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Paperback

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Page 4 Paragraph 5
"Here's why I did it: I'm one sick bastard."

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In the summer of 2005, I returned to golf after a much needed layoff of thirty-two years.
Attempting a comeback in my fifties wouldn’t have been so absurd if I’d been a decent player when I was young, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. At my best, I’d shown occasional flashes of competence. At my worst, I’d been a menace to all carbon-based life-forms on the golf course.
On the day I gave up golfing, I stood six-feet even, weighed a stringy 145 pounds and was in relatively sound physical shape. When I returned to the game, I was half an inch taller, twenty-one pounds heavier and nagged by the following age-related ailments:
• elevated cholesterol;
• a bone spur deep in the right rotator cuff;
• an aching right hip;
• a permanently weakened right knee, due to a badly torn medial
meniscus that was scraped and repaired in February 2003 by the
same orthopedic surgeon who’d once worked on a young professional
quarterback named Dan Marino. (The doctor had assured me that
my injury was no worse than Marino’s, then he’d added with a hearty
chuckle, “But you’re also not twenty-two years old.”)
Other factors besides my knee joint and HDL had changed during my long absence. When I’d abandoned golf in 1973, I had been a happily married father of a two-year-old son. When I returned to the sport in 2005, I was a happily remarried father of a five-year-old son, a fourteen-year-old stepson and a thirty-four-year-old son with three kids of his own. In other words, I was a grandpa.
Over those three busy and productive decades, a normal, well-centered person would have mellowed in the loving glow of the family hearth. Not me. I was just as restless, consumed, unreflective, fatalistic and emotionally unequipped to play golf in my fifties as I was in my teens.
What possesses a man to return in midlife to a game at which he’d never excelled in his prime, and which in fact had dealt him mostly failure, angst and exasperation?
Here’s why I did it: I’m one sick bastard.

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https://soundcloud.com/penguin-audio/the-downhill-lie-by-carl

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Page 54 Paragraph 4
"As is true in sportfishing, golf for some men is basically a dick-measuring contest."

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The author:

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Hared Cover

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The book The Downhill Lie by Carl Hiaasen is a confessional story about Carl Hiaasen returning to the fairways after 32 years. Carl’s father got him into the sport of golf, but he then quit in 1973. The memories never faded for him and he realized that he wanted to go back to his youth and golf again. At this time, he is already a father and a grandfather. Throughout the book, he shares hilarious stories from his time back to the fairfields and his childhood memories when he played with his father. Hiaasen also describes how terrible he played in a member-guest tournament, in which he played on his home field.

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Carl Andrew Hiaasen was born on March 12, 1953 in Plantation Florida. He was married twice and had 3 children throughout the 2 marriages. He attended Emory University from 1970-1972 and graduated from the University of Florida in 1774 with a degree for journalism. He started writing when he was six years old when his father bought him a typewriter for Christmas. After college, he worked for the newspaper of Cocoa, Florida, Cocoa Today, for two years and then worked for The Miami Herald.

Hiaasen started off by writing mystery thrillers with his friend, William D. Montalbano, and later then started to go on a individual route by writing his own adult fiction. Hiaasen has published 20 novels for adults and five for young kids since the start of his solo career. He has only written two non-fiction books, one about golf and one about the Disney company. He has had numerous honors for his novels and books, including being on the New York Times best Sellers List, 2010 Ernie Pyle Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and the Newbery Medal.

For more Information:

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Florida or Bust

Carl Hiaasen (b. 1953), an American novelist and journalist, is drawn to life in the state where he was born, raised, and still lives: Florida. Each one of Hiaasen's many novels is set in a different part of the state, aiming to reveal the positive and negative aspects of a state that has changed drastically in the last 60 years. In addition to writing fiction for both adults and young adults, Hiaasen has worked as a journalist and columnist for The Miami Herald, a position that has, in his own estimation, ''pissed off just about everybody in South Florida, including his own bosses.''

Biography

The son of Odel and Patricia Hiaasen, Carl Hiaasen was born in Plantation, Florida, a suburb of Fort Lauderdale. Hiaasen started writing at age six, when his father bought him a typewriter for Christmas. Even then, he wrote about his home state, mostly about softball and kickball games in his neighborhood.

