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Book Chat Schedule - Guidelines - Announcements

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Book Chat Schedule - Guidelines - Announcements

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Apr 16

Memoirs of a 2020 College Graduate: Part 2

Even before the pandemic, the idea that life wasn’t just about work became a seed in my brain. The idea grew under my nose while I desperately sought for a spot in Hollywood. “I’m sorry. If it weren’t for the current situation, we’d love to help you get a position…

Future Of Work

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Apr 8

Memoirs of a 2020 College Graduate: Part 1

The onset of the COVID-19 virus changed the world as society plunged into quarantine, turning the world upside down— etc., etc. The hottest tagline for any writer or introspective overthinker (they’re synonyms), we know the pandemic shifted a considerable amount in all our lives. They were all stamped by loss…

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Sep 21, 2021

Young Thoughts: Writing Happiness in Portugal

A square window. Trimmed with white paint. Inside (or outside, I should say) is the North Atlantic Ocean. The slight ocean breeze whispers in my ear, though I am alone. Except for my thoughts, ready to formulate itself on my computer keyboard that will eventually become my next book. Poetry…

Writehere

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Beating Writer’s Block and Pressing ‘Publish’: collections from a Medium Workshop

The Google Calendar alert pinged me fifteen minutes before 9:30AM: “7 Great Ideas for Your Next Story: How to Beat Writer’s Block and…is in 15 minutes.” I kept working as the time ticked closer to 9:30. Then at 9:25, I took a self-allotted bathroom break, turned on my iPad, and…

Unblocked 21

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Feb 21, 2021

My First Book Published During the Pandemic

And it was paralyzing to share it with everyone. The German countryside emulsified into a blur as my train sped past giant trees and burblings streams. The glow of my laptop flooded my face as I added a new poem to what would be my first book, My Heart of…

First Book

6 min read

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Read writing from Ashley Lanuza on Medium. reflections on life, society, and meaning in my 20s. Every day, Ashley Lanuza and thousands of other voices read, write, and share important stories on Medium.

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https://www.instagram.com/lookingforashley_/

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Ashley Lanuza. 264 likes · 8 talking about this. Ashley C. Lanuza is a published author, aspiring filmmaker, and lifelong learner. She is a born-and-raised Angeleno, who graduated from UCLA with a BA...

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My First Book Published During the Pandemic

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My First Book Published During the Pandemic

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And it was paralyzing to share it with everyone.

The German countryside emulsified into a blur as my train sped past giant trees and burblings streams. The glow of my laptop flooded my face as I added a new poem to what would be my first book, My Heart of Rice: A Poetic Filipino American Experience. I pulled moments, senses, and thoughts from my memories and onto the keyboard. My fingers flew- writing has always been second nature to me. I was never hesitant in the pages I can complete given an hour, or in this case, the several hours between The Hague to Berlin. This was in the fall of 2019, right before the Pandemic.

My Heart of Rice was a testimony to everything I had absorbed (so far) regarding my Filipino American identity. In short, it compiled my understanding with the Filipino food my Lolo (grandfather) cooked every night when I lived with my family. That, Filipino soap operas, and my limited understanding of Tagalog were my sole access to culture. This identity interacted, and came into crisis, as I was surrounded by predominantly Hispanic communities both at school and through my former stepfather's family. I ignored who I was as a Filipino because it didn't fit anywhere but home. I eventually attended UCLA, got involved with the premiere Filipino org on campus (Samahang Pilipino), and began to embrace my cultural identity further from food. It got into Fil-Am history, "community conditions," and a sense of unity and kinship I found with my peers. I conclude in the book that I am still learning, but I've finally come to a place of acceptance with my mix of common and unique experiences.

My first book was published in February of 2020- yes, exactly right before The Pandemic. In the weeks leading up to Los Angeles County's mandatory quarantine, I was lining up speaking events with my alma mater and university, prepared myself to attend live poetry readings, and planned to throw parties in celebration. Like the pre-planned events for many, my celebrations were all canceled as everyone huddled into their homes, uncertainty filling the next few months.

In the midst of a global pandemic, it felt ridiculous to promote my book, especially one as specific as cultural identity. People were fearing an invisible enemy- hospitals overfilling, deaths accumulating, uncertainty lurking at every corner.

I had to reprioritize.

In my final quarter at UCLA, I took five classes, which is a heavy load in the quarter system. In the middle of it, I had to also move out of my university apartment and into a new place across town. Then there was a job search, trying out new career paths, and moving around the world with caution, masked and gloved, and praying every night my family gets through this with zero casualties. Promoting my book fell to the bottom of the list.

I know I wasn't alone in my thoughts, that many of my peers felt the exact same way, which made self-promotion even more difficult to stomach. I did a few virtual events here and there, but I couldn't bring myself to do giveaways, virtual parties, or anything else that I created. I gave 45% of my effort to say I did it, but a solid 55% and a personal "I want to do it"was lacking. The social conversation wasn't there and my imposter syndrome got the best of me. I was paralyzed in fear of what I thought people would say:

Is she serious? ... In the middle of The Pandemic?

Imposter syndrome is the feeling that an individual doesn't belong in a certain place, especially one with extraordinary people surrounding them. The 'imposter' believes it is only through extraordinary circumstances, and not their own capabilities, that got them to where they are. This feeling radiated during my time at UCLA. For those four years, I've never been so unsure of my abilities, my efforts, and myself. I thought the book, out of the many things I hoped it would do, would alleviate this feeling. But it didn't. In fact, the feeling grew as I came back from Europe, ready to publish my first book, and found the conversation around me was moving away from identity.

