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A tragic event is difficult to comprehend for even the most mature, knowledgeable adult. For children and adolescents faced with trying to understand such an overwhelming experience, the task is even more daunting. How can a young person grasp the enormity, meaning, and consequences of an occurrence that brought death, injury, or harm into his life? These are the times, as parents and teachers, when words fail us. Sometimes we are consumed with our own emotions and other times, we cannot seem to begin these important conversations. But literature can give us a starting point. Because stories are a form of medicine. They offer catharsis, they hold a mirror so we can better see our own experiences, and they invite us to question, demand answers, get angry, feel sad, and somehow learn to cope and grow and move forward in our experience. Because books can be such a powerful balm during a time of grief, here's our list of favorite books for kids and teens that explore the difficult experiences of death, grief, loss, and bereavement.
The Dead Bird by Margaret Wise Brown (Harper-Collins, 2016) Ages 4 and up
Finding a still warm but dead bird, a group of children give it a fitting burial and every day, until they forget, come again to the woods to sing to the dead bird and place fresh flowers on its grave. An excellent book handling the subject of death in which all young children have a natural interest.

The Heart and The Bottle by Oliver Jeffers (Philomel Books, 2010)

There is a wonder and magic to childhood. We don't realize it at the time, of course... yet the adults in our lives do. They encourage us to see things in the stars and to find joy in colors and laughter as we play. But what happens when that special someone who encourages such wonder and magic is no longer around? We can hide, we can place our heart in a bottle and grow up... or we can find another special someone who understands the magic. And we can encourage them to see things in the stars and find joy among colors and laughter. This remarkable book is a touching and resonant tale that will speak to the hearts of children and parents alike.
Ages 4 and up
Listen by Holly McGhee (Roaring Book Press, 2019)

Experience the power of listening to your heart, paying attention, love, and empathy in , a simple and tender picture book by Holly M. McGhee and Pascal Lemaitre, the creators of the New York Times bestseller Come With Me . The buoyant verses and gentle art show young readers how to connect with the whole world. From exploring sensorial surroundings ― what you see, breathe, hear, taste, and feel ― to becoming aware of our shared experiences.
Ages 4-7
A Shelter for Sadness by Anne Booth (Peachtree Press, 2021)

A small boy creates a shelter for his sadness so that he can visit it whenever he needs to, and the two of them can cry, talk, or just sit. The boy knows that one day his sadness may come out of the shelter, and together they will look out at the world and see how beautiful it is. In this timely consideration of sadness and mental health, Anne Booth offers a beautiful depiction of how children (and everyone else) must care for their emotions and give attention to their grief on a regular basis.
Ages 5 and up
Sweet Sweet Memory by Jacqueline Woodson and Floyd Cooper (Jump at the Sun, 2007)

Now that Grandpa's gone, Sarah tries to remember what he used to say about the garden. Like us, he would tell her, a part of it never dies. Everything and everyone goes on and on. But Sarah feels very sad, even though Grandma and all the relatives are with her, sharing stories and hugs. How can life go on without Grandpa? As summer slips into fall, Grandma and Sarah share a rich garden harvest and their sweet, sweet memories of Grandpa. The stories and memories of loved ones, Sarah learns, are what keeps everything and everyone going on and on. This spare and beautiful picture book balances sadness and mourning with the comforting notion of the continuity of all life.

When the boy in this story wakes up to find that his mother has died, he is overwhelmed with sadness, anger, and fear that he will forget her. He shuts all the windows to keep in his mother's familiar smell and scratches open the cut on his knee to remember her comforting voice. He doesn't know how to speak to his dad anymore, and when Grandma visits and throws open the windows, it's more than the boy can take - until his grandmother shows him another way to feel that his mom's love is near. With tenderness, touches of humor, and unflinching emotional truth, The Scar captures the loneliness of grief through the eyes of a child, rendered with sympathy and charm.
Grades K-3
Currently out of print but available in libraries or through sellers like Thiftbooks.com and .
The Scar by Charlotte Moundic (Candlewick Press, 2011) Grades K-4
The Color of Absence: 12 Stories About Loss and Hope edited by James Howe (Simon & Schuster)

"In adolescence, we feel our losses as if for the first time, with a greater depth of pain and drama than we are aware of having experienced ever before," writes James Howe in his introduction to this collection of short stories which celebrated fiction authors for young adults explore the many faces of loss - the common thread they share and the hope that is borne through change. Featuring stories by Naomi Shihab Nye, Jacqueline Woodson, Chris Lynch, Walter Dean Myers, Annette Curtis Klause, Norma Fox Mazer, and others.

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson (Harper Festival, 2006)
Grades 6-10
This Newbery Medal-winning novel revolves around two friends. Jess Aarons is eager to start fifth grade and wants to become the fastest runner at school. All seems to be on track, until the new girl in class, Leslie Burke, leaves all the boys in the dust, including Jess. But the two become fast friends and spend most of their days in the woods behind Leslie's house, where they invent an enchanted land called Terabithia. One morning, Leslie goes to Terabithia without Jess and a tragedy occurs. It will take the love of his family and the strength that Leslie has given him for Jess to be able to deal with his grief. Author Katherine Paterson wrote the book for her son, who lost a friend in a tragic accident at the age of 8.

Ab(solutely) Normal: Short Stories That Smash Mental Health Stereotypes edited by Nora Shalaway Carpenter & Rocky Callen (Penguin Randomhouse, April 2023)
Ages 9 and up
In this inspiring, unflinching, and hope-filled mixed-genre collection, sixteen diverse and notable authors draw on their own lived experiences with mental health conditions to create works of fiction that will uplift and empower you, break your heart and stitch it back together stronger than before. Through powerful prose, verse, and graphics, the characters in this anthology defy stereotypes and remind readers that living with a mental health condition doesn't mean that you're defined by it. Each story is followed by a note from its author to the reader, and comprehensive back matter includes bios for the contributors as well as a collection of relevant resources. A discussion guide for parents, young people, and teachers will be available.

Join the Movement

Interested in helping change how the nation addresses bereavement?
Teen & Young Adults Sign up to help make the world a more livable place for bereaved children and families!

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Best Books for Kids and Teens on Death, Grief, and Bereavement " Evermore

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A tragic event is difficult to comprehend for even the most mature, knowledgeable adult. For children and adolescents faced with trying to understand such an overwhelming experience, the task is even more daunting. How can a young person grasp the enormity, meaning, and consequences of an occurrence that brought death, injury, or harm into his life?

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Camp Erin Chicago

Northwestern Settlement
Chicago, IL
Visit website

Ann & Robert H Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago

225 E Chicago Ave.
Chicago, IL 60630
Visit website

Fox Valley Hands of Hope

200 Whitfield Dr
Geneva, IL 60134
Visit website

Hearts To Art - Auditorium Theatre

50 E Ida B Wells Dr.
Chicago, IL 60605
Visit website

Lincolnland Hospice of Sarah Bush Lincoln

1004 Health Center Dr.
Suite 202
Mattoon, IL 61938
Visit website

Eluna

Supporting children and families impacted by grief or addiction.

EIN: 91-2065051

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Camp Erin Chicago Northwestern Settlement Chicago, IL Visit website Ann & Robert H Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago 225 E Chicago Ave.

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Childhood Bereavement: A Critical Issue

An estimated 5.6 million children in the U.S. will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18.

Childhood grief has profound impacts on youth, families, and communities. In partnership with the New York Life Foundation, we developed the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM) to understand the magnitude of the issue. The CBEM approximates rates of U.S. children and youth who will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the time they reach adulthood.

This information helps communities evaluate the impacts of unaddressed grief, campaign for grief resources, and ultimately, contribute to improved outcomes for grieving families everywhere.

The 2022 National CBEM Report is available now. The report reflects the early impact of the pandemic through the analysis of CDC mortality data from 2016-2020 and includes alarming cause of death trends during this time period. Download the national report for more details and stay tuned for updated state reports in May.

Childhood Bereavement: Race & Ethnicity

Analyses reveal significant differences in prevalence based on race and ethnicity.

Each year, our team highlights a Key Topic that provides important context to our understanding of childhood bereavement using the CBEM. Our 2021 analyses based on race and ethnicity illuminate disproportionate incidences of childhood bereavement and underscore the need for critical and timely grief supports for children.

Derived using CDC data for the years 2015 - 2019, these results complement annual CBEM reports. Results are presented for each racial (American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian or Pacific Islander, Black or African American, White) and ethnic category (Hispanic or Latino) using specific mortality and birth data from CDC Wonder.

Other key topics include childhood bereavement related to population density, county, and substance abuse.

Childhood Bereavement in the United States

2021 CBEM State results vary greatly across the nation. West Virginia has the highest concentration of bereaved children with 11.5% experiencing the loss of a parent or sibling by age 18. California has the lowest concentration with 5.6%. National, state, and county-level findings help advocates better understand and support the unique needs of bereaved children in their communities.

How many children and youth will be bereaved in YOUR state? Hover over the map for a snapshot of CBEM rankings and rates. Click on a state to view and download the full report.

Join us in elevating childhood bereavement to a critical public priority. You can keep kids on track to health and healing by utilizing our CBEM resources to educate your community and increase awareness.
Want more information? Data tables for all 50 states include 2021 CBEM results for children bereaved by age 18 and youth bereaved by age 25.

Childhood Bereavement: The Cost of Inaction

Research shows that bereaved children are at an increased risk of disrupted development. Unaddressed childhood grief and trauma can lead to short- and long-term difficulties including decreased academic performance, mental health issues, and early mortality.

Timely support introduced at critical junctions aids in healthy development. Each day, bereaved youth turn to peers and adults for assistance in managing complex grief reactions. Data from the CBEM reinforces the need for access to grief-focused education and programming that helps communities respond compassionately and confidently.
Judi's House/JAG Institute partnered with the New York Life Foundation to help support grieving children and families by creating the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model.

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Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model - Judi's House

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An estimated 5.6 million children in the U.S. will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18. Childhood grief has profound impacts on youth, families, and communities. In partnership with the New York Life Foundation, we developed the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM) to understand the magnitude of the issue.

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We want to make it easy for you to quickly find care. You only need to dial one phone number: 708-PILLARS (708-745-5277) to gain access to a variety of services. And if we can't help, we'll put you in touch with someone who can.

24-hour, confidential domestic violence hotline:
708-485-5254

24-hour, confidential sexual assault hotline:
708-482-9600

We proudly represent and serve diverse communities in the western and southwestern suburbs of Chicago. Our caring, compassionate staff sees cultural differences as ASSETS. You are welcome regardless of your language, your race, your sexual orientation, your ability to pay, or any other factor.

Pillars Community Health is announcing that Dr. Jennifer Swoyer has begun as Senior Vice President and Chief Medical and Population Health Officer. Dr. Swoyer has...

Pillars Community Health is very fortunate to be the recipient of a $25,000 donation from the Bomher Family Foundation, which has been directed towards the...

At Pillars Community Health we rely on a wide variety of funding sources to ensure that area residents can access "the care they need, when...

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Health and Social Services in Chicago Suburbs - Pillars Community Health

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We want to make it easy for you to quickly find care. You only need to dial one phone number: 708-PILLARS (708-745-5277) to gain access to a variety of services. And if we can't help, we'll put you in touch with someone who can.

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KidsGrief.ca is a free online resource that helps parents support their children when someone in their life is dying or has died. It equips parents with the words and confidence needed to help children grieve life’s losses in healthy ways.

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to learn more about the Autism & Grief Project's guiding principles.

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Psychologists suggest the following resources to help autistic people understand and cope with tragedy and grief.
For more information and resources, contact the Autism Speaks Autism Response Team: English: 888-288-4762 or help@autismspeaks.org En Español: 888-772-9050 or ayuda@autismspeaks.org
Please ensure Javascript is enabled for purposes of website accessibility

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Grief and Bereavement Resources | Autism Speaks

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Autism Speaks provides suggestions from psychologists and resources about helping people with autism understand and respond to tragedy and grief.

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Understanding Child and Adolescent Grief

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Understanding Child and Adolescent Grief

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Understanding Child and Adolescent Grief: Supporting Loss and Facilitating Growth (Series in Death, Dying, and Bereavement)

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Amazon.com: Understanding Child and Adolescent Grief: Supporting Loss and Facilitating Growth (Series in Death, Dying, and Bereavement): 9781138740884: Arnold, Carrie: Books

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One Wave at a Time: A Story about Grief and Healing

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One Wave at a Time: A Story about Grief and Healing [Thompson, Holly, Crowley, Ashley] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. One Wave at a Time: A Story about Grief and Healing

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Where Do Balloons Go? An Uplifting Mystery

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Where Do Balloons Go? An Uplifting Mystery [Curtis, Jamie Lee, Cornell, Laura] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Where Do Balloons Go? An Uplifting Mystery

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Sharing emotions related to grief and saying goodbye is often difficult, especially for children and teens. Writing goodbye letters can help individuals ease into the exploration of complex and conflicting feelings. In this activity, youth and families will be given a goodbye letter template with sentence starter prompts that speak directly to the person who died while reflecting on feelings and memories. The practice of writing can provide an emotional release when paired with the empowering choice of sharing, saving, or shredding the letter once completed.

Keep in mind that saying goodbye can bring up big emotions and it's important to provide opportunities for participants to opt in and out of the activity at any time.

Read a book or watch a video about saying goodbye:

Use the goodbye letter template to reflect on how the fictional main character from a book or movie might respond to each sentence starter. By discussing the feelings of a fictional character, children can feel-out the level of safety in that space, prior to sharing their personal feelings. After the discussion, you can ask if they would like to write a goodbye letter to their person who died. Here are some books and videos that we recommend for saying goodby
Books about saying goodbye:

The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr: Through the lens of a pet fish who has lost his companion, Todd Parr tells a moving and wholly accessible story about saying goodbye. Touching upon the host of emotions children experience, Todd reminds readers that it's okay not to know all the answers, and that someone will always be there to support them. An invaluable resource for life's toughest moments.

Saying Goodbye by Alejandra Pozzo Stevenson: Saying Goodbye takes the reader along a journey of grief as the character processes the death of their person. Confused about this death, the character is guided by a star who teaches them what it means to lose someone you love and to treasure the memories their loved one left behind.

But I Don't Want to Say Goodbye by Ta'Shay Mason: The death of someone in your life is never easy to understand, let alone speak about. But for a little girl whose father has just died, the hardest thing is figuring out how to say goodbye. As Mommy makes funeral arrangements and tries to figure out the best way to say goodbye to a man who was loved by many, the little girl must find her own way to come to peace with her father's death.

Videos about saying goodbye:

Nzingha and Saying Goodbye: When someone dies, we may feel several different emotions. Join Nzingha and the children in Amber's Class as they share some of these feelings about the death of their class pet and other special people in their lives.

You'll Find Me: This video is a read aloud of the children's book, You'll Find Me by Amanda Rawson Hill. This book is about grief and remembering someone when they have died.

Pick one sentence prompt and draw a picture:

For many people, drawing can be an access point to deeper emotions. In this variation, participants can pick any sentence starter from the goodbye letter template and draw a picture to illustrate their response. Children and families may choose to then follow up by writing out some responses in the letter.

Introduce emotional vocabulary along with the letter:

Children and youth are continuously learning new terms that best describe their feelings related to grief. You can foster emotional literacy with activities such as Feeling Faces, Ocean of Emotion, and Inside Out - Getting to Know My Emotions. Once an array of emotions has been identified, introduce the goodbye letter activity.

Journaling with the sentence starters:

If participants have a diary or journal, they can use Eluna's goodbye letter template to spark some ideas for a new journal entry. When journaling, they can be encouraged to write freely while letting go of any expectations about length, format, grammar, etc. The beauty of journaling is the openness that each page presents to weave in symbols, art, colors, and judgement-free expression.

Goodbye letter sharing:

After completing the goodbye letter, you can provide creative options for sharing the letter with others (only if they fully opt into a sharing exercise). Here are some ideas:

Gallery Post It Walk: Ask each participant to choose one sentence from their goodbye letter that they feel comfortable writing on a post-it for the gallery walk (without revealing their name). The facilitator can collect the post-its and then display them around the room. We recommend inviting participants to move around the room silently with soft music in the background, then wrapping up with a closing reflection question about the activity.

Letter Exchange: Participants can be paired or grouped with one another to exchange their letters. After reading the letters of one another, provide some time for the group or family to further connect, reflect, and support one another.

One Word or Sentence Reflection: Participants can choose to share a one-word reflection about their letter, or they can choose once sentence to read aloud to the group.

Confidential Sentence Sharing: Ask each participant to put a star next to one sentence they feel comfortable having shared by a facilitator (without revealing names). This way the children and families can hear powerful reflections from one another while maintaining some privacy.

Sharing privately at a place of rememberance: Some participants may choose to read their letter aloud directly to the person who died at a place of rememberance.

Saying goodbye individually, or collectively as a group, can be a meaningful activity for children and families of all ages. There is no timeline to grief, and the same goes for goodbye rituals. Choosing to write a goodbye letter, even long after a person's death, can help to deepen reflection and connection within the life-long grieving process.
For more bereavement activities, click here or contact the Eluna Resource Center directly for personalized support and resources (in Spanish and English).

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Goodbye Letter: Activity for Grieving Children and Families

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Sharing emotions related to grief and saying goodbye is often difficult, especially for children and teens. Writing goodbye letters can help individuals ease into the exploration of complex and conflicting feelings. In this activity, youth and families will be given a goodbye letter template with sentence starter prompts that speak directly to the person who died while reflecting on feelings and memories.

