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This is a text from my grandmother. It is a very typical text from her: she will often write a long paragraph in an email-like style, and end it with "I ❤️ U". In this closing, the emoji stands in for the word "love". It conveys information directly, because it is used as a word itself. It is a very easy and effective use of emojis, which may be why somebody like my grandmother can do it. Somebody who uses the Internet a lot, and who texts younger people a lot, will have no trouble understanding the nuances of how many emoji are used, even when they are used unintuitively. My grandmother doesn't have as much exposure to emoji, so she only uses the most self-explanatory ones. But ❤️ means love to every generation, so it is easy to use it to stand in for the word.

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This is an example of expressive communication through emojis. This text came from my boyfriend, who is often the first person to tell me about important political events. In this message, the goal was to tell me about the US government buying iodine pills (an antidote to radiation poisoning), suggesting that the government thinks nuclear war is enough of a possibility that we need to prepare. The upside-down smiley face emoji is meant to communicate his views on this news. Many of my peers use this emoji to indicate not happiness, but alarm; it means something like "send help" or "I'm acting fine but things really aren't fine" (a viral tweet from a few years ago described it as being similar to flying a flag upside down). In the context of this text, the emoji indicates that he is concerned about the news and also helplessness about the fact that everyday citizens can't do much about it. Since the emoji expresses his emotions, it is expressive communication.

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This is an example of emojis being used for phatic communication. The emojis don't add a ton to the discussion other than framing that specific text. The goal of the text was to tease (though not refute) the idea that freedom is the most important thing to consider in politics. Adding these emojis was therefore meant to contribute to that goal. They make it clearer that the message is not entirely serious because they are symbols that we would expect from somebody who is over the top about their views on freedom. The eagle and the flag help to frame the text within the conversation by showing that the text is meant to be a joke, at least to a certain extent, by making the message of the text seem excessively strong.

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The first article comments on the difference between men's and women's speech. It is fairly consistent with the findings of Deborah Tannen's book "You Just Don't Understand!", which claims that women use language to build relationships (rapport style) and men use it to accomplish more 'practical' tasks (report style). The Huffington Post article makes a similar comment; women are emotional and use language to share their emotions, while men use language in a solution-driven way. The other article, from Elle Australia, suggests that women apologize too much. This means that our genuine apologies are seen as less significant that they would be if we didn't apologize so much. (Not everything in this article is a linguistic variable-some of it is a more general "stop apologizing for what you wear" or "for doing well", but others are linguistic. Women are anecdotally more likely to say sorry for having to repeat themselves, for example.) It also reflects the women's side of the difference model: women use language to be agreeable and maintain relationships even when there is no threat to a relationship over something small. The second article references a specific linguistic variable but does not use any data to support its claim. The first article doesn't make any specific claim about the difference in speech and it (unsurprisingly) doesn't use any data. It is noteworthy that both of these articles were written by women, which suggests that the author's goal is to help women be taken more seriously rather than to criticize women for a pet peeve.

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https://www.elle.com.au/culture/women-need-to-stop-saying-sorry-24986

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Be assertive, not apologetic.

Women say sorry too much. Sure, sometimes the word is warranted-you sneeze at work, apologise; you accidentally bump someone on the commute home, apologise. But so sorry's are uttered because society has conditioned us to be apologetic, when in fact, we should be exercising our assertiveness instead.

In honour of women being brave and standing up, lifestyle brands JD Sports and adidas have teamed up to release a new campaign entitled Watch Us Move, celebrating an all-star cast of inspirational female creatives. From artist A.Girl to artist and songwriter Jessica Jade, we asked the 9 female creatives for their thoughts on what women need to stop apologising for.

Stop Saying Sorry For How You Feel

For DJ and radio host Naomi Salim, it's about not saying sorry for how we feel. "Every emotion we share is valid and we shouldn't need to apologise for the way we express ourselves," she says.

And she's right, if there's one thing women need to stop apologising for (or attempting to justify), it's emotions. For too long we've hidden how angry certain behaviours make us, or been afraid to show how we're really feeling in fear the reaction, or better yet "overreaction" might be labelled (hint, it's always "too emotional").

Well, not anymore-if the recent March 4 Justice protests have proved anything, it's that women aren't afraid to show exactly how angry they are. The stance seems to be working too, with Chanel Contos' recent activism leading to the launch of Operation Vest, a new protocol for sexual assault reporting in Australia, and a wider conversation sparked thanks to Brittany Higgins' bravery in coming forward.