Cultural identity has, and always will be, a complex and touchy subject for many, especially first-generation and second-generation immigrant children. This isn't to invalidate anyone still figuring that part out (quite honestly, we're all learning and appreciating), but the conversations around me, because my circle was maturing and exploring, went beyond.

The conversations talked more than representation and providing reparations for indigenous groups in the Philippines, going above "boba liberalism", and addressing the proximity and position of Asian Americans in regards to the Black Lives Matter movement. Though there are poems in my book that addressed some of these issues in a broad way, the work's overall message was still on exploring identity, and trying to connect it to the present felt like a reach.

TL;DR: it felt weird and my anxiety simply flew off the rails.

What if my information is wrong? What if no one relates anymore, or cares? What if it just sucks?

and most importantly:

Maybe there's a better time, maybe when I'm more confident or when the conversation is relevant, for me to share my story.

A full year later since my first book published and there's a lot I've learned about publishing, marketing, writing, and situating a conversation in the digital sphere. I've been fortunate to receive a role as editor and strategist for my publishing company, allowing me to guide authors through their own journey and marketing strategies. Back in March, it wasn't that the marketing was difficult, but the feeling right to do so was the barrier. My authors are all publishing during quarantine, with both timely and untimely topics, which made me think that there's never a good time to promote something and to just do it knowing how much love and blood you put into it.

I've also come to find that I simply have grown up. I've grown from the person who wrote those poems two years ago- I've come to peace with personal, internal conflict and am no longer immersed in the community as I once was. The book is a time-capsule of someone who made me who I am today, but she doesn't speak for my entirety. A part of the hesitation to give my best effort came from the fact that I am simply not the same person. And that's okay.

But even so, that doesn't mean someone else isn't in their own exploration of identity and culture. Or there isn't another writer out there understanding themselves through poetry. And that pushed me to write this reflection today.

It isn't about when is the right time, but rather, when is it the right time for the right person to come across you? And how can those times overlap if you, the creative maker, stifle your voice?

It still feels weird to situate a conversation on identity because the world becomes more and more restless each day. But I feel restless not trying to at least cast the line, in hopes that the right person who needs to hear my story or my words gets the chance to on their own time.

As I grow confident as a writer (currently an editor, ghostwriter, and visual media freelancer), I've learned that whatever I create, whatever I want to create, will find its people if it is meant to. I'm still trying to believe this because anxieties are real, but what good is making anything if they stay hidden in the drafts?

And for all my creatives reading this: if the thought nags you at the beginning of the day to its end, then make it.

The world will become blurrier if you don't.

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My First Book Published During the Pandemic

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And it was paralyzing to share it with everyone. The German countryside emulsified into a blur as my train sped past giant trees and burblings streams. The glow of my laptop flooded my face as I added a new poem to what would be my first book, My Heart of Rice: A Poetic Filipino American Experience.

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Filipinx American Spotlight: Interview with Ashley C. Lanuza

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Filipinx American Spotlight: Interview with Ashley C. Lanuza

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Dream Jobs: Executive Film/Television Producer to diversify media representation, especially for People of Color...Screenwriter...Novelist.

Food of Choice: Noodles, Sushi Rolls, Dessert, more noodles

Drink of Choice: I love the two clear drinks available in this society: Water and...

Anything else? No? Contact me if there is.

Your book My Heart of Rice will be published in February 2020. You say that 'you wrote this book because you wanted to share your experiences as a Filipino-American and the narratives you have read and heard about from your peers and university research'. Can you tell us about the process of writing My Heart of Rice?

The process has been very cumulative. Growing up, I didn't really reflect on my cultural identity because of my family system, but with the increase in political correctness/wokeness/POC education during my senior year of high school, I became more aware of this idea of ethnicity and race- especially in America. When I got to college, I simply wanted Filipino friends! But then I learned so much beyond just those social networks, and I was inspired. It all culminated into this poetry that reflects on my thoughts, experiences, and the conversations I've had with my Filipino American peers. It also reflects the critical discussion held on forums and online boards. The book sees this whole world of the modern, conscious Filipino American through a beginner's lens, in hopes to transcend that beginning to evolve into a more holistic, educated understanding. Tl;dr: it's a coming of age from someone who is also growing up and reflecting on her identity journey so far.

You are also a filmmaker. Can you tell us which part of this process you are engaging to? How did you come with the idea of your short film Paint Me With Love, Los Angeles?

As a filmmaker, I speak from the heart and from my experiences. The shorts I've made, save for one or two, are inspired by my life because I believe in "write from what you know." I didn't intend for my poetry or film experience to necessarily correlate, but if my book inspires someone to visualize their own experience, I'm a strong supporter of that.

For Paint Me With Love, LA, I just Taylor Swift-ed my ex-boyfriend. It was my first break-up, I was hurting, and I wanted to make something beautiful out of that pain. Poetry has always been the way I process my emotions, so Paint Me With Love is a poem. But I'm a sucker for a good camera shot, urban journeys, and deep symbolism. I incorporated all these elements to Paint Me With Love. Our relationship was very rooted in my first time exploring Los Angeles as an adult, the city where I've lived all my life. I remember during my healing period, it just hurt to go to my favorite places because of the memories that were there. I wanted to reclaim that for myself. I began to see a parallel between the good and bad of a relationship and a bustling city like LA. I mean, you have these beautiful lights, sights, and stars, but you also have an increasing homeless population, poor street maintenance, and worn-down buildings. Relationships have the same good and bad sides to the coin as well, and I wanted to capture that. The entire experience was nothing short of a cathartic way to dull that puppy-love wound.

Do you think that magazines play an important role in a poet's/artist's publishing career? Do you have a dream journal? Or a dream publishing house?

