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The paper jumps around a lot

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There is no thesis statement in the introductory paragraph.

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Question #2
The paper jumped around too much. There were too many examples. It was rough, and did not flow.

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There is no strong thesis statement in the introductory paragraph. Instead, there are hints throughout

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Our Fellow Creatures Have Feelings

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1.       Does the introductory paragraph grab the reader’s attention?  Does it contain a thesis statement that reveals the position to be argued? Explain.

(The thesis statement is an argument boiled down to one sentence. Choose a strong, defendable stance for your thesis statement.  For a persuasive essay, this statement needs to take a strong, active stance on the issue. Don't try and play both sides and be wishy-washy -- it won't persuade anyone.)

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2.       Is there a connected flow of argument topics throughout the essay?  Are there too many argument topics?  Are there too little?  Explain.

(Topic sentences, that begin each paragraph of the essay, should be clear and directed. Consider the beginning of each paragraph as a mini-thesis statement. This allows an argument to flow cohesively. An argument is built brick by brick for the reader so there is no confusion.)

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3.       Is there an opposing view paragraph?  Is it described well and does it refute all the key points of the opposing view? Is there one missing? Explain.

(Acknowledge, and refute, arguments against you. While the majority of the essay should be kept to your own argument, you will seal your case if you can see and disprove the arguments against you. Save this for the second to last paragraph, in general.)

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4.    Does the concluding paragraph restate and reinforce the thesis statement and the supporting evidence? Why does this argument or opinion mean something to me? What further questions has the argument raised? What action could readers take after reading the essay? Explain.

(As a general rule, it's a good idea to restate each of your main points and end the whole paper with a probing thought. The essay will leave a lasting impression if it's something the reader won't easily forget. Don’t just restate the thesis; think about how you will leave the reader.)

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The Most Commonly Used Fallacies

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The Most Commonly Used Fallacies in Writing a Persuasive Essay

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The girl who silenced the world for 5 minutes

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She addressed a UN Meeting on issue of environment