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EducationWorld is pleased to feature this informative article from contributing teacher Rick Garrett, who teaches second grade in the Spanish Immersion program at Ralph Gates Elementary School in Lake Forest, California.

Every teacher knows the feeling of dread when the parents of a challenging student are due for their parent/teacher conference. Whether the student has behavioral issues or is having serious academic problems, the teacher must have the finesse of a diplomat to tactfully but clearly communicate the situation to the parents.

Every teacher also knows that sinking feeling when the conference has not gone as hoped. Unfortunately, guidance on conducting a successful parent/teacher conference is rarely provided in teacher preparation courses. There are several strategies, however, that can help make conferences successful.

First, keep your eyes on the goal. Remember, the purpose of the parent/teacher conference is to clearly communicate the student's progress in school, and in the case of a student who is having difficulty, to enlist the parents' cooperation in the effort to remediate any problems.

Preparation for a good parent/teacher conference is a must and starts on the first day of school. Get to know your students the first week of the year. Note any obvious difficulties a child may be having, either academic or behavioral. In your beginning-of-the-year letter, class Web page, or back-to-school presentation, clearly spell out your policies and procedures and make sure all parents know what to expect in regards to homework, tests, grades, etc.

If a child is already having great difficulty from the start of the school year, call the parents in as soon as possible to alert them to the child's struggles and what interventions can be put into place to avoid failing grades on the first report card. Stay in close contact with these parents so that the "bomb" of any negative news is not dropped on them unexpectedly in the first conference. In this way, the conference will be just another meeting in an ongoing series of updates.

Keep accurate records and documentation of each child's progress. It's never good to be vague and subjective in a conference, especially when there is difficult information to share with parents. If you've already been in close contact with the parents of any child experiencing difficulty, there should be no surprises on the report card.

As conference day approaches, be sure to have everything you need prepared well ahead of time. If the report card is presented to parents at the conference, have it completed well in advance and double and triple check for any errors. Have class work, tests, completed and graded projects, etc. at hand to support the grades. Make sure the grades on the report card clearly reflect the assessments.

Before the conference, rehearse some of the anticipated questions you may need to address or explanations you might have to give. Take one last glance over the report card just before the parents come in. Then put on a smile, warmly greet them and start the conference with a positive comment.

It's always best at the first possible opportunity to try to discern the personality traits of the parents and monitor the dynamics of the conference accordingly. Some parents may have a different frame of reference than what you expect. Even if you send every test, quiz and graded project home for the parents to see, they may still rejoice at the 10 percent of the questions their child got correct and be oblivious to the 90 percent she wasn't able to answer. Don't be surprised when they are shocked to see an F on the report card.

Monitor the language you use and try to keep it as positive as possible. Phrases such as "He has been working towards passing the fifth timed test for some time now," are much more positive than "He has a lot of trouble adding and subtracting." Instead of saying, "I want her to study more for her spelling tests," try saying, "She needs to study more for her spelling tests." This puts the responsibility back on the students and/or their parents.

How many times have we mentally kicked ourselves after the fact for not having the exact response to a pointed or accusatory statement made by someone else? Some examples of this during parent/teacher conferences include:

"Well, he never had this trouble last year!" A possible response: "Last year was a different curriculum, a different environment, a different set of classmates, and a different teacher. This year the curriculum is more challenging." Here is where it's a good idea to confer with last year's teacher or check the student's cumulative file before the conference. If these investigations reveal that a child is still having the same difficulties as last year, this may be tactfully pointed out to the parent.

"He says he's bored." (Possibly meaning either the class or the teacher is boring, or in the parents' opinion, the child is too intellectually advanced for the class.) You might mention that you maintain a challenging pace and workload for the students, so there is not much time for a student to be bored. If you have witnessed the child truly struggling to master a concept, share this with the parents to balance their view that the work in your class is not challenging enough. If you have seen from the beginning of the year that the child is academically advanced, hopefully you have provided him with enrichment activities not available to the other students and can share this fact as well.

"Your tests are too hard." A possible response is, "Almost all the tests come from the assessment materials provided by the publishers, who have created them to assess what the students have learned. In the rare case I feel a publisher's test isn't aligned with what was taught in class, I will modify it so it reflects a fair and accurate picture of what the children were to have learned."

