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School counselors are uniquely equipped to bridge the gaps between administration, teachers, parents, and students. As the demands placed on everyone in a school community increase, it's vital that we view and include school counselors as part of our leadership teams. Let's make sure we recognize all they do and put their strengths to work for our students! Here are 11 ways school counselors serve as leaders in your building.

1. School counselors recognize and showcase diversity.

In many buildings, school counselors are considered the "heart" of the school. They help create an inclusive environment that is respectful, welcoming, kind, and open to all.

2. School counselors develop community partnerships.

Counseling staff work collaboratively with universities, community colleges, technical schools, local unions, military reps, and apprentice programs to provide a variety of opportunities for students. They are especially vital in ensuring underserved and first-generation students have access to and the tools to reach all possible post-high school options.

3. School counselors help during difficult situations.

Strengths such as listening, reflecting, and high emotional intelligence make school counselors valuable allies when trying to get buy-in from staff or the greater community on difficult issues. Counselors foster a culture of change via strong lines of communication and valuing input from all parties involved.

4. School counselors maintain strong home-school connections.

Counselors tend to be the liaison for parents when it comes to communicating with the school. This leadership role is especially important when assisting families who are not familiar with the school setting or have issues trusting staff.

5. School counselors maximize educational success.

School counselors can help to maximize the educational attainment of all students by providing students with mental health services (school or community-based) and developmental guidance that takes a proactive approach in helping students set and reach academic goals.

6. School counselors lead staff trainings.

Administrators who use their counseling staff (rather than outside contractors) to lead building-wide trainings can save a lot of money and gain quicker buy-in from staff. School counselors are experts on topics such as student engagement, positive discipline, suicide/self-harm, students-as-leaders, peer mentoring programs, and academic/social interventions for low-performing students.

7. School counselors protect and advocate for disadvantaged students.

Counselors identify and amend policies and practices that negatively impact disadvantaged students and advocate for equitable services for all students.

8. School counselors use expertise to bring data to life.

Like administrators, counselors are trained in data collection and analysis. They are skilled at using this information to drive decisions about placement, intervention, and overall student health and wellbeing.

9. School counselors mediate difficult situations between parents/students and staff.

Counselors are consistently looking for ways to support the relationship between school staff and parents. Acting as a mediator when one or both parties are upset about a situation is a critical way in which school counselors serve as leaders.

10. School counselors organize and lead crisis response.

Counselors are on the front lines after a tragedy has happened in a school or community. Staff, students, parents, and community members look to the counselors for guidance and support immediately following an event. Because of their training in emotional/mental, the counseling staff is critical in advocating for and teaching self-care to staff, parents, and students during a crisis.

11. School counselors empower and inspire.

School counselors inherently believe in people and work tirelessly to communicate that. By being visible and accessible at all times, their calming, caring, and encouraging presence helps support and empower staff in the building.

School counselors serve as leaders in many ways and we need to value their perspectives and strengths. They are vital to building positive learning environments in which students thrive.
Join our Facebook group Principal Life for more conversation about and insights into the challenges of school leadership.

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11 Ways Your School Counselors Serve as Leaders - WeAreTeachers

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School counselors are uniquely equipped to bridge the gaps between administration, teachers, parents, and students. As the demands placed on everyone in a school community increase, it's vital that we view and include school counselors as part of our leadership teams. Let's make sure we recognize all they do and put their strengths to work for our students!

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BEING A DOER ISN'T ENOUGH FOR SCHOOL COUNSELORS. STUDENT NEEDS DEMAND SCHOOL COUNSELORS MOVE BEYOND REACTING TO LEADING. Are school counselors doers or

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Far from simply setting up student schedules and administering placement and academic evaluation tests, school counselors are leaders who can have a huge impact on the acceleration and the enhancement of learning. They must possess the ability to negotiate, persuade others their ideas are worthwhile, and collaborate with principals and other school officials.

School counselors have many responsibilities, including counseling students, working with teachers and parents, referring students to outside agencies, participating in student welfare and learning support communities, and evaluating and improving their own school counseling program.

Listening

First and foremost, a school counselor needs to be a good listener. Often, they have several students they work with and may get very few chances to converse with them in a one on one setting. "The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood," said Ralph G. Nichols. "The best way to understand people is to listen to them."

To listen effectively, counselors must be fully in the moment, not thinking of their "to do" list but rather giving their full attention to the issue at hand. Reflecting back to the person, your perception of what they said helps show understanding, and lets them make corrections. The counselor must also keep an open mind, being careful not to make any judgments until they have heard the entire story. ¹

Being Empathetic

Often a part of listening, putting themselves in the shoes of the person speaking, whether that is a student or another school official, helps counselors truly understand the underlying issues.

"Without the ability to understand what the student is experiencing, a counselor cannot truly do an effective job," says Helen A. Hatridge, past president of the Missouri School Counselor Association. "Empathy leads to good listening and a better ability to help the client come up with solutions. It also helps the student feel more comfortable and willing to open up to a counselor." ²

To be more empathetic, it is essential for a counselor to put aside their viewpoint. At the same time, they need to validate the student's viewpoint, which does not always mean agreement. Instead it means acknowledging their right to have an opinion, and that they have valid reasons for it. Asking how that person thinks a situation should be handled or what they would do opens up an even deeper understanding. ³

Building Relationship

It takes time for a counselor to build a relationship with any student or even their peers. However, through listening and being empathetic, that process can be accelerated.

To feel free to talk to a counselor, a student must often "break the ice," and needs to feel trust, comfort, and acceptance. Students need to accept that the counselor is a professional caregiver, and someone they can turn to without fear of judgement.

A counselor who develops this trusting relationship with students can get a lot more done, An understanding of the kid culture and what they care about can go a long way toward providing that environment of trust and understanding.

Performing Assessments

Assessment skills are essential for any school counselor in a number of areas. From academic and skills assessment to personality testing and career advisement, the ability to discern the intersection of talent and desire is essential to offering good counsel.

Assessment also includes determining if a student has special needs and interpreting test and non-test data to decide where the student should be placed, and what programs will most benefit them.

