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personal real life cross - cultral example

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personal real life cross - cultral example

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A Dutch friend invited me to join his party but I refused him because I was too busy with a lot of deadlines. After trying to persuade me again and not work. He just said “ Ok, I get it, let’s do whatever you think it is better.” Then he smiled with me.

The 4 steps of responding appropriately to culturally different people.

1. Neutrally describe

The way my friend smiled when he was refused made me confused. There was a misunderstanding between us here. He was likely joyful and careless while I was so serious about his invitation.

2. Wonder about cultures

If I think about this persons culture, Dutch people are not that seasoning like Asian, in which we often think that when someone tells you he/she is ok, it is not exactly the same meaning, maybe he/she got angry with you.

Besides, it is actually common in a low context culture that is truly direct and flexible.

3. Inquire first, then interpret
I decided to ask him directly my wondering, interestingly my friend was just laughing at me because he did not think too deeply as mine. He said that was exactly what he meant, and he smiled because he wanted me to feel more comfortable, he also understood for me as well. I realized that he was no nice and such a typical Dutch person, unlike me usually make things more complicated.

4. Explore new responses and behavior

I realize that when someone refuse my invitation, I just need to tell them my honest thinking and smile with them, everything will go to a better situation. In a nutshell, there are at least several cultural differences I should learn to look at things from other perspectives to understand and get along well with them. Asking and talking more to others could be the best way to deal with any difference.

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1. Which role did you have in the balloon factory?

I was a worker
2.How did you experience to be in this role (feelings, thoughts, behavior)?
People were really excited and working hard, talked to each other when working. The worker in my factory was get along well and we had a right to switch position wherever as long as we were still blowing the balloons. Therefore I feel joyful too, although got tired. I did not feel any responsibilities for my work and had no idea about the purpose of quantity of those balloons but just worked in line with others.
3. How were you approached by the other group members (feelings, thoughts, behavior)?

They were trying to be extremely friendly and asking me again and again until I gave them the answers about my company. It made me uncomfortable that I couldn’t look them in the eye or even have a normal conversation with them, I was also trying to act different but it was really hard. I realized that pretending that I do not know anything is not that easy as I thought.

Other group members went around, they kept using eye contact and smiling all the time, they were flexible and confident. It seems that they had prepared the questionaires, seeked my company's information before they came in and started to ask.
4. What did you learn from this simulation game?

To take information from other company is really challenging, and be a worker in a harmony working environment is not my favourite.

No matter which role I am, it is much more important if I could know well the purpose and the way to interact to others inside and outside my company. The ways they act, they communicate and behave were much more complicated as I expected.

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1. outcomes from this exercise

Every behavior could have a story behind, that is why I should spend more time to understand my team members. Besides, this exercise give me a chance to try to find out what people around me more instead of just focusing on myself or evaluating things quickly through outside.
Futhermore, I regret that I did not understand my group members well, I just sit in judgment and did not try to know reasons lead to their actions. Interestingly, we are quite similar to each other, and we realized that we all have our own strength and weakness and we discussed to divide team work according to individual's benefit. I feel that my group members are not that bad, lazy  as I used to think, and they are quite good listeners.

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1. two dimensions that we have the biggest similarities
Time and Personal space
Most of us think that it is much easier to talk to each other by standing closer and eye contact more. Some members in my group are Dutch, but the rests are international students, that is why there is cultural differences among us. Therefore, communion is the most significant for us to overcome the difficulties, and we found out that stand or sit nearby, together is the best way.
Business plan, including other group tasks required us to work hard and seriously. Instead of doing the whole things right away, we have divided works to one by one, split group tasks to small ones and taken action step by step, in order to do everything sufficiently and correctly.
2. two dimensions that we have the biggest gap
Orientation and Nature
Some members were neutral, they thought it could be both because they want to get involve to the work action, also get along well with their colleagues as well, while other preferred harmony environment to just focus on achieving goals.
3. Solution and effective strategies we have until now
We will discuss on group chat and on our meetings, we have considered that listening to each other firstly is the solution for these differences effectively. From that we are able to understand each other more and then do group work much better.
Our group often gives more time for someone who has personal problem, in case he/she explains at the right time. We think that it is not just about work together, but about friendship as well.

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1. where I am not in line with my national culture
Communication : communicating in a direct way and mentioning the most important message at the start seem to be better to understand each other , it could be more honest and clear. I prefer to be more direct, relying on what is explicitly stated in my speech, and  prefer to limit communication to smaller, more select groups of people, sharing only that information which is necessary. Besides, I am preferred for learning and problem solving, work out a solution independently rather than in groups.