"Well, she can do the work at home." The teacher will never really know if this is accurate, or under what circumstances the student can do the work at home. A possible response is, "Now he just needs to transfer that ability to being able to do it in the classroom." Another possible response is, "I'm glad he's mastered that skill in a one-on-one setting. The classroom environment is a little different, in that he needs to do it in a small-group setting and eventually independently in a whole-class situation within a reasonable amount of time."

On the other hand, honestly confess any oversights on your part that you need to correct. Nothing will put you in the good graces of parents like letting them know that you're human, too. If faced with a miscalculated grade or other oversight, beg their pardon and assure them it will be promptly rectified.

During the conference of a child who is experiencing difficulties, explain to the parent what additional interventions you can put into place at school and suggest other techniques they might implement at home. Jot down the interventions you commit to in front of the parents, so they see you are serious about helping their child succeed. The focus of the conference should always be, "How can we, as a team, better help your child be successful?" To reinforce this team approach, always seat yourself on the same side of the table as the parents. Sitting across the table from them could set up an authoritative position that might suggest the parents are still students themselves.

It's an unfortunate fact that the worst conferences can turn into ongoing nightmares. These are the conferences where the parent comes with both barrels loaded, ready to do battle. To defuse the situation, try some of the following techniques:

First, let the parent vent. Quietly, patiently and respectfully listen, making mental notes of how you need to respond when the explosion is over.

Second, make sure you keep your cool. Respond firmly but politely. Raising your voice will be like throwing gasoline on a fire. Practice active listening. Use statements like, "I hear that you're upset about that. Let me clarify what happened."

Third, don't hesitate to enlist help from your principal if it gets ugly. If you anticipate there will be problems with any conference, it's always a good idea to tip your principal off to that possibility before it happens, and maybe ask him or her to sit in on the conference.

If you have done your homework and are prepared for the conference, you will automatically exude the confidence you need to confront any situation. Remember, 90 percent of your conferences will be pleasant meetings that will reinforce a team approach that supports your students' ongoing success.

Rick Garrett, M.Ed., M.A. has been teaching the lower elementary grades for 30 years in different parts of the United States and South America. He attended UCLA, where he earned a degree in Curriculum and the Study of Schooling.

Education World®
Copyright © 2011 Education World

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Tips for Successful Parent-Teacher Conferences

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EducationWorld is pleased to feature this informative article from contributing teacher Rick Garrett, who teaches second grade in the Spanish Immersion program at Ralph Gates Elementary School in Lake Forest, California . Every teacher knows the feeling of dread when the parents of a challenging student are due for their parent/teacher conference.

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Edutopia is a free source of information, inspiration, and practical strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12 education. We are published by the George Lucas Educational Foundation, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization.

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20 Tips for Developing Positive Parent-Teacher Relationships

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20 Tips for Developing Positive Parent-Teacher Relationships

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20 Tips for Developing Positive Relationships With Parents

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Blogger Elena Aguilar shares 20 tips to help teachers better connect with parents.

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The Importance of Building Parent-Teacher Relationships

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The Importance of Building Parent-Teacher Relationships

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Parents, how well do you know your child's teachers? Teachers, how well do you know your students' parents? How does the relationship between your child's teachers affect their learning-or does it at all? Could this relationship have an effect on how well they read? How much does the involvement of a "family" in school activities play into a child's success in school? What exactly does an involved parent/caregiver look like? How would a teacher know if you were an involved parent? How would parents know if they were involved enough? How would a parent know if you were an effective teacher? How do you know if you're an effective teacher? What are some ways both teacher and parent can ensure that together they are doing what's best for their students'/child's academic success?

I don't have all of the answers to these questions, but I do have a unique perspective on this topic.

Why are parent-teacher relationships important?

I am a parent, and I have also previously been a classroom teacher. I know that the struggle to have a good working relationship as parents and teachers is real. I also know that having a good working relationship between teachers and parents is an extremely important part of a student's academic success.

There have been times in my own relationship with my children's teachers that I have not been involved. They have had teachers whom I knew well, and there were teachers whom I wouldn't recognize if I saw them at the grocery store. If I switched roles and put on my teacher hat, I could say the same thing about those relationships. There have been parents I've known well, and there were parents I wouldn't have recognized if I ran into them at the grocery store. I could try to put the blame on parents or on teachers, but I would rather make a few observations and suggestions as to how to make the parent-teacher relationship better. I want to focus on three main things: expectations, communication, and realizations.

