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To be resilient in the constantly changing world of education is so important. The many tasks that teachers have to worry about in a day is insane! We should get time to teach our students what they need to know. Teachers can make a difference by pushing forward for change.

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The state of our country is also concerning to me. I feel as though our country is taking huge steps backwards instead of forward. However, I do know that we all have to go through it. There is no other option. Therefore, it is up to us to be resilient. We need to focus on what we can do, not what we can't do. We need to be like the buffaloes and go through the storm, not run away from it. We need to continue to push onward so that we can make a difference in the lives of our students, our families, and ourselves.

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The author of Onward, and so many others, are very concerned about the way society and our world is today.  Yet, there have been injustices and turmoil throughout history, even stories in the Bible tell us this.  Things are always changing, for the good and for the bad.  As the author states, being resilient gives us power.  Taking care of ourselves, being aware of our emotions, realizing what we can control and what we can influence, having empathy (the speaker at our inservice today talked a lot about having empathy for our students!), and maintaining a positive attitude are all things that will help us through these times.
This text was a great wake up call for me. It reminded me that I need to rebuild my resiliency to become a happier and more productive person again. I have fallen into a little slump the past year or so.

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This chapter was eye opening for me. Change is something my anxiety disorder does not allow me to process. Something that stuck out to me was the spheres of influence diagram. There are very few things in life that we can control and so many more that we have no control over. Being able to adjust to change is something that I have always struggled with but I have been trying to work on it. Being a teacher means we have constant change. We make so many minute by minute decisions in a day that all require change to happen. Change is not going anywhere but we need to find ways to cope with it. I liked that the author made change look fun if we roll with it.

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This chapter really hit home for me. I am way too hard on myself which leads me to have a negative attitude about certain things. It's important for our mental health to be able to find the positives in life. I liked the section about trying to find the good in our lives. So often, we focus on the bad or negative situations in our lives. It's just easier to find things that are going wrong. I have tried journaling about the good things that happened that day. This gives me time to reflect and truly think about what went well with my day.

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Within the conclusion chapter of our text Onward I found myself nodding along with the section on cultural and political changes. It is through the cenotes of resiliency that we are able to live through and around these challenges. When I feel that my world is falling apart I always go back to my place that centers me- surrounding myself with people who care about me and want me to succeed- my friends. These past few weeks have shown me the strength and tenacity that it takes to be a woman who’s ‘got it all.’ We need to understand and set boundaries in our personal and professional lives, take time to understand what we’re working towards, as well as striving to ride the waves of change that are intertwined with our chosen vocation.

This book study has been so very relevant this year. I know the perfect timing happens in big and small spaces. None of that could have been highlighted more clearly than during these past eight weeks.

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The opportunity to celebrate and show appreciation occurs everyday for a teacher. I try to celebrate even the small things with my students. It can be something non-school related like saying "happy birthday" or something like getting an A on a test. Something I've done in the past is on the first test of the year, if the class average is over 90%, I bring in donuts. The kids don't expect it and I don't play into it much. Together we go over the test and celebrate the overall achievement of the class. This way, every student feels important and celebrated. As for showing appreciation, my principal is always pushing us to tell students thank you. Such a small gesture can give a huge reward. I try to say thank you to my students multiple times a day. I also tell students and coworkers that I appreciate them.

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I have always taken care of others before worrying about myself. This became even more true when I became a wife and even more so when I became a mom. I am always putting the needs of my husband and daughter (soon to be daughterS) before my own. I understand the importance of taking time for yourself but when is there time? I have noticed a major difference now that I am in a classroom with windows. To be the best person you can be, you have to take care of yourself. Family members and students need me to be the best person I can be for them. I use this as a motivator to take some time for myself. Even if it is something as simple as taking a bath or sitting on the deck on a nice day.

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"Mandating how teachers teach." That is scary. There are things we can constantly worry about day after day. What I have learned is that it is important to have faith. Faith that things will work out. Building resilience will also help. I am excited to continue and apply what I learned from this book and apply it to my personal and work life.

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I too am worried about many things in our society both environmentally and politically.  Yet, God tells us not to abandon our faith when things get difficult but to use it to help us go through day to day activities. God wants us to be resilient just like this book is teaching us. We need to be aware of our emotions and use them to help us in our day to day living.  The author chooses Nazi Germany as her base to what could be worse. I always think back to the resilience of the pioneers who in this same winter weather we have survived winter after winter! They had no running water or food, unless they grew it themselves.  They valued their land and animals much more so than we do as a nation.  How did they do it?  I think we all have that thought of, "at least I don't have to do that!" like the author and I have stated.  It is important to remember the resiliency of those who lived before us and with us.  They are good role models.  We also much have a positive attitude and be good listeners. These attributes can help us grow to be good teachers and role models for our mentees and students.

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"Change is a constant in our universe.  It's the only thing we can count on."  So true.  One thing I have never considered is The Spheres of Influence (Figure 11.1).  I found it eye opening how to use our energy by classifying any complaints we have into complaints we can control, complaints we can influence by how we feel about these matters, and complaints that are outside our control and influence.  In looking back at my original response to my list of current challenges, I now realize most of those complaints I had labeled as big, were in actuality more like medium or small challenges if I think about my influence and change my feelings about these challenges.

I need to keep in mind the 4 principles of dealing with unwanted change:  1) Slow Down!  2) to evaluate and analyze the situation 3) to use your energy when it counts and 4) be open to outcomes.  Also remember that when people are asking me to change, they may be asking me to learn and to grow.  Change IS scary. I have been guilty of resisting change over the past few years but have come to realize that it was necessary to make me a better teacher.  I have learned new things and have grown in being a more effective teacher for my students.

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I found myself nodding in agreement so many times throughout reading this chapter - it is much easier to focus on the negative than see the positive; that focusing on the positive many times is countercultural; that people like to receive appreciation and praise in different ways.  I was very surprised to read that our brains have a negativity bias, but it made perfect sense when the author explained the reason being for the survival of our ancient ancestors.  Another surprise was how quickly our brain registers and stores a negative stimuli into our memory whereas it takes 12 seconds of focus once the brain spots a positive experience before it can be absorbed.
This chapter was about how to focus on the bright spots and to be able to do this one must be able to handle their emotions - feelings of anger, fear, frustration, and sadness. Reading the section of The Dive into Sadness was very difficult for me as next week will be the 6th anniversary of when I too, was with my mother when she died of pancreatic cancer.

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Change is something we live through every day.  I could really relate to the principal's idea to effect change because there were too many students sent to the office for behavior.  When he presented his solution to the staff, I can see how they felt. In our school we were having the same problem, but our principal asked us how we could fix this in our own classrooms.  This led to us talking to each other and sharing our ideas.  It is hard to have a policy that works for each teacher.  We are all so different.
The section about what we can control really hit home for me.  There are definitely problems that are in my control and some that are not.  Many times I have a different philosophy than my administration.  It can get me into trouble, but I have learned to make it my own when I need to.  Yet,  I can run my own classroom the way that works best for me.  I am now a veteran teacher, but I still have a lot of things to learn. I too can be anxious about many things.  I wonder why students don't do their homework or study for tests.  Why do they not care about doing their best?  How can I help them if they won't talk to me?  These questions plague me on many occasions.  I see that I need to have a positive attitude and be flexible.  If I do this I can handle most changes.

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The idea that stood out the most for me in this chapter had to do with focus.  What am I focusing on when something is happening that I feel I have no control over? Is this an emotional response?  I never thought about my responses being controlled by my emotions.  There are days when I want to quit because administration has not responded the way I thought was necessary, parents were not being supportive of myself or their child, or coworkers not doing what they are instructed to do by administration.  I now will be aware that my response will probably be emotional and I will need to move through the reflection responses.  What's the problem to how am I going to fix it.
My faith has taught me to look for the bright spots.  Every student I teach has gifts and talents that I need to be aware of and use to help them learn in my classroom.

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Change - something that most of us do not deal with very well.  I know that I am guilty!  One situation that stands out in my mind is the year I had to move from teaching sixth graders to eighth graders.  I did not have a choice in this matter.  I had to move to eighth grade or lose my job.  As a result, I made the move.  This change required me to work closely with our school's reading specialist.  She was an older woman who lived for her job and set extremely high expectations for those she worked with.  If I am being honest, she actually scared me.  I was definitely concerned that I would never measure up to her standards.  However, even though I resented her interference in my classroom and struggled with how much control she had over what I taught and how I taught it, I grew exponentially that year.  I learned so much from her and I developed a great deal of respect for her.  I truly believe that she helped make me a better teacher.
At the beginning of the year, I was very depressed about having to teach eighth grade and work with the reading specialist.  However, that all changed by the end of the year.  In fact, the same individual who scared me and caused me a great deal of anxiety, wrote me a wonderful letter of recommendation when I left that district.   I never knew that such a change would make me a better teacher and a better person. Sometimes, we just need to embrace the change and go with the flow!

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I enjoyed reading this chapter and I found myself being able to relate to the author frequently.  I also tend to focus on the negative first, whether in myself, my surroundings, or others.  I know that many people do the same.  What I found amazing was the time difference between negative stimuli (a tenth of a second) and positive stimuli (12 seconds).   I didn't realize that there was biological reasoning behind this tendency.  With this new knowledge in mind, I LOVED the Secret Admirers activity that the author implemented in her classroom.  I am going to try this with my students.  I believe that we will all benefit by looking for the good in each other.
I am also committed to looking for and appreciating the other bright spots in my daily life. Maybe it is my husband who helped the girls get ready in the morning so I could sleep in, or the colleague who brought me my favorite drink - Diet Coke, or the neighbor who plowed our driveway so I could pull into the garage after work. Reflecting on the past couple of years, I realize that focusing on the negative has prevented me from seeing all of the great things that are happening in my life. I recognize that I am very blessed and it is time for me to start appreciating all that I have been given.