Regardless of the reason for assessment, the steps often include, but are not limited to the following:

Choosing what tests should be administered and when.

Scheduling, preparing, and administering tests.

Scoring tests or sending them out to be scored.

Advising students, teachers, parents, and other staff on test score interpretation.

Evaluating the testing process, results, and subsequent recommendations.⁴

Assessments involve some testing but must also be combined with listening, empathy, and the relationship that has been built to determine how testing outcomes relate to personality, desires, and the goals of the student.

Coordinating Efforts and Activities

Efforts and activities can fall into a couple of different categories. A counselor will have to coordinate Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) for students, and other student specific plans as well. Along with coordinating individual student plans and interacting with teachers and other school officials, the school counselor often coordinates other activities and projects as well.

In many cases, the school counselor is in charge of parent newsletters, school announcements, managing social media accounts, and other community outreach and event planning efforts.

The ability to coordinate and manage these efforts and activities requires strong leadership and organizational skills. Teaching these skills to students by allowing them to take responsibility for their own educational goals and other efforts enables a counselor to show leadership by example.

Exercising Authority

In order to be able to implement programs, direct student activities and coordinate tasks, a counselor must exercise a certain amount of authority.

This means first of all that the counselor must be granted the authority to handle certain tasks by other school officials such as principals and administrators. The more their authority is validated by their actions, the more the counselor will be perceived as a leader by parents and students alike.

Secondly, the school counselor must be willing to wield the authority they have been granted, taking charge of tasks and situations, setting expectations, and holding those responsible to deadlines.

The counselor must also know in any given situation when to cross the line from friend to professional. If a student is being abusive or abused, a more professional response is ethically and legally mandated. It is the counselor's obligation to take charge and follow through, ensuring that student safety comes first.

Being Flexible

If one thing is certain in the field of education, it is that things will change. Interruptions, schedule changes, new programs, and new responsibilities all interrupt a counselor's daily routine.

Student needs and the needs of the school overall often take priority over scheduled meetings. Parent phone calls, staff concerns, talks in classrooms, and unexpected counseling needs can all be disruptive.

A successful counselor should:

Leave gaps in their day for unscheduled needs.

Use good time management techniques.

Set reasonable boundaries. Know what is worthy of an interruption, and what can wait.

Communicate clearly. Inform students, parents, and faculty of schedules and boundaries.

By remaining flexible, a counselor can better manage the stress inherent in the job and be more responsive when needs arise unexpectedly.

Having a Sense of Humor

Being able to see things from the side of humor has a number of advantages. It lets students see that the counselor is human and can not only laugh at situations but laugh at themselves as well.

This is frequently one of the biggest assets in building student trust and developing a relationship with them. It is often how those students relate to adults, whether through jokes or humorous anecdotes that illustrate a point the counselor is trying to get across.

Humor is also a stress reliever. Being able to see the humorous side of interruptions and other daily situations allows a counselor to relax and keep anxiety from taking over many scenarios.

It takes a combination of many leadership traits to make a school counselor effective. They must use listening skills and offer empathy in order to build relationships. A counselor must also perform assessments and coordinate activities and educational efforts. These duties mean they must remain flexible and exercise authority when appropriate.

Not one of these traits alone is enough, and no one is equally adept in all of them. They are taught and can be learned in a Master of Arts in Counseling with an emphasis in school counseling like the one offered by Wake Forest University. This graduate degree will prepare you for a career as a school counselor in almost any setting.
Sources: 1 2 3 ⁴ American Counseling Association, Assessment Skills for School Counselors Mind Tools, Empathy at Work Education World, School Counselors Reflective On What Makes Them Effective Fast Company, 5 Ways To Improve Your Listening Skills

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Leadership Traits Every Counselor Should Have

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Far from simply setting up student schedules and administering placement and academic evaluation tests, school counselors are leaders who can have a huge impact on the acceleration and the enhancement of learning. They must possess the ability to negotiate, persuade others their ideas are worthwhile, and collaborate with principals and other school officials.

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Every great leader understands the importance of managing people effectively, building a teamwork mindset, and moving everyone toward a common goal. But when it comes to just how to do that, there's more than one approach.

Whether you're studying to become a business administrator or aspiring to be one, understanding different management theories now will help you become a more effective and well-rounded leader in the future.

Organizational leadership is just one of several theories you'll likely explore in a business management degree program, but you can also learn more about it below.

Organizational leadership is a people-oriented approach to management based on the idea that motivated employees are likely to be more effective and productive. Unlike other conventional leadership methods, organizational leadership utilizes action-based and results-based strategies to empower employees to work together toward a common goal.

An effective organizational leader excels at understanding the strengths and talents of each employee and is able to leverage those skills to help both the company and its people succeed. They're the kind of leader who thrives on constant innovation, responds flexibly to change, is strategic with the organization and the direction it is going, and is able to understand the worldview of their employees. In other words, think of this leader as the managerial glue that holds an organization together.

Whether or not this is your first time hearing about this kind of leadership, it probably won't be your last. Organizational leadership can be applied in almost every industry-from healthcare to finance and beyond-and it's gaining popularity as more and more organizations are recognizing the need for their leaders to have stronger people skills and strategic interpersonal awareness. That said, taking the time to understand this type of leadership development now will only help you in the future when you step into a leadership role.

A degree from a respected university can be key in helping you be prepared for this type of leadership. Education is always important for leadership development, and the right business degree could help you be prepared by teaching you about leadership strategies and techniques that can help.

Strategic leadership is all about taking informed actions that guide your people toward set objectives. So, if you think about it as a selection of choices and decisions that are aimed at achieving a specific goal in order to succeed, you'll notice the link between strategy and organizational leadership.

Strategy also gives you a framework to use when you're considering the actions and processes you want to use in order to communicate, empower, and direct your employees. It's more than a plan of action or policy-strategy in management is about creating a vision that moves your company forward. In an organization this type of strategy is key to success.

