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I would say that an example of healthy masculinity is showing others respect and kindness and also knowing your own worth and desires. I believe a good way to show this is to stand up to others who show toxic masculinity, to be the right example of what a man should be. I believe that men should be able to call one another out and be able to make one another better because of it. To be able to show the younger generation the right way to act and show integrity and respect to others.

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I think that an example of this would be not to take a weaker kids lunch money, but to help the weaker kid who is getting his lunch money taken. I believe that doing this shows bravery, courage, and strong. I think that these are great traits that should be shown through helping other people and doing the right thing.

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an example of healthy masculinity would be calling out other men for their toxic masculinity. When men see that other men are in the wrong and that they are using their dominance as an advantage and instead of praising that behaviour or letting it slide, they call the other person out. This is a healthy example of masculinity. Holding other men accountable and being able to say that, "hey what you're doing is not right."

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A man who was practicing healthy masculinity would treat other men and women with respect, be willing to help others, be able to sustain healthy relationships, protect those who are weaker than him. He would also be able to stand up for what he believes in and doesn’t try to flaunt his masculinity to others.

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I would say an example would be using their platform by society to advocate for women. To speak up and speak to other men about the problems women face. Also to be happy and embrace who they are just as themselves. Accept their body even if it isn't perfect. But society has to let them do that, and I mean that in many ways from society stopping the pressures they put on man but also in society now it is like if your happy with yourself as a man or embracing yourself it counts as being offensive. There has to be a balance somewhere.

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An example of healthy masculinity is a guys relationship with his father. I feel like a father and sons relationship is the strongest out of a family relationship because they can connect with each other in a way that is difficult with other family members.

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I believe that toxic masculinity is a real thing. I believe one of the main examples is a man hiding his emotions and another is thinking that violence makes you more of a man. Personally, I have seen my dad cry only one time in my life. My dad was taught that his emotions showed weakness and because of this, he lashes out when he get emotional so much so he ends up hurting everyone in my house’s feelings. I have seen in some boys how a father’s influence upon his son is very influential on who that boy will one day become.

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I feel like toxic masculinity is something that is way more present than people think. One of them is the need to protect their daughter more than they would their son because they feel like their daughter needs the protection more. Sure a lot of people may disagree with this, but this is the sort of thing that shapes expectations into children from a young age. They get this idea that males must be the bigger person and protect women, but they should be protecting everyone equally. Another example of toxic masculinity is going to extremes for something that isn’t really necessary through means of force. An example of this I’ve heard of before is people getting into fights over stupud things like a seat at the bar or something. It all just boils down to toxic masculinity and how it’s hurting the world.

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Being Controlling, aggressive and feeling no one can really step up to you or stop you because you are some big "man". A lot of this comes from suppressed feelings built up inside or even just scared that a women or another man could be "stronger" than them if they do not show they are in control first.

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Yesterday, I was at work and I am a ref for a company called I9. I was reffing football and there was this kid that was bigger than everyone else and you could tell he was an early bloomer and the other kids just weren't caught up with him yet. His dad was sitting up on his truck in the parking lot cheering him on. During the flag football game, he kept talking trash to the other team (which is normal), but this wasn't normal trash talking. This was more of a statement to the other team that he was bigger than them so that meant that he was better than them. He then ended up getting into an argument almost every play with one kid on the other team. The bigger kid then decided that every time he got to the ball to give it to the quarterback he was going to fake spit on the other kid basically. Then for the next couple of plays he then pushed the kid over and over again. You aren't allowed to do this and he got multiple flags thrown on him and his dad just laughed. I think this was a great example of toxic masculinity. I also believe that this type of behavior was praised in his household by the look of how his dad reacted. My dad would have been really mad at me that I caused my team to move backwards because of the flags. I firmly believe that this is not an argument of if society is portraying a man to be a bad person but I think this should be focused on how we are raising our kids.

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i feel like an example of toxic masculinity is when men engage in high risk behaviours that in term demonstrate dominance. When men feel that dominance is only achieved through extreme measures like engaging in violence, this is a toxic trait.

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I think a glaring example of toxic masculinity is when fathers try to force their sons to participate in activities that are considered “masculine” such as sports. Another example would be when fathers declare showing emotion as feminine, which sets up their sons for serious emotional and mental health issues in the future.