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Chapter Eleven in Onward discusses the importance of being able to ride the waves of change. This chapter couldn’t have come at a more applicable time in my life. A lot is changing. My husband and I bought our first home together this August. We are expecting a new baby in February. We are facing many new and challenging health related instances through my dad, our grandmother, and my pregnancy.

Understanding the importance of accepting the now is a scary prospect, but one that is needed. The baby’s umbilical cord isn’t properly developed, so we don’t know with certainty anything about the development of the internal organs for another month. My dad is a Disabled American Veteran (DAV) and has been having heart complications that may or may not be genetic. After an unexpected fall yesterday our Grandmother’s brain scans came back showing two cancerous tumors in her brain.

How can I use these life circumstances to build resilience and become more tenacious? The book states “We wouldn’t need resilience if things never changed.” (269) It is in these times that we must realize that change is inevitable and that accepting this fact can not only help our personal lives, but our professional lives as well. “... the rate of change is faster than in many other professions…” (269)

The spheres of influence helped me greatly this past week. Knowing the difference in what we can control, what we can influence, and what is outside of our control gives me clarity and understanding that grounds me. It reminds me of my good friend and co-teacher, Brianna Rider, and her husband praying the serenity prayer together daily. When she first revealed this to me I wondered aloud “I thought that was only for recovering addicts.” after a laugh she helped me see that this prayer works for every season in a person’s life.

In my classroom change happens at a crazy fast rate. My lessons are only 30 min for music twice a week and 45 min for art once a week. With specials teachers’ transferring classes between co-curricular subjects it shaves down to 25 min per class. This means I need to accomplish a lot of content learning, concert practice, and classroom management in a short window of time. That leads to a changeover rate that happens every five min. The key to this is setting expectations.

For example in our music classrooms: The kids know at the start of class we will center with prayer. Then we review what we need to accomplish in our lesson time. Singing experience with dance follows, then musical element training, followed by a game to reinforce the concept, then concert practice, and finally ending with some sort of instrument learning. It is a lot to get through and we don’t always make it to the end.

What helps me is better understanding where the more (I hesitate to say most) important parts of the lesson fall. Our school counselor, Caitlin, has this thing she does with grades 3, 4, & 5 every fall. She classifies “grain sizes” (273) with the kids using pumpkins. The tiny issues are pumpkin seeds, followed by small, medium, large, and big picture pumpkins gradually increasing in size. Walking into her classroom and seeing her board with these manipulatives displayed helps me visualize every fall the importance of teaching these strategies young.

Reading on page 281 “You’re not even a parent. What do you know about raising kids here?” killed me. I had almost this exact thing thrown at me by an upset parent at the first school I worked at in WI. What she didn’t know was that my husband and I (married just a short while) were struggling to conceive. The instance happened over a meeting with me, my principal, and a sweet 7th grade student who shouldn’t have been there. The discussion was centered around why that student didn’t get the lead role, but a huge supporting role, in the spring musical. Understanding that what that mom was saying out of fear of her child being singled out didn’t help in the moment. It is only through time and space from this situation that I’m better able to understand  what she was feeling.

Throughout this chapter I had to stop. Think. Process. And try and see my goal. What was getting my homework done this week going to accomplish in the larger picture? Wouldn’t my time be better spent in some other capacity with all this craziness happening in my personal life? It was in seeing how my dad played with my daughter during my designated homework time that allowed me to continue. My larger goal is to become a better teacher through this course, and hopefully a good mentor some day. Ultimately it would be awesome to have a Master’s degree. All of these goals illicit change on some level. Waves of change that I need to manage riding.

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Chapter seven in our study book, Onward, has us looking for bright spots in education. This could mean within our teaching, our classroom, our relationships with students, co teachers, or administration, or within our community at large.

As I am reading this chapter I am riding with my dad on our way to numerous doctors appointments at the Veterans Affairs hospital in Fargo, ND. Our time together is a bright spot for me, as we have worked on our relationship and found common ground since my daughter was born. In many bleak moments it is important to find the light. At these cardio, ear nose and throat, psychologist and sleep study appointments a lot is unknown- will we find answers, are there more health hurdles in our future, is his pacemaker working properly, how were these adverse health issues caused or affected by his time deployed during Vietnam, Operation Desert Shield, and Operation Iraqi Freedom? The bright spots for this trip were plentiful: seeing him play with my daughter, have meaningful conversations with my husband and father in law, joke about politics with me, and most of all commiserate over watching Monsters Inc five times in the past three days.

A few points resonated with me during the reading of this chapter:statistics, caveman brain theories, joint commiseration, and the relationship between sadness and bright spots.

The statistic on how long it takes our brain to register danger versus a positive moment was astonishing. A tenth of a second compared to twelve whole seconds? How can this be! Maybe it changes depending upon the circumstances, I mean hearing child laughter must certainly register faster than 12 seconds. Or, how about seeing a new baby for the first time? I hope that through personal growth and trial I can train my brain to recognize positive pathways faster than a glare from a fourth grade girl.

When reading about brain theory I immediately jumped to survival evolutionary strategies. When the author began discussing her conversations with herself about saber tooth tigers I had to laugh, as I do the same thing. “This is not my bridge to die on,” has become a personal mantra when I receive a detrimental email. Text is so hard to interpret emotion through, so I strive to be understanding and meet face to face with my admin, teachers, or parents.

Joint commiseration seems to help and harm interpersonal relationships in education. We all need a safe space to ‘vent’ but I get concerned about some of my teacher friends who seem to have a hard time finding any bright spots in their work lives. On this visit back to North Dakota I was able to grab dinner with three of my college girlfriends who are all in education. Two are music teachers, like myself, and one is working with third graders. We discussed what’s working in our professional lives, but the third grade teacher is having trouble with her occupation. At a school I student taught at one teacher would host a monthly “Wine and whine” night. Although old enough, I declined the invitation to attend because I was concerned the teachers negative experiences would color my own perceptions of students and my chosen pursuit.

Seeing the deep dive for this chapter really was a bummer. The author had a lot to say on the subject of sadness and it took her awhile to bring it around to relating to the rest of the chapter. At first read I was like “Man, parent health drama seems to be everywhere in my life right now,” but at second sniff I was able to take away an important message: this too shall pass.

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After I read the title of this chapter I had to giggle to myself. It was as if the book was speaking to me directly. I do not do very well with change. Again, it is an area I am working on, but especially if I am tired and/or crabby, change makes me more crabby. I have learned that communication can work wonders. For example, in my head I will concoct a plan for a Friday night that involves my family. My husband will come home after work and tell me he is going to get together with some buddies that evening. Depending on my mood, I would start to feel sad and a little disappointed that the night wasn't going to go the way I had planned. After further reflection I realized that I never communicated with my husband how I wanted to spend the evening. Once we both realized this we made an effort to communicate our plans for the day/evening right away in the morning. That way we knew what to expect come evening time. This has helped tremendously. It has also helped me to ride the waves of change not only at home but at school too.

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"There's more good going on than what we think." This section resonated with me because I agree. I think we are very hard on ourselves. The coach in the example mentioned how she refrained from pouring out her amazement. Rather, she asked the teacher she observed how she thought the lesson went. What a great idea! That way you can gather the teacher's true feelings about how things went and then you can explain your thoughts on the lesson. A lot of times I tend to always focus on the negative things that go on in a day. I'm trying to appreciate the blessings of each day and reflect on those instead.

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Teaching is a profession where the opportunities to celebrate and appreciate those around us are endless.  We can celebrate (on a small scale) the daily accomplishments and growth of our students.  This is something that I try to do.  However, these accomplishments and growth can sometimes be overshadowed by the students who "don't get it" or didn't do their homework" or "misbehaved during class".  It is definitely a conscious choice to focus on the blessings (positives) in our lives and not the negatives.
In the future, I would like to find time to daily or at least several times a week focus on the blessings in my life and then thank some of the people who make my life easier both at work and at home. I know what it is like to be taken for granted and never appreciated. If I can help prevent that from happening to others, I would like try.

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Personal note.  It was "Girls Only" weekend at the neighbor's cabin last week.  There were the 5 of us that have been together for over 30 years.  Saturday night,  we watched a chick flick like we many times do.  Early the next morning when everyone was still sleeping I started reading this chapter (yes, I brought my homework to the cabin) and it was exactly what the theme of the movie was - celebrating and appreciating oneself!  Needless to say, they all thought I was a little crazy about how excited I was when I shared this coincidence with them at breakfast.
Appreciations do make a person's day and they don't have to be extravagant.  A simple but genuine acknowledgement, a note, or hug makes a big difference.  Don't forget to also take time to appreciate yourself.
Sometimes receiving appreciations may be uncomfortable but realize that, if it is not condescending, it is a gift and a gift should be humbly received - not given back.

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It feels great when someone expresses genuine appreciation. Celebrations are also fun and uplifting. Chapter 12 mentioned how we have the opportunity to express our gratitude at the end of every day. This is something my husband and I are trying to get in the habit of doing. By sharing our blessings with one another we can end the day on a positive note and hopefully push the negative emotions we felt throughout the day aside. Two of my greatest blessings at work are my teaching partners. The three of us are able to collaborate positively and help each other out when needed. We even have nicknames which helps to add laughter into our day.

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I do feel it is important to celebrate success even the little ones.  If you don't celebrate, why have success.  If you recognize success, you take a step toward happiness, love, sticktoitiveness and resilience.  If you have success you can make it through the difficult times. Or you might say difficult times can lead to success.  When I think of my first year of teaching, I think, boy was I a terrible teacher.  But, I learned so many things about being a good teacher and every year got better. One year I learned how to manage my time better. Next, I learned how to be better organized.  Then, I learned tools for differentiation and classroom management.  Not everything I tried was successful, but many were. I celebrated helping a student get his homework done, a co-worker having a lab that the students participated in and loved. I have celebrated completing another year or school, thinking I would miss seeing my students in the summer. The list goes on.  After all of these celebrations, I can now say that I think I am a kind, caring and loving teacher.

