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Amir truly loves Hassan and Baba. When Amir tells Sohrab the truth that he and Sohrab’s father are half-brothers, Sohrab asks if their father loves them equally. Amir replied, “‘I think he loved us equally but differently’” (322). After his trip to Afghanistan, Amir learns about the secret from Rahim that he and Hassans are actually brothers. Slowly he accepts the fact and understands that his father loves him, but because Amir is the socially legitimate half, his father puts all the guilt on Amir and therefore does not show his love to Amir too much. Amir tries very hard to make his father proud of him, it proves that Amir loves his father, as a result, he wants his father’s attention so badly. In the end, after knowing the truth, Amir forgives his father and accepts that his father loves him. Throughout the book, the importance of kinship has been emphasized many times. In the end of the book, it is the kinship between Amir and Sohrab that bonds them together: “A kinship exist between people who’ve fed from the same breast. Now, as the boy’s pain soaked through my shirt, I saw that a kinship has taken root between us too” (320). The kinship that comes from being fed from the same breast bonds Amir and Hassan together, Amir accepts the brotherhood and takes on the responsibility of taking care of Sohrab, proving that he loves Hassan and is willing to redeem himself.

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Amir confronts Assef and does not escape away from the place. Amir is guilty that Hassan takes all the pain and gets hurt all the time but Amir himself is being timid and never stands up for himself. Now he is standing up for Hassan’s son, Sohrab. Amir redeemed himself by taking the pain in order to get Sohrab out to a safe place: “My body was broken- just how badly i wouldn't find out later- but i felt healed” (289). He finally stops escaping from the past.  In Rahim’s letter, he writes that redemption is “when guilt leads to good”. It is important in today’s society because people all make mistakes, and after realizing the actions are wrong, redeeming yourself by correcting the wrong doing will help make society a better place.

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Amir has changed because of his life experiences in America. He is brave enough to choose his own major in college, that he decides he is going to be a writer, even though his father, his role model, disagrees with the idea. Another example is Amir decides to look for Hassan’s son, even though it  is extremely dangerous, Amir tells Rahim that he is going to find the boy in Kabul: “Then I told him I was going to Kabul” (227). Amir stands for himself because of his will to redeem himself and his love for his half-brother Hassan: “Hassan had loved me once, loved me in a way that no one ever had or ever would again. He was gone now, but a little part of him lived on. It was in Kabul” (227).

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When my parents are proud of me, they never give me awards like money. We might go out and have dinner to celebrate a good news, but no physical prizes. A parent might choose not to reward their child at every proud moment because they don’t want the child to be overconfident or arrogant because they succeeded once in something, also they might not want to reward the motivation of the child, instead they want the child to have intrinsic motivation. I would choose to celebrate my child’s achievements everytime I feel proud because I want to make sure they are confident about themselves.

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Amir watches Hassan get raped but he is scared and does not help Hassan. He is guilty of the fact that he does nothing even though he could have saved Hassan from it. After all, Hasssan is protecting the kite that Amir wants. After the event, Amir believes that Hassan knows that he has seen him being raped but does not give help, but he never gets punished. Amir even intentionally bullies Hassan, trying to get Hassan to hit him back so that he himself can feel less guilty. I still feel guilty when I see a snowman wherever because it reminds me of the time when I was a child, I ruined another child’s snowman secretly and made their day worse. I try to not do anything that hurts others feelings anymore and be nice to everyone in order to redeem myself. Even though a lot of years passed, I still remember the guilt.

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The bystander effect happens when there are multiple people or a crowd not acting at all when a conflict is present. If there are many people who are not taking any actions, one person feels that they are less responsible when they are the only one present in the situation, because since nobody else is doing anything, it is okay that they don’t do anything either. I have heard of people cheating on tests, especially during freshman years, but almost everyone is either the one doing them or seeing them as a normal thing. There is the worry that if one person stands out and points out the people cheating, they cannot provide any evidence at all since there is no surveillance camera. They might falsely accuse someone for something they did not do. And also they will have trouble making friends with other students, because they sell out their peers and now it is hard for others to trust them as a friend.

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If you witnessed an emergency happening right before your eyes, you would certainly take some sort of action to help the person in trouble, right? While we might all like to believe that this is true, psychologists suggest that whether or not you intervene might depend upon the number of other witnesses present.

What Is the Bystander Effect?

The term bystander effect refers to the phenomenon in which the greater the number of people present, the less likely people are to help a person in distress. When an emergency situation occurs, observers are more likely to take action if there are few or no other witnesses. Being part of a large crowd makes it so no single person has to take responsibility for an action (or inaction).

In a series of classic studies, researchers Bibb Latané and John Darley found that the amount of time it takes the participant to take action and seek help varies depending on how many other observers are in the room. In one experiment, subjects were placed in one of three treatment conditions: alone in a room, with two other participants, or with two confederates who pretended to be normal participants.

As the participants sat filling out questionnaires, smoke began to fill the room. When participants were alone, 75% reported the smoke to the experimenters. In contrast, just 38% of participants in a room with two other people reported the smoke. In the final group, the two confederates in the experiment noted the smoke and then ignored it, which resulted in only 10% of the participants reporting the smoke.