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I definitely believe there are examples of toxic masculinity. An example is how some guys act around other people. They may act like they are the more dominant person and try and put others underneath them

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I believe that the commercial had a point that toxic masculinity can be a problem and if you want to change things then you should act like the person you want to be because the younger generation is always watching and like in the video it says, “The boys of today are the men of tomorrow”, so men should try and set the right example. I think the articles were both a little jaded and very one-sided and kind of went to the extremes of things even though they both had fair points about toxic masculinity. I think through the different generations there is a different expectation of how a man should act and what it is to be a man so all the opinions are going to e different. I mean personally, I believe a man should be a protector and have integrity, and be kind to others. But this is what I see of my father. I believe that it is based on how you are raised whether you act a certain way. I don't think there is such thing as the perfect male because no one is perfect so why should they be expected to be?

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I think that the articles really leave a lasting impression on you and cause you to think bigger than the general idea. They really take parts and break them down into what they really are and elaborate on the issues they are creating. I, however, was not taught these ideas of “manliness”. Maybe it’s because I was raised in an all female household, but I learned how to act through my own personal experiences. I am far from the typical “masculine male” because I display emotions on the regular. If I need to cry I cry. If somethings wrong I’ll tell someone. Being soft is okay and there’s nothing wrong with that. So knowing this all, I understand that not all men are taught to be like this. Is there pressure through society and the social norms created today? Absolutely. The expectations set today really shape how people act and in a sense it’s creating a lot of fake people. If someone acts differently from how they might if they did things on their own, it could end up creating some they’re really not. Men shouldn’t have an expectation for what they should be, they should be accepted however they turn out no matter how society portrays what they should be. The definition of a man is often misinterpreted because people feel the need to mold into what people have come to think is a perfect man.

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This video has a good presentation of how toxic masculinity effects other people. It also is showing how times have changed, and the attitude towards it has changed as well. More people are now willing to call people out on in instead of just saying "boys will be boys"

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I would say toxic masculinity is a real thing and the way men get breeded by society really shows down the line. You have to be a "man" who created this definition of a "man" though. Pressured by men themselves of course by society and even by women. I feel we need to treat men as humans not the definition that we created for "men"

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I think that each article presents a legitimate argument about how toxic masculinity is present in today’s society and can affect men. However, I believe the experiences from the people in the article came from a more extreme perspective than what the average male’s perspective would be. As a male myself I have been taught to be masculine and show masculine traits, but never to an extent to where I would label it as “toxic masculinity.” Obviously everyone is different and won’t take what is taught to them the same way, so I feel like the ultimate responsibility lies within the parents.

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I believe that the articles and video did a good job showing the different perspectives on the topic of masculinity and the social aspect of how it influences men. This being said, the definition of masculinity is evolving with time and as a result, there are differing opinions and ideals that some men feel opposed to while others are embracing the changes.

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I believe that these articles are very good and have a really strong argument. I also believe that the studies and some articles are somewhat one sided and are blown out of proportion. I can only speak for myself when I talk about how I was raised, although, when I was raised and taught how to be a man, I never was taught to bully other kids or steal weaker kids lunch money. I was taught to be strong, brave, and have courage but I was never taught to always show my alpha maleness. I think that certain boys are raised to take advantage of the weaker boys which causes these boys to believe that they can do this their whole life. I think that men are being targeted, although, I think that men should be targeted because men accounted for 80.4% of violent crimes committed. This makes me wonder if it is boys being taught to be masculine and to take advantage of the weaker kids that is the problem.

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I mainly believe that it’s on one person why they do things. I believe that girls are harder on themselves because they don’t have any love or confidence in their looks Because if they had confidence in themselves they wouldn’t care what other people think of them. So I truly believe it’s all in their head and their hearts so they can choose who and what they want to believe. If they want to present themselves a certain way or act a certain way they can but I truly think it’s on them. I think they put unrealistic pressure on themselves to please everyone and that’s just not possible. Yes, I know that appreciation from others always makes you feel good but with social media, it seems like it turns into an addiction where you rely on other opinions and not your own.

