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never mistake kindness for weakness. never let your own pain pass on to others, spread love when you are in pain. put an end to the cycle

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This work is based off of one i made last year around the time the virus was starting to affect our lives. I painted it in oils originally, and was just practicing with them with no real intention for a full piece to come out of it, but in mindlessly creating i think i made a piece that was reflective on the state of mind of myself and many during the time of creation. i loved the idea and colors but was not happy with the actual work itself. It lacked depth and no references were used in the original, so i decided to make it again now 8 or so months later. i love how much the drawing doesn't make sense, there really is no order or symmetry in it, which i think helps tie into the mindset i was in during such a chaotic time. it was a time when no one had certainty or knew what was going on. This time around i wanted to one, have more dimension. two, actually be anatomically correct. 3, be more polished. i used a number of mediums to create it, this time using mostly colored pencil. it was a fairly large piece of paper so i really had to dig in with the pencils to get a richer color resembling the oil paint i used last semester. I also used chalk to give it that misty dreamlike background to soften up some of the pencil marks, then some water color/ acrylic, and lastly markers to define the hair a little more. Overall, im really happy with the outcome, the only thing i have a problem with is the size of the womans chin on the right is a bit large, i think if i darken the lower half of it, it might fix it a little.

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Sometimes making the decision to get better is a difficult one. Its like once you finally build a wall around emotions you are able to let the seeds grow again. It might seem like a long journey ahead, but the path can be as long as you want it to be. Finding self acceptance and letting go of the addition of hatred is liberating. When someone scowls at you, smile back. Sometimes finding old or ancient philosophies can be a helpful thing to read, achieving Stoicism is a belief of self relief. Sometimes learning to not care is the most important thing when you have anxiety. In doing this you might feel exposed or vulnerable, but it is the strongest shield of them all. Made with oil paint, when dry will add pencil and fine detail into upper leaves and ground. I think this is my favorite full body painting I've done. I wanted her herself to be realistic, harsh in the shading, was originally for practiced but built this surrounding later. i love the figures in the cysteine chapel which is where the coloring and detail came into play, but I found most of them had a lot of movement which wouldn't fit with this painting.

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so stale

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practicing with poses for my final major work, thought i needed more experience with the human figure before using the big canvas. Been doing these every night and working on literal projects during the day

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wanted to practice with different fabrics, moving fabric, not the best but for the sake of practice was good to try out. I used to use colored pencil a lot until i switched to paint it is nice to go back to an old medium. i wanted to dress to be silky but the weak point is the look at the bottom of the dress, maybe could be longer and not cut off.

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pencil work/ figure. I didn't have enough room for rest of figure and the legs got cut off. made the head tooo large when started.

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the First page in my altered book, I took the hand out of the book previous before I started the alterations. The swan and the girl are both simple doodles I scraped up from other sketch book and put in to make a full picture. select words are highlighted in the bottom right, "great war and the power of dreams" i dont know what it means, i want to work on creating a scene or picture based off of that.

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one of first oil paintings, made for practice purposes, and an attempt a a realistic still life

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To be outside

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Sun flower made for a card. I always paint sunflowers for family, somethings I've always done since I was a child. The coloring is too dark, texture on leaves I think are pretty decent.

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\exacto knife used to carve into the pages, making the moon. farthest layer down black paper is used to make the shape stand out more. the woman on the right was originally going to be a mask but i decided to just make it a real face. you can fold the page open to reveal the other blurry half of her face. it is something a little more dark for October. Black and darker colors were used for the right side of the face intentionally. Gold was used to just add a more rustic and old feeling to the drawings and the moon.

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face is blurry meaning feeling out of mind, losing sense of self. this is on the darker side of her face intentionally. things are fuzzy and time goes by fast when your home all day.

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Face I drew from a reference and pasted into my altered book

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"deserted road and city" is not colored over. 2 drawings i made while doing work, put them in for decoration.

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just practicing with acrylic, wanted to use high contrast images to play with harsh lighting to see reflections and shadows. used two colors

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i really struggle with acrylic so i made a few small figures to just practice with form and just use two/ three colors.