# data[].attributes.headline
How to Design a School That Prioritizes Kindness and Caring

# data[].attributes.subject
How to Design a School That Prioritizes Kindness and Caring

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
iStock/Kikovic

Countless schools across the nation strive to make character a feature of education. Whether through classes on social-emotional learning, mindfulness exercises or reminders about the virtues of gratitude, thousands of students are exposed to messages that deplore cheating and bullying and celebrate kindness and consideration. In spite of the lecturing, however, 51 percent of high school kids owned up to cheating on exams, according to the Josephson Institute. Another 62 percent believe that teachers value academic achievement over kindness to others.

Carrollwood Day School, a private school in Tampa, Florida, set out an ambitious plan to alter those numbers. That effort began in earnest about a year ago, after a handful of guidance counselors attended a conference on kindness put on by Harvard's Making Caring Common project; they vowed to bring compassion back to their school.

Carrollwood Day had always emphasized character education, but the adult-driven messages, no matter how valid or well-meaning, seemed to be gliding past their intended audience, said Krista Diamond, who attended the event. She and her colleagues began to plan.

It was critical to Diamond that these initiatives not resemble a form of character boot camp, with intense immersion for a few days, and then nothing the rest of the year. "You can't just snap your fingers, and show a video, and it's done," she said. Rather, the school needed to adopt a philosophy of kindness that was "infused and woven through" all school activities. This would take time and flexibility, she said. Also, the initiatives had to seem to come from within, organically, because students would be quick to resist orders from above.

They started by announcing the school's theme for the year: "Carrollwood Day School: Where Caring is Common." To bring in parents and teachers, they invited both groups to read Michele Borba's book , which extols the virtues of empathy, and then welcomed Borba in for workshops.

Realizing that "great ideas don't always fly with the high school population," as she put it, Diamond worked with a small student advisory board to create and implement initiatives. It was a turning point that allowed the school's character lessons to reflect student needs. "Everything we do now is run through the students; they are our vetting process," she said. After a popular and thoughtful senior died in the fall, students decided to commemorate his legacy by taking active steps to be empathetic. They called the kindness initiative "Parker's Promise," after their late classmate. A quote from his college essay-"The fine line between success and adversity can be changed by just a grin or a little eye twinkle"-became their unofficial rallying cry.

The student advisory board, renamed the Making Character Count Committee, got to work. Once a week, these students gather outside before the opening bell rings and greet everyone coming in with candy, music and a big smile. They hang posters with concrete messages on how to be kind: "Hold the door," or "Smile, it makes a difference." With Diamond's guidance, the students meet with some of the 25 different advisory groups and lead conversations with students on how to build empathy. They also do a "mix-it-up" exercise, borrowed from Borba's book, that moves students around in advisory groups to blend grade levels. And to get teacher buy-in, select students attend occasional faculty meetings to share what excites them about their project and how their classmates are responding.

Carrollwood Day is one of 70 schools around the country who have partnered with Harvard's Making Caring Common project to make compassion an expectation of their students. "It's less a curriculum than attending to little things," said Richard Weissbourd, who heads the university effort. Simple changes can have an outsized effect. Knowing the names of all the students in school, being generous with "hellos," and encouraging teachers to greet every student by name in class, for example, are low-burden but powerful exercises, he added.

Studies in social-emotional learning show that the most successful "kindness strategies" are short and focused, rooted in relationships, carried out repeatedly, and related to actual events in school, said Luba Feigenberg, who directs research for Making Caring Common project. Teachers need resources and support so that they can act as caring role models for their students, she added.

Two of the most fruitful exercises Carrollwood Day embraced, both borrowed from the Harvard project, were " Circle of Concern" and " Relationship Mapping." In the former, all students were asked to think about who they cared for most, those in their inner circle. Then they were challenged to widen that circle, to consider who was outside and might be welcomed in. The goal was to prompt students to think beyond themselves and their narrow group and to begin to care for others.

During the Relationship Mapping exercise, faculty studied the names of all the children in school and sorted them into two groups: students they were concerned about, and those with whom they had relationships. At the end, the exercise uncovered the most vulnerable students: those identified as potentially troubled and lacking a connection with an adult. At the end, these students were paired with a teacher to serve as a mentor. "This was eye-opening for teachers," Diamond said.