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I feel like women are more at fault. They create a somewhat unrealistic beauty standard that almost everyone wants to match

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I feel It is women as the individual on themselves 

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I feel It is women as the individual on themselves 

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We often say the world and society creates standards that are impossible and it effects women. But at some point you have to say like am I going to let that effect me? It comes down to you as a person for what you let effect you, what you like pressure you and that goes for anything in life. Just because the world says Tesla is the best car and if you have one you are rich and cool.. does that mean I am supposed to stress and slave my whole life away to Geta Tesla? just so someone else will be happy in their view of me?

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I think where this issue originates is from models on social media. Seeing them appear almost flawless gives an unhealthy and unrealistic standard for beauty for women. As a result of their huge audience on social media, some of their followers will inevitably be obsessed with achieving the same unrealistic beauty standards that they witness.

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I would argue that in this period of time, females are at fault. The saying "girls supporting other girls" is a trending statement online but if you look closely on social media outlets like instagram or tik tok, you can see that it is usually other girls bringing down, bullying, criticizing other girls and going against the saying "girls supporting other girls." It has become a toxic circle of events where they seem to pick and choose who they want to criticize and "cancel" on social media.

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I think that personally females spend too much time making themselves look how they think a man wants them to look. I think that females edit themselves in a way that they think a man would like but in reality the men that I know like more of a natural look and think that it gets too much when a female tries too hard to be someone they aren't. I do think that men have an impact on this too but I believe that it is mostly females that put this insane pressure on themselves.

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I believe that females are put at a different standard than men on social media because women are thought to look and act a certain way. Girls on social media constantly compare themselves to others and the standards for how you’re supposed to look are very pressured upon by other people on social media. Plus in general, women like to present themselves a certain way and a lot of us take pride in our appearance so I think it is very important to us what our feedback is through social media. I know some girls use filters and editors to put a false reality of themselves for the gratification of others. I’m not saying guys don’t have any pressure through social media I just think women have a harder go of it because of the expectation of how they should present themselves.

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I believe there is more pressure on females than males. In general, females put more time and effort towards what they post on social media. Social media can seem as a competition for females at times because of how much effort put into their social media profiles.

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I believe it effects females more, we see editing happen so much. Some females post a picture of themselves and then edit it like they are creating a character. I guess they are in a sense, creating a false character in this video game like social media world. It gets unhealthy plugging up your imperfections, be comfortable in your own skin. Why do we care for a strangers opinion, that is putting no money in your pocket. You live for yourself and if your living for anyone else then your not really living.

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I definitely think females are more pressured by social media then guys because females typically spend more time getting ready to take the picture. I also feel like there is a more niche beauty standard for females then there is for males

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I think that this problem in particular is harder for the females rather than the males. I think this because I have seen more girls get upset with the amount of likes and followers that they get. I don't see many males with this worry of people seeing them at their worst because they just woke up. I also think that girls are way harder on themselves because of social media and put on a lot of makeup and dress a certain way to feel like they look good. I also think that guys just don't care as much.

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I believe females have more pressure on social media because of all the different standards that present themselves. The beauty standards of women are constantly changing and a lot of females and younger girls feel the need to adhere and meet these standards. I also feel like they also receive more criticism from others on their physical traits and what they post which could be detrimental to their mental health having to hear what others think is wrong with your appearance.

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I feel that sometimes it gets tiring always hearing the same thing about the dangers of social media and phone addiction. But even though it is tiring I do believe people need to hear it because not all people are still being affected by this. Even though some might not care there are some younger kids that are just starting out with social media and losing themselves in it and not really living. I feel that we should continue to talk about it and try and fix it.

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I think it does get old for people in our generation. People our age are aware of the problem, but I think for the younger generations who will grow up in a world that has always had social media. I think the children whose parents give them access to social media without setting boundaries or teaching them about the potential dangers can cause them to be oblivious to the problems of social media.

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I feel like it does not get old. Most people today have a general idea of how much time is to much time and can self regulate their screen time

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I would say that this does get old to me and I feel like the people above the age of around 13 are aware of the dangers and they just don't care but I feel like younger kids still need to be taught that you shouldn't be on a device all day. When you get to a certain age and hear it enough, you start to make the decision for yourself.