I think that appreciation is the key to resilience when it comes to teaching.  All I need, is affirmation that I am helping a student learn.  When I get that short note from a student that says thank you for helping me with my math I am uplifted and I am inspired to start another day in the classroom. When I look out at my class and they all appear to be listening and smiling, I can teach another day with a positive attitude.  Finally, that note from a parent that says thank you for not letting my daughter fall through the cracks and encouraging her to do her best, lets me know that I am making a difference.

For those times as a teacher when I feel defeated, I always have my faith and relationship with God to keep me going. I know that my prayers are heard and God will answer them. My prayers have changed over the years, but so have my students. I hope to lead them to their own faith in God, by being a good role model with a positive attitude and a happy outlook every day.

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Chapter 12 was all about celebrating and appreciating yourself and others. I started reading this chapter, then finished a few days later and having the time in between seemed to let ideas marinate throughout my week. My first connection with this chapter was all about celebrating! I’m all in when it comes to holidays, little parties, to finding something daily to celebrate in my classroom or home. It takes a little sparkle to recognize something someone has done, and when you do it makes a big difference. “We humans love ritual and marking transitions.” (290)

When speaking about the importance of appreciating others and offering gratitude I was immediately reminded of something our schools are striving to do this year- shout outs. The idea behind it is offering words of gratitude on a level of appreciation through email to a coworker. To get people involved there was a carrot added- a little gift would be given to the person whose name was drawn from the pile of gratitude recipients and givers. Is this effective? I’m not sure. It seems easy for some to shout out others, while it seems canned when particular people get involved. Is it genuine? Honestly, it depends again upon the people in the situation. I hope this will show to be helpful, as I’ve found two people to really ‘shout out’ so far, but I worry about the genuity behind the gestures.

At the start of the school year during in-services I was approached by our new president. After a long sitting-fest in which we listened to a speaker who spoke about teaching and the ‘greatest profession’ I was a little sleepy. Molly, our new president, came up to me and offered a really nice and genuine compliment. I didn’t realize it, but immediately started begging off the work that she was praising. She took a moment and said, “Didn’t you listen to what our speaker just said? Take my thank you!” It was something that’s stayed with me during these first weeks of school. How can I accept praise and gratitude graciously? I’ve been trained to fake-humble when I should be able to stand in the light without getting silly or begging off the attention.

When we speak about reaping the benefits of community with gratitude my mind is immediately brought to morning prayer with my St. Charles staff. This morning ritual started at the request of a principal who is no longer with us. What started at both buildings has only thrived at one. Why? Why is it easier for one group of people to gather together to center their day and gain focus on one or two items through prayer? How can we keep this consistently going while keeping it genuine?

Finally, trusting the process resonated with me at the close of this chapter. It’s so important to understand that paths have been laid for a reason. Sometimes it is hard to see why I’m suffering through this path, or where you are truly going, but to see and understand that others are here to help us along is a comfort. Seeing the importance of celebrating those steps- getting through a day, a semester-long course, the first month of school, concert season etc. are all things to be celebrated and lauded!

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The second sentence of the chapter hit home for me.  "When your body is well cared for, you're better able to deal with emotions."  I have found this out the hard way.  There are days where good eating habits go out the window, I lack sleep, and I try to accomplish one million things at once.  I recognize that these are not healthy habits.  After reflecting on those days, those were the days I was crabby, irritable, and tired.  On days where I eat healthy, get a lot of sleep, and accomplish one task at a time, I feel a lot better and am overall in a much better mood.
As I read this chapter I realized that I need to make some changes in how I take care of myself. It says that a period of disillusionment sets in between mid-October and Thanksgiving. I felt this a couple weeks into school...YIKES! However, I attribute part of that feeling to being a working mom for the first time. As I tweak things here and there in terms of getting homework done, planning for school, teaching CCD, and dealing with stress I am feeling more energized about my job.

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I was not looking forward to reading this chapter as I KNOW what I need to do to be healthier and happier but I do not do it.  Our daughter keeps harping at me to get more sleep.  My husband keeps telling me to say 'NO" more often.  Even my cat yells at me to make room on my lap for her to sit down in the evening.
Back in January 2018, our principal presented a Wellness Challenge for about 3 months and I accepted.  For those 3 months, I made sure to get 8 hours of sleep each night because that earned me points for the week.  I made sure to eat only healthy foods, to exercise, and several other self care practices to rack up those precious points.  When I was getting enough sleep, I was able to get up early to exercise, and when I exercised I didn't crave the junk food.  All of these things made me a happier person!  For some reason, since the inservice days for this school year, all that great self care went out the window and I have gone back to my old habits and I am feeling lousy again.  The excuses are:  the start of the new school year is a lot of work.  I have a new teaching partner that I am trying to mentor (although she is not all that demanding of my time, so this is not a good excuse).
I am taking this course online and have discovered it is not easy for me to do it online.  I do not particularly like it because it is too easy for me to put other things first.
The list goes on and on.  (Am I sounding like a martyr??)
I was planning on finishing all this week's assignment tonight, but after reading this chapter's reflection questions, I am going to immediately improve my self-care by going to go to sleep now.

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In this chapter of Onward Aguilar discusses the importance of self-care, balance, and understanding one’s limitations concerning work. She unpacks the idea of Martyrdom in teachers, the needs behind perfectionism, and the importance of stress management and goal setting.

I found much of this chapter to be interesting when thinking of the different styles of teachers in our school. I have seen myself in her descriptions of unhealthy management of time and resources, as well as reward-seeking behavior. I feel that I’ve gotten much better at setting limits for myself since I’ve had my daughter, Thea, and hope that this continues as she grows.

It’s important to understand a healthy balance of family and work and self. That last part is the hardest for me. How do I care for myself when I hardly know what that looks or feels like? The last time I exercised… it had to have been for a sport or marching band or something- how do we see the hours in a day for something like this? Well, we make it work. If it is important enough time will be found to do these things.

My favorite part of this chapter was the quote from Gregory Orr: “If we’re not supposed to dance, Why all this music?” I know there are more than one way to skin a cat (a horrible metaphor that I just looked up- apparently it was first used to describe a dog and hanging was involved. No thank you, 1800’s. But I digress… ) If sleep or exercise or finding time to meditate are your desperate need sometimes we have to find a way to give ourselves permission to do so. We need to have the energy to dance.

I’m pregnant. It’s a joy and we’ve wanted this and worked toward this for so long. Understanding that my body needs more attention now is much easier to comprehend then when it's ‘just me.’ This being said, wouldn’t I want the best for my body alone the same as when I’m sharing it? I’ve found it much easier this fall to express my needs to my husband when it comes to sleep- “Dude, I’m so tired” “Then go take a nap.” The best love is the love of others. Just tonight after reading the sleep portion of the book Kyle (the greatest husband in my house) let me konk out from 7-8pm. This is prime bath, book, and bedtime for our daughter. The interesting part- I don’t feel guilty this time. I know what my body needed and he gave me permission. That permission ‘thing’ may recur in our household- me seeking the authorization needed for self-care. This isn’t great- but it is a start.

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As weird as it sounds, I try to incorporate this into my classroom as much as possible. When I taught middle school, it was easy. They were so willing to make everything into a game. Now that I teach high school, I'm finding that some kids are "too cool" to play games with their teacher and classmates. I try to trick my students into studying by playing different games with them. I give them choices as to which game they want to play and create some sort of content based rules out of it. I have found that this helps students better understand concepts and stay engaged longer. It amazes me how willing students are to study if they can win a prize in the end.

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I found this chapter to be very interesting! I have always thought of myself as a conscious learner. It is my goal to learn something new everyday. Some people just say that, but I truly do it. It can be something minor that I hear on the radio on my morning drive or it can be a complex topic that I learn to teach my students. There is always room to learn something new whether it involves work, home life, school, or relationships with others. As long as I am a teacher, I will also be a student. I may not be in formal schooling forever, but I will always be learning. Another concept that stuck out to me was the feeling of shame. I have always lumped shame and guilt into the same category. The book breaks it down as guilt being a wrongdoing that affects someone else whereas shame is feeling inadequate. There are many days that I feel defeated as a teacher, a wife, and as a mom. I like to believe that this is a normal feeling that others have as well. Life is hard and it's important to know that as long as we do our absolute best, we should not feel shame at the end of the day.

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Something that stuck out to me was the use of humor in different situations. I try to run my classroom this way as silly as that sounds. There is a time and a place to joke around with students. The students get a pretty good idea that I am not their average teacher within the first week of being in my class. This is because everything is based on humor in my class. If it isn't they know it is not the time and place for joking but instead, working seriously. This helps take the stress out of some situations and allows students to feel like they are in a fun environment where they are safe. My classroom is always a safe place where joking is fine as long as it is not directed towards anybody in a negative way. There are absolutely no put downs in Mrs. C's room and the kids know this. Science class is as fun as they want to make it but it is a privilege that can be taken if people get hurt. Another concept that stuck out was focusing on breathing. I do this everyday even when I am not at school. Life can be stressful so taking a minute to count your breaths is important. Something I have learned is with each breath in, you think of something you are thankful for that day. Not only does it calm you down, but it also gives you a sense of appreciation for the day you've been given.

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The first part of this chapter talks about Martyrdom.  I sometimes find myself falling into this role.  I feel that if I don't do it, nobody will.  What about the kids?  I have to tell myself that I have a principal who can find someone to do the things i have to say no to.  I have done my duty by telling him and then, like one of my favorite authors, Elizabeth George says, "pray they find someone to do it."   As for taking care of my physical body, I need to concentrate on getting more sleep.  I usually get six hours, but I need to extend that to at least 7 1/2- 8 hours.  I like the idea of adding 30 minutes every day for a week.  Then add 30 minutes more the next week.  I have been working on eating healthier and I have always made sure that I walked 5 days a week.  I wear a fitbit to help keep track of how much I walk each day.
I have never been a perfectionist but I do have high expectations for myself. I expect my students to do their best work and have confidence in what they know. I try to have a positive attitude and follow the golden rule.

