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Most of the immigrants in Britain are from Europe. Sixty percent of them came to study and work in UK. Migrants also make Britain a lot of new jobs. Their children can study in Britain schools and learn another language. However only a small fraction of those with access to health services- -sentence. More than 40 percent of migrants live in London. As a result, public transport and taxes in London have increased London's economy. SPACE Because of the change of globalization and technology, immigration is becoming more and more...what?, so the government should consider this problem FULL STOP (YouTube, 2017).

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Immigration is concerned by Britain government and people all the time.Lots of people are against the government's attitude to immigration. WHICH IS WHAT....??
Britain has eight million immigrants, 50 percent of immigrants come from European countries, most of these immigrants choose to immigrate because working. 50 percent of immingrants come from other areas WHERE????, most of these people choose to immigrate because THEY ARE studying. Half of the Britain and half of the immingrants now work in Britain ???????????.This bringS great pressure to the local people.The welfare of schools, health and tourism has also been impacted. COPIED - PARAPHRASE BETTER
This problem makes BritISH citizens feel unfair and may cause social conflicts. About 40 percent OF immigrants live in London. The situation will make people live in London give immigration a strong resistance.
TOO MUCH OF THIS IS NOT PARAPHRASED AND WRONG.

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YIden
Immigration is one of the most important issues in Britain. There are now 8 million immigrants in the UK. Most EU immigrants come here to work and most non-EU immigrants come here to study. This makes economic growth in the UK. However, local people have fewer opportunities to find jobs and they think they have enjoy fewer local services and benefits or them. Actually, immigrants are payING tax for government. Therefore, people should help immigrants and make economic growth together.
QUITE GOOD, GOT THE MAIN IDEAS- NEED TO PARAPHRASE MORE

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The immigration is a serious problem for Britain citizenS. The number of immigrants has growN faster and faster. The main impact show that in job and publish service.For the job immigraNTS can to do every kinds OF job thereforE the local people will have fewer jobs. But the immigration improveS the economic development.For the publish service the local people worried about the immigration can occupy lots of resources for example school and hospital. But the immigration also payS all taxes to government. So lots of local people think immigration can bring benefits for Britain. As well Britain has long history to immigration. In general the immigration has brought many benefits to Britain.

SOME PARTS CLEAR BUT SOME PARTS NOT CLEAR, KEEP IT SIMPLE

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Citizen who live in Britain think immigration is a big problem and causING the UK population TO  increasE. The evidence of their opinion by two aspects: job and service ????????. On the one hand , resident is difficult to find a job because of immigration .On the other hand, residentS ARE afraid that there are not enough public services for them. However, facts proved that they are not right. The Immigration also payS tax for local government to help for public serviceS. Most people think immigration only benefitS London, because London has long history immigration. Furthermore,immigration provideS 34 billion poundS to UK public finances. Finally, immigration is good for social change,such as globalization, technological change and equal right for women.

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Immigration will have influence about work, services and the people say English in the UK. The people who come from other country is coming to study or work. Immigration will take the job opportunity away from the British. But they also create the position and do their own business. They will get the job in the Britain, but they can not get their deserved pay . And immigration will increase economic growth in that country.   ONE SPACE The British  ARE worried about immigration who not get job and also enjoy the services in this country. The important THING is that the local people considered about the education of  their children. They ARE worried about their children .......cannot have a better education. Immigration have to pay the higher tax than the local people but get worse public services - NOT CORRECT And they create  most positive contribution to UK. Britain should bring more benefits to immigration.

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British PEOPLE worry about HOW immigration influenceS their jobs and services. Actually, in term of jobs, migrants create new jobs to work in business rather than making British WORKERS lose jobs. At the same time, migrants can do unsatisfied jobs for British.??????? In addition to British receive more satisfied jobs and higher salary. In a word, immigrantS ARE AN important part of THE economy in UK. On the other hand, migrants don’t affect British services at all, includING education, health service and benefit tourism. The most important of all will increase income tax for public service. So immigration is beneficial to British. As long as the government has a good policy, migrants and British can live in harmony.

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The influence of immigration on the uk immigration is the Two most important things about Britain there are work and public services the people of immigrants has been increasing about 8 million in UK. SENTENCE IS FAR TOO LONG! the immigrants with British people at job and new research, awareness create their own business in UK, sometimes allowing British people to better paid , some British people worried about the immigrants influence the local services  and they are concerned about the our schools and health service . immigrates pay for public service income taxes to developing economy London its opportunities and longer history of immigration the city both benefits and costs in the end London to pay 34 billion pound public service contribution to UK strong economy.although there are better and bad of economy and social . the government policy system need to limit the shortcoming and benefits influence of immigration to deal with questions. NEED TO PARAPHRASE/SUMMARISE- your own words.

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In recently, immigration HAS is becomes biggest problem in the UK, a vast numbers of immigration increased to 8 million people whose are come from European countries and outside of European countries. SVO!!!  Most of immigrants are taking jobs from British people and Making more and more locals unemployed. In the meantime, some immigrants create some jobs by themselves for their life. But in the result, Part of the economY in the UK increased by immigrants. However, some of immigrants go to British for services such as education and medical facilities and some British people worried about there is no more services for them. But the results show that immigration is good for the UK only on how the government should implement policy restrictions on the negative impact of immigration.
THIS IS WEAK, CONFUSING AND INACCURATE.