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Opción B: Afrontar la adversidad, desarrollar la resiliencia y alcanzar la felicidad / Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding ... Resilience, and Finding Joy (Spanish Edition)

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Opción B: Afrontar la adversidad, desarrollar la resiliencia y alcanzar la felicidad / Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding ... Resilience, and Finding Joy (Spanish Edition) [Sandberg, Sheryl, Grant, Adam] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Opción B: Afrontar la adversidad, desarrollar la resiliencia y alcanzar la felicidad / Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding ...

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¡Nada más aterrador que una tormenta nocturna! Liza y Jeremy corren al lado de su madre cuando un terrible trueno los despierta. Pero ella tiene palabras para tranquilizarlos: les explica que existe un hilo invisible hecho de amor que une a las personas que se quieren. Este hilo conecta a los hijos con sus padres, y también con sus mejores amigos. ¿Pero qué tan lejos puede llegar ese hilo? Mamá explica que irá hasta donde esté la persona amada. ¿Incluso hasta el espacio? Sí. Incluso hasta el espacio. Este libro clásico en el mundo anglosajón es una lección para toda la vida sobre lo que conecta a los hijos con los padres, un lazo que dura para siempre, desde los primeros pasos lejos del regazo materno hasta la vida adulta.

There's nothing scarier than a nightmare! Liza and Jeremy run to their mother's side when they have one. She has words to calm them down; she explains that there's an invisible thre

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El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition)

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El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition) [Karst, Patrice, Lew-Vriethoff, Joanne] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition)

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If you are going to buy only one book on grief, this is the one to get. It will validate your grief experience, and you can share it with your children. You can leave it on the coffee table so others will pick it up, read it, and then better appreciate your grieving time. The tips section at the back of the book is rich with wisdom and concrete recommendations. Better than a casserole! * Affirms the bereaved * Educates the unbereaved * A building-block for children

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Sopa de Lagrimas: Una Receta Para Sanar Despues de una Perdida = Tear Soup (Spanish Edition)

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If you are going to buy only one book on grief, this is the one to get. It will validate your grief experience, and you can share it with your children. You can leave it on the coffee table so others will pick it up, read it, and then better appreciate your grieving time.

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https://www.amazon.com/Cuando-alguien-muy-especial-muere/dp/1577491270

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This book was designed to teach children death education, to recognize and express feelings of grief, encourage open communication, and help adults discover unhealthy misconceptions the child may have. The concepts needed to teach following objectives are included in the following text, but may be stressed further by additional reading suggested. This resource is also available in English.
BOOK INFORMATION
by Marge Eaton Heegaard

ISBN10: 1-57749-127-0
ISBN13: 978-1-57749-127-9

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Cuando alguien muy especial muere: Los niños pueden aprender a enfrentar la adversidad (When Someone Very Special Dies (Spanish))

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This book was designed to teach children death education, to recognize and express feelings of grief, encourage open communication, and help adults discover unhealthy misconceptions the child may have. The concepts needed to teach following objectives are included in the following text, but may be stressed further by additional reading suggested.

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SPANISH DESCRIPTION

Es el Día de los Muertos y Nando y su Madre van a honrar a Tío Fernando. Nando, nombrado en honor de Tío Fernando, escucha a su Madre decirle que mas adelante en el cementerio se van a encontrarse con el espirito de Tío Fernando.

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The Spirit of Tío Fernando: A Day of the Dead Story/Una hisoria del Día de los Muertos (English and Spanish Edition)

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The Spirit of Tío Fernando: A Day of the Dead Story/Una hisoria del Día de los Muertos (English and Spanish Edition) [Levy, Janice, Fuenmayor, Morella, Mlawer, Teresa] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers.

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Based on a true story, the book follows the struggles of the Chávez family after their father suddenly dies. Natalia, the oldest of three children, tells how her family learned to engage in life again during the years following her fathers death. Day by day along their grief journey, the family embraces lifes opportunities, celebrates special times together, and dreams of future endeavors. As Natalia s mother explains, this is the only way to heal a grieving heart. historia real
Intended for children aged 6-12, the books limited text, beautifully touching illustrations and helpful strategies, assist adults in talking to children about their loss.
En esta , la joven Natalia nos relata los años que siguieron a la trágica muerte de su padre y cómo su familia aprendió a retomar la vida diaria. Día tras día, a lo largo de su duelo, la familia tomó nuevas oportunidades que les presentaba la vida, celebran juntos momentos especiales y sueñan con proyectos futuros. Como explica la madre de Natalia, es la única forma de sanar un corazón en duelo. Esta es una historia de esperanza.

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Not the End of the Chávez Family, A Family's Journey through Grief: No es el fin de la familia Chávez, El camino de una familia por el duelo (English and Spanish Edition)

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Not the End of the Chávez Family, A Family's Journey through Grief: No es el fin de la familia Chávez, El camino de una familia por el duelo (English and Spanish Edition) [Mari Dombkowski, Lauren Terwilliger, Nazar Horokhivskyi, Nazar Horokhivskyi] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers.

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If you are going to buy only one book on grief, this is the one to get. It will validate your grief experience, and you can share it with your children. You can leave it on the coffee table so others will pick it up, read it, and then better appreciate your grieving time. The tips section at the back of the book is rich with wisdom and concrete recommendations. Better than a casserole! * Affirms the bereaved * Educates the unbereaved * A building-block for children

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Sopa de Lagrimas: Una Receta Para Sanar Despues de una Perdida = Tear Soup (Spanish Edition)

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If you are going to buy only one book on grief, this is the one to get. It will validate your grief experience, and you can share it with your children. You can leave it on the coffee table so others will pick it up, read it, and then better appreciate your grieving time.

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¡Nada más aterrador que una tormenta nocturna! Liza y Jeremy corren al lado de su madre cuando un terrible trueno los despierta. Pero ella tiene palabras para tranquilizarlos: les explica que existe un hilo invisible hecho de amor que une a las personas que se quieren. Este hilo conecta a los hijos con sus padres, y también con sus mejores amigos. ¿Pero qué tan lejos puede llegar ese hilo? Mamá explica que irá hasta donde esté la persona amada. ¿Incluso hasta el espacio? Sí. Incluso hasta el espacio. Este libro clásico en el mundo anglosajón es una lección para toda la vida sobre lo que conecta a los hijos con los padres, un lazo que dura para siempre, desde los primeros pasos lejos del regazo materno hasta la vida adulta.

There's nothing scarier than a nightmare! Liza and Jeremy run to their mother's side when they have one. She has words to calm them down; she explains that there's an invisible thre

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El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition)

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El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition) [Karst, Patrice, Lew-Vriethoff, Joanne] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition)

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NACG's list of bereavement support programs (National list by state)

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NACG's list of bereavement support programs (National list by state)

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Please use the links below to Find Support in your area.

The National Alliance for Grieving Children lists grief support service providers who serve children, teens and their families. The National Alliance for Grieving Children does not evaluate or check the validity of certifications or licenses of any provider. In seeking grief support services and/or counseling, NAGC recommends that each consumer inquire directly with the providers listed as to their trainings and certifications, with the better business bureau or with any applicable governing licensing boards.

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Please use the links below to Find Support in your area. The National Alliance for Grieving Children lists grief support service providers who serve children, teens and their families. The National Alliance for Grieving Children does not evaluate or check the validity of certifications or licenses of any provider.

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Hearts to Art Summer Camp - Auditorium Theatre

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The Auditorium Theatre presents our award-winning summer camp, Hearts to Art, formerly known as Hands Together, Heart to Art! This unique performing arts camp brings together young people between the ages of 7 and 14 who have experienced the death of a parent to encourage the healing power of creative play.

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About Us

The Coalition to Support Grieving Students is a unique collaboration of the leading professional organizations representing classroom teachers (including teachers, paraprofessionals, and other instructional staff), principals, assistant principals, superintendents, school board members, and central office staff, student support personnel (including school counselors, school nurses, school psychologists, school social workers, and other student support personnel), and other school professionals who have come together with a common conviction: grieving students need the support and care of the school community.

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Home Page - Coalition to Support Grieving Students

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The Coalition to Support Grieving Students is a unique collaboration of the leading professional organizations representing classroom teachers (including teachers, paraprofessionals, and other instructional staff), principals, assistant principals, superintendents, school board members, and central office staff, student support personnel (including school counselors, school nurses, school psychologists, school social workers, and other student support personnel), and other school professionals who have come together with a common conviction: grieving students need the support and care of the school community.

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Need Help Dealing with Grief? - GriefShare

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GriefShare is a grief recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of losing a loved one.

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Everywhere I turn people are talking about grief, all types of grief. Mostly they are trying to make sense of this complicated world we're in, which I totally understand. I am someone who writes about grief. I'm also a mental health professional. I'm also a human being who has lost two good friends and a family member in the last three months.

In reading all these articles, I am some strange combination of heartened and annoyed. Weird, I know. On the one hand, I am so glad to see it acknowledged, to see support for all the loss in the world right now. And on the other hand, I am annoyed by the messaging I keep seeing which implies there are simple labels, easy answers, or quick fixes. Spoiler alert: there aren't.

One of the confusing things right now is that we talk about this "current crisis" as though it is just one thing. We are all getting a lot of messages trying to label what we're going through. This is ambiguous grief. What you're feeling is anticipatory grief. This is existential anxiety. And on and on. But the reality is that this crisis is many things, impacting many areas of life and creating many losses.

Each of us is having an individual experience. We are having different losses within this crisis. Our circumstances are wildly varied. We are all coping in different ways. What we are coping with in the world at the moment isn't any one thing. So today we just want to quickly explain a bunch of things. Not to overwhelm you (we hope), but because we want to make sure you know there is a lot to what people are feeling and experiencing right now.

Some things you read about, here or elsewhere, might be relevant to you. Some might not be relevant to you, but you might be seeing them in the world around you. It's a lot, and it's normal.

7 Types of Grief and Loss to Know Right Now

We talk about types of grief all over this website, but we know at this moment you might not be interested in reading through full posts on different types of loss to sort out what you're going through. So we've created some cliff notes of those we think might be the most relevant.

Non-Death Loss

A person can grieve the loss of anything significant to their physical, psychological, spiritual, and interpersonal lives. Throughout a person's life, they will experience many non-death losses. Some will feel minor and manageable-while other losses feel devastating and life-altering.

Many types of losses are capable of causing complicated emotions, difficulties in daily functioning, and impairment in one's ability to move forward. These losses are often significant enough to require a decent amount of processing and, like after a death, grievers often view their lives in terms of "before" and "after" the loss. You can read our full post about non-death grief this here. Or if you prefer to listen, you can check out our podcast episode on non-death losses.

Secondary Losses

When it comes to grief, it is easy to focus on the one, big, central, or "primary" loss that someone is experiencing. But the reason grief can feel like it upends every area of life is that a primary loss can kick off a string of secondary losses. After experiencing a devastating loss, grieving people are often surprised to find there is a ripple effect of subsequent losses.

The primary loss causes such significant shifts and fractures that there is a domino effect of losses related to things like finances, friends, community, worldview, faith, sense-of-self, and the list goes on. There is a lot to be said about this topic, so read our full post on secondary loss here. Or, if you prefer to listen, our podcast episode on secondary loss is right here.

Ambiguous Loss

This feels like a tough one to sum up in a sound bite here, because there is so much to ambiguous loss. Pauline Boss has been bringing us amazing research on this for over forty years. Ambiguous loss happens when you're grieving someone who is still living. It's different than the grief you experience when someone you love dies. That kind of loss is finite and certain, and there's no question you should feel pain. Ambiguous loss happens when something or someone profoundly changes or disappears. A person feels torn between hope things will return to normal and the looming sense that life as they knew it is fading away like a Polaroid developing in reverse.

One type of loss is when we grieve someone who is still physically present in our lives but who is "psychologically absent" (because of something like dementia, substance use, or a traumatic brain injury). The other is the type we are seeing more of right now, grieving someone who we can't physically be with. We have a whole post on the former type of ambiguous loss here, and a post on the latter type of ambiguous loss here.

Cumulative Loss

You can probably take a guess at what this is. Cumulative loss refers to the experience of suffering a new loss before you have the chance to grieve a first loss. It comes up when we suffer multiple losses in quick succession. It's important to note, grieving the death of a loved one is never really "done". It's common for new losses to bring up memories and emotions about past losses. So some amount of cumulative grief is almost always a given. When we become overwhelmed by anything our mind kicks into an incredibly powerful defense mechanism, which is avoidance.

Though avoidance may seem like a really bad thing (and it can be), it can be our body's way of keeping us functioning in the short term. When we are overloaded with multiple losses, this avoidance allows us to maintain our day to day activities, which in many cases is adaptive. What becomes important when losses have become cumulative is an awareness that we may need to make a concerted effort to begin the work of facing the reality of the loss, as this avoidance can't continue indefinitely. If you're coping with cumulative grief, you can check out our full post here.

NonFinite Loss

From childhood, people form ideas about how they think and hope their lives will turn out. People imagine, make choices, and work towards the future they think they want and, in some cases, need. But many things are out of one's control, When someone doesn't have the child, partner, job, or life they want, they may experience nonfinite grief. Nonfinite grief is something a person may carry with them for a long time. It continues as they struggle with the push and pull of trying to achieve their hopes and dreams but continually finding that life falls short of their expectations.

Any time our life doesn't match up with our expectations or schema, we are at risk of non-finite grief. If the world is bringing up a lot of dissonance between what you thought things would look like and what they do look like at the moment, this might be the word to describe what you're coping with!

Anticipatory Grief

If there is one type of grief that people are familiar with beyond regular-old-grief, it is often anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief is grief that occurs before a potential loss. Any time circumstances lead a person to think that death is a real possibility, they may start to grieve aspects of the loss. Anticipatory grief doesn't mean that a person will grieve any less. It just may mean they process elements of the loss more slowly and overtime. Anticipatory grief brings up a lot of complicated emotions, so please check out our full post on anticipatory grief here.

Disenfranchised Grief

Disenfranchised grief is when a person feels denied the right to grieve by family, friends, community members, or society on the whole. When a loss is disenfranchised, it means the grieving person isn't getting the support or validation they need. This means different things to different people. Where one person only needs validation from themselves, another person may feel they need the acknowledgment of their entire family, community, or society.

Regardless, the impact of disenfranchised grief is that the person experiencing it feels alienated, invalidated, ashamed, weak, etc. There are so many, many things that can feel disenfranchised depending on your own experience and your own support system. If you're feeling this experience, check out our full post on disenfranchised grief here.

What about traumatic grief?

You may be wondering about traumatic grief. There is a lot to be said about that and we can't sum it up in just a couple sentences, so if this is on your mind just head on over to our full article on grief after a traumatic loss.

Want to hear us talk a bit more about all of these? We gotcha. Check out our podcast episode on this topic below.

Free online grief support course for grief during COVID
What do you think? Relate? Don't relate? Leave a comment! And as always, subscribe over in the sidebar to get our weekly update right to your email!

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7 Types of Grief You Should Know Right Now - Whats your Grief

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Everywhere I turn people are talking about grief, all types of grief. Mostly they are trying to make sense of this complicated world we're in, which I totally understand. I am someone who writes about grief. I'm also a mental health professional.

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COVID Grief Network is excited to announce that we will soon have a new home under Reimagine, a community-driven nonprofit dedicated to transforming the world by facing loss, death, and adversity together. Structurally, CGN organizers will be transitioning the Network over to Reimagine staff this summer, after which CGN will cease to be its own independent organization. To read the full announcement about the transition, please click here.

Over the last two years CGN has offered 1:1 and group-based grief support to young adults in their 20s and 30s who lost a loved one to COVID. In shifting towards these Reimagine programs our volunteer-run grief groups will no longer be offered in their current form.

Though our grief support groups as we know them will be ceasing, we are excited that there will be new opportunities to participate in group programming and workshops through Reimagine.

If you are interested in future offerings from Reimagine at the intersection of COVID, grief, and loss, sign up for Reimagine's list below and check out their current offerings here.

Click here to learn more from Reimagine

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COVID Grief Network is excited to announce that we will soon have a new home under Reimagine , a community-driven nonprofit dedicated to transforming the world by facing loss, death, and adversity together. Structurally, CGN organizers will be transitioning the Network over to Reimagine staff this summer, after which CGN will cease to be its own independent organization.

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If you came here looking for a script for talking to your child about death and grief, I'm sorry, we can't give you one. Your child is an individual and your situation is unique, so what you say and do will depend on a number of different factors. But here's some good news:

(1) As a caring and loving parent, you likely already have the qualities necessary to navigate this situation

(2) Qualities like reliability, consistency, warmth, and openness are far more beneficial to the child's well-being than having the perfect words and right answers.

(3) We can't tell you exactly what to say, but we can offer you tips on talking to kids about death and grief.

As a general rule of thumb, what you discuss with the child will depend on the following three things:

How old they are

The child's age will have a large influence on how you communicate with the child. As children learn, grow, and mature, their capacity to understand will change and evolve. For instance, when speaking with small children you will want to stick with straightforward and simple answers, while when speaking with teens you may explore more complex and abstract concepts. We will address this a little further here, but we recommend reviewing this article, Childhood Grief: The influence of age on understanding, if you haven't already.

How close they were to the person who died

We'll define closeness in two ways (1) when the child was very close to the deceased such as with a parent, grandparent, or sibling or (2) when the memory of the deceased is a constant presence, even though the child may not have had a close relationship with the person. Examples of this second scenario include any close family member, like a grandparent, sibling, or parent, who died before the child was able to build a relationship with them.

If the person who died was not a close family member, friend or community member, you may find that having one or two conversations is all that is necessary. If the person who died was a close family member or friend or community member, then you should conceptualize your first conversation as the beginning of an ongoing dialogue, rather than as a single conversation.

