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Me myself & i & you - feeling alone in a toxic household

Born in bad blood - you have trauma passed on from you generations before you’re even born

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movies/ series with themes of generational trauma and/or breaking the cycle

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movies/ series with themes of generational trauma and/or breaking the cycle

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encanto

ginny and geogia

gilmore girls

friends - monica

normal people

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In my first rehearsal with my dancers, I explained my concept and showed them the music. This went well as the dancers listened well, were enthusiastic and excited about it. They all understood my explanation, which was a worry because I can not always be clear when explaining my thoughts and process.

I then taught the group 4x8 counts of choreography. I then set them off in 2s and 3s with different intentions, to play around with the movement and make it into a duet/trio. They all took the task on well. I then repeated this with another section of the piece.

Reflecting on this, I could be more explorative and be more clear with exact what I want to dancers to show with their movement. I can also give them different tasks with the same movement to explore what they can come up with.

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how can you make the audience feel uncomfortable - how far can you push it

moments can last longer than you think

breath and lean into the uncomfortably and the movement

play with one idea for ages until you have to move onto something else- play with repetition

take accept and question

Look into dancer theatre

Who are you looking at for inspiration

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YUNGBLUD- hated

“But you don't wanna do what your daddy did

Bury it deep down, keep it under your skin

So, you put pen and paper, made a verse of it”

Yungblud- love song

Billie eilish - happier than ever

“You ruined everything good

Always said you were misunderstood

Made all my moments your own”

Sam fender- spit of you

“Knotted up with the baggage

Neck like a stone

All sounds just like you

Smashing cups off the floor

And kicking walls through

That's me and you”

“Cause it was love

In all its agony

Every bit of me

Hurting for you”

“I can talk to anyone

I can’t talk to you”

Sam fender- the boarders

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taking inspiration from 'free you mind' - section with the mesh material from the ceiling- could use this idea to show how people are affected by generational trauma before they are even born

for this section- could have three dancers representing each generation. some sort of fight between 'grandparent' and 'parent' then a fight between 'parent' and 'baby'. the 'baby' could be in this mesh material to represent the membrane before it is born

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part could be filmed in a corridor or landing space- part of a house but not somewhere you would relax so it could be like an uncomfortable passing space (part of a house that's not always a home)

dancers of representing two parents fighting and a third dancers representing the child is present - choreographed to show how it affects the child

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could film the sections in different eras in time too show different generations

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could have two parallel stories that flash between both throughout the piece that show different upbringings of a person. eg. one is good the other is bad. and show how they grow up to be in the same place physically but not mentally and how they manage through this

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3 separation sections in the piece

trauma

healing

breaking the cycle

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majority of the piece will be contemporary fusion

possibly a larger jazzy ensemble section

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pink - try music video

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Kelly Clarkson - because of you + music video

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parts filmed outside and inside

in a restaurant/ somewhere in public - happy families

and then in a home = not happy families

showing the silence brought to the children by having a bad relaionship with the parents

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sia - chandelier music video in the house

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song written by me "mastermind"

could possibly use this for outro/credits

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Discussion with dancers about the topic, collect their opinions/ thoughts etc

Show structure/story board/ time line of the piece along with music

Teach 4x8 counts of choreography

Dancers will then be paired up to create duet using choreo just taught, each will be given a different intention in the relationship – film each pair

Take sizes for costumes

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the draize train - by the smiths

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Revisit choreography from previous rehearsal

Set characters for the dancers

Teach new section of choreography (32 counts for first section)

Work in together from 1.38 to end of retrograde

Tell dancers to pick 16 counts and retrograde it

Get dancers to improvise with contact to get them to connect and find movements to be used in the first section

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In this rehearsal, I went over the choreography with the dancers from the previous session, which they all remembered pretty well.

I think set characters so we can figure out who’s doing which role in the piece. I then taught 32 more counts of choreography, which the dancers picked up well.

From this, we then adapted the choreography into the characters and tried to picture where this would go in the set of the house. Adapting the choreography was okay but it was very challenging to figure out how it would be in the house and whether it would even be possible. Learning from this, the next rehearsal is going to be in the location we are filming so we can fully adapt it and polish the movement, ready for filming.

Using the dancers, I figured out as much as I could and then ran the song, going through each section to see how it could flow for the video. This went okay but still had a few gaps, I think this will iron out when we rehearse in the proper space

I then set the dancers to use the movement from this section and retrograde parts of it for the next section of the song (the reverse section). Again this was more difficult than I thought but we made a base of movement to come back to and develop in the next rehearsal.

This finial thing I did with the dancers in was get them to improvise in pairs with different tasks. For example, playing with pace and levels and taking in turns to move across the floor. They took this on well. I think this would help them to connect as dancers to make the piece more impactful. This was also to see what natural movements they did for inspiration to use in the opening section of the piece.

Overall, the rehearsal was productive but I didn’t get as much clarity as I wanted to. I think this is partly because I hadn't prepared enough choreography for the rehearsal and because it was difficult without being in the set. For next time I will make sure I prepare more so I am more sure on what I am doing and be able to communicate more clearly to my dancers.

