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I got a job!
Technically I had my pick of three of them, but I went with a full time job at a law firm! I'm working in the mailroom as a records clerk!

It's been a bit of a roller coaster of emotions, not due to the job itself, but the nature of starting in an entirely new workplace and type of work.
I'm three weeks in now, and I feel like I'm adapting pretty well. It's been a lot to learn, and I've definitely despaired at times, but talking through my feelings, and realizing that being uncertain about something this new and foreign is natural has really helped.

My manager is the exact type of no nonsense, follow the rules and you'll be fine kind of boss that I love to have. The more clear cut and well defined the rules are, the better I do.

My coworkers are an eclectic bunch. There's a lady in her 60s (Mary) that seems really sweet, but decided that I did *something* wrong, and decided to complain to Mel, our manager. (I found out because I was walking over to ask her for help on something, and Mary keeps her computer text really large, so I was able to read the email from 10 ft away.)
Good thing though, is that Mel hasn't said a word about it to me, and from what others have said, that means she doesn't really care about the complaint, as far as I'm concerned.

There's a couple girls my age, and they're nice to talk to. I think I'm entering my Professional Era, and leaving behind the Social (be friends with everyone I work with) Era, which kinda has needed to happen for a while.

I really love how I go to work, do my job, and then go home, and leave it all at work. Not bringing my work home with me, emotionally or physically, is so nice for my heart.

I'm trying to get into meal prepping. I fully discovered that if my lunch isn't ready to just get thrown into the lunch box in the morning, it's not getting packed, so I need to work on planning ahead.

I have a desk all to myself, and it's wonderful. I have zero office job experience, so it's a novelty. I'm used to only having communal cubbies for coats and stuff at work, but now I have a desk I can decorate and keep work supplies in.

Good things have come my way, and I can only hope for many more to come.

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This June/July was a bit of a doozy. Quit my job at Angel Food abruptly at the beginning of June, and spent the rest of the month picking up the pieces. In July, I went on a dually fun and stressful trip to Seattle/Washington, and now I'm back home and doing my best to put my home and life in order.

I went to Washington for my little brother Kamryn's 18th Birthday/Graduation trip. We stayed at an AirBnB in Ronald, WA.
About two hours away from Seattle. Everything was a minimum of 30 minutes away.
So much driving.
We picked up Kam on the 5th from the Minneapolis airport, and got straight on the road. We drove to Miles City, MT that night, and then to Spokane Valley, WA the next night. It was doable, but a lot of work.

The trip itself was so beautiful. But, my mother and I are still going through our stressful era, so it was a week of her being clingy, and me trying to set boundaries.

I had a wonderful time celebrating my brother though.

Now that I'm home, I had a lovely session with my therapist that really helped to bring some perspective on why I want my Mom's  love so desperately. I also realized that I don't need her to be whole myself.

I also realized that when I go to my safe space in my head now, which is a specific construct I made in therapy, I'm no longer alone. In the space I have envisioned, I'm sorting through my emotions on my own, but I can feel my husband waiting for me right by me, and my friends are all sitting in the next room, waiting for me to join them.

I'm not alone anymore. And maybe, I never was.