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We should still assess the problem and talk about it. It is still a problem among teens and young adults. The use of social media can become a toxic place for many and by continuing to talk about the negative impacts and effects of social media, you spread awareness. Although some can say that it does get old hearing about screen time, social media, and the internet, this is not the case for everyone.

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Yes I feel it is a problem. We are distracted by the internet world. We sit and get home and instead of doing homework or something productive we sit on instagram for 2 hours. That is not helping your life or helping you get to where you want to get to. Time is not promised, so why do we spend it on a screen? Also think about being a slave to your mind to your own temptations. Why do you have to pick your phone up first thing in the morning, why do you have to check instagram everyday, why do you have to send streaks on snapchat. Because you have made it so normal into your daily life. I like to feel like I have control of my mind and my life. Collect the data of how many hours you are on the net a week and see what else you could put that time into, to get to where you want to get to in life.

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I do believe this is self-objectification because people are posting images that make themselves out to be perfect so that they can be judged by others with either likes and comments.  I think there are some things wrong with this because not only are you posting stuff that’s not true your also lying to yourself. I mean I truly think overall your only going to hurt yourself by doing this because nobody is perfect and people start comparing themselves to a false person. Most of the people in the video are making things up and posting pictures of themselves and rely on other people’s opinions of them to make them feel appreciated for things that aren’t true about themselves. I don’t see how this can make you feel better because it is all surrounded by lies.

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I believe that this is a form of self objectification. The people in the video used the images that they posted as a false reality of what was really happening. People also become more likely to engage in self-objectification online through the way they portray themselves to their audience.

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I believe that this is a form of objectification and a legitimate problem. What is concerning is that with this generation we grew up with social media, and now it is getting introduced to children at a younger age. So they are more susceptible to believe anything they see on social media. Social media gives people the ability to project a completely different lifestyle than what they actually live to the world. It takes people away from reality, and the attention people gain from social media makes them believe others truly care about them.

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I agree with the statement that this video shows objectification. These people are showing unrealistic body standards for the sole reason of likes and shares. A good example of this was the first girl. In her picture, she said she had just woken up and had already looked like that when in fact she had already did her hair and put makeup on. I definitely believe this is more of a problem for girls then it is for guys because they usually take longer to take photos, but that goes without saying that both genders are greatly impacted by this

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I completely agree with the statement that this is a form of objectification and I see it happen in my life all the time. My friends will post a picture and end up deleting it if they feel like it didn't get enough likes or comments. There is an individual on the football team who will come to the workouts and take a picture of them "working out" and then leave in 10 minutes. I also feel like girls and women struggle with this more than men do with my personal experience.

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Yes I feel this is a problem, this generation is addicted to social media. Addicted to likes and comments. Why do we feel the need to care what others think? Why do we post our food? our clothes? Our problems? If you have the time out of your day to post your struggles then are you really struggling? People post themselves crying but if you were really crying and going through it would you really pull your phone out? We want attention so bad that we go to any level to get it and it is unhealthy. People are raised by media and will do whatever it takes to be accepted by strangers on a screen

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I feel that Gwen Stefani is right that there is a problem with how society and not just men on how they see women as weak, emotional, fragile, and helpless in this man’s world. Now in society women have moved up but there are still people who put us in boxes that we can’t make the harder decisions if they need to be made and that we are too emotional and sensitive to do so. A lot of academic research suggests that women are under pressure to maintain a cool exterior everywhere from the workplace to academic settings if they want to get ahead, while men are rewarded for raising their voices and expressing big emotions. In the video, we can see that Gwen is kind of breaking this mold of having a stern look and instead is raising her voice into the mic and saying she’s had it with this stereotype.

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I would say Gwen is right and the things that she talked about are all stereotypes that women have to deal with on an everyday basis and it's not their fault. I am even guilty of doing this if I am out with my girlfriend and we are somewhere like downtown or if I am with my sister somewhere and they need to go to the bathroom or something and I usually watch and make sure they get to wherever they need safely. I also do not do this if it was one of my guy friends in the same situation.

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I think Gwen is right. The issues she touches on establishes the stereotypes that women endure in society and how they can limit what women can do. It is an issue that is ingrained into society and she was able to spread that message through the lyrics of her song.

