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Teachers' Strategies for Pronouncing and Remembering Students' Names Correctly

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Teachers' Strategies for Pronouncing and Remembering Students' Names Correctly

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That's why California's Santa Clara County Office of Education created the "" campaign. The initiative asks community members to take a pledge to pronounce names correctly in order to foster a sense that students of all backgrounds are valuable and belong.

The names of white and nonwhite children alike are mispronounced, Kohli and Solórzano write, but the experience is much more damaging for a child who "goes to school and reads textbooks that do not reference her culture, sees no teachers or administrators that look like her, and perhaps does not hear her home language," since these cues (plus advertisements, movies and other indicators of societal values at large) already communicate "that who they are and where they come from is not important." For one Latina study participant, having her name mispronounced made her wish her parents were more Americanized; a Sri Lankan American reported feeling that his name was "an imposition on others."

They're not imagining things. Kathryn Campbell-Kibler, a sociolinguist at The Ohio State University, says the effort we put into overcoming a "barrier to communication" depends on (and communicates) social values. "You see the difference if you think about the way Americans typically respond to somebody with a heavy French accent versus somebody with a heavy Mandarin accent," she explains. When it comes to names, an American who mispronounces the British surname St. Clair (think "Sinclair"), she says, will tend to have a sense of, "Oh, they have a fancy, special language, and if I don't know how to handle that, it's a flaw in me." Whereas a Chinese name might provoke the reaction: "Those names are really hard to understand, and it's not my responsibility to engage with that."

The latter also "happens a lot with white teachers responding to names that are seen as typically black," Campbell-Kibler says. According to Robert Bjork-a psychology professor at UCLA who is a leading scholar on human learning and memory-there are several reasons why names of all cultures can be difficult to remember. For starters, they're arbitrary labels, as opposed to a nickname like "Red" or "Tiny," which a person's physical appearance might trigger. Then there's the fact that "other demands often occupy our attentional and memory processes when we are meeting somebody new." Whether that's at a cocktail party or in a classroom with 33 children, distraction can make it impossible to recall a new name just minutes later. Even when initial storage is successful, Bjork says, retrieval is hampered because we accumulate a huge number of names over our lifetimes, many of which are similar.

On top of these difficulties, there can be linguistic barriers to pronouncing names that aren't in one's native tongue, particularly when dealing with differing sound systems. Professor Campbell-Kibler offers up Korean as an example. She says there are two separate sounds that occupy what an English speaker would think of as the "s" space, and a teacher might not have the cognitive capacity to perceive the difference between them.

"If I don't go and actually learn how to speak Korean extensively for years, I may just always get that wrong," she says, but this type of real linguistic constraint "doesn't come up all that often." In other words, teachers are capable of pronouncing most names correctly.
How then can educators overcome the hurdles to doing so?
It's tempting to put the first key practice-mustering a legitimate interest in the name-into the bucket labeled "duh" by Samantha Giles, a special education teacher at Hill Elementary School in Garden Grove, California, but it stems from neural complexities. Say you were to ask Professor Bjork how to spell and pronounce his last name. He explains that if he replied "Bee-york" you might ask why it is not pronounced "Bah-Jork," after which he would tell you that it is a Scandinavian name, similar to the word "fjord" where the "j" is pronounced like a "y." Or he might add that "Bjork" means "birch," as in the tree. An exchange like this, he says, "will exercise the very types of processing that enhance memory." In other words, it overcomes the cocktail party problem. The second essential step, he says, is "to produce-that is, actually say, someone's name, because retrieving a name makes that name more retrievable in the future than does just hearing it."

"How would you like me to say your child's name?" is the specific wording Professor Kohli recommends for parents, and the following for students:

"I don't know how to say your name yet, can you explain it to me? I'm working on learning it, and it's important to me to say it the way it's meant to be said, the way your parents say it."

Then try the name. Ask if you're right. Try again, "no matter how long it takes." Once you've got the proper pronunciation, repeat it aloud. Eighth-grade science teacher Carry Hansen, who also coaches cross-country and track as well as coordinating the advisory program for Trinity Valley School in Fort Worth, Texas, recommends using kids' names as much as possible, almost as obnoxiously as a telemarketer would, until they sink in.

If that whole process sounds awkward, good. Professor Bjork's research, conducted in partnership with Elizabeth Ligon Bjork, shows that difficulty learning something gives the thing being learned a sense of importance, and errors that trigger elaboration produce better retention. This concept of "desirable difficulties" means the discomfort of admitting you're having trouble pronouncing someone's name could actually aid in recall, and Bjork says "that such a clarifying exchange has a positive effect, not a negative effect, on the person whose name you are having trouble pronouncing."

Thanks to the power dynamic that makes it hard for a student to question a teacher, the onus of initiating this type of conversation falls on educators, in Kohli's view, and she says they should take a learner's approach in doing so. Start with a little soul-searching:

Is this name hard to pronounce, or is that just my vantage point? (Susan Balogh, a teacher at Baker School in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts, reminds herself, "Unless our names are Lakota, Penobscot or Apache in heritage, they are all 'foreign.' ") Then, be explicit, Kohli says, telling the class "that this is our limitation, not any fault of the student." Use the "I" statements suggested above and avoid the frustrated looks and embarrassed laughs that tend to accompany pronunciation difficulty. Hansen gives students permission to correct her; in fact, she advises, "tell the kid that they MUST correct you if you are saying their name incorrectly."

Many teachers report playing "the name game" and Professor Yeh, who teaches school counselors with caseloads of 200-500 students, takes a similar approach, asking each of her graduate students to share the story of their chosen name and its proper pronunciation on the first day of class. Then she, too, gets frank about it, declaring that "we won't consistently mispronounce a name because we are too afraid to ask, or too afraid to correct ourselves."

Yeh draws attention to another tactic that can help with pronunciation: learning the basic rules from a variety of languages, "like an 'x' in Chinese is pronounced as an 'sh' sound, with the tip of your tongue down, below your lower front teeth." (Just as "a" in Savita makes the "uh" sound thanks to Hindi origin, and the letter "j" in Spanish makes the sound English speakers attribute to the letter "h." If this seems like too much to wrap one's head around, remember the classic example of "ghoti" as an alternative English spelling of "fish," because "gh" makes the "f" sound in "enough," "o" makes the "i" sound in "women," and "ti" makes the "sh" sound in "nation.") Campbell-Kibler, the linguistics professor, confirms: "You can go find that out. Each language is a system, just like English, but the question is, is somebody willing to do that, and what influences how willing they are to do that?"

Even those who know how to say a name like a native speaker may hesitate for fear of cultural appropriation: "It might be socially a little strange to perfectly produce somebody's name as if I were saying it in the language," Campbell-Kibler says. That's why this diverse group of experts all come back to the same bottom-line recommendation: Ask the student and family which pronunciation they prefer.

It won't always be the one used at home. It is not uncommon for students to choose an Americanized pronunciation or a new name entirely. "At the end of the day, I have to respect the person standing in front of me," Campbell-Kibler says, "and if they are saying, 'Call me Joe,' OK, I'll call you Joe."

Just so long as it isn't for the expediency of school personnel. Professor Yeh says that in the early 2000s, she was told by students at Lower East Side Preparatory High School that they had been assigned an American name or asked to choose one. When kids "basically said, 'We want our Chinese names back,' " Yeh talked to teachers and administrators and was told they "couldn't possibly learn 300 Chinese names." And yet, when the students hosted a brown bag lunch where they offered to teach the proper pronunciation of their names, Yeh says, "almost every single teacher and counselor and staff member showed up."

In the absence of a similar initiative, teachers report using time-honored tricks to remember name pronunciation, like word association (which addresses Bjork's arbitrary label problem), writing down each syllable in English phonetics, and rhyming ("Alazaeia = Princess Leia" is one Giles uses), as well as new-fangled ones like name pronunciation websites (e.g., www.pronouncenames.com ).
What if you witness a mispronunciation by another adult?
Kohli says a classmate of her daughterbenefited from a Latina kindergarten teacher who referred to him as his parents did. His first-grade teacher, however, changed both the sounds and inflection. (Professor Yeh reminds, "With many of the names that have tildes or umlauts or little markings, that is actually really important, too." When making name tents and folders, she says, remember "it's not just the spoken word; it's the written name as well.") While Kohli encourages parents to be direct in advocating for their own child's name, she sought balance in her dual role as a professor and parent of a classmate, figuring, "I can't just go in there and slap down my research."

Instead, whenever the first-grade teacher was in earshot, she made a point to properly pronounce that student's name. Eventually, it worked.

And that might be the most important lesson Kohli and Solórzano have to offer: "[Since] students will often take the cue of fearing or celebrating difference from the climate set up by teachers, ... educators are in a unique position to shape the perceptions of their students" about themselves and others. In the age of growth mindset and "marvelous mistakes," teachers, counselors, literacy specialists, social workers, administrators, yard staff, PTA members and any other adult who interacts with children at a school can reframe name pronunciation as an opportunity rather than a challenge.

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Teachers' Strategies for Pronouncing and Remembering Students' Names Correctly | KQED

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That's why California's Santa Clara County Office of Education created the "" campaign. The initiative asks community members to take a pledge to pronounce names correctly in order to foster a sense that students of all backgrounds are valuable and belong.

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Many of us tend to move through the school day on autopilot, rarely going outside, and some days we don't go outside at all. But I've found that whenever I make time to get outside while at school, I feel better instantly. For whatever reason, going outside while working almost feels a little scandalous, like I'm playing hooky. Maybe that's part of the delight. However, the primary reason I feel better when I'm outside is best explained in the studies that link time spent outdoors with happiness and overall well-being.

A 2017 study in Environmental Health Perspectives, for example, found that "nature contact offers considerable promise in addressing a range of health challenges, including many, such as obesity, cardiovascular disease, depression, and anxiety, that are public health priorities."

Yet many of us spend most of our days under artificial lights in classrooms and offices, our faces illuminated by screens. We don't go outside unless we need to supervise an outdoor activity or move from one building to another. So many Americans are overworked, stressed, and anxious. And educators can struggle with these issues more than most, especially during the pandemic.

If something as simple as getting outside can help, it's worth considering-especially with the knowledge that it's healthier to be outside anyway.

How to Make It Happen

1. Schedule a solo walk, or plan to go with a colleague. Try to get out once a day, even if only for a few minutes. The exercise is nice, but the real benefit is having your spirits lifted by the world outside your school building. As Henry David Thoreau wrote, walking should be "the enterprise and adventure of the day." Think of how delightfully confused colleagues and students will be when you tell them you just returned from your "daily enterprise."

2. Take phone calls outside. Do this whenever possible, for both personal and work-related calls. For the win-win, walk while you talk.

3. Move small meetings to outdoor seating areas, such as picnic tables. This relaxes the tone of the meeting and brightens the mood. Ideally, you'll meet in a green space of some kind. In Your Brain on Nature, physician Eva M. Selhub and biophilosopher Alan C. Logan write, "Exposure to nature-based environments is associated with lower blood pressure and reduced levels of the stress hormone cortisol (and other objective markers of stress)."

4. Eat outside. If you have days without lunch duties or meetings, take the meal outside. Encourage others to join you.

5. Try walking meetings. They work surprisingly well both one-on-one and in small groups. A 2014 Stanford University study found that a walking meeting "opens up the free flow of ideas, and it is a simple and robust solution to the goals of increasing creativity and increasing physical activity." The lack of eye contact might also allow you and your colleagues to let your guard down a bit and be more honest. Someone can record notes on their phone, if needed.

6. Bring your work outside. This is helpful if you need to be less accessible for a while and also allows you to reap the stress-reducing, creativity-boosting benefits outlined above. And if you need to do writing or planning work, give your eyes-and brain, for that matter-a break and leave your laptop inside. Bring a notebook. While there's conflicting research about the creative benefits of writing by hand versus typing, going analog can slow you down just enough to allow new ideas to form that might not have otherwise.

7. Just take a short break. Bring a book, or clear your mind with some meditation. If you're aghast at the idea of taking this kind of break, keep in mind the paradoxical truth that taking breaks helps us to focus on our work.

None of these ideas are radical, yet actually doing any of them can feel radical when we're accustomed to spending entire school days inside. The more time we spend inside, the more we tend to believe that's where all the real work happens.

There are still plenty of occasions when, after a full day at school, I realize while walking to the parking lot that it's the first time I've been outside since I arrived that morning. The weather doesn't have to be perfect. As someone writing from New England, where the weather is... fickle, I can assure you that half of the options above are workable even in so-called inclement weather. You can keep seasonally appropriate clothes and footwear at school. Sometimes a brisk walk on a brisk day is exactly what you need.

It makes no difference whether your school is in a rural, suburban, or urban area. Many urban schools have access to green spaces, and if not, sometimes just exposure to the air and sky is enough. The point is simply to get outside. No Central Park required.

We take for granted the importance of getting our students outside-for learning, play, and exercise-because it benefits their mental and physical health. However, since our work is centered around serving others, we often forget about our own needs-in this case, that we need to get outside for the same reasons as our students. So, in the hustle of your school days, try stepping outside. Take advantage of this simple, accessible way to restore your energy, lift your spirits, and return to yourself.

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Many of us tend to move through the school day on autopilot, rarely going outside, and some days we don't go outside at all. But I've found that whenever I make time to get outside while at school, I feel better instantly. For whatever reason, going outside while working almost feels a little scandalous, like I'm playing hooky.

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What to Say Instead of 'I'm Proud of You'

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What to Say Instead of 'I'm Proud of You'

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Social & Emotional Learning (SEL)

A few phrases middle and high school teachers can use to cultivate conversation while celebrating student achievements.

In the past, when my high school students shared some good news-they'd aced the interview or made the team-I'd answer, beaming, "I'm so proud of you." I was genuinely happy for them, but something about my response felt off. First, it tended to end the conversation. Second, it shifted attention away from the student and onto me, as if my approval were the goal.

I wanted my students to spend more time basking in their accomplishments and taking ownership for their successes. As I experimented with how I responded to their achievements, I discovered four simple strategies.

1. 'Tell Me More'

My favorite phrase to help students slow down and savor a particular achievement is a simple "Tell me more." If I have a talkative student and plenty of time to listen, I might even open with a cheerful, "Tell me everything!"

Student: "I got a solo in the choir show."

Me: "I'm so happy for you! Tell me more."

Student: "I got my driver's license yesterday."

Me: "Congratulations! Tell me everything."

This strategy allows students to relive the moment and magnify their happiness through sharing. I also like the way the open-ended phrase gives students control over the details they choose to share.

2. 'You Must Feel...'

Turning your students' attention to their emotions also helps them more fully inhabit a moment. To support this, I often make a guess about their feelings. Instead of telling them I'm proud, I might say, "Wow! That's so exciting. You must feel really proud."

I still remember the first time I used this technique. In my study skills class, I leaned down to talk to a student who shyly shared that he had done well on a test in a class in which he usually struggled. Instead of answering, "I'm proud of you," I said, "I know how hard you worked. That must feel so satisfying." "Yes," he answered. And then he held my gaze with a well of emotion in his eyes. "Yes, it does."

Although naming students' emotions sounds as if it might shut down conversation, it generally has the opposite effect. In fact, asking students "How does that make you feel?" about a happy moment can sound unnatural ("Good, duh")-or like a TV therapist. Also, because some students are just building their emotional awareness and vocabulary, offering them some language can be a powerful opening. The trick is to make sure we pause afterward to allow space for students to confirm, elaborate, modify, or correct the guess-and to be alert to what they communicate with their tone and body language.

3. 'What Did You Do to Make That Happen?'

One of my primary goals is to help students become conscious of choices and patterns that lead to success. So when a student achieves a goal, I often follow up with variations on the question, "How did you make that happen?" I might say,"You got an A on your math test! That's fantastic. You must feel really happy. What did you do to make that happen?"

Some students can easily list all the steps. Others, less practiced in self-reflection, might answer with "I don't know" or "I guess the test was just easy." In that case, I often add my own observations, or questions, to help them build self-awareness: "I noticed that this week you worked with a math tutor and finished three out of five of your math assignments. That seems to have worked for you."

This gives students the opportunity to own their experience and see the teacher not as someone they are in danger of disappointing but as an ally.

4. 'I Appreciate...' or 'I Admire...'

All of this doesn't mean I never share my positive feelings with my students. Now, more than ever, I regularly and specifically note positive actions: "I noticed that every student participated at least once in class discussion." When their actions make my life easier, I let them know: "I appreciate that all of you are here on time because I won't have to repeat the instructions." I tell them when I genuinely admire their qualities and talents: "I admire your perseverance in making up your work after your long absence." While "I'm proud of you" implies that my students should work to please me, "I admire" tells them them have qualities I respect.

Of course, when a class accomplishes a particularly challenging task or is exceptionally mature, kind, and resilient, I can't resist telling them I'm proud. Also, for those students who are feeling ungrounded, insecure, or unworthy, an authentic "I'm proud of you" might be just what they need the most. In those cases, the words can carry much more than our pride. They can mean that our students are seen, valued, and supported.

I believe our praise should not position the teacher at the center-as bestower of approval or disapproval. Instead, our feedback should be used as a tool to cultivate in our students a healthy self-awareness and self-trust.

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What to Say Instead of 'I'm Proud of You'

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Social & Emotional Learning (SEL) A few phrases middle and high school teachers can use to cultivate conversation while celebrating student achievements. In the past, when my high school students shared some good news-they'd aced the interview or made the team-I'd answer, beaming, "I'm so proud of you."

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Does Venting Your Feelings Actually Help?

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Does Venting Your Feelings Actually Help?

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Does Venting Your Feelings Actually Help?

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While letting your negative emotions out may feel good in the moment, science suggests it might make matters worse in the long run.

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How Power Corrupts Your Instinct for Cooperation

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How Power Corrupts Your Instinct for Cooperation

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Emiliana Simon-Thomas is the science director of the Greater Good Science Center, where she co-teaches The Science of Happiness, a free, eight-week online course that "explores the roots of a happy, meaningful life." She earned her Ph.D. in psychology from UC Berkeley in 2004, studying how emotional and cognitive processes interact to shape behavior and brain activity.

In the interview below, Simon-Thomas talks about how humans are a collective species that thrives on collaboration. But power and privilege, she says, can corrupt anyone - even the best, most morally guided people. The good news? There's an antidote.

A Fiat Vox podcast episode featuring this interview with Simon-Thomas was originally published on Berkeley News in 2017. This is a new version that has been rewritten and remixed.

Emiliana Simon-Thomas: I started out as a neuroscientist, and I was very interested in the relationship between emotions and what we call higher cognition. There's this kind of common cultural notion that emotions get in the way of reason and logic, and that they lead us astray. That's really Plato's claim: Emotions are the enemy of reason.

And I felt like that ethos was a disservice to emotions as an important part of the human experience. It was not doing us any good to try to stifle our emotions, to try to suppress them, chronically, in the interest of being smart or logical.
Anne Brice: Now, as the science director of the Greater Good Science Center at Berkeley, her work focuses on the science that connects health and happiness to social affiliation, caregiving, and collaborative relationships. Humans are a super-collective species, she says. That's how we succeed.
EST: I mean, if you think about ants, we're more like ants than we are like cats or mountain lions, who really have a more solitary, competitive existence. We succeed through our cooperative endeavors. We live in really rich, dynamic, complex communities. We only survive our early life through a deep and profound kind of vulnerability-and-caretaking relationship. We don't come out ready to go.

Giving of your own resources, your own reserves, is tied to activation of pleasure circuits in the brain. Reward circuits are always talked about in the context of cocaine addiction or, you know, accumulation of pleasure in material possessions when, in fact, they aren't unique to those self-interested opportunities. They're just as wired to experiences that come with being generous and supporting others.
AB: There was a 2012 study by psychologists at the University of British Columbia, says Simon-Thomas, where researchers gave toddlers under the age of two treats, like goldfish crackers. An experimenter had a puppet and befriended the toddlers. Then, the toddlers were asked to give the puppet one of their goldfish crackers. The experimenters also gave them a treat to share with the puppet.
EST: The experimenters are videotaping the kids and looking at their smiles, and the most robust smiles happen when they actually take a goldfish out of their own cup and share it. So, again, there's something fundamental early about how rewarding it is for us to foster an affiliative connection with someone else through generosity.
AB: So, we depend on our instinct to cooperate and share with each other for survival. What happens when someone is highly privileged or suddenly gains more power in society somehow?
EST: Social hierarchy is really an interesting moderator of our empathic, nurturing, compassionate tendencies. In terms of power, in terms of status, there's definitely a tendency, when people who are privileged, their fate doesn't rely on the actions of other people as much as it does when people are reliant on others because they don't have all of their needs met, or they can't control every aspect of their access to resources.

If you're interacting with other people in dynamics where you're asking for help, or you're borrowing stuff or you're lending stuff, you just have a different outlook than if you really don't ever have to seek any assistance from anyone else. That's one argument about where this kind of decrement in prosociality originates-in people who are in positions of high power.
AB: But, she says, there's another theory-that everyone, even the highly privileged, prefer fairness and justice. And they have to figure out how to explain or justify their higher social status.
EST: It's not intrinsically fair for certain people to have the lion's share of resources and for other people, who also work very hard, to have very little access and few resources. Even people in positions of privilege have that basic impulse to prefer justice and fairness.

And so, faced in that position, I'm the one who has everything. I've got it all. Well, that doesn't feel right. That's not fair. There's a tendency to kind of re-explain the justification for my privilege: "I've worked harder than other people. I deserve what I have. And it's because of something about who I am that is unique compared to other people who don't have anything." That explanation, that narrative, is a form of distancing: "The other is so different from me that I don't really have to empathize with them or concern myself with anything about their welfare or well-being."

Even the best, most morally guided, virtuous humans are vulnerable to these sorts of forces when they find themselves in those positions of power. And I was going to say, the Berkeley Social Interaction Laboratory study that Dacher Keltner ran-it was basically a Monopoly game. And they set it up so one person just had a lot more money and property than the other person. Then afterward, they put a plate of cookies on the table and there was an odd number and just, invariably, the person with the power in the game ate the odd cookie.

Not only did they eat it, but they got crumbs and they were chewing with their mouths open. Not only were they willing to cheat, they were willing to defy cultural norms of politeness. And these were people like you and I. Put in that position, that is the impulse-to explain away the inequality and suddenly not concern yourself with the other because you don't think you're ever going to need them.

It's really interesting, and there's definitely ample evidence that inequality is something that poses a substantial problem to well-being among societies and nations. Nations where inequality is really high tend to perform worse on wide surveys of other metrics of well-being: health care, education, infant mortality. All those things get a little bit worse when a nation or society is set up in a way where there are huge chasms between the haves and the have-nots.
AB: But, she says, there are ways for people who have more privilege to fight the tendency to distance themselves from other people with less power in society.
EST: Power corrupts-if you're corruptible, right? But if you're aware that, "If I get this power, I am corruptible, and what can I do to manifest an antidote to that tendency?" I think to the extent that they can maintain their sense of common humanity, that's really, really important. If they can resist the temptation to think of themselves in an exceptionalist manner and instead really focus on the ways that other people's efforts and actions and presence are essential to the privilege that they've got: "I would not be the person I am without all of these other people who I work with who are making it possible."

So, a lot of times, gratitude can be a really powerful exercise-a very kind of deliberate, conscientious kind of gratitude toward people, where you acknowledge what they did, you explain why it helped you, and acknowledge the effort that they put into it.

And again, that kind of regular, routine exercise can just maintain that awareness that you're not exceptional because of some special thing about you, and you're not privileged to have more access to dignity or respect because of that. Dignity and respect are everyone's entitlement and to not fall prey to the risks of power. Remembering that is important.
This article was originally published on Berkeley News. Read the original article.
Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?

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How Power Corrupts Your Instinct for Cooperation

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Emiliana Simon-Thomas is the science director of the Greater Good Science Center, where she co-teaches The Science of Happiness, a free, eight-week online course that "explores the roots of a happy, meaningful life." She earned her Ph.D. in psychology from UC Berkeley in 2004, studying how emotional and cognitive processes interact to shape behavior and brain activity.

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With structured discussions, educators can share wisdom gained in a turbulent year-and be better prepared for the coming one.

Allison Shelley for the Alliance for Excellent Education

No doubt we will appreciate this summer in ways we never needed to in years past. Before packing for vacation, however, it is crucial for teachers to unpack all they have learned while navigating online, in-person, and hybrid teaching environments for over a year.

If anything, the pandemic has been an opportunity for rapid and dramatic professional growth. Unfortunately, much of it has occurred in isolation. Without a method to share and synthesize this learning, districts risk losing this knowledge, just as students sometimes do during summer slides. That's why school leaders must create conditions for teachers to capture, process, and reflect on their collective learning experiences.

I coordinate professional development in my district, and my team has experimented with what we call K-12 conversations: a systemic framework that builds and supports a learning community and bolsters efficacy. K-12 conversations create the conditions for all levels of a district to have fruitful small-group discussions about assessment, instructional practices, and social and emotional wellness-and that's been particularly helpful given the events of the past year.

Now Is the Time

A recent Edutopia post stressed the importance of "rebuild[ing] the frayed social fabric of our learning communities." The research is clear: the best way for teachers to regain their sense of community is to provide opportunities to connect, problem-solve, and collaborate. That's exactly where K-12 conversations come in.

