# data[].attributes.body
I think so too.😊
You can chat📱with your friends any time.
For example, there is Kakao Talk, message, Instagram, Dm
You can take pictures🎨 any time.
Most people take pictures to leave a memory📷
You can use the internet too
You can read books📖 or cartoons easily.
You can watch comfortably in bed🛏
You can do your homework with your smartphone
I always do my English homework on my smartphone
You can buy things📦 easily.
You can have fun😄 using a smartphone.
Using a smartphone is good 👍

# data[].attributes.body
I don't think so.

school uniform is uncomfortable to wear.
You can't freely wear the clothes you want.
If you only see and wear the same clothes, you might get bored.

I am don't wearing a school uniform.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.

First, Animals are suffering in the zoo.
For example, polar bears are suffering from heating and they cannot run on the snow so they get stressed so they even attack their babies.

Second, we need to spend a lot of money to feed them. In the zoo we spend just for eat 2500million won.
With inflation, it is more difficult to pay their food.

Third, now the animals are can't breed cause of zoo. Becaus  they get stressed in terrible condition so they can't breed. This has a great loss about nature. Now,the animals are Extinction right now.

These reasons are why I think the zoo should be banned.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
The internet real-name system should be used on the internet.
I think the real-name system is a very effective(효과적인) way to prevent(막다) online terror.
A lot of people rudely(무례하게) reply to articles(글, 기사) and spread(퍼뜨리다) rumors just for fun.
If people's real names are known, it is very likely(- 할것 같은) that most people will be more careful when they write something on the Internet.

# data[].attributes.body
I don't think so.
I think reading cartoons is good.
First, reading cartoons can help you develop your creativity.
Second, when you read a romance cartoon, you can revive a dead love cell. Like <April is your lie>
Third, When you are depressed, you will feel good when you read a funny cartoons. I can recommend <Bungo stray dogs>, <My hero academia>, <SPY × FAMILY>, <Gintama>.

# data[].attributes.body
I don't think so.
Watching TV is bad.
Watching TV makes you move less.
Your eyesight is getting worse.
You waste a lot of time because of watching TV.
And There are some bad programs for students.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
I think in-person classes are better than online classes.
First, we learn how to make friends at school. School is not just a place for learning knowledge.

Student can socialize with peers of their own age at school.

Second, students can learn things more actively through in-person classes.
It is more helpful to understand when you learn first-hand.

Playing games and doing physical activities can help you to stay healthy physically and mentally.
For those reasons, I strongly believe that in-person classes have more benefits than online classes.
Remember we cannot live alone.

The more connected we are, the less we are connecting.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
You know if you are using a smartphone, it's very useful.
You can use internet for searching what you don't know before.
>>사전, 이미지 검색 등 어떤 것을 검색했는지 경험 추가하기.
And you can chat with your friends.
You can play the games, too.
>>스마트폰 게임 이용자 수에 대한 자료를 추가하기.
Then, I think using smartphone is good.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
I think it is good to wear a school uniform.

First, it is easy to distinguish from other schools.

Second, you don't have to think about what to wear in the morning.

Finally, You can also feel the unity.

So I think it is good to wear a school uniform.

# data[].attributes.body
I don’t think so.
I think zoos should exist.

First, without zoos, animals would try to harm humans.
There is a case in which a wild boar attacked and injured people. It is too dangerous for people.

Second, animals can only be seen if they go to their habitat.
If an animal lives in Indonesia, it has to go to Indonesia, and if it lives in the Arctic, it can only be seen in the Arctic.

Finally, endangered species will eventually become extinct.
Weak animals will continue to be eaten by strong animals, and they will eventually become extinct.

So I think zoos should exist.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
I think It is good.
First, It will prevent bad comment.
Not using real-name system,
>>악플에 대한 사례나 부정적인 결과를 계속 추가하기.

# data[].attributes.body
I don't think so.
Reading cartoons is good.
Cartoons give you fun.
Because there are many pictures  in comic books.
Some cartoon books help students study.
For example, math thief, WHY? series and so on.
You can easilyunderstand
If you read novel, however here are not pictures.
So you may not easily understand.
But cartoons have pictures, so you may be easy to understand.
Cartoon is good

# data[].attributes.body
I don't think so.

Watching a lot of TV can make you addicted.

>>TV 시청에 중독되면 어떻게 되는지에 대한 예시나 위험성에 대해 더 강조하는 내용을 넣으면 근거가 더 명확해짐.