I think magazines do play an important role because it's one pathway for an author's work to get out there. I don't think it's a crucial aspect though because there are so many ways for writers to publish. In my own journey, I contributed to newspapers and digital articles because I like the freedom of choosing what genre I wanted to tackle that week. Since I do have so many interests, I don't actually have a dream publishing house. It'd definitely be amazing to publish with any of the top three. My dream production company is Universal Pictures, though ☺

How do you define being Filipinx American for yourself?

Being Filipina American means resourcefulness when left with nothing, strength in the face of adversity, and remaining humble of her achievements.

What would you change about the mainstream perception of Filipinx Americans?

I would change the mainstream perception that Filipino Americans are solely obedient, people-serving individuals. I think Filipinos really shine when they're working for themselves and a larger cause, rather than being instrumental for others. Hospitable personalities are amazing, and we're really good at our emotional range, but I wouldn't want that to be our only descriptive.

How would you encourage more involvement of Filipinx American with politics/events in the Philippines?

Displaying the relevance of politics to Filipino Americans' lives is a big step in encouraging political involvement. Filipino families tend to keep to themselves and focus on their local connection, but connecting our communities to the bigger picture would help in involvement. I think a great way it has been done is through social media engagement, as many Filipino Americans use the internet to connect with family back home.

Being Filipinx enough is a concern shared with many Filipinx Americans. Do you feel this? If so, how do you combat this feeling of inadequacy?

Yes, I constantly feel this. Even around Filipino Americans, I question my "Filipino-ness!" I talk about this feeling a lot in my anthology. I grew up in diverse communities and the only one of my generation in my family, so I wasn't exposed to Filipinos my age on a constant basis. I still get anxiety when going into Filipino/Filipino American groups, even though I know there's nothing to really be afraid of. To combat my anxieties, I just constantly remind myself there's different ways to be Filipino, and that's okay.

Did you always embrace your culture? If so, who taught you? If not, what inspired this change?

I've always embraced aspects of my culture, mainly when it came to food and entertainment. Most immigrant families integrate these elements into their children in one way or another. I have always loved Filipino food and prefer cheesy Filipino rom-coms over the American ones any day. I was severely unaware, however, of Filipino American history and activism in the United States. To be honest, the Philippines felt like a strange relic of the past only my elders could access. I had this sense of being Filipino because I compared myself to the rest of my society, and that's who I was relative to others. This all changed when I got to college and I began to learn about Filipino American history and community narratives. I learned that being Filipino American is an active definition I could carry and define for myself.

What do you know about your family history?

I don't know much about my family history. I know where my grandparents came from (Cavite, Nueva Ecija, Makati) and some details about their lives in the Philippines. But, unfortunately, no, I don't know my personal history as much as I'd like to.

Do you speak a Filipinx language? If so, which one? Does this knowledge influence your work?

I understand Tagalog and speak a little bit. I'm a bit shy of speaking because one time, I read intentions in Tagalog during a Christmas mass, and my Filipina friend joked that I sounded "white." I've refrained from speaking outside of my family since. I use a few Tagalog words and phrases in my poems to emphasize the cultural significance.

What are your thoughts on learning a Filipinx language as a Filipinx American? Is it necessary to you? Why or why not?

I think it's a necessary language to pick up on, mostly on the premise that the more languages a person knows, the better. What I don't believe is defining someone more or less than Filipino for knowing a Filipino language or not. It's critical to look at the person's family experience, as some immigrant families want 100% assimilation and speak to their kids in only English. It's up to the person if they want to learn the language when they're older, but that also just depends on the individual's perception of their cultural identity.

Do you feel obligated to talk about the Filipinx American experience because you are Fil-Am? Why or why not?

No, I'm not obligated to speak solely about being Fil-Am. I do like talking about being Filipino-American, however, because I'm passionate about the topic and the research surrounding it.

How in your writing do you express being Filipinx, whether implicitly or explicitly? Being American?

My writing is mainly about my relationship with being Filipino American. The poems start with Filipino food, and how that interacts with the rest of American society. Like many children of immigrants, I rejected my heritage to assimilate into America and the Hispanic communities prevailing around me. I cared less about being Filipino, even though internally, I always felt like something was missing. The poems then discuss my journey into understanding what Filipino American is on my own terms. It is the effort of the histories, narratives, and community issues that I am able to come to a semblance of what Filipino American means to me.

What parts of your identity do you feel conflict? How do you reconcile these differences?

There's conflict in my identity as an artist, a woman, a partner, a Pinay, a daughter, a student... honestly, I think every piece of my identity is a battle. I'm still in my early 20's and figuring sh*t out, so my only way to reconcile my differences is let life happen to me and learn from it.

Who are you, and how do you want the Filipinx American community to know you?

I'm an artist focused on highlighting the beauty, strength, and diversity of the Filipino American community. Know that, though I'm one voice of many, I am here to represent the voiceless.

When did you first realize your affinity for poetry? What is your "origin" story?

I was ten years old when I wrote on the back of my religion studies workbook, this little stanza about a yellow cello. I thought it was cool because it rhymed. The next year, I won a city-wide writing competition for a poem I wrote for Latino Heritage Month! Since then, I became a writer, a poet, a creative, and I found my voice through the verses. I then expanded into writing short stories, speeches, and scripts.

Do you feel like your poetry falls under a certain category, such as experimental, contemporary, etc.? If you could have your work associated with another poet, who would it be and why?

It'd definitely fall into contemporary. I think my work is rather straight-forward and less flowery than most. I look for a flow throughout the work, something that starts feebly, crescendos into drama in the middle, and ends in a way that makes the reader sit there thinking, "Oh."