This year especially, it is imperative to hold K-12 conversations before teachers leave for summer. That way, come August, they will be armed with the wisdom that comes from weeks of marinating in district-wide shared knowledge. If we wait until September, school leaders risk teachers returning to school feeling the way they started this past year: anxious, overwhelmed, and disconnected.

How to Create K-12 Conversations

A successful K-12 conversation takes planning and good upfront organization. To make the most of teachers' time together, take these steps.

Get organized: Detailed planning will set the stage.

Using a master spreadsheet, code teachers by level: elementary (or primary and intermediate), middle, high.

Find the person in your district who has expertise with spreadsheets so that at the press of a button, cells/teachers are placed in heterogeneous groups of six to eight.

Have leaders or instructional coaches check the groups to make sure there is an even distribution of levels, schools, and content areas.

Two weeks prior to the conversations, give teachers time to individually reflect. This year especially, teachers need tools to organize and examine their thinking. (If you need reflection ideas, Cult of Pedagogy's Gut-Level Reflection Questions is a good resource.)

Assign a leader for each group (also at least two weeks prior). The group leader will be responsible for taking attendance, reviewing norms with participants (e.g., "We will keep the dialogue positive"), and facilitating discussions.

Establish norms and conversation starters. Share them with participating teachers a few days prior to the conversation.

In a planning screen cast or meeting, support your group leaders by sharing suggestions about how to keep the conversations flowing, how to include everyone, and how to steer away from negativity.

If you are hosting a conversation on campus, assign each group to a classroom indicated on the spreadsheet. If possible, prepare the room by arranging desks in a circle, with a thank-you note for the table leader.

If you are hosting a conversation online, create links for the meetings and paste them into the spreadsheet.

Manage the conversation: Start conversations with a waterfall introduction: In the chat, everyone types their grade level/subject/school/years teaching/something fun but waits for a signal from the group leader to press send.

Limit discussion to 45 minutes to an hour, especially for your first conversation. After introductions, the group leader should review the norms and conversation starters one more time. Having this information on a screen may help discussions stay focused. Encourage teachers to use the information from their reflections as talking points, and conclude the discussion by having teachers share one takeaway with their group. Finally, allow time for teachers to add their reflections and record big ideas in a feedback form or personalized professional development plan.

Conversation follow-up: Leaders can analyze the data from teacher takeaways and determine common themes in individual schools, grade levels, departments, and the district as a whole. In our district, staff development summarized the big ideas from the conversations to drive future professional development. The data was shared with administrators and teachers alike.

Looking Back-and Ahead

According to John Hattie's influences on student achievement, classroom discussion doubles the rate of learning for students. The same is surely true for professionals. I was optimistically anxious the day we held our first K-12 conversation-it seemed like a powerful and authentic way for colleagues to gain a better and broader understanding of the whole child, but my team and I were unsure how teachers would respond.

Fortunately, once teachers started talking, magic happened, and feedback was phenomenal. Teachers rated this activity a 4.4 out of 5 stars and supplemented ratings with their personal takeaways. One teacher wrote, "Having time to share, listen, celebrate, be vulnerable with one another was empowering for all of us!" Another stated, "I think it would be great if you could bring us together with the same group of people from time to time. We were able to build a connection with the group of teachers. It would be nice to continue it."

As we wind down this school year, teachers don't need formal professional development sessions, ed tech tutorials, or death-by-Google Slide/PowerPoint faculty meetings. Instead, school leaders and instructional coaches must provide teachers the time and space to learn from one another and grow together. In truth, the best professional development that teachers have right now is found in each other.

And that starts with a conversation.

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With structured discussions, educators can share wisdom gained in a turbulent year-and be better prepared for the coming one. Allison Shelley for the Alliance for Excellent Education No doubt we will appreciate this summer in ways we never needed to in years past.

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Listen to this post as a podcast:

Sometimes I will be going about my normal day and I'll notice a negative haze has descended on me - some vague feeling of apprehension, guilt, or maybe self-pity - but I won't have a clue where it came from. If I ignore this feeling, it just gets worse. But if I stop and try to trace it back to where it came from, I can usually pinpoint something: An off-the-cuff comment that sparked jealousy. A news preview that spun me into a worry spiral. The facial expression of an acquaintance that planted a seed of insecurity. Once I nail down the source of a bad feeling, I can think it through and make a plan to deal with it.

This practice can be applied to our teaching as well. The end of a school year is a natural time to reflect, and while it's easy to find good questions for reviewing accomplishments and setbacks, I believe that to learn as much as possible from a reflection on your teaching, you have to let your gut talk, too.

Here are five questions that can help you listen to your body's emotional responses and uncover problem areas in your teaching. Use when the year is done, before the start of a new semester, or any time it feels like things aren't going well, but you just can't figure out why. They will work best if you process them at a quiet time, when you can do each one slowly. If that's not possible, just looking over the questions should sharpen your awareness of how your body responds to the different facets of your work.

[Download these questions in a free worksheet from my store at Teachers Pay Teachers]
1. Look around your classroom (or picture it in your mind). What parts of the room make you feel tense, anxious, or exhausted? What parts make you feel calm, happy, or proud?
Sometimes the reasons for these feelings will be clear - your back table is always cluttered, the traffic patterns in one part of the room were awful, a particular shelf contains materials that never got used, for an activity that never ended up happening. In other cases, the reasons may be deeper: You were hanging that poster right before you gave your class the worst yelling you've ever unleashed. Two kids got into a fight right by the pencil sharpener. The classroom phone reminds you of a terrible call you received.

After considering all parts of your room, pick 2 to 3 hot spots that need the most attention. These should be your priorities for change.
2. Open up your plan book (or spreadsheet, or wherever you keep your lesson plans from the year) and just start browsing, paying attention to how you're feeling as your eyes meet certain events. What days and weeks give you a lift when you see them, a feeling of pride or satisfaction? Which ones make you feel disappointed, irritated or embarrassed?
You may not know exactly what made certain lessons great and others not so great, but your gut-level reaction will tell you there's something to investigate. Did you take a risk that paid off in some exhilarating learning gains? Did you try something new that completely flopped? Do you see a lot of the same thing, over and over again? Were there times when your plans fell apart because you said yes when you should have said no?

Try to find common themes or patterns. What changes do you need to make so you feel less stressed about your workload, and more satisfied about how you design your students' learning experiences?
3. Take a look at your student roster. What do you feel when you see each name? Which names make you feel relaxed, satisfied and proud, which ones make your chest tighten with regret, and which ones make your stomach tense?
Look for patterns here, too. If several students give you the same bad feeling, try to find the common thread between them. Is there a hole in your classroom management style? Are there quiet, well-behaved students you haven't given much attention to? Do you need to learn more about working effectively with minority students? Do you lack confidence when working with students with autism?
4. Mentally travel from classroom to classroom, picturing each teacher in the building. What are your feelings as you approach each one? Which coworkers give you a generally positive feeling, which ones are neutral, and which ones make you feel nervous, angry, or annoyed?
Once you have identified some themes in the relationships you have with your students, choose 2 to 3 areas where you need to grow. And next year, consider collecting student feedback in a systematic way.

Your relationships with your colleagues have a huge impact on how you feel about coming to work every day. Are there Marigolds and Walnut Trees in your midst that you've never identified? Are there some strong, positive teachers in the building whom you feel intimidated by, but should probably get to know better? Is it time to fix a relationship that has been damaged?
5. Look at the following professional practice "buzzwords." As you read each one, do you have positive, negative, or mixed feelings? What other words have you heard a lot this year that give you a strong feeling one way or the other? technology differentiation data research-based strategies Common Core higher-level thinking flipped learning standards-based student choice PLC
After going through the faculty and staff, choose a few people with whom you need to change your relationship, whether by repairing it, limiting it, or nurturing it.

If any of these words give you negative or hard-to-name emotions, chances are you're feeling insecure about these topics. The struggle may be caused by policies you have nothing to do with, or they may indicate an area where you need to grow. If it's the latter, this is an opportunity to take one weakness and face it head-on - make it a priority to develop your skills in that area.

Identifying Priorities and Creating an Action Plan

After working through each question, take what you learned and turn it into a plan of action. For each of the five areas (classroom, planning, students, co-workers, professional practice) identify one or two priorities for change. They may be positives into which you want to put more energy, negatives you want to correct, or ambiguities that need more investigation. Then, jot down a concrete plan to address each priority, including deadlines when possible. Here's a sample completed action plan, using the worksheet that's available for download:

The Final Step: Share with a Friend

The positive effects of doing this kind of reflection will be maximized if you and a few other teachers do the exercise, then share your results. We work too often in isolation, but we all have the same struggles. Opening up to other teachers is one of the best ways to grow as a teacher and love what you do.

Download a free copy of these questions from my store on Teachers Pay Teachers.

Like what you've seen so far?
If you found this article useful, I'd love to have you come back for more.Join my mailing list and get weekly tips, tools, and inspiration - in quick, bite-sized packages - all geared toward making your teaching more effective and joyful. You'll get access to my members-only library of free downloads, including my e-booklet, 20 Ways to Cut Your Grading Time in Half. I look forward to getting to know you better!

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It's easy to find good questions for reviewing accomplishments and setbacks, but to learn as much as possible from a reflection on your teaching, you have to let your gut talk, too.

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A daily read-aloud can help build community and show reluctant readers how to approach a text.

Tetra Images, LLC / Alamy Stock Photo

If you're like most teachers, you know that at the beginning of the year you're going to hear, "I hate reading, and there's nothing you can do to change my mind!" Each year, these discouraging words are a professional challenge. However, you can change the hearts of disenfranchised readers-one book at a time.

Reading proficiency is a national crisis that our profession continuously tries to address, yet educational leaders are often divided on the best approach to solving this problem. Some elementary teachers believe there should be more focus on phonics instruction, while others advocate teaching comprehension strategies. Some advocate for a balanced-literacy approach.

One approach that is often overlooked due to the inordinate amount of testing that students are subjected to is the power of the read-aloud. Some educators feel they simply don't have the class time to devote to this activity, while others are fearful of the backlash they would receive if their administrators caught them "wasting" time on this activity. However, reading aloud to students each day is not only a productive investment; it also has powerful benefits for learners of all ages.

Throughout my 25 years in education, the read-aloud was my way of getting the most stubborn students to fall in love with reading. I called it Stinky Feet Time because I allowed my fourth and fifth graders the chance to take off their shoes, sprawl out on the floor, and listen to stories come alive, and this part of our reading class was a sacred time. Devoting just five to seven minutes a day to Stinky Feet Time, I marveled at how easy it was to motivate the most reluctant of readers to embrace literacy again. All teachers should consider adding a read-aloud to their daily agendas, as there are so many benefits to reading to students of all ages.

Why Stinky Feet Time Works

Reading aloud daily demonstrates a commitment to literacy in an authentic and nonthreatening way. When students see teachers sharing literacy in this way, it allows them to simply enjoy a good book. Too often, children view reading as an arduous task because teachers have coupled reading with comprehension questions at the end of each chapter.

Modeling reading strategies is a great way for educators to demonstrate what good readers do when they don't know a word, understand a plot twist, or agree with a character in the story (even if they really do).

Read-alouds promote student choice and leadership. Before starting a new novel, students can nominate books that interest them. This allows teachers to ensure that students are exposed to books that have characters that look like them, or it can challenge students to consider the perspectives of others who are different.
More benefits for students:
Over the past year, the global pandemic has made students and teachers feel more isolated and alone. Taking a few minutes a day to connect as a community during Stinky Feet Time not only will be beneficial for students academically but also will allow teachers to select literature in which the characters face and overcome adversity and obstacles. And our students need this message now more than ever.

Only one in three students is proficient in reading; thus, reading aloud daily gives students the opportunity to hear an adult model reading skills. This increases the likelihood that these skills will be transferred to students.

Scholastic's 2019 "Kids & Family Reading Report" found that 83 percent of students ages 6-17 surveyed said that being read to was something they either loved or liked a lot. If the majority of students report the read-aloud as an enjoyable experience, then teachers should capitalize on this!

How to Implement Stinky Feet Time

Choose a novel that will connect with your students. The most efficient way to do this is by surveying your class and inquiring about the types of stories they enjoy. Students appreciate teachers who genuinely seek out their opinions because educators don't have many opportunities to bring literary autonomy into the classroom.

Be regimented in ensuring that Stinky Feet Time happens every day. In order for your students to reap all the benefits that read-alouds have to offer, they must occur daily. All too often, it's easier to omit this portion of the academic agenda, especially if your administration doesn't embrace this philosophy of learning. However, I discovered that once I made a commitment to read to my students daily, it quickly became the thing we all looked forward to in each class.

Embrace your inner performance artist when you read! Children of all ages love to be entertained, and watching a teacher bring a story to life is magical. When teachers react to the plot and the characters, they're modeling what good readers do when they truly interact with a book. Consider giving your students time to discuss the themes, plot developments, and character motivations that arise as you progress through the book.

Cliffhangers can create a momentum of motivation, so be sure to end your Stinky Feet Time at a part of the book that will leave all of your students begging for more. At the end of a novel, celebrate your accomplishment by having a book club event. Bring in blankets, pillows, and treats. Some of my favorite memories in education happened as I listened to students reflect on how the book impacted them.

Be ready to unveil the next Stinky Feet Time book as soon as you finish the one you're reading. Consider covering it in wrapping paper, so it feels like students are unwrapping a gift as you reveal the next book. Presentation matters, so be sure to make this part of your routine big!

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Using Read-Alouds to Improve Older Elementary Students' Literacy Skills

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A daily read-aloud can help build community and show reluctant readers how to approach a text. Tetra Images, LLC / Alamy Stock Photo If you're like most teachers, you know that at the beginning of the year you're going to hear, "I hate reading, and there's nothing you can do to change my mind!"

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Ancient Wisdom for Teaching in Challenging Times

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Ancient Wisdom for Teaching in Challenging Times

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Confession: I haven't read any books about instructional practice this year because my brain cannot learn one more thing. I've been back in the classroom since August, and each period I teach a full class of students face-to-face as well as a handful online. To rejuvenate, I spend my reading time with books that feed my soul and that are most relevant to the lessons in patience, kindness, and understanding that have framed this past year.

I've been diving back into some old favorites that remind me how to be a good human; number one on my list is The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. In this book, Ruiz distills ancient Toltec wisdom into lessons readers can apply to their lives to limit suffering and increase joy. The message is timeless, but it feels as if it had been written for this year when our patience with ourselves and each other is wearing thin. As I've read it in the context of the pandemic and reacquainted myself with each of the four agreements below, they've shifted how I relate to other people in my school and made me more positive.

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Words are powerful; they can build up or they can destroy. I work with students who, for the most part, have struggled in school all their lives. They are already down on themselves and don't need me to reinforce the cycle of negative thinking in which they often become stuck.

So instead of reprimanding them when they forget to turn in work or score poorly on an assessment (which seems to happen more often this year), I speak words of affirmation. I remind my students that they are more than their GPA or their latest test score and that they have what it takes to succeed. I celebrate successes outside the classroom with them, like getting their first job or passing their driving test. If you want to foster hope and healthy self-beliefs in your students too, UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center offers these suggestions.

Don't Take Anything Personally

Occasional conflict is inevitable, a by-product of being human. But I always have a choice about the degree to which I am willing to participate in conflict. If a student snaps at me, I can react or I can pause and remember that their behavior reflects who they are-or, more accurately, the challenges they're enduring, of which I might be unaware. Nothing that others say or do is about me. It's a liberating idea.

I strive to lead with compassion and acceptance in my classroom, two keys to cultivating positive relationships with students. But when kids get angry, which happens sometimes despite my best efforts, I try not to get down on myself or take offense. Rebecca Alber, an instructor at UCLA's Graduate School of Education and Information Studies, has some helpful suggestions for how to defuse difficult situations rather than taking them personally.

Don't Make Assumptions

Assumptions can lead to misunderstanding because they are not always based on truth. As Ruiz writes, "We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do." Assumptions aren't just short-sighted-they can be dangerous.

I remind myself that I cannot make assumptions about my students' lives outside my classroom. I cannot assume that they share my passion for my subject, that they have the same kind of support at home that I did, or even that they got enough food or sleep last night. Once I release all assumptions about my students, something magical happens: I make space to hear each student's story and truly understand their individual strengths, hopes, and challenges. There's only one safe assumption I can make this year-that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. If they knew better or had more support, perhaps they would do better. Kindness and grace, for ourselves, our students, and their families, goes a long way.

Always Do Your Best

According to Ruiz, the quality of your best will change depending on your life circumstances. While it's true that this year is especially tough as we navigate teaching in a pandemic, let's be honest: Conditions have never been easy for teachers. We routinely spend weekends grading and creating lessons, and even in a normal year our work cannot physically be done in 40 hours a week. Yet we are our own worst critics, trying to do all of the things and please all people-and beating ourselves up when we fail to do so.

This year I'm being more gentle with myself. Instead of attempting to be a rock star in every respect, I'm focusing on just two: excellent planning, so that my students' time in class is engaging and productive, and building relationships. If there's one thing the challenges and loss of this pandemic have taught me, it's that relationships are all that really matter-not only relationships with my students but relationships with family and friends. I make time for the people I love, even if it means not getting everything done every day. And when I lay my head down at night, I feel a sense of peace, knowing I'm doing my best.

For today, that is enough. I am enough.

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Ancient Wisdom for Teaching in Challenging Times

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Confession: I haven't read any books about instructional practice this year because my brain cannot learn one more thing. I've been back in the classroom since August, and each period I teach a full class of students face-to-face as well as a handful online.

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Grading systems should be clear and motivating to students, and points-based grading often fails on both counts. A few tips to keep students focused on learning.

A high school principal recently lamented to me that many of his students' grades were cratering during distance learning. Much of the problem, he observed, was coming from classes whose grades were calculated using points: Work is assigned, work is not received, and the work gets a zero in the grade book. An algorithm takes over. Average these. Weight that. Out spits the failing grade.

Keeping our students engaged when we can't serve them in person has, understandably, proven a challenge. For over a year now, teachers all over the country have been Zooming real hard and often feeling disappointed by what they've been getting back from students in return. But according to many school leaders I've heard from, that problem has been compounded by points-based grading systems.

Now is the time to ask straightforward questions about what we've learned in this extraordinary year: What worked? What didn't? What was resilient? What was brittle?

In general, things that worked during the pandemic are things we should do more of. Things that broke down or exacerbated inequities deserve serious rethinking. Assessment and grading practices offer a rich vein for this kind of analysis.

What's Wrong With Points?

Let's step back: It's not the points themselves that are the problem. Points are a perfectly valid way to add up the number of right and wrong answers in certain kinds of assessments-some questions do have right and wrong answers.

The problem is the stunted conception of learning that creeps in when points are pervasive: School is a game. Everything counts. No failure allowed while you practice. The ultimate goal is not learning or improvement-it's to accumulate points.

"A points-based system," one teacher might say, "is easy for everyone to understand." Sure, but what, exactly, is being understood? Ask a student, "How are you doing in this course?" A typical answer: "I'm getting a 74."

Where I see a course organized around points, I tend to find a learning environment in which the teacher and the students do not share clear answers to simple questions of purpose: What are our learning goals? What are the skills we are focused on improving? What are the ways a student can demonstrate progress?

The argument here is not to eliminate the use of points altogether but to put them in their proper place. Here are some ideas for doing that.

Don't Add Them Up

In many classrooms across all subjects, things that are small and routine-quizzes, homework-tend to be scored with points. This is convenient and defensible. When well-conceived, learning routines communicate the value of practice, and it's important to have data on the quality and quantity of our students' practice.

But all too commonly, that data gets aggregated into some kind of grade for "effort" or "homework completion." And then that effort grade gets weighted into the final course grade. What was meant to be formative has now become summative. For many learners, this sums up their entire, painful relationship with school.

Resist the temptation to aggregate points-across multiple performances, across time. As a teacher, when I kept my students' practice data discrete (or ignored the aggregations that grading software would do without my asking it to), I was better able to preserve an analytic lens when surveying evidence of student learning. My conversations with students were more nuanced. I found it easier to awaken them, rather than coerce them, into the understanding that practice and performance are strongly correlated.

Look for Ways to Apply the Portfolio Concept

The essence of a portfolio is simple: It's a demonstration of skill through the curation of evidence. That's why portfolios have proven to be such a flexible and effective form of assessment. They can wrap themselves around any kind of evidence (including items that have already been point-scored), and they enroll the learner in the curation of that evidence.

Look for ways to use or expand the portfolio concept in your classes. Although borrowed from the visual arts, the portfolio crosses easily into other disciplines, including math and science. It works on all scales, from a small unit to an entire course. Portfolios tend to move assessment in healthy directions: opening more paths to success, inviting more student engagement, focusing more on the work, and creating more opportunities for revision and redemption.

Use a Rubric for the Course Grade

It's not a coincidence that letter grades, GPAs, and most rubrics operate on roughly the same 4-point scale. In describing those levels, it's hard to beat this quick guide, as explained by one wise teacher I know: An A means "you nailed it." A B means "you got it." A C means "you almost got it." And a D or F tells us that "something isn't working here."

What should be simple can be mystified by points systems that are byzantine in their complexity, not to mention demoralizing in their impact on struggling students. In contrast, a one-page, 4-point rubric is perfectly suited to the task of determining a student's course grade in a way that is both accurate and actionable. My students' relationship to their grades changed dramatically when they used a rubric to self-assess. Their conclusions almost always matched my own. When they didn't, important conversations ensued, and sometimes I would have to rethink my judgment.

Ideally, students see a grade not as something that a teacher gives or that a formula spits out, or even as something that is "earned." Rather, it is a description of the student's learning, as demonstrated through evidence.

Keep Asking Students What Might Work Better

To be clear, useful, and motivating, an effective grading system needs constant input from its end users. And it pays particular attention to the input from students for whom things are not working well. True, plenty of students will say that a points-based system works fine: They've got it figured out, so why change? But those aren't the students to be designing for-and improving things for students who have been struggling usually improves things for everyone.

We must examine the ways the pandemic caught us off-guard. Many of our grading systems were geared for seat-time. The systems broke down when the seats were empty. Now that we know better, we must retool.

So take a hard look at the use of points in your grading practice. Try some techniques for containing or even eliminating them. If we come out of this pandemic adding up fewer points, we will have advanced toward an educational system where assessment is for learning, not for sorting.

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Grading systems should be clear and motivating to students, and points-based grading often fails on both counts. A few tips to keep students focused on learning. A high school principal recently lamented to me that many of his students' grades were cratering during distance learning.

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Bolstering Executive Function in Middle and High School Students

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Bolstering Executive Function in Middle and High School Students

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Edutopia

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The teenage years, when students start to juggle priorities and manage workloads from multiple teachers, are critical for the development of executive function-a set of skills that help us organize, prioritize, focus, and exercise self-control in order to be productive and accomplish tasks. These skills have been shown to be strong indicators of success in school and in life.

Over the years, an extensive body of research has surfaced actionable ways to develop these skills; listed below are links to the studies cited in the video.

Harvard's Center on the Developing Child's work on how executive function builds skills for life and learning (2012)

Zelazo, Blair, and Willoughby's study on executive function's implications for education (2017)

Borman, Rozek, Pyne, and Hanselman's study on the benefits of reappraising academic and social adversity (2019)

Rozek, Ramirez, Fine, and Beilock's study on students' emotional regulation (2019)

Thomaes, Tjaarda, Brummelman, and Sedikides's study on how effort self-talk benefits math performance (2019)

Eskreis-Winkler, Milkman, Gromet, and Duckworth's study on how giving advice improves academic outcomes for the adviser (2019)

Hulleman and Harackiewicz's study on connecting science course materials to students' lives (2009)

Yeager et al.'s study on how purpose for learning fosters academic self-regulation (2014)

To learn more about these strategies and the research behind them, see "8 Ways to Bolster Executive Function in Teens and Tweens."

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Bolstering Executive Function in Middle and High School Students

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The teenage years, when students start to juggle priorities and manage workloads from multiple teachers, are critical for the development of executive function-a set of skills that help us organize, prioritize, focus, and exercise self-control in order to be productive and accomplish tasks.

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Why Pronouncing Names Correctly Is More Than Common Courtesy

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Why Pronouncing Names Correctly Is More Than Common Courtesy

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from Life Kit (Podcast)

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subscribe to Life Kit podcast

subscribe to Life Kit podcast

Ruchika Tulshyan says she has had her name mispronounced her whole life. And, for most of that time, she didn't correct people. Sometimes she even made restaurant reservations under the name Rachel to avoid the pain and shame. But in the past few years, she has begun speaking up - and even correcting friends who have been mispronouncing her name for years.

If you're not sure how to pronounce someone's name, the best solution is to simply ask, Tulshyan wrote in Harvard Business Review last year. She recently spoke with Life Kit host Noor Wazwaz about her ideas - for correcting your own mistakes and for correcting others. If someone you know has been mispronouncing your name for years, she says, it's not too late to bring it up.

Listen to Life Kit's interview with Tulshyan by pressing play on the audio above or here.