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I found this chapter to be very interesting! I have always tried to focus on community building in my classroom. This does not only include my relationship building with students but also with their parents. When it comes to communication with parents, I always try to have a positive interaction before any other interaction is needed. I have found that parents respond so much better if they have already have a positive interaction with their child's teacher. When I see parents in public, I don't want them to run from me. I want parents to be able to talk to me like I am a person, not a robot that lives in the school. I feel the same about students. There are many ways I try to build a positive community in my classroom. The main way I do this is by being myself. We are all humans and we all have bad days. When I have a bad day, I apologize to students that I am off and give them an idea as to why so they are not distracted by my off behavior or particularly snappy responses. Obviously this is not the best way to handle bad days but sometimes it happens. It is important to have students see me as a human so they can trust me to be the same way.

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I struggle to find the sunny side of certain situations in my life. This is something I have always struggled with and continue to try and work on. I find myself being a hypocrite when it comes to telling my students to be positive about their view of themselves, others, their work, etc. After reading this chapter, I found that I definitely need to work harder on being more positive about myself and other aspects of my life.

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Throughout chapter 10 the art of play is explored in our text Onward. I’m a firm believer that everyone learns better when they have a chance to explore the fun side of subjects. When we are excited about what we are teaching, the children will too become excited. I’ve not given much thought to the importance of teacher play in a school setting.

As discussed previously by my co-teachers, last school year we strove to ‘hang out’ as a group once a month. To include a stress-free environment our admin assistant suggested we have a craft at every hang-out. What started strong at the start of the year fizzled out quickly. I wonder what would have happened had we played together in different ways. I think I would suggest later in the year us getting together to play with clay, as we have the awesome opportunity of using our high school kiln and we could make something new and interesting together.

Being so invested in the fine arts reading the second half of this chapter did make my heart glow. I was happy to see all of my research and studies cited as true learning experiences. I love sharing this with my kiddos at school, my daughter at home, my friends and my family members.
Recently my husband and I hosted a Murder Mystery party. I wouldn’t have labeled this ‘play’ before reading this chapter, but my oh my was it ever! Getting friends together to play the game and have a nice dinner was a fun way to hang out and experience something new. Through this way of recharging our batteries I can see how important play truly is- to all ages.

The healing ‘salves’ mentioned on page 264 resonate so deeply with me. I think it is important to find time every week to connect with something you truly love. When I was on maternity leave with my daughter I found that I was burned out. Emotionally and physically I was spending all of my time focused on this amazing and wonderful new little creation. When she was about three weeks old one of my long time girlfriends flew in from Alaska to spend the week of her spring break with us. She took care of me in so many ways just by asking one question: when did you stop humming? I hadn’t realized it but I’d almost completely stopped singing just for myself.

Being a life-long musician I hadn’t seen that when I would put Thea to bed that I’d be silent as the grave to ensure her sleep, but she would wake up all the time! When I went back to making my normal noises around the house, she’d sleep for two hours! It was simply that I took away something she’d experienced in the womb- my constant noise. When that came back into our lives I was rejuvenated, and she slept longer!

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As a teacher, mom, wife, daughter, and friend, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by all of my responsibilities.  As a result, I tend to neglect myself.  However, chapter 6 reminded me of how important taking care of myself is.  I need to find a way to live a balanced life.  I need to make eating healthy, sleeping, and exercise a priority.  I am not doing myself, my students, my colleagues, my husband, my own children, or other family members any favors by running on empty.

I know that all of these things are important, I just need to do it!  I need to take that time for myself.  In order to do that, I need to really focus on saying no.  This is something that I have always struggled with.  I currently teach, take care of my three daughters (help with homework, drive them to activities, feed them, do their laundry, etc.), clean my house, preside over my daughters' elementary school PTO, take classes for my Master's, coach Forensics, help take care of my ailing father-in-law, etc. etc. etc.  In order to do all of this, I sometimes get lost in the shuffle.  Therefore, maybe I need to step down as the PTO president, maybe I need to hire a babysitter to help drive my girls to some of their activities, maybe I need to give my daughters' more responsibility for the chores around the house.  By doing some of these things, I may be able to spend more time on making sure that I am healthy.  Maybe I can begin to value myself again and thus increase my resilience.

I do not believe that I am a martyr.  However, what I just wrote might actually make me sound like one.  I recognize that most adults are in the same boat.  We all need to take time for ourselves.  We all need to learn how to live a more balanced life.  I hope that by making a few small changes I can do that.  Only time will tell!

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I enjoyed this chapter because it reminded me that life isn't all about work, chores, responsibilities, etc.  It is also about finding enjoyment.  As I reflect on the past month, I realize that there has been little to no play in my life.  Between school starting, this class, shuttling my daughters to various activities, and trying to keep with housework, my life has been a nonstop rollercoaster.  There doesn't seem to be time to play.  This seems to apply not only to me, but to my children as well.  As soon as school is done, it is time for homework, chores, sports practices, supper, showers, and then bed.  The only time reserved for play is on the weekends.  I now recognize that the lack of even a little play in our nighttime routine may be the reason that we all seem to be a little grumpy and short tempered.

When I reflect on my teaching, the benefits of play are evident in my classroom.  My students are definitely more engaged and refreshed after a brain break (a form of play). We all get a chance to laugh, move, and interact. It is a nice break from sitting and doing school work.  Therefore, I am committed to adding some play into my family's daily life to see if that makes a difference.  Sometimes, we just need to be reminded about what is missing and remember to find the joy in life!

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Chapter Nine of Onward discusses the importance of the continuing concept of “Being a Learner.” Through this week I’ve been frazzled and frustrated with happenings in my personal life- how extreme weather events on Tuesday have affected our neighborhood, which made reading this chapter difficult. At first I was unable to truly engage with the text, but after re-reading it this morning I’m feeling like I’ve truly gotten something out of it.

I was extremely lucky moving into the MAC system. After a troubling start at another school I was wondering if teaching was really the path I wanted to take. Not because of the kids, subject matter, or performance demands- but because of the community surrounding my teaching: the principal, lack of support, parent demands, and paperwork associated with my position. When I came to MACS I found one teacher who truly did have “unabashed, unwavering belief in me.” A first grade teacher who was on her last year in the profession (I had no clue she was retiring at the culmination of the year.) Her name is Rita Nowak and she pushed me to be a better teacher and a better Catholic. Through understanding that she wanted me to succeed and thrive while encouraging children to do the same I was greatly changed in my delivery style and communication style. No longer did I feel the complete ‘otherness’ in comparison to general classroom teachers, I was finally able to make connections with and bounce ideas off of someone who had years of experience in my system.

The learning gap ideas, as pointed out in Figure 9.2, is another area in this chapter that resounded with me. “Gaps are indicators that we can still learn and grow.” (pg. 233) By understanding the framework, and furthermore how to implement and learn from it, I feel more confident in seeking out areas of my teaching style that need improvement. I am worried, however, that by not having someone observe my classroom I won’t find my true gaps. How can I know what I don’t know?

The Time management tips and strategies located in Figure 9.2 A have helped me see how much of my prep time is mismanaged during the week. Although I’ve gotten much better since my first year of teaching at times I still feel overwhelmed in taking work home. How can I best use my time allocated for planning at school? I particularly need “stop multitasking” written in big block letters all over my classrooms. It feels that by trying my best to get everything done at once that I’ll have that home time dedicated to my family. This isn’t the case. I end up taking longer on one project than another. By dedicating to completing only one thing at a time I will get the most out of the minutes.

Another part in this section that spoke to me was “I just needed to get organized and ask [for help.]” Last year was the first time I’ve had a parent volunteer come to help out cleaning and organizing our student’s art weekly. Michelle Slack, the parent of a first grader, is not only an amazing woman but a wonderful resource of new ideas. Knowing that she’ll be with me at 2:00 every Thursday after a harried day of seven art classes almost back to back is a relief and joy. She’s helped me see that getting items checked off a list is helpful in many ways- emotionally as well as job-wise.

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Perfect timing for me to read Chapter 10.  I was lamenting to my husband and was just about to email my friends saying I would not be able to spend next weekend at the cabin because I have so much school work to do.
We are a group of 5 women that have been together for over 30 years.  Three times a year, one of the girls has a Girls Only retreat at her cabin.  But after reading this chapter on the importance of play and of art, I will go!  So next weekend we will spend a few hours at the local Cranberry Fest. enjoying the various art of the vendors.  Back at the cabin we will spend hours playing board games, talking, and laughing.
I also feel the need to share how play helped my husband  this summer.  He is disabled and has been unable to work for over 20 years.  He has a tough time getting around.  A couple of times when the granddaughters were here, I  caught him lying on the floor, (a very difficult position for him) playing dollhouse with our 2 year old granddaughter.  The two of them engaged in imaginative play was so fun to watch.  He smiled instead of groaned as he struggled to get back up because of the things Claire would have said or would have him say or do.

Years ago, I used to have a monthly Game Afternoon where parent volunteers would come in and help me teach to small groups a variety of board games, card games, domino, and dice games.  Also, many years ago, I did have an art center with a easel so that the students could paint on a large piece of paper.  I had read that imaginative play was still important in first grade. So I thought about having a corner that would change monthly - a vet clinic, a bank, a restaurant, etc. But with our current curriculum,  the easel has been put away and there is no time for games or imaginative play.
I feel that these things, like cooperative (not always competitive) play, are especially important because with today's technology and busy family schedules,  kids do not have much down time, nor do they interact or communicate with one another like they used to years ago.