Expectations

First, when it comes to expectations, both parents and teachers have them for each other. They expect certain things to happen. Parents expect teachers to instruct their students and to guide their learning so they can have success. Teachers expect parents to support the instruction and learning that happens in school, at home. They also each have expectations for the child/student they share in common. They have expectations for their student's academic performance, attendance, and behavior both in school and out of school. If these expectations are the same and they are communicated, a synergy will happen, and their relationship can have a powerful effect on the student's learning outcomes. The operative word in all this is communicated. When expectations are clearly communicated, both parents and teachers will have a better understanding of their roles in the parent-teacher relationship. They will then know how best to be a supportive part of that relationship.
Both parents and teachers have an important role to play; their roles do not replace but rather compliment and reinforce the other's role, thus providing the student with a consistent message about reading and learning. Thinking of parents and teachers as "partners" refers to this mutual effort toward a shared goal. It also implies shared responsibility of parents and teachers for supporting students as learners (Christenson & Sheridan, 2001).
So, how well are you communicating and working as a partner, either as a parent or as a teacher, in your child's education?

Communication

Have you ever heard that communication is a two-way street? What does communication have to do with the success of your child's reading? How often would you like feedback about your child? What kind of feedback do you wish you would get from your child's teacher? school? Whose job is it to see that information is given? Are you, as the parent, waiting for your child's teacher to initiate communication? Are you, as the teacher, waiting for the parent to initiate communication? Why wait? You be the one to make the first step. Aren't you both trying to achieve the same thing? Have you heard that actions speak louder than words? In the case of your child's education, some actions are perceived by teachers as "involved." For example, if parents attend students' performances, school and class activities, parent-teacher conferences, and PTA meetings and volunteers their time in the classroom, those parents are seen as involved. When a child comes to school and they are well groomed and well rested and their homework is completed, a teacher presumes that the parent/caregiver was involved in the process of helping that child be successful and prepared. So, if parents don't do all of those things, are they not involved in their child's learning? Do they not care about their child's education? It may appear so. Here's where communication plays a huge role. Are you unable to attend meetings because of conflicting work schedules, illness, or other family struggles? Are you unable to volunteer because of language barriers, lack of transportation, childcare needs, or other issues? Do you understand the school culture? Does the teacher understand your culture and your feelings about how you can give support? If you haven't communicated these concerns or challenges to your child's teacher, how would she know? If you are the teacher, how would you know if you hadn't asked the questions? Communication is a two-way street. Have you crossed that street?

Realizations

I've made some realizations from my experiences in the classroom and as a parent. I've realized that we're all on the same team and, as such, we need to be supportive of each other. We need to have a mutual respect for one another. We should all have one common focus and goal, and that is the success of each child. All parents have a genuine desire for their children to be successful at whatever they're doing. Teachers have that same desire. I've learned that assumptions are dangerous and that perceptions are often inaccurate. Seeking to understand one another by communicating expectations is key in having a powerful synergistic relationship. When both a child and a parent feel supported by the teacher and vice versa, students will have a greater advantage in their ability to be successful. It's a win-win for everyone!
Schools and teachers alone seldom help students achieve their full academic potential. This is not an indictment of schools and teachers. Rather, this is a fact of child development. Students' personal investment in and interest for learning, for example, are influenced by parental messages (Bempechat, 1998; Coleman, 1987). Therefore, the approach for interacting with families is characterized by focusing on the importance of the relationship and establishing meaningful co-roles for the partners. Working as partners is a way of thinking about how to create constructive connections between parents and teachers. Forming connections means developing an intentional and ongoing relationship between teachers and parents that is designed to enhance children's reading and learning, and to address the obstacles that impede it. It requires delivery of the right message: "that mutual respect and interdependence of home, school, and the community are essential to children's development" (McAfee, 1993, p.21).
So, set your expectations. Parents, let your child and your child's teacher know your expectations. Teachers, let your students and your students' parents know your expectations. Then, communicate those expectations to each other often and in respectful ways. Finally, remember to keep your assumptions and perceptions out of the relationship, and realize the common concerns, desires, and outcomes both parties share are the same. Success for all students is the goal, and positive parent-teacher relationships are the key to that success.

About the Author

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The Importance of Building Parent-Teacher Relationships

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Parents, how well do you know your child's teachers? Teachers, how well do you know your students' parents? How does the relationship between your child's teachers affect their learning-or does it at all? Could this relationship have an effect on how well they read?