An organizational analysis can help you better understand how your business functions. In most cases, an analysis will review areas like work environment, operations, growth, and personnel. Many important details can emerge about the functions and capacity of an organization through an organizational analysis. It's important for leaders to do these periodically so they can identify problems or inefficiencies in their organization and come up with strategies for resolving them. For this reason, strategy and analysis often go hand-in-hand for an organization.

Beyond identifying areas of strength and weakness, an organizational analysis can help your company find innovative solutions, like new ways to structure incentives so employees are more motivated and productive.

Vision is a clear, compelling, and practical picture of your organization's future. It's an essential element for successful leadership-but it's different than your company's mission or strategy. Vision is identifying what the future can be, then communicating that idea in a way that inspires your employees.

The purpose of vision is to unite your organization and employees around a collective idea of the future. It's especially important in organizational leadership, as vision acts as your company's North Star to guide everyone in the right direction. With a vision laid out, you'll be better equipped to make day-to-day decisions, create and execute goals, and identify core beliefs.

It should come as no surprise that organizational leaders play a critical role in setting the tone for company culture. They're responsible for defining, exemplifying, and rewarding the work environment they want to foster. Oftentimes, people in leadership positions teach company culture through social interactions with their employees.

As an organizational leader, it's important to recognize how your actions and worldview influence the workplace environment. Leaders who value an open worldview recognize their actions directly impact their employees and vice versa. On the other hand, leaders with a closed worldview can be less adaptive to change and be blindsided by situations they can't control.

Conflict is bound to happen in the workplace. When people work together day after day, it's only a matter of time before personalities clash or a miscommunication causes friction. Unfortunately, conflict can't always be avoided, but it can be successfully managed.

Effective leaders are able to create a work atmosphere where their employees feel safe to communicate concerns and that those concerns will be addressed in a timely manner. If left unchecked, conflict can snowball and cause further negative effects, such as decreased productivity or increased employee turnover. Unresolved conflict can also significantly stunt your growth, damage your company's reputation, and ultimately affect your bottom line.

Communication is an essential management component in organizational leadership. Whether the purpose is updating employees on new policies, addressing personnel shifts, or to listening to the opinions of employees, communication is at the core of effective management.

As you've probably heard before, communication is a two-way street. One of the best things you can do as a leader is to make sure your employees feel heard and respected. Listening to employee issues and concerns builds trust and loyalty, which in turn drives increased motivation and productivity. Organizational leaders can learn a lot by listening to issues or concerns before they become formal grievances or create internal conflict.

Transformational Leadership vs. Organizational Leadership
Both are focused on employee motivation to drive organizational success, but transformational leadership leans more into the idea that employees can be more motivated when they're given the autonomy to be innovative and creative.
Authentic Leadership vs. Organizational Leadership
These styles are similar in that they both promote transparency in leadership, but authentic leadership takes it a step further. The authentic approach is more focused on leaders being genuine and true to themselves, while organizational managers lead with more strength and structure.
Adaptive Leadership vs. Organizational Leadership
When it comes to solving business issues, adaptive leadership takes a more leader-focused approach. Unlike organizational leadership, which relies on employee success to gain organizational success, adaptive leadership relies more on the leader's ability to problem solve and overcome challenges in order to achieve success.
Situational Leadership vs. Organizational Leadership
The guiding principle in a situational leadership approach is that for a leader to be successful, they need to be adaptable and task oriented. While organizational leadership also relies on a leader's adaptability, it's not so much task oriented.
Visionary Leadership vs. Organizational Leadership
Like the name implies, visionary leaders rule with vision and give their employees the freedom to come up with the best route for bringing it to life. In an organizational management approach, the responsibility of carrying out a company's vision rests more on the leader than the employee.

To be a successful organizational leader, it takes a mixture of experience, education, and a little trial and error. Even if you're not currently working as an organizational leader, you can still build your skills now by practicing self-leadership, transparency, and ownership in your everyday life.

A degree from a top university can help you be prepared to be an effective organizational leader. A business degree from an accredited university will enhance your understanding of strategy and analysis and prepare you for helping your organization thrive. Like anything, leadership is a learning process. If you want to up your leadership skills or get an edge on the competition, a business degree program is a great place to start.

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Every great leader understands the importance of managing people effectively, building a teamwork mindset, and moving everyone toward a common goal. But when it comes to just how to do that, there's more than one approach.

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How to Develop a Compelling Leadership Philosophy

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Your leadership philosophy is how you view yourself in the role of a leader. Here, we share how to develop your own leadership philosophy.

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Creating your Personal Leadership Philosophy

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The Writing Center • University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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Book Reviews – The Writing Center • University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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What this handout is about This handout will help you write a book review, a report or essay that offers a critical perspective on a text. It offers a process and suggests some strategies for writing book reviews. What is … Read more

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As a professional school counselor, I believe that:

All students have dignity and worth and have a right to a welcoming, safe, and mutually respectful learning environment.

All students have the ability and right to learn and should be given the opportunity to do so.

All students' ethnic, cultural, racial, sexual, and ability differences should be valued and considered in planning, implementing, and evaluating a school counseling program.

School counseling services must be student-centered, data-driven, goal-oriented, and based on the developmental student competencies for all students.

Successful student learning requires the active participation, collaboration, mutual respect, and individual accountability of students, teachers, staff, parents, and community members.

The comprehensive school counseling program is a significant and integral factor of the total instructional curriculum, designed to promote the growth of all students in academic, career, and personal/social development.

Be empathic and compassionate. I will recognize the uniqueness and personal worth of each student, and value their individual contributions to the school community.

Engage in professional development and leadership activities to improve my competency in regards to the latest educational trends and standards.

Adhere to the professional school counseling ethics established by the American School Counselor Association.

Assist and encourage all students to reach their fullest potential and prepare all students to be college, career, and community ready.

Align my programming efforts to support an accepting, safe, and respectful school climate.

Be committed to implementing innovative, student-centered, and system-focused school counseling services to best meet the needs of all students.

Create an environment that meets the academic, social, emotional, creative, and physical needs of all individuals so they can learn, continuously improve, and meet the challenges of an ever-changing society.