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I really got some good ideas on how to organize my time and I am going to try them. I hate Sunday nights because I have  many things left to do to get ready for school on Monday.  I am so tired on Fridays and I am also a good procrastinator.  Once I get started, I"m fine and I can get the work done, but when I can say, I'll do it tomorrow, I don't leave myself enough time.  I will try to keep track of what I do every hour on the weekend to see if I can organize that time better.   I love to learn, that's why I took this class. I have been a mentor teacher for years, but the new teachers now think differently than I do. I want to get an idea of how they think and learn.  I don't always understand the way they do  things and I am sure that they may think I am old fashioned in my teaching.  I have read the book "Math Mindset," so I am aware of the importance of growth mindset.  There are many teaching and learning styles and I have tried many of them.  Some of them have worked well and I tend to go to these styles because they are comfortable for me. I teach my students that their brains grow when they struggle and make mistakes.  Correcting their mistakes is when their minds grow.  I tell them that anything is easy if you know how to do it, it's always harder when you don't know how to  problem solve and that's why I am here to guide them.
I also have had experiences, where I almost quit teaching. I felt that I wasn't doing a good job and I couldn't relate to my students. They were unmotivated and didn't care (many of them, not all). I am always encouraged by my husband to continue. The last time this happened I got a letter from a student and a parent that were encouraging. We all need a little pat on the back once in awhile.

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I agree that 20 minutes per day can be a great start to making the day positive. This book talks about meditation which the author states helps her. I tend to choose prayer instead. Our school offers times for teacher and student mindfulness daily. We can go to Mass Tuesday through Friday and there is adoration offered those same days. I have a weekly adoration time and go to Mass whenever I am able. I also have a CD of the Divine Mercy Chaplet that I can play in my car. I say the Rosary at night when my mind gets filled with thoughts that will not let me fall asleep. These are the times I clear my mind and pray. This has been my way of meditation since I was in college. It was this quiet prayer time that led me to become a teacher. It has become my vocation. I can attest to the fact that prayer works and makes each day a good day. If I get too busy and don't take the time to pray, I know why when I reflect on it each night.

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My biggest take-away from this chapter was my time management. I am always lamenting that I never have enough hours in the day to do everything that has to be done. Recently my daughter who just took a class on attention deficit says I "definitely have ADHD!" I of course just disagreed with her, but I after reading this chapter think I do have difficulty with time management! I do get easily distracted when working in my classroom after hours. In the middle of something I am working on, a thought pops in my head that has to be taken care of immediately so I don't forget, but then in the middle of taking care of that, another new thought pops up. So my daughter, may in fact, be correct. I think that keeping a time log will be a real eye opener and help me to see exactly where my precious time is going! The one suggestion about having parent volunteers or our admin assistant help with tasks is that I feel these people are terribly busy with their own lives and I don't want to add more to their plate. So I do things like ripping math pages out of the student workbooks myself. One thing on my List of Things To Do this weekend.

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As I am sitting down and finally reading this chapter during the day on the weekend so I do not fall asleep, I was thinking, "Yeah right.  Find 20 minutes a day to meditate.  I don't have time to just sit and clear my mind."  But as I read on further, I may change my mind.  It might just work.  Especially when I read the part that said neuroscientists have found that our brains can change quite quickly.  And because our brains can change  we can also train our minds to focus on emotions.
After reading A Dive Into Joy,  I thought about a student of mine this year that would bury his head in his arms when he would try to do his workbook in reading. He mumbled he could not read and it was too hard. That he was only good in math. Earlier this week, I helped him form his number 5 correctly. After this brief one-on-one lesson, he seemed to change his attitude. Then yesterday, when we were reading our Scholastic News on Growth Mind Set, we shared times that we were not able to do something but with practice and perseverance, we can do it now. Surprisingly he shared that he was not able to make his 5s right, but now he can. He was so proud. After that we had Buddy Reading time, and he and his partner worked so hard together figuring out the words. He was so eager to try! Talk about a joyful moment for me.

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In Chapter Five of Onward we encounter the author’s practice, understanding, and link to meditation. By being fully present in the here and now she is able to be a better teacher, person, co-worker, and human. She stresses the importance of carving out time for herself every day. By making it a consistent practice she was able to feel changes in herself- being more confident in her reactions, understanding her choices for certain decisions, and seeing how reactions in others could be managed differently.

“Mindfulness allows us to take a timeout from the drama of the moment to view the situation without judgment and, perhaps, even with compassion.” (P. 127) This hit home for me. Coming to something without judgement is very important. Our neighborhood was hit by a tornado on Tuesday night this week. We’ve been struggling to find time to help clean up, continue to operate as normal for our work and home life, as well as manage feelings of hopelessness in this situation. Many of our neighbors are without so much, while we were lucky enough to only have one tree loose branches. By being mindful in this situation I hope to come to understand those around us a little better. It’s hard right now, people driving slowly through our streets gawking with smartphones hanging out windows taking videos and pictures. Hearing stories of looting happening from our neighbor’s field make me angry, hurt, frustrated that I’m at work rather than helping clean up… By taking a short time to be mindful I hope to relieve some of this drama in the moment and see how I can best be helpful.

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While reading this chapter, I frequently had to "Pause & Renew" in order to keep going.  I especially found the beginning of the chapter difficult to get through.  However, after the first several pages, I discovered two strategies that I would like to implement in an effort to improve my professional and personal life.  First, I will be keeping a time log for one week to see how I actually spend my time.  I will be interested to see how much time I actually spend being productive and how much time I waste (specifically while multitasking).  I will then take that information and work on implementing a calendar where I set aside and schedule time for my various activities.  Hopefully, this will help motivate me to be more focused, more productive, and proud of my accomplishments.
The next area that I need to work more on is my growth mindset.  I found that several of the statements in the chapter regarding fixed mindset applied to me.  I have always liked approval.  What others think of me, has always been important.  Additionally, I have always had the mindset that I just wasn't wired to cook or excel in math.  As a result, I easily gave up and to this day, I would consider both of these weaknesses of mine.  However, I need to start believing in myself and accepting that I am working at my current ability but that through hardwork and effort, I may be able to be at my desired ability in both of these areas someday. I need to start realizing the power of "yet". I'm not there "yet", but I will be there someday!

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I think that play is very important in children's lives.  This year I am very grateful that our schedule allows for two recesses along with free time in the classroom.  However, I never realized how play is also important in our lives as well.  As a child I always loved to play with baby dolls and color.  Now I love to color and do puzzles.
There are times where I am utterly gassed, but I know I have a task to complete. If I try to power through, I am not always successful. I won't get a lot done and I will end up feeling more tired. However, if I took the advice of Elena Aguilar and took a play break, I could clear my mind, gain a little more energy, and therefore be more productive and timely. I found this out last night. I was trying to complete a few homework assignments for this class after school. I noticed my mind started to wonder and realized I needed a break. I paused for ten minutes to play with my son and then I got back to work. It helped tremendously! I finished the last couple of things I was hoping to accomplish and then was able to spend the rest of the evening with my family.

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This was a very eye-opening chapter for me.  When I completed the assignment on sociopolitical identity, I didn't think I really had many, if any, biases.  I have always felt as though I treated everyone the same, regardless of race, sex, age, education, religion, ect.  However, this chapter made me recognize that I need to re-evaluate.  I may have unconscious biases that I am not even aware that I have.  I would like to implement some kind of tracking system in my classroom.  Do I favor one group of students over the other (different gender, different race, different learning abilities, etc.)?  I may find myself surprised by the results.

Another aspect of this chapter that I found beneficial was the information on mindfulness and how important it can be in my life.  I personally tend to act before I think.  I don't take the time to accept what is happening and then reflect on how I should handle a situation.  I believe that implementing mindfulness in my life will not only make my school life better, it will make my home life better.

Finally, I believe that recognizing and feeling all of my emotions, including joy, will lead to a happier existence. It is about living in the moment. The first thing that came to my mind when I read this section is that I don't live in the moment when I am with my own three girls. I am constantly focused on getting the right picture or video to capture the moments of their lives. However, that means that I am missing important things/events that are happening at that same time. I need to put down the camera and experience life with my children!

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Chapter 9 was harder for me to get through, but I found some key takeaways towards the end. My first AH-HA moment was when I read the section on keeping a time log. I am extremely guilty of not doing the most important things when I have the most energy. Usually I have the most energy in the morning and during my planning time. However, a lot of times I will spend those minutes doing mindless tasks such as filing papers, organizing the room, or decorating a bulletin board. Instead what I should be doing is lesson planning or more of the nitty gritty stuff and save the mindless tasks for after school when I am exhausted. Another AH-HA moment I had is that I need to stop multitasking (or at least try). I consider myself a great multi-tasker, but not at school. One minute I'm lesson planning, the next minute I am cleaning out the fish tank. I would be more productive if I finished lesson planning and THEN cleaned out the fish tank.

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I got a lot out of this chapter.  First, mindfulness is something I have been trying to work on this year.  After not teaching for six months due to being on maternity leave and then having summer vacation, I forgot how much work goes into teaching and how exhausting it can be.  I liked the idea of hitting a pause button.  This reminds me of something my volleyball coach said in high school.  She never returned an email from a disgruntled parent the same night it was sent.  She would take the night to take a deep breath and reflect on the situation.  I think this is so important because many times, like the book mentions, if we reply in the heat of the moment we will end up regretting something we've said.
Secondly, our emotions are VERY contagious.  On the days when I am tired and am losing my patience, my students also don't seem to be performing at their best.  Mindfulness comes to play here as well.  I have tried to be more mindful throughout the day and be honest with my students.  If I am feeling tired, sad, frustrated, etc. I let my students know how I am feeling.  It is amazing how well that works for me.  Even though I might be tired or losing patience, my students are aware and my emotions don't seem to rub off on them as much.
Finally, I enjoyed the section on joy. Just this morning I experienced a moment of joy. I have a student who has a hard time separating from mom. Usually he rides the bus to school, but today mom dropped him off. In the past, when mom dropped off, this student would cry and cling to mom when she tried to leave. We would then run into issues later in the day with following directions and staying in our own space. However, today he just walked in the classroom and let mom leave! I couldn't believe it! I felt so much joy because to be honest, I was starting to feel deflated. I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to reach this kiddo. As he becomes more accustomed to school and our routines I am starting to notice a lot of improvements.