Stop Saying Sorry For Simply Existing

Women have long been conditioned to apologise for simply existing, whether it's because our body hair grew out just a little too much than society deems acceptable (honestly, who's got the time to shave!), or we're blamed for men's bad behaviour with stupid, outdated tropes that continue to be spun to victim blame-including, but not limited to, phrases like "her outfit was asking for it."

Movement artist Caetlyn Watson says its time we stop apologising for the things that just make us who we are. "I believe that womxn should stop apologising for having body hair. I think it's a beautiful means of self expression, not to mention completely natural to every one of us, and ultimately it's super empowering to see another woman expressing herself freely without conforming to the limitations that society has put on us as a community."

Dancer and model Lydia Kivela agrees, saying women shouldn't be afraid of features that make them feminine. "Women need to stop saying sorry for being feminine. Feminine features and traits are valid, important and crucial to our well being and existence. Femininity isn't a joke."

Stop Saying Sorry For Doing Well

"Women need to stop apologising for being assertive and claiming all the opportunities and blessings that they deserve. Women need to stop apologising for their excellence to make men feel more comfortable", says artist Maina Doe.

Similarly, DJ and skateboarder C.FRIM feels we're apologising too much for "taking up space" and "being assertive". It's not our job to make other people (usually men) feel better about themselves by reducing our successes or minimising our excellence. If our wins make others feel small, that's their issue - not ours.

It's time to be proud of our successes and yeah, be vocal about them too.

Stop Saying Sorry For Pushing Back

Singer/songwriter and movement artist GLO wants us to be done with apologising for having boundaries. "One thing I've learned to stop saying sorry for is knowing my value and sense of self-worth. Hard work ought to be paid off and we as womxn can say no if we feel as though our work is being undervalued."

How often do you find yourself apologising for asking for a raise at work? Or even, in a very simple circumstance, apologising because you can't chat to that friend who keeps making the same mistakes, then relying on you to listen to their problems for hours? Our value and self-worth isn't just about hustling at work, we need to stop apologising for setting boundaries with friends and family, too. Your down-time is important and choosing to treasure it isn't wrong.

Stop Saying Sorry For What You Wear

Artist A Girl feels it's time we recognise that our decisions are exactly that-ours. "Women NEED to stop saying sorry to people around them who aren't accepting of what they wear. IT IS YOUR BODY AND YOUR CHOICE ! YOU DO YOU!"

Maybe you're not verbally apologising, but feeling shame or like you need to compromise your style to fit in is, in a way, being apologetic. And you don't need to be - wear what you want, and do it confidently.

Stop Saying Sorry For Having To Repeat Yourself

WE need to stop saying sorry for asking things to get done, when you've asked them a million times. WE need to stop saying sorry to guys when we say NO, let em know they can't keep asking. I'm going to stop saying sorry for my insecurities and embrace them! artist and songwriter Jessica Jade.

Stop Saying Sorry For Not Consenting

For Kilia Pahulu, it's about consent - and not apologising when we don't give it, and being clear when we do. "Trans women and sex workers must be unapologetic about giving consent because our silence is unsafe. We do not consent to being killed."

You do not owe anyone your body, and being clear about what you will and won't do, without apology, is our right. You do not need to apologise because you changed your mind about sex, a sex act, or any sexual interaction - and you certainly should not be met with aggression, which is sadly often the case - particularly for trans women and sex workers. Let's all support our sisters and fight for consent to be honoured - and for violence against women to be dealt with properly, both by society and government.

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7 Things Women Need To Stop Apologising For

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Be assertive, not apologetic. Women say sorry too much. Sure, sometimes the word is warranted-you sneeze at work, apologise; you accidentally bump someone on the commute home, apologise. But so sorry's are uttered because society has conditioned us to be apologetic, when in fact, we should be exercising our assertiveness instead.

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https://www.huffpost.com/entry/men-vs-women-communication-styles-explained_b_59dc8d69e4b060f005fbd6ab

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Stemming back to the days of Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus, we have understood that there are some fundamental differences between the way men and women think and feel. This difference could not be more apparent in the way in which we communicate, and in the goals of our communication. By and large women are wired with one set of want and needs in terms of communication, and men are wired with another. The two are quite different, but the awareness of the others needs and goals can completely change interactions and our understanding of one another. This one simple explanation has had a profound impact on the way that many couples interact with one another, and are better able to support the other's needs. So, what are these simple truth's I speak of?

