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Similar to FOMO, one pressure I put on myself is to 'be myself'. Something I've recently thought about is how there may not be such thing as a genuine self. Just as emotions can fluctuate, so can versions of the self. Accepting my current 'self' at each stage and version is something I hope to work on.

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I hope to text my grandma at least once a week, call my other grandma often, and keep my family in the loop in general

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I hope to face time my friends from home at least once a month this semester

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Second Wave Positive Psychology Takeaways

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Second Wave Positive Psychology Takeaways

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Suffering and pain are unavoidable in life. It's impossible to work on happiness strategies and not experience pain at the same time. Assigning "good" to happiness and "bad" to suffering will always leave one disappointed by the presence of the "bad". Emotions that we deem "bad" might have just as much benefit as the good: pessimism keeps one realistic, sadness shows one's beautiful sensitivity to the world, suffering can make you appreciate the light even more.

Not only do happiness and suffering coexist, but they are often intertwined with each other. Each feeling is a complex bundle of emotions, and it's impossible to separate them all out.

Perhaps the goal is not happiness, but appreciating and accepting every part of life as it comes.

Also, accepting that change is natural. Change can provide humbleness in positive times and hope in negative times. Accepting the truth of change, and riding each change as it comes can be a liberating thing.

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The academic culture of Wesleyan emphasizes future-oriented and critical thinking: "anti-mindfulness" values. Mindfulness, then, in the context of Wesleyan can be used to take small breaks from our pretty stressful, academic culture. Doing small meditations, stretching, taking mindful walks are all ways to take these small breaks.

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One piece of my definition of fun is the expression of my humor. I find that people with whom my humor comes out most naturally are the people with whom I have the most fun. I define fun as being in a lowered anxiety state where I feel lighthearted and myself. Often, this is prompted by an activity that stimulates this lowered anxiety state. I have most fun when I am surrounded by people whom I feel comfortable expressing my most genuine self.

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Compassion Meditation: https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/compassion_meditation

Self Compassion: https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/

Eva kor on forgiveness: https://candlesholocaustmuseum.org/our-survivors/eva-kor/forgiveness/forgiveness-definition.html

Self Forgiveness: https://www.mindfullivingcounselingservices.com/blog/2020/7/20/guided-meditation-for-self-forgiveness

Second Wave Readings:
https://wesmoodle.wesleyan.edu/pluginfile.php/1298449/mod_resource/content/1/Lomas%20%282016%29.%20The%20art%20of%20second%20wave%20positive%20psychology.pdf

https://wesmoodle.wesleyan.edu/pluginfile.php/1298453/mod_resource/content/1/Lomas%20and%20Ivtzan%20%282015%29.%20Second%20wave%20positive%20psychology%20exploring%20the%20positive%20negative%20dialectics%20of%20wellbeing.pdf

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This class made me realize that there are some people in my life for whom I have not got down an intra-personal journey of forgiveness. I've learned there is a difference between internal forgiveness and reconciliation. This semester, I hope to examine my feelings of forgiveness towards these people without the need to reconcile. Journaling about this process is one way to do this. The meditation below that we did in class was hard for me. I hope to use it to check in, and hopefully as I move along on my forgiveness journey it becomes easier to complete each time. I also hope to recognize that forgiveness and anger are not polar opposites. Second wave positive psychology offers the insight that emotions are often fluid. I can recognize that parts of me may have offered forgiveness while others are hesitant.

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10 Minute Guided Loving-Kindness for Difficult People Who Have Hurt You (Voice Only, No Music)

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FOMO is one of my biggest struggles as a college student. As second wave positive psychologists began to recognize, happiness is only one of a wide array of various emotions that we feel as humans. In having FOMO, I find I am chasing an impossible ideal of happiness that disregards "suffering is a part of being". As I reroute what a 'flourishing plan' looks like for me, I hope to acknowledge that having a fun time is just as important than not having a fun time. A goal for myself is to feel more content in times when I may not be having the 'time of my life' or are 'missing out'. I ultimately think this will bring me closer to the people around me

“The paradoxical notion that it is the effort to seek happiness that creates the very dissatisfaction one aims to alleviate; it is the act of resisting what is, and seeking a “better” state of affairs, that stimulates unhappiness"

"The mastery of the world is achieved by letting things take their natural course"

- Lomas, Harnessing zen aesthetics to explore the dialectics of flouring

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I don't journal right now - and I hope to change that. Journaling in this class has been a way to make discoveries about myself and process my thoughts. I hope to make sure I journal at least once a week, maybe even a short journal each night.

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I've learned in this class that how we frame positive and negative events is entirely up to us. I hope to learn more about my automatic framing and see if I can work towards being more optimistic with my outlook (while also recognizing that a balance of optimism and pessimism is healthy and natural)

Journal prompts:

1) Do I attribute the event to an internal (me) or external (others, circumstances, etc.) cause

2) Do I attribute the even to an variable (random, unlikely) or stable (the way it is) cause

3) Do I attribute the even to a specific (one thing) or global (emblematic of many things) cause

4) are these attributions fair? Are they optimistic or pessimistic? How can/ should I change them?

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I have always identified as agnostic. After years of not thinking about religion and spirituality, I am now starting to wonder where I stand on some of these topics. I have always felt that some of our human emotions and the way we connect with other people goes beyond the scope of what science can explain. While the question of "what I believe in" will always be an ongoing and ever-changing topic, I think that journaling and thinking about it is something that I may want to slowly incorporate into my life. In thinking about purpose, it may be that I derive purpose from what I believe science is unable to explain. Getting to the core of what that is for me would be the tough work.

Journal prompts:

1) what about your day today felt special or spiritual?

2) what parts of your classes have filled you with the most drive?

3) what parts of your day/week/month have lifted you up when you've felt down?

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This semester, I hope to take the time to recognize three things that made me feel gratitude at the end of my day and write them down

I also resonated with the journal prompt:

1) what have I received?
2) what have I given?
3) what trouble have I caused?

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specifically strutting on the treadmill

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Below are some activities that bring me a sense of flow. I hope to incorporate each activity into my life at least once a week

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Empathy, gratitude, and altruism are intrinsically linked. Empathy is a skill I am learning I can build just like gratitude. I hope to foster my empathy by

1) Reading more books if I have the time
2) Connecting with people who are unlike me
3) Checking in on friends and family more often
4) Intentionally looking for similarities between myself and others

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My top strength on the VIA character strengths survey was 'appreciation of the beauty of everyday life'. While this may be more of an aspiration and less of a strength at the moment, one method of building my sense of gratitude is to recognize the beauty of my surroundings. I find that when I am most appreciative of my surroundings, I am not only grateful but also in a state of awe which reroute's my emotions in a positive way.

One way I appreciate the beauty around me is to go on a photography walk. I hope to bring my camera to school at least once every three weeks finish a roll of film full of moments that I saw the beauty in my surroundings.

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Below are a variety of ideas for how I hope to flourish next semester and beyond