Time: I would like monochromic time because I think that focusing on just one thing at the same time might have a better result and reduce stressed, most important is punctuality should be considered extremely essential. Futhermore, I like to concentrate on the study at hand and take time commitments very seriously without any interuptions.
In my home country, teacher always gives me two or more tasks at the same time, even requires me to join other clubs at school to be more active. It was extremely stressful and as same as me, most of students thought it was impossible and gave up on clubs' activities. I had to study really hard, no weekend just to handle all the things. However, it was not effective because after exams, I likely forgot everything. I realized that managing time to finish my own works is only important when I am able to concentrate on things one by one.

Orientation :
I used to work as a barista in a coffee shop. Firstly, I felt happy with my job because people there were so nice, they cared about me, talked to each other very often and spent time on getting know others' backgrounds. It would have been still fine with me if my wage had not been cut by 10% because of reducing in revenue. The reasons were the staffs did not feel responsible enough for the shop, did not spend enough time to achieve sales expectation by taking action, even when they had mistakes, they never accepted and tried to save face. Therefore, I quitted and realized that it is much better for me to work for a "doing task" company. When I work, I hope my effort can be deserved by achievement and have clear purpose for taking action, work actively.

Where are you in line with your national culture? Reflect why you are in line?

Personal space:
it could be more friendly and positive if friends stand not too far when talking. Definitely it should not be too close, but the distance that I can easily shake hand with others is better. In somehow, from the moment I have studied abroad, I think that if someone stands far away from me, he or she does not like me at all.

Nature: from my perspective, human should not try to change nature to serve our needs and wants, to protect environment and climate.

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5. Raising children: children should accept their parents’ decisions on their future to be good kids.

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5. Raising children: children should accept their parents’ decisions on their future to be good kids.

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Parental role in the family was to define the law. Discipline and physical punishment were acceptable remedies for disobedience in the Vietnamese tradition.
Boys and girls are not free to do what they want. Girls are under strict supervision.
Take me for example, whenever there were guests in my house, I am paraded in front of them, made to stand in a row and bow. If I and my parents visited other people’s homes, I was expected to be quiet and polite, no matter how bored I got.

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4. Problem solving: some problems will be changed and solved, some will be accepted or adapted to.

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4. Problem solving: some problems will be changed and solved, some will be accepted or adapted to.

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For example, as a tropical country, every year Vietnam suffers a lots natural disasters that destroy many houses, trees, factories, roads, animals and so on. Some regions have decided to grow more and more mangroves to protect villages and land, farms; although it leads to polute water (the water will be more salty and many kinds of fish will be disappeared). While others have accepted the reality and adapted as they think it is better to live in totally natural environment.

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3. Decision making: depends on roles on social and ages – rich people or older people will play more important roles

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3. Decision making: depends on roles on social and ages – rich people or older people will play more important roles

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Since this is a hierarchical culture, for example in most of company in Vietnam, most decisions are made at the top and then given to the employees to implement.  It means that when some questions arise in the office, a boss can discuss this question openly and get opinions from staff. The boss is always expected, however, to make the decision at the final stage. Vietnamese people do not go to immediate supervisor for answers or feedback. First, keeping quiet. Then telling to colleagues or family/relatives to seek feedback. Vietnamese do not show direct feelings to the supervisor and keep distant from supervisors.

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2. Marriage: man over 20 years old, and woman is over 18 years old could get marriage, freely choose their own marriage partners.

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2. Marriage: man over 20 years old, and woman is over 18 years old could get marriage, freely choose their own marriage partners.

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Traditionally, children lived with their parents until marriage, then the couple moved to the house of husband's father.
Vietnamese believed that fate in marriage, as well as wealth and position

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Buddhism was introduced into Vietnam under the Chinese domination, in the second century B.C. Buddhism has lost the status of a state religion but nevertheless remained the dominant religion in Vietnam and a major cultural force. Besides, Vietnamese also can choose free religion, it means that no specific or particular religion.

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Deep under water (values, basic assumptions, beliefs)

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Deep under water (values, basic assumptions, beliefs)

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5. Most of big groups and companies are government monopoly.

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5. Most of big groups and companies are government monopoly.

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All the natural monopoly industries are in the hand of the State, besides absolute monopoly or Enterprise monopoly. For example, petroleum product distribution, insurance, commercial banking, production and distribution of cement, steel, sugar....are actually belonged to Government groups.

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4.  Not Same educational opportunities between man and woman.

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4.  Not Same educational opportunities between man and woman.