What is your 'process' for writing poetry? I think about what I'm feeling about a particular subject. Am I sad? Happy? What's the first, visceral reaction do I have to something? From there, I just write. Words that rhyme or sound good together, and later on after a bit of a break, I look back and revise some word selections. I've definitely taken to drinking a glass of wine or beer sometimes for writer's block.

I know a lot of poets/novelists, writers in general, struggle with marketing themselves and their services. Have you ever encountered this feeling? If so, how did you overcome it?

All the time! Poetry especially come from emotions and experiences, so sharing my work feels very vulnerable and exposing. For this book, my publisher guides me on marketing strategies and really putting myself out there, but there's that nagging, humbleness so inherent in Asian culture that I have a hard time marketing myself. I'm learning to do that though, as I was reminded recently how important it is to celebrate myself, too. It's just really scary. It's definitely a fine line.

What are your methods for overcoming 'writer's block'? What do you do when you can't seem to find inspiration?

I go through my day, keeping the issue at the back of my mind. My day usually inspires me and sparks an idea. So I'd be there, running on the treadmill, and the solution kind of plays itself in my head and that's the "Aha!" moment.

A lot of writers struggle with time management. Do you have a day job? If so, how do you balance work, writing (poetry and your novel), family, and personal time?

Writing is not a friend of time management. Writing is a very creative and emotional energy, it's not something you can just block out on your calendar and assume it'll all work out. I'm a full-time student, so that makes it quite exhausting because I'm writing papers and doing readings that go beyond lecture time. The majority of revisions, the parts that make my book what it is now, was done while I was studying abroad, so I was lucky in that sense. I had a lot more time since I was on my own, and when I was traveling, those intercontinental train rides take hours! I was basically a quintessential indie film, writing my heart out as the European countryside passed me by.

What change would you like to see within the writing community and why?

I would like to see more diversity in mainstream publications! I was listening to a podcast on how homogenous the publishing industry is, and that's definitely true. I came up on a few cultural differences while creating my book. They weren't bad experiences, but it'd be nice to have a person of color, understand your work and where you're coming from.

Where do you expect to see yourself (as a writer) in the next five years? The next ten years?

In the next five years, I hope to have published another book. I'm not sure if that'll be another poetry collection, or something else entirely. Currently, I'm hung up on relationships (I'm a Psychology major!) and interested in couple/family dynamics. So I'm inspired to do something along those lines. In ten years? I'd love to be a novelist or a well-known screenwriter/producer.

Interview conducted by Nazlı Karabıyıkoğlu, who is the Interview Editor for Marías at Sampaguitas. She is an author from Turkey, enthusiastic traveler, Feminist activist, and Mother of four cats and countless animals all over the world. Full-time resident in Georgia, escaped from the oppression in Turkey. Has 5 published books in Turkish. For further information: www.nazlikarabiyikoglu.com.

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Filipinx American Spotlight: Interview with Ashley C. Lanuza

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Name: Ashley L. Hometown: City of Angels, Golden State, Land of Capitalist Endeavors (LA, CA, USA) School: Go Bruins (UCLA) Dream Jobs: Executive Film/Television Producer to diversify media representation, especially for People of Color...Screenwriter...Novelist. Food of Choice: Noodles, Sushi Rolls, Dessert, more noodles Drink of Choice: I love the two clear drinks available in this society: Water and...

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AAPIHM Profile: Rising Filipino American Author Ashley Lanuza | Her Campus

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AAPIHM Profile: Rising Filipino American Author Ashley Lanuza | Her Campus

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Her Campus | HerCampus.com is the #1 global community for college women, written entirely by the nation's top college journalists from 380+ campus chapters around the world.

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The month of May celebrates Asian-American Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month. This celebration recognizes the influences, contributions and achievements of the AAPI community in the United States. From its history to its rich culture and its people, commemorating AAPIHM recognizes the strengths and resilience of the AAPI community.

Her Campus had the privilege of interviewing a rising Asian American author, Ashley Lanuza. A graduating UCLA senior with a major in Psychology, Lanuza paints her experiences as a Filipino American as she navigates the world she grew up in through her latest book, My Heart of Rice: A Poetic Filipino American Experience. During the interview, Lanuza shares her journey about being Fil-Am through the poetic retelling of her book through food, family and love for her culture.

Ashley Lanuza

Her Campus: When did you start writing? What are the inspirations for your writing?

Ashley Lanuza: I started writing when I was six years old. I wrote an alternative ending to a movie I had no business of seeing: Titanic. However, I really took writing seriously when I was 12 years old and won a city-wide poetry competition. Since then, I was inspired by the people around me, the events in my life and the feelings I would try to process. I've written short stories for friends, articles during political events, speeches for eulogies and poems to reflect on my thoughts, anxieties and feelings.

HC: What do you do when you encounter writer's block? Do you keep writing or do you take a pause and start again at a later time, etc.?

AL: When it comes to writer's block, I stop writing. I've tried word-vomiting, but it never really works for me. So, I just stop and do something else on my list. I usually get over the block when I'm walking to a destination or running on the treadmill- then once it hits me, I immediately write it down on my phone.

HC: What was the writing process like for you when you wrote My Heart of Rice?

AL: The process was very inconsistent. It takes a lot of discipline to keep a consistent schedule, especially as a college student, and I'm still working on it. But I always found time to write when I knew I was in a head space to, like after work or once I've completed my assignments for the day. However, the work you see now has been revised four or five times! I did all my revisions while I was abroad, so the writing process varied from evenings at a café in The Hague to seven-hour train rides between Amsterdam and Paris.

HC: How did you structure your chapters or which poems fit in where?

AL: I kept the timeline of past, present and future. The structures are chronological to what I had experienced, what I learned and what I thought of. I also thought about internal and external experiences. The collection starts off external- the food I'm exposed to. Then it touches on internal reflections. Then again external at school, and internal, and external and- you get the picture. The most obvious example of this is the external narratives from Chapter 9 to 12, then moving internally at Chapter 13 during a reflection period.