Although initial conversations about the death may not be detailed, expect that as the child processes the loss, and as their capacity to question and understand matures, they may (1) want to know more about their loved one (2) want to know more about the circumstances of the death and (3) want to talk about their loved one as a way of maintaining their ongoing bond.

How curious they are

If the child has questions, it's a sign that they are curious, that they don't understand, or that they are seeking reassurance. Remember, grief is an ongoing process and that your child may continue to process the death long after your conversation with them has ended. Allow the child to ask questions within the context of your conversation(s) and make sure they know it's okay to ask questions later on if they come up. Don't be surprised if children ask the same questions over and over, they may want to clarify their understanding or they may want reassurance that the story hasn't changed. If you think it may be helpful, you and the child can also discuss other adults they feel comfortable going to with questions (such as an aunt or uncle, adult sibling, faith leader, etc).

Some specific tips for talking to kids about death and grief:

Tip #1: Assess Understanding

Assess your child's understanding of the topic at hand; either what specifically happened to their loved one and/or their understanding of concepts like death. Many children have no prior experience with death and they may have no idea, or odd ideas, about what happens when a person dies.

For example, a few years ago I asked my 4-year-old daughter, Virginia, what happens when you die.

Hmmmm...any other guesses?

Okay, so four-year-old Virginia seems to know that death has something to do with the body, but beyond that, her conception seems a mix of imagination and information she's picked up here-and-there (from watching CSI? I don't know).

Let's ask 7-year-old Virginia?

Seven-year-old Virginia has a more complex understanding of death. She has a vague idea of what happens, she understands death's permanence, she knows that people feel tough emotions after someone dies, and she has real-life reference points.

It's good to assess the child's understanding of what you plan to discuss with them because this will help you decide how to approach the subject. Now we're not saying you should give your child the third-degree, rather that it can be helpful to begin your conversation by asking them about the thoughts and ideas already swirling around in their heads.

Such a conversation can take many forms. Some examples include:

If your family has recently experienced the death of someone very important, you may start with a specific question like - "Do you know why mommy is sad today?"

If you think the child already has some idea of what has happened (because children are far more tuned in than you think) you might ask something like,"What do you know about what's been going on?" or "What do you think happened?"

If you're discussing the loss of someone they didn't know, you might show them a photograph and say something like, "Do you know who this is?" or "This is your brother, he died before you were born. Do you know what it means when someone dies?"

Tip #2: Be honest and straightforward

Parents want to protect their children from pain and harm, this goes without saying. But sometimes this instinct can lead caring adults astray. Being honest with children about something as frightening and upsetting as death may feel callous and damaging, but it's actually really important to be straightforward and truthful.

Put yourself in their shoes. If you are curious, worried, or scared about something unknown, are you able to take your mind off of it? How do you feel when you can tell someone is withholding something from you, being evasive, or outright refusing to answer your questions? Do you stop wondering? I expect your answer to these questions is - "No!" You'd either worry, wonder, ruminate, or draw your own (potentially incorrect) conclusions. Don't assume that when your child is put in this same position they won't do the same.

As an adult caregiver, children look to you to clarify their understanding of what's happened. Confusion and lack of information will only leave the child guessing. Although the simple truth may be heartbreaking, the fantasy of the unknown can be far more frightening to a child.

What you say will depend on your situation, but generally speaking try to match the child's developmental level. Don't feel as though you have to tell them everything all at once and don't give them more information than they can handle; hopefully, they will feel comfortable asking you questions now and in the future. With small children, phrases like the following may be appropriate.

"He is dead and will not be alive again." "Her body stopped working" "He isn't suffering and he can no longer feel anything"
"She took too much to a drug," in the instance of overdose. (For information on talking to a child about a drug-related death, read this article)

"Suicide is when someone makes their body stop working," in the instance of suicide. (For information on talking to a child about a suicide death, read this article)

After explaining new concepts or providing them new information, assess their understanding of what you've said to them and invite questions.

Tip # 3: Don't use euphemism!

People commonly use euphemism to replace words or phrases that make them uncomfortable. Many adults aren't comfortable talking about death, even amongst other adults. This is likely why there are approximately 200 euphemism related to concepts around death and dying. But up until a certain age, kids are very concrete in their thinking. Thanks to their literal nature, euphemisms like the following only cause more confusion:

"She's in a better place" = She went somewhere great

"She's left us" = She left/abandoned us and she may or may not return

"She's sleeping" = She's asleep and she will wake up.

"She went to sleep forever" = There's a chance that I could go to sleep and never wake up

1She passed away" = Not sure what that means

"She is resting in peace" = She's sleeping somewhere peacefully

I know you might feel tempted to use euphemism when explaining death to children, but don't. If you want to see some examples of how kids interpret euphemism, check out this article in which we actually asked children what some of the different death related euphemisms mean.

Tip #4: Validate their emotions

Remember that a wide range of emotions is normal in grief, so don't be surprised if the child seems to show little emotion or if they show an emotion like anger, worry, or fear. Normalize and validate their emotions, whatever they may be.

Tip #5: It's okay to share your own emotions

Generally speaking, being open about your own grief will provide your child with reassurances that he or she is not alone and that it is acceptable to feel all types of emotions in response to loss. Be willing to acknowledge your painful feelings and be open to discussing the hard parts. By maintaining an authentic, warm, and supportive dialogue, you are setting the stage to be able to discuss grief as it changes and shifts in the days, weeks, and years to come.

That said, as hard as initial conversations may be with your child, try to stay calm and in control. If you're worried about keeping collected, you may want to set aside some time before or after the conversation to process your own emotions. You may also want to consider having another trusted adult with you, either for moral support or to help you guide the conversation.

Tip #6: Don't judge

You don't need us to tell you this, but kids say the darnedest things. Sometimes the things they say will surprise you because their comments are astute and observant, cut right to the quick, or the words they choose are kind of silly. If a child says something that surprises you in the context of a conversation about death, try not to make them feel embarrassed, wrong, or ashamed.

Some examples of things that may take adults by surprise when speaking to a child about death include:

If the child has specific curiosities about the physical aspects of death

If the child seems like they don't care

If the child's response seems selfish or self-centered

If the child says something matter-of-fact or direct

If the child has existential questions or observations about the meaning of life and death

If the child makes angry, blaming statements

Remember, there's a wide range of normal responses and children will grieve little-by-little over time. Do your best to respond to their questions and comments in a calm, validating, and non-judgmental way.

Tip #7: Reassure, reassure, reassure

The death of a loved one is scary. Intense emotions are scary. Change is scary. As your child attempts to cope with everything that has happened, and as they attempt to make meaning of the death, they will likely benefit from a lot of reassurance. Hopefully, your child will make their worries known, but you may feel it's appropriate to reassure them about some of the following:

The death was not their fault: Grief has a funny way of making people, child and adult alike, feel guilty for all sorts of things. Some reasons why a child might feel responsible for their loved one's death include:

Magical thinking. This is when a child believes that their negative thoughts and wishes somehow contributed to their loved one's death.

If the person died from suicide, the child might have thoughts that if the person had loved them more they wouldn't have chosen to die, or if they had been a better child the person might have been happier.

If the child was in some way involved in the event that led to the death, they may feel responsible for the circumstances that led to the death or feel that they failed to respond in a way that prevented the death.

Make sure the child knows that the death was not their fault and that the death was not something they could have prevented.

The death was not their loved one's choice: Reassure the child that the death was not a deliberate choice and the person did not want to leave or abandon the child. In certain circumstances, like suicide, it may be helpful to discuss mental illness or to explain that " their brain wasn't working properly" and that this is why they killed themselves, not because they didn't love their family or because they didn't care about them.

They are safe and their family is safe: Make sure the child knows that they are safe and that they will not die. Make sure they also know that their family is safe and that their family members will not die anytime soon. I know we can't be sure of this, but reassure the child anyways (unless you have a compelling reason to believe this isn't true).

Sicknesses like the flu or a cold do not lead to death: If your loved one died of an illness like cancer, make sure the child knows that the type of illness their loved one had is different than the types of sicknesses they experience like the flu or the common cold.

They will be taken care of: Make sure the child knows that they will always be taken care of, no matter what happens. It may be helpful to brainstorm all the caring adults in their life who they can count on.

You will be honest with them and keep them informed: Death leads to change, it's often unavoidable. Reassure your child that you will get through things as a family, that you will make decisions as a family whenever possible, and that you will talk to them about changes before they happen.

Tip #8: Prepare them for customary rituals like funerals and memorial services

Talk to your child about funeral/memorial services before they attend them. There are three important things to cover in this conversation:

1. Include them in the planning to the extent possible. Ask them if there are things they would like to incorporate into the event or if there are special ways that they would like to honor their loved one.

2. Talk to them about what to expect before, during, and after the services, burial, etc. This may include discussions about things like the person's body, burial, cremation, what types of emotions they may witness, what types of emotions they expect to feel, etc.

3. Discuss their concerns and worries. Are there any parts of these rituals that worry them? Brainstorm ways for them to cope in the moment. For example, a small child might like to bring a favorite stuffed animal to hold or might want to choose a trusted adult to be their buddy for the day. Older kids might want help identifying a room or place where they can go to take a break if necessary.

Tip # 9: If you think it's necessary, help them to decide what they will say and/or share if people ask them about their loved one's death.

Help them to find their own language and way of responding to the sympathies and/or questions of others. Reassure them that it's okay to keep things private if they like

Tip # 10: Help them identify other support people who they feel comfortable talking with
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Talking to Kids About Death and Grief: 10 Comprehensive Tips - Whats your Grief

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If you came here looking for a script for talking to your child about death and grief, I'm sorry, we can't give you one. Your child is an individual and your situation is unique, so what you say and do will depend on a number of different factors. [...]

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The Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative (GSSI) seeks to better equip teachers to care for grieving students by introducing GrievingStudents.org and other valuable grief resources to local schools.
For questions regarding the program, contact nylfoundation@newyorklife.com.
A Grief-Sensitive School is an accredited K-12 public or private institution that commits to help provide a supportive environment for students who have experienced the death of a loved one.

When it comes to grief support at school, many teachers feel under-prepared to help: a recent study revealed that only 7% of classroom teachers have received any amount of bereavement training and 92% of them said childhood grief was a serious problem that deserved more attention from schools. Participating in the Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative helps your school personnel to address this training gap and signals to students, parents, and community members alike that your school is strongly committed to supporting its grieving students and their families.

We recognize that schools have a critical role to play in delivering support to their grieving students. To be part of this initiative, we ask that you pledge to foster a more supportive environment for those who are grieving in your school community by:

Increasing awareness of the issue of grief at school

Sharing information with your school community about GrievingStudents.org

Reviewing relevant school policies and procedures

Providing specific professional learning opportunities

Additionally, the Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative offers presentations to school staff on key bereavement resources, led by New York Life ambassadors (a minimum of 5 school personnel must attend); schools that commit to become more grief-sensitive following the presentation are also eligible to receive a $500 grant to help enhance their ability to offer grief support and resources.

If you are interested in receiving an in-person Grief-Sensitive Schools presentation and grant from New York Life, please click the button below. If an ambassador is available in your area, New York Life will follow up with you to schedule a presentation.

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New York Life's Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative - Coalition to Support Grieving Students

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The Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative (GSSI) seeks to better equip teachers to care for grieving students by introducing GrievingStudents.org and other valuable grief resources to local schools. For questions regarding the program, contact nylfoundation@newyorklife.com. A Grief-Sensitive School is an accredited K-12 public or private institution that commits to help provide a supportive environment for students who have experienced the death of a loved one.

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Difficult Times & Tough Talks

Coping With Incarceration

With adults’ love and support, kids can cope with the incarceration of a loved one.

Dealing With Divorce

Separation or divorce mean lots of changes, but love, comfort, and care can help children adjust and cope.

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Families resettling in the U.S. are coping with big changes and have already faced so many challenges. Here are resources to help them heal and thrive.

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A parent’s injuries can affect routines and responsibilities, but family teamwork can help you face these changes and thrive during them.

Family Homelessness

Losing one’s home brings enormous challenges. And yet families are incredibly strong and determined to create a better future.

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As an adult involved in foster care, you have an enormous job: building and rebuilding family structures and children’s sense of safety.

Handling Emergencies

Your family can prepare for emergencies together in easy ways.

Health Emergencies

A health emergency brings many changes and uncertainty for young children and families. But there are things we can do to face each day with optimism.

Helping Kids Grieve

Coping with the loss of a loved one brings enormous challenges. With love and support, children can start to heal.

Offering Comfort

Little ones need lots of help from caring adults to grow and thrive. Comforting, nurturing touch is actually necessary for healthy brain development!

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Grown-ups hold the power to help lessen the effects of traumatic experiences.

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When children are exposed to traumatic events within their own neighborhoods, communities, or across the world, you can help them feel safer and more secure…and build hope for a more peaceful, kinder future.

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Use these resources to turn everyday moments into brain-building adventures.

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Explore Topics - Sesame Street in Communities

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Your care and support can make a huge difference in the life of a young child. Sesame Street is here for you with activities and tips for the challenges and joys along the way.

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One out of every two marriages today ends in divorce and many divorcing families include children.

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Marriage and divorce are both common experiences.

Healthy marriages are good for couples' mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems.

Divorce may influence well-being, with many individuals experiencing depression, loneliness and isolation, self-esteem difficulties, or other psychological distress.

Adapted from the Encyclopedia of Psychology and APA Dictionary of Psychology

Research on marriage and divorce

Getting help

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Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. Healthy marriages are good for couples' mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems. Divorce may influence well-being, with many individuals experiencing depression, loneliness and isolation, self-esteem difficulties, or other psychological distress.

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•	Grief Support Professionals - Chicago Area

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•	Grief Support Professionals - Chicago Area

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When grief hits a family, children often become the focus - how to talk to them about death, how to recognize if they are grieving 'normally', how to create open communication and dialogue. etc. When we ask adults what they need in their grief often their first response is what they need for their children. We have number of articles on WYG offering this type of support. We have posts on the impact of age on understanding , on grief journals and workbooks for kid s, on the risks of using euphemisms , on art activities for grieving kids , on art activities for grieving kids and adults , on talking to kids about suicide , an activity book for kids after a suicide , on holiday activities for kid s, and more holiday activities for kids. We also have an article reminding you why it is important to take care of yourself in order to better care for the children in your life. But one thing that we don't have is a list of kids books about death and grief, despite the fact that we get asked about this fairly often.

We have talked about journal, activity and workbooks for kids , but sometimes a story is the best way to open a dialogue. Often reading a story can help kids know they are not alone and normalize what they are experiencing. It can offer a safe way to open a dialogue with children about death and grief, in groups, as a family, or one-on-one. So today, here it is! We have a list of 64 children's books about grief. As with all of our '64 things' lists, we know this is not an exhaustive list. Please add your favorites in the comments. The books are primarily for the 10 and under crowd but, rest assured, a list of 64 Young Adult novels about grief is on the horizon.

1. Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children (kids 5+)

2. The Invisible String (kids 3+)

3. Everett Anderson's Goodbye (Reading Rainbow) (kids 5-8)

4. The Tenth Good Thing About Barney (kids 6-9)

5. I'll Always Love You (kids 3-7)

6. When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death (Dino Life Guides for Families) (kids 4-8)

7. I Miss You: A First Look at Death (First Look at Books) (kids 4+)

8. The Saddest Time (kids 6-9)

9. Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss (kids 8+)

10. The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages (kids 4+)

11. Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying (kids 4+)

12. Where Are You? A Child's Book About Loss (kids 4-8)

13. Samantha Jane's Missing Smile: A Story About Coping With the Loss of a Parent (kids 5+)

14. The Scar (kids5-9)

15. A Terrible Thing Happened (kids 4+)

16. The Elephant in the Room: A Childrens Book for Grief and Loss (kids 4+)

17. The Boy Who Didn't Want to Be Sad (kids 4+)

18. I Wish I Could Hold Your Hand...: A Child's Guide to Grief and Loss (Little Imp Books) (kids 9+)

19. Water Bugs and Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children (kids 4+)

20. When Your Grandparent Dies: A Child's Guide to Good Grief (Elf-Help Books for Kids) (kids 5+)

21. Someone I Love Died (kids 4-8)

22. What Happened When Grandma Died? (kids 4+)

23. Always and Forever (kids 4+)

24. Badger's Parting Gifts (kids 4-8)

25. Ghost Wings (kids 5+)

26. Finding Grandpa Everywhere: A Young Child Discovers Memories of a Grandparent (kids 7+)

27. The Grandpa Tree (kids 3+)

28. Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss (Elf-Help Books for Kids) (kids 6+)

29. Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs (Picture Puffins) (kids 4-8)

30. Daddy, Up and Down: Sisters Grieve the Loss of Their Daddy (kids 4-8)

31. Saying Goodbye to Daddy (kids 4+)

32. The Angel with the Golden Glow: A Family's Journey Through Loss and Healing (kids 4+)

33. Where's Jess: For Children Who Have a Brother or Sister Die (kids 3-6)

34. A Taste of Blackberries (kids 8-12)

35. Bridge to Terabithia (kids 8-12)

36. My Grandson Lew (kids 4-6)

37. Aarvy Aardvark Finds Hope: A Read Aloud Story for People of All Ages About Loving and Losing, Friendship and Hope (as the title says, people of all ages!)

