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Clinical School Social Worker - Rebecca Rodriguez

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Hello!! My name is Ms. Rebecca Rodriguez and I am one of the eLearn Clinical School Social Workers. I work with students to find ways to best support mental health. Many times that means talking about strategies for stress management, anxiety reduction, processing grief and loss, and so many more topics!

I meet with students both virtually and in-person. You are more than welcome to reach out to me on Teams or email me at rebecca.rodriguez1@fresnounified.org

I look forward to connecting with you!!

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Cultural groups may experience mental health in different ways and rates. Here is some information regarding how mental health impacts various communities.

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Hello, it's nice to meet you! My name is Ms. Ta Vang and I am one of the eLearn Clinical School Social Workers. I provide social emotional and mental health support to the students through stress management, anxiety reduction, social skills, self-awareness and so much more.

I meet with students both virtually and in-person. I look forward to meeting you.  Please feel free to contact me/reach out to me via Teams or email me at ta.vang@fresnounified.org

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We all experience challenging moments in our lives. Sometimes we feel prepared and supported enough to overcome these difficulties, while other times we may need more help. Here are some warning signs to look out for and ways that you can help a friend!

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Here are some questions that we can ask ourselves or others to get a sense of where we are in our mental health.

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As the previous video said, we all have mental health. So why is it so hard for us to actually discuss it openly? Watch this video to learn how we can all help break the stigma of mental health.

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Break the Stigma Around Children's Mental Health

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Experiencing racism can impact our mental health. Watch this video to learn how.

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Social Emotional Wellness & Support Overview

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Social Emotional Wellness & Support Overview

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General information can be found here. Requests for Social Emotional Support Referrals can also be submitted on this website. The forms are made accessible in English, Spanish, and Hmong.

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Overview

Stude​nts and Parents/Caretakers: ​If you are concerned about the social emotional well-being of your child or a peer, please fill out the Online Social Emotional Support Referral above. If this is an emergency, please call 911 immediately or take your child to the nearest hospital. ​Referrals are confidential and are forwarded by email to the administrative team in the Student Support Services Office.

Care Solace

"A simple, fast and safe tool for parents and students for mental health and substance use help."

Care Solace​ ​is a FREE online resource that assists individuals in finding local mental health and substance use related programs and counseling services. Care Solace works with individuals who have insurance including Medi-Cal, Private Insurance, and those that have no insurance. Care Solace does not require a user's name, address, phone number, or date of birth. All information that is entered is completely confidential and stored securely. ​Care Solace will find the right options that can help you right now for:​

Tips for Keeping Your Child Safe

Know the Warning Signs
*If you see a warning sign, seek help immediately*​

​Threats or comments about killing themselves such as "I wish I were dead" and "I won't be around to deal with this much longer."

Increase in risky behavior

Aggressive behavior

Social withdrawal

Saying goodbye to family or friends

Giving away prized possessions

Dramatic mood swings

Talking, writing, posts on social media or thinking about death.

*It is important to remember the signs and risk factors listed are generalities. Not all students who contemplate or die by suicide will exhibit these kinds of symptoms AND not all students who exhibit these behaviors are suicidal*

What Can I Do To Keep My Child Safe?
*If you see a warning sign, seek help immediately*

​Ask: Do not be afraid to talk to your kids about suicide and mental health.

Actively listen: "help me understand what life is like for you right now."

Take signs seriously: If you are seeing warning signs and risk factors, respond immediately.

Limit access: Restricting access to lethal means, especially access to firearms, prescription drugs and medications are important in the prevention of youth suicide.

Do not leave your child alone: Surround yourself with a support network or friends and family that can step in and help as needed.

Reach out: Contact the school or mental health professionals if you are concerned about your child.​

Social Emotional Resources for Families Available throughout the District

There are approximately over 16 million children diagnosed with a mental disorder such as ADHD, behavior problems, anxiety, or depression-and 38% have experienced more than one type of traumatic event, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Furthermore, societal pressures and environmental factors present challenges in the overall wellbeing of young people. Students and families may experience a time where social and emotional support is warranted. Fresno Unified School District has services throughout the district offered by trained staff at various school sites that can provide the appropriate supportive services.

Did You Know?​​​​

​Fresno Unified schools (TK-12) have the following school support services available throughout the district that are provided by Psychologists, School Social Workers, Restorative Practice Counselors, Clinical School Social Workers, Restoring the Learning Environment Counselors (RLE) and School Nurses.

There are over 40 School Social Workers or Clinical School Social Workers at designated school sites providing mental health services, individual/group counseling, case management, crisis intervention as well as psycho-education to students, parents, school sites and the community.

Fresno Unified has over 80 School Psychologists who are available throughout the district to support students from ages 3-22. They conduct psychoeducational assessments and provide mental health services, crisis response intervention, as well as academic, behavioral, and social-emotional guidance.

School Counselors provide services at all middle and high school sites. They provide academic, career and social emotional counseling to students.

The Mentoring Office provides students with the opportunity to connect with a mentor through various programs available: School Site based mentoring, Community based mentoring, Worksite based mentoring, Peer Mentoring, e-mentoring, Adopt-a-School Partnership and Men's and Women's Alliance.

Restoring the Learning Environment Counselors (RLE) provide social emotional support to students, provide cultural broker services and are assigned to school sites with higher populations of Southeast Asian students.

School sites often contract with local community agencies to provide ongoing and accessible mental health services to students onsite.

Other school site supports from the school district may include Resource Counseling Assistants, Tier II Intervention Specialists and Behavior Intervention Specialists.

In accordance with AB 2246, FUSD provides suicide prevention, intervention and postvention services to students, families and staff members throughout the district. This includes education and awareness campaigns regarding warning signs and how to access help to parents, instruction to students at the secondary level and training to staff. The district's policy also outlines our best practice approach to intervention and how we support students, families and schools in the event that a crisis does occur on one of our campuses.

Quick Links

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Social Emotional Wellness & Support | Fresno Unified Prevention and Intervention

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FUSD offers different support services to meet the needs of our students. Visit this page to learn about our different programs, what services they provide, and how they can be accessed.

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Contact

Caine Christensen MSW, PPSC
Director, Student Support Services

Department of Prevention & Intervention
1350 M Street, Fresno, CA, 93721
Phone: 559-457-3940; Fax: 559-457-3373
Email: Caine.Christensen@fresnounified.org

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Student Support Services | Fresno Unified Prevention and Intervention

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Contact Caine Christensen MSW, PPSCDirector, Student Support Services Department of Prevention & Intervention1350 M Street, Fresno, CA, 93721Phone: 559-457-3940; Fax: 559-457-3373Email: Caine.Christensen@fresnounified.org Our Mission Fostering success through wellness, resiliency, and transf ...

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Care Solace is a FREE resource that can be used to connect students and families with appropriate mental health providers. They will match individuals with appropriate supports based on medical insurance, as well as mental health or substance use needs.

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All information entered on the Care Solace website is completely confidential and securely stored. They do not share specific user information to any third parties or even the district itself.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Email us at Call us 24x7 at (888) 515-0595 weserve@caresolace.org
We speak English, Spanish (Hablamos Español), Mandarin, Vietnamese, Cantonese, Tagalog and Korean
or Video Chat

Please note, Care Solace is not an emergency response service nor mental health services provider. In the event of a life threatening emergency, please call 9-1-1 or the National Suicide Hotline (800) 273-8255.

Please allow access to your camera to get connected with a Care Companion™️

We apologize, but no Care Companion™️ is available right now.

You can try again in a few minutes or in the mean time, you can email us at weserve@caresolace.org and expect a response within 15 minutes.

This call is recorded and may be reviewed for quality and training purposes.

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Fresno Unified School District : Care Match

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All information entered on the Care Solace website is completely confidential and securely stored. They do not share specific user information to any third parties or even the district itself.

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Browse through this webpage to learn more about what mental health includes, why it is important, and how it is affecting our general population.

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood. It is an important part of overall health and well-being and includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act.

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The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.

1-800-273-8255

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Skip to main content

We can all help prevent suicide. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.

988

¡Los servicios de texto y chat de 988 Lifeline ya están disponibles en español!
Haga clic aquí para obtener información sobre cómo acceder a todos los servicios en español.

Conocer más

Stock photo by iStock.

The 988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We're committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

About The Lifeline

Anyone could be struggling with suicide. Find more specific resources below.

