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In the world of employment the ability to make good eye contact during conversation whether it
be work or in an interview, is important because it shows you’re friendlier, more confident and also are trustworthy because the average liar struggles to hold eye contact for very long.

When we’re engaging in eye contact with someone, we are giving them our full attention which makes the
conversation more positive because it shows that you’re both interested in the topic. If the person you’re talking to is looking away or to the ground then it often gives the you the idea that that person isn’t enjoying talking and send thoughts of sadness and dislike. It also shows that you have more respect if you maintain eye contact

Too little eye contact means you look like you aren’t engaging in the conversation very much which makes you seem uninterested and unprepared. In a study done in Cornell University, most people preferred a cereal box where the Trix rabbit was looking directly at the consumer proving eye contact is more pleasant. Too much eye contact on the other hand can seem uneasy and as if we are trying to intimidate the other person.

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In this post I want to discuss the importance of eye contact in our non verbal communication.

Did you ever wonder why it's so hard to have a conversation with someone who avoids your eyes? After all, we do the listening with our ears, so why does it matter?

Did you know that people who maintain eye contact usually perceived as more reliable, warm, sociable, honest, confident and active?

A Remarkable set of personality traits concluded from just a single behavior, don't you think?

In this post I mean to try to answer the "why" behind these questions - the importance of eye contact. Let's take a closer look and see what the buzz is all about:

The Center of Attention

Image Source

This of course can be either very good ("she's totally into me!") or very bad ("I think I'm in big trouble now...") but the focus remains the same.

The opposite is also true; you don't need me to tell how bad it feels when someone's gaze is pointed anywhere but your eyes. It immediately sends feelings of insecurity, deceit, annoyance or general disliking from their side.

It's especially true nowadays, when everyone seem to pay more attention to their phones rather than to each other. Don't you hate it when your friends reach out for their phone in every idle moment of conversation? It feels like saying "I think we're done here... so I'll just look into more interesting stuff than you..."

So by avoiding your phone or other distractions in order to maintain eye contact, you send a message of appreciation and respect towards others, and in turn, they like and respect you more.

Think about eye contact as the pipeline that nonverbal communication flows through. Keep it open and flowing and you halfway through in creating good impression.

To Have a Deeper Look....

One of the things that make s eye contact so hard for some people is the fact that maintaining it can feel very revealing ... it feels like someone is staring directly into your mind, and you are - into theirs. There is no room to hide... No place to hide emotions or thoughts.

In reality, people can still fake and lie through the eyes. Trained liars know that most people think a direct stare signals honesty and reliability, so they force themselves to stare squarely into your eyes.

It doesn't make it easy for most of us though, especially when trying to mask emotions of anger, fear or surprise. These emotions can leak quickly through the eyes, so we often avert the gaze to hide our true feelingsronically, it also the signal that often gives away our insecurity to others.

That's why holding eye contact is more than just a physical trick (or, simply staring at one point). It has a lot to do with how secure and confident you feel about yourself. People who are comfortable in creating eye contact usually feel secure and good about themselves (or at least appear to be so) around others- they aren't afraid to show who they are 'inside'.

Monkey See - Monkey Do

The human is a social being, we are made to cooperate and communicate with each other to gain our goals. We care about others and share some bond even with complete strangers.

This is possible thanks to "mirror neurons" in our brain, aka "monkey see - monkey do" neurons. Basically, these cells become active in our brain when we see or hear an action that's happening to someone else. It enables us to feel like we're doing it or feeling it ourselves.

For Example, if you see someone get hit hard in the face, you may also recoil or touch your face as if you were hit. Of course you wouldn't feel the physical impact of the hit, but you might still feel uncomfortable and tense.

These mirror neurons gives us the ability of feeling empathy towards each other and understand how others feel only by the expression of their face or their posture. It's especially visible through the eyes.

It's quite amazing to see that we can relate to and distinguish emotions from one single gaze.

Here's an excellent videos that explain how mirror neurons discovered and work:

Moving On

We talked about the main reasons that make eye contact such a vital part in our communication. One of the things I find fascinating about body language is the way we accept our behavior without thinking about the 'why?' behind it. I hope that now that you know how eye contact works, it will help you understand why others act as they act.

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In this post I want to discuss the importance of eye contact in our non verbal communication. Did you ever wonder why it's so hard to have a conversation with someone who avoids your eyes? After all, we do the listening with our ears, so why does it matter?

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Some website offer a paraphrasing tool that does the paraphrasing it self without you doing it. You can download the app as well. Some may cost while others will be free.

Definition - Paraphrasing is utilizing your own particular words to express another person's thoughts or message. In a reword the idea or message is the same, yet in your own words as opposed to the expression the same thing as the first source. For instance you watch the news and clarify in your own words to your companion whilst keeping the same message or idea the same.

Being able to paraphrase shows that you have a clear understanding of what you were to told or have seen, it also shows any misunderstandings between co-workers or employers. Being able to paraphrase also means you are a good listener and that you are able to put things into you own words rather than copying.

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Paraphrasing Tool | Quickly and Intelligently Reword English Writing

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Paraphrase any sentence, paragraph or article with this free, lightning-fast online tool.

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Nodding is a form of kinesics (body language), it is a form of regulator, whereby it is used to give feedback when unable to do so verbally.

Nodding is a form of bowing, indicating that one is prepared to accept what another person is saying or requesting.

A such, nodding is used by a member of the audience during a presentation to ask the speaker to say more without interrupting them verbally.

Nodding shows the talker that you understand what they are talking about.
This is useful, for example, if an IT consultant was explaining to you how to reboot your computer and you nodded, to show you understood.
However if you were to do this and did not understand, you would have wasted their time and yours. As well as you still not knowing what to do.

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Summarising is using your own words to shorten a piece of text so that it includes only the essential information. Summaries have far fewer words than the original, but they still provide a clear indication of the main points made by the author.

Summarising requires important thinking that is cruicil to successful results. It allows you to  demonstrate that you have understood the content of a given text. Knowing how to summarise allows you to capture the main points of an idea to fit a shorter space using words and phrases.

Why is summarising helpful?- The process of summarising allows you to grasp the original text better and shows the reader that you understand it as well. Summarising can also be helpful in revision for students for example in the use of flash cards. This is where the student can reconstruct scentances from the notes

How to summarise- Repeat the original ideas of the original text in different words or phrases. Don't add your opinions or ideas to the text. Also, make it shorter than the source otherwise it wont be summarised.

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Active engagement shows the person talking that you are listening to them. It can show confusion, understanding and gratitude, etc. It is one of the main skills needed to have effective communication and keep a conversation going.

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This kind of communication shows that everyone is listening. This active enagagment means that people may be more liklely to take part in sharing ideas and such, because it produces a good atmosphere where people will feel safe to share there ideas. An example.

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In the industry, showing them that you have effective Active Engagement, will show them that your are a confident person, as well as a good listener. These are both important because it shows that you will also be good with the customers and that you are good at what you do. So they are important because they help to show that you are an outgoing and polite individual.<br>