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Immigration has become a problem in Britain, most people think that immigration makes the population bigger, and the population’s growth causeS many questions. Most immigrants ARE from the Europe, they enjoy the welfare and social services of the England, they are working in the UK, at the same time, they take the jobs from the local people, but they will also pay the taxes, it is beneficial to the UK’s economy obviously, so, some British’s worry is redundant, Britain is traditional immigration country, the benefits of immigration is much more than the badness. THIS IS ONE SENTENCE! TOO LONG, TOO MANY IDEAS = UNCLEAR. Therefore, the government should issue the appropriate policies about immigration, to make the country's education and health benefits more friendly to the immigration and make British reduce the worries.

NOT TOO BAD APART FROM THE OVERLONG MIDDLE SENTENCE.

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The two important things about UK immigration that are work and public serviceS. The people of immigration (IMMIGRANTS) increase to 8 million in UK. They are MOSTLY almost EU  workers and non-EU students. Some immigrates take work from local people that local people don’t want to do, and immigration make economy increase. 1 SENTENCE SHOULD HAVE ONE IDEA NOT 2. Some ARE people worried about immigration influencING the local serviceS. For example, education and health service. Immigrates pay taxes  WHICH to develop THE economy, too. London haS lots of immigrants because of history. The government payS 34 billion pounds to public finance to help immigrants and economy - REALLY? ARE YOU SURE? SEEMS VERY HIGH! Some people gonna be better and some gonna be bad, the government needS to limit bad influence and distribute the benefits to solve this problem.

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Immigration is the most important issues in Britain. The number of immigrants has been increasing，TO about 8 million people in UK. Most of the EU people come for work and the outside EU people for study, they came to Britain for the purpose of immigration, one is for the work, and the other one is for public service. SENTENCE IS TOO LONG, TOO MANY IDEAS =NOT CLEAR ImmigraNTS work in the local company to increase economy of productive. Some people ARE worried about immigration influence the local public service. Such as, education, health service, and benefit. ImmigraNTS  pay higher tax than the local people.NOT TRUE!! London is big immigration city in UK, because of history and some service. Some people think the government should bring more benefits for immigration.

SOME OF THE IDEAS ARE OK BUT YOUR POOR EXPRESSION MAKES IT HARD TO UNDERSTAND- KEEP IT SIMPLE AND SVO EACH SENTENCE

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The immigration problem is aN big  IMPORTANT question for Britain. The fact shows the number of immigration are  IS growing.(Youtube.com/2016) Those new population are less then 50% came from EU and most of them for work. Other people are prefer TO study here. The immigration not just take opportunity from Britain, they also creative new chance. Most of immigratS are young people and they are not as same as that local people think what did they use lots of service. Such as school, hospitals and benefits. Also they pay lots of taxes that makes UK economy better especially in London.The result of the video shows immigration BRINGS MORE advantageS more than disadvantageS.

NOT BAD BUT YOU NEED TO svo EACH SENTENCE - STOP TRYING TO WRITE LONG, COMPLICATED SENTENCES AND KEEP IT SIMPLE AND CLEAR.

YouTube. (2016). Changing the debate: video animation on the impact of immigration on the UK. [online] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oOmA09unRM [Accessed 18 Jul. 2017].

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The important part of European immigration is that people are not gaining rights WRONG. Although they are working hard to earn money, people think immigrants are taking up their jobs. So immigrants are not respected in the culture. However, immigrants do good to the economy. Some people believe that immigrants pay taxes, others believe that immigrants are better workers. They can not be reject. UNCLEAR so people think that the government need to pay more attention to help immigrants.

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Britain's immigration problem is getting worse. The number of immigrants is increasing. There are now 8 million immigrants, half from  the EU and  half from other countries. With the growth of immigrants, the local people's employment rate is getting lower . The British are also worried about their children studying. Some people think that immigration is good for the UK, because the British immigrants created the history of the United Kingdom. Immigration this year to the UK has brought 34 billion economic growth Immigration can increase British economic development.

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Sonia                                            British people think immigration is a big problem for the UK, immigration is increasing in UK. Immigrants compete with British people FOR jobS, but immigrants also create THEIR own businesses in UK. Immigrants make the UK’s economies  development. Some British people ARE worried about the immigrants  usING local services  to reduce the local people resources of services, like schools and health service. London is a big immigrant city with more chances and history of immigration. Immigration is a good thing to UK economy. 

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Sonia                                            British people think immigration is a big problem for the UK, immigration is increasing in UK. Immigrants compete with British people FOR jobS, but immigrants also create THEIR own businesses in UK. Immigrants make the UK’s economies  development. Some British people ARE worried about the immigrants  usING local services  to reduce the local people resources of services, like schools and health service. London is a big immigrant city with more chances and history of immigration. Immigration is a good thing to UK economy. 

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OK BUT TOO CLOSE TO THE ORIGINAL AND SOME SENTENCES DO NOT MAKE SENSE.