38. The Empty Place: A Child's Guide Through Grief (Let's Talk) (kids 5-10)

39. Dancing on the Moon (kids 3+)

40. Lost and Found: Remembering a Sister (kids 6+)

41. Stacy Had a Little Sister (A Concept Book) (kids 4+)

42. Ragtail Remembers: A Story That Helps Children Understand Feelings of Grief (kids 4+)

43. Goodbye Mousie (kids 4-8)

44. Remembering Crystal (kids 3+)

45. Rudi's Pond (kids 5-8)

46. The Memory String (kids 4-8)

47. Sammy in the Sky (kids 4-8)

48. Where Do People Go When They Die? (kids 3-8)

49. Chester Raccoon and the Acorn Full of Memories (kids 3-8)

50. Her Mother's Face (kids 4-8)

51. Remembering Mama (kids 4+)

52. Old Pig (Picture Puffin) (kids 3-8)

53. Pearl's Marigolds for Grandpa (kids 3-7)

54. Saying Goodbye to Lulu (kids 3-6)

55. The Mountains of Tibet (kids 7+)

56. Rabbityness (kids 3-7)

57. I Wish I Could Hold Your Hand...: A Child's Guide to Grief and Loss (Little Imp Books) (kids 9+)

58. Can You Hear Me Smiling?: A Child Grieves a Sister (kids 8+)

59. The Copper Tree (kids 5-8)

60. Everybody Feels Sad (kids 4+)

61. Grief is Like a Snowflake (kids 4+)

62. My Baby Big Sister: A Book for Children Born Subsequent to a Pregnancy Loss (kids 4-8)

63. Ladder to the Moon (kids 4-8)

64. Missing Mommy: A Book About Bereavement (kids 3-8).
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64 Children's Books About Death and Grief - Whats your Grief

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When grief hits a family, children often become the focus - how to talk to them about death, how to recognize if they are grieving 'normally', how to create open communication and dialogue. etc. When we ask adults what they need in their grief often their first response [...]

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Resources

Home > Guide: After a Loved One Dies

After a Loved One Dies – Parent Booklet

This guide reviews how children grieve and how parents and other caring adults can help them better understand and adjust to a death. The information this guide provides can help parents and adults who are part of the lives of children who have experienced a loss know what to expect and how to help. Download the booklet in one of the available languages. PDF format.

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Guide: After a Loved One Dies | National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

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The NCSCB is dedicated to helping schools support their students through crisis and loss.

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I spent a lot of time with my grandmother when I was growing up. When I was young, before I started school, my grandmother watched me while my parents worked. I have many fond memories of walking the alleys by her house to the playground, helping her stuff grape leaves and roll cookies, playing the piano, painting our nails together, watching All My Children, and eating her delicious lentil soup.

But let me back up a bit. Long long before that, when my mother was just a twinkle in her father's eye, my grandparents emigrated to the United States from Greece. They did what most good Greeks did: they opened a restaurant and they had children. But life did what life does sometimes - it took my grandfather way too soon, leaving my grandmother a widow with two elementary-school aged children. My grandmother ran the restaurant on her own, raising her two children in an apartment upstairs. A vision of the American Dream, she sent her children off to college, one to the Ivy League, and one at the top of her class through college and pharmacy school. In her retirement my grandmother moved to Baltimore. She stayed busy as a church volunteer and as a babysitter to her grandchildren. In her eighties she was still spending twelve hour days at the Greek Festival making loukoumades and selling pastries.

In her late eighties my grandmother had a stroke. The years that followed brought dementia that slowly took away the fiercely independent woman we knew. She was a version of my grandmother, a woman who was still kind, who still prayed, and who still loved having her nails painted. But this version of my grandmother spoke less and less, came in and out of awareness, had to be reminded who we were, and could no longer care for herself.

When my grandmother died just shy of her 95 th birthday in 2004 I am not sure I had ever heard the words 'anticipatory grief'. And yet I remember so well thinking that we had been saying goodbye over the past six years, as she had slowly slipped away. Though she had still been with us in body, we had been slowly mourning the loss of her personality, her independence, her memory, and her awareness for years. Remembering who she had been, it was like we had been watching her fade away.

Anticipatory Grief: the nitty gritty

Here is the thing about grief - though we think of it as something that happens after a death, it often begins long before death arrives. It can start as soon as we become aware that death is a likelihood. Once death is on the horizon, even just as a possibility, it is natural that we begin to grieve.

Though this is different than the grief that follows a death, anticipatory grief can carry many of the symptoms of regular grief - sadness, anger, isolation, forgetfulness, and depression. These complicated emotions are often coupled with the exhaustion that comes with being a caregiver or the stress of being left alone when someone goes to war or is battling addiction. We are aware of the looming death and accepting it will come, which can bring an overwhelming anxiety and dread. More than that, in advance of a death we grieve the loss of person's abilities and independence, their loss of cognition, a loss of hope, loss of future dreams, loss of stability and security, loss of their identity and our own, and countless other losses. This grief is not just about accepting the future death, but of the many losses already occurring as an illness progresses.

When we know a death is imminent our bodies are often in a state of hyper-alertness - we panic whenever the phone rings, an ambulance must be called, or when our loved one deteriorates. This can become mentally and physically exhausting. The same is true of watching a loved one suffer, which is almost always part of a prolonged illness. Caring for them as they suffer takes an emotional toll on us. These things (and others) can contribute to a sense of relief when the death eventually comes, and a guilt that can come with that relief. These feelings are common and totally normal when someone has experienced an anticipated death. And yet we feel guilty for this relief, thinking it diminishes our love for the person. It doesn't, of course, but this relief can be a confusing feeling. We sometimes need to consciously remind ourselves that the relief does not change the deep love we had for the person, rather it is a natural reaction to the illness.

There have been numerous studies showing that anticipatory grief can reduce the symptoms of grief after a death but, as always with grief, there are no rules. There will be times that anticipatory grief may reduce the intensity of grief following a loss, then there are many times that the grief following a death is not impacted at all. For a great review of the research on anticipatory grief (and understanding of why much of the data conflicts), see this article by Reynolds and Both a. What is important to keep in mind is that if you are grieving with less intensity or for shorter duration than other losses because of the anticipatory grief you experienced before the death, that is totally normal! On the flip side, if you do not feel your grief is diminished despite it being an anticipated death, that is totally normal too! Convenient, eh? There is no formula for how an anticipated loss will impact us because we all grieve differently.

Things to Remember When Dealing with Anticipatory Grief

1. Accept that anticipatory grief is normal. You are normal and feeling grief before a death is normal. You are allowed to feel this type of grief. Seriously. This is a common phenomenon that has been documented for nearly a century. You are not alone!

2. Acknowledge your losses. People may say annoying things like, "at least your mom is still here" that minimize what you are experiencing. Allow yourself to acknowledge that, though the person hasn't died, you are grieving. Consider journaling, art, photography, or other creative outlets to express the emotions around things like acceptance of the impending death, loss of hope, loss of the person you once knew, loss of the future you imagined, etc. Explore mindfulness (we have a post on that here) as a way of being present and aware of the many emotions your are coping with.

3. Connect with others. Anticipatory grief is common among caregivers, but unfortunately when all your time is consumed with caregiving you may feel totally alone and isolated. Seek out caregiver support groups, either in your area or online, so you can connect with others who understand the challenges you are facing, including anticipatory grief. There is an online anticipatory grief forum that is active here if you are looking for online support.

4. Remember that anticipatory grief doesn't mean you are giving up. As long as you are there for support, you are not giving up on a family member or friend. There comes a time where we often accept that an illness is terminal and that recovery is no longer a possibility. Though it is a reality, there can be a feeling of guilt that comes with that acceptance. Focus on what you are doing - still supporting, caring, loving, creating meaningful time together, etc. You are shifting your energy from hope for recovery to hope for meaningful, comfortable time together.

5. Reflect on the remaining time. Consider how you and your loved one will want to spend that time together. Though what we want may not always be possible, do your best to spend your remaining time together in a way you and your loved one find meaningful. If your loved one is open to it, you may want to discuss practical matters, like advance directives and funeral arrangements to ensure that you are able to honor their wishes (rather than being stuck having to guess what they would have wanted).

6. Communicate. Just like we all grieve differently, anticipatory grief is different for everyone. Expect that everyone in your family may be experiencing and coping with anticipatory grief in different ways. Keeping the lines of communication open can help everyone better understand one another. If you are planning for the remaining time to be meaningful and comfortable, make sure to include all the important family members and friends in those discussions.

7. Take care of yourself. I know, vague and way easier said than done!! But it is true. Check out our posts on self-care (for normal people), yoga, and meditation for some ideas of ways to take care of yourself. Remember the old cliché, you can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself.

8. Take advantage of your support system. Caregiving and anticipatory grief can be a long road. Do an assessment of your support systems so you know which people may be able to help you out (and who you may want to avoid!). We have a great support system superlative journaling activity to help you out with your assessment here.

9. Say yes to counseling! I know, there are still some of you out there who may think counseling is just for wackadoos. I am here to tell you that is just not true! Counseling is helpful for normal, everyday people who just need a place to process complicated emotions and have some you-time. So just say yes to counseling if you are feeling overwhelmed with the feelings of anticipatory grief. You can check out our post on finding a counselor here.

10. Relief is normal. In the case of anticipated loses there can be months, years, and even decades of caregiving that can be overwhelming and exhausting (though adjectives don't even seem like enough!). When someone dies there can be a sense of relief that is completely normal, but that can also create feelings of guilt. Remember that feeling relief after an anticipated death does not mean you loved the person any less. It is a normal reaction after a stressful and overwhelming time in your life.

11. Don't assume. Just because your loss was an anticipated loss, do not assume this will either speed up or slow down your grief after the death. We have said it before and we will say it again: we all grieve differently.

Have you had experience with anticipatory grief? Leave a comment - we are all a little better when we can learn from one another.

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Grieving Before A Death: Understanding Anticipatory Grief

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I spent a lot of time with my grandmother when I was growing up. When I was young, before I started school, my grandmother watched me while my parents worked. I have many fond memories of walking the alleys by her house to the playground, helping her stuff [...]

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Jenny Lisk is an award-winning author and widowed mom who is dedicated to helping widowed parents increase their family’s well-being. Her book, Future Widow, and her show, The Widowed Parent Podcast, bring much-needed resources to widowed parents, helping them feel less lost and alone.

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Grief Out Loud- A Podcast by Dougy Center

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Grief Out Loud- A Podcast by Dougy Center

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Grief Out Loud Podcast | Listen & Subscribe | Dougy Center

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Produced by Dougy Center, we open up the often avoided conversation of grief. Hear personal stories, get tips, and gain insights from bereavement professionals.

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Supporting Preschoolers Who Are Grieving

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Supporting Preschoolers Who Are Grieving

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Explaining death to a young child and supporting them in their grief can feel overwhelming and intimidating. The resources below, created for youngest grievers are free for all who need them - please use and share them freely.

These resources were made possible through a partnership between Dougy Center and KinderCare Education . The NACG is supporting this project in distributing to our community. We are grateful to these two partners for sharing the work for the benefit of all.

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Explaining death to a young child and supporting them in their grief can feel overwhelming and intimidating. The resources below, created for youngest grievers are free for all who need them - please use and share them freely. These resources were made possible through a partnership between Dougy Center and KinderCare Education .

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we're talking about teenage grief. read stories written by grieving teens and share your own.

read

articles

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Teenage Grief Sucks | Teens Talking About Grief

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Teenage Grief Sucks is a teen-run website that’s opening up conversations about grief. Read stories written by teens and share your own.

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About Us

The Coalition to Support Grieving Students is a unique collaboration of the leading professional organizations representing classroom teachers (including teachers, paraprofessionals, and other instructional staff), principals, assistant principals, superintendents, school board members, and central office staff, student support personnel (including school counselors, school nurses, school psychologists, school social workers, and other student support personnel), and other school professionals who have come together with a common conviction: grieving students need the support and care of the school community.

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Home Page - Coalition to Support Grieving Students

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The Coalition to Support Grieving Students is a unique collaboration of the leading professional organizations representing classroom teachers (including teachers, paraprofessionals, and other instructional staff), principals, assistant principals, superintendents, school board members, and central office staff, student support personnel (including school counselors, school nurses, school psychologists, school social workers, and other student support personnel), and other school professionals who have come together with a common conviction: grieving students need the support and care of the school community.

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https://grievingstudents.org/grief-sensitive-schools-initiative-faq/

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Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative: Frequently Asked Questions - Coalition to Support Grieving Students

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Q: If a school has an elementary, middle and high school in one location, how many $500 grants are they eligible for? A: If they are separate

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Dougy Center

The National Grief Center for Children & Families

Dougy Center provides support in a safe place where children, teens, young adults, and families who are grieving can share their experiences before and after a death. We provide support and training locally, nationally, and internationally to individuals and organizations seeking to assist children in grief.

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KinderCare Partnership for the Youngest Grievers | Dougy Center

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Dougy Center partnered with KinderCare to create & distribute educational grief resources for children from birth through preschool age.

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Hear from mother and fathers currently in support groups for widowed parents, and see if there are groups available in your area.

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Someone you love is grieving. Do you know what to do, what to say, and how to help? Or do you say "I'm so sorry", pick up what everyone else does, and perpetuate the mistakes? Let this book be your personal, informative, enlightening guide. Learn what to ask, what to say, how to write a condolence card, what books to recommend, concrete actions to take, and the best ways to be truly helpful and supportive to those you care about, especially when they go through the toughest times of their lives. Make a difference when it counts the most.

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A Friend Indeed: Help Those You Love When They Grieve.

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A Friend Indeed: Help Those You Love When They Grieve. [Florian, Amy, Florian, Ken] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. A Friend Indeed: Help Those You Love When They Grieve.

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Analyses exploring childhood bereavement by race and ethnicity reveal significant differences in prevalence based on race and ethnicity.

These data illuminate disproportionate incidences of childhood bereavement and underscore the need for critical and timely grief supports for children.

Explore our CBEM Race and Ethnicity reports and resources.

Judi’s House/JAG Institute partnered with the New York Life Foundation to help support grieving children and families by creating the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model.

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.

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CBEM by Race and Ethnicity - Judi’s House

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Analyses exploring childhood bereavement by race and ethnicity reveal significant differences in prevalence based on race and ethnicity. These data illuminate disproportionate incidences of childhood bereavement and underscore the need for critical and timely grief supports for children. Explore our…

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Analyses exploring childhood bereavement by race and ethnicity reveal significant differences in prevalence based on race and ethnicity.

These data illuminate disproportionate incidences of childhood bereavement and underscore the need for critical and timely grief supports for children.

Explore our CBEM Race and Ethnicity reports and resources.

Judi’s House/JAG Institute partnered with the New York Life Foundation to help support grieving children and families by creating the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model.

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.

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CBEM by Race and Ethnicity - Judi’s House

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Analyses exploring childhood bereavement by race and ethnicity reveal significant differences in prevalence based on race and ethnicity. These data illuminate disproportionate incidences of childhood bereavement and underscore the need for critical and timely grief supports for children. Explore our…

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About Us

The Coalition to Support Grieving Students is a unique collaboration of the leading professional organizations representing classroom teachers (including teachers, paraprofessionals, and other instructional staff), principals, assistant principals, superintendents, school board members, and central office staff, student support personnel (including school counselors, school nurses, school psychologists, school social workers, and other student support personnel), and other school professionals who have come together with a common conviction: grieving students need the support and care of the school community.

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Home Page - Coalition to Support Grieving Students

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The Coalition to Support Grieving Students is a unique collaboration of the leading professional organizations representing classroom teachers (including teachers, paraprofessionals, and other instructional staff), principals, assistant principals, superintendents, school board members, and central office staff, student support personnel (including school counselors, school nurses, school psychologists, school social workers, and other student support personnel), and other school professionals who have come together with a common conviction: grieving students need the support and care of the school community.

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National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

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National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

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National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

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The Coalition to Support
Grieving Students

We lead a collaboration of national
organizations, representing the full range of
school professionals, that has developed
free training materials to help empower
schools to support grieving students.

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National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

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The NCSCB is dedicated to helping schools support their students through crisis and loss.

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Home - Center for Loss & Life Transition

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Led by death educator and grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt, we are an organization dedicated to helping people who are grieving and those who care for them. Perhaps someone you love has died, or you want to help a grieving friend or family member. Or maybe you are a professional or volunteer grief c…

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National Center for School Crisis & Bereavement

# data[].attributes.subject
National Center for School Crisis & Bereavement

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.provider_name
National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The Coalition to Support
Grieving Students

We lead a collaboration of national
organizations, representing the full range of
school professionals, that has developed
free training materials to help empower
schools to support grieving students.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The NCSCB is dedicated to helping schools support their students through crisis and loss.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
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Click on a topic for tons of resources that help kids (and parents!) with what matters most in young lives: health and wellness, social-emotional skills, and school readiness. All are critical to children’s healthy development…and together they build the foundation for a happy, healthy life.

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Healthy routines help the whole family thrive.

You Matter Most

You are the most important factor in your child’s growth and development.

ABC’s & 123’s

Building Language Skills

Talking thoughtfully with kids—and listening carefully to them—helps lay the foundation for school success!

Developing Math Skills

Math is all around us—and both kids and grown-ups use it every day.

Financial Education

Help kids understand money and learn to make good financial decisions.

Learning Through Art

Creating art gives children an opportunity to express themselves. Art can help bring science, math, and literacy concepts to life, and help kids develop important self-regulation skills.

Reading & Writing

Read books and share stories with children every day!

School Readiness

Use these resources to turn everyday moments into brain-building adventures.

Science

Kids learn science by exploring the world around them. That’s why everyday moments are perfect opportunities to build science skills.

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Explore Topics - Sesame Street in Communities

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Your care and support can make a huge difference in the life of a young child. Sesame Street is here for you with activities and tips for the challenges and joys along the way.

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Grief Education & Training

Dougy Center offers professionals training, online courses, and workshops on helping children, teens, and families who are grieving in hospitals, schools, hospices, youth service organizations, and mental health agencies.

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Grief Support for Teachers & Staff | Dougy Center

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Grief can reach the classroom. Teachers and staff can learn how to support a student or colleague who is grieving during or after school.