Advocate for and support all students in becoming successful, responsible, and contributing members of the community.

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As a professional school counselor, I believe that: All students have dignity and worth and have a right to a welcoming, safe, and mutually respectful learning environment. All students have the ability and right to learn and should be given the opportunity to do so.

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Sample Interview Questions - American School Counselor Association (ASCA)

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How do you handle stress? Stress is part of schools; how does the ASCA National Model help to manage it? School counselors are confronted with a lot of stressful circumstances and stories. How will you maintain your professionalism and your personal wellness when confronted with these?

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2022 ASCA Forum: Critical Issues in School Counseling, Panel 2

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ASCA Research: School Counselors Addressing Racism and Bias
Angie Hickman, ASCA Director of...

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Issues School Counselors Face | Wake Forest University

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Top 4 issues school counselors face and tips on how to overcome them.

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Sample Case Studies in Elementary Schools

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Sample Case Studies in Elementary Schools

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Elementary school counselor: One of the greatest servant leadership roles in our educational system

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Elementary school counselor: One of the greatest servant leadership roles in our educational system

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The role of an elementary school counselor is one of the greatest servant leadership roles that exist in our educational system. As an elementary school counselor, I have the divine privilege to create, shape, and mold social-emotional foundations for my students to become the most resilient versions of themselves.

As an elementary school counselor, I find joy in serving our families and the community. I believe school counselors all possess a light that creates endless cycles of hope, love, patience, forgiveness, resilience, and perseverance. In elementary education, I find that the light that we possess is vital in helping to create and sustain the current and next generations. Often overlooked because of our age range of students, the elementary school counselor plays a critical role at the beginning of a student's sense of well-being. I have always believed that I carry the weight of making sure that all of my K-4 students understand their identity as a part of society; turn outward to serve their peers with respect, kindness, compassion; and develop resilience in the face of challenges in and outside of the school system.

Counselor Wright teaching her students about defense mechanisms.
Ashley Wright

As a school counselor, I believe that my actions are important and must be intentional. All school counselors hold the unique power to heal or destroy generations of students. Every school year brings about new seasons, new experiences, new levels of growth. With this in mind, it is imperative that I take the time to nurture the seeds (my students) that have been given to me to plant. In elementary settings, our students - like seeds - have no control of the environment in which they end up. Our students come as they are physically, socially, and emotionally. I have had the privilege to have all different types of students from the most affluent to those most in need. What I have realized, more than anything, is that no matter what, all different kinds of seeds need to be planted, watered, and given time to grow. The passion behind this realization allows me to push forward building relationships with my students, staff, and parents.

Although we live in a society that has become very politicized and divided, I have realized now more than ever as a school counselor that our communities aren't the enemy. We need them as much as they need us. School is essential in making sure our students thrive academically, socially, and emotionally. Despite racial disparities, chaos, political division, cultural issues, etc., I have found that I must make sure that my students and their families know that they have my support. I must remain a bridge to connect parents and the school systems to help students succeed.

School counselors serve as connectors to endless pathways of opportunity and purpose. Through the years, my students' parents and I may disagree at times, but my role as a servant leader has consistently ignited the light within me. This encourages me to think without bias, allows me to listen, empathize, and set actions in place that include respect, compassion, and commitment. When I am exhibiting these traits, I feel deeply connected in my relationships and ability to serve as a team player for student success. I am the connector. I am the light that continues to shine bright!

Connecting with parents feels as though I am a real train conductor at times. Typically, school years move with pace and purpose. We always aim for our destination, but at times the journey seems dark, lonely, and hopeless. As a school counselor "conductor", I often find myself stepping into a role similar to that of the great Harriet Tubman. Our students are the passengers of our trains at our campuses. They bring their emotional cargo every day and it's our job as school counselors to remain committed to take them to that place of freedom, peace, joy, love, gentleness, self-control, and forgiveness.

It's our job to take our students to that place of freedom, peace, joy, love, gentleness, self-control, and forgiveness.
Ashley Wright

There are times within my school year journey in which my train travels through dark passages, but I am obligated to make sure that my light stays on to guide all the students to safety as best I can. And, to make sure that we always continue pressing on.

Being named as a finalist for the 2022 ASCA School Counselor of the Year, I'm able to advocate for all elementary school counselors across the country. I hope my fellow educators can relate, review, reflect, and reform practices to continue being the light and connector for their schools. We matter. We exist. We are just as powerful, dynamic, and important as our fellow teachers in education. I'll use my platform to help others closely examine the broken foundations of elementary settings and help create more opportunities for school counselors to positively impact student success. The nation's future starts with elementary schools, where we as counselors possess the greatest light to bring about positive change.

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Civic Nation BrandVoice: The Power Of The Elementary School Counselor

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The role of an elementary school counselor is one of the greatest servant leadership roles that exist in our educational system. As an elementary school counselor, I have the divine privilege to create, shape, and mold social-emotional foundations for my students to become the most resilient versions of themselves.

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Spread the loveThere are four major styles of leadership which apply well in the educational setting. While each of these styles has its good points, there is a wide berth of variation, and in fact, transformational leadership is truly an amalgamation of the best attributes of the other three.

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Reflection Questions to Assess Your Values

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Reflection Questions to Assess Your Values

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School counselors must also begin to recognize areas of conflict between personal and professional values. They must clarify their personal core beliefs and values and ensure their values will not be exposed at the expense of students' exploration of their own beliefs.

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The more that you, as a leader, manage each of these areas, the higher your emotional intelligence. So, let's look at each element in more detail and examine how you can grow as a leader.

Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

1. Self-awareness

If you're self-aware, you always know how you feel, and you know how your emotions and your actions can affect the people around you. Being self-aware when you're in a leadership position also means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses, and it means behaving with humility.

So, what can you do to improve your self-awareness?

Keep a journal. Journals help you improve your self-awareness. If you spend just a few minutes each day writing down your thoughts, this can move you to a higher degree of self-awareness.

2. Self-regulation

Leaders who regulate themselves effectively rarely verbally attack others, make rushed or emotional decisions, stereotype people, or compromise their values. Self-regulation is all about staying in control.