After all this, are students at Carrollwood Day any kinder? To be sure, not all kids there come to school beaming, or greet every stranger with a smile. "Some students don't see a purpose to it," said junior Jake Flansberg. But Diamond notices real change. The school spirit society used to whoop it up for sports teams only, but this year distributed chocolate kisses to all students during finals. Over the holidays, an advisory group delivered cards to everyone in school. "We don't have ways of measuring this. "Diamond said, "But we see evidence that it's working."

And some kids agree. Abri Weissman, a senior who heads up the Making Character Count Committee, has seen a ripple effect of kindness spreading through the school, especially during the second semester. Without prompting, friends have told her stories about sweet gestures coming from classmates, none of which originated in her committee. She sees students from different grades opening up to each other, and being friendlier-a result, she believes, of the mix-it-up exercises. The morning music and enthusiastic greetings have had a positive effect, she added. Altogether, "It's like a kindness virus," Weissman said.

How to Design a School That Prioritizes Kindness and Caring

Author

Linda Flanagan

Linda Flanagan is a freelance writer, researcher, and editor. Her work has appeared in The Atlantic, The Wall St. Journal, Newsweek, Running Times, and Mind/Shift, and she blogs regularly for the Huffington Post. Linda writes about education, culture, athletics, youth sports, mental health, politics, college admissions, and other curiosities. She also reviews books and conducts interviews.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How to Design a School That Prioritizes Kindness and Caring

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Countless schools across the nation strive to make character a feature of education. Whether through classes on social-emotional learning, mindfulness exercises or reminders about the virtues of gratitude, thousands of students are exposed to messages that deplore cheating and bullying and celebrate kindness and consideration.

# data[].attributes.body
Does peer pressure have a positive or negative effect on your character?

# data[].attributes.body
explain why character is an important part of education.

# data[].attributes.body
Describe how a school or class can be created to foster caring and kindness.

# data[].attributes.headline
Explain the steps a school can take to become more inclusive and caring towards all students.

# data[].attributes.subject
Explain the steps a school can take to become more inclusive and caring towards all students.

# data[].attributes.headline
Describe the effect kindness has effected your life in both school and home.

# data[].attributes.subject
Describe the effect kindness has effected your life in both school and home.

# data[].attributes.body
Explain the steps you think are needed to create an enviroment that prioritizes kindness and caring.

# data[].attributes.headline
Describe one example of kindness that you can implement in your school.

# data[].attributes.subject
Describe one example of kindness that you can implement in your school.

# data[].attributes.body
Describe the steps you would take to change someone’s negative attitutude about you into a positive one.

# data[].attributes.body
Explain the process to begin a kindness society at Tison Middle School.

# data[].attributes.body
Explain th similarities and differences between adult-driven character initiatives and student-driven initiatives.

# data[].attributes.body
Explain how acts of kindness affect a school body.

# data[].attributes.body
Describe the effect on a school that puts  kindness or character first when dealing with education.

# data[].attributes.body
What effect

# data[].attributes.body
Explain the steps or building goals to achieve the desired environment.

# data[].attributes.body
Describe how showing kindness to others inside and outside of your inner circle can impact a school environment.

# data[].attributes.body
What effects can being kind have on another person?

# data[].attributes.body
How can the incorporation of "Restorative Circles" in classrooms add value to social-emotional success as opposed to those that do not?

# data[].attributes.body
How had the school changed before the kindness challenge and after.

# data[].attributes.headline
Describe an environment that prioritizes kindness and caring. 

# data[].attributes.subject
Describe an environment that prioritizes kindness and caring. 

# data[].attributes.body
Explain the effect that standardized testing, social media, and the internet have on the loss of kindness and empathy.

# data[].attributes.body
Evaluate the Making Caring Common Project Plan and the impact on the students.

# data[].attributes.body
How has participating in Restorative Circles changed your perception of the class. Give examples of your feelings before and after the use of circles.

# data[].attributes.body
Explain what steps you can take to make a new student feel welcome in Tison Middle School to show that we are a caring community.

# data[].attributes.body
Compare how you feel in a welcoming, friendly environment to that of a cold, hostile environment.

# data[].attributes.body
Explain how a classroom may differ based on the level of kindness amongst the students and teachers.