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I feel like Gwen is right. Women have struggled for decades to break out of social norms but have failed every time. People are still viewing women as weak and powerless while they view men as people who should be power

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I think Gwen Stefani is right. With so many expectations that men have for the "typical" woman in society it extremely limits the pathways and opportunities that women are given. Woman who can be unknowing victims of stereotypes can become lost and confused as to what their purpose is. I feel like this has always been an issue, and will continue to be one until the patriarchy in society begins to shift.

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I feel she is right, there are many subjects touched in terms of women being mistreated in society. America holds 51.1 percent women and the rest men. Yet America is ranked 75th in women political power among 193 countries. For a country that claims to be the best and the land of opportunity I do not see fair opportunities given out. We was society and men have to open our eyes and ears. This song was made in 1995 yet this is still a problem today. When will we listen? or do we just not want to listen? Women are strong and have been fighting forever it seems but the problem won't change until the problem fixes it, the problem being men. Men have to talk to each other and bring this problem to light. Stand up for it, these are our mothers, sisters, daughters.

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The song itself’s self is very sarcastic especially when Gwen Stefani says “I’m just a girl, little ‘ole me/ Don’t let me out of your sight/ I’m just a girl, all pretty and petite/ So don’t let me have any rights.” She is kinda making fun of the stereotype that women are weak and of the male notion of having to protect women as if we are frail and fragile beings unable to fend for ourselves. Another lyric that addresses this is “Cause I'm just a girl, I'd rather not be, Cause they won't let me drive late at night”. Gwen is addressing the problems women have with how we are stereotyped as being weak and that men won’t allow us to be any different than that. I guess I kind of agree with her notion because women are still considered weak especially when we show emotion so much so that some men believe that we shouldn’t hold a powerful position in society because we wouldn’t be able to make the tough decisions.

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This song touches on the stereotypes of women in society. "I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite." This creates an image of how women are seen, just for their features and nothing else to offer. "I'm just a girl, I'm just a girl in the world, That's all that you'll let me be" These lyrics also touch up on the social aspect on how women are treated and subjected to what they deem as appropriate for women in general. The song in general is a powerful message about the struggles of being a women.

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I believe that this song is meant to talk about all of the common stereotypes about women in society. By what she is saying in the song it is evident that she is tired of being boxed into the stereotypes that have been labeled on women. Gwen desires to break out of those stereotypes, and is trying to discover what her actual purpose is.

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I feel like this video is very powerful and concerning. I feel like this is a girl who is tired of being treated like she always needs help with everything she does. I feel like she is saying that she is stronger than she looks and she can do things for herself.

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I feel like this video has a lot of symbolism showing the stereotypical aspects of boys and girls. When the band got their rooms, the boys room was worn down, disgusting, and dark. In that room, it also shows that they play the "loud" instruments like the drums and electric guitars. These instruments are the stereotypical instruments that boys are expected to want to play in a band. In the girls room, it is shown to be super clean and pristine. It also shows that she is the main singer of band, showing that she plays the "softer" instrument.

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I feel this is a very powerful song. I think the fact that she is doing a song like this in that genre of music is a statement in it's self, typically a genre where there isn't too many women. Then of course the lyrical side to it, although I am not a female so I could never fully understand I do agree and feel for this song just from being an eye witness. Lets talk about some lyrics. "Oh, I'm just a girl, living in captivity" This is very powerful, it can be viewed in many ways. Living in a mans world basically. From the way women should look to men holding political power and creating laws for women. Very powerful message

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and Positive Commentary--a Problem Facing Both Genders

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Are You Living an Insta Lie? Social Media Vs. Reality

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REMASTERED IN HD!As heard in Captain Marvel! Listen to more No Doubt here: https://NoDoubt.lnk.to/EssentialsDiscover how No Doubt's heartbreak seduced the m...

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Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed and it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know exactly where I stand?
This world is forcing me to hold your hand

'Cause I'm just a girl, oh, little old me
Well, don't let me out of your sight
Oh, I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights

Oh, I've had it up to here

The moment that I step outside
So many reasons for me to run and hide
I can't do the little things I hold so dear
'Cause it's all those little things that I fear

'Cause I'm just a girl, I'd rather not be
'Cause they won't let me drive late at night
Oh, I'm just a girl, guess I'm some kind of freak
'Cause they all sit and stare with their eyes
Oh, I'm just a girl, take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype

Oh, I've had it up to here

Oh, am I making myself clear?