This element of emotional intelligence, according to Goleman, also covers a leader's flexibility and commitment to personal accountability.

So, how can you improve your ability to self-regulate?

Hold yourself accountable. If you tend to blame others when something goes wrong, stop. Make a commitment to admit to your mistakes and to face the consequences, whatever they are. You'll probably sleep better at night, and you'll quickly earn the respect of those around you.

Practice being calm. The next time you're in a challenging situation, be very aware of how you act. Do you relieve your stress by shouting at someone else? Practice deep-breathing exercises to calm yourself. Also, try to write down all of the negative things you want to say, and then rip it up and throw it away. Expressing these emotions on paper (and not showing them to anyone!) is better than speaking them aloud to your team. What's more, this helps you challenge your reactions to ensure that they're fair!

3. Motivation

Self-motivated leaders work consistently toward their goals, and they have extremely high standards for the quality of their work.

How can you improve your motivation?

Re-examine why you're doing your job. It's easy to forget what you really love about your career. So, take some time to remember why you wanted this job. If you're unhappy in your role and you're struggling to remember why you wanted it, try the Five Whys technique to find the root of the problem. Starting at the root often helps you look at your situation in a new way. And make sure that your goal statements are fresh and energizing. For more on this, see our article on Goal Setting.

4. Empathy

For leaders, having empathy is critical to managing a successful team or organization. Leaders with empathy have the ability to put themselves in someone else's situation. They help develop the people on their team, challenge others who are acting unfairly, give constructive feedback, and listen to those who need it.

If you want to earn the respect and loyalty of your team, then show them you care by being empathic.

How can you improve your empathy?

Respond to feelings. You ask your assistant to work late - again. And although he agrees, you can hear the disappointment in his voice. So, respond by addressing his feelings. Tell him you appreciate how willing he is to work extra hours, and that you're just as frustrated about working late. If possible, figure out a way for future late nights to be less of an issue (for example, give him Monday mornings off).

5. Social Skills

Leaders who do well in the social skills element of emotional intelligence are great communicators. They're just as open to hearing bad news as good news, and they're experts at getting their team to support them and be excited about a new mission or project.

Leaders who have good social skills are also good at managing change and resolving conflicts diplomatically. They're rarely satisfied with leaving things as they are, but they don't sit back and make everyone else do the work: they set an example with their own behavior.

So, how can you build social skills?

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Emotional Intelligence in Leadership - Learning How to Be More Aware

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Relating to others is vital in today's workplace. Learn how to build your emotional intelligence (EI) with this article.

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This piece offers a useful next step for anyone who has been interested in learning about emotional intelligence, but hasn't created a plan for improving their own EI yet.

What are Emotional Intelligence Activities and Exercises?

As the name suggests, emotional intelligence activities and exercises are attempts to build, develop, and maintain one's emotional intelligence, often called EI or EQ for Emotional Quotient.

Many people are interested in improving their EI, for a variety of reasons.

Some of the most common reasons to work on your EI include:

Wanting to succeed in a leadership role;

Trying to fit in with a new organization or new team;

Attempting to branch out of your network and make new friends or contacts;

Starting a new business and wanting to improve your customer service.

And, of course, many people want to enhance their EI simply to understand themselves and the people they interact with on a deeper level. There is no downside to becoming more emotionally intelligent and the benefits can be numerous.

If you're interested in enhancing your EI, rest assured that you are not alone in your goal! Read on to learn how to go about meeting your goal.

Tips for Using Emotional Intelligence Tools

Whether you're looking to build your own emotional intelligence, encourage its development in your children or students, or trying to boost your team's or organization's EQ, there are many activities, tools, and resources you can use.

You can find a few of them below.

Tips for Enhancing Your Own Emotional Intelligence

If your goal is to boost your own emotional intelligence or help your clients boost their emotional intelligence (e.g., any EI work on an individual level), keep these seven tips in mind:

1. Reflect on your own emotions;

2. Ask others for perspective;

3. Be observant (of your own emotions);

4. Use "the pause" (e.g., taking a moment to think before speaking);

5. Explore the "why" (bridge the gap by taking someone else's perspective);

6. When criticized, don't take offense. Instead, ask: What can I learn?

7. Practice, practice, practice (Bariso, 2016).

Tips for Enhancing the Emotional Intelligence of Teams

If you're looking to enhance your team's emotional intelligence, keep these 7 tips in mind:

1. Have a ring leader;

2. Identify team members' strengths and weaknesses;

3. Spark passion;

4. Build team norms;

5. Develop creative ways to manage stress;

6. Allow team members to have a voice;

7. Encourage employees to work and play together (Rampton, n.d.).

EQ experts Vanessa Urch Druskat and Steven B. Wolff tell us that three factors are absolutely essential to the success of a workgroup:

1. Trust among members;

2. A sense of group identity;

3. A sense of group efficacy (2001).

If it sounds to you like these three factors are strongly associated with emotional intelligence, you're right! You can't have an emotionally intelligent team with emotionally intelligent members, but it takes more than that⁠⁠-you need emotionally intelligent norms and values, the right team atmosphere, and willingness to build team EQ.

To do that, you'll need:

Understanding and regulation of emotions at the individual level;

Understanding and managing of emotions at the group level;

Awareness of and willingness to work with emotions outside the group.

Make sure to keep these three levels in mind as you work on building your emotionally intelligent team; remember that it's not all about the individuals on the team, but about how they interact with each other and with those outside the group (Druskat & Wolff, 2001).

7 Emotional Intelligence Activities

Not to worry! There are many activities and exercises that are designed to do just that. Some are intended for individuals and others for groups, but you're sure to find something that will meet your needs.

3 Exercises for Developing and Improving EI

These three exercises are meant to help individuals build their emotional intelligence and they are particularly helpful for leaders who want to boost their EI/EQ.

1. Emotional Intelligence Assessment for Leaders

Leaders have a big job to do in any organization: they need to shape, communicate, and contribute to the organizational vision. Naturally, emotional intelligence helps immensely in this role.