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The section that resonated with me the most in chapter 4 was the section that talked about refining your communication skills and learning from body language in order to start building community.  Personally, I am a terrible listener.  My mind is always going a million other places other than being present in the moment.  Other times, when I am listening, I am always quick to offer solutions and advice.  This skill is a work in progress for me.  I appreciated the table that offered different ways of expounding on ways of listening.
Communicating through body language is another area that is a work in progress for me.  Naturally I always like to have my arms crossed in front of me.  Once I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror and I looked mad!  I definitely wasn't feeling that way.  Since that moment I have made sure to tune into my body language.

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Chapter Four of Onward is my wheelhouse. I love making connections and furthering relationships with others. By understanding what I’m really craving- a positive community experience, I can better see how this relates to my teaching partners, students, administration, and parent community.

Recently there was a situation in one of our schools where a teacher was feeling left out. Social gatherings are important to help not only build community, but structure within any group of people. I was unaware of the intense stress this feeling of ‘otherness’ or ‘being left out’ was affecting our one teacher. At first I felt threatened “Why does she feel left out, why is this the fault of me?” In further exploring the relationships between others, myself, and this teacher, it became clearer to me that the urge to connect with others was vital. When left with what she perceived as little opportunity to bond, it negatively affected our teaching staff. I have been striving to come to a better understanding of what her truth is, and how we can continue to build the relationships back up. I do have to admit, I’ve been hesitant to dive into the conflict directly. The song “Rock the boat, don’t rock the boat baby, rock the boat.” comes to mind.

Understanding that trust is at the root of every community has brightened my understanding of what works for our schools and why it works. Working in two buildings where our administration has been through 4 principals in as many years the trust that’s needed as a unit is abounding. By being able to rely on one another our teaching team understands the importance of leaning upon one another for help. In this way, I like to realize that when a teacher asks for help in time for testing her students one on one during my art lesson it is her way of letting me know that she trusts that I am able and willing to help. This builds, then, upon my need for extra rehearsal time during concert seasons. I can trust that I’ll have the support of my teachers in wrangling first graders into nativity costumes during our performances. By learning to refine communication, read body language, focus on cultural competence, and address conflict I hope to become a better community member.

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Chapter Three of Onward focuses on telling empowering stories. I was interested in this concept of storytelling as an active weaver of what we do/see/respond to daily. When looking at the difference in Teacher X and Teacher Y I fell into the category of “No one always thinks as negatively as Teacher X,” and “There’s no way that someone can be as understanding as Teacher Y.” Then I heard my mother’s voice. She’s a LMFT and used to say “Always and Never are thinking errors.”

It’s true, someone can be super optimistic and understanding, but it was interesting for me to realize that we are all a mix of Teacher X and Teacher Y. On my best day, sure, I can be calm, cool and collected. Understanding the wiggles in my little ones, seeing that tempers may still be flared from Recess prior to my class, or seeing that sleepy student as missing a good night’s rest-not just being too lazy to pay attention to my crafted lesson. It’s also important to see that on my worst day I still know the importance of constantly striving to help my kiddos thrive. I use that story- the one where I’m a teacher constantly trying to start over and create a better version of myself- to help guide me.

“Your thoughts can also help you avoid negative distress or curtail it when it happens…” So very true! It’s important to realize that we are formed by our thoughts, and that by cultivating positive culture with our self-talk we can further impress this version of ourselves onto ourselves. This is very important for those who work in stressful situations. I’d challenge anyone to wrangle rousty kindergarten students on a full moon and see how stressful life can be in a small classroom. In changing the way I execute lessons according to student reactions, I can better understand and relate to the stories my children tell me with their body language, engagement, and social cues.

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If your life was a story, how would it read?  This is something I had not really thought about until this chapter.  After a little reflection, I realized that there were some pieces I wanted to change.  One of those pieces was my outlook on life.  I struggle with focusing on the positives, especially if I am around a negative person/group.  However, thanks to my husband leading by example, I have made a lot of progress in how I view negative situations.  I still have a long way to go, but I continue to make the upward climb.

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I believe that the teachers' lounge should be a place where we socialize with each other and talk about our families, etc.  It isn't always like this, but it should be.  It is so hard with our busy schedules to make time to get together with our co-workers but our school provides opportunities for us to meet. I do try to get to know my students and their families by going to school activities and student games, etc.  It gives me the opportunity to see students interacting with each other in a different setting. Our student council is working with two of our teachers to bring community to our middle school and I am very excited to see how it turns out.  They are working to provide opportunities for all three grades to interact with each other.  We also have our care and share groups which are a mixture of students from all three grades with a staff leader.
Communication is very important. I have found that after teaching middle school for over 20 years that we all think differently and are all on different levels emotionally. What i expected of my students even ten years ago is very different that what I expect of them now and it makes me a different teacher. We have immature students who are expected to learn abstract concepts that their brains may not be ready for. We expect them to adhere to expectations in the classroom, yet, they do not have these same expectations at home. I have learned in math that there may be many different ways to solve a problem. If we show them by example how we can interact successfully as a staff, they can follow our lead and work together as students.

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I used to panic when we had our first conferences of the year.  I had up to 100 students some years and to talk to parents about their child was daunting. How was I going to get to know all of my students in four and one half weeks!  We have student led conferences and this takes all of the pressure off of the teacher and gives the student the opportunity to talk about school and being in your class.  We have questions that can be asked and make  suggestions when asked. These questions include, What do you like about school this year? Why do you think you are not doing well in science?  Who do you like to work with in class?  What can you change to help you do better? I always come up with one positive thing to say about each student and then go into what the student can do better.  It is the student's reflection about school and you assist in the discussion between the parent and child. Teachers need to reflect on the questions above, just like their students. What went well? What could I have done better?

I like the idea that if we can identify how our core beliefs affect our teaching we can manage them. As a mentor teacher, if we can help someone recognize a feeling of worthlessness or incompetence, we can help them manage these beliefs.
A  teacher must also be flexible.  This requires growth mindset.  We are not all going to have amazing lessons that turn our students into geniuses.  We may have a lesson go all awry in one section and the next section may go with it and it will turn out amazing.  To be a teacher, you must have fortitude. This is the will to go on even under the worst conditions.  You do this because you care about your students  and they will recognize that in you.
Optimism is important. When teachers want to gossip about students, I suggest that we pray for them instead.  Nobody is perfect and we shouldn't expect our students to be perfect.  We need to help them learn from their mistakes. I tell my students that we have teacher and student expectations and I will remind them what they are if they are not meeting expectations. I also tell them to politely remind me if I do not meet teacher expectations.  I have already been told politely that something I said in class was not positive and I needed to be positive.  I graciously thanked her and was given the opportunity to show them how to properly respond to constructive criticism.
I think being optimistic is part of the Mack Way at our school. I recently met a 20 year old nursing student from Alabama. She responded to my statements with, "yes ma'am." and was very polite. I then recognized that I had not been modeling politeness in my classroom. I now insist that they say, "Please may I ... and thank you."

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I do not feel a strong sense of community, both in my work or personal life.  Last year, starting I believe in September, some faculty and staff in our building tried to come together after school  once a month for a little comradery not related to work.  Each month the group grew smaller and smaller.  I believe it was February when it fizzled completely.   Not sure why.  Life got too busy?
Living where we do, we do not have a lot of cultural diversity.  (My 30 something daughter who lives in St. Paul, MN points this out to me on a regular basis.  She also is in education and has learned about many different cultures that she never experienced growing up in Chippewa Falls.)  The reason I bring this point up is that we cannot use culture as an excuse for our lack of community in our area.
I try to build good relationships with the families of my students by frequent communication, by attending family school events, attend some of their children's sporting events (when they give me a schedule) and visiting with them when I see them at other public places, but I would not really classify this as building community. I never get too close and personal.

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I really try to look for the positive side of everything. I drove my former teaching partner of 24 years crazy with, as she put it, "Always looking on the bright side." But I need to craft some new stories. I do not ever visualize, use affirmations for ME, or set intentions. I plan on staring with intention setting (I need to start with thing at a time - baby steps - or I get overwhelmed and do nothing.)

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As I read this chapter, I reflected on my current school and a school that I taught in almost twenty years ago.  One of the biggest differences between these two schools has been the sense of community.  In my former school, I frequently socialized with my colleagues outside of school, knew their families, and felt as if our relationships would still exist if we didn't work together.  In fact, even though I haven't taught at that school in over fifteen years, I am still in contact with many of these people.  On the other hand, when I think of my current school, I realize that the same sense of community doesn't exist for me.  I do believe that we care about each other.  However, very few of us socialize outside of school, know each other's families, and we probably wouldn't be friends outside of work.  I first realized this when my mother-in-law died.  We were close and her death was very difficult for me and my family.  I have to admit that I was a little put out that not one member of my staff came to her wake or funeral.  They did not know her, but I felt like they could have shown up as support for me.  As a result, I do feel as if I tend to hold back a little and our community is not as strong as it could be. Furthermore, as I read this chapter, I realized that I am doing the same thing to some of the new teachers in my building.  Thus, I am going to start to make more of an effort to get to know these teachers and help us all build a stronger community where our students and staff feel wanted, loved, and appreciated!

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Stories - as a language arts teacher, this is something I am very familiar with.  This chapter reminded me that we are the authors of our own stories.  As the author of my story, I realize that I need to do some revising.  First and foremost, I need to focus on the positive.  I am one of those teachers who immediately assumes that a parent who wants to meet is going to attack me about something or if a colleague is upset, I did something to make them that way.  Why does my mind wander to the negative instead of the positive?    I recognize that my interpretation of a situation produces a negative emotion.  This will continue to occur unless I change how I interpret those situations.  I need to make a conscious effort to look for the positive.  I need to "see the alternative reality" (pg.81) if I want a change.
This chapter also stresses the importance of vocalizing affirmations and intention setting. These are two concepts that I have never given much attention to. However, I am eager to implement them into my daily life. I believe that even adding these two elements to begin with will make a difference in my happiness at work and at home.