Pronouncing names correctly is "one of those ways that you can really practice anti-racism and practice allyship in the moment," says Tulshyan, the founder of Candour, an inclusion strategy firm. It's "one of those very subtle but extremely important ways to get engaged and really stand up ... for communities that are nonwhite and largely have faced marginalization."
Have you had your name mispronounced? Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us a voice memo at The podcast and digital versions of this episode were produced by We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.Clare Lombardo. Josh Newell provided engineering support. LifeKit@npr.org. A producer may be in touch with you.

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Why Pronouncing Names Correctly Is More Than Common Courtesy : Life Kit

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Our names are an extension of who we are. And if your name is mispronounced all the time, you know how painful that can be. In this episode, we're talking about why getting names right is so important - and how to correct others and rectify your own mistakes.

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13 Effective Study Strategies to Help Students Learn

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13 Effective Study Strategies to Help Students Learn

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13 Effective Study Strategies to Help Students Learn - MindShift

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Daniel Willingham outlines effective study strategies to help students learn in person and via remote learning.

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Why Setting Boundaries is Helpful for Teachers and Their Students

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Why Setting Boundaries is Helpful for Teachers and Their Students

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This can be a hard thing to hold on to when we are not only romanticized when we act as a martyr but are also encouraged and expected to do so. Many teachers report that they are gaslighted by everyone from their administrators to their colleagues when they raise the question of addressing their own needs. They are repeatedly told how important they are and how they should prioritize their well-being, and then asked to do the exact opposite. From being told they can't leave a professional development session to go to the bathroom to being expected to use their own money to create classroom libraries to being reminded to only take thirty minutes for lunch during online pandemic learning, these "little" things can collectively destabilize a teacher to the point of burnout. Each of these things feel normal, somewhat doable, sometimes inspirational . . . in theory. Sometimes they come with bragging rights, "I haven't peed since I left my house this morning!" or "I can't remember if I even ate today" or "My family conferences went so long the custodial staff kicked us out." And administrators or peers impressed with our dedication or commiserating in good-natured ways about the lack of time for ourselves can make it hard to see just how unhealthy these practices become when they become an expected and accepted part of the way teachers work.

Teachers are told to take care of themselves, but then promptly told why they can't.

"The students need to see your face," a principal told one teacher who was considering taking a day off for a doctor's appointment. "And when you aren't around, those kids don't learn. When you get back it's such a mess that you'll make yourself sicker just trying to catch them all up." More often than not educators hear that by prioritizing their own needs they are somehow harming children or doing something wrong. Many of us are already prone to putting others first, so it does not take much gaslighting to convince us that putting our own needs off for as long as possible somehow makes us better teachers.

The Teacher Martyr Makes Mistakes, Avoids Risk, and Observes Less

I know this, preach this, and yet am also terrible at following my own admonishments. You may know that I have a disability. It's a congenital one whose only long-term solution is two major surgeries that the doctors want to put off for as long as possible. It's mostly manageable if I take care of myself. I need to balance between regular exercise and rest, stretches and physical therapy to stay mobile. I'll never be a sprinter, but if I take decent care of myself, I can still be fit enough to teach. My doctors and physical therapists have always been crystal clear-if I want to stay in education and be as active as I am, I need to prioritize my health.

And yet, it is so easy to fall into the habit of doing everything else that seems more important than taking care of ourselves. Day after day on social media and in the news, we hear of teachers martyring themselves for the good of their students and their profession. Those are the teachers whose social media posts we share and inspire us. So, by ignoring my own needs and focusing solely on my students, I found myself crawling out of a New York subway train, across a Brooklyn platform, and dragging myself to a bench. It was a busy work week. There was a family night and grading and an end-of-unit celebration. I was staying at school every night until at least 7:00, then getting home and not eating dinner until nearly 9:00, doing some planning and grading before I'd finally collapse in a heap only to repeat the same self-punishing routine the next day. I did this day after day for over a week. No time for healthy eating, resting, stretching, or gentle exercise. Or so I thought. It shouldn't have come as a shock when I stood up to leave the subway car at my stop that my leg suddenly protested with agonizing pain and an inability to hold my weight. I had no choice but to crawl off. Some kind New Yorkers who saw me crawling helped me find a bench and stayed with me until the school secretary could come pick me up. I don't know how or when I got to the emergency room, but I do remember my principal standing over me, after he was assured I would be OK, his finger pointed in my face, saying, "You can't do this. It's not good for you. And it's not helping anyone."

You probably know all this. You have probably either lectured someone else or been lectured on how important it is to take care of yourself. Maybe you even have your own version of my subway crawling story. Perhaps for you it was pneumonia, bronchitis, or dizzy spells so bad you were hospitalized. You promised yourself you would never let it get that bad again because you saw how bad it was for everyone. But you might not have been considering how not prioritizing self-care affects the topic we've been considering throughout this book: mistakes.

When we are depleted, we are so much more likely to make mistakes we regret. These mistakes might just be the sloppy ones like leaving the cap off our beloved whiteboard purple marker or forgetting our keys in the teacher's lounge. But they can also be very high-stakes mistakes-ones that can dramatically affect children's lives. We might not have the capacity to write all of the letters of recommendations our students request. We might not carefully read the accommodations on a student's individualized education program and miss key provisions. As you sit there reading this paragraph, you might be thinking about mistakes you have made recently, or maybe ones you made a long time ago that still haunt you. Before you begin to flagellate yourself for that error that just bubbled up again, is it possible that when you made that mistake, you hadn't been your best self in terms of selfcare? That you might have been tired, hungry, stressed, overwhelmed, or all of the above before you made that regrettable error?

When I look back at the mistakes I made in my own classroom or with teachers in theirs, I have to admit most of them wouldn't have happened if I had taken care of my physical, mental, and emotional state a bit more. Use the chart in Figure 3-1 to help think about your own examples.

I know that I can never hear too much about how the best defense against mistakes is a good offense. If I want to be the best educator (parent, friend, spouse, citizen) I can be, I need to take care of myself first. All other tacks and strategies will be useless without those things. I know you know this. And, if you spend any time on social media at all, you have no doubt seen the countless memes and articles extolling you to focus on self-care. If you are at all like me, you swing from rolling your eyes at people's self- centeredness to working so hard you hit a point if you don't do something (bubble bath, sip of tea, just one night of eight hours of sleep) you feel you will implode. That said, we are human and our souls and bodies need to be fed. We need time to laugh with loved ones, fill our minds with rich ideas and art, yes, and even time to rest and recuperate. Even lying on the couch losing ourselves in a great binge-watch can be soul-feeding self-care. Pleasure is more than a treat. As the legendary performance artist Penny Arcade says, "Pleasure is a radical value" (2016). It is a value that goes a long way toward helping us to lead meaningful and joyful lives. If we do not do the work of prioritizing our own mental and physical health outside the classroom, there might be a time where we start to look for affirmation, connectedness, and care from the students in our own classrooms. As Jaleel Howard, Tanya Milner-McCall, and Tyrone Howard (2020) wrote in their book No More Teaching Without Positive Relationships (full disclosure, I coedited this book with Nell Duke), "Teachers need to share themselves with students but have their emotional needs met elsewhere." We should not expect our kids to make us feel good about ourselves. If educators are spending all day with students and then every waking moment preparing to work with them again, there is no way we can prioritize our other adult relationships. And that need for connection may unconsciously lead us to seek affirmation from our students.

Even if it's just feeling good whenever we go above and beyond. Although it might feel right or somewhat saintly to give everything we've got to our students, in the end if we do not care for ourselves outside of the classroom or are not bringing our best selves to the classroom, we might instead feel bitter and taken for granted. Or, even in some cases, we might become emotionally needy around students, seeking their approval, comfort, and affirmation, which sets up an unhealthy dynamic where kids are unknowingly trying to fulfill an adult's emotional needs and also developing an unhealthy sense of what a healthy teacher-student relationship should look like.

Although it is completely understandable to realize after the fact that the likely cause of an error was that we were not taking care of ourselves the way we should, it is less understandable and yet still very common to then not try to prevent another error by taking steps to put ourselves first. It feels strange. It feels selfish. Even our own mentors and teachers were probably models of martyrdom, and although they very likely encouraged us to take care of ourselves, they probably rarely if ever modeled it. The script everyone shows us to follow is teacher martyr.

Yet, we know in our marrow that our last regrettable mistake was very likely made because of our lack of self-care. The thing is, not prioritizing ourselves doesn't just make us vulnerable to regrettable mistakes. When we are depleted, we are also much more likely to not take the risks we need to take to make the good mistakes.

Think about it. Think about your limited energy and the level and depth of energy it takes to try something new, be creative, or take a pedagogical risk. When you do not prioritize your own health, rest, and happiness, you are less likely to have the energy to take the sorts of risks that lead to our aha moments or stretch mistakes. When you spend hours reading through summative assessments without a break, racing against the clock to get them all marked in time, you are significantly less likely to decide now is the time to try some of the latest ideas around high-quality and growth mindset-based feedback. That sort of work requires energy to take a risk as well as time to fix any trouble spots. So instead, you might do a quick online search for "great feedback for students" and click on the link that offers "100 positive phrases to use when giving student feedback." (See Figure 3-2 for other options.)

Contrary to popular belief, stretching past our comfort zones for most of us requires a calm, rested, focused self. Very few of us are tempted to push ourselves and our thinking and to challenge our most dearly held beliefs when we are feeling bad emotionally and physically. Those stretch mistakes that we encourage our kids to make require a basic foundation of self-care to be practiced.
Excerpt from Risk. Fail. Rise.: A Teacher's Guide to Learning from Mistakes by M. Colleen Cruz. Copyright © 2021 by M. Colleen Cruz. Published by Heinemann, Portsmouth, NH. Reprinted by permission of the publisher. All rights reserved.

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Why Setting Boundaries is Helpful for Teachers and Their Students - MindShift

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This can be a hard thing to hold on to when we are not only romanticized when we act as a martyr but are also encouraged and expected to do so. Many teachers report that they are gaslighted by everyone from their administrators to their colleagues when they raise the question of addressing their own needs.

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How to Calm Young Children Down in Minutes

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How to Calm Young Children Down in Minutes

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How to Support Teens' Mental Health During COVID and Beyond

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How to Support Teens' Mental Health During COVID and Beyond

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It's been more than a year since the COVID-19 pandemic changed life as we knew it. Many families across the country have been living in "survival mode." Tweens and teens continue to experience a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and fear. If left unresolved, these feelings can take a toll on health and well-being.

Parents of teens share similar struggles. According to Lauren, a mother of two teens in Woodland Hills, California, "My daughter has a hard time spending so much of her day on screens. She says having to do so makes her feel more anxiety than she already was feeling." Nancy, a mother of two teen boys in Chevy Chase, Maryland, says, "Junior year is supposed to be a key year in high school before college. But my son has shut down." And Rafaela, whose daughter attends high school in New York City, says, "My daughter is completely stressed about having to go back to school in person because she worries she's going to get coronavirus."

Sound familiar? In a survey of more than 4,600 people in Canada last spring, more than a third of families said they felt "very or extremely" anxious about family stress resulting from the pandemic.

When it comes to teens' emotional and mental health, they are experiencing a crisis, says Dr. Edith Bracho-Sanchez, a primary care pediatrician and assistant professor of pediatrics at Columbia University Irving Medical Center. Even before the pandemic, more than 16% of youth in the United States dealt with a mental health disorder, according to a 2019 study in JAMA Pediatrics.

Bracho-Sanchez, who often treats families in Latino and Black communities that have been disproportionately affected by COVID-19, says the pandemic created the perfect storm of emotional turbulence. "Families are experiencing a lot of stress. Many have lost jobs. They've fallen behind on rent. The rates of food insecurity have skyrocketed. All of these things are really hard for everyone in the family-teens included." Add to these issues virtual schooling, fear of family members getting sick or dying from COVID, feeling isolated and disconnected-it's no wonder doctors are seeing higher levels of anxiety and depression in teens.

As parents, we can't control the course of the pandemic. But we can help teens by modeling good coping skills, encouraging healthy habits, and working to understand and relate to what they are going through.

Understand what teens are going through

The first step toward supporting young people through this challenging time is for caring adults to have empathy for the teen experience. And to work to understand how their developmental stage impacts their emotional well-being.

Adolescence is a time when tweens and teens are supposed to be stretching their boundaries and testing limits. That means getting out of the house and trying new things. Figuring out their place among peers and within their communities. Making mistakes and learning how to bounce back. But during the COVID-19 pandemic, as a matter of safety, tweens and teens are limited from many growth opportunities. And that flies in the face of typical teen development.

For teens, peer relationships are a big deal. Their brains are designed to feel rewarded when they socialize, in some ways more so than adults. Spending time with friends helps them discover their identities and gives them the courage to move away from the family and into the larger world. Being restricted from exploring this aspect of themselves may leave them feeling lonely and bored, and it goes against the messages their brain's reward centers are sending.

And let's not forget the missed milestones. From birthdays to graduations to religious or cultural celebrations of growth, adolescence is also a time of important rites of passage. But these celebrations didn't happen or looked dramatically different in the past year. Teens feel a true sense of loss for missing out on important affirmations that remind them they're growing up.

On top of all that, the pandemic has diminished teens' support systems or eliminated some altogether. Besides parents, teens often get support from other caring adults, including extended family and kin networks-grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and others. Caring connections may also stem from teachers, coaches, after-school staff, or religious leaders. In normal times, schools also play an important part in providing mental health services for adolescents; research finds that just over a third of teens who get mental health services get them only at school. With these support channels disrupted, parents have an even bigger role to play in supporting teens' mental health

Strategies to support teen coping

Start with yourself. One of the most important strategies for parents looking to help their teens is too often ignored: self-care. Parents must take care of themselves. You know, the whole "put your oxygen mask on first" concept. When parents show teens the hard but productive work it takes to cope with stress, they're teaching them how to face challenges.

Children haven't fully developed the ability to regulate emotions, so they need to co-regulate with the important adults in their lives. They look to see how their parents and other trusted adults are coping to figure out how they should react. They "borrow" our calm and gain a sense of safety by watching us. But they can just as easily "borrow" our frenzy or catastrophic thinking.

Dr. Ken Ginsburg, director of the Center for Parent and Teen Communication, cautions it's not as simple as just acting calm around your kids. "Looking like a duck calmly gliding on water is not actually the answer. While it may lend stability, it doesn't teach strategy. As parents, we want to look like the duck moving through the water but also let our children see that our feet are paddling quickly underneath to help us stay afloat."

Bracho-Sanchez says when she's working with teens, she often first considers where the parents are in their own mental health and self-care journey. "I think we sometimes forget that until the parent has enough food, a safe place to live, a stable income . . . it's really hard for them to help in a way that is sustainable. And until we have provided the parents with resources to care for their own mental health, it will be difficult to create the healing environment that we so badly want for all of our kids."

Ways for parents to model good self-care for their teens include spending time with others (in a safe way), healthy eating, exercising, getting enough sleep, and making time to relax. Consider relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, reading a book, listening to calming music, or enjoying a hobby. Encourage your tweens and teens to de-stress and take part in self-care routines, as well. Let your teen know these are important tools to take back control of their bodies and minds.

Check in with teens. Amid all the changes and chaos stemming from the pandemic, how do parents learn how their teens are really doing? Ginsburg stresses the importance of listening and taking cues from what teens are saying. And if they're not saying much, ask open-ended questions that show you care about their well-being. For parents struggling to find the words, try saying, "This is a tough time. I want to know how you're experiencing this. What are you finding that's helping you get through it? How can I support you?" Parents don't have to offer immediate solutions-sometimes kids just need a sympathetic ear.

Re-establish routines. My daughter is in high school, but during the pandemic it has felt like she (and many of her friends) have adopted more of a college-age lifestyle. Staying up late, talking to friends at all hours, sleeping in, snacking throughout the day instead of eating at regular mealtimes. There's been a loss of structure. Social media and blog posts confirmed my suspicion that parents across the country are witnessing similar things happen with teens in their homes.

It's essential for our teen's mental health to get back some structure. Routines offer a sense of order that is calming in the midst of uncertainty. Help your teen re-establish bed- and wake-up times. Encourage them to get dressed in the morning, eat regular meals, and spend time away from screens.

Set the tone. Parents and caring adults can adopt an attitude that is honest, future-oriented, and hopeful. This doesn't mean denying problems exist. These may be challenging times, but it is also an opportunity to demonstrate how to manage uncertainty. A time to find creative ways to re-connect. And a chance to build resilience.

While it may be difficult to keep a positive mindset, focus on what you can control and remind your children things will get better in the future. Part of this viewpoint includes looking at the reality of the situation and teaching them to believe that their actions (or inaction) make a difference. For example, if watching television news about the pandemic all the time is adding to your teen's stress, remind them that while they can't control what appears on the news, they can determine how much they watch. Choosing to turn it off, watch less, or vary the source of programs can impact their ability to maintain a more positive outlook.

Don't forget joy. As the number of vaccinations continues to rise, Bracho-Sanchez has been encouraging families to (safely) find joy in their lives once again. "Families have been in survival mode for a while now. And when you're just surviving there's so much that you don't allow yourself to do and feel. Families have so much culture and tradition that they can bring to their young people." She focuses on joy because it's a powerful emotion for getting through hard times.

For example, my daughter and I have been enjoying putting our own spin on old family recipes. Quincineras, bar and bat mitzvahs-often large, extended family celebrations-are alternatively being enjoyed with immediate family at home as friends and other family members take part "virtually." Some families are creating new rituals. A friend now works with his kids to come up with "reflection and gratitude" prompts that they write down on slips of folded paper. They open one at dinner to start conversations about things they have to be grateful for and happy about.

Seek help. Sometimes it's beyond our ability to help teens improve their emotional and mental health. Seeking help from others is an act of great strength. If parents feel unstable or if their own mental health is challenged, there is power in seeking help for yourself and modeling that "I don't deserve to feel this way. I want to take the steps needed to feel better," says Ginsburg.

There are many places to reach out for professional help. Find a psychologist near you from the American Psychological Association or ask your personal doctor for local counseling service providers. There are also professionals trained to help children and teens get through tough times. The family pediatrician or a school counselor is a good starting point. You can also reach out to someone you trust in the community for local resources.

Moving toward a new normal

As the pandemic wanes, Ginsburg, who is also author of Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings, says there's a real opportunity for families and communities to better support teens' emotional well-being.

Many parents wonder what's going to happen to this group of teenagers after living through these unprecedented times. What they want to hear is that kids are resilient and will bounce back to normal in no time.

But Ginsburg has a slightly different answer. He says adults first must intentionally work to ensure teens have the support systems in place to help manage the enormous amount of stress they are still under. He adds, "I hope things don't go back to the way they were before the pandemic. Every generation is shaped by what it's exposed to during adolescence, and this generation has been exposed to an understanding that human beings need each other. This could be the greatest generation ever if they are shaped by this essential truth."

Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?

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How to Support Teens' Mental Health During COVID and Beyond

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It's been more than a year since the COVID-19 pandemic changed life as we knew it. Many families across the country have been living in "survival mode." Tweens and teens continue to experience a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and fear. If left unresolved, these feelings can take a toll on health and well-being.

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Adopting a 'Pen Pal' Mindset When Giving Feedback

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Adopting a 'Pen Pal' Mindset When Giving Feedback

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Traditional grading and feedback is often viewed as an exercise in fixing what's wrong with student work-grammar, vocabulary, factual errors, and problems with structure, logic, or sequencing. It's all too easy to slip into that familiar mindset when beginning to work through an assignment, but it's worth stopping to reconsider the approach.

When educators shift the tone and quality of their feedback to be less about correcting shortcomings and more about supporting and nurturing student learning-positioning themselves as co-learners, asking open-ended questions, and offering encouragement to continue revising-it can create powerful connections with students, build trust and confidence, and deepen learning. This year especially, that's a vital mindset shift worth thinking about.

Educator Henry Seton highlights this approach an article for the Usable Knowledge blog, urging teachers to revisit "the humble in-class revision block," a practice he says "deserves a fresh look as a way to regain closeness and collaboration at this time." A regular revision block gives students the time to "respond to our feedback as they revise their work" and encourages teachers to "remember the powerful connection that comes from collaborating with students as they revise their work in class," he writes. A colleague of Seton's likens in-class revision work to becoming pen pals with students: "Writing to them and them writing back to me, there is a closeness and a directness."

Becoming a highly effective collaborator, in this model, requires the teacher to deftly shift mindsets-from red-pen wielding grader-in-chief to mentor and learning confidante. Here are tips and strategies from Seton and from other teachers who've published in Edutopia for making this subtle mindset shift.

Try a Coaching Approach

To reframe feedback as a supportive, growth-oriented process, try looking outside the classroom. "Kids on a soccer team or in the cast of a play are always considering their own strengths and weaknesses," writes Ron Berger for The Atlantic. "They receive constant feedback from peers and their coaches or directors about how to notice opportunities for passes or how to use their body onstage." During practice or rehearsal, they usually don't receive letter grades, "but they do leave with specific knowledge about what they need to do better," writes Berger, who is senior advisor of teaching and learning at EL Education and teaches at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Their motivation to improve isn't based on grades. Instead, it comes from careful coaching, plenty of collaboration with peers, and the knowledge that they're preparing to perform at a high level for an outside audience. "Often, the higher the team's expectations, the more potential for growth," notes Berger.

In his sixth-grade classroom, Berger used this as inspiration for developing a collaborative style of assessment where students "regularly tracked and reflected on their academic growth with others," he writes. Students presented portfolios of their work to their families and other teachers, and toward the end of the school year, "formally presented their portfolios to a panel of school-board members, educators, and community members-our game day, so to speak-showing evidence of their skill levels and reflecting on their strengths, challenges, and goals related to academics and personal character," Berger writes. "When students collaborated in their own growth, they continually sought critique and knew what they needed to improve."

Practice Empathy

To deliver feedback that's empathetic and supportive, and encourage students to process and learn from it rather than feel defeated or discouraged, instructional coach Beth Pandolpho recommends trying a warm, cool, and hard feedback framework.

Warm feedback-highlighting students' efforts and progress, rather than innate qualities like intelligence-might sound like, "This was a really challenging assignment, but I really like the way you...," Pandolpho writes. Cool feedback could be a probing question designed to "invite students to collaborate in the feedback process," putting them in charge of deciding how to improve. For example, "If I read this aloud to you, can you identify whether your writing conveyed what you were trying to say?" Hard feedback, like "So what" and "Who cares?," challenges students to expand their ideas, but should only be used "once we've worked with a student and they know and trust us," and feel comfortable taking academic risks, says Pandolpho.

Focus Your Feedback

Providing too much corrective feedback demotivates learners. When he gives feedback to students during in-class revision work, Seton likes to keep his comments tightly focused. "For something like an essay, try restricting your comments to one specific commendation and one specific recommendation," he writes. Or when using a rubric, mark something the student is doing well with a plus sign; use a delta symbol to indicate an area where they need to improve.

High school history, government, and journalism teacher David Cutler favors a less-is-more approach to feedback. "If you point out the same blunder once or twice on a given assignment, it's best to stop there," Cutler writes. "When I notice the same mistake again, I refrain from making yet another correction. Instead, I highlight the sentence or passage and ask the student to think about what needs revision. This lets students know that I have faith in them to address the problem without me and gives them more responsibility for their learning."

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Adopting a 'Pen Pal' Mindset When Giving Feedback

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Traditional grading and feedback is often viewed as an exercise in fixing what's wrong with student work-grammar, vocabulary, factual errors, and problems with structure, logic, or sequencing. It's all too easy to slip into that familiar mindset when beginning to work through an assignment, but it's worth stopping to reconsider the approach.

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I've found that when I'm intentional about the language I use when I'm infusing a lesson and my practice with SEL content, students respond with more buy-in and motivation to learn. Furthermore, SEL becomes a seamless part of the classroom's culture, rather than one more thing to do, so the connection between academic practices and social and emotional learning deepens.

Done right, embedding SEL into our instruction builds a more supportive and equitable classroom environment. Both teacher-to-student and student-to-student interactions improve as the focus is on developing relationships through awareness, communication, and reflection.

Specific Strategies for SEL Core Competencies

Explicitly sharing why you ask students to do certain SEL activities can be even more powerful when you place it within the context of SEL core competencies. To do this, teachers can intentionally plan how a specific SEL skill or core competency relates to an instructional strategy and then verbalize this directly with students.

Here's how sharing the why might sound with several core competencies:

Self-awareness: Starting a lesson with a check-in is a great way to help students practice self-awareness (an understanding of one's inner life and how that affects behavior and decision-making); doing so also gives teachers a sense of students' emotional entry point to learning. To be explicit and help students understand how a check-in activity builds their SEL skills, try saying, "We're doing this check-in as a way for you and me to be aware of your energy level before beginning today's lesson."

I recommend Checking In starter screens from Desmos and SEL templates from Pear Deck for models that teachers can adapt to work in a virtual or in-person environment and allow students to engage through the technology.

Self-management: Guiding students toward setting goals and defining actionable steps to achieve those goals is one way to cultivate a student's sense of self-management -the ways in which they manage their own learning. As students plan for and take initiative toward that goal (such as keeping track of when assignments are due and managing their time), they demonstrate key aspects of self-management.