This is an activity that leaders can do to assess their own emotional intelligence, which is the first step towards improving it. Find more emotional intelligence assessments here.

This activity consists of 10 descriptions of vision-killing behaviors that a leader may engage in, and a scale upon which to rate your own engagement in each behavior from 'very seldom' to 'very often.'

The vision-killing behaviors include:

1. Treating people badly⁠-such as not showing people they care, forgetting to say thank you, not respecting people, not making people feel valued;

2. Living by the adage "Do as I say, not as I do," and not setting good examples;

3. Focusing on too many things at once;

4. Pushing too hard on the task and forgetting the people;

5. Not giving clear direction;

6. Giving inconsistent direction;

7. Not taking responsibility for failure;

8. Focusing on the detail and forgetting to tell the "whys" or the big picture;

9. Showing little or no personal commitment to the vision;

10. Allowing people who aren't performing the job to remain.

If you find yourself frequently engaging in these behaviors, that's a good indication that your leader EQ is low. Pay close attention to the three behaviors you engage in the most often and commit to working on reducing or removing those behaviors entirely.

2. Temperament Analysis

Another good assessment activity is the temperament analysis. It was designed to help participants learn about temperament, understand their own temperament, and learn how to work with it.

To get started, keep in mind that our temperament is made up of tendencies and feelings that are influenced by four factors or parameters:

Genetic Inheritance

Physical Attributes

Life Experiences

Environmental Conditions

To give this activity a try, get started with the temperament questionnaire:

1. Describe your temperament with three adjectives. Choose the ones that describe you best.

2. Suggest three adjectives that others use to describe your temperament.

3. Go through each of the adjectives identified in the above two questions and see if each one is because of (or how much each one is driven by) Genetic Inheritance, Physical Attributes, Life Experiences, or Environmental Conditions.

4. How does each of the temperamental factors affect you on a personal level?

5. Which of these factors do you want to change and why?

Think about each of the questions in detail and try discussing with a friend to maximize the learning opportunity.

3. Be the Fog (Regulate Your Emotions)

It can be very difficult for many of us to accept criticism, especially if receiving criticism provokes strong emotions . This simple exercise will help you "be the fog" and learn how to regulate and modulate your emotions in a difficult situation.

Here's what to do:

"Act like a fog! Imagine you are a fog. When someone throws a stone at you, you absorb that stone without throwing the stone back. This is a very easy and effective technique to use against people who keep criticizing you repeatedly." (Skills Converged website)

For example, if someone tells you something like:

"You just don't understand."

"You are lazy."

"You are always late."

"You don't feel responsible."

Respond with:

"Yes, I just don't understand."

"Yes, I am lazy sometimes."

"Yes, I was late."

"Yes, I just don't take responsibility."

When you accept the criticism that is thrown your way (without actually taking it to heart), you will find that you disarm the person criticizing you. To practice, ask someone you know well to criticize you at rapid speed, one after the other, and employ the fogging technique to counter it.

Emotional Intelligence Group Activities

If you'd like to help a group work on building their EQ or work on your own EQ in a group setting, you're in luck! There are tons of group activities focused on developing, enhancing, and maintaining your emotional intelligence.

Check out the four examples below.

4. Accepting Your Emotions

This exercise can help you work on one of the most fundamental skills related to emotional intelligence: understanding and accepting your own emotions.

You'll need a group of people for this activity, but you could also modify it to work with just one pair. Here's how to do it:

Divide your group into pairs and have them sit far enough away from the other pairs to get a sense of privacy.

Have each pair decide who will go first.

Tell the group members that they will each have a chance to share an experience where they felt like a victim. Once one partner has explained the experience, they should explain how they felt as a result of their experience in as much detail as possible, thinking about their specific feelings at the moment and how it impacted them afterward.

Allow 15 minutes or so for the first partner to share and for the pair to discuss, have them switch roles.

If you are running this activity in a group, bring everyone back together and have a group discussion using questions like these:

What did you think first when you were told to share a difficult experience with another person?

How did you manage to share it? How did you feel when you shared it with someone else?

How did you feel after acknowledging and accepting your emotions?

Does this exercise help with accepting how certain experiences make us feel and that it is okay to feel a certain way after negative experiences?

Did you feel more at peace after accepting your emotions generated by your experience?

Would you consider using this exercise to evaluate and acknowledge your emotions after negative experiences?

5. Making Eye Contact

As the name of this exercise suggests, it involves using eye contact to better understand our own emotions and how we connect emotionally with others.

Gather some index cards and distribute them to your participants, then ask them to spread out within the room. Tell them to imagine themselves in an art gallery or a museum.

Next, have them move through the three stages:

Stage One:

1. Ask your participants to roam around the room as if they are in a public space while not making eye contact with anyone else. They should improvise and act the role. Allow one minute for this part.

2. Stop everyone and ask the participants to make a note of their feelings on their cards.

Stage Two:

1. For this round, ask your participants to seek out eye contact as they go about the room. However, as soon as they have made eye contact, they should break it and look away. Allow two minutes for this part.

2. Stop everyone and ask them to record their feelings on their cards.

Stage Three:

1. In this round, ask your participants to seek out eye contact and as soon as they have made eye contact with anyone they should pair up with that person. They should stand side by side and do not establish eye contact with anyone else. Allocate two minutes for this part.

2. Stop everyone and ask them to record their feelings on their cards.

3. Bring everyone back together and follow with a discussion.

Allot 10 minutes or so for the group discussion. Here are a few questions to guide your discussion:

While going through various stages of the exercise how did you feel?

How did it feel when you were making eye contact and you had to break it straight away?

How did it feel when you made eye contact and you could approach the person to pair up?

If you were slow to pair up with someone, how did it feel to go about finding someone you could make eye contact with?

How easy was it to make eye contact with someone?

How close do you feel with people that you maintained eye contact with?

What pre-conditioning dictates our behavior in making eye contact or maintaining eye contact?

How does this compare between different societies?

This exercise will help you and your group see just how vital eye contact is to emotional connection.