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I appreciated the definitions for pity, sympathy, empathy, and compassion.  I did not think there was much difference between empathy and compassion.  I thought that I was more of a compassionate person but maybe I am more empathetic.  I am a great listener and I can put myself in other's shoes but I don't always have the courage to take action.  This may be because I have some work to do on having more self-compassion.
When I was reading page 202 about the tips on ways to incorporate compassion building into meetings, I thought they were really good ideas, (especially the eating chocolate!), but then the tip of talking about emotions, especially my emotions, scared me.
In further reading, I am becoming to understand how important it is for people have compassion for one another.  All would be happier, healthier, and have strong communities.

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I have never really thought about how empathy and compassion are different. I have always lumped them into the same category. After reading this chapter, I learned that they are very different. I struggle with empathy because I often cannot put myself in another persons shoes. What I don't struggle with is being able to relate an experience that I have had to something happening with others. After making this realization, I don't think I struggle with empathy as much as I thought. Instead, I use empathy to guide how I respond by giving advice, telling a story, or using words of affirmation.

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I have always struggled with emotional intelligence. I have many feelings, but empathy isn't always one of them. I struggle to see why certain situations bother others because they wouldn't bother me. Being a middle school teacher for three years, I saw all kinds of emotion and learned how to help students through their emotions. Many times it was by telling stories about something similar that has happened to me and how I dealt with it. After moving into high school, I wasn't sure that this tactic would work. I'm finding that offering high school students advice about how to deal with their flood of emotions seems to sink in more than telling stories. I am open about emotions in my classroom which may or may not be a "good" thing to do. By being open, students feel more safe. My classroom is a safe space where they can share what is bothering them. This is great for when there are bullying issues or even poor treatment of students and staff. It can also backfire because some students take it as a chance to gossip. There is a fine line that students need to be aware of.

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Something that really stuck out to me in Chapter 1 was the section about values. Every teacher, and person in general, has different values. Students need to know that all values are accepted. As an adult, this is something I struggle with. It irks me when I'm told that my values are wrong so I cannot imagine how a child would feel being told that. The world is a diverse place and students need to know that all values matter, not just the ones they have. Another topic that stuck out to me was the concept of vulnerability. I strongly believe that it is okay to show vulnerability to students and colleagues. As humans, we all have things that bother us or feelings that we don't want to share because we are worried about what others may think. I openly share with students when I don't know an answer to something. It shows them that it is okay to not know as long as you're willing to find the answer. My students are better at admitting they don't know something or even asking questions after seeing me "not know" a few things.

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I think the biggest takeaway that I had after reading the introduction was that it's okay to focus on yourself as a teacher first. Without the teacher being at their best, students miss out. In order for students to thrive in the classroom, teachers need to thrive as well. As a scientist, I loved the resilience pie. Who you are is completely based on your genetics but every other aspect of yourself can be chosen and changed. I tell students all the time, "Be the best version of yourself!" I think I need to take my own advice as their teacher.

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My biggest take away came in the last few pages of the chapter.  I agree that we all have to have perspective . Every one of us thinks and acts in different ways and we need to remember this.  When I am frustrated with someone I work with it helps to talk to someone objective about the situation and the people involved.  If we act in loving kindness and try to understand why someone is saying and doing hurtful things, we can react to them in love. My favorite part of the chapter is on page 217. When he says, " I'm just going to do what my faith tells me to do." He also says that it doesn't matter what your faith is, that all religious tradition is a message of love and compassion. Therefore, some days that students clean my whole room so the janitor only has to empty the garbage. We all put up our chairs at the end of the day to make someone else's life easier. This way he can work on things that he runs out of time to do.

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I learned many things about myself and my emotions in this chapter, especially anger.  I liked the analogy of the card game.  I think of the cards as students though and they are the cards I have been dealt.  I have to think of a strategy that will help me decide which cards I am going to put together to get the best learning to occur.
Another reflection I have is how I deal with anger myself.  I usually like to leave the situation and calm down, usually a place where I am alone or a place I can pray.  I can also get frustrated, when students don't follow directions, don't listen or the biggest frustration, when they don't care.  How do I help them care about themselves and their school work.  After the year progresses, I am able to get to know my students better and I am able to discern if they need a time out, but not necessarily if I do!  I have also realized that now that I am older, I have to get a good night's sleep and eat healthy or my emotions can get the better of me or I can get tired or sluggish.  Deep breathing is also helpful at times.

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I never really focused on the true definition of empathy and compassion before reading this chapter.  I would consider myself a compassionate person because I am always trying to fix things if someone comes to me with a problem.  However, I don't think think that is always a good thing. I need to remember that sometimes people are coming to me just to vent, not come up with a solution. In those instances, I need to remember to lend a listening ear and leave the suggestions for a later time.

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Chapter 8: Cultivating Compassion. “The word compassion literally means “suffering with.” I’ve grown to understand that my knack of empathy can be a weakness as well as a strength. Through this chapter I’ve been reinvigorated in understanding compassion as a strength, a way to better understand others, as well as a way to bridge communication gaps/ emotional fissures in professional relationships.

This year we’ve got three new general classroom teachers and one long term sub in a general classroom position. I’ve remembered in great detail the confusion with the various system goals, ‘need to do’s,’ New Teacher Formation classes, religious certification, and Danielson professional growth and development yearly goals, and now, this year, Genius Hour. Because of this I’ve tried hard to reach out and help where I can. Because of this I’ve gotten some gentle ribbing from another specialist “Why are you making all of these extra copies of the Symbolon workbook?” “Why are you volunteering to help them understand the Danielson framework?” “You’ll burn out if you continue to hold hands…” It all comes down to compassion. I hated the feeling of drowning in new information. I didn’t like the messy schedule that didn’t make sense and the feeling that asking questions meant I wasn’t paying attention.

I truly believe that Compassion strengthens communities. However, my biggest fear does come from Compassion Fatigue. I have felt “swamped by the pain we see” as Aguilar points out in this chapter. To me, the important step here is giving that a name, and honoring it as well. When I feel like I’ve got too much on my plate, or if I see a kiddo who needs extra love/care/structure I crave talking to their general classroom teacher. I need that time to make sure that someone else sees or knows what I see so I can take a break. I’ve found this to be helpful to check in with others often. This way I don’t feel like I’m the only one who has eyes on this little life.

I have this book for my daughter, One Love, it is based off of the song by Bob Marley and really resonates with me. I feel that, specifically in our Catholic school context, it is so important to teach togetherness, understanding, and identification of hardships. I hope to use this text in my classes this fall for Art and speak to compassion.

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Understanding Emotions: Chapter 2. I read and reread this chapter. Maybe it was that it felt like I was finally being heard- like someone else was seeing what I do every day in the classroom. Maybe it was the two year old dancing around my home office, I’ll never know. What I felt in the first two years of teaching was displayed in the first paragraph- Emotions are hard, let’s teach around them not through them. By fully understanding that emotions are a series of events that can be interrupted, interpreted, or learned through not around I have become a better educator and communicator.

One of my personal strengths is, I believe, connections built with students. This can be through humor, understanding tough family stuff (I’ve lived it,) or just being as dependable as I can be students are able to feel my want and need to connect with them. This is difficult for some, as they only know teachers to be very ‘other’ or ‘seperate’ from a young age. By understanding how emotions can happen within a classroom (i.e. playground drama coming into the music room/ being hungry and a little afraid that Mom/Dad won’t be home after school to feed you/ being ecstatic because Grandma is coming to pick you up after school) and then using these emotional stones as a bridge to lessons, it has become easier with the more time I’ve had as the position of a teacher.

One thing I was interested in through reading this chapter was my personal viewpoint toward the CORE EMOTIONS. As I looked in the appendix I couldn’t help feeling that most of these emotions are negative. Was this a learned tactic as a response to Fear, Anger, Sadness, Shame, Jealousy, and Disgust? You bet! By understanding that emotions are not good or bad, we can further understand and give a label to how we’re feeling and how it is affecting us and/our students.

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As I read this chapter , I am reminded that our background, life experiences, and personalities all go into who we are as a teacher. When I started teaching, I let my emotions get the better of me and many times I was offended because I had little experience looking at the other person's point of view. It took me many years to make a choice to see the world through another's eyes. My own children played a big part in helping me to do this. Also, I would get so frustrated when lessons were not successful. I remember my first year of teaching and thinking that my lesson had gone well, only to see spit wads all over the floor and about 20 pencils stuck into the ceiling! Then, I would plan something I thought would be fun and they thought is was lame. After all of this, they would not do well on their quizzes or tests and I would feel like a failure. But my saving grace was that I had a great mentor in my corner. She helped me navigate through all the trials and led me to many triumphs. She also heavily suggested that I do activities that were not in my comfort zone so that I could learn what my strengths were. She was amazing and I miss her. Now I have the chance to be that mentor for someone else. I agree with the chapter that we need to know our strengths and how to use them in the classroom. We need to show others how to use their strengths and learn from their mistakes. Furthermore, our school system has important core values and we need to make them our own. If we follow these values, it will help us instill them in our peers and students.

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Two aspects of this chapter really appealed to me.  The first was the topic of self-compassion.  As I read about it, I realized that I don't have a lot of self-compassion for myself.  I am constantly putting myself down (usually in a joking manner with an underlying seriousness), whether it be about the way I look, my athletic ability, my mothering skills, my wifely duties, etc.  I never realized that it is very difficult for me to have compassion for others when I don't have it for myself.  This will be something that I will be working on.       The other aspect of the chapter that I related to was forgiveness.  When I reflect on my teaching and my interactions with my colleagues, I realize that I may not always forgive others.  I may say that I have, but deep down, I haven't.  I feel that sometimes I harbor negative feelings toward others based on previous behavior and then I continue to  let those feelings affect the relationship.  I also recognize that I need to practice self-forgiveness.  If I can't forgive myself for mistakes, errors in judgement, etc., how can I forgive others when they do the same.  I am truly beginning to see what a work in progress I am.

