband's family did not want to provide support for a son's widow, the moral stricture against remarriage would have helped the widow insist that she be allowed to stay and adopt a son.

By the early Qing period (1644-1911), the cult of widow chastity had gained a remarkably strong hold, especially in the educated class. Childless widows might even commit suicide. Young women whose weddings had not yet taken place sometimes refused to enter into another engagement after their fiancé died. Instead, they would move to their fiancé's home and serve his parents as a daughter-in-law. Although most Confucian scholars and government officials disapproved of widow suicide and chaste fiancées, they often expressed great admiration for the determination of particular women they knew, thus helping spread the custom.

At the same time that widow chastity was becoming more prevalent, more and more women were learning to read and write. In the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries a surprising number had their poetry published. Women with poetic talents figure prominently in the great eighteenth-century novel, The Dream of Red Mansions (also called Story of the Stone). Although the male hero, Baoyu, is a young man of great sensitivity, several of his female cousins are even more talented as poets. Some women in this large fictional family have considerable power-especially the grandmother who can force her sons and nephews to do what she wants, and the daughter-in-law who handles the family's finances. The young unmarried women, however, may have been able to acquire literary educations as good as the boys, but they had even less control over their fates than he had.

As in much of the rest of the world, in twentieth century China, intellectuals and social activists leveled many criticisms against the old family system and especially the ways it limited women's chances. Foot binding, widow chastity, parental control of marriage, and concubinage have all been eliminated. It should always be kept in mind, however, that a great many women were able to fashion satisfying lives under the old system.

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by Patricia Ebrey In China from very early times, men have been seen as the core of the family. The ancestors to whom a Shang or Zhou dynasty king made sacrifices were his patrilineal ancestors, that is, his ancestors linked exclusively through men (his father's father, his father's father's father, and so on).

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WHO: Pamela Rose William

WHAT: being a married woman under Jesus Christ has made her a better wife and knowing her role as the wife has changed her marriage positively

WHEN: after becoming a strong Christian woman

WHERE: Christianity should be followed by anyone and everyone all over the world

WHY: as told in the Holy Bible, Eve was created from Adam's rib which means woman is to be submissive under man; woman were created for man
BIAS: the beliefs are solely for people who are Christian

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I have been a wife for more than half of my life. This is not to say that I have been a good wife and I will never be the perfect wife this side of heaven. I was married before I knew the Lord and as was said by Robert Driskell in his article entitled The Role of the Husband in a Christian Marriage "being a follower of Jesus Christ changes people". I would like to say that knowing the Lord has made me a better wife and knowing my role as the wife has changed my marriage in the best way. In this article I will share with you what I have learned from the Bible about the role of the wife in a Christian marriage. For the most part I am speaking to Christian wives and women who desire to be good Christian wives. I ask that you prayerfully consider these concepts and guidelines and then see what happens when you take them to heart and apply them to your own life.

Woman was created by God for a purpose

When we read the Genesis account of Creation, we see that " So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them" (Genesis 1:27). This is a general statement that is further explained as we read on in the book of Genesis. Details in the book show that the animals and every other creature were created before man and then man was given dominion over them (Genesis 1:28).

Fast forward to Genesis chapter 2 and we learn that as man (Adam) was naming all of the animals (the birds of the air, the cattle and every beast of the field) he did not find one that would help to meet his own need of a mate. And so our great God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep at which time God took one of Adam's ribs and made a woman. Adam saw the woman and named her "woman" because she was now bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh (Genesis 2:20-23).

At the end of Genesis chapter 2 we see for what purpose the woman was made:

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

Woman was made by God for man. Her main purpose on earth is to be in a one flesh relationship with her husband. This is God's original design and as we read through the Bible we find more truth for the role of the wife.

A wife should follow her husband's leadership

As we get into chapter 3 of Genesis we read of the fall of man (and woman). We see how Eve was left to herself in the garden and she was tempted and deceived by the serpent, who led her to eat from the tree in the midst of the garden that had been forbidden by God (Genesis 2:17). This command was given to Adam and he must have told his wife the one and only rule that they had in the garden - don't eat from that tree - because we see that she repeats it to that serpent here:

And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. (Genesis 3:2-3)

Eve did not follow her husband's leadership when he told her the one rule she could not break and the result was sin. After this first sinful act (in which Adam also participated - Genesis 3:6) God further defined the role of the husband and the wife as follows:

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. (Genesis 3:16-19)

"... and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." The idea of the wife being in submission to the husband is not something that was made up by some women's rights organization. This is how God made it. God gave Adam a wife to "help meet" his needs. She was designed for him and when she started doing things out of the lust of her own flesh the result was sin. This is very true in our marriages today. God gave us a husband to lead us and when we go against his godly leadership many times we fall into sin. Every partnership needs a leader, when we refuse to be led by our husband we are going against a fundamental biblical principle set by God. When we go against our husband's leadership; we are going against God's design for us. If you disagree with this, then you disagree with God and I pray that you will have a change of mind and agree with God's plan. The only exception to this is when our husband tells us to do something contrary to what God's word tells us to do. I can say from my own experience, following my husband's leadership is the best choice I have ever made in our marriage.