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Ideas for last section - my song - mastermind

Slow shutter speed

Sat still playing guitar in the house, having everyone move around me as if I am not there ie washing pots, sat reading etc

Had flashbacks to other parts of the piece

The song is like a summary of the piece so it makes sense for me to be in it

I wasn’t going to be in the piece but bc I had less dancers turn up to the rehearsals as planned, it’s worked out that I will need to be in it but this makes more sense when wanting to feature in my song at the end

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Recap the movement material

Work into the space for section ones

clean and refine material so it it ready to be filmed

Film this section from different angles to I can edit together and see a rough version of what it’s going to look like

Have a look at movement for the next section, and see how we can work it into the space

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prelude to ecstacy - the last dinner part

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In this rehearsal, me and the cast went to the house we will be filming in to set the choreography in the space. This was a lot more challenging than I expected. The choreography wasn’t really fitting as we imagined in the studio because it looked disconnected to the space and it wasn’t as easy to move around the smaller space.

From this I’m going to rethink my approach

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In this rehearsal, I did some character work with my dancers. I gave them key words to embody and got the to improvise with the words in mind for the characters. They worked well with this and the movement was starting to look more fitting in the space.

We then create a couple of motifs to revisit while improvising and created a story line for each section with set spaces for the movement.

This worked a lot better than the previous rehearsal and the piece is starting to come together

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Improvise with character work in the space

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Figure out section 2 in space

Recap section one ready for filming

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In the rehearsal, we revisited what we did in the previous rehearsal. We then did the same thing for the second section of the piece, where the dancers with show families without trauma and the vibe will be more positive.

We then created storylines for these sections as well

After this rehearsal, I think I am in a good place to start recording footage at the next rehearsal/ first filming day

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We began with the very last section of my piece, which will be me singing with my guitar, which will then have flash backs to previous sections. This was nice and quick, I can footage from different angles to edit together. I also got my dancers to move in the background on a Timelapse so I can also edit this together to give it effect and tie the piece

together.

After this we moved on the filming the main sections of the dance. Starting with me Tilly and Ellie, we filmed the first trauma section that we rehearsed last time. We filmed from lots of different angles to get lots of footage and also filmed with a slow shutter effect to add depth to the piece

We then did the same thing for the non-trauma section. This went well and the costumes I put together also fitted well to enhance the characters.

We then moved on to the next generation with Ellie now being the mum, Lilly and Jess. First did the same thing, starting with the trauma section, making sure to get footage from all angles so I have lots of footage to work with while editing. Then we moved onto to non-trauma section. This all went well and as planned.

Came across a slight problem as we need to film outside in the garden but someone was cutting the grass so we were unable to film that section at this time.

We then planned to come back for a second filming day to complete the rest of this section

I was happy with this filming day as we managed to get a lot done, even though we couldn’t film the last bit of the section. I’m happy I started filming when we did so we had time to film another day and I’ll still have enough time to edit

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In my creative piece, I aim to create awareness of generational trauma in families and how this can affect a person from childhood to adulthood. Explore how trauma in childhood can have effect on a person later in their life and effect mental health later down the line. I aim to make people be aware of these affects to improve the mental health and growth of the next generations.

I aim to communicate different messages throughout the piece depending on the audience member. For example, I will aim to show a healing journey to help a person live out their childhood trauma and give a message to a parent for example to make them aware of how their actions affect their children and make them try to break the cycle of generational trauma in their family.

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I am going to reach my aims by researching into how trauma is passed on through generations and how trauma can affect a person psychologically. I will also research family households, family therapy, healing journey, family systems, social classes and news and books, films, stories to maybe base it around and find inspiration to develop my piece.

I want to make the audience feel a range of different emotions throughout the piece. It should be a roller coaster of feeling and should leave the audience reflecting on their own life and what they can do to help the people in their own families.

I will create a filmed piece, possibly two different stories running parallel to contrast and compare different situations or a 3 section piece with themes of trauma, healing and breaking the cycle.

I would also like to include a song written by myself with raw emotions around the topic.

Ultimately, the piece should have a positive impact to make people reflect on themselves.

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The second and final filming day went very smoothly as everyone knew what they were doing from the previous filming day.

We started with the trauma section for the ‘today’ generation with dancers Emily and Jess. Next we filming the non-trauma section. This was a very quick process

We then went back to the previous generation with Ellie and Lilly for the section in the garden. We spent a short time going over the choreography and slightly changing some spacing and movement. We then film this, which again was a very quick and smooth process

I now have all my footage ready to be edited today

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Overall I am proud of the final piece I created. Reflecting back to my aims and objectives, I think I portrayed them well throughout the piece. For example, I have shown how trauma can develop through generations and trauma can still be there even if it hasn’t been experienced first hand. From feedback from my peers, I made the story line clear and understandable to the audience.

Although I may have faced a few setbacks and struggles along the way and found the project very stressful at times, I think I overcame the setbacks well for the final outcome. I changed my ideas a few times throughout the process as I originally wanted to have a scene in a restaurant and a reverse scene. In the end I didn’t include these but I don’t think it takes away anything in the final piece and it still sends the message I intended.

To conclude, I am happy with my final outcome. If I was to make a concept video like this again, I would give myself more time to explore to develop the piece further and enhance the message behind it.