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Grief Resources (English & Spanish) from New York Life

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Grief Resources (English & Spanish) from New York Life

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COVID-19 bereavement resources:

Power of Parenting: addressing fears and feelings from prior losses.
Resources and responses for families who may be experiencing heightened feelings from a prior loss due to the pandemic.

Ask the expert: Living through COVID-19.
A fireside chat about communicating with children regarding the coronavirus between Heather Nesle, president of the New York Life Foundation and Donna Gaffney a consultant to the New York Life Foundation.

Care-giving amidst coronavirus: How do we support our children during a pandemic?
Q&A between Heather Nesle, president of the New York Life Foundation and Dr. Julie Kaplow, founder of the SAMHSA-funded Trauma and Grief. Center.

COVID-19 Resources for School Communities
Developed by the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement in partnership with the Coalition to Support Grieving Students, which was founded by The New York Life Foundation among others.
Coping with Change & Loss
In support of children, teens, & families, this booklet was developed by one of the Foundation's national partners, the National Alliance for Grieving Children. ( English version) ( Spanish version)

Other COVID related content:

How to monitor the media diet our families will consume in the weeks to come.

Twelve tips

Coping with the coronavirus pandemic from one of the Foundation's partners, Tom Demaria of the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement.

Support and resources

How to support bereaved children over the holidays

National Alliance for Grieving Children: Hero Toolkit in support of Grieving Children and Teens

This free toolkit developed for Children, teens and their support network, provides activities and conversations designed to empower each of us to become everyday 'heroes'.

After a Loved One Dies - How Children Grieve and Adults Can Support Them
Click here for the Spanish version
This booklet explains how children grieve and how parents and other caring adults can help them understand death better. It can also help parents and adults who are part of the lives of children who have experienced a loss know what to expect and how to help.

National organizations:

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Bereavement Resources | New York Life Foundation

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Discover all of the bereavement resources that New York Life provides to help anyone grieving get through difficult times.

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After a death occurs, different cultures follow a range of traditions, rituals, and practices that are informed by different cultural beliefs, norms, and expectations, which together help guide the bereaved individual's behaviors. However, whatever a family's cultural traditions and practices, a general sensitivity to the unique needs of children and families should be the driving consideration for support. Review this module to consider the role of cultural considerations as it applies to supporting children and families in the aftermath of a death.

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Cultural Sensitivity - Coalition to Support Grieving Students

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After a death occurs, different cultures follow a range of traditions, rituals, and practices that are informed by different cultural beliefs, norms, and expectations, which together help guide the bereaved individual's behaviors. However, whatever a family's cultural traditions and practices, a general sensitivity to the unique needs of children and families should be the driving consideration for support.

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When Someone Dies: Activity Cards for Young Children is a deck of activities to support caregivers and preschoolers in talking about death and dying. Contained within the cards are activities for young children designed to help them better express, understand, and cope with their grief. Each page also offers guidance about how adults can connect with their child on the very difficult subjects of death, dying, and bereavement.

Each activity card has both a visual prompt and detailed instructions for the caregiver. The deck also includes tips for the caregiver on how to connect with their child on the very difficult subjects of death, dying, and bereavement.

Individual Orders: Individual card decks ($16.99) will be available through Amazon soon.

Bulk Orders can be placed in multiples of 20 decks. The bulk order form is available Bulk Orders: We are excited we are able to offer this incredible resource at a bulk rate of $12.99 per card deck (includes shipping for continental US and handling). Proceeds go to support the charitable purposes of the National Alliance for Children's Grief. It is our hope that organizations and individuals will invest in this project and make this resource available to children and their families. here.

These cards were created by members of the NACG and this project honors the children who are grieving.The experience of professionals working with them inspired the creation of these cards in the hopes that no child will ever feel alone in their grief.

They were illustrated by Sandie Sonke. Sandie is also a Southern California native with a degree in studio art from California State University Fullerton. She is a fan of coffee and cooking, and among the many hats she wears, her favorite roles are being a mom of two. Sandie has published several children's books, and you can also find more of her freelance illustration work at www.sandiesonkeillustration.com.

Thank you to the following individuals who contributed ideas and/or activities for these cards:

Cammy Adler-Roth, LICSW, CCLS

Michelle Balcer, MT-BC

Lori Bokone, M.Ed., LPC

Traci Brown

Adam W. Carter, PhD, LCPC, NCC, CCMHC, ACS, TF

Monica Delaney, LPC, ATR-BC

Deirdra Flavin, MSc

Stephanie Gunner, MA, LPC

Jennifer Harmon

Stephanie Heitkemper, MA MFT, LPC, RPT, FT

Vicki Jay

Sat Kaur Khalsa, MSW

Christine Lambright, MA, MAAT, LMHC

Breanna Linn

Melody Logan

Megan Lopez, MSW, LMSW

Melissa Lunardini, MA, MBA, FT

Amy Marlo, LCSW

Katie McGrail, LMHC, BC-DMT

Patrick McKelvey, MS, LPC, NCC

Daniel Partridge, LCSW

Lauren Raney, LCPC, ATR

Jamie Schwellenbach

Jenny Simmonds

Melanie Szigethy

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NACG's Activity Cards for Young Children

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When Someone Dies: Activity Cards for Young Children is a deck of activities to support caregivers and preschoolers in talking about death and dying. Contained within the cards are activities for young children designed to help them better express, understand, and cope with their grief.

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For many viewers, the televised funeral of Whitney Houston was a clear reminder of the cultural differences in the ways we handle death. The open emotionality offered a sharp contrast to the stoic reactions often found in white Protestant funerals. The celebratory quality with strong themes of a homecoming offered a contrast to the staid sadness of many funerals.

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With the right kind of support, children are fully capable of successfully navigating the challenges of bereavement and growing into healthy adults. As a matter of fact, research has found that healthy children are the product of a positive relationship with their parent or caregiver, especially where there is care and warmth, modeling of healthy coping behaviors, honest and open communication, and clearly established expectations for behavior in the home.

How do I tell my child that someone has died?

Telling a child that their father or mother, sister or brother has died ranks among the most difficult tasks a parent will encounter. There is no "one size fits all" in terms of what to say, but there are a few general principles that may help. The explanation you offer your children will vary depending on the circumstances of the family member's death; was there an acute or long term illness, or did the death occur suddenly and without warning?

In either case, it is important to talk to your children as soon as possible after the death. Start simply and honestly, and preferably in person, by saying something like, "I have some sad news to share with you. Today your Dad was in a car accident. The ambulance took him to the hospital but he was hurt too badly and he died." First and foremost, be honest and avoid any temptation to alter the truth. If there are questions you can't answer, say, "I don't know, but I can try to find out."

You may want to wait and see what questions your children have before giving more information than they can handle at one time. It's also helpful to reassure them that, "this is hard, but we will get through it together."

Contributed by: Staff at the Dougy Center

What do I tell my child if their person died from suicide?

When talking with your child, it is important to take into consideration your child's age. Younger children often process information in bite size pieces. Older children and teens often have complex questions and might want a lot of information.

When deciding how much to tell your child, follow their lead based on the questions that you're being asked. Answering children's questions honestly is important. So is explaining suicide in terms that they can understand. For example, "Your mom died of suicide." Suicide means that a person caused their own death. As a parent, you might be hesitant to say these words, but children often overhear the word suicide and might be confused by what it means.

By having this open conversation, you are allowing your child the opportunity to ask questions and have concerns addressed. Children will often ask "why." It is okay to say, "I don't know" if you don't know why.

If you have been struggling with how to have these conversations, or have not been fully honest up to this point, try not to be too hard on yourself. After all, you are also grappling with your own grief and sorrow. Going forward, the key is to create an environment where difficult, yet necessary conversations can take place.

Contributed by: Pamela Gabbay, M.A., FT

What do I tell my child if their person died from homicide?

As in most "grief talks" or "how do I break bad news" questions, timing is everything. In the case of a loss due to homicide, this is even more central to supporting your young person and family.

The very nature of a homicide involves urgency and quick responses by support and law enforcement personnel that may involve participating in an open investigation, or an "in the moment" or "on the scene" media presence that the family or child/teen may be involved in before any real talk or support can be given.

Supporters should be alert and very sensitive to whether or not the child/teen was a witness to any events preceding the death, or the actual event itself before attempting to talk with the child/teen. This awareness can help you garner responses and resources for addressing possible trauma or other related issues present.

Support offered should factor in any need a child or teen may have about what they have seen or heard about their person on TV or other social media.

Information shared should seek to clarify and to answer questions about what has happened in an age appropriate and truthful manner.

Again, an awareness of the immediate impact of the homicide on the child's/teen's daily functioning can be more helpful than thinking that questions or support involve a need to know "what happened".

By addressing these needs first in our support efforts we may experience a natural and healing unfolding of what else needs to happen to provide support for the family/young person.

Contributed by: Alesia Alexander Layne, MSW, LCSW, CT, Project KARMA

Should my child attend the funeral and or participate in the funeral?

While it is natural to want to "protect" children from the painful reality of death, end of life rituals are vital to a child's understanding of death and a key component of grief and mourning. Funerals are communal events, which we have been performing since the beginning of time, across continents and cultures. Allowing children the option to attend and participate in these significant end of life rituals is important.

Start by telling them what it will look like. Walk them through what they will see, who might come, what people might say, and how people might feel. Children are wonderfully inquisitive and they will be curious at the funeral.

Answer questions honestly and confess when you don't know the answer. Many parents find it helpful to have a point person during the funeral. Identify someone you and your child trust to be available if your child wants to take a break or stop participating in the ritual.

So, give kids the facts they need, normalize the experience, and let them know their choices. If they decide they do not want to participate that's okay, too. Just be sure they are making the decision with unbiased facts.

Contributed by: Joseph Primo, MDiv, Chief Executive Officer, Good Grief

What reactions might I expect to see with my grieving child?

Your child will grieve in his or her own unique way. How they grieve will depend on many different factors including their age, their stage of cognitive development; cultural influences; their relationship with the deceased and most importantly, how you are grieving.

Young children up to age 6 are subject to the kind of illogical or magical thinking typical of that developmental stage. They are also egocentric and may think that somehow they caused the death of their loved one. In addition, young children don't understand that death is irreversible and may be waiting for their loved one to return. Young children need reassurance, comfort and patience on your part as you respond their questions. School Aged children understand that death is permanent but still struggle to make sense of what happened. Respond to their questions in truthful, direct language and know that they are old enough to hear the answer if they've asked the question. Children of this age may lack the ability to verbalize their feelings and may behave in ways that cause additional problems. Children may have trouble tolerating strong emotions that are triggered by reminders of the deceased and will need to learn ways to cope with those feelings and thoughts. Parents and caregivers can provide reassurance and bereavement support programs can provide opportunities for children to connect with others who are also coping with a death in the family. Adolescents are also egocentric and struggle with guilt and regret when a loved one dies. They may attempt to cope with their grief in ways that can be impulsive or even unhealthy. In addition to keeping the lines of communication open with their teens, parents and caregivers can promote supportive relationships. Participation in grief support programs with similarly bereaved teens is also beneficial. Families can encourage teens to continue to pursue the goals they'd had before the death, including leaving home for college or work after high school graduation.

Contributed by: Lauren Schneider, LCSW, Clinical Director of Child and Adolescent Programs, OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center

How can I help my child transition back to school? When should they go back to school?

Going back to school after a death in the family can be an emotional experience for children, as well as parents and caregivers. Although there isn't a "right" time to go back to school, it is important to promote a return to routine activities and structure.

Caregivers should consider the child's level of comfort in being separated from supportive adults, and may want to have children attend half days or come to school for lunch breaks to help ease the transition.

It is important to let school personnel know about the death and share what has been helpful to the child.

The impact of a family death on a child's academic functioning can be unpredictable. Grief reactions can intensify at any time-including during a math test. In some situations, grief can influence a child's ability to make decisions, and impair memory and concentration, resulting in a decline in school performance. There can also be symptoms similar to ADHD, including disorganization, distractibility, hyperactivity and impulsivity.

Grieving students are likely to benefit from additional social, emotional and learning supports. Parents and caregivers may want to request that school personnel consider making additional accommodations for their children, such as opportunities for breaks or time with a counselor during the day, reduced workload or assignment extensions, assistance with organization and time management, or tutoring when needed. Families can advocate for their children by sharing the resources they have found helpful with school personnel.

Contributed by: Staff at Judi's House and JAG Institute for Grieving Children and Families

What are some of the challenges my child may face at school?

There are many common challenges kids who are grieving express having at school. Many children might be nervous to return to school because they are worried that others might ask them about their person's death.

Some report being distracted and even frustrated because they cannot concentrate on their work. Other children have reported that they are worried they might have a grief trigger and get upset or cry in front of their friends. Some children have also reported being bullied, or picked on by other children; and some simply share that people say things that they intend to be helpful or comforting, but that are actually hurtful.

Even with all of these potential challenges, though, school remains a safe, structured environment for children and can be helpful as they adapt to life without their person who died. It is helpful to be with friends, get out of the house, and take part in coordinated, fun activities.

Although returning to school can be challenging, parents/caregivers can be encouraging, schedule time to "check-in" about how school is going, and listen when their children need to express their frustrations.

Contributed by: Andy McNiel, M.A.

How do I parent a grieving child?

The experience of grief can be difficult for any child to comprehend and sharing their feelings can be a challenge. After a death, children are often left feeling frightened, angry, sad or confused. They may lack the ability to express themselves, or reach out for help, in a clear or mature way.

Often when a child misbehaves they are trying to communicate a need for help, or a strong feeling, and just lack the vocabulary and skills needed. Adults may see negative or "acting out" behavior as intentional, but sometimes it is just a reflection of the child's limitations and desire for support.

While no loss experience should excuse antisocial or dangerous behavior, we must not miss the messages in our child's actions.

Set clear limits for the negative behavior and focus on safety being absolute, while also offering healthier ways for the child to express himself or herself.

Be confident, but not overly critical, when commenting on misbehavior.

When a child doesn't want to "talk," parents and caregivers can still model healthy self-expression by sharing their own feelings.

When we help children find better ways to share their feelings and needs, negative behaviors are less likely to occur.

Contributed by: Peter Willig, LMFT, FT

Can my child be okay?

After the death of a loved one, parents and caregivers are often concerned about their children's ability to cope. Although the field of childhood grief is still learning about how children function after a death, current research indicates that bereaved youth usually go on to lead healthy and productive lives.

It is also natural to see changes in children's behaviors after a death, including signs of sadness, anger, and fear.

That being said, it is helpful to be aware of signs that can tell us when a child may be in need of more formalized, professional support. Some behaviors that might indicate the need for further support include:
(1) inability to keep up with daily tasks, such as regularly attending school, completing homework, personal hygiene;
(2) significant, ongoing signs of extreme sadness, sobbing, or social withdrawal;
(3) risky, harmful behaviors (drug use, reckless driving, stealing);
(4) inability to acknowledge the death, or appearing numb or totally disconnected from the reality of the death; or
(5) persistent fantasies about ending his/her life in order to be reunited with the deceased person in an afterlife.
Julie Kaplow, Ph.D., Director, Trauma and Grief Center for Youth, Texas Children's Hospital

Grieving is a natural human experience and serves a crucial purpose in our lives after we lose someone important to us. While the parent-child relationship and open communication are the most important tools to insure healthy adjustment after a family death, many parents have concerns about their children or feel the need for more support for their children or themselves.

Fortunately, there are resources for children and families that can promote a child's health after loss. Many communities have support programs for individuals who are grieving. Professionals and trained volunteers provide activities and opportunities for children to be with peers who are also coping with a death.

Many programs also provide parent education or group sessions that offer information, support and suggestions for parenting their bereaved children.

There are also child and family mental health centers based in health care facilities or universities where experts provide screening and counseling services for children who may be having a more difficult time after the loss. Families can identify resources by asking trusted health care providers for suggestions in their own communities.

Public libraries not only contain helpful books for children and parents but may also have listings of regional resources.

The National Alliance for Grieving Children is the most comprehensive source for information and services focusing on childhood bereavement. The NAGC website and its Childhood Bereavement Awareness Initiative website contain many resources for families including a listing of grief programs and centers across the United States.

Parents and children face new and unfamiliar challenges as they grieve a death in the family; it is a time to gather as many resources as possible.

Contributed by: Donna A. Gaffney, DNSc, PMHCNS-BC, FAAN

Find Support

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With the right kind of support, children are fully capable of successfully navigating the challenges of bereavement and growing into healthy adults. As a matter of fact, research has found that healthy children are the product of a positive relationship with their parent or caregiver, especially where there is care and warmth, modeling of healthy coping behaviors, honest and open communication, and clearly established expectations for behavior in the home.

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Children's Grief Awareness Day (3rd Thursday in November)

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Children's Grief Awareness Day (3rd Thursday in November)

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Children’s Grief Awareness Day is designed to help us all become more aware of the needs of grieving children — and of the benefits they obtain through the support of others. Children’s Grief Awareness Day is an opportunity to make sure that grieving children receive the support they need.

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Brené reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own emotions.

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Give your child the help and support needed to cope with grief and loss.

Guiding Your Child Through Grief, by the founders of the New England Center for Loss & Transition and The Cove, a highly praised program for grieving children, takes away the uncertainty and helpless feelings we commonly feel as we reach out to children who mourn. This caring and compassionate guide offers expert advice during difficult days to help a child grieve the death of a parent or sibling. Based on their experience as counselors--and as parents of grieving children--the authors help readers to understand:

The many ways children grieve, often in secret
Changes in family dynamics after death--and straightforward, effective ways to ease the transition
Ways to communicate with children about death and grief
How to cope with the intense sorrow triggered by holidays
The signs grief has turned to depression--and where to find help
And more insights, information, and advice that can
help a child heal

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Guiding Your Child Through Grief [James P. Emswiler, Mary Ann Emswiler] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Guiding Your Child Through Grief

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Many people experience grief and a sense of loss after the death of a loved one. But the ways in which they experience and express these feelings may differ across cultures. Culture is the mix of beliefs, values, behaviors, traditions, and rituals that members of a cultural group share. Each culture has its own rituals that influence the expression of grief. Carrying out these practices offers a sense of stability and security. Rituals can also help people who are dying and bring comfort to the loved ones who are preparing for their loss.