HC: I see that you incorporated a lot of historical narratives from Fil-Am history, how did you flow your stories and experiences to fit these with your own personal experiences?

AL: If you look at this work chronologically, of what parts are absorbed internally, Fil-Am history is what really opened my mind on this topic and piqued my interest in the academic sense. When I was able to empathize with these narratives and understand the human emotion, the pain and joy, that came with these histories, that was when I understood how important being Filipino American meant to me. If you take that idea, it fits into my journey as one of many "aha" moments that catalyze the rest of the collection.

HC: You weave together your experiences of being Filipina with growing up around Filipino and Hispanic communities (of Eagle Rock and Pasadena). How big do you think this impacted you retelling your stories through poetry? How do you think this helped or made it difficult to navigate identity growing up?

AL: Eagle Rock is known to be a very Filipino community, so I had all the food establishments around me and the people I saw were almost always Filipino. This type of community helped me make sense of what being Filipino was, but that's as far as it went because my family didn't participate in any cultural events if there were any around, to begin with. In Pasadena/San Gabriel, there are racial enclaves, but none were specifically Filipino. I was able to forget what it meant to be Filipino outside of the family, so in terms of navigating my identity, it made it a bit more difficult and also easy. These environments made it easier to think "out of sight, out of mind" because Filipino-ness no longer surrounded me. If anything, being Filipino felt nostalgic because it was tied to my home in Eagle Rock that I lived in for 14 years, compared to the San Gabriel Valley, where I lived in for only 4 to 5 years. There are a lot of senses involved with a neighborhood- sight, smells, sounds- that poetry felt the most genuine way to convey these feelings. I remember visiting Eagle Rock while in college and immediately wrote out a short poem about the streets I used to frequent. Both of these communities were a large impact to retelling my story, and poetry just felt the most heartfelt way to do so.

HC: What was your favorite part of the process in writing and producing My Heart of Rice?

AL: My favorite part about writing My Heart of Rice was seeking out the research and literature surrounding Filipino American histories. I remember geeking out about the papers I found, labeling some as "just for fun" reads even if it didn't particularly pertain to my work. Conveying academia into creative art was incredibly rewarding because it felt accessible and beautiful, even though the content was rather traumatizing and painful to read.

HC: Finally, congrats on becoming a published author at such a young age! How does it feel?

AL: It feels weird and it doesn't feel real! I think I'm still in denial that I have a book out. My mind is interpreting it like I just released a random article online, but no, it's a full-blown book?! But I'm also super grateful. Not only for the opportunity but for the community of editors and supporters that motivated me to complete this work.

HC: Is there any advice you'd give aspiring writers who one day want to become published authors?

AL: Write from what you know. I was originally going to write an interview-based book on becoming a successful writer, but it didn't feel genuine to me. Then, I brought the idea for My Heart of Rice, which was actually conceived long before my deal, and was encouraged to just do it. This was the content I felt the most personal satisfaction, so my advice is to not bullsh*t your way in. Speak from the heart. My other advice is to also speak with your mind and go with your guts. As a woman of color, completely new to the publishing industry, I was constantly intimidated. But I knew that this was a dream. I wanted it as perfect as it could possibly be, so I went with every gut decision and constantly asserted my voice with all decisions.

HC: What's next? Any projects or endeavors lined up for you? What should we look out for in the near future?

AL: Currently, I'm just trying to graduate! I'm also thinking to publish a blog on studying abroad as a first-generation college woman. I had the blessed opportunity to experience a semester abroad in Europe, and there are a lot of caveats to those experiences. I learned to juggle a long-distance relationship, solo travels between countries, different cultures and languages, Dutch culture in contrast to American, and how to manage my bank account. There's a lot of knowledge I want to share so that people can learn from my mistakes! In terms of publications, I hope I can write another book. I'm hesitant to do poetry because I don't really want to be stuck in a niche, but it's also my first love, so I'm not completely opposed.

We had so much fun getting to know Lanuza through this interview! Her passion for her culture is what strengthens the AAPI community, and it is only rightfully so that we give them the center stage during the month of May. For more information on Lanuza's work, you can check out the behind-the-scenes of her book. We cannot wait to see what Lanuza dives into the near future with her talent, wit and heart. Congratulations on publishing your first book as well as your nearing graduation!

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AAPIHM Profile: Rising Filipino American Author Ashley Lanuza | Her Campus

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The month of May celebrates Asian-American Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month. This celebration recognizes the influences, contributions and achievements of the AAPI community in the United States. From its history to its rich culture and its people, commemorating AAPIHM recognizes the strengths and resilience of the AAPI community.

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Ashley Lanuza - "Exit on Verdugo" - Sunday Jump [05/01/22]

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Ashley Lanuza - Sunday Jump - Un/Rest to Restoration Open Mic 

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Ashley Lanuza - Sunday Jump - Un/Rest to Restoration Open Mic 

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Ashley Lanuza - Sunday Jump - Un/Rest to Restoration Open Mic [8/1/21]

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Ashley Lanuza - Sunday Jump - Break Through the Silence 

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Ashley Lanuza - Sunday Jump - Break Through the Silence 

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Ashley Lanuza - Sunday Jump - Break Through the Silence [4/5/2020]

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The Art of Rice: Symbol and Meaning in Southeast Asian Village Tradition

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The Art of Rice: Symbol and Meaning in Southeast Asian Village Tradition

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By Rashaan Meneses

Before Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity, the predominant religions in Southeast Asia revolved around rice, ecology, and the environment. Throughout Asia, rice is still considered sacred and the ritual of harvesting rice has shaped Southeast Asian cultures and tradition for centuries.