Additional experiments by Latané and Rodin (1969) found that 70% of people would help a woman in distress when they were the only witness. But only about 40% offered assistance when other people were also present.

The Kitty Genovese Case

The most frequently cited example of the bystander effect in introductory psychology textbooks is the brutal murder of a young woman named Catherine "Kitty" ​Genovese. On Friday, March 13, 1964, 28-year-old Genovese was returning home from work. As she approached her apartment entrance, she was attacked and stabbed by a man later identified as Winston Moseley.

Despite Genovese's repeated calls for help, none of the dozen or so people in the nearby apartment building who heard her cries called the police to report the incident. The attack first began at 3:20 AM, but it was not until 3:50 AM that someone first contacted police.

An initial article in the New York Times sensationalized the case and reported a number of factual inaccuracies. An article in the September 2007 issue of American Psychologist concluded that the story is largely misrepresented mostly due to the inaccuracies repeatedly published in newspaper articles and psychology textbooks.﻿﻿

While Genovese's case has been subject to numerous misrepresentations and inaccuracies, there have been numerous other cases reported in recent years. The bystander effect can clearly have a powerful impact on social behavior, but why exactly does it happen? Why don't we help when we are part of a crowd?

Explanations for the Bystander Effect

There are two major factors that contribute to the bystander effect. First, the presence of other people creates a diffusion of responsibility. Because there are other observers, individuals do not feel as much pressure to take action. The responsibility to act is thought to be shared among all of those present.

The second reason is the need to behave in correct and socially acceptable ways. When other observers fail to react, individuals often take this as a signal that a response is not needed or not appropriate.

Researchers have found that onlookers are less likely to intervene if the situation is ambiguous. In the case of Kitty Genovese, many of the 38 witnesses reported that they believed that they were witnessing a "lover's quarrel," and did not realize that the young woman was actually being murdered.

A crisis is often chaotic and the situation is not always crystal clear. Onlookers might wonder exactly what is happening. During such moments, people often look to others in the group to determine what is appropriate. When they see that no one else is reacting, it sends a signal that perhaps no action is needed.

Preventing the Bystander Effect

What can you do to overcome the bystander effect? Some psychologists suggest that simply being aware of this tendency is perhaps the greatest way to break the cycle. When faced with a situation that requires action, understand how the bystander effect might be holding you back and consciously take steps to overcome it. However, this does not mean you should place yourself in danger.

But what if you are the person in need of assistance? How can you inspire people to lend a hand? One often recommended tactic is to single out one person from the crowd. Make eye contact and ask that individual specifically for help. By personalizing and individualizing your request, it becomes much harder for people to turn you down.

Additional Reading

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If you witnessed an emergency happening right before your eyes, you would certainly take some sort of action to help the person in trouble, right? While we might all like to believe that this is true, psychologists suggest that whether or not you intervene might depend upon the number of other witnesses present.

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I never had situations where friendship is under test, but I do have friendships that faded out because of lack of connection because I moved a lot. Usually I treat my friends based on how they treat me. If a friend is helpful and friendly, I will always try to help them as best as I can. However, there are conditions when I give up the relationship, for example, if a friend only asks for my help and never offers me anything or is not even grateful, I would stop talking to them.

I have experienced the emotion of jealousy. Physically, jealousy is not a good emotion because I am never happy if I get jealous or am envious of someone. One of the situations when jealousy does not help that I had experienced is after a lottery. I am not usually the lucky person who gets all the prices just by chance, and sometimes I am jealous of others who get the things that I wanted without paying any effort to it. It is usually a negative emotion and makes me feel angry about unfairness or disappointment on things or even myself. I never did anything bad to harm others because I am jealous of them, but the emotions that I feel are definitely hurting myself since I always take a negative view on the system. I agree with the comparison of the jealous emotions and the boomerang, because it always hurts yourself in the end.

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I have never intentionally tried to hurt someone, but there was one time that I did something terrible that I wished I didn't do it. When I was living in China, I went back to my hometown every year during Chinese New Year. It was very rare to see snow in Jiangxi, China, but one year it was snowing heavily. My cousin and I got so excited that we ran out to play in the snow even though it was super cold at that time. We wandered around the neighborhood because we have never seen the houses in snow before, and then in front of one of the houses, I saw a snowman. There was nobody around, and out of nowhere, I had an urge to kick that snowman down. My body acted before I thought about it and suddenly the snowman was ruined by me. I continued to wander around, and I heard the sound of a door opening and following that was a child crying. Nobody witnessed my action that day, but everytime I think about it, I feel guilty. Now I try to think about the consequences of the things that I do, even when it won’t affect me at all, it might be something cruel for others.

For me, redemption means to make up for some loss that you caused for others. For example, if you hurt someone’s feelings by accidentally saying something harsh, you apologize to them. Also redemption does not have to be something done to the person that you have hurt before. Maybe you have made some mistakes of hurting someone before, and now you try to avoid doing the same things for others and even do extra nice things to others to make yourself feel easier.