Culture and the meaning of death

Every culture has its own set of beliefs that describe how the world works and people's roles in the world. In societies in which most people share the same religion, religious beliefs significantly shape the culture. Each culture has its own beliefs about the meaning and purpose of life and what happens after death. This informs how people in those cultures approach death. For example, people may find death more bearable if they believe in a life after death. In some cultures, people believe that the spirit of someone who has died directly influences the living family members. The family members are comforted by the belief that their loved one is watching over them. In general, beliefs about the meaning of death help people make sense of it and cope with its mystery.

Cultural rituals regarding death

In each culture, death is associated with rituals and customs to help people with the grieving process. Rituals offer people ways to process and express their grief. They also provide ways for the community to support the bereaved. A person who is bereaved is in a period of grief and mourning after a loss. Death can create a sense of chaos and confusion. Rituals and customs provide a sense of routine and normalcy. They provide a set of directions that help structure the time surrounding death. Also, they direct people's roles during this time. Rituals and customs can help address:

How people care for people as they approach death. This includes who is present and what ceremonies are performed at the moments before and after death.

How a person's body is handled after death. This includes how the person's body is cleansed and dressed, who handles the body, and whether the body is buried or cremated.

Whether grief is expressed quietly and privately or loudly and publicly. This includes whether public crying or wailing is appropriate.

Whether people of different genders or ages grieve differently.

What rituals people perform after death and who is included in these rituals.

How long family members are expected to grieve. And how they dress and behave during the mourning period.

How the deceased are honored over the lifetime of the family. This includes ongoing rituals to celebrate or talk with the deceased.

What new roles family members are expected to take on. This includes whether a widow remarries or an oldest son becomes the family leader.

Personal differences in grief and mourning

People often adapt the beliefs and values of their culture to meet their unique needs and circumstances. As a result, grief responses within a culture vary from person to person. This is especially true in societies made up of people from many cultural backgrounds. A family with members from 2 or more cultural backgrounds may develop its own set of rituals and customs.

In some instances, a person's experience of grief may be at odds with cultural norms. For example, someone who is quiet and reserved may not feel comfortable crying in public as expected. Others may have a level of despair that feels out of step with cultural beliefs about life after death. Despite cultural norms, people need to grieve in ways that feel right to them.

Grief and cultural sensitivity

There is no correct way to grieve. Mourning rituals that are normal to one culture may seem strange to another. It may be difficult to know how to be sensitive to a grieving person from a different cultural background. Consider the following questions as you seek to support a person with a different cultural background:

What emotions and behaviors are normal grief responses within the person's own culture?

What are the bereaved family's beliefs surrounding death?

Who should attend mourning ceremonies, and how are attendees expected to dress and act?

Are gifts, flowers, or other offerings expected?

What special days or dates will be significant for the bereaved family?

What types of verbal or written condolence are expressed?

Consider talking with someone who shares that cultural background or searching for information on the Internet to learn more about the customs and mourning practices of a person from another culture.

Related Resources
Coping With Grief Coping With Change After a Loss

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Understanding Grief Within a Cultural Context

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Many people experience grief and a sense of loss after the death of a loved one. But the ways in which they experience and express these feelings may differ across cultures. Culture is the mix of beliefs, values, behaviors, traditions, and rituals that members of a cultural group share.

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Understanding Cultural Issues in Death

Information for Schools and Crisis Response Teams

Schools and crisis response workers in many parts of the country will be helping children cope with the concept of death as a result of the war and concern about terrorism. Some children are suffering a personal loss. Others will have a heightened fear of death either because they are worried about further attacks or they have family members in the military, active reserves, or public safety roles. Some children may simply be more aware of death and trying to sort through their feelings and thoughts.

Most important in working with children in these circumstances is to understand and respect the views and wishes of their family, as well as to involve family members in the process. It is also important for school personnel and others to understand various cultural and religious perspectives on death so that interventions are appropriate to the cultural context of the children and families being served. Keep in mind that many of the people dealing with death are also dealing with trauma, and that culture impacts trauma reactions as well. Although not comprehensive, the following information provides describes some of the funeral/mourning practices present within our region.

Impact of Culture on Trauma

Cultural perspectives can shape people's reaction to a traumatic experience. Specifically, culture:

1. Influences what type of threat is perceived as traumatic

2. Influences how individuals and communities interpret the meaning of a traumatic event and how they express their reactions to the event

3. Forms a context through which traumatized individuals or communities view and judge their own response

4. May help define healthy pathways to new lives after trauma

Observances and Practices of Various Cultures

Common practices include:

Common practices include:

Some common patterns include:

Common patterns in the aftermath of death are:

1. High involvement of the priest in the funeral plans.

2. Family and friends are encouraged to be part of the commemoration

3. The rosary is said by surviving loved ones, often at the home of the deceased. Among some Hispanic groups the rosary is said each night for nine nights after the death. Some families say the rosary every month for a year after the death and then repeat it on each anniversary.

4. Funeral services often include a Mass. Loved ones are encouraged to express grief and many are involved in the procession to the grave.

5. Many Hispanic survivors commemorate the loss of their loved ones with promises or commitments. These promises are taken very seriously and those who fail to honor them are considered sinners.

6. Money gifts to help cover the expense of the funeral and burial are not unusual.

General tendencies include:

1. Friends and family gather at the home of the deceased or family member to support and share in the common grief. This practice usually occurs following the announcement of the death.

2. High dependence upon a funeral director and/or person of the clergy in preparations for mourning and burial.

3. A visitation and/or viewing at a funeral home is typically followed by a religious and/or graveside/crypt side service.

4. Funeral services tend to rather subdued.

5. Traditionally, dark clothing tends to be worn during ceremonial services; although this trend has shifted in recent years to a more color-based wardrobe focused on creating an atmosphere of celebration and hope.

6. Interment is followed by a gathering at the home of the deceased, or a family member where food and refreshment are provided.

Religious Observances of Death

The role of religion is important for most victims/survivors because their answers to religious questions form their view of life, death and meaning. Many people do not know their position on religion until disaster strikes, and then their religious faith and beliefs are formed. Some religions give individuals more power over life than others. Some religions give collections of individuals power over life. Some religions give spirits more power over life than the living. Some give free will. Some give fatalism. All have defined ways of dealing with death. Some religious differences include:

1. Since the Second Vatican Council, the terms "last rites" and "extreme unction" are no longer used by the Catholic Church.

2. The Sacraments of the Sick are prayers that are said as the person is dying, and involve confession and communion. If a person dies before the sacraments are given, the priest will anoint the deceased conditionally within three hours of the time of death.

3. There is often a wake and, if so, the priest will conduct the service or say the rosary.

4. There are distinct phases to "The Mass of Christian Burial."

1. Prayers at the funeral home

2. Welcoming the body to the church

3. Covering the casket with a white cloth

4. Sprinkling the casket with holy water

5. The Eucharist is celebrated

6. Prayers are said after the Mass

7. Casket is escorted to back of church

8. At the cemetery, the grave is blessed.

5. Consecration is a reaffirmation that the person will rise again. Prayers address not only the dead but the survivors - their faith in eternal life is encouraged.

6. The one-month anniversary of the death is often celebrated by a Mass, as are those of other anniversaries.

There are a wide range of Protestant observances, including:

Traditions differ in every country and the Turkish interpretation of Islam is in some ways different than those in other Arabic countries. These comments are basically relevant for Turkish culture:

1. Death is considered an act of God is not questioned. Faithful followers believe that all the events in the life-course of an individual, including the time and type of death, are pre-written by God.

2. People in grief are encouraged to show their feelings openly. They are encouraged to cry loudly as it is believed that crying cleans the soul. Any expression of rebellion against God's decision to take a person away from her/his dear ones is considered a sin.

3. Friends visit the house of the deceased and talk with the family members, encouraging them to describe how the death occurred, what they were doing at the time of death, etc.

4. For seven days, the family members are never left alone. Friends and neighbors bring food, as no cooking is supposed to be done in a funeral home during those seven days.

5. Traditionally, no television, radio or any musical devices would be allowed for 40 days but this practice has waned in recent years.

6. There is a religious prayer at the 40th and another at the 52nd day after the death.

7. Muslims are very sensitive to where their beloved ones are buried. They definitely want them buried in a cemetery for Muslims. They also want the funeral prayers to be led by a Muslim, not by a rabbi or a Christian priest.

8. A special ceremony and prayers accompany the funeral. The body is buried without the coffin and wrapped in white clothes, as it is believed that the body should touch the earth.

9. The body must be washed/bathed with certain rituals before the funeral ceremony begins. This usually takes place at either a special section of the mosque or in the morgue of the hospital. It is very upsetting when a body is buried without being washed.

10. When meeting with someone who has lost a relative, conversations start by saying: "May you be alive and May God's blessings be on him/her - the deceased."

March 2003. Adapted from material posted on the NASP website following the September 2001 terrorist attacks.
In light of the recent tragedy in Haiti, I thought I would begin with Haitian/Americans.

Practices of the Haitian-American Culture:

Although there is diversity in religious practices among the Haitian/Haitian-American population, they tend to share the following common patterns in the aftermath of death:
Close family members and relatives make arrangements for the funeral and church services.
A gathering of family members and close friends at the home of the deceased to pray and to offer support.
A wake is held at the home of the deceased every night from the time of the death to the time of the burial. At the wake, they chat, eat, drink, and share jokes.
A viewing is followed by the funeral service and burial. Close family members mourn by dressing in black or white. The wearing of bright colors such as red is not considered an expression of mourning. It is preferable to wear dark colors such as blue, purple, and brown to attend a funeral.
Many Haitians express grief with the physical manifestation of great emotion. After the burial, family members and friends usually gather at the home of the deceased for a reception, where flaky pastries, black coffee, tea, and other foods are served.

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Information for Schools and Crisis Response Teams Schools and crisis response workers in many parts of the country will be helping children cope with the concept of death as a result of the war and concern about terrorism. Some children are suffering a personal loss.

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Over 700,000 suicides are reported each year, with many more going unreported.

1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year. In the U.S. alone, over 130 individuals complete suicide on a daily basis.

Hope for the Day (H.F.T.D) is a non-profit movement empowering the conversation on proactive suicide prevention and mental health education. Through outreach, education, and action, we can equip people with the right tools to be proactive in their communities.

Together, we can break the silence around mental health.

Use our Resource Compass to search for free and reduced-cost mental health resources in your community.

Proactive suicide prevention starts with a conversation. We don't wait for individuals to come to us, we meet people where they're at in their community. We distribute and raise the visibility of resources and information to break the silence of stigma.

By understanding our mental health, we dispel stigmas. Our peer-led, clinically backed education programs ensure that individuals, institutions, and communities can proactively respond and support individuals experiencing mental health challenges.

By Mobilizing individuals and communities to foster proactive environments, we can equip people with the right tools to take action on their own mental health and be supportive to peers in their community.

Involvement Opportunities

There are plenty of ways to support our mission! As an individual or as an organization, out in the field or from the comfort of home, you can make a difference. Look through our options and find the way that works best for you.

Events

We hold and attend events year round, traveling near and far to meet people where they're at. Whether we're meeting in another state or simply via the World Wide Web, we're happy to start the conversation about mental health in your community. Check out if we'll be somewhere near you!

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Hope For The Day (HFTD) is a non-profit movement empowering the conversation on proactive suicide prevention and mental health education.

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American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

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Learn about suicide, how you can help prevent it, and resources for those affected, from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Our mission: save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide

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About the LOSS Program for Children and Youth

The LOSS Children's Program addresses the needs of children and adolescents impacted by the suicide of a family member or person close to them. The LOSS Program is a free and non-denominational service, serving Cook and Lake counties, offered by Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Chicago. We are funded by the Illinois Children's Health Care Foundation, other foundations concerned with the welfare of children, as well as your private donations.

LOSS Program for Children and Youth is here to guide and support young survivors of suicide through the grief recovery process. We help children and adolescents develop an age appropriate understanding of the death, develop tolerance for painful feelings, regain a sense of security in a reconfigured family, and reconstruct new and healthy self-concepts as survivors.

What does the LOSS Program for Children and Youth do?

The LOSS Children's Program begins with assessment to better understand the impact of suicide on your child's emotional and behavioral functioning. We work to help your child make sense of the loss and move through the grief process in a developmentally appropriate way that minimizes unhealthy expressions of grief. Treatment goals include trauma resolution and strengthening of family connections.

What you may not know about the impact of suicide on your child

Studies show that bereaved parents may not recognize the full scale of their children's distress due to their own grief.

Children may inhibit their grief reactions in order to avoid increasing their parent's sadness or anxiety.

Children and adolescents need support in handling their interactions with peers after the suicide loss.

Traumatic reactions can interfere with normal grieving processes and present emotional and behavioral risks.

Children seem particularly vulnerable to the dual demands of trauma mastery and grief work.

(R. S. Pynoos, MD, MPH)

How does the LOSS Program for Children and Youth help?

We provide a helping environment that is safe and nurturing.

We assist with trauma resolution.

We normalize the intense feelings of grief while correcting misconceptions you child may have formed about the suicide.

We assist with coping skills and a realistic understanding of the grief process.

We help you to understand your child's needs and model healthy grieving.

Available Services

Individual therapy for children and teens, ages three to eighteen.

Family counseling.

Peer support groups.

Parent consultation.

School and community debriefings when a suicide has occurred.

Please call the LOSS office for additional information (312) 655-7283.

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About the LOSS Program for Children and Youth The LOSS Children's Program addresses the needs of children and adolescents impacted by the suicide of a family member or person close to them. The LOSS Program is a free and non-denominational service, serving Cook and Lake counties, offered by Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Chicago.

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Through the exploration and creation of dance, theatre and music, Hearts to Art provides these young people with a space to communicate, collaborate, grow and connect with others who have had similar life experiences. Hundreds of campers have attended Hearts to Art over the years, and many campers go on to become junior counselors after they "graduate" from camp.

Originally known as Hands Together, Hearts to Art, the performing arts camp began in the summer of 2005. The Auditorium Theatre's executive director at the time, Brett Batterson, had lost his father to a heart attack when he was 7 years old. "This is a story that can be told by countless children on a daily basis in America," Batterson said. "Luckily, I had an outlet that allowed me to channel my grief into a positive, healing direction: my involvement in the performing arts ... As I got older and found myself in a position to do so, I decided I wanted to give children who had lost a parent the same benefits I had."

Each summer, two two-week sessions are open to young people between the ages of 7 to 10 (Session 1, July 8-July 19) and 11 to 14 (Session 2, July 22-August 2). The sessions conclude with a final performance, giving campers the opportunity to showcase some of what they worked on while at camp, and a special balloon launch, in which campers attach handwritten notes dedicated to their loved ones to balloons and release them at Buckingham Fountain.

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Through the exploration and creation of dance, theatre and music, Hearts to Art provides these young people with a space to communicate, collaborate, grow and connect with others who have had similar life experiences. Hundreds of campers have attended Hearts to Art over the years, and many campers go on to become junior counselors after they "graduate" from camp.

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Through the exploration and creation of dance, theatre and music, Hearts to Art provides these young people with a space to communicate, collaborate, grow and connect with others who have had similar life experiences. Hundreds of campers have attended Hearts to Art over the years, and many campers go on to become junior counselors after they "graduate" from camp.

Originally known as Hands Together, Hearts to Art, the performing arts camp began in the summer of 2005. The Auditorium Theatre's executive director at the time, Brett Batterson, had lost his father to a heart attack when he was 7 years old. "This is a story that can be told by countless children on a daily basis in America," Batterson said. "Luckily, I had an outlet that allowed me to channel my grief into a positive, healing direction: my involvement in the performing arts ... As I got older and found myself in a position to do so, I decided I wanted to give children who had lost a parent the same benefits I had."

Each summer, two two-week sessions are open to young people between the ages of 7 to 10 (Session 1, July 8-July 19) and 11 to 14 (Session 2, July 22-August 2). The sessions conclude with a final performance, giving campers the opportunity to showcase some of what they worked on while at camp, and a special balloon launch, in which campers attach handwritten notes dedicated to their loved ones to balloons and release them at Buckingham Fountain.

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Through the exploration and creation of dance, theatre and music, Hearts to Art provides these young people with a space to communicate, collaborate, grow and connect with others who have had similar life experiences. Hundreds of campers have attended Hearts to Art over the years, and many campers go on to become junior counselors after they "graduate" from camp.

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TAPS - Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors

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TAPS - Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors

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Wreaths Across America

Please honor and remember our country's fallen heroes by sponsoring a Remembrance Wreath that will be laid on the graves of our military and veteran loved ones.
Time is running out! Opportunity to purchase wreaths has been extended one more day. Sponsor Wreaths | Volunteer Orders for Arlington National Cemetery is extended until December 8.

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Tragedy Assistance Program For Survivors (TAPS) Is Here For You!

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Wreaths Across America Please honor and remember our country's fallen heroes by sponsoring a Remembrance Wreath that will be laid on the graves of our military and veteran loved ones. Time is running out! Opportunity to purchase wreaths has been extended one more day.