On Tuesday, June 1, 2004, Dr. Eric Crystal gave a talk co-sponsored by the UCLA Art Department and the UCLA Center for Southeast Asian Studies on "The Art of Rice: Symbol and Meaning in Southeast Asian Village Tradition" illustrated with slides and video footage. Dr. Crystal is an anthropologist and photographer. A lecturer for the University of California, Berkeley, Group in Asian Studies, he is also the retired vice-chair of the UCB Center for Southeast Asia Studies. In his talk, Dr. Crystal examined the sacred meaning in Southeast Asia of the staple food that feeds more than three billion people in the world.

Crystal explained that rice has informed many aspects of Southeast Asian village tradition, including religion and social order. In many parts of Southeast Asia, a three-class system has ordered society hierarchically. Those who owned land for cultivating rice were the most powerful. "Rank was noted in the size and quantity of the rice," he said. The size of a person's house and rice granaries distinguished the wealthy from the poor. In many places, rice granaries have been designed to resemble human houses, indicating the close connection between humans and their rice.

A great deal of time and detail is dedicated to creating elaborate storage facilities and containers for rice. As Dr. Crystal noted, "special ceremonies may take place when rice is brought in from the fields and installed into the granary." All the areas where rice is found, such as fields, granaries, and distilleries, are considered sacred spaces.

Included in the slide presentation were images of the intricate designs painted on rice granaries. For the Toraja peoples in South Sulawesi, Indonesia, rice rituals are often carried out in the morning and "rice is oftentimes related to rising suns." Many of the Toraja granaries are decorated with bright gold sunburst designs. The sun is often depicted as "the crowning element" of the granary. Dr. Crystal stated, "granaries are art spaces for the people. Some of the artisans are fed and paid for their full time work."

In Asian cultures, rice is strongly "associated with women and fertility" and religious ceremonies have been conducted mainly for "assurance of rice, fecundity of domestic animals, and propagation of human species." Throughout Southeast Asia and specifically in Indonesia, "people harvest rice with small finger knives so the rice goddess doesn't become upset." Both in Indonesia and the Philippines, senior skilled women have traditionally used delicate hand knives to carefully select the seed rice for future harvests. Many Southeast Asian cultures believe in a female rice deity and still today they make offerings and practice rituals to honor her.

The Rice Mother

In Java and Bali, the rice goddess is known as Dewi Sri. Among the Tai Yong of Northern Thailand, she is called Mae Ku'sok, and to other Southeast Asian cultures she is simply referred to as the "Rice Mother" or "Rice Maiden."

The Tai are the single largest ethnolinguistic group across mainland Southeast Asia. As Dr. Crystal reports, the Tai believe that the Rice Mother inhabits the rice field, protecting the harvest and nurturing the seed rice. Showing slides of Tai rice fields, Crystal explained, "the Rice Mother loves textiles and jewelry. She comes to visit the rice field at harvest time, so the villagers make a marker for her. They plant seeds next to the marker and use those seedlings for the next year."

In some rituals, a symbolic body of the Rice Mother is made out of straw and serves as the marker, which is then tied to a straw latticework and attached to a vertical bamboo stick so that the marker can stand upright in a special corner of the rice field. Offerings of meat, betel nut, white homespun cotton cloth, silver jewelry, and sarongs are placed next to the marker by a priest.

Southeast Asian rice rituals are as varied as they are numerous. Dr. Crystal was able to attend the dramatic Ma' Bua Ceremony of the Sa'dan Toraja in South Sulawesi, Indonesia. Every twelve years the ceremony takes place to celebrate "good harvest." Carried out in sacred fields, the grounds are marked by three special types of trees: sandalwood, banyan, and lamba. The ceremony usually takes place in October or November.

As the day of the ceremony nears, large bamboo structures are erected. Families sacrifice small female pigs and offer the collarbone of the pig, which is a symbol of fecundity. Dr. Crystal described the ceremony, which begins "in the dead of night." They will illuminate the sacred ground "with huge bonfires of hardwood that has been dried and seasoned for months. The Toraja have so far been able to maintain their indigenous religious belief system and rituals despite the fact that they are a minority ethnic group, living on a majority-Muslim island.

New Technologies Erode Old Traditions

Not surprisingly, however, Eric Crystal stated that many of these rituals and the religions themselves are endangered. With modernization and new technologies rapidly spreading throughout Southeast Asian villages, the way rice is cultivated and harvested is changing as individuals and corporations try "to develop faster-producing grain." For more than two decades, the International Rice Research Institute, headquartered in the Philippines, has been introducing a small number of varieties that have gradually replaced a much larger number of highly diverse varieties that have been used for centuries. This has had devastating effects on the rice traditions and cultures of Southeast Asian villages. Rice is now frequently grown as a commercial product rather than through subsistence farming. With the use of new rice varieties, pesticides, fertilizers, and new technologies for harvesting rice, the rice culture and the delicate ecosystems that rice supports are changing dramatically.

As Dr. Crystal explained, "the traditional rice field is full of life. Even after rice is harvested, there are eels, frogs, and small fish that people gather." He stressed that "year after year, decade after decade, and millennia after millennia the rice field is renewed." But now all this may come to a halt.

In his video presentation, Dr. Crystal demonstrated the abundance of life that is supported by a traditional rice field ecosystem in rice terraces three thousand feet above sea level. During the rainy season, fish are harvested in these terraces. Ducks come after the rice harvest to eat the gleanings and lay eggs. As Dr. Crystal stated, "life is born and re-born, there's a constant cycle of birth and rebirth with rice." If measures are not taken to preserve this rich history and tradition, Dr. Crystal sadly predicts an unfortunate decline in rice culture and its associated art.