To be explicit, try saying, "When you set a goal based on today's target, we will be working on self-management to achieve it."

Responsible decision-making: Students tend to respect the rules and expectations for classroom learning, whether virtual or in person, when they understand how rules and expectations are connected to responsible decision-making.

One of the best ways to forge that connection is to explicitly ask them to co-construct those rules and expectations; when they work on collective, responsible decision-making to arrive at a consensus, it reinforces their consciousness of their personal decision-making process.

Try reminding students of their role in creating rules for the class, and be explicit about how that connects to their social and emotional learning. "When we discuss expectations for virtual learning, we're going to use responsible decision-making and think how others might react if you don't follow the rules."

Relationship skills: When students are purposefully grouped for instructional strategies such as during write-pair-share or Jigsaw, they work on their relationship skills. Teachers can support students as they develop these skills with group work that includes ice breakers and community building activities, as well as student conversation prompts (e.g., "What makes a good team?").

Same thing with pairing students: To verbalize the reasoning behind having students interact and to encourage students to work together, try saying, "I'm pairing you up so we can develop your communication, collaboration, and relationship skills."

Social awareness: Students can practice social awareness, which relates to students' ability to empathize, when teachers highlight various ways to approach a problem and show the value of multiple perspectives.

Next time you give a problem that can be solved in different ways (e.g., solving a math problem by talking through various approaches), begin a class discussion by saying, "Someone might not have seen it the same way you did. When we talk about different strategies and perspectives, we're working on social awareness."

Rephrasing Questions to Foster a Supportive Classroom Climate

As with instructional strategies, the language we use when asking questions can be framed with an SEL focus to foster an environment that is supportive and equitable. Here are some ideas for rephrasing that can make students feel invited to participate rather than put on the spot.

"Do you have any questions?" → "Who has the first question?" or "Ask me two questions about..."

"What did you get?" → "How did you start? Talk through your thinking."

"What didn't you get?" → "What do you know?" and "What do you wish you knew?"

"What are you working on?" → "What are you learning?"

"Where were you?" → "We missed you. Is everything OK?"

"What do you want to talk about?" → "What's on your mind?"

"How are you?" → "What are your top three feelings today?"

"What do you have to do today?" → "What do you get to do today?"

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I've found that when I'm intentional about the language I use when I'm infusing a lesson and my practice with SEL content, students respond with more buy-in and motivation to learn. Furthermore, SEL becomes a seamless part of the classroom's culture, rather than one more thing to do, so the connection between academic practices and social and emotional learning deepens.

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Students have many reasons to be distracted. Maybe they've just come from differently structured activities like phys ed, music, or lunch, and are finding it hard to refocus. A hallway between classes that is crowded, chaotic, and loud, or even a simple transition between activities inside the classroom, can steer students off track and cause dysregulation. This may be especially true for students who are dealing with adverse childhood experiences and trauma.

At Morningside Center, we use a range of activities to help students calm down, center themselves, and become more focused and present. A few moments of silence or quiet journaling can enable students (and us) to take a break from the busy school day and allow the agitation in our bodies and brains to settle.

Another strategy we use is deep, focused breathing. This practice can reduce agitation, increase focus, and help manage stress for us as well as our students. Deep breathing can be helpful in the moment, when faced with a chaotic or challenging experience. But daily practice with deep, focused breathing can also prepare us ahead of time to respond constructively and with intentionality to chaos, stress, or anxiety.

Take your students through the following steps as you start your classroom practice:

Invite students to place their hands on their belly (or abdomen in middle and high school) and take several deep breaths. Model it as you yourself practice your own deep belly breathing.

Invite students to simply notice where in their bodies they feel their breath going in and out. Do they feel the air in their nose as it goes in, and back out? Do they feel the air going further down into their bodies, causing their belly to rise and fall?

Start with 5-10 breaths on day one.

Check in with students what that was like. There are no wrong answers.

Slowly work your way up to a 2-minute practice at the start of class (or more if time allows and calm is needed).

If students find it hard to locate and observe their breath from moment to moment, invite them to use your voice as a guide (or anchor) as you slowly ... calmly ... quietly ... name the breath as it goes in ... and out of the body:

breathing in ... breathing out ...

breathing in ... breathing out ...

breathing in ... breathing out ..., etc.

Adjust the timing to your students, allowing them to slow down and deepen their breath.

With time encourage them to find a pacing that works for them as they turn to simply noticing or naming their own breath.

As you build your classroom practice consider dimming the lights and playing some quiet music to further create an atmosphere or calm and quiet.

(Also consider this simple " stop-breathe-think " strategy as a way to calm down in the moment.)

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Students have many reasons to be distracted. Maybe they've just come from differently structured activities like phys ed, music, or lunch, and are finding it hard to refocus. A hallway between classes that is crowded, chaotic, and loud, or even a simple transition between activities inside the classroom, can steer students off track and cause dysregulation.

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2-minute demonstration of a breathing technique for all ages

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We all deal with stressful situations in our lives, especially now.

In this short video, Morningside Center staff developer Iris Laurencio guides us in a breathing technique that both adults and students can use to calm down during challenging situations - such as during a test, a difficult conversation, or anytime we're feeling stressed or nervous.

Check out Teach Deep Breathing and our self-care page for more breathing exercises.

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We all deal with stressful situations in our lives, especially now. In this short video, Morningside Center staff developer Iris Laurencio guides us in a breathing technique that both adults and students can use to calm down during challenging situations - such as during a test, a difficult conversation, or anytime we're feeling stressed or nervous.

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Social & Emotional Learning (SEL)

Three social and emotional learning activities that are designed to address high school students' need for status and respect.

According to a 2018 survey, current and recent high school students don't believe their schools have done enough to help them develop socially and emotionally, and most graduates don't feel prepared for life after high school.

We're also learning that some social and emotional learning approaches simply aren't as effective with teens as they are with children. Why? It may be that teens need more opportunities to actively explore who they are and who they want to be in the world.

So how can we better address teens' developmental needs?

Researcher David Yeager and his colleagues argue that it's important to address teens' need for status ("How do others treat me?") and respect ("Am I granted the rights I expect to be granted as a student?"). If teens feel competent, autonomous, and valued in their community-if they have a sense of high status and respect, in other words-they're likely to be more motivated and engaged.

Here are three ways you can help teens develop greater self-awareness-and ultimately enhance their sense of status and respect among peers and adults.

Invite Students to Use Their Character Strengths

If teens crave respect, it's important to create a school climate where their strengths are recognized and valued.

Take time in class to have your students identify their personal strengths, such as hope, humility, honesty, kindness, and perseverance. You can begin by asking them to take a 10-minute online survey designed by positive psychology researchers.

After they learn about some of their key strengths, ask them to choose one strength to focus on every day for a week. Have them describe the strength in writing and propose several different ways they might use it each day, and challenge them to act on that strength throughout the week.

For example, if a student wants to capitalize on kindness as a strength, he might perform a random act of kindness for a peer, write a thank-you note to a teacher, or volunteer to care for abandoned animals at a local shelter over the weekend.

As an alternative to focusing on one strength all week, students might choose to focus on a different strength each day. Whichever option they choose, have them write about what they did, how it made them feel, and what they learned from the experience.

Research tells us that this activity can increase well-being and reduce symptoms of depression. It's easy for us to focus on our weaknesses and personal challenges, but when we spend time making the most of our positive qualities, we can build greater self-esteem and confidence.

Encourage Students to Imagine Their Best Selves

Another way to help students clarify who they are and how they want to be in the world is to invite them to envision their ideal future.

Ask your students to respond to the following questions in a 15-minute free-write: What is the best possible life you can imagine? Consider all the areas in your life that are important to you-relationships, school, career, hobbies and interests, etc. Be as creative and imaginative as you want, and don't worry about spelling and grammar.

Ask them to be as specific as possible, and tell them that it's easy to focus on current obstacles to reaching goals, so they should let go and simply dream about the future and exactly what it could look like.

Researchers suggest that it's important to create mindsets that blunt the power of perceived threats to teens' status and respect, and this exercise can help students feel a greater sense of control as they clarify a vision of their future self.

Challenge Students to Explore Their Purpose

Once students have practiced using their character strengths and imagined their future selves, create opportunities for them to think about how they might contribute to something larger than themselves.

The Purpose Challenge Toolkit features research-based online activities that prompt students to imagine how they might leave their mark on the world-and make it a better place.

Here are some examples:

Respond to these questions: "Imagine you've been given a magic wand, and you can change anything you want in the world. What would you want to be different, and why? Is there anything you can do to help move the world closer to this ideal? If so, how?"

Discuss what this Viktor Frankl quote means: "Those who have a 'why' to live can bear with almost any 'how.'"

Create a tattoo design that symbolizes the things that matter most to you.

Apart from these prompts, it's crucial to connect students' sense of purpose to what they're learning. Are they studying social issues that matter to them? Are they learning as a means to an end-or to make a difference in the world?

Many of our students face significant obstacles in their lives due to factors beyond their control (like health challenges, poverty, and institutionalized racism). Prompting students to connect with their strengths, identify what matters most to them, and envision ways they might contribute to the world may ultimately help them to feel more respected and empowered.

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Social & Emotional Learning (SEL) Three social and emotional learning activities that are designed to address high school students' need for status and respect. According to a 2018 survey, current and recent high school students don't believe their schools have done enough to help them develop socially and emotionally, and most graduates don't feel prepared for life after high school.

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Social-Emotional Learning -Introduction to Core Competencies

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Social-Emotional Learning -Introduction to Core Competencies

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Social-Emotional Learning | PBS LearningMedia

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Social and emotional learning (SEL) is key to advancing equity and excellence in education. It can help students experience greater agency and well-being; achieve academic, career and lifelong successes; and implement collaborative solutions that lead to a just, thriving society.

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Rose, Bud, Thorn_ Journaling Guide-1.pdf

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Movement to get centered for learning

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Courtesy of Sunnyvale School District

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SEL Choice Board (Courtesy of Sunnyvale School District)

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from Panorama's Playbook

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Educator Resilience Strategies from Panoramas Playbook (1).pdf

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7 Teacher Ideas for Supporting Students Who Aren't Doing Any Work at All

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7 Teacher Ideas for Supporting Students Who Aren't Doing Any Work at All

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What do you do when your students aren't doing any work? Whether you are a new teacher or a veteran, we all struggle with this. We want to teach and help our students learn, not spend hours taking away points in Class Dojo or making exceptions. So it did not surprise me when I saw a teacher post, "Warning vent ahead: I am so tired of students not doing their work. I want to celebrate those who do, but penalize those who don't" in our WeAreTeacher HELPLINE Facebook group.

I can relate to her frustration. But penalizing students who aren't doing any work doesn't solve the problem. There are ways we can help students who aren't doing any work. We asked you, and you answered.

How we respond to missing or late work says a lot about what we think it means to be a teacher.

There's a reason why the Facebook discussion over this topic generated so many comments. We want our students to learn, but in order for us to determine if they have learned, we need them to do the work. If students don't do any work this feels impossible. As one teacher, Mary, put it, "I feel like I am a project manager sometimes more than a teacher. I'm dependent on the kids to their work so I can do my job." So what do we do? A common thread in the comments was: before we put a zero in our grade books, it's worth evaluating if the work we're asking students to do is meaningful. Do they have the skills they need to complete it? Is it too much? Not enough? If we know we are asking students to do work that is fair, we can shift our attention to why they aren't doing it. Here are some ways teachers are helping students who aren't doing any work.

1. Mark it missing, and ask what's going on. Their answer might surprise you.

After 21 years of teaching, I realize that kids have issues we aren't aware of. Mark it missing. Then ask the kid what's going on. Their answer might surprise you. Compassion and understanding have to be at the front of all we do. -Michelle

I am showing grace, but they must show effort and communication with me. Yes, zeros happen but can be overturned. Students need to follow through. -Tara

2. Invite students to reflect on why they aren't doing any work.

I have an online form that the students fill out when they submit assignments after the due date. One field they have to fill out explains why it's late. That has been eye-opening, and when they tell me what's going on, I often offer grace and no penalty for being late. -Chris

We have to reach out and give students a hand who aren't doing any work by getting them started on the missing assignment, helping them to clarify their thinking, or even making ourselves available during the day or after hours to help them achieve success. -Shelly

3. Teach students coping strategies.

I saw an increase in work getting done when I taught students coping strategies. Begin or end a class with meditation exercises to help students get focused. Check in with students during independent work. These are simple and small ways to support your students .-Kerith

4. Ask students to write a weekly email and set goals.

I have my students send a weekly email home that includes what we have been doing in class and a picture of the grades from Powerschool. They also have to include a goal on how they will get missing assignments in. I email this to parents with me cc'd in and goes in as a grade. -Lea

5. Consider grading assessments, but not homework or other types of practice.

I grade the assessments only and make sure they align with the standards. This will give them a grade based on what they know and can do. If they do not complete the assessments, give an incomplete. -Caitlin

Keep it simple. We're grading them on the work that they do, not the work that they don't do. -Kevin

6. Try positive reinforcement and celebrate students' small wins.

I created a board called "Make yourself PROUD!" I post weekly the names of the students that are on task and send home certificates every month. -Kristy

Kids want to do well. Sometimes they just need more encouragement. Although it is exhausting to see so many half-assed assignments. I just try to convey that it's not what I expect from them. I have a copy-paste response: This assignment is designed to demonstrate your understanding. Please review the material and when you turn in an example of your understanding, your grade will reflect that! You got this! Go give it another go!-Tuesday

7. Even when you've tried everything, never give up on your students.

Separating behavior from assessment is critical! We cannot possibly understand all of the reasons why students may not be completing their work. It is easy to just say they are lazy/choosing not to do the work and should be punished so they learn accountability but this is not really in the best interest of the child. Many students do not respond well to this punitive system and will continue to fail. -Caitlin

I finally came to the conclusion that I have my core students who deserve attention because they participate and do their assignments. For the others, after months of messages home and DoJoing the names of students who have done their homework, I can keep the light on...be excited and encouraging when they do appear. -Marie

Looking for more? Here are some ideas for how to address missing work.

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7 Teacher Ideas for Supporting Students Who Aren't Doing Any Work at All

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What do you do when your students aren't doing any work? Whether you are a new teacher or a veteran, we all struggle with this. We want to teach and help our students learn, not spend hours taking away points in Class Dojo or making exceptions.

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Learning Loss?  Let's Take a Closer Look...

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Learning Loss?  Let's Take a Closer Look...

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What Shall We Do from high school students in Salem-Keizer

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Why Reading Aloud to Middle School Students Works

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Why Reading Aloud to Middle School Students Works

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The benefits of reading aloud aren't limited to elementary students. One middle school teacher explains how "read-alongs" improve comprehension and boost engagement.

Ute Grabowsky/photothek images U / Alamy Stock Photo

While reading aloud is typically an elementary school practice, a modified method can be useful for comprehension and engagement in older students as well. In EdWeek's " Bringing the Joy of Read-Alouds to Middle School Students," Christina Torres, an 8th grade English teacher at Punahou School in Honolulu, Hawaii, describes how she has used a "read-along" strategy with her students for six years. In a read-along, Torres reads while "all students follow along with their own copy of the text," she writes. "I stop periodically to explain vocabulary, model note-taking in the margins, or engage in class discussion."

Torres believes read-alongs "build student enjoyment, engagement, and camaraderie." She likens the student conversations after read-alongs to "the way an audience talks after a movie: They walk out of class chatting about what happened. They ask their peers in other classes about the voices I used, or if I added sound effects," she writes. They even read ahead and discuss their reading outside of class, she says.

The article provides several tips to make reading aloud with the class more engaging and informative for middle school students. Since it is a performance, Torres says, practice a bit before you try it in front of the class, and consider changing pacing, adding lighting, or trying out an accent. She even adopts a Southern drawl when reading To Kill a Mockingbird. "I create different voices using pitch, vocal placement, and speech patterns to differentiate characters," she writes.

Understanding that preparation is required, Torres rarely asks students to read aloud to the entire class- research suggests that the practice, often in the form of "round robin reading," may stigmatize poor readers, weaken comprehension, and sabotage fluency and pronunciation. Putting students in pairs or small groups, or giving them time to prepare for the section they'll be asked to read, creates a less intimidating environment for reading aloud.

The process of a read-along gives time for students to stop and analyze a text or question vocabulary that they do not understand: "I'll model metacognitive thinking as we read, stopping after a line and questioning my reactions to plot points or literary devices, or connecting the story to other things we've read," Torres writes. Recognizing sign-post moments together as a group-those "strategically placed words, phrases, or plot points that help readers recognize that something important is happening"-enhances comprehension across the class.

Torres also recommends a practice developed by high school English teacher Marisa Thompson called TQEs: thoughts, questions and epiphanies. Asking questions such as "What surprised you?" or "What imagery interested you?" can help students delve deeper into the reading. Torres asks students to share their reflections and make connections between the different texts they read.

Reading aloud doesn't have to be a long, involved activity, though. If scheduling is a challenge, English teacher Kasey Short suggests reserving the last five minutes at the end of class for a read-along.

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Why Reading Aloud to Middle School Students Works

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The benefits of reading aloud aren't limited to elementary students. One middle school teacher explains how "read-alongs" improve comprehension and boost engagement.

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Too Much Focus on 'Learning Loss' Will Be a Historic Mistake

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Too Much Focus on 'Learning Loss' Will Be a Historic Mistake

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Despite the understandable skepticism-and all the adjustments and sacrifices we've grown accustomed to-a sort of miracle is materializing in the distance. Published reports from the Centers for Disease Control suggest that the vaccines are doing their slow, steady work, and just a few days ago the state of California announced that they expect to be "fully back to business by June 15." The siege appears to be lifting, and this time a full return to schools across the nation, while perhaps months away, is almost certainly not a mirage.

Large-scale disruptions like the one that's ending now are always a hardship, sometimes a tragedy, and often an opportunity. Frequently they're all three, points out Ron Berger, a former teacher of 25 years, the author of eight books on education, and a senior adviser at EL Education, in his recent piece Our Kids Are Not Broken, published in The Atlantic

"Our kids have lost so much-family members, connections to friends and teachers, emotional well-being, and for many, financial stability at home," the article begins, sifting through a now-familiar inventory of devastation, before turning to a problem of a different order. "And of course, they've lost some of their academic progress."

That last issue isn't trivial. It's perfectly sensible to worry about academic setbacks during the pandemic. Ever since the first stay-at-home orders were issued, teachers in 's community have reported that some students have been pressed into caretaking duties or forced to get jobs, while many others couldn't get online at all. The crisis first exposed, and then cruelly amplified, the inequities bound up in issues of poverty, race, disability, and rural isolation. Months into the pandemic, attendance and attentiveness remained abysmal. There's a broad and growing consensus that online learning, in both its hybrid and purely remote forms, has been an anemic substitute for in-person instruction.

But our obsessive need to measure academic progress and loss to the decimal point-an enterprise that feels at once comfortably scientific and hopelessly subjective-is also woefully out of tune with the moment, says Berger. "I kept hearing about 'remediating learning loss,' and I had this vision that school was going to be a place where all the kids come in and get tested and triaged and sent to different areas to get fixed," Berger told me, almost wincing as he explained why he wrote the article for The Atlantic . The intention is good-but our children are resilient, not broken, "and as long as kids feel like their job is to come to school to be fixed, their hearts won't be in their own work," he insists.

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Too Much Focus on 'Learning Loss' Will Be a Historic Mistake

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Despite the understandable skepticism-and all the adjustments and sacrifices we've grown accustomed to-a sort of miracle is materializing in the distance. Published reports from the Centers for Disease Control suggest that the vaccines are doing their slow, steady work, and just a few days ago the state of California announced that they expect to be "fully back to business by June 15."

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Talking to Boys the Way We Talk to Girls

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Talking to Boys the Way We Talk to Girls

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Credit... James Yang

At a Father's Day breakfast, my 5-year-old son and his classmates sang a song about fathers, crooning about "my dad who's big and strong" and "fixes things with his hammer" and, above all else, "is really cool."

Now, there's nothing wrong with most of these qualities in and of themselves. But when these lyrics are passed down as the defining soundtrack to masculine identity, we limit children's understanding not just of what it means to be a father but of what it means to be a man - and a boy, as well.

When fathers appear in children's picture books, they're angling for laughs, taking their sons on adventures or modeling physical strength or stoic independence. There is the rare exception in children's books where a father baldly demonstrates - without symbolic gestures - his love for his son (a few are " Guess How Much I Love You" and " Oh, Oh, Baby Boy!"). Just as women's studies classes have long examined the ways that gendered language undermines women and girls, a growing body of research shows that stereotypical messages are similarly damaging to boys.

A 2014 study in Pediatrics found that mothers interacted vocally more often with their infant daughters than they did their infant sons. In a different study, a team of British researchers found that Spanish mothers were more likely to use emotional words and emotional topics when speaking with their 4-year-old daughters than with their 4-year-old sons. Interestingly, the same study revealed that daughters were more likely than sons to speak about their emotions with their fathers when talking about past experiences. And during these reminiscing conversations, fathers used more emotion-laden words with their 4-year-old daughters than with their 4-year-old sons.

What's more, a 2017 study led by Emory University researchers discovered, among other things, that fathers also sing and smile more to their daughters, and they use language that is more "analytical" and that acknowledges their sadness far more than they do with their sons. The words they use with sons are more focused on achievement - such as "win" and "proud." Researchers believe that these discrepancies in fathers' language may contribute to "the consistent findings that girls outperform boys in school achievement outcomes."

After visits to the emergency room for accidental injuries, another study found, parents of both genders talk differently to sons than they do to daughters. They are nearly four times more likely to tell girls than boys to be more careful if undertaking the same activity again. The same study cited earlier research which found that parents of both genders used "directives" when teaching their 2- to 4-year-old sons how to climb down a playground pole but offered extensive "explanations" to daughters.

Even boys' literacy skills seem to be impacted by the taciturn way we expect them to speak. In his book "Manhood in America," Michael Kimmel, the masculine studies researcher and author, maintains that "the traditional liberal arts curriculum is seen as feminizing by boys." Nowhere is this truer than in English classes where, as I've witnessed after more than 20 years of teaching, boys and young men police each other when other guys display overt interest in literature or creative writing assignments. Typically, nonfiction reading and writing passes muster because it poses little threat for boys. But literary fiction, and especially poetry, are mediums to fear. Why? They're the language of emotional exposure, purported feminine "weakness" - the very thing our scripting has taught them to avoid at best, suppress, at worst.

Women often say they want men to be emotionally transparent with them. But as the vulnerability and shame expert Brené Brown reveals in her book, "Daring Greatly," many grow uneasy or even recoil if men take them up on their offer.

Indeed, a Canadian study found that college-aged female respondents considered men more attractive if they used shorter words and sentences and spoke less. This finding seems to jibe with Dr. Brown's research, suggesting that the less men risk emoting verbally, the more appealing they appear.

Such squelching messages run counter-intuitively to male wiring, it turns out: Guys are born more emotionally sensitive than girls.

For three decades the research of Edward Tronick explored the interplay between infants and their mothers. He and his colleagues in the department of newborn medicine at Harvard Medical School discovered that mothers unconsciously interacted with their infant sons more attentively and vigilantly than they did with their infant daughters because the sons needed more support for controlling their emotions. Some of their research found that boys' emotional reactivity was eventually "restricted or perhaps more change-worthy than the reactivity of girls," Dr. Tronick noted in an email. Mothers initiated this - through physical withdrawal.

"So the 'manning up' of infant boys begins early on in their typical interactions," Dr. Tronick said, "and long before language plays its role."

Judy Chu, a human biologist, conducted a two-year study of 4- and 5-year-old boys and found that they were as astute as girls at reading other people's emotions and at cultivating close, meaningful friendships. In her book "When Boys Become Boys" she maintains that by the time the boys reached first grade, sometimes earlier, they traded their innate empathy for a learned stoicism and greater emotional distance from friends. Interestingly, they adopted this new behavior in public, exclusively, but not at home or when their parents were around.

Why do we limit the emotional vocabulary of boys?

We tell ourselves we are preparing our sons to fight (literally and figuratively), to compete in a world and economy that's brutish and callous. The sooner we can groom them for this dystopian future, the better off they'll be. But the Harvard psychologist Susan David insists the opposite is true: "Research shows that people who suppress emotions have lower-level resilience and emotional health."

How can we change this? We can start, says Dr. David, by letting boys experience their emotions, all of them, without judgment - or by offering them solutions. This means helping them learn the crucial lessons that "Emotions aren't good or bad" and that "their emotions aren't bigger than they are. They aren't something to fear."

Say to boys: "I can see that you're upset," or ask them, "What are you feeling?" or "What's going on for you right now?" There doesn't have to be any grand plan beyond this, she says. "Just show up for them. Get them talking. Show that you want to hear what they're saying."

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Talking to Boys the Way We Talk to Girls (Published 2017)

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At a Father's Day breakfast, my 5-year-old son and his classmates sang a song about fathers, crooning about "my dad who's big and strong" and "fixes things with his hammer" and, above all else, "is really cool." Now, there's nothing wrong with most of these qualities in and of themselves.

