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Gulyani provides examples of responding to Snipers:

Stop, Look, Backtrack. "So, I heard you say that I have ‘nothing to say but you have to wait a long time to hear it." (Backtracking)

Use searchlight questions. "Susan, when you say ‘Can’t take a joke?,’ I’m still wondering what are you really trying to say?" (Searchlight question, probing for the grievance)

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The Sniper targets you when you're most vulnerable.

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-Very strong sense of what others should do and think
-Have to prove they're right
-Take cover under humor and sarcasm
-Count in victim not wanting to make sense

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-Make rude comments
-Make you look foolish
-Take shots at you to make you look bad of try to undermine you

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Challenges of Dealing w/           The Sniper

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Challenges of Dealing w/           The Sniper

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-Bringing the sniper our of hiding
-Finding what's the intent or relevancy of their statements
Uncomfortable interactions

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A personal experience with a sniper...an administrator stated in front of the entire staff at a meeting, "Look at Ms. Coates, all dressed up today! She must have an interview or a court appearance."
On the inside, I wanted to say something so nasty back in response. Instead, I calmly made eye contact and stated, " I am glad you noticed my new dress and like it!" All while, keeping sarcasm out of my voice.

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Most people instinctively avoid conflict, but as Margaret Heffernan shows us, good disagreement is central to progress. She illustrates (sometimes counterintuitively) how the best partners aren't echo chambers -- and how great research teams, relationships and businesses allow people to deeply disagree.

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Stop, look, backtrack. Zero in on the Sniper. If it seems like someone is taking shots at you, stop – even in the middle of a sentence or word. Bring all your activity to a standstill. Scan for the Sniper and backtrack.

Use searchlight questions. Use two questions to expose the Sniper’s behavior: 1) Intent – "When you say that, what are you really trying to say?" and 2) Relevancy – "What does that have to do with this?"

Use tank strategy if needed. Hold your ground, interrupt the interruption, backtrack the main accusation, and aim at your own bottom line.

Go on a grievance patrol. If you suspect someone is holding a grudge against you, but you’re not certain, go on patrol and see what you can scout out.

Suggest a civil future. Finish the interaction by suggesting an alternative behavior for the future.

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Gallagher, D. & Bagin, D. (2012). The school and community relations (10 th. ed.).Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.

Gulyani, G. (2013). Dealing with people you can’t stand. Retrieved from http://gulyani.com/review-notes-dealing-with-people-you-cant-stand-by-dr-rick-brinkman-and-dr-rick-kirschner/

Harris,S. (2016). Bravo Principal! Building Relationships with Actions that Value Others. Second Edition. New York: Routledge. Moore, E., .