Watching a lot of TV can cause conflicts with parents.
>>왜 갈등하게 되는지 구체적으로 부모의 입장, 학생의 입장을 추가하면 논리적인 글 만들기.
And Watching a lot of TV makes you feel tired, and as a result,you can't concentrate on what I have to do

So,watching TV is bad.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.

I think In-person classes is(>>are) better than online classes.

Because we can't do physical activity (>>in online classes.)
>>체육 활동에 대한 예시(피구 등)를 들고 많은 학생들이 그것을 하지 못했을 때 어떤 감정, 기분인지 추가하기.
And staring a computer (>>for a long time) can damage your eyes.
>>시력이 나빠지는 연구결과나 시력이 나빠진 예시/경험 등을 추가하기.
You can watch other programs while pretending to be in class.
>>You 대신 몇몇 학생(Some of the students)으로 수정하는 것이 더 좋음. 그렇게 행동했을 때 부정적인 결과를 추가하기.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.

Because
1#People can chat with friends who live far away.
Smartphones allow you to conveniently send and receive messages anytime, anywhere

2#People can take pictures and use the Internet with a smartphone.
People take pictures of food, scenery, themselves, etc., so it is convenient to have a smartphone

3#Smartphones are very fun.
Most people use a video app called YouTube a lot. Smartphones are fun video apps, and you can watch videos anywhere you have a smartphone.

I think using a smartphone is very good👍.

# data[].attributes.body
When I go to school, I feel uncomfortable when I take classes.
If the uniform disappears or gets dirty, the teacher will scold you for not wearing it.
It prevents students' freedom and taste.
I'm against wearing school uniforms.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.

First, we need to release animals even if we like animals.
>>동물을 좋아하지만 가둬두면 안 된다 이런 의미 맞죠? 두번째 근거에 적은 내용이 첫 번째 근거랑 연결되는 것 같은데.. 동물들도 생명체이고 권리가 있다는 거..
They need to be free too. In the zoo, they don't have any freedom.

Second, animals originally live in the wild. They used to live in a different way. (used to ~했었다)
>>동물들은 사람들이 주는 먹이가 아니라 직접 사냥을 해서 먹었다. 그리고 스스로 살아남는 법을 배워야했다. 그것이 원래 동물들의 삶이다. 이런 내용으로 뒷받침하는 건 어떤지?

Third, they lost their family in the zoo.
>>좋은 근거라고 생각함. 큰 동물의 경우 가족들이 다 같이 살기보다는 흩어지는 경우가 있겠지요? 그리고 태어난 지 얼마 안 된 새끼동물들의 입장을 추가해서 쓰는 것도 좋겠음.

so I think zoo should be banned.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
If there are not real name system in online, people cursed each other because people don't know about them. And they can kill people in online. For exmple, sulli(설리) killed herself because of bad comments.
So I think real name system should be used on internet.

# data[].attributes.body
I don't think so.
I think reading cartoons is good.
Whenever you read a learning comics, you can get useful information and have fun.
>>학습만화로 ~가 있고 많은 학생들이 ~를 본다와 같이 주장을 뒷받침하는 내용 추가하기.
And cartoons have many interesting stories.
>>그래서 만화를 통해 공부를 즐겁게 할 수 있다는 내용 추가하기.
->이 근거는 학습만화가 아닌 일반 만화책의 장점에 대한 것 입니다.
They have pretty illustrations, too.
It upgrades your painting skill and power of imagination.
Then, I think reading cartoons is good.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so, too!
I think watching TV is good

First, we can get useful information from TV.
For example, I can find out the science-related story I was curious about through TV.

Second, TV tells us what we need to know.
For example, it tells us what we must protect nature or why we must protect nature.

Third, if you advertise on TV, many people can easily understand (it spreads quickly), and you can find what you want through advertisements.
For example, when there is no game I can play, I can play the game after watching a game advertisement.

# data[].attributes.body
I think using a smartphone is good. 🤣
Because playing game and Watching youtube channels are so  fun.
>>어떤 게임을 하는지? 유튜브 채널 중 어떤 것을 즐겨 보는지 나의 이야기 추가하기.
Also People can send a message very easily.🤩🤩🤩

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
I think wearing school uniform is good.
First, If school uniform is pretty, you will feel good and you will feel pretty every time you wear it.
Second, If you want to find students in your school in a crowded place, you can check your school uniform and find it quickly.
Third, If the school is good, you will feel proud when you wear a school uniform.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
I think zoo should be banned.

First, animals in the zoo are very uncomfortable.
Because, people see them often every day.

Second, they live in cage.
Therefore, They must be frustrated.
Third, we were let them be locked up in cage.
Animals have rights, too.

Therefore, zoo should be banned.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
I think it's need to do real name system.