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A famous Vietnamese proverb is, "one boy is something; ten girls are nothing". Men have always been highly regarded in Vietnam and it was always better to have a son than a daughter. In some regions, education is not an option for girls and women, they has been supposed to do Household and raise children. Importantly, in the most recent World Bank data for Vietnam, women comprise only 48.4 per cent of the total labour force and lack of education, much less than their counterparts.

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3. Family: divorce is unacceptable, it is considered to be embarrassing for a family; father should be the breadwinner of the family

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3. Family: divorce is unacceptable, it is considered to be embarrassing for a family; father should be the breadwinner of the family

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Vietnamese valued their traditional ideal of male superiority. Since the highest status in Vietnamese families is given to the man (father), he had absolute authority in the household. A wife can be unhappy in her marriage; but rather than accepts divorce, the family encouraged her to sacrifice and to endure the difficulties of the marriage for the sake of her children.

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2.	Communication: eye contact, limitation in touching, normal personal space

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2.	Communication: eye contact, limitation in touching, normal personal space

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Vietnamese tend to be very polite and guarded. People usually smile instead of saying "thank you", a smile is like a silent "thank you".  Futhermore, women do not shake hands with each other or with men. Physical contact between grown-up relatives or friends (both males and females), or between the same or opposite sexes, is not a common sight. Moreover, speaking in a loud tone with excessive gestures is considered rude, especially when done by women.  Vietnamese people often rely on nonverbal communication more than verbal communication in our culture. The Vietnamese believe that verbal communication can cause more harm than good.

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1.	Relationships in harmony – respect the old and support to the young; respect is based on position, status and age

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1.	Relationships in harmony – respect the old and support to the young; respect is based on position, status and age

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Vietnamese culture is concerned more with status (obtained with age and education) than with wealth. Besides,  children are taught, as a display of respect for their elders, to never contradict what someone superior to them says, and to always think before speaking. It is disrespectful to touch another person's head. Only an elder can touch the head of a child. Keeping promise is also a way of respect, breaking a promise can be a serious violation of social expectation. It is very difficult to re-establish a lost confidence.

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Pho is most popular dish of Vietnamese Recipes, since 1920s in Hanoi - the capital. It is also a popular street food likely all over the world. Pho is made from rice flour, and often serve with vegetables like saw tooth herb, rice paddy herb, cilantro, bean sprouts.
Banh my is a popular and famous food as well. Vietnamese people usually eat it as a snack or sometimes as a main meal. It is more delicious if drink soya milk at the same time.
Since 18th century until now, banh my has become much more popular around the world

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5.	Music: red music, love duets – a famous folk music, where by young men and women meet with their counterpart

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5.	Music: red music, love duets – a famous folk music, where by young men and women meet with their counterpart

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From Bac Ninh province, north of Hanoi, the songs are believed to date back to the 13th century, and are performed during the famous spring festivals that took place at the numerous pagodas in the region.

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4.	Arts and crafts: brocade goods,  embroidery

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4.	Arts and crafts: brocade goods,  embroidery

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Vietnamese women embroidered in order to decorate house moreover to show the confidence and to make beautiful for themselves.
Since 1920s, Silk embroidered paintings of Vietnam have come over and developed to the top of embroidered pieces. Additionally, Vietnamese embroideres are very clever in distributing colour on silk to harmonise embroidered pieces without any contrast.

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3.	Official language: Vietnamese, latin alphabet

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3.	Official language: Vietnamese, latin alphabet

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It is called "quốc ngữ" as the nation's official writing system and spoken by more than 96% of Vietnamese people.
The alphabet in use today is a Latin alphabet with additional diacritics for tones and certain letters.
It is very different from English; verbs do not change forms, articles are not used, nouns do not have plural endings, there are no prefixes, no suffixes, no definitives and no distinction among pronouns.

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1.	Clothing: Ao dai – this is a traditional clothes in Vietnam, people usually wear it on holidays such as Tet, start a new study week, even everyday at school, most of festivals.

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1.	Clothing: Ao dai – this is a traditional clothes in Vietnam, people usually wear it on holidays such as Tet, start a new study week, even everyday at school, most of festivals.

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Aodai symbolizes the beauty in the culture of our country. When people think about this kind of dress, they often think about eye – catching Vietnamese women in aodai, it makes them more attractive and stand out.
It’s often made of silk which is a comfortable material, easy to wear. The modern Aodai seen today is tight-fitting, which accentuates and flatters the women’s curves. Therefore, Ao dai s interestingly considered to cover everything, but hide nothing, especially when it is made of thin or see-through fabric.

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visible symbols and behaviour