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Six Books for Grieving Teenagers - Whats your Grief

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It is a little terrifying when you realize time is escaping you. I was going to start this post by saying “last month Eleanor wrote a post about helping teens who are grieving”. But it turns out that post was in SEPTEMBER. It is DECEMBER!! I have apparently […]

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Well, we've gotten a bit carried away...again. Our intention was to provide you with a list of 64 memoirs or novels about death and grief; you know, so you could add a little light reading to your summer book list. I quickly realized that 64 books (with links and descriptions) might be a bit much, so instead we're going to start with 32 books about grief and death and save the other half of the list for another day. These are all either books we've read and loved or books we have on our own reading lists.

1. Mourning Diary by Roland Barthes

"The day after his mother's death in October 1977, Roland Barthes began a diary of mourning. For nearly two years, the legendary French theorist wrote about a solitude new to him; about the ebb and flow of sadness; about the slow pace of mourning, and life reclaimed through writing."

2. A Widow's Story: A Memoir by Joyce Carol Oates

""A Widow's Story" is the universally acclaimed author's poignant, intimate memoir about the unexpected death of Raymond Smith, her husband of forty six years, and its wrenching, surprising aftermath."

3. Wave by Sonali Deraniyagala

"In 2004, at a beach resort on the coast of Sri Lanka, Sonali Deraniyagala and her family - parents, husband, sons - were swept away by a tsunami. Only Sonali survived to tell their tale. This is her account of the nearly incomprehensible event and its aftermath."

4. Her: A Memoir by Christa Parravani

"Christa Parravani and her identical twin, Cara, were linked by a bond that went beyond sibling hood, beyond sisterhood, beyond friendship...But, haunted by childhood experiences with father figures and further damaged by being raped as a young adult, Cara veered off the path to robust work and life and in to depression, drugs and a shocking early death. Beautifully written, mesmerizingly rich and true Christa Parravani's account of being left, one half of a whole, and of her desperate, ultimately triumphant struggle for survival is informative, heart-wrenching and unforgettably beautiful."

5. Say Her Name: A Novel by Francisco Goldman

"In 2005, celebrated novelist Francisco Goldman married a beautiful young writer names Aura Estrada in a romantic Mexican hacienda. The month before their second anniversary, during a long-awaited holiday, Aura broke her neck while body surfing. Francisco, blamed for Aura's death by her family and blaming himself, wanted to die, too. Instead, he wrote "Say her Name", a novel chronicling his grief love and unspeakable loss, tracking the stages of grief when pure love gives way to bottomless pain."

6. Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time by Rob Sheffield

"In 2007 Rolling Stone's writer Rob Sheffield wrote his memoir, "Love is a Mixtape: Life and Loss One Song at A Time". The concept was simple, 22 chapters written around 22 mix tapes. The content was not: grief, love, and a relationship that ended far too soon when his wife, Renee, unexpectedly died of a pulmonary embolism." [Read our thoughts here]

7. Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed

"At twenty-two, Cheryl Strayed thought she had lost everything. In the wake of her mother's death, her family scattered and her own marriage was soon destroyed. Four years later, with nothing more to lose, she made the most impulsive decision of her life. With no experience or training, driven only by blind will, she would hike more than a thousand miles of the Pacific Crest Trail from the Mojave Desert through California and Oregon to Washington State-and she would do it alone. Told with suspense and style, sparkling with warmth and humor, Wild powerfully captures the terrors and pleasures of one young woman forging ahead against all odds on a journey that maddened, strengthened, and ultimately healed her."

8. Death Be Not Proud (P.S.) by John J Gunther

"Johnny Gunther was only seventeen years old when he died of a brain tumor. During the months of his illness, everyone near him was unforgettably impressed by his level-headed courage, his wit and quiet friendliness, and, above all, his unfaltering patience through times of despair. This deeply moving book is a father's memoir of a brave, intelligent, and spirited boy."

9. Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson by Mitch Albom

"[Mitch Albom] rediscovered Morrie [a college professor from twenty years prior] in the last months of the older mans life. Knowing he was dying, Morrie visited with Mitch in his study every Tuesday, just as they used to back in college. Their rekindled relationship turned into one final "class": lessons in how to live."

10. Poems of Mourning (Everyman's Library Pocket Poets) by Peter Washington

"Saluting, lamenting and honoring the dead are the poet's primal tasts in all ages. Whether it be Ben Jonson pining for his son, Keats and Rilke envisaging their own demise, Wilfred Owen commemorating comrades in war, or Homer's Odysseus grieving over his dog-all give expression to the universal need for mourning. But mourning has many forms and moods, and this collection explores them all, from Tennyson's black grief to Whitman's radiant melancholy, from Hardy's despair to Rochester's humor, from Sassoon's anger to Christina Rossetti's tender resignation."

11. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers

"The moving memoir of a college senior who, in the space of five weeks, loses both of his parents to cancer and inherits his eight-year-old brother. Here is an exhilarating debut that manages to be simultaneously hilarious and wildly inventive as well as a deeply heartfelt story of the love that holds a family together."

12. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (Revised Edition) by Jesse Andrews

"It is a universally acknowledged truth that high school sucks. But on the first day of his senior year, Greg Gaines thinks he's figured it out. The answer to the basic existential question: How is it possible to exist in a place that sucks so bad? His strategy: remain at the periphery at all times. Keep an insanely low profile. Make mediocre films with the one person who is even sort of his friend, Earl. This plan works for exactly eight hours. Then Greg's mom forces him to become friends with a girl who has cancer. This brings about the destruction of Greg's entire life." [For young adult literature lovers]

13. Ordinary People by Judith Guest

"Judith Guest's remarkable first novel, the Jarrets are a typical American family. Calvin is a determined, successful provider and Beth an organized, efficient wife. They had two sons, Conrad and Buck, but now they have one. In this memorable, moving novel, Judith Guest takes the reader into their lives to share their misunderstandings, pain...and ultimate healing."

14. The Long Goodbye: A Memoir by Meghan O'Rourke

"What is it like to mourn today, in a culture that has largely set aside rituals that acknowledge grief? After her mother died of cancer at the age of fifty-five, Meghan O'Rourke found that nothing had prepared her for the intensity of her sorrow. She began to create a record of her interior life as a mourner, trying to capture the paradox of grief-its monumental agony and microscopic intimacies-an endeavor that ultimately bloomed into a profound look at how caring for her mother during her illness changed and strengthened their bond. With lyricism and unswerving candor, The Long Goodbye captures the fleeting moments of joy that make up a life and the way memory can lead us out of the jagged darkness of loss. Effortlessly blending research and reflection, the personal and the universal, it is a love letter from a daughter to a mother that will touch any reader who has felt the powerful ties of familial love." [Read our thoughts on the book here]

15. Hamlet by William Shakespeare

If you like Shakespeare, Hamlet is your man.

16. Swimming in a Sea of Death: A Son's Memoir by David Rieff

"David Rieff's loving tribute to his mother, the writer Susan Sontag, and her final battle with cancer. Rieff's brave, passionate, and unsparing witness of the last nine months of her life, from her initial diagnosis to her death, is both an intensely personal portrait of the relationship between a mother and a son, and a reflection on what it is like to try to help someone gravely ill in her fight to go on living and, when the time comes, to die with dignity."

17. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

"Nine-year-old Oskar Schell has embarked on an urgent, secret mission that will take him through the five boroughs of New York. His goal is to find the lock that matches a mysterious key that belonged to his father, who died in the World Trade Center on the morning of September 11. This seemingly impossible task will bring Oskar into contact with survivors of all sorts on an exhilarating, affecting, often hilarious, and ultimately healing journey."

18. Bough Down by Karen Green

"In this profoundly beautiful and intensely moving lament, artist and writer Karen Green conjures the inscrutable space of love and loss, clarity and contradiction, sense and madness. She summons memory and the machination of the interior mind with the emotional acuity of music as she charts her passage through the devastation of her husband's suicide. In crystalline fragments of text, Green's voice is paradoxically confessional and non-confessional: moments in her journey are devastating but also luminous, exacting in sensation but also ambiguous and layered in meaning."

19. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

"From one of America's iconic writers, a stunning book of electric honesty and passion. Joan Didion explores an intensely personal yet universal experience: a portrait of a marriage-and a life, in good times and bad-that will speak to anyone who has ever loved a husband or wife or child."

20. Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love by Anna Whiston-Donaldson

"On an ordinary September day, twelve-year-old Jack is swept away in a freak neighborhood flood. His parents and younger sister are left to wrestle with the awful questions: How could God let this happen? And, Can we ever be happy again? They each fall into the abyss of grief in different ways. And in the days and months to come, they each find their faltering way toward peace."

21. Giving Up the Ghost : A Memoir by Hilary Mantel

"In postwar rural England, Hilary Mantel grew up convinced that the most improbable of accomplishments, including "chivalry, horsemanship, and swordplay," were within her grasp. Once married, however, she acquired a persistent pain that led to destructive drugs and patronizing psychiatry, ending in an ineffective but irrevocable surgery. There would be no children; in herself she found instead one novel, and then another."

22. Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman

"Building on interviews with hundreds of mother- loss survivors, this life-affirming book is now newly expanded to reflect the author's personal experience with the continued legacy of mother loss; now married and a mother of young children herself, Edelman better understands how the effects of mother loss change over time and in light of new relationships."

23. H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald

"When Helen Macdonald's father died suddenly on a London street, she was devastated. An experienced falconer-Helen had been captivated by hawks since childhood-she'd never before been tempted to train one of the most vicious predators, the goshawk. But in her grief, she saw that the goshawk's fierce and feral temperament mirrored her own. Resolving to purchase and raise the deadly creature as a means to cope with her loss, she adopted Mabel, and turned to the guidance of "The Once and Future King" author T.H. White's chronicle "The Goshawk" to begin her challenging endeavor. Projecting herself "in the hawk's wild mind to tame her" tested the limits of Macdonald's humanity and changed her life."

24. The Still Point of the Turning World by Emily Rapp

"What does it mean to be a success? To be a good parent? To live a meaningful life? Emily Rapp thought she knew the answers when she was pregnant with her first child. But everything changed when nine-month-old Ronan was diagnosed with Tay-Sachs disease, a rare and always-fatal degenerative disorder. He was not expected to live beyond the age of three. Rapp and her husband were forced to re-evaluate everything they thought they knew about parenting and to learn to parent without a future."

25. The Beginner's Goodbye: A Novel by Anne Tyler

"Crippled in his right arm and leg, Aaron grew up fending off a sister who constantly wanted to manage him. So when he meets Dorothy, an outspoken, independent young woman, she's like a breath of fresh air. He marries her without hesitation, and they have a relatively happy, unremarkable marriage. Aaron works at his family's vanity-publishing business, turning out titles that presume to guide beginners through the trials of life. But when a tree crashes into their house and Dorothy is killed, Aaron feels as though he has been erased forever. Only Dorothy's unexpected appearances from the dead-in their house, on the roadway, in the market-help him to live in the moment and to find some peace. Gradually, Aaron discovers that maybe for this beginner there is indeed a way to say goodbye."

26. A Monster Calls: Inspired by an idea from Siobhan Dowd by Patrick Ness

"At seven minutes past midnight, thirteen-year-old Conor wakes to find a monster outside his bedroom window. But it isn't the monster Conor's been expecting- he's been expecting the one from his nightmare, the nightmare he's had nearly every night since his mother started her treatments. The monster in his backyard is different. It's ancient. And wild. And it wants something from Conor. Something terrible and dangerous. It wants the truth. From the final idea of award-winning author Siobhan Dowd- whose premature death from cancer prevented her from writing it herself- Patrick Ness has spun a haunting and darkly funny novel of mischief, loss, and monsters both real and imagined." [For young adult literature lovers]

27. A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

"Written after his wife's tragic death as a way of surviving the "mad midnight moment," A Grief Observed is C.S. Lewis's honest reflection on the fundamental issues of life, death, and faith in the midst of loss. This work contains his concise, genuine reflections on that period: "Nothing will shake a man - or at any rate a man like me - out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture does he discover it himself." This is a beautiful and unflinchingly honest record of how even a stalwart believer can lose all sense of meaning in the universe, and how he can gradually regain his bearings."

28. Sweet Hereafter: A Novel by Russell Banks

"Russell Banks tells a story that begins with a school bus accident. Using four different narrators, Banks creates a small-town morality play that addresses one of life's most agonizing questions: when the worst thing happens, who do you blame?"

29. The Best Day the Worst Day: Life with Jane Kenyon by Donald Hall

"In an intimate record of his twenty-three-year marriage to poet Jane Kenyon, Donald Hall recounts the rich pleasures and the unforeseen trials of their shared life. The couple made a home at their New England farmhouse, where they rejoiced in rituals of writing, gardening, caring for pets, and connecting with their rural community through friends and church. "The Best Day the Worst Day" presents a portrait of the inner moods of "the best marriage I know about," as Hall has written, against the stark medical emergency of Jane's leukemia, which ended her life in fifteen months. Between recollections of better times, Hall shares with readers the daily ordeal of Jane's dying through heartbreaking but ultimately inspiring storytelling."

30. The End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe

"During her treatment for cancer, Mary Anne Schwalbe and her son Will spent many hours sitting in waiting rooms together. To pass the time, they would talk about the books they were reading. Once, by chance, they read the same book at the same time-and an informal book club of two was born. Through their wide-ranging reading, Will and Mary Anne-and we, their fellow readers-are reminded how books can be comforting, astonishing, and illuminating, changing the way that we feel about and interact with the world around us."

31. Wit: A Play by Margaret Edson

"Margaret Edson's powerfully imagined Pulitzer Prize-winning play examines what makes life worth living through her exploration of one of existence's unifying experiences-mortality-while she also probes the vital importance of human relationships. What we as her audience take away from this remarkable drama is a keener sense that, while death is real and unavoidable, our lives are ours to cherish or throw away-a lesson that can be both uplifting and redemptive."

32. Half a Life: A Memoir by Darin Strauss

"In this powerful, unforgettable memoir, acclaimed novelist Darin Strauss examines the far-reaching consequences of the tragic moment that has shadowed his whole life. In his last month of high school, he was behind the wheel of his dad's Oldsmobile, driving with friends, heading off to play mini-golf. Then: a classmate swerved in front of his car. The collision resulted in her death. With piercing insight and stark prose, Darin Strauss leads us on a deeply personal, immediate, and emotional journey-graduating high school, going away to college, starting his writing career, falling in love with his future wife, becoming a father. Along the way, he takes a hard look at loss and guilt, maturity and accountability, hope and, at last, acceptance. The result is a staggering, uplifting tour de force."
What grief books would you recommend? Let us know in the comments below.

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Well, we've gotten a bit carried away...again. Our intention was to provide you with a list of 64 memoirs or novels about death and grief; you know, so you could add a little light reading to your summer book list.

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A few weeks ago, we put together the first half of a book list about death and grief. Today, we're finally getting around to posting the second half.

Some of these books we've read, while others are on our 'want to read' list. Although there are many self-help/advice/informative type books out there written specifically to help people get through grief, you will not find any on our list. The vast majority of the books we've listed are memoirs or novels, but if you are looking for a book specifically focused on helping you get through grief you should check out the comments section of our first post, 32 Books About Death and Grief, because many people left recommendations.

1. The Disappearance: A Primer of Loss by Genevieve Jorgensen

What do you do, how do you live, when both of your daughters are killed on the same afternoon? On April 30, 1980, Geneviève Jurgensen found herself facing that question when she lost her four- and seven-year-old daughters to a drunk driver. Here she presents her search for an answer. Read our post on 'The Disappearance' here.

2. The Accidental Tourist: A Novel (Ballantine Reader's Circle) by Anne Tyler

Macon Leary is a travel writer who hates both travel and anything out of the ordinary. He is grounded by loneliness and an unwillingness to compromise his creature comforts when he meets Muriel, a deliciously peculiar dog-obedience trainer who up-ends Macon's insular world-and thrusts him headlong into a remarkable engagement with life.

3. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

When we first meet 14-year-old Susie Salmon, she is already in heaven. This was before milk carton photos and public service announcements, she tells us; back in 1973, when Susie mysteriously disappeared, people still believed these things didn't happen. In the sweet, untroubled voice of a precocious teenage girl, Susie relates the awful events of her death and her own adjustment to the strange new place she finds herself. It looks a lot like her school playground, with the good kind of swing sets. With love, longing, and a growing understanding, Susie watches her family as they cope with their grief, her father embarks on a search for the killer, her sister undertakes a feat of amazing daring, her little brother builds a fort in her honor and begin the difficult process of healing. In the hands of a brilliant novelist, this story of seemingly unbearable tragedy is transformed into a suspenseful and touching story about family, memory, love, heaven, and living.

4. My Sister's Keeper: A Novel (Wsp Readers Club) by Jodi Picoult

Anna is not sick, but she might as well be. By age thirteen, she has undergone countless surgeries, transfusions, and shots so that her older sister, Kate, can somehow fight the leukemia that has plagued her since childhood. The product of preimplantation genetic diagnosis, Anna was conceived as a bone marrow match for Kate-a life and a role that she has never challenged...until now. Like most teenagers, Anna is beginning to question who she truly is. But unlike most teenagers, she has always been defined in terms of her sister-and so Anna makes a decision that for most would be unthinkable, a decision that will tear her family apart and have perhaps fatal consequences for the sister she loves.

5. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel's story is about to be completely rewritten. Read our post on 'The Fault in Our Stars' here.

6. Men We Reaped: A Memoir

Jesmyn's memoir shines a light on the community she comes from, in the small town of DeLisle, Mississippi, a place of quiet beauty and fierce attachment. Here, in the space of four years, she lost five young men dear to her, including her beloved brother-lost to drugs, accidents, murder, and suicide. Their deaths were seemingly unconnected, yet their lives had been connected, by identity and place, and as Jesmyn dealt with these losses, she came to a staggering truth: These young men died because of who they were and the place they were from, because certain disadvantages breed a certain kind of bad luck. Because they lived with a history of racism and economic struggle. The agonizing reality commanded Jesmyn to write, at last, their true stories and her own.