Eric Crystal's talk was largely an encore presentation of one given at an earlier symposium sponsored by the UCLA Fowler Museum of Cultural History held in conjunction with the traveling exhibition "The Art of Rice." The exhibit examines the interplay between rice and culture through a study of an astonishing array of visual art, including works from China, Japan, India, Indonesia, Korea, Thailand, the Philippines, and other Asian countries. The UCLA showing of the exhibit has closed but the continuing exhibition schedule includes:

Copia: The American Center for Wine, Food, & the Arts, Napa Valley, California, September 3 - November 29, 2004.

Honolulu Academy of Arts, Honolulu, Hawaii, February 16 - April 24, 2005.

A book, The Art of Rice: Spirit and Sustenance in Asia, was also issued in conjunction with the exhibition. A collection of essays by thirty-seven authors, including Eric Crystal, the book also has rich depictions and images of rice-related art and culture in Asia. It was published by the UCLA Fowler Museum of Cultural History. For more information see the website: http://www.fowler.ucla.edu/incEngine/

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The Art of Rice: Symbol and Meaning in Southeast Asian Village Tradition

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By Rashaan Meneses Before Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity, the predominant religions in Southeast Asia revolved around rice, ecology, and the environment. Throughout Asia, rice is still considered sacred and the ritual of harvesting rice has shaped Southeast Asian cultures and tradition for centuries.

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Impostor syndrome: Symptoms, types, and how to deal with it

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Impostor syndrome: Symptoms, types, and how to deal with it

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People with impostor syndrome doubt their achievements and ability and fear that they may be a fraud.

Impostor syndrome can affect anyone, regardless of job or social status, but high-achieving individuals often experience it.

Psychologists first described the syndrome in 1978. According to a 2020 review, of people experience impostor syndrome. The numbers may vary depending on who participates in a study.

Many people experience symptoms for a limited time, such as in the first few weeks of a new job. For others, the experience can be lifelong.

In this article, we discuss the ways impostor syndrome occurs and some ways to overcome it.

A person with impostor syndrome has:

a sense of being a fraud

fear of being discovered

difficulty internalizing their success

Having a sense of self-doubt can help a person assess their achievements and ability, but too much self-doubt can adversely impact a person's self-image.

This can lead to symptoms of distress known as impostor syndrome, which can affect the following aspect of a person's life.

Work performance

The person may fear that their colleagues and supervisors expect more from them than they can manage. They may feel unable to deliver.

The person may fear that their colleagues and supervisors expect more from them than they can manage. They may feel unable to deliver.

The fear of not succeeding may cause a person to hold themselves back and avoid seeking higher achievements. This, along with the fear of doing things wrong, their overall job performance.

Taking on responsibilities

People with impostor syndrome may focus heavily on limited tasks instead of taking on additional duties that can prove their abilities, according to research published in 2014.

They may avoid taking on additional tasks for fear that they will distract from or compromise the quality of their other tasks.

Self-doubt

Success can create a cycle of self-doubt for people with impostor syndrome. Even when the person achieves an important milestone, they may be unable to recognize their accomplishments.

Instead of celebrating their achievements, the person may worry that others will discover the "truth" about their abilities.

Attributing success to outside factors

Individuals with impostor syndrome deny their competency. They may feel that their successes are due to outside factors or chance.

Similarly, when things go wrong due to external reasons, the person may blame themselves.

Job dissatisfaction and burnout

In some cases, a person may not feel sufficiently challenged in their work, but a fear of failure or discovery stops them from seeking promotion or extra responsibility.

As the person works to overcome feelings of inadequacy, they may also have a higher risk of burnout.

Results of the 2014 study suggest that people with impostor syndrome tend to stay in their positions because they do not believe that they can do better. The person may undervalue their skills or fail to recognize how other roles might place more importance on their abilities.

Avoid seeking promotion

Undervaluing skills and abilities can lead those with impostor syndrome to deny their worth. They may avoid seeking promotion or a raise because they do not believe they deserve it.

In the original 1978 study, one academic believed there must have been a mistake in the selection process when they received their appointment, as they did not see how they could be deserving of the role.

Focus on tasks and goal-setting

A fear of failure and the need to be the best can sometimes lead to overachievement.

The person may set themselves extremely challenging goals and experienced disappointment when they are unable to achieve them.

Mental health impact

The fear of not being good enough can lead to mental health complications, in some cases. The person may experience:

However, experts do not consider impostor syndrome a mental health condition.

Dr. Valerie Young, author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It, has identified five types of "impostors."

The expert will not feel satisfied when finishing a task until they feel that they know everything about the subject. The time spent searching for information can make it hard to complete tasks and projects.

The perfectionist experiences high levels of anxiety, doubt, and worry, especially when they set themselves extreme goals that they are unable to achieve. A perfectionist will focus on areas where they could have done better rather than celebrate their achievements.

Natural geniuses master many new skills quickly and easily, and they may feel ashamed and weak when faced with a goal that is too hard. Learning that everyone needs to struggle to achieve some goals may help.

The soloist, or "rugged individualist," prefers to work alone, fearing that asking for help will reveal incompetence. The person may turn down help in an attempt to prove their self-worth.

Superheroes often excel due to extreme effort, as in "workaholism." This can lead to burnout, which can affect physical and mental well-being and relationships with others.

While anyone can develop impostor syndrome, several factors increase the risk, including:

New challenges: A recent opportunity or success, such as a promotion, can trigger a sense of "impostorism." The person may feel undeserving of the new position or that they will be unable to perform adequately.

Family environment: When a person grows up alongside a "gifted" sibling, they may internalize feelings of inadequacy that are not justified. At the same time, a person who finds it easy to perform well during childhood may experience doubts when faced with a task that is hard to achieve.