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I found this chapter to be very enlightening. I have always been a very emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Those around me can easily tell if I am having a good day or a bad day. I also tend to let my emotions control my behavior. However, I am beginning to understand that my emotions are a cycle and I can stop the cycle before I let myself get upset, sad, stressed, etc. and then let those emotions affect how I treat my students and my colleagues. I also realize that in the past, I have let my assumptions guide my emotions. For example, when someone else makes a decision affecting me, I let myself believe that he/she is doing it purposely to make me upset or cause havoc in my life. I need to remind myself that I am not "that important". The world does not revolve around me! (Even though this is hard for me to believe!! :)) I need to start recognizing that those around me are making decisions based on the benefits those decisions will have on others. I believe that I have a long way to go with understanding my emotions, what causes them, how I react to them, and how I can control them. I believe that this chapter was a good start.

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I am more introverted than extroverted. Therefore, I tend to keep my emotions to myself. I think that if I do that, the emotion that I am feeling will go away quickly. Well, that never happens. I am trying to be more honest and open about how I am feeling because I have found that it will help me feel better quicker. One thing that Chapter 2 mentions about handling your emotions is to recognize where you are in the cycle, do some deep breathing, and shift your experience. This is something I am trying to really focus on. A lot of times I find myself jumping to conclusions and therefore becoming unnecessarily upset/angry/frustrated/etc. Instead of doing that, I am trying to take a step back and look at things from everyone's perspective. Why get angry, upset, or frustrated when you don't have to?

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I had been enjoying the previous chapters, thinking they were spot on.  This chapter was a bit heavy for me.  I think I know what the author is trying to say, that we need to understand and be able to deal with our emotions, but I personally, would like to avoid it.   Being more introverted, I do not like sharing my emotions with others, especially when they inquire about how I am doing.  Yet I am overly emotional at times - I blubber at tv commercials, listening to songs, and reading books!

I found the Appendix C, The Core Emotions, very helpful with all the words that describe aspects of the eight core emotions.  I will be referring to these lists often.

I did see the movie, Inside Out, with my granddaughter a while ago, but I would like to rewatch it after reading this chapter!

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This chapter was so interesting to read and I understand why the author states that a person must read the first three chapters in order.  In order to deal with the many challenges that occur in every day living, a person needs to really know how they tick / have self-knowledge.  Upon taking t
he Myers-Briggs personality test from 16 Personalities,  it comforted me to know that it is because of my personality type that helped explain why I feel and do the some of the things that I do!  I would be interested in having several other co-workers also take the test.  When reading the part on purposefulness, it got me thinking that I really wouldn't want to be doing anything else (except spending more time with my family and my two granddaughters) but teaching in the primary grades. Like the author mentions, it is so rewarding when former students, now grown up, come up to me and remind me of the things they remembered we did when they were in first or third grade with me!

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Chapter one in Onward took a hard look at the teacher as an individual. By truly knowing who you are and where you come from, your teaching style, relationships to students, and attitudes toward parents or administration can be greatly informed.

I’ve heard this quote recently “God, grant me the confidence of an average American white male.” As far as it may get some awkward chuckles from an audience it is important to see that the dominant culture, and how we treat one another in society, will affect not only our classrooms but also the future of society as a whole. What makes this quote hurt, or ring true, is that different vulnerabilities, aptitudes, affiliations, and social dominance does inform relationships.

It is in understanding ourselves that we are better able to engage in a larger conversation of how we are connecting with students, coworkers, and administration. I was struck by the purposefulness section in particular. Why do we do what we do? Education is an inherently undervalued profession- greatly lauded by some without the back up of a proper paycheck or social standing. Just look at the teacher strikes in the past few years- all to get benefits not only for themselves but paraprofessionals, lower student-teacher ratios, provide funding for student technology/ books etc.

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Finally, we get to have a conversation about the socio-emotional component to learning, AND to teaching.  When I first started teaching, I had a very tough freshman class.  They would leave me in tears, daily.  I was warned not to let anyone see me upset, especially my principal, or I would be let go.  That there was no room for emotion in the classroom because it just got in the way and created problems.
Caring for ourselves, and caring for others, has to be a priority, if we want to grow healthy teachers who stay in the profession.  In Aguilar's Onward, she outlines the argument for the resilience that is needed in teaching.  A few years ago, the term "grit" made a resurgence in education circles.  Kids were lacking perseverance and tenacity in their learning and in their lives.  It was assumed, from my perspective, that teachers were assumed to have this grit as well.  Grit doesn't address the elasticity needed for change though.  Resilience is required because as learners and educators, we need to be flexible, open to change, and able to successfully deal with failure.
I love the organization and premise of this book.  I think it will be extremely helpful to me personally to recognize the traits and habits that I should be cultivating in my professional life.

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In Chapter 1, I was intrigued by the Myers-Briggs personality test.  I took the free one that was listed in the chapter, and I have to say that I was very interested by the outcome.  According to that test I am an adventurer.  Some points were dead on.  I am more introverted than extroverted, I enjoy spending quality time with others, and I am very perceptive.  However, there were some descriptors that I do not think fit me at all.  I probably misunderstood some of the questions in the test.  But anyway, if you haven't taken it I highly recommend it!
Another section from Chapter 1 that resonated with me was the section that talked about finding a place where you might thrive. There have been times where I ask myself if my current role is the role for me. However, even though some days are tougher than others, I don't think I could see myself in any other position other than a kindergarten teacher.

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First, I wish to thank you, Jessica, for allowing me extra time to do my assignment since I got the book late Thursday night.  I had tried reading it Friday night but kept falling asleep.  Boy, what a difference a good night's sleep makes.  I could not put it the book down and am ready to tackle Chapter 1.
As I was reading the introduction, it was as if the author was actually in our school system and knew all of the things that we have been dealing with the past several years, plus some of my own personal thoughts and struggles! I appreciate how she breaks down and explains resilience and what we will be covering in the book.
"Change is a given in life; how you respond is within your control." I am excited to learn how I will be able to improve my responses in order to be a great mentor to my mentee; to make my classroom, and even our school system, the best place to be.

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As I read the introduction to this book, I was happy to see that it is divided into months. I sometimes am overwhelmed by what I have to do at the beginning of each school year. I need time and deadlines to complete my work. I tend to procrastinate until the last minute otherwise. Resilient is a great word to describe a teacher. We are responsible for so much more that teaching students content. We have to be aware of their emotions, physical capabilities as well as, peer pressure and effects of social media. I am ready to learn how I can help others just coming into the teaching profession.

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I cannot wait to dive deeper into this book!  Usually I always skip the intro, but the introduction in Onward has me hooked.  The first paragraph sounded like a snippet out of a lot of my days.  I have heard the term resiliency before, but I never fully understood what it meant. However, after reading the introduction, it makes a lot more sense. One sentence that stuck out to me from the introduction mentioned how in schools, we do not need more professional development on standards or data, rather we need to focus our attention on cultivating resilience. I agree with that statement 100%. I think there is too much focus on data. I understand how it can be important and help us drive our instruction, but in my kindergarten classroom I think it is much more important to build relationships and develop physical, social, emotional, and spiritual support.

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Through the introduction of Onward I was interested to delve straight into the Author's meaning of resilency. I liked the way the intro outlined her thoughts and helped me further understand how the book is organized, why she thought it was worth writing, and her hopes for the future. I was struck by the passage "resilience can substatially and dramatically increase our ability to manage the daily stressors and rebound from inevitable setbacks." This, of course, is one of the main reasons why I found this course of interest to me. I see so many teachers around me- co-workers, friends from college, etc.- who experience intense burn-out after flashing brightly like a firework at the beginning of the school year. I would love to better understand for myself, and to be able to offer my support in "keep[ing] our hearts open to what we see and hear." rather than just falling away. I was extremely shocked and awed by the statistics of 20% of teacher turnover every year, along with the attrition rates (I'll admit I looked up the definition to better understand what she was talking about.) I'm interested to continue this journey into mindful resiliency!

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Wow!  My mind is reeling with information after reading chapter one.  I found this chapter to be very thought provoking and informational.  The section that talked about a person's sense of purpose was especially eye-opening to me.  I get out of bed every morning because I am a mom to three wonderful daughters.  They need me and I love being there for them.  They truly are my world.  However, I realized that I may not know what my professional purpose is yet.  While I love working with students, I don't know if my job would be enough to get me out of bed in the morning if I didn't have a family.  That being said, I recognize that I need to dive deeper into what excites me about working with students and how I can be the most beneficial to them.  I have recently re-entered the world of education after taking a ten year break to raise my daughters, therefore, this is a work in progress.
Another aspect of this chapter that stood out to me was the section that addressed vulnerability.  I started teaching math last year (a subject that is not one of my strengths) and I felt very vulnerable because I wasn't familiar with all of the content.  As a result, I was not very confident in my ability to answer unscripted questions and I mostly taught to the book.  This year, I am a little more confident and I hope to expand my lessons to include more student led situations/examples/discussions.  I am also a little less hesitant to share my vulnerability with my students.  All of us struggle at some point in our lives and it is okay for my students to see that side of me.

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The introduction to Onward by Elena Aguilar, pushed me to reflect on how I react to different situations in my life, especially while at work.  I recognize that there are a lot of events/situations throughout my day that I cannot control.  However, the introduction reminded me that how I respond is completely up to me.  I can choose to get upset or stressed or defeated.  On the other hand, I can choose to remain calm, relaxed, and ready to persevere.  The choice is up to me.
Reading the introduction also reminded me that all of our actions have consequences, whether they are intended or not. Therefore, it is essential for me to keep that in mind when reacting to situations throughout my day.