A wife should care for her husband

Your husband's job is to provide for you (as we saw in Genesis 3 above). He is made to work hard for provision. I understand there are circumstances in which the husband is not able to work - he is physically unable. In this case the wife may work outside of the home. Even so, you were created to "help meet" his needs and one of them is his need to have a comfortable living environment. When he comes home from work, you should have a meal prepared for him. His house should be tidy and his laundry should be clean. The children should be trained to understand that "Daddy" has worked hard all day and he will spend time with them after he spends time with you. A few minutes when hubby comes home from work is essential to your relationship with him. Spend 15 to 20 minutes just talking - the two of you. Do this before children ever come into your marriage and then when the children come, teach them that this is "Mommy and Daddy's time". Theirs will come when you are finished.

Another thing that a husband needs is a close physical relationship. A good morning kiss and a kiss when he leaves for work are essential. A hug and a kiss when he returns home and your heartfelt desire to "welcome" him home is something he deserves. Other physical relations are also necessary. Plan time to spend in the bedroom; just the two of you. Your husband loves you and knows that you may not always be able to have the physical relations that he would like. This is to be expected, but this should be the exception rather than the rule. Make special time just for him - get your needed rest so you can enjoy each other. Make a "date night" regularly, even if it is just to go out and get some fast food, or take a walk in the park. My husband and I do not have lots of money for date time so we look for creative ways to enjoy time together. I remember one time when I planned a beach picnic for supper - in the dead of winter up north! I put on some Beach Boys music in the bedroom, laid beach towels on the bed and made a picnic meal. I put on my swimsuit and tied my hair in a ponytail. I rubbed down with some tropical oil so the "smell of the beach" would be in the bedroom. When he arrived home from work I gave him instructions to change into his swim clothes (which I hung in the bathroom) and then join me "ocean side". This was a cost free date and we made a great memory too! Feel free to use this idea for your own special time.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. (Proverbs 5:18-19)

A wife must be careful what she says; love him

Gossip and backbiting destroys

It is so easy to get caught up in gossip when we are with our girlfriends. I am sometimes just astounded at what some women will say about their husbands. Our husband should be the most important relationship we have - next to our relationship with God. We must be careful what we say about him. Our conversation (including our body language) should be always kind and tenderhearted. We must remember that we are walking, talking examples of someone who is indwelled with the Holy Spirit. We should display only the fruit that is produced of the Holy Spirit, therefore the conversation we have about our husband should resemble the following scripture:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-25)

Do you love him enough to live for him?

Ladies, how much do you love your husband? Truly the Bible tells us that a husband should love his wife enough that he is willing to die for her (Ephesians 5:25); but what about the wife? The original design for us is to live for our husband because he is our earthly representative of Christ (Ephesians 5:23). We were created for him and from him. We were created to bare his children. We were made to have desire for him only. This means that his needs must come before our own. Remember, I am talking to the ladies here and know that your love for your husband is independent of his love for you. What I mean to say is, you cannot control how he is toward you, but you can make a daily choice to love him in spite of how he loves you. Our biblical command to love one another is simple and it comes right out of the mouth of Jesus: "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another" (John 13:34).

Conclusion

Today's world views have distorted the biblical truth that woman was created for man. As Christian wives, when we get back to the fundamentals we can be the best wife that God has made us to be. God's design is perfect and although we will never be perfect this side of heaven, we can strive to follow our husband's leadership, care for him, respect him in all manner of our conversation and live our life to help meet his needs. The marriage relationship on earth is a living representation of Christ's relationship to the church, His bride (Ephesians 5:21-33). When we unselfishly love and live for our husband we glorify Christ and teach the world the true role of the Christian wife. God knows best and when we agree with Him our marriages will be blessed. It is a daily choice, are you choosing to follow God's way?

Here are some more articles that might interest you:

Resources:

The Holy Bible, King James Version

Tagged as: husband, Marriage, role of wife in Christian marriage, wife

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role of the wife in a christian marriage

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The Role of the Wife in a Christian Marriage

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I have been a wife for more than half of my life. This is not to say that I have been a good wife and I will never be the perfect wife this side of heaven.

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WHO: affects and includes women and men

WHAT: the set of social norms that dictate how a person's behavior or choices should be, based on their actual or perceived gender; centered around the concept of femininity and masculinity

WHEN: the term was first created by John Money in 1955 but the concept has existed since the dawn of civilization

WHERE: all around the world in any culture/civilization

WHY: to describe the means of which individuals expressed their status as a male or female with no biological assignment

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A gender role, also known as a sex role, is a social role encompassing a range of behaviors and attitudes that are generally considered acceptable, appropriate, or desirable for people based on their actual or perceived sex or sexuality. Gender roles are usually centered on conceptions of femininity and masculinity, although there are exceptions and variations.