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When I was a young child reading was extremely hard for me. When I was in kindergarten I had learned that I wasn't the best reader, I actually couldn't read at all. And I believe this was because I didn't know my ABC's very well. I had discovered that I enjoyed many books that my teacher would read to me. I loved seeing all the pictures and going to a place in my head, where no one could go but me. My imagination would sore so high.  After I was introduced to Hooked on Phonics, my reading and writing improved 100%. And which I began to have a deep profound love for the two.  (Click on image to view big)

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This was the actual commercial my grandmother and I would always see when we were watching television. And we both agreed that, it was worth giving a try. Hooked on Phonics helped give me the confidence I needed to read and write. I would practice everyday when I came home from school.

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Hooked on Phonics commercial (Austin you're a reader)

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Once I began reading, it became my obsession. I loved reading books with little girls that looked like me. This book was one of my favorites because the little girl got to spend the day with her mother and go to the library. Around this time my mother was attending VCU in Richmond, Virginia. And I had to live with my grandmother in NY, until my mom got on her feet.
At times when I felt lonely, I would bury myself deep into my books and just IMAGINE!

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A lot of my favorite reads would be books of young black girls in which I could identify with. I really didn't know that this is why I loved the books so much at my age. That I was connected to books by my identity. I could remember being young and always trying to figure out why my skin was so dark, why I wasn't light skin, and looking at my features as imperfections. Hair was a big thing in the black community, you either permed it, or got your hair flat ironed. You always wore it straight. My grandmother was flat ironing my hair at the time, and boy a time it was. I actually hated the process of getting my hair flat ironed. Some way some how, I'd always wind up getting burned. But once my hair was all straight, you really couldn't tell me anything. I thought I was the Sugar, Honey, Ice, Tea. It wasn't until I was older that I began to love the skin (Melanin) complexion that I was in. And embrace my features and imperfections.

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This is what my hair looked like probably a day or so after it was straightened. You never really got too many full days with your hair out and straightened as it would shrivel up from the heat. (Figured I'd add this in as a bonus, don't laugh at me LOL)

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My love of books became even more heightened when I started reading the books from my mothers bookshelves. I was around sixteen when I started to have a love for urban fiction books. At first my mother wouldn't give me permission to read these books (so of course I started sneak reading them). And I realized why, they were very sexually explicit, filled with violence, and lots of adult situations. But one day I believe she found one of her books in my room, and she never really said anything about it from that point on. She told me she found it, and it was like unspoken word from their. Like okay no more hiding it she knows I'm reading these damn books.

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I COULD READ THIS 100 TIMES, MY FAVORITE!

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I COULD READ THIS 100 TIMES, MY FAVORITE!

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These were the books my mother would try and hide, but me being the teen I was, I found them lol. These books were extremely sexual and very intense. I'd actually pretend to always be one of the characters from the books and just imagine, imagine, image.

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In high school we read a large number of books, that I really didn't like. They were very boring, and I couldn't identify. The reads were always long and I found myself skimming, or not reading them at all. Because I was a good writer, I would always write so well that it seemed as though I understood what I was reading.  When half the time, I really just read an analysis of the book. It's very sad to say, but I can't pin point one book I read in high school.  The actual readings are all a blur to me.

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Attending BMCC and York College I had to read a lot of books, articles, and sometimes plays. Some of the stuff caught my interest and some of it didn't. In college it was much different because I got to pick literature classes I was interested in attending, as long as it was a credit that could go towards my degree. College was a very busy time for me juggling work, school, and being a full time mom. My daughter was two years old when I attended BMCC. So even though I still liked reading books, the love for the read was gone. I had no extra free time to be able to read what I wanted. So I usually only read when I had to for school.

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THE READ THAT CHANGED MY OUTLOOK ON LIFE

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THE READ THAT CHANGED MY OUTLOOK ON LIFE

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This memoir is everything, Cupcake Brown changed my life and the way I viewed it. I hope these experiences help me in my teachings to be able to help students self- identify. I feel like reading would have not been as fun for me if I wasn't able to make a connection. I want all my future students to be able to find that joy that reading brings, and I hope that it will have the same profound affect on them as it did for me throughout my years.