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How Nonviolent Communication Can Help Adults Better Understand Students' Needs

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How Nonviolent Communication Can Help Adults Better Understand Students' Needs

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All of our needs matter, Rosenberg taught. It's this concept-and the strategies I've learned for how to respond to needs-that are the reason I don't experience resistance when I coach. I'm going to get back to that very soon, but first you need to understand this more-I draw on these ideas in every coaching conversation when emotions are present.

NVC teaches that we're all just doing our best to meet a need. Needs are fundamental values that drive our actions. They're what matter the most, the root reason for why we want what we want. Needs are universal and cross-cultural, and they are positive-as you read through the list in Figure 7.1, are there any that you don't appreciate? We all share the same needs, but we feel them with varying degrees of intensity, and we use different strategies to meet them. Some strategies are effective and skillful, others are less effective and less skillful. This is where emotions come in.

When Kids Roll Their Eyes

Let's go back to the seventh-grade student who rolls her eyes. When that happens, your body produces stress hormones, which causes your heart rate to accelerate. Then you tumble into thoughts that could include, She' s so disrespectful; I' m sick of teaching ungrateful kids, and then into action-giving her a warning, writing a referral, and/or telling her that teachers must be respected.

This is a moment when you're experiencing anger. To be clear: She has not caused your anger-your anger is your own responsibility. But anger has shown up at your door and has a message for you-it wants you to listen to what it's communicating about your needs and values, which might be for respect, harmony, and cooperation. Here's what you can then say to yourself:

Here's what's possible next. You crouch down next to the student and you say, "Hey, can we check in for a minute after class? I'd like to understand what's going on for you."

After class, you stand in the doorway with the student and say, "When you roll your eyes, what are you feeling?"

She says, "I wasn't rolling my eyes."

You say, "OK," because you're not going to argue with her about whether she was or wasn't. "What were you feeling in class today?"

She says, "You're not fair. You're always picking on me."

You say, "OK, so you feel frustrated because you feel disrespected and singled out, and respect and belonging are really important-to everyone. When I asked you to throw away your gum and you rolled your eyes, I felt disrespected also."

I would like you to imagine the rest of this conversation-one in which the seventh-grade student acts age-appropriate and doesn't necessarily say everything we wish she'd say, and one in which you manage the conversation with skill and compassion. Within a few minutes, the student takes ownership for her behavior, which you appreciate, and she heads off to her next class. She does not end up in the office, and you feel calm, effective, and confident that you can respond to eye-rolling. The next time a student rolls their eyes, your body skips a beat and then you think: I wonder if they're feeling afraid that they're being singled out-their need to feel like they belong is not being met. And you say, "We have a school rule about gum. Please throw it out." And even if they roll their eyes, you don't experience it as disrespect.

Understanding Needs

In the NVC method, the word need is synonymous with value or something that matters. This doesn't mean that if we feel disrespected by a student, we turn to them and say, "I need you to respect me." This is mixing up what's meant by the word need. You could say: "I value respect, and I'm committed to respecting you also. If you are feeling angry, I'd like to ask that you share what you're feeling in words." This, of course, is assuming that the student has the emotional intelligence to recognize their feelings and communicate skillfully-which is why our students require social-emotional learning. Regardless of what the student says or does, we, however, can maintain equilibrium-we can listen to our own emotions and understand the messages they're trying to tell us about our own needs.

Recognizing our needs doesn't automatically mean they'll be met-sometimes they are, and sometimes they aren't. Sometimes our needs have more to do with something we need to change about our life, or we need internally, than something that another person can provide. We can learn how to express our needs to others and get more of them met-that's a great deal of what NVC teaches. But ultimately, freedom doesn't come from being able to control outcomes. It comes from knowing our values, developing ways to respond to the emotions that come up, and letting go. We can learn how to be at peace with some unmet needs.

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How Nonviolent Communication Can Help Adults Better Understand Students' Needs - MindShift

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All of our needs matter, Rosenberg taught. It's this concept-and the strategies I've learned for how to respond to needs-that are the reason I don't experience resistance when I coach. I'm going to get back to that very soon, but first you need to understand this more-I draw on these ideas in every coaching conversation when emotions are present.

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Why Adolescence Matters in Preventing Substance Abuse

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Why Adolescence Matters in Preventing Substance Abuse

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At this stage of brain development, adolescents are wired to crave risk, new experiences, social acceptance, and independence. At the same time, teens often struggle with impulse control and risk assessment. "If you want to see your teenager become even more volatile, add substances into the mix," says Lahey.

But the very things that make the teenage years challenging can also be harnessed in powerful, positive ways . "The brain is primed right at that moment to seek novelty and boost dopamine," says Lahey, so adults have "an incredible opportunity to push kids in a direction of positive risks that up their competence." Let them engage in new, exciting activities that create that dopamine rush they crave. Encourage them to join a new club, try out for a part in the play, take that rock-climbing class, become a volunteer for a cause they care about, or explore the woods - any activity that catches their attention and pushes them out of their comfort zone. Exercise, time in nature, team activities, and meaningful work all support mental health.

Amplify Protective Measures

Several factors put children at increased risk for substance abuse, including adverse childhood experiences, family history of substance abuse, low academic achievement, peer culture, and lack of school connectedness. But none of these factors are destiny, says Lahey, and she wants to absolve the shame and guilt that some parents may feel when they recognize their child is in a higher-risk category for one reason or another. Instead, she wants parents to feel empowered by what they can do, starting today.

There are plenty of ways adults can amplify protective measures that will reduce a teen's risk level. These include getting them academic support; setting clear family expectations about substance use; building healthy sleep, exercise, mindfulness, and nutrition habits as a family; and enlisting other adult allies to help, such as mentors, pediatricians, guidance counselors, and coaches. Research shows that "as long as a kid has one supportive, protective adult in their life, then they can overcome a whole bunch of risk factors," says Lahey.

Talk About It Openly and Honestly

When it comes to drugs and alcohol, our kids need transparent, honest, and evidence-based information from trusted adults. Lahey's advice for having these conversations boils down to this: Start early and keep it up, because the more you talk the easier it gets. Twenty-nine percent of middle schoolers and 61 percent of high schoolers report that they have a close friend who uses substances. According to Lahey, we can innoculate kids by equipping them with useful information, including refusal skills. Practice scripts they can use when they encounter peer pressure - including an exit strategy, such as a word or emoji they can text you if they want you to come pick them up.

And don't worry about being a hypocrite if you use substances yourself, says Lahey. You can still urge your children to wait because chemicals interact differently with the adolescent brain than with the adult brain. "If you do harm to your brain during that period, there's no going back to fix it."

Look for ways to help them understand how avoiding substance use is in their immediate best interest - how it will positively impact their athletic and academic performance or personal goals. "Kids can feel really bulletproof, but you can help them understand how drug and alcohol use affects their hopes and dreams and goals - which, of course, requires you to know what their hopes and dreams and goals are," says Lahey. This personal approach taps into their internal motivation and self-efficacy - or that "sense of control, agency and hope, even when the world around them feels out of control."

Implement Evidence-Based School Programs

In Lahey's research, she found that school-connectedness was the "only education-related variable that protected kids against every single adverse life outcome." In other words, when kids felt safe and cared for at school, they had better outcomes on just about every measure.

Research also shows that the more invested the principal and superintendent are in prevention programs, the more invested the entire school community will be - leading to greater program efficacy. "It's really hard for one school nurse to pull it off alone," says Lahey. "So many of the risk situations are community-based, so the solutions are going to be community-based, too."

Strong prevention programs have an SEL component, teach children refusal skills, and give them clear, compelling evidence that helps them understand how their brains work and how substances can affect their lives. School leaders can use the Blueprints for Healthy Youth Development registry to explore programs that have clear evidence of effectiveness.

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Why Adolescence Matters in Preventing Substance Abuse - MindShift

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At this stage of brain development, adolescents are wired to crave risk, new experiences, social acceptance, and independence. At the same time, teens often struggle with impulse control and risk assessment. "If you want to see your teenager become even more volatile, add substances into the mix," says Lahey.

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Videos addressing Bullying

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https://www.brooksgibbs.com/
#RaiseThemStrong

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School Assembly Preview

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Advocating for Yourself using Nonviolent Communication

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Advocating for Yourself using Nonviolent Communication

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The Mood Meter was developed by the Yale Center of Emotional Intelligence.

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Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.

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Pages Matam, Elizabeth Acevedo & G. Yamazawa - Unforgettable

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How Mistakes Can be Generative for Teachers and Students Alike

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How Mistakes Can be Generative for Teachers and Students Alike

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Mistakes are not the only things that vary. The impact changes too. "It's not just that our mistakes affect us differently because of where we stand in the world, but also that our mistakes affect students differently because of their identities," Cruz explains in her book. There are some mistakes where the impact can be so harmful to kids that adults should establish "zero-fail missions" to make sure failure is unlikely to occur. Teaching students to read and having students see themselves in their curriculum are important research-backed zero-fail missions, Cruz says.

"We have a habit of picking the wrong zero fail missions that are often based on tradition and belief, and not fact." Once a "zero-fail mission" is identified, she recommends identifying potential obstacles and upholding rigorous prioritization to make sure that goals are met.

How grades can create a class culture based on "failure-rich" learning

Grading systems both penalize learners who make mistakes and limit high achieving students. However, there are alternative assessment tools teachers can use to help students feel more comfortable with error. "I would give students a kid version of a report card and ask them to assess themselves . Then, I would make an assessment," says Cruz. "And if I was sitting with a [student] who had a different assessment of themselves than what I thought, I would have a conference with them and try to figure out why we saw it differently."

During the pandemic, grading has become even more complex and contentious with many students receiving failing grades in academic subjects . "What we say grading is, which is a communication system, is different from what it ends up being, which is a merit system," says Cruz. "Those systems come with advantages for people who come to school with certain kinds of privileges, whether it's prior knowledge, full bellies, great Internet access or wonderful devices." She recommends responding to learners who are not performing well with compassion. Teachers should make efforts to touch base with struggling students or call their caregivers to find out more about any obstacles to learning.

Debunking the teacher martyr trope

Teachers often fall into or are steered towards the savior-martyr stereotype, says Cruz. "The teacher archetype is basically working to the bone all hours of the night for a pittance."

At first glance, that may seem like an asset. School closures and distance learning have created the conditions where teacher martyrdom seems more likely than ever before. However, she points out teachers are more likely to make mistakes when they haven't taken care of their personal needs. And when teachers overcommit and overexert themselves, they are missing a valuable opportunity to show students that it is okay to prioritize self care.

Instead, try setting boundaries to delineate personal time from teacher time. It can be as simple as preserving the sanctity of lunchtime. High school educator Kelly Gallagher recalls that his classroom used to be open for students to have lunch. "I got to a point in my career when I said, 'Nope. I'm going to have lunch with adults and I'm going to talk about things that we wouldn't talk about in a classroom full of kids.'"

Stepping away from the classroom - which for some educators is currently the computer - can actually benefit educators' teaching practices. "I think the best teacher planning is going to the museum," reveals New York-based middle school teacher Donna Santman, who encourages educators to pursue their own interests outside of school. And while educators can't necessarily access public spaces in the same way these days, regular breaks could reduce the number of avoidable mistakes they make in the classroom and increase capacity for more creative and innovative classes.

Even apologizing can become a meaningful model to students

Being an authority figure in a classroom can make teachers feel as if they have to put their best face forward all the time, so most teachers' first instinct is to cover up their mistakes as soon as possible. However, second grade teacher Connie Pertuz-Meza urges teachers to turn mistakes into teachable moments and turn classrooms into more mistake-friendly environments. "I always felt like if I made a mistake I needed to sweep it under the rug," she says. "Students need to see the action of a teacher realizing and rewinding to say, 'Oops, I made a mistake.'"

Cruz advises that teachers own up to the harmful impact of their actions regardless of whether their intentions were good. While admitting to errors is uncomfortable, it shows students how to take ownership over their actions and impact . It also communicates that students are valuable and worthy of the respect that a genuine apology requires.

"My first response used to be defense before, and now it is to assess the damage," says Cruz, noting that a school-wide culture of mistake-making is most helpful when acknowledging and recovering from consequential mistakes. Unless schools make it explicit that mistake-making is welcome and expected, teachers will avoid the risks necessary to being adaptive teachers who are responsive to students' needs.

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How Some Mistakes Can be Generative for Teachers and Students Alike - MindShift

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Mistakes are not the only things that vary. The impact changes too. "It's not just that our mistakes affect us differently because of where we stand in the world, but also that our mistakes affect students differently because of their identities," Cruz explains in her book.

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We are operating in uncharted territory right now that nobody could have possible imagined or prepared for. Your CNUSD School Counselors want you to know that , no matter what they are. You might feel scared, confused, overwhelmed, angry, alone, grateful, or completely calm. You might feel many things at once, like being upset that an event was cancelled, but happy that you can wear pajamas all day. Your feelings are normal; the situation is not. your feelings are valid . Don't forget to breathe Th is Virtual Calming Room is a place for students and families to find tools and strategies for managing emotions and feelings. We are here to support you! -CNUSD School Counselors Disclaimer: The following links are purely for educational purposes and are not intended as psychological interventions or as a substitute for psychological treatment. If you are in need of psychological help you should seek the consultation of a licensed mental health professional.

The School Counselor's in CNUSD address the needs of students in all three domains; academic, social emotional, and career development as well as helping create a positive and safe learning experience. CNUSD School Counselor's will also support students as they face issues that prevent their healthy development. Our hope is that the CNUSD Virtual Calming Room will meet the students needs in all areas.

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We are operating in uncharted territory right now that nobody could have possible imagined or prepared for. Your CNUSD School Counselors want you to know that your feelings are valid, no matter what they are. You might feel scared, confused, overwhelmed, angry, alone, grateful, or completely

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Stress Management Practices for Educators

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Stress Management Practices for Educators

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Greater Good in Education

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Stress Management for Educators | Greater Good In Education

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Circle discussions foster community and intimacy in a classroom, and can serve academic and social and emotional purposes.

When I think about my style as a teacher, two words come to mind: community and communication. I want my classroom to be a place where students want to be, a place where they feel safe and loved and valued. And I want it to be filled with student voice-I want them to tell their stories. These two qualities are inextricably linked: When students belong, they open up, and when they open up, they belong.

I've found that an effective and meaningful path to both community and communication in my classroom is circle practice, inspired by restorative justice (RJ). Though it originated in the context of criminal justice, RJ has become popular in schools as many educators use it as an alternative to traditional discipline approaches-it's a shift from focusing on consequences to focusing on responsibility and relationships.

But RJ and circle practice can also be used to serve academic, social and emotional, and reflective purposes with our students.

Setting Up a Circle

Start with the physical space. After years of practice, I have a routine: On my centerpiece-a beautiful round, knitted blanket I received from a colleague-I place a talking piece that acts as a physical signifier indicating whose voice we are listening to at any time. I use a rock, crystal, stuffed animal, or toy. Around the centerpiece are enough chairs for all participants; the chairs must be in close proximity to foster intimacy.

Speak from the heart (only with the talking piece, authentic contributions);

Listen from the heart (without judgment, with compassion);

Speak spontaneously (spend time listening, not thinking about what you're going to say);

Speak leanly (especially important with big groups); and

What is shared in the circle stays in the circle (I stress this fiercely).

Next, set up the purpose and expectations. If it's the first circle with a group, I have an overview printed to use as a guide. I explain the overarching purpose of circle: to form a community with open lines of communication, which is so important to taking intellectual risks.

Doing this thoroughly early in the year sets up circle culture for the rest of the year.

After this general setup, be explicit about your intention for the current circle. Is it to build relationships? to explore an academic topic? to rectify a wrong? to explore an issue of concern?

The Structure of a Circle

With the physical space and expectations established, it's time to explain the three basic components of a circle routine: opening, prompts, and closing.

The opening: This consists of the norming already discussed and a moment of mindfulness. I share directions if needed: After a prompt is posed, the first student who wishes to speak will take the talking piece and share their thoughts, and then pass it to the left; each student can either speak or pass.

We each share our names (if the participants don't know each other), and begin with an icebreaker-a light, easy question that invites everyone's voice into the space without threat (e.g., what's your favorite music? ice cream flavor? season?). It's important to emphasize that the goal is listening, not responding; participants should share their own answers in each round, not react to each other.

The prompts: After the opening come the prompts, which are what allow a circle to serve your specific purpose. I provide a few examples of prompts for different circle purposes here, but you can come up with many more tailored to your students and your purpose.

Circles are effective at the beginning of the year as a means to start identifying and planning for students' individual needs. I ask: What kind of learner are you? Who is a teacher who has influenced you greatly, and why? What do you need from your peers to be successful? What are your learning pet peeves? How do you feel about reading, writing, and/or speaking?

One way to use circles to build relationships is to print out several "get to know you" questions (I've compiled a list of a couple hundred of these), lay them around the centerpiece, and let students pick which questions to use for the prompt rounds. Students can also craft their own questions to ask each other.

Restorative justice is a traditional use of circles. After conflicts or other difficult situations, you can ask: What happened? Why did it happen? Who was affected, and how? How do we repair the wrongs?

A related use of circles is caring for students in moments of stress or trauma. After a heartbreaking flare-up of gang violence in our city, my students and I wept together in circle, answering questions like: What makes you feel afraid? What makes you feel safe? What do you need? How can we move the community forward?

Circles can serve academic purposes as well. For example, before beginning Leslie Marmon Silko's Ceremony, I printed out articles with information about issues affecting Native Americans and laid them on the centerpiece with baskets of pens, pencils, and Post-its. I had students pick an article and read and annotate it. Then I asked questions such as: What predictions do you have about the novel based on these articles? What is something that stood out to you, and why?

Circles can serve any purpose-all you need are meaningful prompts.

The closing: Because circles can be so powerful, they necessitate closure. There are a couple ways to do this. You can keep it light with a group high five or a silly coordination game. You can do a witness round in which participants share one word on their mind. The closing offers an opportunity for participants to transition in a healthy way. It's critical to remind participants of the norm that what was shared in the circle stays in the circle.

Some of my most memorable (I dare say magical) moments in the classroom have been inside of a circle, and they are always treasured moments of community and communication. And I think my students would say the same.

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Circle discussions foster community and intimacy in a classroom, and can serve academic and social and emotional purposes.

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Tools for Regulation, Relational, and Restoration "Breaks"

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Tools for Regulation, Relational, and Restoration "Breaks"

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National Educators for Restorative Practices

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Connection Toolkit

Our 6.0 Connection Toolkit features six proactive tools that help our teachers build and sustain relationships in the classroom. We invite you to explore these tools as you look to build-and sustain-relationships with your students.

60-Second Relate Break

A 60 Second Relate Break is similar to a typical "brain break" that takes place in the classroom. The teacher presents a question to the class. Sets a timer for 60 seconds and guides students to start sharing in a "turn and talk" manner to those around them. The teacher walks around the class listening to students share their responses. At the end of the time, the teacher shares their personal response to the prompted question, so students can learn about you. Focus on students learning about each other and you learning about them!

2-Minute Connections

Invest two minutes by having students stand around the room (NOT in a circle) for a "Stand and Share" session. Pose a question(s). Set a timer. Teacher shares first. Pick direction and guide students to respond to the prompted question by a head turn making sure students feel safe to share but are not required. The physical space between students and teacher will allow students to connect with others as they listen to students respond to the question(s). Focus on students learning about each other and you learning about them!

90 Second Spark

A plan for teachers to create opportunities to build and sustain relationships with students by developing a plan to "Meet-n-Greet" their students in a way that is genuine and authentic. In addition, this plan provides a structure to provide a positive interactions between students to increase the "positive energy" in the classroom. Focus on students experiencing and demonstrating care and empathy during these interactions!

Pulse Meters

A tool to use with students that helps develop a students own social and emotional vocabulary by allowing them to choose a color, number or some other scale that will help them describe their current state of emotions. These are great tools to check-in, check-up or check-out with students. Focus on allowing the students to feel safe in sharing their "pulse" when these tools are utilized in the classroom!

Treatment Agreement

This is a three section social compact that is introduced into the classroom to help establish norms and guidelines on how we treat each other. Classroom communities have found this to be a powerful tool that empowers students and teachers to develop a sense of ownership and accountability and within the classroom space. Focus on using this as a redirect tool and extending this concept into a weekly Relationship Goal for students to strive to improve the way they treat each other.

GTKY Circles

These classroom circles are designed to build community by getting to know each other while in the shape of a circle. These are non-content based circles where students are encouraged to share responses that are fun and enlightening. These are not trauma based or deep-ended circles. The circle components consist of 3-5 guidelines, a talking piece, and 4 GTKY questions. Focus on creating a safe space where students can pass if they need to but have a voice when it is their turn!

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Six Tools for Restorative and Relational Practices - National Educators for Restorative Practices

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Sign Up Today for the Relational Tools Online Course Connection ToolkitOur 6.0 Connection Toolkit features six proactive tools that help our teachers build and sustain relationships in the classroom. We invite you to explore these tools as you look to build-and sustain-relationships with your students.

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Do You Have to 'Love' Every Student?  And What If You Don't?

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Do You Have to 'Love' Every Student?  And What If You Don't?

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Decades of research-and conventionally held wisdom-say that positive teacher-student relationships matter. But do you really have to love every student? And what if you don't?

"We go into [teaching] with the idea that we're going to love our students, we're going to be like the teachers in the movies, ... all of the kids are going to be motivated, there's going to be a soundtrack, it's going to be amazing," said Vickie Crockett, a high school English/language arts teacher in Atlanta. "I think we allow ourselves to get boxed into [the idea] that we're just going to fall magically in love with all of these disparate personalities that come into our classroom."

But the reality is not quite like the movies. As most teachers can attest, some students are challenging. They might be disruptive, or disengaged, or even rude. Some might genuinely dislike their teacher for reasons outside of the teacher's control. Sometimes, no matter how hard a teacher tries, he or she can't "click" with a certain student.

Strong student-teacher relationships, however, are linked to both short-term and long-term improvements on multiple measures: higher student academic engagement, better attendance, better grades, fewer disruptive behaviors and suspensions, and lower school dropout rates. These effects hold true regardless of students' individual, family, and school backgrounds.

Experts say that forging positive relationships with the full range of students, including the aloof, withdrawn, and even defiant ones, is not necessarily an intuitive skill-it comes with training and experience. Yet there's a stigma against admitting that connecting with some children is easier said than done, teachers say.

"We are allowed to say that our spouses frustrate us, we're allowed to say our [own] children frustrate us, we're allowed to say that we don't necessarily like our colleagues or even supervisors," Crockett said. "But we're not allowed to say that there's a child that I work with that I find very difficult, and the truth of the matter is that I weep a little inside when I see them coming, and I rejoice when I see them leaving."

Still, teachers "don't get to act on those feelings," she stressed. "I do think that it is imperative that we understand where our students are coming from."

So how do teachers connect with a student who may be hard to like? Education Week spoke to both experts and veteran teachers from all grade levels to get their advice.

Try not to take it personally. Remember that the disruption and mean comments probably don't have anything to do with you, and it's human nature not to mesh with everyone, educators said. Still, that's easier said than done.

"You can't judge this person because of the way they're behaving in this moment, there's always some underlying thing," said Audrey Green, an 8th grade Global Scholars program teacher in Broward County, Fla. "But how do you get through the day if the kid is acting like that all the time?"

For example, she said, a student once told her that she shouldn't be a teacher. The comment stung.

"It's very hard to not take it personally," Green said. "You immediately become the middle schooler. We're all human. If you have people berating you all day," it's going to hurt.

That's why it's important for teachers to learn how to regulate their own emotions, and take a step back in the heat of the moment to calm down, said Allison Riddle, a veteran teacher who is now the elementary mentor supervisor for the Davis school district near Salt Lake City.

"I felt so much better inside when I was able to just be calm and have empathy for a student-as soon as I learned, 'This isn't directed at you, this person is in pain,'" she said.

Find something to like about a prickly student. A student isn't defined by their attitude in class, teachers say.

"It's easy to like the kid who is compliant," said Wendy Ramos, a high school English teacher in Weslaco, Texas. "It's more of a challenge to like the kid who's giving you trouble; but that doesn't mean you can't. I think you can find things in most students that you like. ... I think that, sometimes, you can even just like the challenge that they're giving you, to help you grow as an educator and as a compassionate person."

This starts with forming relationships with students at the beginning of the year, teachers said. Learn about their interests and hobbies, and try to find common ground.

After all, "the more you get to know somebody, the more that you develop empathy for them, the stronger the relationship is," said Vicki Nishioka, a senior research adviser with the nonprofit group Education Northwest who studies teacher-student relationships.

Teachers said they try to engage their students in personal conversations before or after class. At the elementary level, recess might even be a place for teachers and students to forge a common bond, said Kevin Parr, a 1st grade teacher in Wenatchee, Wash.

"Sitting down one-on-one is almost a confrontation, but if you're shooting baskets or playing tetherball, it's more of a safe space to talk," he said.

Step outside the authority role to better connect with students. Don't be afraid to open up with students, Nishioka said.

"It helps students to see [a teacher] as a person who maybe has had some of the same struggles, ... or had some failures and made some mistakes that they've recovered from," she said. "I think it's important as a model, but also for relationship-building, for students to hear some of those stories."