I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl in the world
That's all that you'll let me be

Oh, I'm just a girl, living in captivity
Your rule of thumb makes me worrisome
Oh, I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
What I've succumbed to is making me numb

Oh, I'm just a girl, my apologies
What I've become is so burdensome
Oh, I'm just a girl, lucky me
Twiddle-dum, there's no comparison

Oh, I've had it up to
Oh, I've had it up to
Oh, I've had it up to here

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No Doubt - Just A Girl Lyrics | SongMeanings

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Take this pink ribbon off my eyes I'm exposed and it's no big surprise Don't you think I know exactly where I stand?

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A Stance

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Since I was a boy, I've been conditioned to be masculine.

Not only by my family and friends, but even more so by our society and our world.

Be aggressive. Be stoic. Be strong. Be dominant. Be competitive.

Don't be weak. Don't be a sissy. Don't be all mushy. Don't reveal emotions that are not masculine, conditioned by both natural and nurturing forces.

I've done my best to live up to those ideals of masculinity. I still do, to a large degree. In fact I pride myself on it. In my large, extended family, I am now considered the patriarch, with all that this masculine label encompasses.

Crying is still considered a fault. Vulnerability is still deemed a weakness. Backing down from a fight of any kind is still shameful. Showing a tender side is only acceptable in certain circumstances, certainly not in public.

Fellow men, does this sound accurate?

For men my age - 56 -- such masculine behavior has been ingrained in us since birth, literally. We played with soldiers, not dolls. If we even entertained the notion of playing with dolls, we were mocked or, worse yet, excluded from boyhood perks and rituals.

So, for most males, we stayed in our lane, drove home what it is to be a "real man," and stayed on cruise control into adulthood. And, for me, into middle age and beyond. So here I am today, a psychologically chiseled "man" from decades of social practice, personal ridicule, proud machismo and painful lessons. Look at me roar!

But wait. In the wake of the #MeToo movement and other changing social standards, there's a new label for these manly traits that I've been trying to exemplify since my first G.I. Joe "action figure" (remember, dolls are for girls).

It's called "toxic masculinity."

Many of those mannish traits I've learned over the past half century are now being labeled as "limiting" and "harmful," prompting men to reconsider what it is to be, well, a man. Are we supposed to be who we were groomed to be? Or who we are now expected to be? Or maybe a social hybrid of both?

"Traditional masculinity ideology has been shown to limit males' psychological development, constrain their behavior, result in gender role strain and gender role conflict, and negatively influence mental health and physical health," according to a 36-page report by the American Psychological Association.

The organization recently issued its first official warning against toxic masculinity in January's issue of "Monitor on Psychology." These new "Guidelines for the Psychological Practice with Boys and Men," is the first-ever report published by the APA specifically designed to help practitioners treat male patients "despite social forces that can harm mental health."

In other words, these same social forces have been harming my mental health for as long as I could say "mental health." I would publicly cry if I felt it was allowed in our society. Oh wait, I guess it is now. Unfortunately, this old dog isn't able to learn this new trick at the snap of your fingers.

Citing 40 years of research, the APA warns men against the "masculinity ideology," defined as a set of standards that have held sway over large segments of men, including anti-femininity, achievement, appearance of weakness, and adventure-risk and violence.

Check, check, check, check. Anti-femininity? Nah, I don't think so, at least in my case.

According to the association, conforming to the long-held social norms of this masculinity ideology can result in all kinds of emotional troubles for young boys. Such behavior can lead to the suppression of emotions, unhealthy risk-taking, inability to seek help, tendencies toward bullying and homophobic traits.

In other words, everything that has defined manhood for centuries. Where was this warning in the 1960s and '70s during my impressionable adolescent years? I'll tell you where. It was being kicked to the curb by an endless army of risk-taking, bullying, homophobic men.

"Traditional masculinity is, on the whole, harmful," the APA now warns us. Not only to women and to society, but also to us men.

For example, despite being four times more likely to die of suicide than women, men are significantly less likely to be diagnosed with related disorders because we don't "conform to traditional stereotypes about men's emotionality."