I'm Struggling With Individuals with Neurodivergence

We understand that every struggle is different. Experience the stories of people like you, and how they overcame crisis to find hope and recovery.
read stories of hope & recovery

First, you'll hear an automated message featuring additional options while your call is routed to your local 988 Lifeline network crisis center.

We'll play you a little music while we connect you to a skilled, trained crisis worker.

A trained crisis worker at your local center will answer the phone.

This person will listen to you, understand how your problem is affecting you, provide support, and get you the help you need.

988 Lifeline Center calls are free and confidential, and we're available 24/7.

Show What Happens When You Call The Lifeline

Everyone Plays A Role In Suicide Prevention

Get in touch

Call the Lifeline

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Skip to main content We can all help prevent suicide. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States. 988 ¡Los servicios de texto y chat de 988 Lifeline ya están disponibles en español!

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Text HOME to 741741

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Crisis Text Line | Text HOME To 741741 free, 24/7 Crisis Counseling

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Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. We're here for everything: anxiety, depression, suicide, school. Text HOME to 741741.

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The Trevor Project is dedicated to providing support and resources to LGBTQ youth.
Call 1-866-488-7386 to speak with a trained counselor
Text START to 678678 to contact a trained counselor via text message.

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The Trevor Project | For Young LGBTQ Lives

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The Trevor Project provides 24/7 crisis support services to LGBTQ young people. Text, chat, or call anytime to reach a trained counselor. Free and confidential.

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Available statewide to youth ages 12/24 and/or adults supporting youth. They have a growing resources bank of over 5,000 services and offer translation services in 300+ languages.
This confidential crisis line is available 24/7 and can be called or texted at 800-843-5200.

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Our California Youth Crisis Line is a free, and supportive, 24/7 confidential phone, text, and chat counseling service. We're available statewide to youth ages 12-24 and/or adults supporting youth. Call or text 800-843-5200

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For anyone affected by abuse or needing support call 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 22522 available 24/7. You are not alone.

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Healthy relationships for young adults can be confusing. Love is more than just the way you feel, and we’re here to help.

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According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence,  studies show that on average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the US. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call 1-800-799-7233. You can also text START to 88788 or chat live on this website.

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24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence so they can live their lives free of abuse.

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Those seeking safe housing due to and/or services related to domestic violence can drop by the Marjaree Mason Center Administration Building, at 1600 M Street, or call the hotline at (559) 233-HELP (4357). This hotline is available 24/7

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Close this page & redirect to a different website...

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Close this page & redirect to a different website... SAFETY ALERT: Your computer may record your visit to this website. Please make sure you clear your browser history after viewing this site.

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Statistics for this image were reported by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

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A key step in supporting mental health is to STAY CONNECTED. Make sure to reach out to friends and loved ones whenever you are going through a stressful time. Similarly, check in with your friends and loved ones whenever you notice that they are going through a difficult time too.

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Sometimes it can be hard for us to know when we need to ask for help and that's okay. Here are some signs to look for when deciding that it just might be time to seek support.

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Mental health is often treated as a taboo subject. It is a topic that people often shy away from and this reluctance to talk about mental health worsens the stigma. So GET EXCITED! Learn and share what you know about mental health. It is something we experience everyday and should also be part of our everyday conversations.

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Although self-care is becoming part of our daily vocabulary, we sometimes limit our understanding of it to bath bombs and sleep. While those are very real and valid self-care activities, there are many others that can be found in the different areas of self-care.

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Identifying self-care activities is just one of the first steps. As with anything, consistency is key! Use this Maintenance Self-Care Plan Worksheet to keep yourself on track and make sure that you are addressing your own needs.

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Prodigy Healthcare Inc accepts referrals for our FUSD students to provide services related to substance use. Check out their webpage for more information about their services and how to submit a referral.

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Our Mission

Our mission is to provide comprehensive services to help young adults and their families achieve and maintain a healthy, productive lifestyle including substance abuse recovery, behavioral health services and after school programming. We guide young adults toward a life of excellence, leadership and service. Young adults are taught responsibility, accountability, life skills, social skills and work ethic, while receiving an equal blend of therapeutic and clinical services. Prodigy Healthcare, Inc. serves youth and their families through evidence-based programming designed to promote pro-social behavior and healthy lifestyles.

Our Values

Respect
The inherent dignity and self-worth of each individual.

Responsibility
Being accountable for one's own actions.

Integrity
Honesty and trustworthiness as the focus of all our actions.

Personal Growth
Fostering the healthy development of body, mind, and spirit.

Counselors

Every single team member of Prodigy Healthcare Inc. is committed to providing the highest quality of counseling services available to all adolescents and their families. Prodigy Healthcare Inc. counselors are registered or certified with one of eight state approved accrediting agencies for substance abuse counseling certification.

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Prodigy Healthcare Inc. | Substance Abuse Recovery, Behavioral Health Services, After School Programming

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Our mission is to provide comprehensive services to help young adults and their families achieve and maintain a healthy, productive lifestyle including substance abuse recovery, behavioral health services and after school programming. We guide young adults toward a life of excellence, leadership and service.

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Each of us have our own responsibilities and interests, which can often leave us feeling very busy and drained. It is during this time that self-care is even more important because it helps rejuvenate and re-energize us when we feel exhausted. Commit yourself to meeting your needs and make time in your schedule for self-care!

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Developing our emotional intelligence can help improve our self-awareness, which is a crucial element for our self-regulation. Knowing ourselves can help us identify stressors and manage our responses to triggers.

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We are creative people that can develop many strategies to help deal with stress. However, even if they can help provide some temporary relief or comfort, not all coping strategies serve your best interest. Use this to gain more insight on what coping strategies you use and whether you would consider them healthy.

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Would we accept someone else's criticism and put downs without a second thought? Answer is, probably not. Don't let your own negative thoughts about yourself to go unchallenged either. Here are some questions that can help interrupt those negative thoughts.

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Example of how a shift in mindset can help

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Example of how a shift in mindset can help

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Sometimes we don't realize just how much how thoughts effect our emotions, which then effect our behaviors/responses. Here is a good illustration that shows it in action.

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We can try and avoid others, but someone that we cannot runaway from is ourselves. We cannot escape our own thoughts, which is why it is so important to speak to ourselves with compassion and care.

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Our bodies can hold on to the stress and anxiety that we experience even when we think we are over it. Progressive muscle relaxation techniques can help release some of the tension. Check this out to learn how you can use it!
*For more information on how exactly stress impacts your body, check out the Good to Know column*

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This is a useful exercise that can help ground you when you feel overwhelmed or over stimulated. Check out the video to see how you can practice it!

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The 5-4-3-2-1 Method: A Grounding Exercise to Manage Anxiety

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Here are some more ideas of what you can do for self-care.

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We can be so quick to judge ourselves at times with no regard to how much we are really trying. It's important to be patient with ourselves and allow ourselves some room to be both imperfect AND reassured.

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Cognitive distortions are inaccurate thinking, perceptions, or beliefs. They are patterns that can result in negative self-beliefs, unpleasant emotions, and unhelpful behaviors.

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Open this document to view list of community resources available within the Fresno area.

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What are microaggressions? How is it that we may unknowingly cause harm? Why is it that that small comment they said made me feel off? Check out this webpage for some answers!

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what are microaggressions?

Microaggressions are statements or actions that create intentional or unintentional harm against stigmatized or culturally marginalized groups, such as people living with mental illness or other disabilities, people of color, women and femmes, and/or LGBTQ+ people. Microaggressions of all kinds negatively impact people's mental and emotional wellbeing.

Microaggressions are person-to-person expressions that convey larger systems of power, such as racism, sexism, ableism, and homophobia. Embedded in our culture, institutions, and interactions, these systems can become part of our thinking without us even realizing. Despite best intentions, anyone - even those with a marginalized identity - can commit a microaggression. There's always more for each of us to learn.
Explore our C.A.L.M. Toolkit

Mental Health

Mental health microaggressions can take the form of harmful language, stereotypes, assumptions, and doubt. See examples of phrases and actions

Racial

Racial microaggressions show up in pervasive, everyday words and actions that reveal racism and biases that have gone unchecked. examples

Sexuality

Sexuality-based microaggressions can be a part of daily life for an LGB (lesbian, gay, bisexual) person living in a world in which heterosexual relationships are treated as the defaul "normal" way to be in a relationship. examples

Gender

Gender-based microaggressions include comments or actions that imply a person's gender identity or expression is "wrong," or that lean into stereotypes based on traditional gender roles. examples

Disability

Disability microaggressions are a subtle form of discrimination or prejudice against people with disabilities - also known as ableism. examples

stay C.A.L.M.

you've committed a microaggression. what do you do?

