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In life we are forced to be something that we aren't but in nature we are what ever we want to be like in Emersons
OK--change to third-person: "people"

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Thoreau contends that a person's first obligation is to do what they believe to be right and not follow the law dictated by the majority.
Looks fine!

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In life, people have to make a choice between being themselves or being who society want them to be.
*Angelina: This will work.

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make your own choices, don't conform to social norms. Tyler--make sure this is s 3rd-person statement, and allude to the the reading to make it a complete sentence.

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Even though it is easy to always remain the same in society, transcendentalism philosophy urges people to constantly be open to changes. Wenjie--this looks good.

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The past is not what decides our future, but according to society, it is the best way to predict it, which makes consistency an extremely difficult rut to pull out of.
*Piper--my changes are in bold.

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Everyone is given a voice to speak their mind, but society has taught people to be silent or say only what others want to hear; therefore, people must always practice putting their voices to good use.
*Grace-- my changes are in bold.

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People run into many fears throughout an average day, but in a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson he perfectly displays how we feel on a day to day bases.
*Sara: Be more specific about what it is we are feeling; this is too general Maintain 3rd-person point of view for this paragraph.

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Henry David Thoreau talks of the controversial topic of government and he explains his stance about the article in a way that promotes infraction.
*Ian--make your sentence more concise  and direct: Thoreau promotes...

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Most everyone in our world makes their choices off of their past mistakes; people have no other outlook and are afraid to make the same mistakes they already made.
*Corrections are in bold.

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Henry David Thoreau explains the positives of civil disobedience in society
*Be more specific about the "positives" and what effect they have.

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Some people appreciate the structure of society while others disagree, like Henry David Thoreau .
*Changes in bold.

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In today's society, people constantly have to decide whether to be themselves or to change to fit in with society.
*Changes in bold.

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Every day people will make choices that can affect their lives.
*Be a little bit more specific in your connection to transcendentalism.

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Self-reliance is one of the most important traits human beings can obtain because It helps them  determine the course and opulence of their lives.
*Changes in bold.

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Ralph Waldo Emerson describes his transcendental point of view by emphasizing that the pressure of society influences how people make decisions.
*Changes in bold.

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People have the opportunity to make decisions and govern themselves justly as Henry David Thoreau references in his writing "Civil Disobedience".
*Change in bold.

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In everyday life, there are many opportunities during the day to make a choice; one could choose to go with the flow and go against what he believes, or he could stand for what he thinks is right, and not give in to societal pressure.
*Changes in bold.

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If one consistently obeys societal laws without question, there is a danger of losing him or herself.
*I shortened it--it should be okay now. See me if you want to make more changes.

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In the essay "Self-Reliance" by Ralph Waldo Emerson, he Is talking about how the artificial world can cause us to live in the real world
*Changes in bold. See me about wording. I don't want to change the message of what you are trying to say.

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According to Emerson, self-reliance is one of the most important characteristics humans can obtain, and it is crucial that people understand this.
*Changes in bold.

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Everyone has a conscience that they try to follow; but, in certain situations, people  have to make the difficult decision whether to follow their own heart or do what they are told.
*Changes in bold.

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Every day, people must make choices in order to navigate living in society; however, there is a distinct division between those who make choices that follow their own constitution, and those who make choices that go along, unquestioningly, with the status quo.