We don't? I thought I've been conforming to the correct stereotype since I stifled my first tears out of shame. Or since I first punched another kid in the face because he stole my lunch money. Or since I first joined with other boys to call weaker boys names.

Remember when such public ridicule was simply the norm, not taboo? I do. I didn't get punished. I got praised, with a sly wink and a thumbs up by older men who were my idols.

Despite the APA's new warnings, the association encourages men of all ages to now embrace the positive aspects of traditional masculinity such as courage, leadership and accountability. Courage without risk-taking? Leadership without suppression of emotions? Bravery without recklessness? Yeah, right.

If only a razor blade company would commercialize this close-shaven issue with a slick new marketing campaign. That's what us men need.

Just in the nick of time, Gillette's new "We Believe" ad addresses toxic masculinity, outdated stereotypes, and the #MeToo movement with its inverted tagline, "The best a man can get."

If this company wasn't trying to sell me more razors, I'd give it more credit for weighing in on another contentious social issue in our evolving country, as so many other corporate firms have done. Only the bottom line matters to these firms.

Toxic masculinity? OK, sure. But for most of us men, we simply call it masculinity.

It's now up to each of us to redefine what it is to be a man. Every day. Every moment. Every action. This, too, is what a real man should now do.

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Davich: For most males, 'toxic masculinity' is what raised us from boys to men

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Since I was a boy, I've been conditioned to be masculine. Not only by my family and friends, but even more so by our society and our world. Be aggressive. Be stoic. Be strong. Be dominant. Be competitive. Don't be weak. Don't be a sissy. Don't be all mushy.

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A Stance

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This story is part of a group of stories called

First-person essays and interviews with unique perspectives on complicated issues.

If you Google "masculinity" right now, you'd be forgiven for thinking that men are engaged in an epic battle over our very right to exist. " Masculinity isn't a sickness," the Wall Street Journal intones.

Who is behind this " dubious attack" on masculinity? It was a bit of a one-two punch, actually: Earlier this month, the American Psychological Association released new guidelines for working with men that highlighted a substantial body of research pointing to some of the harmful effects that the constricted enculturation of "traditional masculinity" have on men and the people around us. "Traits of so-called 'traditional masculinity,' like suppressing emotions & masking distress, often start early in life & have been linked to less willingness by boys & men to seek help, more risk-taking & aggression - possibly harming themselves & those with whom they interact," the APA tweeted as part of the guideline announcement.

The new APA guidelines, which are designed for therapists working with men, suggest that clinicians be aware of their own gender bias so as to avoid misdiagnosis of male clients; be aware of the way racism, homophobia, and transphobia shape male identity, as well as stereotypes about marginalized men; and get out the message to men that "they're adaptable, emotional and capable of engaging fully outside of rigid norms." In short, the APA suggests that treating male clients will be more impactful if therapists factor in the documented risk factors associated with "traditional" masculinity (not seeking help, struggling with vulnerability) in their treatment, and broadly remember to factor in masculinity as a gender identity when assessing the needs of their male clients.

The guidelines, which complement a similar set of APA guidelines for working with women and girls released in 2007, have been in the works since 2005, reports the New York Times. But conservative voices, in particular, were quick to dismiss the guidelines as a "frontal attack" born of the post-#MeToo political climate.

Those flames were further fanned a week later, when Gillette released an ad actually inspired by #MeToo that asked men to reexamine the phrase "boys will be boys," work to end sexual harassment, support boys emotionally, and intervene if they see bullying. "It's only by challenging ourselves to do more that we can get closer to our best," the narrator tells us.

The APA guidelines, the Gillette ad: These small cultural milestones seemed like reasonable, healthy steps toward questioning and highlighting tired, troubling ideas about what makes a man. But I'm a trans man who spent years reporting a book on masculinity, so I knew exactly what would happen next: an angry outcry. If you're a man for whom the Gillette ad felt like an attack on "your masculinity," maybe it's worth questioning how you learned to twin dominance, harm, and violence with your gender identity.

When masculinity is threatened

Because most men are taught to believe that socialized masculinity is somehow entirely "innate" (it's not) and simultaneously precarious and in need of defending, any messaging that challenges the dominant definition of masculinity can lead to what sociologists call " identity threat."