6. If You Knew...

This activity is an excellent choice for new teams or as an icebreaker at small events. It will encourage participants to share information about themselves with others in a way that encourages intimacy and group cohesion.

Start with a flip chart or a whiteboard with these questions on it:

What was the happiest moment in your life?

What was your unhappiest experience in life?

What motivates you to get up in the morning?

What do you use your money for?

Who is the most important person in your life?

Describe your best friend.

Once everyone is ready to get started, ask them all to sit in a semi-circle facing a flipchart or whiteboard. Randomly select one participant to answer the questions on the board, and tell them they have 10 minutes to go into as much detail as possible. Instruct the other participants not to ask questions or interrupt during those 10 minutes, then move on to the next participant.

At the end, pose these questions to get a good discussion started:

Did this activity help you to know your team members better?

Did it help explain certain behaviors and actions of co-workers?

Would it be helpful to share some personal information with those that we work closely with?

Did this session help clear up some of the misunderstandings between team members?

Completing this exercise will likely result in you feeling more connected and comfortable with the other participants, and help you learn how to read emotions in others and listen attentively.

You can find this activity at its and find more EQ framework, charts and diagrams here.

What would it actually look like, to live in a culture where empathy and EQ were part of our vision? Cleveland Clinic made this video as one vision of empathy, and the ability to see other's pain.

If you watched the video, what parts did you find most insightful? We would love to hear from you in our comments section below.

7. Exercise to Increase Your Self-Awareness

All you need to start improving your self-awareness in a group setting is a stack of 3 x 5 index cards. Oh, and a group of people!

Here are the instructions:

Part One:

1. Ask the participants "How do you feel?" Ask each participant individually instead of in the larger group, if possible.

2. Most people will probably say they feel fine, so prepare to start the exercise with this: "Why do we almost always say we are fine, even when we are not?"

3. Continue the discussion with questions like:

1. "Do you find it easy to talk about your feelings?"

2. "What makes it hard to talk about your feelings?"

3. "Can you consciously shift your feelings from one to another?"

Part Two:

1. Discuss how important it is to understand the wide range of human emotions so you can better understand yourself and others, and give yourself the opportunity to regulate your feelings.

2. Instruct the group to think of as many emotions as they can and write one on each card.

3. Spread the cards around on a table so you can help the group avoid creating duplicates.

Part Three:

1. Collect all cards and put them upside down on the table.

2. Ask each participant to pick two cards at random.

3. Take turns asking each participant to reveal their cards and explain what it would take to get from one emotion to the other.

4. After the participant provides their explanation, allow other participants to share their own explanations.

5. Follow up with a discussion, using questions like:

1. Do you think you came up with many emotions?

2. Was it easy?

3. Are you surprised there are so many emotions?

4. Was it easy to switch from one emotion to another?

6 EQ Worksheets (PDFs)

If you like circling, underlining, and filling in the blanks to work on improving your emotional intelligence, you might find these 6 EQ worksheets helpful.

1. Giving Feedback: Improving Your Self-Awareness

Here are all the questions it poses:

1. Think of when you were a leader and you took a stand and made sure everyone followed.

1. How did you feel?

2. How do you think others felt?

2. Think of when you were a leader and took a stand on an issue and then backed down.

1. How did you feel?

2. How do you think others felt?

3. Think of when you were a leader and didn't take a stand on a particular issue when you should have.

1. How did you feel?

2. How do you think others felt?

4. Think of when you were an employee and took a stand on an issue and did not back down.

1. How did you feel?

2. How do you think others felt?

3. How did your boss feel?

5. Think of when you were an employee and took a stand on an issue, felt forced and backed down.

1. How did you feel?

2. How do you think others felt?

3. How did your boss feel?

6. Think of when you were an employee and didn't take a stand on an issue and then later strongly regretted that you should have not backed down.

1. How did you feel?

2. How do you think others felt?

3. How did your boss feel?

If you complete this worksheet and want to continue the self-exploration and EQ-boosting, go through these discussion questions:

How useful were the questions?

Did you discover something about yourself that you were not aware of before?

If you completed this worksheet in a group setting, you can also use these two questions to spark a useful discussion:

Did you get inspired by what others found about themselves?

Did their thoughts make you feel more comfortable about yourself?

2. Self-Awareness Activity

Another good worksheet for enhancing your self-awareness comes from Florida State University.

It begins with a great point: it's hard to make changes to yourself when you aren't sure where to start! Enhancing your self-awareness will help you figure out what your strengths are, where your EQ competency levels lie, and where you should focus your self-improvement efforts.

The worksheet lists 30 strengths or character traits that you might feel are strengths or areas for you to improve. This list includes traits like:

On one side, there is space to identify three strengths you have and on the other, there is space to identify three traits you would like to work on.

If you think of any strength or an area you'd like to improve that is not included on the list, add it in any way. Your list should be personalized to you, so add and edit what you need!

3. Social Awareness Activity

If you feel comfortable with your self-awareness but are less comfortable with your social awareness, this worksheet is the one for you!

Social awareness is all about how well we understand others, how we recognize and identify emotions in others, and how we manage emotions in social situations.

The worksheet includes five pictures of faces with various expressions and a list of emotions on the other side, like:

The instructions state that you should feel free to match more than one emotion with each picture and that you're free to add more emotions if you'd like. The point of the worksheet is not to create a one-to-one match or to get them "right." Instead, the point is to be more aware of the emotions of those around you and to be more attentive and responsive in your interactions with others.

4. Relationship Management Activity

The worksheet opens with the following instructions:

Write the names of three of the most important people in your life.

Think about what you know about each person and list two traits, hobbies, or features of each of them (e.g., someone runs marathons and tells funny jokes).

Finally, the worksheet provides a tip if you're having trouble:

If you had trouble listing something about the people in your life, you may want to pay more attention to those around you. Learning something unique or personal about the individuals in your life can help you maintain caring and positive relationships.

5. Self-Management Activity

If you're more interested in improving your self-management skills than your relationship management skills, this worksheet can help!

It opens with this description:

"Self-management builds on the basis of self-awareness and is the ability to control your emotions so that they don't control you. Self-management means you're able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances."