C : center the other person

A : acknowledge impact over intent

Inspired by the CPR model developed by Kira Manser, Jaymie Campbell, and Shannon Criniti.

examples

Mental Health Microaggressions
Phrases such as: Actions such as: Back to top

Racial Microaggressions
Phrases such as: Actions such as: Back to top

Sexuality-Based Microaggressions
Phrases such as: Actions such as: Back to top

Gender-Based Microaggressions
Phrases such as: Actions such as: Back to top

Disability Microaggressions
Phrases such as: Actions such as: Back to top

microaggressions impact our mental health

Microaggressions of all kinds can negatively impact mental and emotional wellbeing, including by specifically targeting marginalized identities in intersectional ways. One example is the angry Black woman trope, which is rooted in both sexism and racism. The effects of microaggressions accumulate over time, leading to a strain in mental health and harm to one's identity.

You've committed a microaggression. What do you do?

becoming stronger advocates in the face of microaggressions

Environmental microaggressions - microaggressions that are more structural or systemic in nature - also exist and can inflict harm. Examples include being told you're not allowed or don't belong (in certain bathrooms, for example), being prevented from participating in an activity because it isn't accessible, completing forms that require a male/female or husband/wife response, and a lack of representation in the media, in your environment, or in ads and stories.

Additionally, person-to-person microaggressions can have broader systemic implications. For example, a doctor's assumptions about people of color and/or people in the disability community can shape how likely they are to explain medical procedure options often seen as complex or expensive.

As advocates, we can help advocate in our communities, schools, and workplaces for more inclusive education and policies.

Check out Active Minds' Transform Your Campus and Your Voice is Your Power campaigns and resources to get involved.

get help

Have you experienced a microaggression? Use these helplines as soon as you feel you or a friend are in crisis.

Active Minds is the nation's premier nonprofit organization promoting mental health for young adults.

Are you in crisis? Text BRAVE to 741-741 or call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK for free, 24/7, and confidential support.

Mental Health +

Mental health is part of our everyday lives - sometimes we just need help noticing it. This Mental Health Month, we're sharing 31 simple, unique, and accessible ways to make mental health a priority in your daily life.

×

Kevin Briggs shares his experiences while patrolling the Golden Gate Bridge as both an officer and a sergeant with the California Highway Patrol and includes his own personal story of physical and mental health challenges including recovery, military service, surviving the suicide of a loved one, divorce, and depression.

Briggs' story has been featured in The New Yorker, People, and Men's Health magazines and on The Steve Harvey Show and NPR's Bob Edward's Radio Show. Kevin also received the 2016 Visionary Leadership Award from the National Council for Behavioral Health.

CLOSE

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C-A-L-M Toolkit by Active Minds, CLASP, and the Trevor Project

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Microaggressions are statements or actions that create intentional or unintentional harm against stigmatized or culturally marginalized groups, such as people living with mental illness or other disabilities, people of color, women and femmes, and/or LGBTQ+ people. Microaggressions of all kinds negatively impact people's mental and emotional wellbeing.

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Stress is something that we deal with regularly and when it is not address, it can have very negative impacts on our physical health. Click on this link to learn more!

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Stress affects all systems of the body including the musculoskeletal, respiratory, cardiovascular, endocrine, gastrointestinal, nervous, and reproductive systems.

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Grief and loss is something that so many of us have experienced or are currently experiencing. It can be a sensitive topic, but one that cannot be ignored. Here are some tips on what you can do to support a friend who is going through grief and loss.

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Sometimes it can feel as though everything around us is moving 100 miles per second. We can feel shaky, over stimulated, or in total confusion as to what is happening around us. During stressful times, it helps to tune out what is happening around you and take a moment to just allow yourself to be in your body. Put on your headphones, sit in a comfortable position, and allow yourself to be drawn into the beautiful scenery. Watch this video and take a moment to just be.

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Beautiful Relaxing Music for Stress Relief • Meditation Music, Sleep Music, Ambient Study Music

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There are so many benefits to deep breathing. Here are a few!

*psst deep breathing would work so well with the beautiful relaxing music video in this column*

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What are panic attacks? How can you treat it?

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What are panic attacks? How can you treat it?

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Check out this video to learn more about how panic attacks develop and feel, as well as how you can prevent them.

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What causes panic attacks, and how can you prevent them? - Cindy J. Aaronson

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Anxiety plays an important role in our flight, flight, or freeze responses to perceived threats in our environment. Watch this video to see how this evolutionary response is affecting our experience of our current environment and stressors.

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Fight Flight Freeze – Anxiety Explained For Teens

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Substance use and mental health conditions can each be difficult to address on their own, and it only gets more complicated when both are present at the same time. Check out this infographic for more information on how they relate to one another.

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"I'm depressed" is a common statement that we hear or say in our current society. But what exactly does it mean to be depressed? Listen to this video to find out!

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Latine/Hispanic Communities and Mental Health

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Latine/Hispanic Communities and Mental Health

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Each cultural group experiences and understand mental health differently. Here are some things to consider for the Latine/Hispanic communities.

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Latiné Community Infographic March 2022

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Each cultural group experiences and understand mental health differently. Here are some things to consider for Black/African American communities.

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Ways to Embrace Black Mental Health Feb 2022

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Native and Indigenous Communities and Mental Health

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Native and Indigenous Communities and Mental Health

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Each cultural group experiences and understand mental health differently. Here are some things to consider for Native and Indigenous communities.

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Asian American & Pacific Islanders and Mental Health

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Asian American & Pacific Islanders and Mental Health

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Each cultural group experiences and understand mental health differently. Here are some things to consider for Asian American and Pacific Islanders communities.

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Each cultural group experiences and understand mental health differently. Here are some things to consider for the LGBTQ+ communities.

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The pandemic had real effects on our mental health due to forced social isolation and interruptions to our usual routines. Here are some statistics of how it impacted our mental health and suicidality overall.

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A mindset is the perspective through which you come to understand and interpret what is happening around you. It influences the way you understand, feel, and respond to a given situation. As you look at this image, identify the qualities that relate to you. The goal is to shift towards a growth mindset.

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It can be difficult for us to know what to say when someone is going through a difficult time. Check out this webpage for more tips on how to support those around you.

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1. Ozbay, F., Johnson, D. C., Dimoulas, E., Morgan III, C. A., Charney, D., & Southwick, S. (2007). Social support and resilience to stress: from neurobiology to clinical practice. Psychiatry (Edgmont). 4(5),35.

2. Inagaki, T. K., Bryne Haltom, K. E., Suzuki, S., Jevtic, I., Hornstein, E., Bower, J. E., & Eisenberger, N. I. (2016). The Neurobiology of Giving Versus Receiving Support: The Role of Stress-Related and Social Reward-Related Neural Activity. Psychosomatic medicine, 78(4), 443-453. https://doi.org/10.1097/PSY.0000000000000302

3. The Trevor Project. (2019). National Survey on LGBTQ Mental Health. New York, New York: The Trevor Project.

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There are simple things that every person can say or do to help the people in their life who are struggling to get through the tough times.

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BIPOC and LGBTQ+ Mental Health Directory of Information

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BIPOC and LGBTQ+ Mental Health Directory of Information

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Explore this webpage to find out more information regarding mental health in different cultural groups. Learn about the specific barriers, strengths, cultural values and traditions that impact one's experience of mental health.

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Mental Health Resources for Black, Indigenous, and People of Color

The way we talk about things can often influence the way we think about them. In the field of mental health, we are familiar with "person first" language. This is language that prioritizes the identity of individuals as human beings with unique experiences and identities over their mental health status. For example, we avoid describing people as "schizophrenics" and instead refer to them as "people with schizophrenia."

This concept can be carried out as well in the way we refer to BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). The continued use of "minority or marginalized" sets up BIPOC communities in terms of their quantity instead of their quality and removes their personhood. The use of these terms directly contradicts MHA's focus on the individual and our hope to empower the individual as a whole person. The word "minority" also emphasizes the power differential between "majority" and "minority" groups and can make BIPOC feel as though "minority" is synonymous with inferiority. Though "minority" and "marginalized" may continue to be used in academic spaces, the words the mental health community uses need to change in order to help communities understand how these terms create and perpetuate negative images and stereotypes of individuals that identify as BIPOC. By including "BI" Black and Indigenous in addition to "POC" people of color, we are honoring the unique experiences of Black and Indigenous individuals and their communities, as well as the spectrum of existence and experience by POC. Thus, as of July 2020, MHA will no longer use the term "minority" and is currently phasing out the term "minority" across our materials and website. This change helps demonstrate that we are actively working on looking at our own work and the role we play in educating others.