7. The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien

A classic work of American literature that has not stopped changing minds and lives since it burst onto the literary scene, The Things They Carried is a ground-breaking meditation on war, memory, imagination, and the redemptive power of storytelling.

8. A Very Easy Death (Pantheon Modern Writers Series) by Simone De Beauvoir

A Very Easy Death has long been considered one of Simone de Beauvoir's masterpieces. The profoundly moving, day-by-day recounting of her mother's death "shows the power of compassion when it is allied with acute intelligence.

9. Blue Nights by Joan Didion

From one of our most powerful writers, a work of stunning frankness about losing a daughter. Richly textured with memories from her own childhood and married life with her husband, John Gregory Dunne, and daughter, Quintana Roo, this new book by Joan Didion is an intensely personal and moving account of her thoughts, fears, and doubts regarding having children, illness and growing old. As she reflects on her daughter's life and on her role as a parent, Didion grapples with the candid questions that all parents face, and contemplates her age, something she finds hard to acknowledge, much less accept.

10. The Pure Lover: A Memoir of Grief by David Plante

The Pure Lover is David Plante's elegy to his beloved Nikos Stangos, their forty-year life together, and its tragic end. Written in vivid fragments that, like the pieces of a mosaic, come together into a glimmering whole, it shows us both the wild nature of grief and the intimate conversation that is love.

11. Nothing Was the Same by Kay Redfield Jamison

Kay Redfield Jamison, award-winning professor and writer, changed the way we think about moods and madness. Now Jamison uses her characteristic honesty, wit and eloquence to look back at her relationship with her husband, Richard Wyatt, a renowned scientist who died of cancer. Nothing was the Same is a penetrating psychological study of grief viewed from deep inside the experience itself.

12. Epilogue: A Memoir by Will Boast

Having already lost his mother and only brother, twenty-four-year-old Will Boast finds himself absolutely alone when his father dies of alcoholism. Numbly settling the matters of his father's estate, Boast is deep inside his grief when he stumbles upon documents revealing a secret his father had intended to keep: He'd had another family before Will's―a wife and two sons in England.
This revelation leads to a flood of new questions. Did his father abandon this first family, or was he pushed away? Still reeling from loss, Boast is forced to reconsider the fundamental truths of his childhood and to look for traces of the man his father might truly have been. Setting out in search of his half brothers, he attempts to reconcile their family history with his own, testing each childhood memory under the weight of his father's secret. Moving between the Midwest and England, from scenes of his youth to the tentative discovery of his new family, Boast writes with visceral beauty about grief, memory, and his slow and tender journey to a new kind of love.

13. Death's Door: Modern Dying and the Ways We Grieve by Sandra M. Gilbert

Prominent critic, poet, and memoirist Sandra M. Gilbert explores our relationship to death though literature, history, poetry, and societal practices. Does death change-and if it does, how has it changed in the last century? And how have our experiences and expressions of grief changed? Did the traumas of Hiroshima and the Holocaust transform our thinking about mortality? More recently, did the catastrophe of 9/11 alter our modes of mourning? And are there at the same time aspects of grief that barely change from age to age? Seneca wrote, "Anyone can stop a man's life but no one his death; a thousand doors open on to it." This inevitability has left varying marks on all human cultures. Exploring expressions of faith, burial customs, photographs, poems, and memoirs, acclaimed author Sandra M. Gilbert brings to the topic of death the critical skill that won her fame for The Madwoman in the Attic and other books, as she examines both the changelessness of grief and the changing customs that mark contemporary mourning.

14. Patrimony: A True Story by Philip Roth

Patrimony, a true story, touches the emotions as strongly as anything Philip Roth has ever written. Roth watches as his eighty-six-year-old father-famous for his vigor, charm, and his repertoire of Newark recollections-battles with the brain tumor that will kill him. The son, full of love, anxiety, and dread, accompanies his father through each fearful stage of his final ordeal, and, as he does so, discloses the survivalist tenacity that has distinguished his father's long, stubborn engagement with life.

15. After Visiting Friends: A Son's Story by Michael Hainey

"Family? Secrets? Sometimes I think they are the same thing." So writes Michael Hainey in this unforgettable story of a son's search to discover the decades-old truth about his father's mysterious death. Hainey was a boy of six when his father, a bright and shining star in the glamorous, hard-living world of 1960s Chicago newspapers, died under mysterious circumstances. His tragic absence left behind not only a young widow and two small sons but questions about family and truth that would obsess Michael for decades. Years later, Michael undertakes a risky journey to uncover the true story about what happened to his father. Prodding reluctant relatives and working through a network of his father's old colleagues, Michael begins to reconcile the father he lost with the one he comes to know. At the heart of his quest is his mother, a woman of courage and tenacity-and a steely determination to press on with her life. A universal story of love and loss and the resilience of family in the face of hardship, After Visiting Friends is the account of a son who goes searching for his father, and in the journey discovers new love and admiration for his mother. Read our post on 'After Visiting Friends' here.

16. Final Payments by Mary Gordon

When Isabel Moore's father dies, she finds herself, at the age of thirty, suddenly freed from eleven years of uninterrupted care for a helpless man. With all the patterns of her life suddenly rendered meaningless, she turns to childhood friends for support, gets a job, and becomes involved with two very different men. But just as her future begins to emerge, her past throws up a daunting challenge. A moving story of self-reinvention, Final Payments is a timeless exploration of the nature of friendship, desire, guilt, and love.

17. First Love by James Patterson

Axi Moore is a "good girl": She studies hard, stays out of the spotlight, and doesn't tell anyone that what she really wants is to run away from it all. The only person she can tell is her best friend, Robinson-who she also happens to be madly in love with. When Axi impulsively invites Robinson to come with her on an unplanned cross-country road trip, she breaks the rules for the first time in her life. But the adventure quickly turns from carefree to out-of-control... A remarkably moving tale with its origins in James Patterson's own past, First Love is testament to the power of first love-and how it can change the rest of your life.

18. As I Lay Dying: The Corrected Text by William Faulkner

As I Lay Dying is Faulkner's harrowing account of the Bundren family's odyssey across the Mississippi countryside to bury Addie, their wife and mother. Narrated in turn by each of the family members-including Addie herself-as well as others the novel ranges in mood, from dark comedy to the deepest pathos. Considered one of the most influential novels in American fiction in structure, style, and drama, As I Lay Dying is a true 20th-century classic.

19. A Complicated Kindness: A Novel by Miriam Toews

In this stunning coming-of-age novel, award-winner Miriam Toews balances grief and hope in the voice of a witty, beleaguered teenager whose family is shattered by fundamentalist Christianity. "Half of our family, the better-looking half, is missing," Nomi Nickel tells us at the beginning of A Complicated Kindness. Left alone with her sad, peculiar father, her days are spent piecing together why her mother and sister have disappeared and contemplating her inevitable career at Happy Family Farms, a chicken slaughterhouse on the outskirts of East Village. Not the East Village in New York City where Nomi would prefer to live, but an oppressive town founded by Mennonites on the cold, flat plains of Manitoba, Canada.

20. The Death of Ivan Ilyich (Bantam Classics) by Leo Tolstoy

Hailed as one of the world's supreme masterpieces on the subject of death and dying, The Death of Ivan Ilyich is the story of a worldly careerist, a high court judge who has never given the inevitability of his death so much as a passing thought. But one day death announces itself to him, and to his shocked surprise he is brought face to face with his own mortality. How, Tolstoy asks, does an unreflective man confront his one and only moment of truth?

21. Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace by Anne Lamott

In Small Victories, Lamott offers a new message of hope that celebrates the triumph of light over the darkness in our lives. Our victories over hardship and pain may seem small, she writes, but they change us-our perceptions, our perspectives, and our lives. Lamott writes of forgiveness, restoration, and transformation, how we can turn toward love even in the most hopeless situations, how we find the joy in getting lost and our amazement in finally being found.

22. The Summer of the Great-Grandmother (Crosswicks Journal, Book 2) by Madeline L'Engle

A loving daughter has promised her mother that she will never put her in a "nursing home" when the old lady is no longer able to live alone. But after her ninetieth birthday, when she arrives in Connecticut to spend the summer with her daughter's family, it becomes quickly apparent that atherosclerosis it taking its toll: the onoce-gentle Southern woman will not be able to make the trip home. This is the dilemma Madeleine L'Engle describes in this non-fiction book about the problems, crises, fustrations, and guilt engendered by her mother's rapid slide into senility.

23. Out Stealing Horses: A Novel by Per Petterson

Trond's friend Jon often appeared at his doorstep with an adventure in mind for the two of them. But this morning was different. What began as a joy ride on "borrowed" horses ends with Jon falling into a strange trance of grief. Trond soon learns what befell Jon earlier that day-an incident that marks the beginning of a series of vital losses for both boys.

24. A Scattering by Christopher Reid

Lucinda Gane, Christopher Reid's wife, died in October 2005. A Scattering is his tribute to her and consists of four poetic sequences, the first written during her illness, and the other three at intervals after her death.

25. A Widow for One Year by John Irving

Ruth Cole is a complex, often self-contradictory character-a "difficult" woman. By no means is she conventionally "nice," but she will never be forgotten. Ruth's story is told in three parts, each focusing on a crucial time in her life. When we first meet her-on Long Island, in the summer of 1958-Ruth is only four. The second window into Ruth's life opens in the fall of 1990, when Ruth is an unmarried woman whose personal life is not nearly as successful as her literary career. She distrusts her judgment in men, for good reason. A Widow for One Year closes in the autumn of 1995, when Ruth Cole is a forty-one-year-old widow and mother. She's about to fall in love for the first time.

26. Tell The Wolves I'm Home: A Novel by Carol Rifka Brunt

In this striking literary debut, Carol Rifka Brunt unfolds a moving story of love, grief, and renewal as two lonely people become the unlikeliest of friends and find that sometimes you don't know you've lost someone until you've found them.

27. Tolstoy and the Purple Chair: My Year of Magical Reading by Nina Sankovitch

Catalyzed by the loss of her sister, a mother of four spends one year savoring a greatbook every day, from Thomas Pynchon to Nora Ephron and beyond. In the tradition of Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project and Joan Dideon's A Year of Magical Thinking, Nina Sankovitch's soul-baring and literary-minded memoir is a chronicle of loss,hope, and redemption. Nina ultimately turns to reading as therapy andthrough her journey illuminates the power of books to help us reclaim our lives.

28. A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks

There was a time when the world was sweeter....when the women in Beaufort, North Carolina, wore dresses, and the men donned hats.... Every April, when the wind smells of both the sea and lilacs, Landon Carter remembers 1958, his last year at Beaufort High. Landon had dated a girl or two, and even once sworn that he'd been in love. Certainly the last person he thought he'd fall for was Jamie, the shy, almost ethereal daughter of the town's Baptist minister....Jamie, who was destined to show him the depths of the human heart-and the joy and pain of living.

29. A Death in the Family (Penguin Classics) by James Agee

Published in 1957, two years after its author's death at the age of forty-five, A Death in the Family remains a near-perfect work of art, an autobiographical novel that contains one of the most evocative depictions of loss and grief ever written. As Jay Follet hurries back to his home in Knoxville, Tennessee, he is killed in a car accident - a tragedy that destroys not only a life, but also the domestic happiness and contentment of a young family. A novel of great courage, lyric force, and powerful emotion, A Death in the Family is a masterpiece of American literature.

30. Night (Night) by Elie Wiesel

Night is Elie Wiesel's masterpiece, a candid, horrific, and deeply poignant autobiographical account of his survival as a teenager in the Nazi death camps. This new translation by Marion Wiesel, Elie's wife and frequent translator, presents this seminal memoir in the language and spirit truest to the author's original intent. And in a substantive new preface, Elie reflects on the enduring importance of Night and his lifelong, passionate dedication to ensuring that the world never forgets man's capacity for inhumanity to man.

31. Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral by Kris Radish

For Katherine Givens and the four women about to become her best friends, the adventure begins with a UPS package. Inside is a pair of red sneakers filled with ashes and a note that will forever change their lives. Katherine's oldest and dearest friend, the irrepressible Annie Freeman, left one final request-a traveling funeral-and she wants the most important women in her life as "pallbearers." From Sonoma to Manhattan, Katherine, Laura, Rebecca, Jill, and Marie will carry Annie's ashes to the special places in her life. At every stop there's a surprise encounter and a small miracle waiting, and as they whoop it up across the country, attracting interest wherever they go, they share their deepest secrets-tales of broken hearts and second chances, missed opportunities and new beginnings. And as they grieve over what they've lost, they discover how much is still possible if only they can unravel the secret Annie left them....

32. A Lesson Before Dying (Oprah's Book Club) by Ernest J. Gaines

A Lesson Before Dying, is set in a small Cajun community in the late 1940s. Jefferson, a young black man, is an unwitting party to a liquor store shoot out in which three men are killed; the only survivor, he is convicted of murder and sentenced to death. Grant Wiggins, who left his hometown for the university, has returned to the plantation school to teach. As he struggles with his decision whether to stay or escape to another state, his aunt and Jefferson's godmother persuade him to visit Jefferson in his cell and impart his learning and his pride to Jefferson before his death. In the end, the two men forge a bond as they both come to understand the simple heroism of resisting-and defying-the expected.
What do you guys think? Should we start a WYG book club? Go on and subscribe then.

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A few weeks ago, we put together the first half of a book list about death and grief. Today, we're finally getting around to posting the second half. Some of these books we've read, while others are on our 'want to read' list.

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Death and grief are natural parts of the human experience, but addressing such heavy topics with kids can seem daunting.

There are many ways to dive into this conversation, and one powerful approach is through books. Authors of children's books have tackled how to explain death, the emotions that accompany loss, the grieving process and more in age-appropriate ways.

To aid parents in these discussions, we've rounded up 25 children's books that help kids understand death and grief.

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25 Children's Books That Explain Death And Grief To Kids

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These stories help kids understand and process loss.

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A heartbreaking doctor's visit. A fate she never saw coming. She'd dig deep for the strength she so desperately needed...
Seattle, 2015. Jenny Lisk was happy with a perfectly normal, busy life. But after the usual bustling week, Friday night turned from downtime into mild alarm when her forty-three-year-old spouse shared that he'd been feeling dizzy. And after ten days of his condition steadily worsening, she still wasn't prepared for the stunning news: He was terminally ill.

Reeling from his diagnosis of an inoperable brain tumor, Jenny suddenly became not only a wife, mother, and career woman, but also a cancer-patient caregiver and parent of grieving children. And her many fears and uncertainties swirled around one relentless question:

Did she have what it takes to help her young family survive?

Through a vulnerable, honest account of preparing for the death of a loved one, Jenny shares tips and information about childhood grief, how to be there for mourning friends, and ways online communities provide essential support. And for those who feel lost and alone, or are grappling with any kind of loss, her deeply personal journey provides a universal beacon of hope.

Future Widow: Losing My Husband, Saving My Family, and Finding My Voice is a brave and raw narrative that doesn't pull any punches on the realities of caregiving and bereavement. If you like captivating stories, authentic inspiration, and understanding the grieving process, then you'll find encouragement in Jenny Lisk's touching memoir.

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Future Widow - Jenny Lisk | Widowed Parent Podcast

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A heartbreaking doctor's visit. A fate she never saw coming. She'd dig deep for the strength she so desperately needed... Seattle, 2015. Jenny Lisk was happy with a perfectly normal, busy life. But after the usual bustling week, Friday night turned from downtime into mild alarm when her forty-three-year-old spouse shared that he'd been feeling dizzy.

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The Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative (GSSI) seeks to better equip teachers to care for grieving students by introducing GrievingStudents.org and other valuable grief resources to local schools.
For questions regarding the program, contact nylfoundation@newyorklife.com.
A Grief-Sensitive School is an accredited K-12 public or private institution that commits to help provide a supportive environment for students who have experienced the death of a loved one.

When it comes to grief support at school, many teachers feel under-prepared to help: a recent study revealed that only 7% of classroom teachers have received any amount of bereavement training and 92% of them said childhood grief was a serious problem that deserved more attention from schools. Participating in the Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative helps your school personnel to address this training gap and signals to students, parents, and community members alike that your school is strongly committed to supporting its grieving students and their families.

We recognize that schools have a critical role to play in delivering support to their grieving students. To be part of this initiative, we ask that you pledge to foster a more supportive environment for those who are grieving in your school community by:

Increasing awareness of the issue of grief at school

Sharing information with your school community about GrievingStudents.org

Reviewing relevant school policies and procedures

Providing specific professional learning opportunities

Additionally, the Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative offers presentations to school staff on key bereavement resources, led by New York Life ambassadors (a minimum of 5 school personnel must attend); schools that commit to become more grief-sensitive following the presentation are also eligible to receive a $500 grant to help enhance their ability to offer grief support and resources.

If you are interested in receiving an in-person Grief-Sensitive Schools presentation and grant from New York Life, please click the button below. If an ambassador is available in your area, New York Life will follow up with you to schedule a presentation.

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New York Life's Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative - Coalition to Support Grieving Students

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The Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative (GSSI) seeks to better equip teachers to care for grieving students by introducing GrievingStudents.org and other valuable grief resources to local schools. For questions regarding the program, contact nylfoundation@newyorklife.com. A Grief-Sensitive School is an accredited K-12 public or private institution that commits to help provide a supportive environment for students who have experienced the death of a loved one.

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Compassionate Friends - Child (of any age) loss

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Compassionate Friends - Child (of any age) loss