Women are emotional and evocative by nature. I do not mean by this that we are emotional messes, incapable of rational thought. I mean that we have different goals when we communication. When we are telling out partner about our day, or about a situation that has happened, we are simply asking them to listen to us. We need to be heard, supported, and understood. We don't need someone to be a bobble head who agrees with us, but we do need them to hear us out and try to understand where we are coming from. The mere act of being able to get something off our chest, and talk it out, is often all we need to feel better, and that we have processed through a situation.

Men are typically more analytical and pragmatic. By this I mean, they assume if we are telling them something, we are asking them to fix it. When their partner starts to tell them about a person or situation that is frustrating them, their mind immediately starts to come up with questions, possibilities and solutions to a problem that may not actually exist. They are problem and solution oriented, and it does not automatically occur to them that all that may be required of them is listen and be a sounding board for their partner.

This is not just a sweeping generalization. This is experience from years and years of working with couples, and verification time and time again, that this is indeed the dynamic, and the way that each person thinks, how they operate, and what they need. It is like a lightbulb goes off when the other person grows to understand that this is how the other person operates, and this is where they have been coming from all this time. When couples learn to ask for what they need, or ask their partner what they need from them in an interaction, you can literally see the body language relax. I practice this myself, and will preface conversations with, "I just need you to listen to me. I just need you to hear me out. I don't need you to fix anything, and I don't need anything else from you." This makes intentions clear to the other person, and makes them relaxed and more able to give you what you need, because your needs and expectations are transparent.

The same works for men. If what they are hoping for is some practical advice, and they feel like all they get is someone who sits and listens, but offers little feedback or solutions in return, they merely ask for what they need. Tell your partner that you are really struggling with a person or situation, and that you really want to run something by them and get their advice. That there are no one else you trust like them, or feel comfortable talking about this with. Now your partner is more alert, aware, and engaged, as you need them to be. With this newfound understanding of how each of you communicates and operates, as well as what your ultimate communication goals are, you will have more productive, and more pleasant interactions. You will be able to meet each other's needs and support each other in a way that you never have been able to before.

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Men vs. Women: Communication Styles Explained

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Stemming back to the days of Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus, we have understood that there are some fundamental differences between the way men and women think and feel. This difference could not be more apparent in the way in which we communicate, and in the goals of our communication.

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I have made a slight change to my research question: I have combined the TA and professor categories because it was very challenging to get meaningful amounts of data from both of these groups. As of 10:39 PM, I have 50 tokens. 31 are from instructors, and 19 are from students.

I am aware that this is far below the goal. Unfortunately I had terrible luck with the lectures I observed for the past week. I had better luck watching recorded lectures on Youtube, so I will continue to do that over the weekend. My experience so far suggests that social science instructors answer the most questions during classes, so I will prioritize these classes as much as possible.

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I am researching variations of the words "yes" and "no". Variants such as "yeah", "yep", and "nope" appear in more informal speech. I am interested in whether there is a difference between how students, TAs, and professors use the different variants during class, and my hypothesis was that students would speak the most informally, professors the most formally, and TAs in between. As of 11:30 AM on the October 19th, I have collected 34 tokens. 13 are from TAs, 15 are from students, and 6 are from professors. I will continue sitting in on classes and watching lecture recordings on YouTube to collect more data, with a focus on professors.

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This shirt appears on Etsy, although similar shirts can be found in the bookstore at Harvard University. Harvard is near Boston, a city known for r-dropping, which is a stigmatized variant. This shirt's use of "ah" instead of "ar" therefore suggests some covert prestige associated with the variant.
R-dropping is typically associated with the working and middle classes, and with the less educated. This group in society is very different than the people associated with Harvard; they are among the most respected, educated, and often the wealthiest members of society. It is unexpected for a Harvard student or graduate to drop their r's. This shirt is likely intended to contrast the proper, 'pretentious' speech of Harvard students from the less prestigious speech of 'everyday' people.
In both of the places where it can be found (Etsy and the Harvard store), it has two different effects. When this shirt is licensed by the university, it is trying to convey a casualness and welcoming image. Harvard has long been seen as an elitist institution and they are taking small steps to change this perception. Seeing this shirt in the store might make lower class potential students think that they are welcome because people in Boston speak like they do, so they should fit in. In the Etsy store, however, the shirt comes across as mocking. Harvard graduates say "harvard", but "hahvahd" is how the school is pronounced by 'real' people, and there's nothing Harvard can do to stop it. R-dropping is associated with a lower level of education, but compared to Harvard students nearly everyone is uneducated. In this sense, the social group with lower prestige actually makes up such a huge amount of the population that the people who don't fit into it are the minority. In this sense, r-dropping signifies a casualness shared by a majority of the population, while keeping r's signifies a higher amount of education and potentially pretentiousness.