To promote and be effective in addressing mental health for all, MHA uses a racial equity and intersectional lens to highlight, better understand, and effectively respond to the range of experiences held by individuals and families with diverse values, beliefs, and sexual orientations, in addition to backgrounds that vary by race, ethnicity, religion, and language.

That's why we've put together the information in this hub:

BIPOC mental health statistics and general information

BIPOC Mental Health Infographic

Healthcare disparities among Black, Indigenous, and People Of Color

Policy issues relevant to special populations

July Is BIPOC Mental Health Month

Formally recognized in June 2008, Bebe Moore Campbell National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month was created to bring awareness to the unique struggles that underrepresented groups face in regard to mental illness in the United States.

Bebe Moore Campbell was an American author, journalist, teacher, and mental health advocate who worked tirelessly to shed light on the mental health needs of the Black community and other underrepresented communities.

In an effort to continue the visionary work of Bebe Moore Campbell, each year we develop a public education campaign dedicated to addressing the needs of BIPOC.
Click here to view this year's campaign
BIPOC mental health statistics and general information
Please note that the statistics below are a brief overview of the prevalence of mental health conditions in special populations. For more details about prevalence, access and treatment issues, and beliefs/attitudes surrounding mental health, click on the underlined titles for more.

Percent of African Americans with Mental Illness: 17% [Source]

Number of African Americans with Mental Illness: 6.8 million

Latinx/Hispanic American Community

Percent of Latinx/Hispanic Americans with Mental Illness: 15% [Source]

Number of Latinx/Hispanic Americans with Mental Illness: 8.9 million

Asian American/Pacific Islander Community

Percent of Asian Americans with Mental Illness: 13% [Source]

Number of Asian Americans with Mental Illness: 2.2 million

Native and Indigenous Communities

Percent of Native Americans/Alaskan Natives with Mental Illness: 23% [Source]

Number of Native Americans/Alaskan Natives with Mental Illness: 830,000

Percent of people who identify as being two or more races with mental illness: 25% [Source]

People who identity as being two or more races are most likely to report any mental illness within the past year than any other race/ethnic group.

Percent of Individuals who Identify as LGBTQIA+ with Mental Illness: 37%

Number of Individuals who Identify as LGBTQIA+ with Mental Illness: 3.9 million [Source]

Mental Health America released a report on LGBTQ+ mental health using data gathered from our online screening tools here. Click here for an infographic on BIPOC mental health
Policy issues relevant to special populations

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To promote and be effective in addressing mental health for all, MHA uses a racial equity and intersectional lens to highlight, better understand, and effectively respond to the range of experiences held by individuals and families with diverse values, beliefs, and sexual orientations, in addition to backgrounds that vary by race, ethnicity, religion, and language.

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Check out this webpage for more information about how our cultural identities are specifically impacted by mental health. It also has resources for specific cultural groups where you can learn more!

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Discover how diverse communities can receive better care when a mental health professional takes into account cultural needs and differences.

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How to Support a Friend with Mental Health Challenges

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How to Support a Friend with Mental Health Challenges

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Here are some more tips that you can read through to help you feel more prepared in supporting a friend.

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How to Support a Friend With Mental Health Challenges - Child Mind Institute

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What to do when a friend with mental health challenges turns to you to vent, unload, and ask for backup. How to be a supportive friend while still taking care of yourself, too.

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Our emotions can be thought of as products of certain chemicals and neurotransmitters in our brains. These are the big four "Happiness Chemicals" and how you can help increase them.

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Our brains are very complex organs. There is so much that we are still learning about our brains, but here are things that scientists have figured out.

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Why is talking about suicide so important?

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Why is talking about suicide so important?

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This song, which is named after what was once the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline phone number, was released in 2017 by rapper Logic featuring Alessia Cara and Khalid. "1-800-273-8255" quickly became a top hit, leading to this trio of artists performing it in the 2017 and 2018 Grammy's. In a study published by the British Medical Journal in December, 2021, it found that the song was associated with increase calls to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline which allowed opportunities for more intervention and chances to connect people with support.

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Logic - 1-800-273-8255 ft. Alessia Cara & Khalid (Official Audio)

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Suicide can be a hard thing to talk about and sometimes we can feel lost about how to respond. This infographic provides tips on how you can acknowledge and respond to signs of suicide in yourself or others.

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Suicide is a complex issue. Please follow think link to learn more and to stay current with new information.

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Suicide is a serious public health problem that can have lasting harmful effects on individuals, families, and communities. There are many factors that contribute to suicide. The goal of suicide prevention is to reduce factors that increase risk and increase factors that promote resilience.

48,000
Suicide is a leading cause of death in the United States. It was responsible for over 48,000 deaths in 2021.

12.3 Million
In 2021, an estimated 12.3 million adults seriously thought about suicide, 3.5 million made a plan, and 1.7 million attempted suicide.

2.6% Higher
Provisional 2022 data show that suicide deaths increased by 2.6% between 2021-2022. Click here to access provisional data.

Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

Connect with a trained crisis counselor. 988 is confidential, free, and available 24/7/365.

Visit the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for more information at 988lifeline.org .

Connect with the Veterans Crisis Line to reach caring, qualified responders with the Department of Veterans Affairs:

Suicide prevention is everyone's business. You can #BeThere and #BeThe1To help a friend, loved one, or coworker. Everyone can learn the warning signs and how to get help.

Everyone-adults, teens, and even children, experiences stress. Learning healthy ways to cope with stress and getting the right care and support can help reduce stressful feelings and symptoms. Find tips for parents, kids and teens, and school personnel.

To receive email updates about this topic, enter your email address:

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Suicide is a serious public health problem that has lasting harmful effects on individuals, families, and communities. Many factors contribute to suicide, but suicide is preventable.

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The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.

1-800-273-8255

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Skip to main content

We can all help prevent suicide. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.

988

¡Los servicios de texto y chat de 988 Lifeline ya están disponibles en español!
Haga clic aquí para obtener información sobre cómo acceder a todos los servicios en español.

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Stock photo by iStock.

The 988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We're committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

About The Lifeline

Anyone could be struggling with suicide. Find more specific resources below.

I'm Struggling With Individuals with Neurodivergence

We understand that every struggle is different. Experience the stories of people like you, and how they overcame crisis to find hope and recovery.
read stories of hope & recovery

First, you'll hear an automated message featuring additional options while your call is routed to your local 988 Lifeline network crisis center.

We'll play you a little music while we connect you to a skilled, trained crisis worker.

A trained crisis worker at your local center will answer the phone.

This person will listen to you, understand how your problem is affecting you, provide support, and get you the help you need.

988 Lifeline Center calls are free and confidential, and we're available 24/7.

Show What Happens When You Call The Lifeline

Everyone Plays A Role In Suicide Prevention

Get in touch

Call the Lifeline

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Skip to main content We can all help prevent suicide. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States. 988 ¡Los servicios de texto y chat de 988 Lifeline ya están disponibles en español!

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The Trevor Project is dedicated to providing support and resources to LGBTQ youth including resource for healthy relationships. Check it out!

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Resources for Healthy Relationships | The Trevor Project

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Here are some helpful resources to help you explore the topic of healthy relationships.

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Relationships, Questions About Relationships, and Healthy Relationships for Guys. Click to learn more!

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We have a lot of different kinds of relationships in our lives. Our relationship with ourselves is one of the most important, because we will have this relationship our whole lives. It can be helpful to work towards having a healthy, caring and compassionate relationship with ourselves.

We also have relationships with friends, family, our community, people at school or work, and the land that we live on. Part of having a healthy relationship with ourselves is knowing what being in healthy relationships with others looks like. This includes being able to set healthy boundaries with the people in our lives as well as respecting their boundaries.

Dating (romantic relationships, going out, or whatever you want to call it) can exist on a spectrum, from healthy to unhealthy and sometimes abusive. In a healthy dating relationship, all people have equal power and are involved in decision making. We also need mutual respect and trust. If important things like respect and trust are missing, it may be an unhealthy relationship. If there is fear, threats and/or physical, sexual, financial, emotional/mental or spiritual abuse happening, then it often is an abusive relationship.