First it will nicer to saw when we a comments. Cause it will know who do this comment. Than we can get closer with who ever have a nice comments.

# data[].attributes.body
No, I don't think so.
Because reading comic books can relieve your stress.
>>만화를 보면 힘들거나 슬픈 일을 잊을 수 있다 뭐 이런 내용인건가? 그러면 어떤 만화가 스트레스 해소에 좋은 지 더 적어보는 것도 좋음.
Also it is fun. If you go to a comic book store, you can even eat food. With your friend, it is more fun.
>>만화보러 간 경험이 있다면 그 때의 이야기를 좀 더 추가하기.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so too!!
You can learn many things by watching TV
For example, I can learn animals🐤, plants🌵, countries🇰🇷, history, etc
And you can relieve your boredom🥱->😀
And these days, you can listen to music🎵 on TV
Whenever I am bored🥱, I listen to music🎵 on TV

# data[].attributes.body
I think so. Because we can easily check information with a smartphone.
>>중요한 정보를 쉽게 확인할 수 있다는 장점이라고 쓰고 뒤에 예를 들어, 뉴스나 숙제, 알림장 등을 쉽게 볼 수 있다고 추가해서 적으면 내용이 자연스러움.
And we talk to other person with a smartphone.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so too. I think zoos have to be banned for three reasons.

First, they can get injured. As they are taken away from their homes, they are not adapted to the new environment. So, they can do dangerous things.

Second, they can get homesick.  As they are living at a new environment, they can miss their homes. For example, imagine that you're traveling far away. Wouldn't you feel homesick? Like this, animals can get it too.

Finally, they can be sick. They can get lots of stress from people as people watch them all the time. Also, as they are trapped in a small amount of space, they can be depressed.

In conclusion,  I think zoos have to be banned for these reasons.
>>몇 개 표현만 수정했고, 나머지 잘 했음!

# data[].attributes.body
The first life can be happy And I can be a genius through the book

# data[].attributes.body
I don't think so.
There are three reasons that watching TV is bad.
First, Tv makes your eyes bad.
Watching TV for a long time can fix your eyes in one place and reduce the number of blinks, making your eyes dry or tired. If the TV screen is too bright, it is blinding, and on the contrary, if it is dark, it becomes tired because it exerts strength to focus on the screen.

# data[].attributes.body
I don't think so.
>>Some people don't talk too much with smartphones.
For me, I spend less time talking to my family. I don't need a smartphone much. 이런 식으로 쓰는 건 어떤지?

If you are addicted to smartphones, you will only use them all day long.
>>중독에 걸린 사람들은 어떤지 , 부정정인 사례를 추가하기.
Finally, the relationship between friends and family can become distant.
>>관계가 멀어지게 되는 과정을 하나씩 써보기.

For this reason, I think Using a smartphone is bad.
>>'이러한 이유로' 추가하는 건 어떤지?

# data[].attributes.body
I think so too.  I think school uniforms are good for two important reasons.

First,  all students can be equal. Some students can have lots of money. So, they can wear pretty and expensive clothes. On the other hand,  students who don't have enough money can't wear these clothes. So, they can be depressed. However,  if there are school uniforms,  students can all be equal.

Second, you can save lots of time. For example, when I get ready for school, I waste a lot of time choosing clothes. However,  if there are school uniforms,  we don't have to waste time in the morning.  Like this, if there are  school uniforms, we can save a lot of time.

In conclusion,  because all students can be equal and that we can save a lot of time, I think school uniforms are good for these reasons.

# data[].attributes.body
I don't think so.

If zoos are closed, there will be many hungry and unhealthy animals. People can protect them from hunger and disease.

And there are some animals in the mountain or street. They can come to the town and harm or kill people. Some of them bumped into a car, making accidents. Animals can steal foods or crash down our life. People can protect ourselves with having zoos.

So I think banning zoos are not good idea.
Thank you🫡❕️

>>2,3번째 근거가 야생 동물때문에 피해를 받는다는 비슷한 내용이라 하나로 합침. 몇 가지 표현 조금 추가하고 고쳤음! 굿!

# data[].attributes.body
I think so, too!

First, you can find information using Internet.
>>나의 경우 스마트폰으로 ~를 검색한 적이 있다 내용 추가하기
Second, you can play games with your friends.
>>스마트폰 게임의 예시를 들어, 친구와 관계를 돈독히 할 수 있다는 내용 추가하기
Third, you can communicate with someone even at a distance by phone or message.
>>사용하는 스마트폰 앱들을 예로 들어 설명 보충하기
Finally, you can track the cell phone location to catch criminals or find out where they are.
>>범죄 예방에 도움이 된다는 내용이 신선함. 실제 스마트폰 위치 추적 기능을 활용해서 도움이 되었던 사례를 찾아보기.

