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According to Florida, the populations and scales of cities are growing larger and larger. Even though the density brought by the height of buildings, as people always think, improves cities’ creativity and productivity, the “Jacobs density” is also important for innovation and economy. Jacobs density is not a physical density of population or rooms, but an abstract description of the extent people mix with each other. Different kinds of people. Buildings, cultures or so can all improve Jacobs density, creating development like technological advancement. Florida says that the balance of both kinds of density is what developers should pursue, as

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According to Florida, the populations and scales of cities are growing larger and larger. Even though the density brought by the height of buildings, as people always think, improves cities’ creativity and productivity, the “Jacobs Density” is also important for innovation and economy. Jacobs density is not a physical density of population or rooms, but an abstract description of the extent people mix with each other. Different kinds of people. Buildings, cultures or so can all improve Jacobs Density, creating development like technological advancement. Florida says that the balance of both kinds of density is what developers should pursue, as

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In the original version, I only capitalized the first letter of Jacob, the name of the person who invented the phrase, in "Jacob Density". However, as it is a scientific noun that many people do not know, I should capitalize the first letter of Density too. My paragraph will then show that Jacob Density is not the phrase that readers need to know before reading this paragraph. In this way, readers will not feel confused about their unknown proper noun.

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ignoring the importance of anyone and developing the other too much will lead to the repression in development. In this way, people should not keep on expanding the scale or the height of cities unlimitedly, but making no changes to the cities is also unsuitable. Finding the point to balance the two kinds of densities and maximize innovation is the goal of urbanites.

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ignoring the importance of anyone and developing the other too much will lead to repression in development. In this way, people should not keep on expanding the scale or the height of cities unlimitedly, but making no changes to the cities is also unsuitable. Finding the point to balance the two kinds of densities and maximize innovation is the goal of urbanites.

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In this context, I did not mention "repression" before this sentence. When we write about an idea for the first time, we should not add a "the", which is confusing for the readers. Also, as "repression" is an uncountable noun, I should not add an "a" or an "an" before it. I should just use "repression" here.

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I have lived in a large city as well as a less-dense neighborhood. In China, I lived in one of the largest cities. It was really nice to have various food, clothes, and public transportations near my home, which offered me easy access to everything I needed. The high education quality and sufficient opportunities laid solid foundation for my college studies. However, the pollution was a huge problem, forcing everyone to reduce the time outdoors. With huge workload and high pressure,

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In the original journal, I said "forcing everyone to reduce the time outdoors". However, the "the" here is a vague expression. Instead of just saying "the time", I should say "forcing everyone to reduce their time outdoors". In this way, readers will understand my idea that everyone is forced to reduce the time out doors.

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the communication between people was also limited. Living in less-densed neighborhood, such as my grandparents’ house, is quite a different story. Breathing the fresh air, we planted our own vegetables and fruits, sharing with each other during community activities. Everyone were relatively relaxed and friendly.

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I have lived in a large city as well as a less-dense neighborhood. In China, I lived in one of the largest cities. It was really nice to have various food, clothes, and public transportations near my home, which offered me easy access to everything I needed. The high education quality and sufficient opportunities laid solid foundation for my college studies. However, the pollution was a huge problem, forcing everyone to reduce their time outdoors. With huge workload and high pressure,

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the communication between people was also limited. Living in less-densed neighborhood, such as my grandparents’ house, is quite a different story. Breathing the fresh air, we planted our own vegetables and fruits, sharing with each other during community activities. Everyone was relatively relaxed and friendly.

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In English, even though "everyone" can always express a plural idea, we should use verbs in a single form with it. In the original version, I followed "everyone" with a " were". However, to make the verb match this subject, I should use "was".

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However, the remote location hindered the little village from developing better education and economy, which offered me less choices and opportunities. It was a really good place to slow down and exchange ideas, but it was not as good place for me to develop as a large city. As a result, finding a point to promote the advantage of both environment while getting rid of the downsides is a challenging but meaningful goal.

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However, the remote location hindered the little village from developing better education and economy, which offered me fewer choices and opportunities. It was a really good place to slow down and exchange ideas, but it was not as good place for me to develop as a large city. As a result, finding a point to promote the advantage of both environment while getting rid of the downsides is a challenging but meaningful goal.