To figure out where your relationship might fit into the spectrum, check out the "Relationship Spectrum" activity at loveisrespect.org.

Setting emotional and physical boundaries with people in our lives is an important part of creating healthy relationships. Talking about boundaries allows people to be aware of each other's needs and comfort levels. This sets up a foundation of respect so both people can feel safe and healthy in the relationship.

What do healthy boundaries look and feel like?

Feeling comfortable communicating about what you want and don't want

Respecting what your partner wants and doesn't want

Recognizing when you are happy and unhappy

Being excited and interested in learning new things and in your own hobbies and projects

Having personal boundaries that apply to everyone

Having a partner that adds to your excitement in life, but is not the only source of excitement

Encouraging others to have boundaries too

Feeling safe and secure

Being aware of your choices and honouring your feelings and intuition while respecting their feelings

Recognizing that you have the right to protect your privacy without having to lie or feel guilty

Being able to negotiate in a fair way (while maintaining boundaries & values that are important to you)

In order to build healthy relationships, we need to work on communicating our own boundaries as well as respecting other people's boundaries. Sometimes this means learning healthy ways of working through our own emotions. This could mean talking to someone we trust like a counselor or family member about it, or engaging in an activity that helps us reflect and let go like writing, art, walking, etc. Sometimes it can be hard to deal or accept our partner's boundaries when they are not aligned with what we want. Dealing with feelings of rejection or disappointment can be challenging and are also a normal part of life.

Examples of healthy communication in setting boundaries:

1.While it's important to spend quality time with your partner, it's also important to make time for yourself, your friends and your family too! This means being able to tell your partner when you need time alone. Both people should feel free to hang out with friends or family without their partner.

Example:
Your partner wants to hang out with you and your friend today. You were looking forward to spending some one on one time with your friend, catching up and going to a movie together. Here is how you could respond:
Partner: "Can I come to the movie with you and Alex today?"
You: "Actually, I think Alex and I are just going to get some friend time in today to catch up one on one. Maybe we could go to a movie together next week though."
Partner: "Oh, no problem. I understand. Hope you two have fun!"
You: "Thanks. Talk to you later"

2. When it comes to sex and intimacy in a relationship, people get to decide what they feel comfortable with and set boundaries around what they want and don't want. Communicating about comfort levels, likes and dislikes and asking for consent before doing anything are really important for creating fun and comfortable sexual experiences for both people. Communication is also essential for building respect, trust and ultimately healthy relationships. Check out our Consent section for more information!

Example:
You just started dating someone. You want to kiss them, but you don't want it to go any farther at this point. Here is how you could respond:
You: "Hey, I'd really love to kiss you, do you want to?"
Partner: "Yes, I'm into that."
You: "Okay great, I think that's as far as I want to go right now though. "
Partner: "That's fine. Whatever you're comfortable with sounds good to me. "

3. Everyone has a right to privacy in a relationship. This includes social media and phones. People get to keep their passwords, text messages, phone, snapchat etc. private. Both people are independent and deserve respect in a relationship. This includes respecting that each person has their own life, hobbies, friends and right to privacy. It's not okay to go into a person's phone or social media accounts without asking for permission. It's also not okay to expect to have access to a partner's phone and social media.

Example:
Your partner asks to use your phone; they want to check out your photos and snap chat and want to know your password so they can get into your phone. You don't feel comfortable sharing your password and feel weird about them looking through all your stuff. Here is how you could respond: Partner: "I'm bored. Hey, can I look through your photos and snapchat? What's your password?"
You: "Ummm, I'm not really comfortable with sharing my password and other people looking through my phone. You can look at my snapchat post through your account though. "
Partner: "Okay. That's cool. I totally respect your privacy. "
You: "Cool. Thanks. Can I show you some pictures of that cute dog I saw yesterday though?"
Partner: "Yes!"

It's important and okay to have boundaries that are not negotiable and if a partner isn't respecting your boundaries, pressures you to do something that just doesn't feel right, or they try to control you in some way, that's not okay.

Some things you can do if your partner isn't respecting your boundaries:

Talk to them about it. Tell them to stop. Tell them how they are not respecting your boundary and that this is not okay. (If you feel safe)

If it doesn't feel safe to talk to them about it or they continue disrespecting your boundaries after you've talked to them about it, it may mean the relationship is unhealthy or abusive. If this is happening, it's important that you get support and talk to someone about it or make a break-up plan. (See the Abuse & What to do section below)

Talk to someone you trust about it. You could talk to a friend or family member, a guidance counselor, elder, or a counselor in your community.

Call a phone line to talk about it as well as to get more information and resources, Kids Help Phone is 1-800-668-6868, they also offer online or ap-chat Wednesday-Sunday or the Klinic Crisis Line is 204-786-8686 or 1-888-322-3019.

Healthy Relationships

Positive relationships where people feel safe and respected are good for our emotional, physical, mental and spiritual health. In terms of dating relationships, we all have different things we want in a partner or from a dating situation because we are all attracted to and want different things. However, there are some basic qualities that everyone's list should have in common, such as respect, consent, trust, honesty, and healthy boundaries. Healthy relationships can be a source of happiness and help people to feel connected.
Everyone's list might look a little different, but some things you might want in Healthy Relationships include:

Mutual Trust - This means that you trust your partner and they trust you. You trust each other to respect the boundaries and agreements you've committed to in your relationship. You have faith that you will treat each other in a kind and caring way. Trust is often something that develops over time and the people build together in a relationship.

Respect - Respect means treating the other person with kindness, as a worthy and valuable being. It means that you treat them well and honour their integrity, rights and independence.

Honesty - Being honest often means telling the truth, but more than that it's also about being true to yourself, honoring yourself, and communicating about who you are and what you need or want in a relationship.

Equality - This means that both partners have equal power and say in the relationship. It means that emotional and physical workloads are shared.

Good communication - Communicating openly and kindly can take practice. You can practice being assertive about your needs and wants every day including during a conflict and also by listening to your partner's needs and wants and by negotiating fairly. The more you practice communicating the better you will get at it.

Kindness

Care & Compassion

Patience

Support

Affection

Attraction

Quality time together

Time apart

Safety

Make your own list! Having our own personal list of what a healthy relationship means for us can make it easier to figure out what we want in a relationship and what we don't want. It can also help us think about what kind of partner we want to be and assess what we are good at already and what we might need to work on. Creating healthy relationships is a process and we are all learning. Building healthy relationships does take work, but they should be fun and enjoyable too! We don't always see good examples of healthy relationships in our lives or in media, so it's important to find good role models or seek out more examples. Everyone deserves healthy, positive and caring relationships.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that often only recognizes two genders, men and women. That's called a gender binary. A binary is a system that only has two options. A role is something that you play. Just like characters in a show or movie, gender roles or scripts tell us how we are supposed to act as males and females. Gender roles are based primarily on stereotypes which are taught to us by media and society around us.
We know that in reality there are many ways to express our genders and it goes way beyond just female and male. Unhealthy relationships and abuse often stem from the binary and the way that we're taught to fit into specific gender roles.

Growing up, boys are taught:

to be strong

to not cry

to not show emotions except to show anger (even when sad)

to want sex all the time

to be aggressive

to do a physical job; be the boss

to be rich/ successful

Growing up, girls are taught:

to be weak

to be really emotional

to care for and nurture others

to serve others

to not voice opinions

they are not supposed to to want sex

to cry a lot

to be passive communicators

to be a "good girl" or "nice"

There is a lot of pressure put on everyone to buy into gender roles. And we are often put down and discriminated against if we don't fit into these gender roles/scripts, like if a girl/woman voices her opinion or if a boy/man shows his emotions. It doesn't really matter what the genders are of the people in a relationship, there can be power imbalances because of different stereotypes like masculine/feminine, aggressive/passive, etc. Look further down this page for more info on healthy and unhealthy masculinity.

We can see that because of these stereotypes, everyone loses out. It hurts all of us because it can make it harder for us to communicate respectfully and honestly within our relationships. Men/guys have a harder time speaking about their fears and are taught to communicate aggressively to fit the male gender role. Women/girls are told that their voices don't matter and that they should put other people ahead of themselves. This often leads to unhealthy or even abusive relationships. When we are discussing relationships, we can see how these gender roles can lead to violence against women and girls.