The theory, according to UC Santa Barbara sociology professor Tristan Bridges, suggests that if an identity you feel passionately about is threatened, your first response is to overperform that identity. In this political climate, men who have been taught since boyhood that being a "real man" means defending "traditional" masculinity and using dominance to police its lack in others, respond to the suggestion that they reimagine the more toxic aspects of masculinity by emphasizing exactly those toxic elements.

Bridges points to a 2013 study published in the American Journal of Sociology that found that men whose masculinity was "threatened" (by being told that they tested as more "feminine" on a made-up gender identity survey) were more likely to support war, as well as show both homophobic beliefs and beliefs in male superiority. (Women whose femininity was similarly threatened showed no significant changes.) Even more distressing, a 2012 study published in the Journal of Violence Against Women found that men whose masculinity was threatened before reading vignettes about sexual assault responded to the stories by "blaming the victim and exonerating the perpetrator more" than men whose gender identity was not threatened first.

So it was no surprise that after the commercial aired, Piers Morgan tweeted that Gillette wanted men to "take one of their razors and cut off their testicles." In the meantime, many, many triggered men vowed to throw out their razors and boycott Gillette. Just as the reaction to the APA guidelines included stories with headlines like " We Need to Retoxify Masculinity, " the Gillette ad drew ire and the promise of a boycott from men who felt "attacked" by the suggestion that sexual harassment and bullying was not key to their gender identity. In both cases, agitated men conflated cultural conditioning with identity -and then leaned into that identity, just as identity threat research predicted that they would.

"Men are not used to having masculinity defined for them, and sometimes they don't realize the little ways these really problematic stereotypes of masculinity can crop up in their own lives," says Bridges. Though the commercial and the guidelines never suggest that men should "stop being men," Bridges says they force a privileged population to look at how the conditioning they received in childhood could be harming their mental and emotional well-being.

How masculinity evolves

If this conversation is ever going to result in widespread change, Bridges thinks we have to look at another aspect of how masculinity is constructed: lack of resilience around "failure."

"We're not very good at talking with men about how to be challenged and not feel like your gender is threatened," he says. We now talk to boys about consent, he says, but not how to "retain their dignity" in the face of rejection. Instead, boys are socialized to be dominant at all costs, and to manage "failure" by "proving" their masculinity - resulting in aggressive, identity-threat behaviors.

When I transitioned, I was thrilled to feel aligned with my body. But I was also shocked by the scope of privilege my white, male body suddenly received and by the many messages I got about how I was expected to behave to "prove" my masculinity. I could walk alone late at night without fear, and I also went months without a single person touching me. I accelerated through the ranks at work, and a female friend told me that if I ever wanted a girlfriend again, I needed to not show vulnerability.

This troubled me and, eventually, I began to ask questions: What does testosterone actually do? Why do men fight? What is a "real man"? As I reported out the answers, I came across much of the research cited by the APA and arrived at a similar conclusion. I found my way back to myself by questioning the same toxic behaviors and mentality the Gillette ad highlights. By making sure our values line up with our behavior, men can create a model of masculinity grounded in integrity. The short-term reward is a longer, healthier life. The long-term effect could be ending the needless suffering of future generations of boys.

There's a lot on the line, and we all need to stand up for what we believe in. We are all culpable for the culture we're creating. We're all responsible for the person we see in the mirror, too.

Correction: A previous version of this article incorrectly cited a Washington Post article.
Thomas Page McBee is a journalist and the author, most recently, of Amateur: A True Story of What Makes a Man.
First Person is Vox's home for compelling, provocative narrative essays. Do you have a story to share? Read our submission guidelines, and pitch us at firstperson@vox.com.

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Toxic masculinity is under attack. That's fine.

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First-person essays and interviews with unique perspectives on complicated issues. If you Google "masculinity" right now, you'd be forgiven for thinking that men are engaged in an epic battle over our very right to exist. " Masculinity isn't a sickness," the Wall Street Journal intones. Who is behind this " dubious attack" on masculinity?

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We Believe: The Best Men Can Be | Gillette (Short Film)

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Bullying. Harassment. Is this the best a man can get? It's only by challenging ourselves to do more, that we can get closer to our best. To say the right thi...