Being from a marginalized population group: suggests that people from some ethnic groups may be more at risk. The experience of discrimination may play a role.

Having depression and anxiety: These are common among people with impostor syndrome.

While many studies focus on females, research suggests that age and gender do not affect the likelihood of experiencing impostor syndrome.

There is currently no specific treatment for impostor syndrome, but people can seek help from a mental health professional if they have concerns about its impact on their life.

The following steps can also help a person manage and overcome a sense of inadequacy related to impostor syndrome.

Talk about it

Sharing feelings with or getting feedback from a trusted colleague, friend, or family member can help a person develop a more realistic perspective on their abilities and competence.

Some recommend group therapy as a treatment option, as many people with impostor syndrome mistakenly believe that only they have these feelings, leading to isolation.

Opening up with a mental health professional may also enable a person to identify the reason for their feelings, giving them the chance to tackle the underlying causes.

Be aware of the symptoms

Knowing what impostor syndrome is and why it happens can help people spot the symptoms when they arise and apply strategies to overcome their doubts.

Accept that perfectionism is impossible

To have a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-worth, a person needs to accept both their strengths and weaknesses. Nobody is perfect, and mistakes are an inevitable part of life.

Learning to accept that things sometimes go wrong can increase resilience and mental well-being.

Challenge negative thoughts

Swapping negative thoughts for positive ones is a key step toward overcoming impostor syndrome.

Tips include:

celebrating current achievements

recalling past successes

keeping a record of positive feedback from others

Cognitive-behavioral therapy aims to improve coping strategies by challenging unhelpful thinking patterns.

Impostor syndrome is not a recognized disorder, and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ( Fifth Edition) (DSM-5) does not list criteria for diagnosing it. However, some believe it should have this status.

Mental health professionals can help people who experience impostor syndrome and anxiety or other symptoms that occur with it.

Many people experience symptoms of impostor syndrome at some time. It is important to remember that perceptions do not always reflect reality.

Ways of overcoming it include talking about fears and challenging negative thoughts. Keeping a record of achievements and celebrating successes can be beneficial.

It may help to work with a mental health professional, especially when symptoms persist or severely impact a person's mental health and quality of life.

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Impostor syndrome: Symptoms, types, and how to deal with it

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People with impostor syndrome doubt their achievements and ability and fear that they may be a fraud. Impostor syndrome can affect anyone, regardless of job or social status, but high-achieving individuals often experience it. Psychologists first described the syndrome in 1978. According to a 2020 review, of people experience impostor syndrome.

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A boba liberal is usually an upper middle class East or Southeast Asian living in the West, typically in the United State or Canada, who identifies as a liberal. However their association with liberal ideology and liberalism is simply a means to increase their proximity to whiteness or to pretend to be white themselves. Boba liberals use their Asianness to speak on behalf of the Asian population in the West, using talking points created by white liberals, which has a tendency to gaslight actual issues faced by the Asian diaspora. The Asian identity of boba liberals is very shallow since it goes directly against their goal of aspiring to whiteness, so they use surface level stereotypical Asian traits such as "liking boba tea" to boaster their Asian credentials. Liking boba tea does not require much personal investment since many people like boba tea and is a fairly harmless non-opinion to take unlike, for example, "the United States should not interfere in China's domestic affairs," or "Asians suffer from systemic bipartisan conservative as well as liberal racism."

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An middle/upper middle class Asian person (often woman) who has little connection to Asian culture except for superficial things (like Boba, hence the name), and tends to lean towards self-hating, progressive ideas and see's dating white people as "leveling up". They want to be white, but when the time comes they pull out their "I'm Asian" card to speak on behalf of the entire Asian diaspora which are often white, liberal talking points that just further piss off other Asians.

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An Individual of East/SouthEast Asian descent who pretends to be "pro social justice" and "pro diversity" but does not care to speak out on issues harming their own race or community, and typically also :
- has no experience in life with racism

- has a small to non existent Non White circle or at the very least, a small to non existent Asian circle
-only dates white people whilw claiming to be pro diversity and claiming that "all races are equally attractive"
- pushes for Non Asian People of Color to have opportunities but doesn't care for Asians to be in the same position
- views their own race as the perpetrators of injustice towards non white POC
-believes that White people are the enemy but has a 90% All White social circle and only is familiar with Anglo Saxon culture
-puts down their own race by ignoring all issues affecting their own race and believing that it is impossible for Asians to be a victim due to "privilege" but still claims to be a "pro Asian advocate"

Examples include:
Nextshark 's entire online community, The Love Life of An Asian guy , "Ranier Maningding", Constance Wu, Eileen Huang from Tedxtalks, and most Asian BLM supporters

Eileen:"I don't see racism in our community. We Asians are too privileged to experience racism and must acknowledge our anti Blackness."
Everyone with a brain:" Wow, what a Boba Liberal"

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A boba liberal is usually an upper middle class East or Southeast Asian living in the West, typically in the United State or Canada, who identifies as a liberal. However their association with liberal ideology and liberalism is simply a means to increase their proximity to whiteness or to pretend to…

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Are there any nostalgic foods that remind you of home?

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Are there any nostalgic foods that remind you of home?

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What specific quotes or passages among Ashely's poetry resonated with you the most?

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What specific quotes or passages among Ashely's poetry resonated with you the most?

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What does being Filipino/a/x mean to you?

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What does being Filipino/a/x mean to you?

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For many, wondering whether or not being Filipino/a/x enough is a sentiment that many others share. How do you confront this? 

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For many, wondering whether or not being Filipino/a/x enough is a sentiment that many others share. How do you confront this? 