When Green, the 8th grade teacher in Florida, allowed her students to use the game Minecraft for a class project, it put her in the learner's seat. Her students knew more about how to build virtual worlds in the game than she did.

"You become human," she said. "[They see] you are fallible, and you're trying."

Build a positive classroom culture. It's important for all students to feel welcomed by their teachers, experts said.

"I think that establishing a sense of belonging for students is so essential for them to want to come [to class], for them to want to engage with teachers," Nishioka said. "I can't tell you how many times a student has told me I did my homework, but I was mad at the teacher so I didn't turn it in."

That's why it's critical to continue to try to show support to students, even if they're resistant, teachers said.

"Even just a little smile can go a long way," Parr said. "If you act positively toward a kid, eventually they'll act positively toward you. They'll gain the trust."

Also, other students can help: "If there's a positive classroom environment, and everyone is treating each other respectfully, ... over time, that challenging student will assimilate to the rest of the group," Parr said.

And when a student isn't acting appropriately, teachers have to be "emotional detectives," said Tyrone Howard, a professor of education at the University of California, Los Angeles' graduate school of education, who co-wrote an upcoming book called No More Teaching Without Positive Relationships.

A teacher should try to pick up on cues that a student is upset about something, he said, and ask questions like, "Is there anything I can do to assist, or maybe just lend an ear? Do you need some additional time to complete an assignment? Is everything OK? Do you need a counselor you want to talk to?"

"I think students can tell if teachers really are truly interested in their well-being by demonstrating what I call authentic care," Howard said.

Build a relationship with parents, too. They can be both a valuable ally and an insight into why the student is acting out, teachers say.

Crockett, the English teacher in Atlanta, said reaching out to parents early on gives her a "partner at home-someone I know who is batting on my team."

One time, she said, she had a student who "loathed" her and would push back on everything she said. Crockett met with the student's mother, who immediately knew the problem-Crockett looked just like the student's father's new girlfriend. The mother was then able to talk to her child and help her get through the school year.

"I was never her favorite, and she was never mine, but we were able to reach a compromise," Crockett said. "It's not the ideal, but sometimes it's the reality."

Make sure to confront any unconscious biases or stereotypes. Data show that black students are more likely to be disciplined at school at disproportionate rates. And teachers make the first decisions about behavioral consequences.

Nishioka said it's important for teachers to confront their implicit biases, which might influence how they treat students in their classroom. For example, white teachers-who make up 80 percent of the profession-might see a black student as more aggressive or unruly than a white student, and could dole out harsher consequences for similar behavior.

"I think many teachers will say, 'I'm fair to everybody,' so it really takes a lot of work, and probably work that they need to do on their own but also in partnership with other people," Nishioka said. "I think it's hard to look at yourself inwardly without getting some information from teachers around you."

Part of that, Nishioka said, comes from having a school community that values the cultural differences of students and teachers.

"If we begin to ask students and listen to them about their story, then we begin to appreciate and maybe begin to challenge some of our own misconceptions or opinions that we made about the students," she said.

Don't try to force a resolution with a student who is not receptive. Trying to resolve a problem when the student and the teacher are still upset won't be productive, teachers say.

Riddle, the elementary mentor supervisor in Utah, said she learned over the years that it's important to give everyone involved some space and calm down before addressing the conflict.

"It feels better to walk away and let a child de-escalate than it does to stand there and stay angry," she said. "It feels better for everyone. ... It feels better for the learning atmosphere."

Students still have to be held responsible for their work, their effort, and their actions, Riddle said, but it will be more productive if they're allowed to calm down first. "You have to give grace sometimes," she said.

Even in the long-term, some students might not want to build a relationship with their teacher, despite the teacher's best efforts.

"One of the things that kills teachers is that there are always going to be students who, for whatever reason, don't engage or are not receptive," Howard said. "You shouldn't press it, if students are not wanting to receive it, because that can oftentimes go really bad."

Instead, he said, teachers should be consistent and let students know they're always available to talk.

Don't expect instant results. Building meaningful relationships with students takes time, experts said, and it might take longer than a semester or even a school year to yield fruit.

"I've seen over the years teachers say that a student that they thought they never made an impact with will come back a year later or two years later and say, 'I appreciate you because you always checked. I never did open up, but you continued to check to see how I was doing, you still made yourself available,'" Howard said. "We tell teachers, don't always expect immediate results."

Green, the 8th grade teacher, said she's had a few challenging students reach out years later-a sign that she was doing something right, even if it might not have felt like it at the time.

"They come back from high school where they've matured and say, 'I get it now,'" she said. "It doesn't happen that often. But that's where the measurement should be."

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Do You Have to 'Love' Every Student? And What If You Don't?

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Decades of research-and conventionally held wisdom-say that positive teacher-student relationships matter. But do you really have to love every student? And what if you don't? "We go into [teaching] with the idea that we're going to love our students, we're going to be like the teachers in the movies, ...

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If you're an administrator, teacher, or counselor, this has likely been on your mind-more than ever-this school year.

Checking in with students has always been important. But when routines are disrupted and we may not be in the same physical location as students, it's even more critical to keep a regular pulse on how students are doing.

Bi-weekly or monthly student "check-ins" are a great way to gather quick feedback and find the students who need extra help right now -academically, socially, and emotionally. They can also be an effective relationship-building tool between educators and students, especially in a virtual environment.

Below, explore a question bank and guidelines for designing your own check-in for students. The questions cover areas such as well-being, the learning environment, and what students may need immediate help with. Feel free to take and modify the questions as you see fit! If you'd like to learn about administering these questions through the Panorama platform, please contact us.

Download our full Check-ins Question Bank (includes 80+ questions!)

Guidelines: How to Use These Questions

What and Who

A teacher, counselor, or administrator creates and administers a check-in survey (maximum of five questions) asking students about their well-being.

Teachers and counselors individually review the answers and follow up with specific students.

Frequency

Taking Action on Responses

Strengthen Tier 1 practices.

Follow up with individual students.

Set up interventions for individual students or groups of students.

Question Bank: Student Well-Being Check-ins

1. How are you feeling today?

2. What emotion are you feeling the most today?

3. What was the best part of the past week for you?

4. What was the hardest part of the past week for you?

5. What can teachers or other adults at school do to better help you?

6. During the past week, how often did you feel [Excited? Happy? Loved? Safe? Hopeful? Angry? Lonely? Sad? Worried? Frustrated?]

7. How clearly did I teach things in class today?

8. If your friend missed class today and asked you to explain the lesson, what would you tell them?

9. What was confusing for you today?

10. How much did students in class help each other learn today?

11. How included did you feel in class today?

12. What was your favorite part of class today?

13. What got in the way of your learning today?

14. What's the biggest thing I/you could do better tomorrow to help you learn?

15. Do you feel bullied by other students?

16. How have you been sleeping recently?

17. If we had free breakfast at school, how much would that help you?

18. If you could do laundry at school, how much would that help you?

19. If you could get free clothes (like jackets and shoes) at school, how much would that help you?

20. If we could improve your internet access outside of school, how much would that help you?

21. Would you like to talk privately with an adult from school about how you're feeling or something on your mind?

Does Your School or District Have a Plan for Supporting Students' Well-Being and SEL This Year?

Panorama Education is the #1 provider of social-emotional learning measurement tools for schools and districts. With Panorama, proactively measure and take action on students' social-emotional well-being.

Contact us to learn about partnering with Panorama for annual SEL measurement and rapid-response check-in surveys.
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21 Quick Questions to Check-in on Your Students' Well-Being in 2021

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If you're an administrator, teacher, or counselor, this has likely been on your mind-more than ever-this school year. Checking in with students has always been important. But when routines are disrupted and we may not be in the same physical location as students, it's even more critical to keep a regular pulse on how students are doing.

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Strategies for Gathering Student Feedback

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Strategies for Gathering Student Feedback

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You can give your best only when you are at your best. This 10-day series provides you with free and for-purchase mental health resources for educators.

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December 2020/January 2021 | Volume 78 | Number 4
Mental Health for Educators Pages 22-26

Phyllis L. Fagell

Nearly halfway through an unpredictable school year, educators may find the ambiguity of their working lives as distressing as the tangible losses they're experiencing because of the pandemic. In a 2016 study, researchers at University College London found that participants who were told they had a small chance of getting a painful electric shock felt more anxious than those who knew they would be shocked. And in a systematic literature review, sociologists in Germany found that job insecurity can exact as big a toll on mental health as unemployment (Kim & von dem Knesebeck, 2015). Perhaps not surprisingly, a new study published in JAMA revealed that the prevalence of depression symptoms in U.S. adults has tripled since the pandemic began (Ettman et al., 2020).

Educators, in particular, are struggling to maintain an even keel. "We can take guidelines and operationalize a plan, but the greatest variable is [that we are all] human"-unpredictable by nature, says Sarah Sirgo, director of learning, achievement, and administration for Montgomery County Public Schools in Maryland. As schools return to hybrid or in-person instruction, for instance, districts can mandate that students wear masks, but they can't guarantee perfect compliance. And while leaders can implement safety precautions, they can't eliminate all danger or predict how individual teachers will cope with the stress and fear. "One of the biggest challenges is how different people will respond and react to the unknown," adds Jae Lee, principal of Carderock Elementary School in Montgomery County.

As a school counselor, I am aware that everyone from parents to educators to children is feeling the stress of uncertainty. Many parents worry that their child has regressed, withdrawn, or disengaged from school. Educators have rapidly acquired new instructional delivery methods, and some are balancing both in-person and remote instruction. Even teachers with decades of experience feel like they're back in year one, and educators across the country are on the receiving end of a steady stream of demoralizing criticism. Meanwhile, emotions are contagious, and children are absorbing all the ambient anxiety.

Amid all this, how can we regain a sense of control? Based on my research and experience, I have identified six ways that educators can cope and be a reassuring source of strength for students when the only constant right now is change and uncertainty.

1. Reframe your personal narrative.

"The linear life is dead," says Bruce Feiler, author of Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age (Penguin Press, 2020). His data show that people go through three to five "lifequakes," massive life changes with aftershocks that can last five years or more. Everyone hits bumps in the road, he explained to me, but this is the first time the entire planet is experiencing a lifequake simultaneously.

Given the current pandemic, it's easy to sink into pessimism, question others' judgment, or focus on what we've lost, but it's far more productive to alter our mindset and recognize that peaks can't exist without valleys. When we let go of preconceived ideas about what life should look like, we have an easier time self-regulating our emotions.

Rewrite the narrative, casting yourself as the hero-as someone who discovers their strength because of the pandemic. As you frame your story internally, focus on the skills you're acquiring, such as flexibility and self-compassion. Boosting resilience may represent the upside to the pandemic, Feiler points out. "I believe-as scary and sad as it is-we're going to make a lot of calluses and forge a lot of transition-management skills."

2. Prune and preserve relationships.

In times of stress, we have fewer reserves. Uncertainty feeds anxiety, fear, and anger-emotions that hinder the ability to read social cues and adopt someone else's perspective. We are also more susceptible to others' negativity. To sustain stamina, curate your social network. Limit interactions with friends and colleagues who drain or deplete you and protect relationships with the people you've come to trust and who are engaged in this crisis with you.

This can be challenging in times of stress, when people are not at their peak and may be more easily provoked. Following a series of negative interactions with frustrated parents, for example, a trusted administrator may exhibit less patience with a teacher. To limit misunderstandings, know your own triggers, whether that's ruminating about an outcome you can't alter, spending hours with someone who complains incessantly, skipping your morning run, or "doomscrolling" through grim newsfeeds.

Recognize that social distancing can also heighten sensitivity. "One of the reasons why this is hard for everyone-hard for me-is that before, we were getting all this positive energy from daily interactions and reaffirming relationships," notes Lee. He recently had to reassure a staff member who called him and said, "Hey, Jae, I want to make sure you're not mad at me."

Even when educators are physically together, it's harder to accurately interpret someone's tone through a mask. We need facial expressions to decipher emotions in ordinary times, let alone in the middle of a pandemic. "Our nervous systems get activated when we feel threatened, and we can't access our prefrontal capacity as well," explains psychologist Tina Bryson, coauthor of The Whole-Brain Child (Bantam, 2012). Before you react with a strong emotion, take a deep breath and consider whether you're likely to elicit the desired outcome. Lashing out in anger or placing blame tends to be divisive and counterproductive. As the pandemic has illustrated, we're stronger when we work together.

"I hope we all can show a little grace and resist the inclination to be swept up in alarm," notes Sirgo. As one of the officials leading the design and recovery work in her district-as well as a working parent-she knows that everyone is experiencing angst and frustration. "When I think about extending grace, the following things come to mind," she told me. We must

seek to understand and ask questions before reaching conclusions; assume positive intention and the supposition that people are trying to make things work and giving it their best; use language and messages, particularly in email, to communicate in ways that are clear and kind; and be deliberate about recognizing our own stress and anxiety and not placing that on others with frustration and short-tempered reactions.

3. Build community and foster collegiality.

Kingswood College, a K-12 school in Victoria, Australia, is several months ahead (pandemic-wise) of schools in the United States. The school made an initial shift to remote learning, then transitioned to socially distanced, face-to-face instruction, and then-when COVID-19 infection rates began to rise again-returned to distance learning. Adam Somes, head of Kingswood's middle school, told me that staff members continue to take the disruptions in stride, a "rare feat" he attributes to "communication, connection, and community."

Administrators at his school are transparent and honest and have a "we can do this" attitude, he explains. They consistently underscore the importance of optimism, resilience, and being nimble. The entire community-staff and their families, students, and caregivers-participates in online wellness activities such as fitness bingo. The leadership team also reaches out weekly to each staff member to check on their welfare.

Bellview Elementary School in Pensacola, Florida, is taking a similarly intentional approach this year. The school's staff recently turned over by 30 percent, in part because of challenges specific to COVID-19, says Nathan Maynard, coauthor of Hacking School Discipline (Times 10 Publications, 2019). Maynard has been working with Bellview's principal to improve school culture during the pandemic, he told me over the phone, by incorporating more relationship-building strategies among colleagues. For example, he says, "Staff are doing virtual and in-person check-in circles to support each other, to integrate new staff, and to proactively address any issues that might arise."

Schools can also use a "tap in/tap out" system like the one at Fall-Hamilton Elementary School in Nashville, Tennessee (Berger, 2018). The principal there adopted the approach to encourage teachers to call on their peers when they need to take a short break or step back from a tense situation. Instead of losing their cool, they can leave the classroom and take a breath while a designated colleague steps in. Educators in virtual environments could design a similar system: They could partner with a teacher who has a different schedule and exchange phone numbers and links to one another's virtual classes.

4. Be specific when naming emotions.

When we're able to label emotions with specificity, we can take steps to manage them. If you simply feel overwhelmed, you might get stuck. But if you know that you're exhausted from worrying all night, or that you're resentful that you're too busy helping others to find time to exercise, you can work to prioritize better sleep and self-care habits.

Once you've pinpointed the feeling or concern, ask yourself, "Does worrying about this help me or get in my way?" Make an effort to extinguish defeatist self-talk. If you're telling yourself "I'm miserable," try reframing that as "I'm sad now." If you're thinking "This is too much for me," try saying, "I can handle tough stuff."

There are four types of grief, and nearly everyone is experiencing two or three of them right now, says psychologist Catherine Steiner-Adair, author of The Big Disconnect (Harper, 2014). In a recent conversation, she explained to me that there is ambiguous grief, "which is free-floating-the loss of summer, the pervasive sense that we've lost so much." The opposite of ambiguous grief is acute grief. "That could be not being able to pay rent or a partner getting furloughed." A third type is anticipatory grief. "What will school be like? How many hours will I be expected to be in a Zoom classroom? How will I manage distance learning with my own children? Will I get in trouble or lose my job if kids don't show up?"

Many individuals are also experiencing moral outrage grief -the fourth type-which is a sadness for what's happening in the country and the world right now. As she explains, "You ask people, "How are you?" and there's this hesitancy [in their response]."

Educators can't vanquish such grief, but as with any emotion, they can "name it to tame it." In other words, they can develop a game plan, whether they reach out to a friend, take a mental health day, or see a therapist.

5. Exercise agency.

It's easy to feel powerless in the face of a pandemic, so focus on what you can do to improve your situation. That could mean reaching out to human resources to inquire about leave or child-care options, contacting an employee assistance program about teletherapy resources, incorporating movement or relaxation practices into your day, or signing up for school or district-sponsored professional development or psychoeducational programs. For example, Christina Connolly, the Montgomery County district's director of psychological services, recently worked with colleagues to create "Waymaking," a set of videos for staff and families covering everything from stress management to the impact of racism on mental health.

If you're working in a school building, you can take steps to mitigate risk, such as wearing a mask and washing your hands. "It's important to remember that SARS-CoV-2 is transmitted via the respiratory tract and largely through lengthy person-to-person interactions," says Tim Lahey, infectious diseases physician and professor of medicine at the University of Vermont Medical Center. "That means you can rank teacher-student interactions along a gradient of risk. A quick pat on the shoulder or tousle of the hair by a teacher standing briefly by the student's side is extremely low risk," he told me, while "interacting face-to-face or close-up for longer periods of time raises the ante."

You can also strive to establish healthy boundaries, such as setting personal policies around when your workday begins and ends, when you turn off the computer, and when you stop returning emails.

6. If you can't fix it, aim for acceptance.

There are many facets of the pandemic that are out of everyone's control. You can't unilaterally determine whether your school-or your child's school-operates virtually or in person. You can't guarantee you'll reach every student, and you can't eradicate tough emotions. In fact, you might feel worse if you try to push your pain away. As Carl Jung famously said, "What you resist persists."

Acceptance doesn't mean that you like the current reality; it just means you stop fighting it. It can take awhile to reach this point, but if you stop trying to fix things you can't change, you can then devote your energy to coping with disappointment and unmet expectations. You might even be able to identify a silver lining-or at least some shades of gray. For instance, virtual learning has given principals an opportunity to focus more on instruction, Sirgo says. "Think about the things that can often be distractions that principals no longer have to do-office referrals, lunch and recess, sub coverage, in-person evening events," she explains. As her district moved through the initial stages of planning a return, "principals found ways to look at the fall diagnostic data, talk with teachers about what they were seeing instructionally, and lead more directed conversations with staff about student learning and well-being."

If acceptance is too lofty a goal, try projecting into the distant future. Researchers at the University of California at Berkeley found that when people can imagine how they'll interpret an upsetting event many years later, they experience less anxiety, sadness, hurt, and anger (Bruehlman-Senecal & Ayduk, 2015). This type of "temporal distancing" can help educators internalize the idea that distressing experiences aren't permanent. You don't want to make rash, long-term decisions because of your passing negative emotions.

Weary But Unwavering

It's not easy to accept uncertainty with patience, let alone tranquility, and it may be difficult to remember why you chose this profession in the midst of so much turmoil, change, insecurity, and self-doubt. And yet, while educators didn't choose to work with children through a screen or from a distance, they are choosing to work tirelessly to reassure, connect, help, and teach. "I'd be lying if I said I am not weary right now," says Tara Christie Kinsey, head of The Hewitt School in New York City. "But when I consider why and for whom I do what I do, I remember what a blessing it is to be an educator, what an honor it is to serve, and what an opportunity we have to shape our world for the better. One child at a time."

References

Berger, T. (2018, February 5). An inside look at trauma-informed practices. Edutopia.

Bruehlman-Senecal, E., & Ayduk, O. (2015). This too shall pass: Temporal distance and the regulation of emotional distress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108(2), 356-375.

Ettman, C. K., Abdalla, S. M., Cohen, G. H., Sampson, L., Vivier, P. M., & Galea, S. (2020). Prevalence of depression symptoms in U.S. adults before and during the COVID-19 pandemic. JAMA Network Open, 3(9).

Kim, T. J., & von dem Knesebeck, O. (2015). Is an insecure job better for health than having no job at all? A systematic review of studies investigating the health-related risks of both job insecurity and unemployment. BMC Public Health, 15, 985.

University College London. (2016, March 29). Uncertainty can cause more stress than inevitable pain: Knowing that there is a small chance of getting a painful electric shock can lead to significantly more stress than knowing that you will definitely be shocked. ScienceDaily.

Endnote

Watch the Montgomery County district's "Waymaking" video series at https://sites.google.com/mcpsmd.net/shriver-counseling/mental-health-supports.

Phyllis L. Fagell ( https://phyllisfagell.com/) is the school counselor at Sheridan School in Washington, D.C., and a therapist at the Chrysalis Group. She is the author of Middle School Matters (Hachette Books, 2019) and a regular columnist for the AMLE Magazine and Kappan. Follow her on Twitter.

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December 2020/January 2021 | Volume 78 | Number 4 Mental Health for Educators Pages 22-26 Phyllis L. Fagell Nearly halfway through an unpredictable school year, educators may find the ambiguity of their working lives as distressing as the tangible losses they're experiencing because of the pandemic.

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Vivek Murthy My experience of loneliness really began in childhood, when, as a student in elementary school, I really struggled with loneliness because I was very shy as a child. Even though I wanted to connect with other kids, it was hard for me to do so.

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Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.

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Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.

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Regulate then Relate then Reason

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The Science of Happiness

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Laura Formentini I received a call from my older son and he told me that my younger son had taken his life.

I was in rural Ethiopia. My sons were both in the Western United States. So I had to drop everything that I was doing, and, you know, I had to fly from the rural areas to Addis Ababa, to Dublin, from Dublin to Boston. I was stranded in Boston. And then eventually I went to Denver.

I was like, I don't know how I'm going to do this. I really have no idea how I'm going to do this because it was incredibly challenging. And I was by myself. Imagine something like that happening to you or to anybody, and then you're by yourself. I was just shaking like a leaf.

Anyway, my tour guide, she said, Hey, I have a friend who could be with you for today.

And his name is Assefa and he is just like this amazing human and being, you know, sort of like an angel who materialized out of the blue.

Dacher Keltner It was through her connection with Assefa that Laura Foreman Teenie found the strength to make that difficult trip from Ethiopia to Denver that day.

I'm Dacher Keltner. And this is the science of happiness. Laura is a child welfare activist and mother, a photographer, and an animal conservationist who lives in Southern Italy.

She reached out to us to share her experience with Asseffa and we suggested a way that she could express her. Thanks to him. She joins us today to tell us how it went. Later in the show, we'll explore how gratitude can help us cope with stress and anxiety. Laura, thank you for joining us.

Laura Formentini Thank you so much for having me.

Dacher Keltner I'm going to start by saying, I'm sorry about the loss of your son. I recently lost my younger brother and I know how painful loss like that can be.

Laura Formentini Thank you, Dacher.

Dacher Keltner So could you tell us how you ended up meeting Assefa?

Laura Formentini I found myself in Ethiopia and it was in 2019. And I was in the rural area of the North of Ethiopia.

So I was there for just about 10 days. And then what happened was I got, I received a call from my older son and he told me that my younger son had taken his life.

My tour guide, she said, "Hey, I have a friend who could be with you for today. And he was also a tour guide in the travel business." And, uh, his name is, that was, his name is, Assefa.

He held my hand right away and he kept saying, "You are okay. Laura, you are okay. Your son is now. okay. Do not worry he's with God. Don't worry. He's fine."

And then he was smiling to me. It was just like, "I'll be with you all day long. I'll be up with you all day long." And I knew that his wife, he told me his wife was pregnant.

She was due any time. And I said, "Your wife needs you at home." And he said, "Are you joking? I'm staying with you until you leave." And my flight wasn't leaving until the evening So he stayed with me all day. He took me to lunch. He paid for lunch. He took me to the, um, to a couple of hours, archeological museums and knowing that I loved archeology.

And he was just with me all day long. And that helped me to, you know, to travel the way to the States by myself. I was like, it's almost like he couldn't come with me physically, but his energy had been so amazing and so good. And so sweet, that he just stayed with me.

Dacher Keltner And that's when you met him?

Laura Formentini Yeah.

Assefa And you recently wrote him a gratitude letter to thank him for his support?

Laura Formentini Yea.

Dacher Keltner For this activity, you write someone, a letter explaining how they've made a difference in your life and why you're grateful to them. And then if possible you read it to them. It's arguably one of the strongest happiness practices out in the scientific literature, it's been linked to greater life satisfaction, reduced symptoms of depression, and you recorded yourself, reading your letter to a safer over a phone call.

If you don't mind, we'd like to play a clip of it now.

Laura Formentini Sure.

Dacher Keltner Let's listen.

Laura Formentini Dear brother, Assefa. I wanted to let you know that when I think about you, I think of a big red heart vibrating and shimmering on its edges. I remember your hand holding my hand, which was shaking that day. I remember your smile throughout the day.

It's like I had known you forever. You reminded me of the joy of true connection. And to this day, I have not felt the incredible distance between us after I left. It's like you have always been there for me, just like that day. How incredible that your wife delivered your baby just one week after my son had passed away.

It's like the departure of one person and the arrival of another to remind us how the cycle of life is in constant motion. And we have just come to a full circle. I remember how kind you were to me as you held my hand and kept whispering to me. "Are you okay, sister? Everything is okay. Your son is now okay."