I think using a smartphone is good, so I'll use my cell phone.

# data[].attributes.body
I don't think so.
I think wearing school uniform is bad.

First, students can't show their own colors and unique fashion style. Everyday they will wear same clothes, so they can't show their own unique fashion style.

Second, students can be bored of wearing things. They will wear the same cloth everyday so they can't get fun of wearing clothes. Students will study everyday so they can't get fun of things. The only way to be happy is wearing clothes for them. But, if they wear the same school uniform, they will be not happy.

Lastly, school uniforms are very uncomfortable.
They are mostly made of non-elastic material. Student can get hard of wearing school uniform.

In conclusion, wearing school uniform is bad.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so too.
Zoos should be banned.
This is because animals that live in zoos are under tremendous stress and finally die inn sever cases.
For example, whales living in zoos die under stress or have flipper.
>>고래가 스트레스로 죽고 지느러미가 있다? 무슨 뜻인지?
Polar bears change their fur color because it is too hot.
>>북극곰이 동물원에 사나요?.. 동물원은 덥나요?

# data[].attributes.body
I don't think so.
First, When I watch cartoons I can develop creativity and imagination. Second,

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
There are three reasons that why using a smartphone is good.
First, you can communicate with others.
You can talk with others without meeting.
That's very comfortable.
>>You can save money, time and energy. 이 문장 중간에 추가하는건 어떤지?

Next, you can use smartphone anywhere, anytime.
Smartphone is small so you can go(carry it) anywhere.
And, you can use smartphone anytime.
But you should have (enough) data.

Finally, you can use internet.
When you don't know something, you can search it with a smartphone.
>>많은 사람들이 구글, 00,000을 검색을 하기 위해 이용한다. 예시 추가하기.
And you can use various apps such as youtube, games, and many others.
There are many useful apps in smartphone.

>>'그래서' I think using a smartphone is good.
What do you think?

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
Wearing school uniform is good.
First, it is very comfortable.
You don't have to worry about your fesion.
And You can save the moneys to buy your clothes.
These designs are quite pretty, too.
for these reasons, I think wearing school uniform is good.

# data[].attributes.body
So zoos should be banned.

# data[].attributes.body
추가해할 내용 smartphone is 👍  play game 🎮  roblox is good so listen music 🎶  so camara very very good(^_^)(^_^)(^_^) YouTube watching hot sauce❤️‍🔥is very good

# data[].attributes.body
I think so, too.

First, zoos' environments are not good for animals.
A large zoo might be good, but when it's small, it is hard to live in. Korea's zoos are too small.

Second, animals can be hard to adjust zoos' environment.
Climate, environment are different from the environment which they lived before.

Last, I think animals rights are destroyed by zoo.
Watching and training them violates their rights.
So I think zoo should be banned, especially in Korea.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
Because smartphones can talk on the phone with people who are far away For example, there are Kakao Talk, messages, and you can find the necessary information on the Internet. Other than that, I think it is good to use a smartphone because of listening to music or SNS (YouTube, Instagram, etc.).

# data[].attributes.body
I think is to run a zoo because of global warminggg these day, the environment is not good for animal to live in, but it is easier to live in a zoo but, it is not good either Desert foxs,penguin,polar bear etc. need their environment to fit their bodies,but the zookeeper can't take care of them properly.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.

I think zoo shoud be banned.

First, displaying(전시) animals is a big STRESS for animals. We shoud also change our position(입장을 바꿔서 생각하자)..
>>누가 당신을 항상 구경하면 얼마나 스트레스를 받을지 생각해봐라. 이런 문장이 하나 더 있으면 좋을 듯.
Seconde, we don't know when the animals will escape and ATTACK us. There maybe a lot of death..
>>실제 동물원에서 ~~가 탈출해서 사람을 공격했더라 등등의 실제 이야기를 찾아서 추가하면 좋음.
Third, animals shoud not be used as recreational(오락용) and educational(교육용). Because that means we are BULLYIN animals.

So I think zoo shoud be banned.

# data[].attributes.body
I think so.
Zoos do not play a role in protecting animals.
Do you know the puma who was shot dead on September 18, 2018 ?
The puma escaped from the zoo and was anesthetized, but was shot dead just because he fled again.
We must not contnue to allow wildife to be captured without permission in the name of protectio and become a spectacle for people.
This is torture , not anlmal protection.