Using healthy, assertive communication in a relationship means:

respectful communication

respectful conflict but people feel heard and not threatened

partners feel good and respect relationship boundaries

partners feel safe with one another and comfortable being vulnerable

partners can share their emotions in a calm and respectful way

no abuse

Gender roles do not help us meet our needs because they limit us to playing a role instead of being who we are. The roles represent only two extremes of gender when in reality someone could be anywhere in between or not identify at all with them. When we challenge gender roles, it gives us more power to say what we really want for ourselves. We can also figure out ways to communicate and negotiate our sexual boundaries and desires in a respectful way.

You have a right to end a relationship at any point. Sometimes it's the healthiest choice we can make. A relationship doesn't have to be unhealthy or abusive to end. Sometimes healthy relationships come to a natural conclusion too.
Some signs that it may be time to break up are:

Feeling annoyed a lot or uncomfortable

Arguing a lot (even over little things)

Feeling like you've grown apart or want different things

Having different levels of affection

Liking somebody else

Not feeling interested or into your partner / the relationship anymore

Some tips for healthy breakups* are:

Use assertive communication. Ideally tell your partner first hand, not through other people or social media.

Be honest and kind about why you want to end the relationship.

Consider your partner's feelings. Recognize that "guilting" or begging a person into staying is not healthy or helpful to either person.

Negotiate status changes and implications for social networking sites.

Consider taking a break from social media.

Don't spread rumors after the break up.

Try to stay respectful (no matter what your ex is doing or saying.)

*If there is abuse happening in a relationship, this list might look different. See the "Abuse & What to do" section below.

Regardless of whose idea it is to end the relationship, break ups can be difficult. It is important to take care of yourself, get some supports, and work to accept what has happened. If you don't seem to be bouncing back (feel depressed), it may be a good idea to talk to someone you trust about it.

If someone is experiencing abuse, it is never their fault. It is always the fault of the person choosing to use abuse. Abuse is often about one person trying to control or take away someone else's power. If you know about abuse that is happening, or if you are experiencing abuse, tell an adult you trust. Youth in Manitoba can also use crisis lines* for support.

The Klinic Crisis Line is 204-786-8686 or 1-888-322-3019

Kids Help Phone is 1-800-668-6868, they also offer online or ap-chat Wednesday to Sunday

Klinic Sexual Assault Crisis Line is 1-204-8631 or 1-888-292-7565.

*All of these are free and open 24 hrs, 7 days a week.
Some types of abuse are:

Emotional / Mental / Verbal: Using insults, putdowns, or "jokes", keeping someone away from their friends and family, using jealousy to control, using manipulation, guilt tripping, playing mind games, making threats, etc.

Sexual: Coercing, pressuring or trying to change someone's no into a yes, not stopping if someone wants to stop any kind of sexual activity, getting or waiting for someone to be drunk or high in order to have sex with them, any unwanted touching or any verbal harassment /comments about someone's body, sexuality, etc., sending someone unwanted sexy texts, pictures, nudes, or forcing someone to send them.

Financial: Stealing someone's money, bank card, credit card, etc., bribing, keeping someone from going to work or school, forcing someone to work, trying to control what someone does with their money, or wrecking someone's things.

Spiritual: Making fun of someone's spiritual beliefs, making someone feel like they can't practice their spiritual beliefs, prayers or ceremony's, or forcing someone to change their beliefs.

Physical: Hitting, pinching, biting, "play fighting", threats, using intimidation, restraining (blocking doorways, holding wrists, etc), throwing objects, punching walls, trashing space or objects.

What can you do if you are experiencing abuse?

Remember that it is never your fault.

If someone has experienced a sexual assault, it is never their fault, and they deserve support and help. The Klinic Sexual Assault Crisis Program offers support and counseling through their phone line, (204)-786-8631 or 1-888-292-7565. They also offer in-hospital support for medical exams, advocacy, legal support and in-person counseling services.

Tell someone that you trust about what is going on. This could be a family member, close friend, counselor, elder, teacher or phone line, like the Klinic Crisis Line, 1-888-322-3019 or Kids Help Phone, 1-800-668-6868.

Go for counselling somewhere that will help you and be non-judgmental. For people in Manitoba, the Klinic Crisis Line (1-888-322-3019) can let you know what options you have.

Make a safety plan for yourself. If you decide to end the relationship, try to do it in a public place with lots of people around. If you're deciding to stay in the relationship, your safety plan could include having a bag packed in case of emergency, having a list of people you can call and safe places to go any time of day.

Make a break-up plan. If you are ready to end the relationship, make a plan to ensure your safety including when, how and who you can talk to or spend time with for support.

Do things that make you feel good about yourself as it can be hard to feel good when you're being treated badly.

What can you do if a friend is experiencing abuse?

Let them know it is not their fault.

Listen without judging the other person.

Be supportive and don't try to control or criticize them as that will make them less likely to get help.

Check in with them as much as you can.

Tell an adult you trust.

Encourage them to call a phone line, talk to a counsellor or visit a teen clinic.

Talk to someone about it yourself, because it's hard seeing a friend in that situation.

Often people find it hard to talk about abuse because they don't know how other people are going to react. That means it's important to be open and non-judgmental, so people don't keep abuse a secret.

What can you do if a friend is using abuse?

Sometimes people think that if you are witnessing abuse or disrespectful behavior you only have two choices: get physically involved or do nothing. In reality, getting physically involved often leads to the abuser further hurting their partner or 'getting them back' later. It is important to do something, because by doing nothing we are telling the abusive person that what they are doing is okay.

Here are some ways that you can intervene in any situation. Remember, we should always think about our safety, the safety of the person experiencing abuse and the safety of the people around us. For example if someone is using abusive language you could:

When alone, ask your friend how they are feeling about the situation because their behaviour is probably coming from a place of hurt or anger. Let them know you aren't okay with what is happening.

Offer them support and help to change.

Share resources & information with them

Some things you can say to a friend who is using abuse could be:

"Feeling upset is ok, but your behaviour isn't."

"That's not cool."

"I believe that you can work on yourself and do better."

"I don't like seeing you act that way."

"I see this causing problems for your relationship and for you."

"I can't stand by and watch you continue to hurt someone and I feel like this is driving a wedge between us."

"You are not a bad person, but your behavior is harmful and unhealthy."

Check in with their partner and ask how they would like to be supported.

Role model positive ways to be in a relationship.

Tell an adult that you trust.

It's important to take care of yourself. Someone who is using abuse deserves support and care; however we can't always be the ones to provide that. You have the option to give them resources and take space away from that friendship. Especially if it's impacting you in a really negative way because your friend is not taking responsibility for their behavior, has continued abusing their partner or other people, or they are using abuse & manipulation on you.

If you choose to s top hanging out with your friend who uses abuse, you could say something like ""It hurts me to say this, but I don't think I can stay friends with someone who's hurting others and themselves like this." You can also let them know if they are ready to stop and need help & support, you will be there for them.

Reach out for support. Supporting a friend can be difficult so we need to reach out for non-judgmental support from friends, family, teachers, or guidance counsellors we can trust. Teens in Manitoba can call the Klinic Crisis Line (204-786-8686) or go for free drop-in counselling in Winnipeg at Klinic (167 Sherbrook Street).

What can you do if you are using abuse?

Take responsibility and admit to yourself that you have a problem.

Talk to someone you trust about it like a counsellor, support group, family member, friend, or phone line, etc.

Try to learn different ways of communicating and expressing your feelings.

Learn your triggers such as noticing when you start to get angry by your face turning red, clenching teeth or fists and what you can do to stop yourself..

Leave the relationship, and give the other person space.

Work on changing your behavior. (It is possible, remember that you are not bad person but have bad behavior.)

Healthy Relationships for Guys

So first let's acknowledge that unfortunately, we live in a society that often only recognizes two genders, men and women. That's called a gender binary. We know that in reality there are many ways to express our genders and it goes way beyond just female and male. In order to try and move past this, in this section we will work from the binary for now because the gender binary is so powerful.

The issues in this section actually stem from the binary and the way that we're taught to fit into specific gender roles (how we're taught to act out "masculinity" or "being a man"). That's why, in this section, we speak from the "male" perspective. We also recognize that toxic masculinity can be acted out or expressed by people of other genders and in many different types of relationships, not just heterosexual ones.

Below is some info that we think is specific to guys around masculinity, anger and coping with anger and hard times.

Unhealthy Masculinity

Check out this short trailer for a film called "The Mask You Live In". It's a documentary about masculinity in North America. Just a heads up, it has some swears and harsh language.