The worksheet lists some positive and negative emotions for reference.

Positive emotions include:

The negative emotions include:

This activity can be focused on any emotion, but the worksheet targets anger. Here are the instructions:

1. Think of a time when you were angry and how you handled it.

2. Describe your reaction and behaviors in the lines provided below.

3. Fill in the blanks: "The last time I was angry I..."

Once you have filled in the blanks above, move on to planning for how you will handle future episodes of anger:

1. Think about how you would like to process anger in the future.

2. Describe healthy management skills and behaviors and write them in the lines provided. You might list management and coping skills like:

1. Breathe deeply

2. Take a break

3. Go for a walk

4. Take a shower

5. Distract yourself

6. Lie down

7. Think before speaking

8. Write about it

Keep these planned future coping skills in mind and make sure to pull them out the next time you get angry.

6. Name Game

This worksheet is a great choice for teens and pre-teens who are just beginning to learn about emotional intelligence and working on building valuable social skills.

The worksheet includes two spaces to write out two names: the teen or pre-teen's own name, and the name of a friend or family member who has influenced their life.

In the first space, the user should write out each letter of their name in a vertical format. Next, they will note an adjective that describes one of their positive traits for each letter of their name.

For example, if your name is Jane Doe, you might write:

J - Joyful
A - Assertive
N - Nice
E - Energetic
D - Delightful
O - Optimistic
E - Even-tempered

The user should complete their own name, then do the same for the person who has influenced their lives.

Completing this worksheet will help the user to start thinking about themselves, their personality, and the traits and characteristics of others. This will help them stay open-minded and attentive to emotions - both their own emotions and the emotions of others.

Emotional Intelligence Workbooks (PDFs)

If you're looking for a workbook to guide you through improving your emotional intelligence, you have several options. Here are just a few of the workbooks available (some paid, some free):

PowerPoint Presentations on EI (PPTs and Images)

Workbooks aren't your style? Are you more of a visual learner? No problem!

For more information on emotional intelligence, check out these slideshows and presentations on the subject:

Emotional Intelligence: How Your Emotions Influence Your Life at Work and at Home by Rebecca Gulliford from The University of Buffalo School of Management

7 Emotional Intelligence Programs, Workshops, and Webinars

5 Online Courses for EI

To get even deeper into understanding the concept of emotional intelligence and learning how to build and continue to develop your own EI, there are several courses that you might find useful:

Useful Emotional Intelligence Movies, TEDx Talks, and YouTube Videos

For those who want a less intensive crash course in emotional intelligence, there are some excellent videos you can check out, like:

The Power of Emotional Intelligence TEDTalk by Travis Bradberry

6 Steps to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence TEDTalk by Ramona Hacker

The People Currency: Practicing Emotional Intelligence TEDTalk by Jason Bridges

What is Emotional Intelligence from The School of Life

Daniel Goleman Introduces Emotional Intelligence from Big Think

Emotional Intelligence - Understanding EQ with Daniel Goleman - Animated Book Review from Practical Psychology

Rachel Lyons, from Fitch Learning, lists these award-winning movies where you can see emotional intelligence on display:

Building an EQ Toolkit - Discussion Questions and Notes

If you're serious about improving your EQ (or your clients' EQ), you might want to use some of the resources in this piece to build your own EQ toolkit.

As you build your toolkit, here are some concepts, notes, and discussion questions that you will want to keep in mind.

There are five key characteristics of EQ:

1. Self-awareness

2. Self-regulation

3. Motivation

4. Empathy

5. Social skills (Akers & Porter, 2018)

Those who are high in emotional intelligence are more likely to be successful in their career, in their social relationships, in their intimate and romantic relationships, and healthier both mentally and physically (Grewal & Salovey, 2006).

A popular item to include in your toolkit is the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, which can help readers improve their understanding of emotional intelligence and assess their own EQ level. If you decide to add the book to your toolkit, here are some excellent discussion questions for those who read the book:

1. How many members in the group were familiar with the term "emotional intelligence" before reading Emotional Intelligence 2.0?

2. What's the most important thing you discovered after reading Emotional Intelligence 2.0?

3. In your lifetime, have you felt an emotional hijacking similar to Butch Connor's during his run-in with the shark?

4. What are the physical symptoms you experience with emotion? An example might be your face turns red when you're angry.

5. How did you learn to recognize or manage your emotions? What about learning to recognize what other people are feeling and going through? (TalentSmart, 2013).

For quick, in-the-moment opportunities to enhance your EQ, there are three vital questions you can ask yourself:

1. Does this need to be said?

2. Does this need to be said by me?

3. Does this need to be said now?

For example, if you just noticed an employee doing something great at work but remember that they made a mistake a couple of weeks ago that you never addressed...

"No! Stop! Ask yourself:
Does this need to be said?
Does it need to be said by me?
Does it need to be said by me now?" (Bariso, 2015)

If you follow through with these three questions in this situation, you will likely find yourself making one of these conclusions:

You know, the criticism I wanted to share wasn't so important after all. My opinion may even be changing on this;

It might be better if I speak to their team leader first. Maybe what I saw a few weeks ago wasn't really the whole picture;

I definitely still need to talk to them about the problem I saw. But now's not the right time. Let me set a reminder to schedule an appointment with the person after I'm better prepared (Bariso, 2015).

A Take-Home Message

Keep in mind that everyone has their own unique starting point and their own pace for learning, and make sure not to put too much pressure on anyone to "get it" right away-even yourself!

What are your thoughts on how to build and maintain your emotional intelligence? Do these tools seem helpful?

What other tools and exercises have you found that can help boost EQ? Let us know in the comments!

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13 Emotional Intelligence Activities & Exercises (Incl. PDFs & Tools)

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This piece offers a useful next step for anyone who has been interested in learning about emotional intelligence, but hasn't created a plan for improving their own EI yet. As the name suggests, emotional intelligence activities and exercises are attempts to build, develop, and maintain one's emotional intelligence, often called EI or EQ for Emotional Quotient.