Hiaasen took his love of writing into adulthood. In 1974, he graduated with a degree in journalism from the University of Florida, where he wrote for the student newspaper. After graduation, he began his career as a journalist, working first at Cocoa Today, the newspaper of Cocoa, Florida, for two years, and moving on to The Miami Herald, where he was originally hired as part of the general assignment and investigations team. Since 1985, he has written a weekly column for the Herald.

In the early 1980s, Hiaasen began writing novels. At first, he wrote and published mystery thrillers with his friend William D. Montalbano. After three novels in collaboration with Montalbano, Hiaasen started writing his own adult fiction. Since starting to write solo novels, Hiaasen has published 20 novels for adults and five young adult novels. Of the 20 books, there are two non-fiction books, one about golf and the other about the Disney company. Additionally, he has published three collections of his newspaper columns.

Hiaasen's novels and non-fiction books have been rewarded with numerous honors, including being on the New York Times Best Sellers lists. Other notable achievements include the 2010 Ernie Pyle Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists and the Newbery Medal by the Association for Library Service to Children for Hoot, an award given to ''the most distinguished contribution to American literature for children.''

Primarily, Hiaasen is a satirist, or a writer who pokes fun at elements of society. One of his most common themes is tourism, especially Florida tourism, and the ruinous effects it can have on a place and its people. He also often writes about a changing Florida. As Hiaasen notes, ''I've been writing for 40 years trying to scare people out of this place, and haven't done a very good job of it.'' The newspaper The London Observer once called Hiaasen ''America's finest satirical novelist.''

Outside of writing, Hiaasen has been married twice and has two sons, Quinn and Scott. He married Connie Lyford in 1970, and their marriage lasted for 26 years, until 1996. His second and current wife is Fenia Clizer.

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carl hiaasen: biography & facts | study.com

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Carl Hiaasen: Biography & Facts | Study.com

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Carl Hiaasen (b. 1953), an American novelist and journalist, is drawn to life in the state where he was born, raised, and still lives: Florida. Each one of Hiaasen's many novels is set in a different part of the state, aiming to reveal the positive and negative aspects of a state that has changed drastically in the last 60 years.

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Page 98 Paragraph 2:
"It seemed like a no-brainer. Golf couldn't be that hard to learn, I thought to myself."

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Page 54 Paragraph 5:
"A more cunning tack of deceit, I learned, is to present oneself as a worse golfer than one actually is."

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Page 72 paragraph 2 & 4
"Not Justin Timberlake. Please." "He was in a freakin' boy band, okay? He cannot be such an excellent golfer. It just ain't right."

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Ball Above Feet ← → Uphill Lie

In this video we'll cover the downhill lie in golf.

Similar to a ball below feet lie, the downhill lie is one that most amateur golfers struggle with.

It's easy to hit the ball thin or fat and the down slope de-lofts the club flying the ball lower and often further than normal.

See the video or summary below for tips on how to play the downhill lie on the golf course:

Downhill Lie Video Summary

The downhill lie is probably the most difficult sloping lie for amateur golfers. There's a tendency to hit the ball thin or fat.

Firstly, align your shoulders with the slope. Try to keep your spine angle at right angles with the ground by tilting your spine towards the ball.

Place the ball slightly back of center in your stance and place a bit more body weight on the front foot. This will help you to strike down on the ball, preventing a thin contact.

Really feel as though you are chasing the ball down the slope through impact.

A golf ball on a downhill lie won't fly as high. The slope has the effect of de-lofting the club so a 7-iron will fly more like a 6-iron. Bear this in mind and perhaps take a more lofted club than you normally would for the distance. The ball won't spin as much on the green either.

Other Lessons in this 'Difficult Lie' Series

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Difficult Golf Lies - Downhill Lie | Free Online Golf Tips

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Ball Above Feet ← → Uphill Lie In this video we'll cover the downhill lie in golf. Similar to a ball below feet lie, the downhill lie is one that most amateur golfers struggle with. It's easy to hit the ball thin or fat and the down slope de-lofts the club flying the ball lower and often further than normal.