As guys, a lot of us probably grew up with certain expectations like:

Be strong

Don't cry

Don't show emotions except anger (even when you're sad)

Want sex all the time

Be aggressive

Do a physical job, be the boss

Be rich/ successful

Be a baller/gangsta

We sometimes call these gender roles or stereotypes. If guys act outside of this list of expectations, we can often be called names or harassed. For example, if a guy does show his emotions, what does he sometimes get called? Fag, wuss...

We know that someone being called a 'fag' is an example of homophobia. This is a perfect example of how all guys are negatively affected by homophobia, even heterosexual men. Homophobia can be incredibly harmful, especially when people are made to feel unsafe by bullying or harassment. We all have a right to attend school or work safely and be free of harassment. If we are experiencing bullying or see it happening to someone else, we need to reach out to an adult that we trust for support.

We are taught these negative messages and stereotypes from: TV/movies, music videos, magazines, internet, social media, billboards and our own experiences with friends and family.

If we see violent behaviour growing up in our family, we may think it is normal or okay to use violence to control the people in our lives.

Buying into these gender stereotypes can affect us as guys, and our relationships, in negative ways like:

Not being able to talk about feelings or ask for help for fear of being seen as "weak." This can lead to higher rates of mental illness and thoughts of suicide.

Our partner being afraid of us

Having a higher chance of committing sexual assault or rape

Not doing what we want in life for fear of being made fun of

Feeling pressured to be sexually active

Feeling jealous and angry

Gender roles/stereotypes stop us from meeting our needs because they limit us to playing a role instead of being who we really are. People are even punished by society for acting outside of a gender role. The roles represent only an extreme of gender, when in reality someone could be anywhere in between or not identify at all with the stereotypes.

Re-Defining Masculinity

We know that unhealthy masculinity can hurt our relationships. The good thing is that we can redefine what it is to be a guy/man and explore characteristics that can help us have healthy relationships.

Check out this quick video to help explore this idea of redefining masculinity. It's an interview with Hip Hop artist JAY-Z about a song he wrote about being a father to his daughter Blue Ivy.

Here are some healthy qualities of being a man:

Strong (in character, able to do what we feel is right even if it's difficult)

Confident (without putting others down)

Able to admit when we are wrong or don't know what to do

Able to show all emotions

Respecting women/other people

Caring

Assertive communicator

Able to ask for help

...what else would you add to this list?

When we make a new definition of masculinity or refuse to act out unhealthy gender roles, we gain the power to communicate and navigate our relationships with respect and dignity. Is this always easy? No, it might take work and practice. And the reality is, sometimes we get our way more when we act tough. But what is lacking is honest connections with people and healthy, long-lasting relationships built on respect and trust.

Anger

Anger is a normal human emotion. It can be caused by anything from a friend's annoying behaviour to worries about personal problems or memories of a troubling or traumatic life event. Click here for more information on trauma and blood/bone memory.

Anger is often related to other emotions. We might first feel afraid, attacked, offended, disrespected, forced, trapped, or pressured. If any of these feelings are intense enough, we think of the emotion as anger. A lot of the time, as guys we feel like the only emotion we can show is anger.

Gender roles or stereotypes such as "toughen up", "take it like a man" and "boys don't cry" can give us the idea that expressing vulnerable and tender emotions equals weakness.

If not addressed positively, anger can lead to violence and hurting ourselves or the people around us. On the other hand, when handled in a positive way, anger can help us stand up for ourselves and others and fight injustices.

It can help to think of anger as a secondary emotion. A primary feeling is what is felt right before we feel angry. We always feel something else first before we get angry.

It can help to think of anger as a tree. Above the ground there is the part of the tree that shows. This represents anger. Most of the tree is actually underground as roots. This hidden part represents the other emotions linked to anger. Some examples of emotions connected to anger could be fear, hurt, embarrassment, sadness etc.

Anger Cues

Our bodies have cues that let us know we are getting angry. If we each learn what they are we can deal with our emotion before it turns into violence. Sometimes when we get angry we notice feeling hot or flushed, clenched fists or jaw, shaking, can't think clearly, etc.

If we can notice and pay attention to these signs with our bodies, we have an opportunity to deal with the emotion in a healthy way. Check out the next section for ways to cope with anger and hard times.

*This section was adapted from Man to Man: A Tool-kit for Delivering Workshops to Men and Boys about Reducing Sexual Assault, http://www.ncdsv.org/images/FSACC_Man-to-Man-English_2009.pdf

Coping and Resources for Guys

Hard times are going to happen in our lives, so it makes sense to try to figure out healthy ways to cope. These can take some time and work to develop but can really help.

Here are some things that might help get you through:

Talk to someone you trust like a friend, family member, Elder, teacher, or counselor

Call a phone line

Mindful breathing

Attend ceremonies

Cultural practices

Meditate or pray

Masturbate

Hang out with friends

Call people you know

Build or fix something

Cry, laugh and get hugs

Do something creative, draw, paint, or play music

Write down your feelings in a letter, journal, blog, or diary

Get information (medical doctor, Elder, spiritual leader, etc.)

Prescription medication (at the dose prescribed to you)

Watch movies

Play sports, dance, sing, ride bike

Read poetry or create your own

Positive self-talk

...or anything else that you find helps you!

Some ways of coping allow us to reflect on and/or release our feelings (e.g. talking, journaling, making music, art). Other ways help us to feel distracted, numb, or avoid feelings (e.g. watching tv, using substances). Ideally, we do both reflective and distracting activities when dealing with difficult times.

It's also important to make sure that whatever we are doing to cope makes us feel better and not worse. You could think of a volume knob- we want it to turn our volume down, not up. For example, punching a punching bag when you get angry with your partner might actually turn your volume up. Instead you might try going for a quick run or something else that turns your volume down and makes you feel less angry.

Substance use or self-medicating is a choice some people make. It may be helpful in the short term to avoid challenging or difficult feelings, but can sometimes lead to problems in the long run. It's important to know that substances and self-medicating can numb all feelings, both "negative" (shame, guilt) and "positive" (joy, hope).

Even though it can be scary to talk to friends, counsellors, or crisis lines about issues that are going on in our lives, it can be helpful. People on the Klinic Crisis Line, Kids Help Phone or Manitoba Suicide Prevention and Support Line are counsellors who are trained to offer support and help. They understand that calling and sharing is a hard thing to do. They will wait with the you and they won't hang up if you are silent or crying.

The services listed above are free, mostly youth-friendly and try to be non-judgmental. If you try one of these places or come across a person you don't find helpful please try another one. Sometimes we have to try a few different resources before we find one we are comfortable with.

Resources that might be helpful:

Klinic Crisis Line: 204.786.8686 / 1.888.322.3019 (24/7)

Manitoba Suicide Prevention and Support Line: 1.877.435.7170 (24/7)

Klinic Drop In Counseling: 204.784.4067 or a local counselling service

Youth Mobile Crisis Unit: 204.949.4777

Kids Help Phone: 1.800.668.6868 or text "connect" to 68-68-68

Child and Adolescent Mental Health Program Centralized Intake: 204.958.9600 (through referral by a teacher, counsellor, or yourself without a doctor's note, free)

Farm, Rural and Northern Stress Line: 1.866.367.3276

Bro Talk - a section of Kids Help Phone website dedicated to providing male (and male-identifying) youth with support and info around relationships, bullying, substance use, sexual orientation and gender identity, suicide and self-injury, depression and sadness.

whiteribbon.ca - movement of men and boys working to end violence against women and girls, promote gender equity, healthy relationships and a new vision of masculinity.

Project MEND: Males Ending Gendered Violence - a Facebook page focused on engaging men and boys to take a stand against male violence against women and girls and on mobilizing action that fosters equality, respect and solidarity.

Questions about Relationships

W hat if you like someone, how would you know? How can you tell someone likes you?

Everyone experiences feelings in a personal way, so we can't tell you exactly how you might know if you like someone or not. Some of the more common signs someone may have include thinking about the person a lot, feeling nervous and/or excited when talking to the person, or physical feelings of attraction.

As for how to know if someone likes you, the only way to know for sure is by talking with them. There may be hints like this person wanting to spend more time with you, or they be flirting with you, but none of these things guarantees they like us in that way. Sometimes we think someone is flirting when they are not and they may want to spend more time for us because they really like us as a friend.

If you like them and are hoping they like you, it's okay to let them know and it's also okay for them not to return these feelings. This may hurt and feel frustrating, but remember that we don't get to put them down or make them feel bad. If they do like you, but you don't share those feelings, then it's also important to be respectful, but also know that you do not owe them anything. Be honest and direct with your feelings.