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Vintage Champion Hahvahd T Shirt Sz L - Etsy

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This Accessories item is sold by FasinFrankVtg. Ships from Canada. Listed on Jul 11, 2022

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Entry 3: Language, Place, and Advertising

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Entry 3: Language, Place, and Advertising

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I have chosen two examples of language use directed at the general public, in which the varieties used have opposite goals. The first example is a commercial which has aired frequently in my hometown on Long Island (and I imagine in NYC and New Jersey as well). This commercial takes advantage of r-dropping to make various phrases rhyme, especially the commerical's overall slogan, "The lendahs came to Linda". This ad is directed at anybody looking for a loan, suggesting all demographics except perhaps the upper class. Since r-dropping is common in this part of the world, the use of r-dropping in the commercial suggests that ordinary people such as the viewer are welcome at this company.

The second example I provided is a photo of a street sign in Dublin in May 2019 (the same sign was there as of July 2022). This sign is a PSA reminding people to clean up after their dogs. The text appears in two languages, but there is a clear difference in formality between the translations. The English text, "bin the poo", is far more colloquial than the Irish "glan suas é" (literally: clean it up). Due to the geographic distribution of Irish speakers, it is safe to assume that most people seeing this sign will be Anglophone. However, laws require anything written by the government including signs to be written in both of the country's official languages. The mismatch in formality therefore shows a desire to appear friendly and approachable to English speakers, but official and distant to Irish speakers. The creators of this sign wanted English speakers to have a quick laugh while hearing an important message, but only want to do the bare minimum to satisfy Irish speakers.

These two examples show an interesting contrast: the commercial makes its audience feel welcome, while the sign makes part of its audience feel unwelcome.

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There is a contrast in English regarding how the verb "to be" is conjugated in the first person plural. In some dialects it is "we was", and in others it is "we were". I have found an example of each of these constructions. Both came from searching recent tweets, ideally looking for tweets  with a similar level of formality (these tweets both discuss social justice issues affecting black people, and have a similar target audience of non-expert Twitter users). These specific examples show "to be" as a passive auxiliary in one case and a progressive aux in the other. However, other examples of their usages show that both forms seem possible in either of these constructions as well as for the copula verb.
The construction "we were" is standard English, while "we was" is used in AAVE. This is also clear from the rest of the tweets' contents: the tweet using "we were" is written in standard English, while the tweet using " we was" has other features of AAVE. In an informal setting such as Twitter, both of these forms are perfectly acceptable. However, "we were" is the prescribed construction, and it was the only construction I found professional accounts using (with one exception, which appeared to be a non-native English speaker). It is generally true that only "we were" appears in formal contexts.
In my dialect, only "we were" is grammatical. I recognize "we was", but I never produce it. It is interesting to note that despite how much "Gen Z English" originates from AAVE, I don't see my non-black peers using the "we was" construction. The use of this phrase does not align with any of my social groups, so I have no reason to use it.

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I have chosen to discuss controversy over the term "you guys". I am from Long Island, and in my variety of English "you guys"  or "guys" are colloquially used as the second person plural pronoun, regardless of the gender of the people in question. For clarification, "guys" is only gender neutral in my English when it is used in the second person; in the third person it must refer to men or older boys (ages 15 or so and older).

It is certainly easy to understand why people who are not familiar with this usage would think it's not gender neutral. English speakers generally agree that "guys" in the third person refers to men, so it is unexpected that in the second person, it can refer to people of any gender. As the urban dictionary post suggests, it can even be used when there are no men addressed.  But this is the way my (and other varieties of) English use this word.

The views expressed in the articles and posts I have attached are widespread. Supposedly, speakers who use "guys" as a gender neutral term are either intentionally creating an environment that is unwelcoming for non-men, or they are too stubborn to change their use of the language. The Fast Company article goes as far as calling this usage a "habit", rather than a variety. Both of the articles attached suggest that the world would be more welcoming if speakers of this variety would simply try harder to stop using this phrase, while the Urban Dictionary article suggests that the phrase suggests a sexist bias (in my anecdotal experience, men and women are equally likely to use "you guys"). These are all legitimate reasons for feeling excluded by this usage when someone is not familiar with it, and I understand why somebody's knee-jerk reaction would be to call it "bad" and to call someone defending it “wrong”. It is interesting to note that the usage of “you guys” is associated with geography more than any social class or group, and that it is widely used throughout the US. This suggests that negative responses to this variety likely stem from a genuinely held belief that it is wrong, rather than an attitude towards the people that use it.

