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Rewrite the following sentence to 'show' the reader what is going on in the story rather than 'tell' them.

Sophia was getting excited.

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Sophia couldn't wait another second. "This only happens once and year," Sophia thought to herself. "Don't mess this up." Nicholas S.

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Sophia was jumping up and down. Her heart was racing.

Nicholas S.

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Sophia was having tears of joy. Her heart felt as though it was lifted up.

Nicholas S.

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"Happy Birthday!" yelled her mother Justin 

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"Happy Birthday!" yelled her mother Justin 

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Sophia just heard she was going to Hawaii. Justin 

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Sophia just heard she was going to Hawaii. Justin 

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Sophia screamed "Its my birthday" she screamed as she ran down the stairs

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Sophia was jumping up and down she raced down the stairs and screamed! '' Its my birthday''

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Sophia was jumping up and down she raced down the stairs and screamed! '' Its my birthday''

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Jay

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Sophia woke up around 3 a.m and flew down the stairs. She squealed very happily.

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Sophia woke up around 3 a.m and flew down the stairs. She squealed very happily.

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Oscar

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Sophia was so happy that she felt like she was about to burst! She had planned the absolute best birthday party ever, and it would be so fun!
"I can't wait." she thought to herself.

NICK D

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Sophia quickly got dressed went downstairs and...   Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sophia quickly got dressed went downstairs and...   Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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"Nathan W"

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Sophia was super excited she was on her way to Disneyland

William C.

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Sophia was counting down the seconds till it was time for school to end.
Jamie

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Sophia jumped out of bed. Although it was 2 in the morning they were going to Australia!

Madeline

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Sophia jumped out of bed at 4:00 ran downstairs gobbled up her cereal! and ran like crazy all over the house finshed packing her stuff. When she got to the airport with his mom and dad and on the airplane she was out of breath and sleepy.

Emily

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Sophia raced down the stairs and screamed to her mother " it's my birthday!!!!!!!!!" - Ethan

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Sophia started to jump on her bed feeling warmth in her self. She couldn't wait for the big day!

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Sophia started to jump on her bed feeling warmth in her self. She couldn't wait for the big day!

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Oscar

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Sophia jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs. She twirled and let out a happy scream, trying her best not to wake everyone up.
-Alyssa

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Sophia was sitting at her desk then the teacher walked in and said, "The printer broke so there is no test and you can do anything," Sophia jumped up and down Justin

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Sophia was sitting at her desk then the teacher walked in and said, "The printer broke so there is no test and you can do anything," Sophia jumped up and down Justin

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Sophia was ecstatic! It was her birthday today and she was going on a tropical family vacation.

NICK D

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Sophia was jumping up and down and instantly raced out the door and down the stairs

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Sophia was jumping up and down and instantly raced out the door and down the stairs

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"Nathan W"

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Sophia  jumped out of bed put on her best dress and zoomed down stairs. She could not wait because today was her birthday.   Sarah

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Sophia  jumped out of bed put on her best dress and zoomed down stairs. She could not wait because today was her birthday.   Sarah

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Sophia was starting to jump around
and squeal with joy!

-Sophia C

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Knowing that today was her birthday she ran out of bed,tossed on her clothes and started to jump around!

-Sophia C

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Sophia jumped up and down with excitment

Sophia p

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Sophia jumped out of bed put on her favourite dress ran downstairs and ate her breakfast it was her birthday she had just turned 10!

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Sophia was jumping up and down!
She was shouting and screaming when she heard news that she was going to Australia!

Emily

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Sophia felt her heart thumping at full speed. She couldn't wait for her birthday!
-Nathan L.

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Sophia was jumping up and down

kai

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Sophia's heart was thumping, she was holding back a scream, she was sitting in front of the window squirming with joy. It is her birthday and her friends were coming over!

Arturo

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Sophia was jumping around saying yippee.
Jamie

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Sophia was so excited she jumped downstairs and had  breakfast it was her birthday

William C.

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Sophia squealed with joy, today was  her birthday and she couldn't wait!
Madeline

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Sophia did cartwheels, did backflips all because it is her birthday she barley stopped doing stuff. She ran to school when she got to Ms. Nickerson's class she she shouts to everyone,"It's my birthday!!!!
Nimo

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Sophia jumped up and down. "yes!" she sqealed, "it's the best day in my life!"
by Ryan

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Sophia jumped out of bed it was her big day she will turn 10 !
Sophia cannot sleep this year she  will turn 10 . Sophia wakes up with a smile she smiles from ear to ear then squeals " It's my birthday ! "

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Sophia was jumping up and down and couldn't wait for the birthday party - Ethan

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Sophia was jumping up and down she rushed down stairs and yelled to her mom it's finally my birthday. Justin