Having open conversations about our feelings may be intimidating. Check out our section on Communication for more tips on how to have difficult conversations.

It can be a normal thing to want to find love and/or be in a relationship. We can't give you an exact answer, because there is no set way to find love. Some people get set up by friends and fall in love, others turn to online dating and find love, or bump into someone randomly and it leads to love. Some people do all these things and it does not lead to love.

It's also okay to be single! Being single can give you time to focus on the relationship you have with yourself. This is most important relationship you'll ever have. Strengthening this relationship by doing things that are fun, that help you grow and that bring you pleasure also helps provide you with a good foundation for finding healthy relationships in the future.

Remember that you also already have love in your life. Love comes in many forms, not just romantically. There is love with our friends, our family, our pets, ourselves and with the land. These can all provide us with support, care and wellbeing.

I like someone, but they don't like me. What should I do?

It can feel tough when we like someone who doesn't like us back. Rejection doesn't feel good and that's ok. At some point, everyone who is interested in dating, develops a crush on someone who does not return the feelings. While it's okay to feel hurt or frustrated, you do not get to make the other person feel bad for not liking us in the same way. You also can't try to force the person to like us.

It's important to figure out how to deal with any difficult feelings you may be having. It can help to find a mix of things to distract you and things that give you time to reflect on your experience. Having a mix is important because if you only distract yourself you may not be working through your feelings, while only reflecting on things may start to feel overwhelming. Distractions come from things that give us a break from our thoughts and are fun. This could include hanging out with friends, watching movies or Netflix, playing sports and playing video games. These are just a few examples. Reflecting activities give you a chance to think about and start to release your feelings. Some examples include writing, journaling, art, creating or listening to music and talking with someone you trust.

How do you move on from a relationship?

A relationship coming to an end is never an easy thing. The truth is there isn't a short cut or necessarily easy way to move on from a relationship. Start by taking things day to day (or even hour to hour at first). The biggest thing it may take is time. Time to process, time to heal, and time to move forward. How much time will vary from person to person, and from relationship to relationship. You may find at first you are always thinking about the person. Over time it may become every other day, then every few days and then eventually you won't really be thinking about it at all.

It can help to find a mix of things to distract you and things that give you time to reflect on your experience. Having a mix is important because if you only distract yourself you may not be working through your feelings, while only reflecting on things may start to feel overwhelming. Distractions come from things that give us a break from our thoughts and are fun. This could include hanging out with friends, watching movies or Netflix, playing sports and playing video games. These are just a few examples. Reflecting activities give you a chance to think about and start to release your feelings. Some examples include writing, journaling, art, creating or listening to music and talking with someone you trust.

If my partner hit me, is it wrong to hit them back?

From Teen Talk's perspective we all have the right to feel safe in our relationships. This is a really good question, but it's one that's too big to answer without more info. What we can tell you is that responding to violence with more violence tends to worsen the situation. Sometimes we do have to use self-defence, but this is different than hitting someone back. Hitting someone back is an act of violence, while using self-defence may have to be used to leave a situation.

No matter what the situation is, you don't have to go through this alone. Try talking to someone who can help you: a family member, a school counselor, teacher, social worker, teen clinic, or in Manitoba, the Klinic Crisis Line at (204)786-8686 or 1-888-322-3019 (it's free and confidential). If you are in Winnipeg, you can also visit Klinic for free drop-in counselling. Talking to someone you trust about what's going on in your relationship can help sort out how you're feeling and can be helpful in safety planning.

Yes, abuse can happen to anyone. While it's true that most sexual and physical violence is done by men, our society doesn't always talk openly about when guys experiencing abuse. Sometimes guys are called weak or made fun of if they try to come forward with their experiences. This can make it hard for guys and men to admit that they've been hurt or experienced abuse. No one deserves to be abused and it's ok to ask for help.

All people, boys and men and anyone else, who experience abuse deserve support. You can talk about a relationship with a guidance counselor, at a teen clinic, with a trusted friend or family member, or in Manitoba, use the Klinic Crisis Line at 204.786.8686 or 1.888.322.3019, or Kids Help Phone at 1.800.668.6868. If you are in Winnipeg, you can also visit Klinic for free drop-in counselling.

My friend is in an abusive relationship, how can I help them?

It's stressful knowing that someone we care about is in an abusive relationship. Just being there and listening without judging can be a big help. Try to spend time with your friend doing things that are enjoyable and that you both like to do. Remind them that it's not their fault. You can tell them that you think what is happening to them is wrong and unfair. You can also talk about what you both think a healthy relationship would look like. But it's not helpful to demand your friend to leave their relationship. They may be in a vulnerable place and not feel like they have a lot of power in their life. Having another person tell them what to do only takes more power away. Being supportive may mean allowing them to make choices you don't agree with, but being there for them anyways.

You might encourage your friend to talk to other people they trust (and who might be able to help) about what's going on too. This can help them sort out what they are going through and figure out a plan to keep themselves safe and healthy. You could go with them to see the school guidance counsellor or other adult they trust. Other places to go for help could be a teen clinic or nursing station, help lines like the Klinic Crisis Line 204.786.8686 or 1.888.322.3019 or Kids Help Phone 1.800.668.6868, or if you are in Winnipeg you can try free Klinic Drop-In Counselling.

Supporting a friend who's in an unhealthy or abusive relationship can be challenging and stressful. If you think it's getting to be too much it's ok to set boundaries with your friend and get help for yourself too. All the same resources above may be helpful to both you and your friend.

How do you know if you are in an abusive relationship?

Sometimes it hard to know what's happening in a relationship because we might have strong feelings for the person, we might be in denial or we might think some types of abuse are routine or normal. We all deserve to feel safe and respected at all times in our relationships. Do you feel comfortable around your partner and do you trust them? Do you feel like you're always treated with respect? Or do you feel scared and intimidated by your partner? Do you feel worried about how they might react? Our feelings can tell us a lot about how a relationship is doing.

Here's a list of some of the ways abuse can happen in a relationship that we don't always hear about

Insults and name calling

Criticizing your clothes, your friends, or the way you look

Following you around, texting/phoning you all the time and demanding to know where you are

Trying to stop you from seeing your friends or family

Hitting, or throwing things at the wall

Threatening to hurt you or themselves if you leave

Blaming you for the hurtful things they say or do

Trying to force you to have sex

Taking your money

Putting down your spirituality/beliefs

These are only a few examples. If you feel like you may be in an abusive relationship, talk to someone about it. You can talk about a relationship with a school counselor, at a teen clinic, with a trusted friend or family member, or in Manitoba, use the the Klinic Crisis Line (204)786-8686 or 1-888-322-3019, the Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868, or if you are in Winnipeg you can try the free Klinic Drop-In Counselling. If you are in Winnipeg and need temporary shelter call Macdonald Youth Services, 204.477.1804 or the Ndinawe Safe House, 204.586.2588.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A healthy relationship includes feelings of respect, equality and safety. Trust is part of a healthy relationship too, but trust is something that may take time to build, while these other three qualities should be in place from the beginning. A healthy relationship does not mean there are never arguments or uncomfortable moments, but it does mean people know how to handle these situations while maintaining respect, equality and safety for one and other.

Building healthy relationships takes work, but they should be fun and enjoyable too! We don't always see good examples of healthy relationships in our lives or in media, so it's important to find good role models or seek out more examples. You can learn more about healthy relationships by reading the section above. Remember, everyone deserves healthy, positive and caring relationships

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We have a lot of different kinds of relationships in our lives. Our relationship with ourselves is one of the most important, because we will have this relationship our whole lives. It can be helpful to work towards having a healthy, caring and compassionate relationship with ourselves.

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Have you ever wondered what the statistics about teen dating are? Open this infographics to learn more. For additional information please visit www.fear2freedom.org

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It is important to know the differences between characteristics that are healthy, unhealthy and abusive. Read to learn more.

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A healthy relationship is built on Respect, Speaking Up, Support, Safe and Healthy Boundaries, Compromising, and Listening. If your friends and families are concerned about your relationships, that may be something to pay attention to, but you are in charge of your body, decisions, and your relationships.

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Fear2Freedom asks:
If you’re unsure if you’re in a healthy relationship or not, you can ask yourself these questions. Are you being respected and treated fairly? Are you safe? Can you set boundaries and spend time apart? If you hesitate to answer these questions or are concerned for a friend or loved one, you can get help at the Break the Silence Hotline at 855-287-1777 or any of the listed resources