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I used "less" to describe plural words of "choices" and "opportunities". However, the adjective should be "fewer" to describe plural nouns. In this way, I will use "fewer choices and opportunities" instead.

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I have witnessed one extreme weather event in China when I was about ten years old. The light was dim even though in the morning, and it began to rain extremely heavily in the afternoon. I would also hear the sound of the strong wind tearing things apart. After the school ended, I stepped out of the classroom with both rain coat and umbrella, but none of them worked in such an extreme weather.

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I have witnessed one extreme weather event in China when I was about ten years old. The light was dim even in the morning, and it began to rain extremely heavily in the afternoon. I would also hear the sound of the strong wind tearing things apart. After the school ended, I stepped out of the classroom with both rain coat and umbrella, but none of them worked in such an extreme weather.

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I should use "even" instead of "even though" here. Light is usually bright during the day but only dim during the night. "Even" emphasizes the surprising ideas that I want to express, but "even though" usually means concession. I want to should my surprised that the light is dim in the morning, but not to create a concessive clause.

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I nearly lost my umbrella in the wind. My school was on a little hill, so the large amount of water formed a waterfall! There were fallen trees, trash, and flooded water everywhere. When I finally arrived at the Lilong toward my home, I found it flooded with deep water. Being in a low level of ground, the Lilong had water submerging

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I nearly lost my umbrella in the wind. My school was on a little hill, so the large amount of water formed a waterfall! There were fallen trees, trash, and flooded water everywhere. When I finally arrived at the Lilong toward my home, I found it flooded with deep water. Being on a low level of ground, the Lilong had water submerging

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Based on the concepts of meaning and grammar, "in" is not suitable to use with "ground", as nothing is "in the ground". I should use "on the ground" instead to make my expression less confusing.

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my body below my neck. I always considered the event as extreme because it really destroyed many constructions and affected the lives of all people in the city. Many people had their homes flooded, and everything outside of buildings were destroyed. Many buildings collapsed and the public transportation was blocked.

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my body below my neck. I always considered the event as extreme because it really destroyed many constructions and affected the lives of all people in the city. Many people had their homes flooded, and everything outside of buildings was destroyed. Many buildings collapsed and the public transportation was blocked.

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In English, even though "everything" usually expresses a plural idea, we should use verbs in a single form with it. In the original version, I followed "everything" with a " were". However, to make the verb match this subject, I should say "everything outside of buildings was destroyed ".

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I don’t want to work 100% remotely because the communication is really important for me even though it is just a job. The life never stops after you find a job and start to receive salaries for that. I would like to let the wheels keep on moving so that my life will stay colorful. With people from different backgrounds, I will be able to rethink about my ideas and get inspiration when we spend a lot of time working together. This kind of connection cannot be replaced by the internet because there are responses and reflections that I will never get

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I don’t want to work 100% remotely because the communication is really important to me even though it is just a job. The life never stops after you find a job and start to receive salaries for that. I would like to let the wheels keep on moving so that my life will stay colorful. With people from different backgrounds, I will be able to rethink about my ideas and get inspiration when we spend a lot of time working together. This kind of connection cannot be replaced by the internet because there are responses and reflections that I will never get

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The preposition word used between "important" and "me" should not be "for". It is a set phrase. I should say "the communication is really important to me" instead.

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when communicating with co-workers online. At the same time, working remotely for a company in an unfamiliar city is not a good idea for me. I know nothing about the lifestyle and challenges in that city, and I have no connection with it. The job will lose a lot of value and fun because of it.

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when communicating with co-workers online. At the same time, working remotely for a company in an unfamiliar city is not a good idea for me. The reason is that I know nothing about the lifestyle and challenges in that city, and I have no connection with it. The job will lose a lot of value and fun because of it.

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In this context, "I know nothing about the lifestyle and challenges in that city, and I have no connection with it" is the reason for "working remotely for a company in an unfamiliar city is not a good idea for me". As a result, I should use the connection "the reason is that" to show this causal relationship.