# data[].attributes.body
Compare the students’ attitudes towards kindness before and after the kindness challenge

# data[].attributes.body
Explain the steps necessary to create a caring environment at Tison.

# data[].attributes.headline
How does having a positive support system contribute to your overall health?

# data[].attributes.subject
How does having a positive support system contribute to your overall health?

# data[].attributes.body
Explain what virtues create a good character.

# data[].attributes.body
Explain steps that could be taken to raise school spirt and enhance an individuals character in a positive way.

# data[].attributes.headline
Does the atmosphere of the classroom have a positive or negative effect on successful learning?

# data[].attributes.subject
Does the atmosphere of the classroom have a positive or negative effect on successful learning?

# data[].attributes.body
Explain the difference of the school before the kindness initiative and after.

# data[].attributes.headline
Describe different ways or ideas to help give purpose and buy in for all students to develop kindness and feeling supported.

# data[].attributes.subject
Describe different ways or ideas to help give purpose and buy in for all students to develop kindness and feeling supported.

# data[].attributes.body
Explain in detail the steps a school could take to begin a kindness movement.

# data[].attributes.body
Explain what steps where taken by the students in building empathy.

# data[].attributes.headline
 Will the environment you choose determine your success? 

# data[].attributes.subject
 Will the environment you choose determine your success? 

# data[].attributes.body
Describe how your behavior can change the behavior of another person.

# data[].attributes.body
Explain how we can create a kindness environment at Tison.

# data[].attributes.headline
Explain what steps you think are needed to begin the process.

# data[].attributes.subject
Explain what steps you think are needed to begin the process.

# data[].attributes.headline
At Tison Middle School, discribe an event that you could implement encouragement to five different students.

# data[].attributes.subject
At Tison Middle School, discribe an event that you could implement encouragement to five different students.

# data[].attributes.body
Explain the development of Carrollwood Day School’s kindness plan.

# data[].attributes.body
Compare and contrast the schools social environment before and after the kindness initiative

# data[].attributes.headline
Does peer pressure have to be negative?  Can you have positive peer pressure

# data[].attributes.subject
Does peer pressure have to be negative?  Can you have positive peer pressure

# data[].attributes.headline
Do you believe this initiative had a larger effect on you or the people you personally effected?

# data[].attributes.subject
Do you believe this initiative had a larger effect on you or the people you personally effected?

# data[].attributes.body
Describe the impact building empathy had on students and their lives.

# data[].attributes.headline
Create steps in a chronological order to grow and spread kindness and support in all students.

# data[].attributes.subject
Create steps in a chronological order to grow and spread kindness and support in all students.

# data[].attributes.headline
Does a smile or a handshake change your day/ make your day any better?

# data[].attributes.subject
Does a smile or a handshake change your day/ make your day any better?

# data[].attributes.body
Describe how you would begin to start a kindness project at your school.

# data[].attributes.headline
Explain the underlying reason on why kindness should be practiced.

# data[].attributes.subject
Explain the underlying reason on why kindness should be practiced.

# data[].attributes.headline
Describe in steps how you would implement a kindness and caring prompt in your school/classroom.

# data[].attributes.subject
Describe in steps how you would implement a kindness and caring prompt in your school/classroom.

# data[].attributes.body
How would you design a program to teach your friends kindness strategies.

# data[].attributes.body
How does being kind and courteous to others effect the sense of community?

# data[].attributes.body
Explain how "Restorative Circles" creates a school atmosphere focused more on "kindness and caring" rather than solely academic achievement.

# data[].attributes.body
What could you do at lunch time to make someone feel welcome to sit with you? How does it feel to be included in a group at lunch
lee

# data[].attributes.body
How can restorative circles create the desired environment at Tison that is open to kindness and caring.

# data[].attributes.body
How is your school different after the implementation of the philosophy of kindness.

# data[].attributes.headline
Compare and contrast a specific method to demonstrate kindness throughout a day.

# data[].attributes.subject
Compare and contrast a specific method to demonstrate kindness throughout a day.

# data[].attributes.headline
What relationship is more important to you, relationship with family members or relationship with your friends? Why?

# data[].attributes.subject
What relationship is more important to you, relationship with family members or relationship with your friends? Why?

# data[].attributes.body
How is teacher data accountability compared to teacher character?