And you kept me company all day until my flight back to the United States, knowing that your pregnant wife was waiting for you at home and you were out and about with me, a complete stranger that day. I still remember me asking you at the Addis Ababa airport just before my departure. "Why did you do all of this for me? You don't even know me."

And you answered I didn't do anything special, Laura. It was my human responsibility. Thank you, dear brother. Although I know that we may never see each other again, although I really hope so know that you will always be with me because when I think about you, I think of a big red heart vibrating and shimmering on its edges.

Your sister, Laura.

Dacher Keltner Wow.And how did he respond?

Laura Formentini He said, wow, that's incredible.

Assefa I don't believe it's. Yeah, I'd say everyday, this is the, the responsibility of human beings. We can feel the depth of each one. If you think as human beings, we can feel the pains. Thank you, Laura.

Laura Formentini I would have never made it without you that day. And, um, that's why I think that it's important to remind us that it's, uh, you know, we are really all brothers and sisters, so thank you again. And I'm glad that I have you as a brother.

Assefa Yeah, you are my sister, too.

Dacher Keltner It's striking to me how often shared suffering brings about this sense of responsibility and oneness and family like relations. And I remember I was lucky enough to be on a panel with his holiness, the Dalai Lama. And coming out of Tibetan Buddhism, and a lot of strains of Buddhas. And the idea that humans are compassionate is just soon they don't debate it. They don't think it's weird. And he said that, and then I'm a scientist, and I was like, my God, you know, here's this deep tradition saying we have this vain to human nature, that scientists overlook. And it seems like you had a very similar experience with Assefa, and in his talking about just., this instinctual human responsibility we have. Tell me about tha, like, how did that draw upon your own experience and then change your sense of responsibility in the world?

Laura Formentini He really expanded on the idea of being purposeful, but even in the little things. It's basically about kindness. It's being kind to each other and, um, you know, dropping whatever you're doing, to help someone. And that's, that's what he did. It's just so basic, you know, human responsibility is something so basic. It's just being kind.

You might do something that for you is small for someone else, but for them it might be huge. It's exactly what happened to me with him. He didn't think it was doing anything special, but for me it was life-changing because number one, I would have never made it without him. And two, he really, it just changed my perspective on the world, in general, we are all good inside. There is good inside each one of us. It's a matter of realizing that and then practicing that goodness, everyday little acts of kindness. You never knew it could be a domino effect because you know, you never know how much you are actually helping someone else. You might think, oh, I'm not doing anything special.

But to them it might mean the world. It's exactly what happened to me.

Dacher Keltner James Fowler down at UC San Diego did a really nice job of like giving somebody the opportunity to give to a stranger then that stranger can give to another stranger and on down the line., and you find that just like you're saying, like your gifts last several iterations beyond the person that you interact with. So it's a, a web of gratitude in a way.

What was it like for you to really sort of practice this deep gratitude for Assefa, after losing your son?

Laura Formentini He was sort of like my own mirror because he was saying to me, you would do the same thing for me.

And I said, yeah, that's true. I feel that it's important when something like this happens to really realize that there are so many people out there going through exactly where you're going through. And, you're not alone. There are so many people who are grieving and everybody grieves differently. But I would say one way to really understand why you're going through it is to put yourself in someone else's shoes, those who are going through the same thing.

Dacher Keltner In the scientific literature, we know that this kind of practicing gratitude helps you with stress and it helps you savor the moment, and, you sleep better or you get along better with the people you care about, but I feel like you're talking about something deeper and it's so interesting to think about in the hardest of experiences like losing a son, you practice this gratitude. What did it give you? What did it teach you in, in sharing this with Asseffa?

Laura Formentini It replenished me. It made me feel so happy to read it to him, but also I was doing it for myself. Because I realized that, you know, it was, it was a beautiful thing to give to him because he had given to me, so I was giving it to him, but I was, I was also doing it for myself to really express everything that I had inside.

And it came out, and once, once you write a gratitude letter, it's just like, you feel so much lighter and so much better. And, instead of keeping all your feelings inside and so much better to just write it and read it to the person you're doing it for yourself, as well. It's just an incredible experience.

Dacher Keltner Well, Laura, I wanted to thank you for your remarkable work in the world. I want to thank you for taking the time to do the gratitude practice. And I really want to thank you for reflecting upon loss. Uh, we so often turn away from it or snuff it or whatever the case may be and I think that your thoughts about it are lasting and full of wisdom for us all to appreciate.

So thank you for being on our show.

Laura Formentini Thank you, Dacher. Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Dacher Keltner A lot of people assume that gratitude is just for the good times in our lives, but researchers have been exploring how it might be helpful in tough times as well. For example, when people are seeking therapy because of stress or anxiety.

Joel Wong We were trying to see if the addition of a gratitude writing intervention would boost the effects of psychotherapy.

Dacher Keltner More on the science of gratitude up next.

Gratitude has been shown to be good for everything from the condition of our heart, to how well we sleep.

Joel Wong But that's not something that's ever been tested in a psychotherapy setting. And so that's basically what we set out to do, which is to test the benefits of a gratitude letter-writing intervention for clients who were seeking therapy.

Dacher Keltner Joel Wong is a professor of counseling psychology at Indiana University. His team recruited people seeking support for stress and anxiety and divided them into three groups. The first one just did therapy only. The second group also did an expressive writing practice.

Joel Wong Expressive writing is basically writing about your deepest thoughts and feelings about stressful experiences, which should not be difficult for people seeking therapy because you know, it's, you're stressed out. Of course, you have things to write about, right?

Dacher Keltner The third group wrote one gratitude letter a week for three weeks. Joel and his colleagues measured everyone's mental health states before, during, and after this study.

Joel Wong We were trying to see if the addition of a gratitude writing intervention would boost the effects of psychotherapy on mental health. And that's exactly what we found.

Dacher Keltner The people who wrote weekly gratitude letters, reported feeling less stressed than the other groups. And that continued for both one month and three months down the line. To find out why, the researchers use special software to analyze the letters, tracking the percentage of words that evoke positive or negative emotions.

Joel was surprised to find that it was the percentage of negative emotions written down rather than the positive ones that explained the outcome.

Joel Wong In other words, why did the gratitude writers have better mental health at the end of one month and three months? The reason is not because of, the use a positive emotion words. The reason was because they were using a no or a percentage of negative emotion, words, and down letters.

This suggests that gratitude turns our attention away from the negative, by displacing it with positive thoughts.

When you're focused on what you're grateful for your mind, doesn't have enough capacity to be dwelling and ruminating on negative stuff.

So there's a very important lesson to learn from this, which is that, at least for the therapy clients, simply writing in itself did not produce any additional benefits. If you wrote about stressful things, it didn't really help you much. It's when you write a letter of gratitude that made it helpful.

Dacher Keltner Gratitude, isn't a panacea or a cure-all.

If you're really struggling, feeling depressed or anxious, please talk with someone about seeking purpose, additional help.

I'm Dacher Keltner. Thanks for joining us on the Science of Happiness. If you would like to try the gratitude letter practice, visit our greater good inaction website@ggiadotberkeley.edu. The Science of Happiness is a co-production of UC Berkeley's greater good science center and PRX, our senior producers is Shuka Kalantari. Production assistance from Jennie Cataldo and Ben Manilla of BMP Audio. Our associate producer is Haley Gray. Our executive producer is Jane Park. Our editor in chief is Jason Marsh.

We've got a new book out on the science of gratitude, featuring many of our past guests like comedian W. Kamau Bell and psychologist, Sara Algoe. Learn more at greater good.berkeley.edu/gratitudeproject.

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Laura Formentini I received a call from my older son and he told me that my younger son had taken his life. I was in rural Ethiopia. My sons were both in the Western United States.

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How to Structure Your Day to Accomplish More

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How to Structure Your Day to Accomplish More

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Even though there is a light at the end of the pandemic tunnel, chronic stress still rules the day. Those of us lucky enough to be employed are working harder than ever; an analysis of 3.1 million people's emails found that lockdown increased the length of the average workday by almost an hour.

Widespread uncertainty makes it hard for us to concentrate. Lack of focus makes everything take longer, and so we work more but accomplish less. Fortunately, there are more effective strategies for coping with anxiety and exhaustion than trying to convince ourselves we know what is coming.

Ironically, one of those strategies is planning. Don't get me wrong; I do think the plans we make today are often useless tomorrow. But even though our plans might turn out to be unworkable, the planning process is indispensable. Planning creates context and provides a structure for our daily activities. It gives us a solid foundation on which to adapt to a new and unplanned future.

Here's how to make a plan that will help you find more focus, flow, and productivity in the coming year.

Step 1: Let your priorities lead

When the future is uncertain, we need our priorities to be blazingly obvious to us all the time. Otherwise, we spin our wheels on tasks that might be priorities for others but not for us, or that might be easy to do but not that important. Without clear priorities, we often become overwhelmed by all there is to do. To avoid that, we need to decide on our top priorities and then spend 95% of our time doing only those activities, saying "no" to everything else as much as possible.

To give you an idea of how this worked for me, here are my top five priorities, in order of importance:

Maintaining my own health and happiness, so that I don't get so depleted or overwhelmed that I compromise my other priorities.

Nurturing my family, home, and closest friendships.

Writing (and research) about work redesign.

Coaching and teaching (including speaking engagements).

Giving back to my many communities.

Spending 95% of my time on these top priorities leaves only about five hours a week for other things-the other 5%, the things that aren't real priorities, but often need to be done. Most days, my 5% time is mostly spent answering emails and doing administrative work that is unrelated to the above priorities.

Step 2: Create structure for yourself

One important key to both productivity and stability in this crazy age is to create structure for yourself. If you're working from home but missing your office (or even your commute), you might be missing the structure that the workplace used to provide: a clear start and end to the workday, built-in breaks, time to socialize. If the daily routine you've fallen into during the pandemic isn't working for you, create one that does.

Design your "ideal day." Begin by designing your ideal day (you can use this free template). All the habits I'm trying to start or keep repeat daily on my schedule: reading, exercising, meditating, tidying up-even measuring my habits. Some of my routine tasks occur only once a week, but they automatically repeat on my schedule, as well. (For example, every Friday after lunch I do some bookkeeping, and so that is already in my planner template.)

Before I set up my ideal day, I was constantly negotiating with myself about when I'd do the things I needed to do. Should I do my daily planning before or after breakfast? Should I shower at lunch to break up the day? Before the pandemic, I probably never would have considered these things-I had existing routines that worked. Now, though, the possibilities are endless.

Making decisions, even little bitty ones like these, taxes the part of our brain that we need to focus, and uses up the energy we need for more important things. And these days, focus and energy are often in short supply. Better to decide once.

Even if your work is less flexible and a large part of your day is already spoken for, it can still help to create clear morning and bedtime routines. Try to build activities into your schedule that tend to go undone unless you explicitly make time for them, like exercise and a pause to unwind.

Pre-deciding when we will do routine tasks also helps us establish new habits and shortens our to-do list. For years, I had repetitive tasks like "deposit checks," "clean out email," and "plan meals for the week" as recurring to-dos. This needlessly lengthened my task list, adding to my sense of overwhelm. Now, because I know when I will do these recurring tasks, I don't need to write them down or nag myself to get them done.

Step 3: Use time-blocking and task-batching

I do keep online calendars and task lists, but I prefer to plan out each day on paper each morning. That may seem redundant, but it helps me see clearly what my priorities for the day are, and it gives me the structure that I need to keep myself focused on them.

When you're planning a particular day, start by adding meetings and appointments to your schedule. This will help you see how much time you have for projects and tasks. Next, block off time for your highest-priority tasks. This is a time management technique called time-blocking.

Next, designate time on your calendar for smaller types of tasks. What I call "action items" are tasks that take about 20 minutes each; if I have an open hour, I know I can knock three of these off my list. "Quick tasks" take five minutes or so; if I've got a half hour, I can do about five. Grouping similar tasks in this way is called "task-batching," and it creates additional efficiencies.

Now, relax

Have you ever woken up worrying about an unfinished project, an email you forgot to send, or a meeting you didn't have a chance to schedule? Lingering to-do items drain our energy and interrupt our focus (and, sometimes, our sleep). It turns out, we just need to tell our brains when we will do what we need to do so they don't nag us.

Researchers used to think that this low-level worrying about unfinished tasks was our unconscious mind trying to get things done by reminding us of what we still needed to do. The belief was that the reminders-or distracting thoughts and worries-would persist until the task was complete.

But research suggests that simply making a plan to deal with an unfinished task makes a huge difference in our ability to focus. It's not so much about knowing what needs to be done as it is about deciding when to do it. When we don't know when or how we will finish the things on our task lists, our thoughts will typically wander from our current task to our undone tasks; this is called the "Zeigarnik effect." As it turns out, our unconscious mind isn't necessarily nagging us to do that undone task right now, but rather to make a plan for when we will get it done.

To handle this, you can either schedule a task on your calendar, or designate it as an action item or quick task. This is all, it seems, that our brain needs to let something go.

When we don't have a structure, blazingly obvious priorities, and a plan, distractions inevitably take over. Other people (and email) dictate our to-do lists. So instead of keeping a neverending to-do list of things you really (really!) hope to accomplish in a given day or week, this simple system can help you start each day with a concrete plan for what you'll work on and when.

You don't have to constantly make choices about what to concentrate on: Just follow your schedule.

Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?

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How to Structure Your Day to Accomplish More

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Even though there is a light at the end of the pandemic tunnel, chronic stress still rules the day. Those of us lucky enough to be employed are working harder than ever; an analysis of 3.1 million people's emails found that lockdown increased the length of the average workday by almost an hour.

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I was feeling the weight of 2020 last week when I went to visit Ms. K, a patient who had a particularly rough year. "This is the year I lost my leg in the spring, and now I am losing this battle with lung cancer all on top of the COVID-19 stress," she said. "But I learned something this year, too. I learned we all need each other, and we all need love." As she said this, her eyes brightened and the heaviness that pervaded the room lifted, and I felt a warmth in my chest.

"Yes, you are right, and I need to keep that in mind, Ms. K," I said. "We have learned some important things this year."

As a doctor at Alta Bates Summit Medical Center in Oakland, California, I understand why people are saying 2020 was a world turned upside down or a "dumpster fire." The public health system seemed to have failed us, causing much suffering among our patients and staff; as a result of the pandemic, death tolls climbed and the economy tanked, while people sat home feeling isolated.

Taking my cue from Ms. K, though, I have been trying instead to see 2020 as a world revealed. A world where we have a newfound appreciation for relationships and community. A world much more fragile than we had understood it to be. A world that needs our tender attention.

Understanding this is a start, but with so much tough stuff still weighing us down, how do we begin to move forward? Leaning on the research in social and cognitive sciences, I try to remain optimistic. It is in our DNA to care about the people in front of us and our community. What we need now are concrete ways to first foster our own well-being and then our relationships with others.

Here are some ideas that people have embraced in 2020 that we can all try to hold on to moving forward in 2021.

1. Humility

We were humbled scientifically by the coronavirus and socially by our threatened institutions. The only honest response is to set our egos aside, drop our preconceptions, and see what led to this series of failures.

As it turns out, being humbled can be a good thing. There is a rich body of research to suggest that humility first makes us question our assumptions, which often leads to listening to other people's ideas and adopting " a more other-oriented and less self-oriented outlook." Gratitude and a greater sense of connection with others follow. Humility is also a good first step in self-compassion; when we have a modest view of ourselves, we see our flaws more easily and can judge ourselves less harshly. This can be very helpful in dealing with personal setbacks.

Some research suggests that humility can be cultivated. But more than ever, many people seem unwilling to question their own beliefs and entertain other perspectives. For myself and my colleagues, as clinicians to whom people look for answers, humility typically is not something we spend time developing.

Given that we have all had a big slice of humble pie in 2020, now is a good time to truly work at incorporating humility into our way of being. And it starts with quieting our inner voices that want to be right and deeply listening. For a month now, I have been challenging my belief that I have the answers, both at work and in my personal life. With a humbler approach to my interactions with others, better conversations ensued with better outcomes for all involved. Give it a try!

2. Compassion

Across the world, COVID-19 wrought tremendous suffering, and people felt the pull of compassion, which is defined as sensing suffering and moving to address it. Witnessing images of compassion on social media moved us, whether this was people visiting isolated neighbors or cheering for health care workers. For those of us lucky enough to be providing health care, we were inspired by our colleagues moving toward danger to express their compassion.

In order to feel compassion, one must witness the suffering of another-but that witnessing can be stressful, so we are sometimes inclined to avoid it. A simple acknowledgement to ourselves, by thinking, "This person is suffering," is a humanizing act. While it doesn't stop the suffering, it tempers our negative emotions as we lose the tightness that denial entails.

For health care providers like me, compassion is foundational in how we move through our world, and it should be our greatest source of inspiration and energy. But all too often, we rush to the diagnosis and the treatment and miss this crucial step of generating compassion. Instead, take a moment to open your heart and quiet your mind when you first see your patient; their story will inevitably provoke compassion that will enliven you in the moment and give you positive energy going forward.

3. Awe

Awe is the feeling we get in the presence of something vast or beautiful that challenges our understanding of the world. It is something we depend on to keep life fresh. In 2020, those vacations to "awesome" places like New York City or the Grand Canyon didn't happen, and this contributed to the flat feeling many people experienced. Awe makes us feel more alive, but, importantly, it also makes us more humble, more generous, and less self-centered.

This year, a new study demonstrated that awe can be cultivated, and we don't need to travel the world to find it. A group of seniors were invited to go on a brisk exercise walk or a walk where they were told to move more slowly but look carefully at their surroundings for wonder and beauty. Those on the "awe walk" reported a greater increase in positive emotions and social connection than the exercise group.

So, if we are seeking awe, we can find it nearby if we take the time to look for it. People can be a great source of awe, too. With some attention, health care providers can find awe in the beauty of our patients' struggles; this can be another way our work can energize and inspire us. For the rest of us, while we might not be making that "awesome" trip to Yosemite soon, we can all get filled with awe watching documentaries of inspiring moral or political leaders. I still get goosebumps every time I hear Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a dream" speech!

4. Purpose

A decade of research confirms that a meaningful life or a life well-lived has plenty of joy, but more importantly it involves a sense of purpose. While we are all a little joy-deficient now, 2020 certainly made up for that with opportunities to live with purpose.

Purpose is an abiding intention to achieve a long-term goal that is personally meaningful and makes a positive mark on the world. Wearing a mask, staying home in the spring and over the holidays, seeing patients despite the risks: This is living with purpose. Many of us have found purpose in teaching our kids or caring for neighbors or in political and social activism. For those of us in health care, we are leaders who work daily to promote the health of our patients and community. Never has the importance of this work been clearer.

But living with purpose requires stating our purpose. When the purposeful work we do becomes routine, we can easily fail to appreciate it. I have made friends with a former patient and every week he texts me, "Have a beautiful day on purpose!" After each text, I feel energized and approach my work with a more open heart. We all need reminders of why we do what we do, and what larger values it serves. If the pandemic has given you a deeper sense of what's important, now is a good time to think about how you can serve those interests moving forward.

5. Love

As we know now, one of the few bright sides of 2020 was the greater sense of shared humanity that we developed-and with that, a greater sense of concern for others and an awareness of our need for connection.

We shouldn't miss the opportunity to build upon this. For the sake of everyone's health, we must use our influence in our families, communities, and exam rooms to advocate for what people now intuit-that an open-hearted, connected world is a healthier one. We need to talk about love.

I am not talking about romantic love but love as defined by researcher Barbara Fredrickson: a moment-to-moment experience of warm, mutual caring that we feel with any person-even strangers-in everyday interactions. What she also calls (more dryly) "shared positivity" creates a mutual sense of well-being. According to her research, our brains are wired to look for this love and if we have this mindset, we can see the world as a source of expanding connectedness and well-being.

As health care providers, we can make a significant impact on the health of our patients and communities if we let our innate concern and affection show, talk about the health benefits of love, and encourage patients and staff to " spread the love." I encourage everyone to see all our interactions with people-from those at the market to those with our friends and colleagues-as a sacred opportunity to open our hearts and create a more loving world.

It is amazing how close you can feel with a person seeing them for a few minutes a day during a time of crisis. Each day I saw Ms. K in the hospital, we had amazing, pithy little conversations. When she was feeling stronger and ready to go home, she said, "Thank you, Dr. Hass, for all you have done, and I'm glad you are almost through your 2020."

"Well, we have all suffered, but we have become a little wiser as a result," I replied. Then I took her hand, gently rubbed her back, and looked into her eyes for a moment. We both teared up as I said, "Along with medical care, I will try to make sure everyone leaves our med center with a little love, too!"

Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?

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I was feeling the weight of 2020 last week when I went to visit Ms. K, a patient who had a particularly rough year. "This is the year I lost my leg in the spring, and now I am losing this battle with lung cancer all on top of the COVID-19 stress," she said.

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Responding to Trauma in Your Classroom

Bad Behavior or Reacting to Trauma?

Think of a student who challenges you. Have you observed any of these behaviors in that student?

Excessive anger

Unusual startle reactions

Loss of appetite

Extreme fatigue

Physical or verbal aggression

Regular tardiness or absence from class

Perfectionistic, controlling or anxious behavior

Difficulty concentrating

Frequent headaches or stomachaches

Low self-confidence

Irritability

Clinginess

Trouble making friends

Self-harm or suicidal ideation

Hoarding

Risky behaviors (including drug or alcohol abuse or sexual acting out)

Panic attacks

Extreme self-reliance

Running away

Defiance

Alienation from peers

If you've observed even some of these behaviors (or other troubling symptoms), you may have a student who is directly or indirectly experiencing trauma. Trauma can be defined as the reaction to a shocking or painful event or series of negative events. Some traumas require immediate intervention and court-mandated reporting; others go by unmarked. Regardless of whether or not you are aware of the details, there are things you can do to mitigate the effects of trauma for individual students and for all students in your classroom.
Source: Mental Health Connection of Tarrant County
What Causes Trauma?

Trauma affects the ways individuals feel, think and behave. It influences self-perception as well as beliefs about other people and the world.

Though this list is not exhaustive, traumatic experiences can include:

Medical crises

Accidents or injuries (like a house fire or car collision that threatens the student's safety)

Bullying or harassment

Family separation (due to incarceration, deployment, divorce, foster placement or death)

Natural disaster

Abuse (emotional, physical or sexual)

Neglect

Observation of domestic, community or school violence

Substance abuse

Mental illness

Terrorism and war

Instability due to being unhoused

Poverty

Overt discrimination or constant microaggressions

Refugee or undocumented status

More students may suffer trauma-or suffer more trauma-than you can see or know. Trauma is difficult to assess and identify; it's also specific to the individual. An event that may traumatize one person may not traumatize another person. Moreover, the same event may lead to different trauma symptoms in different people.
Source: The National Child Traumatic Stress Network
Responding to Trauma

Proactively applying trauma-informed classroom strategies benefits all students. Students respond positively when educators get to know their individual circumstances, affirm their identities and cultivate empathy in the classroom. Here are some ideas to consider incorporating in your teaching practice:

Establish social and emotional safety in your classroom.

Social and emotional safety is the cornerstone of positive classroom outcomes. Research shows that students need to feel both physically and emotionally safe to learn. Students experiencing trauma, including bias, bullying and social isolation, are more likely to feel unsafe.
Strategies

Classroom contracts

Explicit anti-bullying or community-building curricula

Timely interventions in conflicts and hurtful exchanges

Teaching and modeling of empathy and active listening skills

Create a behavior-management plan that focuses on positive reinforcement.

Discipline and behavior management are central to classroom culture and often present unique challenges for students responding to traumatic events or experiences. Foster compassion for and among your students. Focus on praising students for appropriate classroom behavior, not on punishment.
Strategies

Implement student-generated agreements and contracts

Adopt "zero indifference" (NOT zero-tolerance) policies

Seek out training in restorative justice techniques

Explore stress-management strategies to diffuse tense situations and help students process feelings in the moment

Give students opportunities to demonstrate their strengths

Increase your self-awareness and trauma competency.

Increase your knowledge about trauma and how it may manifest for your students. Remember, students respond to trauma in different ways, and their responses may be influenced by cultural traditions, religious beliefs or familial relationships. Connect with students and their families to identify resources and services that can inform how best to support students who experience trauma.
Strategies

Seek professional development on working with specific identity groups

Share support resources with other educators

Connect with community organizations

Engage in ongoing self-assessment and reflection on your trauma responsiveness

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Trauma can have significant and lasting effects on students. This PD Café will help you learn how to recognize the signs of trauma, better understand the causes of trauma, and take steps to establish social and emotional safety in your classroom.

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Elena Aguilar

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December 2020/January 2021 | Volume 78 | Number 4
Mental Health for Educators Pages 84-85

Elena Aguilar

It's real, but it can be overcome.

In my 10th year of teaching, I sank into a period of burnout that led me to contemplate leaving education. I felt overwhelmed by the challenges facing my middle school students. I doubted my skills and abilities; in fact, the more I learned about teaching, the clearer I became about the ways in which I wasn't meeting my students' needs. I worked 60-hour weeks, but no matter how much I worked, I didn't see the impact I wanted to have. I distanced myself from colleagues, lost my passion for planning lessons, and was short-tempered with students.

