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i was scared to get out- i was being cautious

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She was nice. ---> She was quite pleasant.

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I changed run to sprinted

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I changed "We walked down the stairs to "We plunged down the stairs."

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I changed, "ran" to "dashed"

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avoiding his bull-like charge

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I changed "smart" to "clever"

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I changed ¨what kept me aware was my uneven hair" to  "What kept my eyes awake was the small trickle of my natural bangs that wouldn't fit in my weave and braided hair no matter how much water I put on my scalp."

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I then took off like a lighting bolt. A light bulb idea hit my brain.

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I had "the bright yellow sun shined brightly against my back" I turned it into "The sun was as yellow as a lemon. It shined so brightly onto my back that it felt like there was a lighter being held up against my back"

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It sat on my dresser and normally I keep it blowing continually, because my room is like a furnace, but right now it was too loud to let me hear anything.

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I looked down, I didn't even feel the pain yet, I looked at my finger and saw my dark red blood trickling down my arm and a knife shining in the light with my blood

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I learned that you story will be better then you have word choice. Such as when i added more information n what the weather was like.

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I had ¨Lesson is to know the good life from the bad people and bad life¨ then I changed it to ¨Lesson is to know the bright clouds from the dark clouds and not to get caught up in a storm and an illusion. ¨

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I had “I sat down feeling weird and felt something dripping down my face.” and changed it to "I sat up feeling unusual and felt a liquid flooding down the entire left side of my face."

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Something I changed was "I tripped a lot but that never resulted in anything serious." → "I had fallen a lot, but that never resulted in anything serious."

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I stomped off to my room with rage with the lines of stinky oder coming off of me like in a cartoon.

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One thing that I changed was ¨he cried¨ to ¨My dad's soft green eyes glistened against the light, and a single tear streamed down his face. ¨

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One of the sections I made better was,
"With his big luminous green eyes, long smokey colored tail, his small gray and black body, and his pointed cone-shaped ears, everything was perfect"

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The part that I changed is "I was crying" to "The tears slipping down my cheeks and the salty taste into my mouth."

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The section that I tired to make better and add description to was, "The cold droplets hit the grounds, turning the dirt into a brown mud, making the mud splash onto my shoes. My vibrant white shoes slowly turned a slight mud color. "

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The section that I made better was the starting sentence. It used to be ¨The car pulled into the parking stop but i changed it to ¨ The brake lights exploded with light illuminating the stopper in front of it, I glanced at my little white palms twitching like a fish out of water.¨

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The section that I made better was: A huge wave of water hit against my eardrum making a loud explosion of noise. It felt as if a hurricane was in my ear. I screamed at the top of my lungs, “STOP, STOP”.