I certainly understand why some people have the views that they do, and I think it would be respectful to make the adjustment around people who ask for it (i.e. if a specific person expresses discomfort with being included in the word "guys", I would try to avoid using this term around them). However, I also think more attention needs to be given to the fact that this is a linguistic variety, just like "y'all" or "youze". Using “you guys” regardless of gender is no more of a ‘habit’ than using “coke” to refer to Pepsi products. While it may be polite to try to avoid the term in some circumstances, we should also acknowledge that it is a part of many people’s English, and we should recognize that no harm is intended by it.

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"Hey, guys!" It's the greeting that launched a thousand meetings and Zoom calls.

Etymologists trace the term "guys" to the historical figure Guy Fawkes. It's evolved from the name of one man who attempted to assassinate King James I in 1605 to an informal address for a group of people in contemporary American English.

But when used to address your colleagues, it's a gendered greeting that could be sending signals about who is ― and isn't ― included in your workplace.

The Case Against Using "Hey, Guys"

The problem with "guys" is that it is a "masculine word," according to Amy Jeffers, an organizational development specialist in diversity, equity and inclusion. There are better alternatives, such as "Hey, everyone" or "Hey, folks" that are not gender-assuming, Jeffers added.

Sociologist Sherryl Kleinman wrote an essay in the journal Qualitative Sociology against terms such as "you guys" in 2002, pointing out that they reinforce a language that already privileges men. Kleinman cited words such as chairman, postman and freshman as other examples.

"'Get over it,' some people say," she wrote. "Those words are generic. They apply to everyone. But then how come so-called generics are always male?"

GLSEN, an education organization that advocates for policies designed to protect LGBTQ students and students of marginalized identities, advised defaulting to gender-neutral language such as "friends," "folks," "all" or "y'all" rather than "brothers and sisters" or "guys," "ladies," "ma'am" or "sir."

Gendered language creeps into work communication in other insidious ways. Think about how you describe colleagues you don't know. Do you default to "that guy" or "that woman?" GLSEN's guide suggested that when you have not been introduced to people and don't know their pronouns or gender identity, use descriptive language such as, "Can you give this paper to the person across the room with the white T-shirt and short brown hair?"

Using gender-neutral language is not about using "he" or "she" equally but asking yourself, "Why are we using he or she at all? Couldn't we just be using 'they'?" Jeffers said.

How To Correct Yourself Without Making It All About You

Mistakes are a part of learning. But it's important not to make your moment of learning someone else's hurtful experience.

Lily Zheng, a researcher on gender ambiguity in the workplace who is transgender, recounted this kind of experience in a 2019 podcast for the Harvard Business Review. Zheng recalled a time a colleague misgendered them, then spent the next 10 minutes apologizing about it.

"What ended up happening was I had to be their therapist. I had to say, 'No, it's OK. It's all right,'" Zheng said. "That experience was awful, and I had to tell this person, 'Next time, look, if you keep responding like this when I correct you, I won't correct you. Me correcting misgendering is a courtesy to you. I'm letting you know that I trust you enough to get better.'"

Being better means apologizing when you are called out without centering yourself in the apology.

"I hear a lot of people complain, 'It's just so hard. I'm used to [other language],'" Jeffers said. People need to avoid defending their intentions in their apology, Jeffers added. Instead, they should focus on acknowledging that they are wrong and will be better.

One way to get proactively better? Practice so that gender-neutral language at work becomes a habit. "The more we lean into gender-neutral language, the less mistakes we make, the less room for assumption, the less awkward moments," Jeffers said. "Get good at practicing this, regardless of who is in the room, regardless if you know if someone is sensitive to this or not."

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Instead Of Saying 'Hey, Guys!' At Work, Try These Gender-Neutral Alternatives

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"Hey, guys!" It's the greeting that launched a thousand meetings and Zoom calls. Etymologists trace the term "guys" to the historical figure Guy Fawkes. It's evolved from the name of one man who attempted to assassinate King James I in 1605 to an informal address for a group of people in contemporary American English.

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'Guys' is not gender-neutral-let's stop using it like it is

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A gender bias expert says that we can all help the English language evolve towards inclusivity by eliminating the usage of "guys" when referring to people who are not male gender.