From my earliest days of teaching, I'd picked up that there were few things worse than becoming a burned-out teacher. Veteran teachers I worked alongside described burnout as a state from which there was no return. As I recognized emotions in myself that I associated with burnout-disengagement, hopelessness, cynicism-I felt shame. I didn't tell anyone what I was feeling, which made the depression worse.

Burnout is basically depression. That's the first and perhaps most important thing to know. It's a distinct form of depression characterized by fatigue, frustration, dissatisfaction, and apathy. As many as half of all workers in high-stress jobs experience some form of burnout in their career. In education, burnout is most common when teachers don't see the results they aspire to create.

The second thing to know is that burnout can be prevented. One way to do that is to normalize emotions. Recognize that it's normal for you and others to have emotions and to express them. During my first months as a teacher, I internalized an unspoken belief that it was unprofessional to have or express emotions at work. No matter how hard things were, successful teachers forged on. I saw that no matter what happened-student deaths, the school flooding with sewage-my stoic principal marched on with business, never acknowledging her own feelings or others'. The message I got was to toughen up and leave emotions at the door.

However, we are all human beings-and human beings have emotions. Being in the service profession and spending hours with young people means teachers might experience a wide range of feelings more frequently than people in other fields. And suppressing emotions doesn't work. Emotions find a way to come out and be heard, and sometimes they manifest as burnout.

Listening to Emotions

Emotions deserve attention because they are sources of wisdom and information-not just because we don't want them to become a problem. We should explore our emotions so we can learn from them. When I listened to the emotions that contributed to my burnout, I recognized that I yearned to more clearly see the impact I had on students. I knew I had some impact, but I couldn't see it well. I also ached to make an even greater contribution to the field of education.

Imagine what would be possible if, during team meetings, check-ins with administrators, and coaching sessions, teachers were invited to talk about their emotions. What if we recognized that it's normal to go through periods of questioning your impact as a teacher, losing confidence, or feeling heartbroken by what children experience? What if we removed the shame of having strong emotions and talked about them together? What if we saw emotions as resources, rather than things to manage and suppress?

Paths to Recovery

Here's the third thing to know about burnout: You can recover from it. In some cases, burnout will become the kind of depression that merits professional help-and school leaders and coaches should be aware of common indicators of depression so they can recognize it in themselves and others. But the burnout that's most rampant among educators is the kind we can prevent and return from. Part of that process involves normalizing, embracing, and sharing emotions.

We can also prevent and rebound from burnout by creating specific, measurable goals. One reason many teachers feel perpetually unsatisfied is because the task at hand is overwhelming. All teachers want to have a positive impact on kids, but being responsible for the academic, social, and emotional well-being of dozens of young people is a tremendous task.

Teachers need guidance on how to narrow and clarify expectations for themselves so they're set up for success. Yes, we aim to bring every student up to grade level and meet the needs of every child, but we also need to be able to say, "At the end of this year, I'll feel successful if ___." Without defining specific terms of success, we risk feeling perpetually disappointed with ourselves. Burnout is characterized by a feeling of never being able to do enough, always falling short. If we define what is "enough," what's worthy of celebration, we can avoid or recover from burnout.

During that 10th year when I hit some all-time lows of my professional life, my principal registered what I was experiencing. When I finally shared that I was going to take a coaching job at another school, she said, "It seems like you've been unhappy for a while."

I wish she'd invited me to talk with her about what I was feeling. A half-hour conversation would have been very helpful; I would have felt seen, cared for, and less alone. But my principal was among those who held that conversations about feelings weren't professional. I now often encourage administrators to approach teachers who seem sad or burned out and ask them, "What's going on? It seems like you're going through a hard time."

My low-point experience led me to coaching. As I slogged through that year of burnout, I became drawn to working with adults, which I found energizing. It's good to realize that a burned-out teacher might become more effective in another role. The spark can return, as mine did.

Not a Place of No Return

Whether you're feeling burned out yourself or have staff members who seem so, consider the actions discussed here. Normalize and talk about emotions; proactively identify what "success" might look like; and consider alternative ways a struggling teacher could contribute to education. Most of all, remember: Burnout is a place one can return from.

Endnote

Salzberg, S. (2013). Real happiness at work. New York: Workman Publishing.

Elena Aguilar is president of Bright Morning Consulting, a sought-after speaker and presenter, and author of many books, including Coaching for Equity (Jossey-Bass, 2020) and The Art of Coaching (Jossey-Bass, 2013). Follow her on Twitter.

KEYWORDS

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The Lowdown on Burnout - Educational Leadership

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December 2020/January 2021 | Volume 78 | Number 4 Mental Health for Educators Pages 84-85 Elena Aguilar It's real, but it can be overcome. In my 10th year of teaching, I sank into a period of burnout that led me to contemplate leaving education. I felt overwhelmed by the challenges facing my middle school students.

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Simple Strategy to Helping Children Process Emotions

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Simple Strategy to Helping Children Process Emotions

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Time Required

As little as 10 minutes. This practice can be done when you notice your children experiencing any kind of strong emotion.

How to Do It

When our children feel anger, sadness, or other intense emotions, we might be inclined to distract or redirect them away from their discomfort. But this isn't always the best strategy. Research on attachment-the unique loving bond between children and their caregivers-suggests that a key part of developing secure and loving relationships is spending time with your children to support their experiences with their emotions.

Practice these three steps to help strengthen your bond with your children:

Heighten awareness: When helping children recognize their emotions, show your curiosity about their experience rather than imposing feelings on them. For instance, say, "I'm wondering if you're upset?" rather than declaring, "You're upset." Be both humble and inquisitive. This approach shows your children that you acknowledge that their emotional experience is personal and that you are open to understanding them.

Name it: Encourage your children to talk about what they are feeling, then take a moment to reflect what they've told you and give a possible name to the emotion. You can say, "It sounds like you're feeling sad," or "It sounds like you're frustrated." By giving them an opportunity to put their internal experiences into words, you help them cultivate a bigger emotion vocabulary and show them that expression is one way to regulate difficult feelings.

Explore together: Validate your children's emotional experience. This can be as simple as saying, "That sounds like it would be frustrating." Help them make sense of any aspects of their experience that are confusing to them, such as mixed emotions. For example, kids can feel happy a friend won an award and, at the same time, sad because they wanted the award. Show them you understand by matching their emotions with your voice, face, and touch. You can share a smile if your child is excited or hold their hand if they are nervous. These non-verbal expressions can help your children recognize and make sense of their own emotions.

Why You Should Try It

Securely attached children tend to have higher self-esteem, show better self-control, and perform better in school. Children who experience more loving relationships with their parents also tend to be more compassionate and helpful toward others later in life. The empathy, love, kindness, and compassion that your children develop can support them in building positive relationships with others.

Beyond interpersonal relationships, love has lasting benefits for our health and growth-while people who grow up without loving bonds may experience immune system dysfunction and chronic illness.

Why It Works

Children develop secure attachments when they have benefited from a caregiver's enduring love-so much that they " have confidence in the possibility of goodness." In other words, because they have received consistent care, warmth, and sensitivity in the past, they believe that others will respond to their vulnerability with compassion in the future.

In addition, parents who are attuned to their children model caring behavior that their children can embrace and imitate. When parents are responsive to their children's emotions, children learn to become more aware of their own feelings.

The ability to be agile with their emotions allows children to better support others who are in distress because they don't become overwhelmed by other people's pain. With a greater understanding of emotions, securely attached children can empathize more skillfully and, in turn, show care, love, and compassion to others.

Evidence That It Works

Powell, B., Cooper, G., Hoffman, K., & Marvin, B. (2014). The Circle of Security intervention: Enhancing attachment in early parent-child relationships. New York: Guilford Press.

This manual explores concepts used in the Circle of Security intervention, a program for cultivating secure attachments between parents and children. It provides parents a roadmap to observe, identify, reflect on, and respond to their children's core needs, including a secure base from which to explore the world and a safe haven to return to for comfort. The authors offer guidance on how to provide comfort to children by helping them process and understand their own emotions.

Hoffman, K. T., Marvin, R. S., Cooper, G., & Powell, B. (2006). Changing toddlers' and preschoolers' attachment classifications: The Circle of Security intervention. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74, 1017-1026.

Child-caregiver pairs participated in the Circle of Security intervention. The results showed that the intervention was effective in changing children's attachment styles from non-secure to secure attachments.

Andrews, E. (2019). A parenting intervention for middle childhood: An expansion of a Circle of Security intensive individual protocol. The Educational and Developmental Psychologist, 36(1), 27-31.

This case study showed that the Circle of Security intervention previously used with caregiver-child pairs up to preschool age can also be effective with older children.

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A Loving Space for Kids' Emotions (Greater Good in Action)

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As little as 10 minutes. This practice can be done when you notice your children experiencing any kind of strong emotion. When our children feel anger, sadness, or other intense emotions, we might be inclined to distract or redirect them away from their discomfort. But this isn't always the best strategy.

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Making Space:  Teaching after a Traumatic Event

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Making Space:  Teaching after a Traumatic Event

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When traumatic events such as the attack on the U.S. Capitol earlier this month occur, many educators feel compelled to somehow address them in class right away. But sometimes it's better to take a beat to process what has happened and how best to guide your students through it.

On January 6, our country witnessed a mob of violent rioters intent on disrupting Congress as they counted Electoral College votes certifying Joe Biden and Kamala Harris as winners of the 2020 presidential election. While an angry mob of thousands stormed the doors of the U.S. Capitol intent on destruction and insurrection, many of the events were visible through a constant barrage of media to everyone, including our nation's children.

As these events played out, thousands of teachers across the country immediately swooped into problem-solving mode. I witnessed hundreds of posts on various social media channels suggesting that teachers should abandon their plans and teach about the events that occurred in the Capitol. Resources were immediately shared for teachers to teach students after yet another national crisis.

I became instantly uncomfortable with the endless barrage of "teach this tomorrow" messages that I witnessed in real time, mainly because in my 20 years of teaching experience, I've found that teachers sometimes lack the experience and/or knowledge to facilitate these sensitive, complex conversations in their classrooms in a way that mitigates harm. And on January 7, I received more than 2,000 likes for tweeting this: "My students did not want to discuss yesterday's events in class. Please remember that making space sometimes means allowing time to process. It's perfectly OK if that doesn't happen right away."

The Danger of Rushing In

I recall teaching the day after 9/11 when some of the younger teachers in my building enthusiastically played CNN Student News for middle school students and dove into conversations about terrorism and violence the very next day. They did not anticipate the discomfort of some of our Muslim students who faced personal threats outside the classroom and were terrified to engage in group discussions where they had to defend themselves, their identity, and their beliefs. The teachers had not considered this aspect, as it was not part of the hastily constructed lesson plan.

I saw similar results in the wake of a student death by gun violence when novice teachers immediately switched gears and insisted on teaching a unit on gun violence, as though our students were not already living in this reality on a daily basis. Not only were students disengaged, but also they were visibly resistant to having to engage in assignments around lived experiences, assignments that were not meaningful and contributed very little to their emotional needs and their fears around physical and emotional safety.

In the absence of space or norms having been created around discourse, or knowledge about how to engage in complex conversation on issues such as power, privilege, and domestic terrorism, knee-jerk reactions are not teachable moments. They can be harmful, particularly when teachers have not familiarized themselves with issues at hand or even processed the issues on their own, prior to unpacking them with students.

Educator Alex Shevrin Venet cautions against this in her blog. "Sometimes we jump to intellectualize current events without slowing down to consider their emotional impact," she writes. I believe that we should make space for students to express their emotions, ask questions, and critically analyze these events. Making space often means that teachers allow time for students-as well as themselves-to process events as they consider the best ways to approach them in class.

Contemplating these considerations is particularly critical this year, as many of us remain physically distant from students. We must think deeply about how we approach traumatic events with our students. How can we help students process right now? What does this look like in our virtual and hybrid classroom spaces?

Making Space Through Journaling

Facing History's guide about responding to the situation at the U.S. Capitol stresses the importance of student reflection. It reminds us that "[t]he integration of head, heart, and ethics is always important to learning, and it's particularly crucial when students are considering contentious and troubling news." Journaling can be an effective way to encourage students to process their emotions while balancing the facts as they unfold.

I plan to introduce optional, ongoing journal prompts slowly over the next few weeks inviting students to explore media coverage, their emotional reactions, and their belief systems around the events of Jan. 6. These reflections will be private unless students choose to share their thoughts with others during our time together. I'll also use a variety of media such as student-friendly articles, photographs, and media clips to encourage them to engage in rigorous thought, reflection, and dialogue.

Making Space Through Student Choice

Students should also have choices in how they express learning and understanding. This is even more crucial when helping students to process traumatic events. Student choice creates a sense of autonomy when grappling to understand complex events. Educator Jane Martin wrote a guide, " Responding to Traumatic Events in Remote Settings," that helps create the space for engaging while honoring the fact that students will be in different emotional places as they seek to process their own feelings, questions, and experiences. It calls on teachers to acknowledge the traumatic event and then allow students to send a private message indicating if they would like to discuss the situation with fellow students or have independent work as a distraction, need time off-line, or would just like to proceed with class as usual. Then breakout rooms can be assigned depending on the students' needs.

Our nation's students are watching our responses to critical events as they unfold, particularly events that are both violent and polarizing, such as the rioting in the nation's capital on January 6. Although the urge to immediately fix, teach, or somehow solve problems for our students may be strong, we must hold space for reflection, honest dialogue, and questions as they arise. Instead of simply reacting by teaching a hastily put-together lesson, we must take the time to listen, learn, and reflect with our students. These are the truly valuable lessons we should strive to teach, even when we don't have all the answers.

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When traumatic events such as the attack on the U.S. Capitol earlier this month occur, many educators feel compelled to somehow address them in class right away. But sometimes it's better to take a beat to process what has happened and how best to guide your students through it.

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PBS KIDS Talk About FULL EPISODE | Race & Racism | PBS KIDS

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How To Help Students Feel a Sense of Belonging During the Pandemic

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How To Help Students Feel a Sense of Belonging During the Pandemic

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Do I belong at this school? How students respond to this question is closely linked to whether they succeed and thrive.

According to our research, students who feel a strong sense of belonging are more engaged and more likely to join school organizations, take on research opportunities, and make connections with peers, faculty, and staff. Not only that, students who feel like they belong in school earn higher grades and opt into and succeed in more difficult courses.

When students don't feel like they belong, the opposite is true, and they can become disengaged and disconnected. Feeling a sense of belonging in school is especially important for students from marginalized and stigmatized groups, such as Black, Latino, Native, first-generation, and financially stressed students. Because of the long history of exclusion and discriminatory treatment that their groups and families have experienced in the American education system, students from disadvantaged backgrounds have reasons to question whether instructors and peers value, respect, and welcome them.

Belonging can be even harder to foster during the COVID-19 pandemic, with the need for social distancing and remote learning. Indeed, it takes more focused intention and new strategies to support students' sense of belonging given these pandemic challenges. So how can instructors, administrators, and staff cultivate a sense of belonging and connection when so many are teaching online and stretched thin by the pandemic?

Our latest project, called the Student Experience Project, has been helping instructors, administrators, and staff understand the importance of students' feelings of belonging in class-and how to cultivate them, despite social distance. This past fall, over 100 faculty across six U.S. universities experimented with some of the most impactful, research-based teaching practices that help students feel a sense of belonging in class.

Some instructors were teaching online and others in person-yet all found ways to enact these practices that were authentic to their teaching style and classes. We measured students' psychological experiences in class at various points throughout the term to see whether instructors' practices made a difference, and our results revealed that students' sense of belonging in class increased. Another one of our studies suggests that for marginalized students in particular, attending to students' sense of belonging in school can help them fit in socially and academically and avoid dropping out.

How can teachers and instructors use this knowledge as they plan for the new term? Here are four research-based practices that you can use (and share) to cultivate a strong sense of belonging in your classes in 2021.

1. Normalize challenges to belonging and provide strategies to overcome them

When you explicitly acknowledge the challenges and struggles that can interfere with your students' sense of belonging and normalize their worries and experiences, students feel supported and are more likely to stay engaged and feel that they belong in class.

In the Student Experience Project's focus groups, marginalized students described the stress and isolation of feeling like they did not belong in certain courses. But they also reported how much it meant to them when instructors showed that they cared about their students and built in opportunities for connection.

At the beginning of the term, you can acknowledge to your students that this academic year has been a challenge for everyone-including for you-and that you understand the greater work and home responsibilities students may be juggling as they continue their studies. You can also note that you know that social distancing has made it more difficult to connect with and get to know each other.

However, you can assure students that you value connection and belonging-and that you know it is important for their success; therefore, you have built in ways throughout the term to help them build those connections, both with each other and with you. This might include group work (online or socially distanced in-person), drop-in or office hours, and supports that are available outside the course.

It's particularly helpful to share times when you questioned your own belonging-whether it was something that happened during the pandemic, or something from the more distant past, perhaps when you were a student yourself. Learning that successful adults, such as their instructors, have also questioned their sense of belonging is reassuring to students and helps them see that people succeed despite such challenges.

Normalizing these experiences and sharing some strategies that you have found useful for overcoming these challenges shore up students' sense of belonging. Give students time at the beginning of the term to identify their challenges to belonging and to brainstorm and share with each other the strategies they've used to address those challenges.

2. Make a plan to check in with students

Even during normal circumstances, simple check-in messages from their instructors communicate care and connection and mean a lot to students. This could be an email early on in the term asking students how they are feeling about the course and reiterating resources like office hours that are available to them, or using online polling sites during class to invite students to respond anonymously and then discuss what they show. In this time of greater uncertainty and challenge, these check-in messages are even more important because they make students feel seen and valued despite being socially distanced.

Throughout the term, you can plan for and schedule simple messages that check in with students, remind them that you care for their well-being and that you are there to support their learning and development, and encourage them to talk with you if they need support navigating challenges that are interfering with their learning.
Even if students do not respond directly to instructors' check-in messages, the vast majority interpret these messages as supportive (and may even share that with you later).

One instructor in the Student Experience Project posted an announcement inviting students to email her. She provided some starter questions: How was the term going? What shows were they watching? What activities were keeping them busy outside of class? Approximately 25% of students actually sent emails, and she responded to each one with brief encouragement. But just knowing they were invited to send emails appeared to benefit students-students specifically mentioned it in course evaluations at the end of the term and felt it made an impact.

3. Make a plan to give wise feedback when returning each assessment

Many students begin to question their belonging in class (and in school) when they receive critical feedback on tests or assignments. In remote learning, students may not have ever met you in person and, therefore, they might not fully trust your feedback or interpret it in the most constructive light. So it's especially important to make sure your feedback doesn't undermine their sense of belonging and self-efficacy.

How can you do that, while still giving actionable, critical feedback? Research shows that when instructors explicitly communicate to students that they are giving critical feedback because (a) they have high standards and (b) they believe that students can meet those standards, it helps students understand the reason for the feedback and reassures them that their instructor believes in their abilities to rise to the occasion.

If you want to shore up students' sense of belonging, make a plan for how you will deliver wise feedback when you return the first big assessment of the term. And then consider how you will continue to do so throughout the term so that all students continue to feel that you are invested in their learning and that you believe in their ability to be successful.

For example, instructors in the Student Experience Project have implemented exam wrappers, wherein they provide wise feedback to students after the first big test or graded project and have students complete a reflection activity about how that assessment went and what they can improve for the next one. Before the next assessment, instructors remind students of their reflections, and some instructors even share themes that emerge across different reflections to highlight common points of difficulty and strategies students can use to improve.

4. Shout out your favorite mistake

When students feel uncertain about whether they belong in school and vulnerable to critical feedback, they are loath to make mistakes that might further undermine their belonging in the eyes of their instructors or their peers. To instructors, this can feel like students are disengaged and unwilling to take intellectual risks.

However, instructors know that making mistakes is key to students' growth and development. Making mistakes is how we grow. How can you create a culture that celebrates (rather than shames) mistakes?

My favorite mistake is a practice whereby you regularly review and publicly celebrate a mistake (or mistakes) from tests or assessments that are your "favorites" because they reveal something about students' development or thought processes, or because they are a common mistake that students can correct and learn from. During class, when instructors celebrate mistakes as opportunities to learn (rather than things to be avoided), students take more risks in the classroom.

In some of the classes that have made "favorite mistakes" a regular practice, we have seen students compete and get excited about being featured in "favorite mistakes" because the instructor has made mistake-making fun and rewarding. In these classrooms, mistake-making is welcomed and it shores up students' sense of belonging rather than undermining it.

In our experience, and from hearing from instructors who tried these strategies during the pandemic term of fall 2020, this approach not only improves the student experience and contributes to more equitable academic outcomes, but is also rewarding for instructors. Instructors told us they felt more connected to their students, found meaning in their contributions toward equity, and had more fun than they anticipated with pandemic teaching because they used their creativity. As such, fostering belonging in the classroom is a "win" for everyone-especially during a pandemic.

Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?

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How to Help Students Feel a Sense of Belonging During the Pandemic

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Do I belong at this school? How students respond to this question is closely linked to whether they succeed and thrive. According to our research, students who feel a strong sense of belonging are more engaged and more likely to join school organizations, take on research opportunities, and make connections with peers, faculty, and staff.

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CASEL

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For young white students, explorations of fair and unfair, just and unjust, can go a long way in advancing anti-racist white identity. Purposeful use of literature and basic study of white anti-racists are among the key ways educators can advance such aims.Teaching Tolerance presents four short biographies for early grades classrooms, with activity ideas.

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These robust, ready-to-use classroom lessons offer breadth and depth, spanning essential social justice topics and reinforcing critical social emotional learning skills.

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Responding to the Insurrection at the US Capitol

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This Teaching Idea is designed to help guide an initial classroom reflection on the January 6, 2021, insurrection at the US Capitol.

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Caring for Students in the Wake of a Traumatic News Event

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Caring for Students in the Wake of a Traumatic News Event

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As pro-Trump extremists stormed into the U.S. Capitol Wednesday, middle school teacher Shawn Griffin traded messages with her peers about how they would help their students process the unprecedented event.

"We are all like 'Oh my gosh. What are we going to do tomorrow?'" said Griffin, who teaches 8th grade English in Fairfax County, Va., about 20 miles from Capitol Hill, who spoke after school had concluded for the day.

Protests turned to violence in the nation's capital as rioters interrupted a joint session of Congress held to certify the presidential election.

The resulting news footage would likely trouble some children as much as it troubled the adults around them, educators said. And even students who don't fully understand the events may feel a sense of instability as the adults in their lives react to current events.

How should teachers address those emotions so that students can continue learning, especially in a school environment already disrupted by the COVID-19 crisis?

Experts on social-emotional learning say it's crucial for educators to help students identify their own feelings, to understand the effects adults have on students' emotional stability, and to recognize teachable moments on tough news days.

"There are kids who are [going to be] legitimately coming in with different perspectives that are associated with different feelings," said Marc Brackett, a psychologist and director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. "What's important is not to tell people that they shouldn't be angry or they can't be fearful. There's no judgment about the emotion ... What you can try to unpack is the reasons for their feelings and the best way to manage those feelings."

Investigate students' emotions, without assumptions

Some school districts addressed the news Wednesday evening. Denver, for example, said it would make counseling services available to teachers and students.

It's key for educators not to assume they know how their students are feeling and responding to events. Rather than interpreting behavior, like a student who seems distracted or agitated, teachers should "investigate feelings," Brackett said. One student may look angry when they are actually scared, and a student may seem defiant and disengaged when they are actually overwhelmed.

The Yale Center developed a social-emotional learning program called RULER, which teaches students to do daily check-ins, identifying the energy level and pleasantness of their emotions on a color-coded "mood meter."

Some teachers check in by allowing students to slap on various emojis posted outside of their doors as they walk into class, or by making eye contact and greeting students one-by-one to see how they respond. Teachers have also adapted check-in strategies for remote environments by asking students to share animated GIFs or key words or to use social-emotional learning apps.

Teachers who perform such check-ins regularly will have a ready tool to gauge how their students are responding to big events, like political unrest, natural disaster, or uncertainty in their own lives.

Provide students space to share

Griffin, the Virginia teacher, planned to give her students opportunities to share their responses to Wednesday's events and how their own backgrounds and experiences may have shaped their perspectives.

"At my school, we have a lot of parents who work for the federal government," she said. "I teach everything from honors English students who read the newspaper every day to students who are [newly arrived] English-language learners, who in fact may have recently come from a conflict zone. The thing I can do for them that will be most helpful is just to allow them to process what is happening."

As a coronavirus precaution, Griffin has taught remotely this school year. While whole-class discussions are sometimes difficult in digital environments, writing offers a valuable tool for helping students share, she said.

Griffin plans to use writing prompts, like asking students to respond to a photo of events at the Capitol. She also uses technology that allows her students to share written responses to questions anonymously. Through a Padlet, for example, they can answer questions and share insights their peers might not have considered.

Another key strategy? Good old-fashioned patience, which Griffin has employed as students process the ongoing effects of the coronavirus pandemic.

"Some students are going to be on five minutes early. As soon as they know that I'm there, they're going to send me a chat," Griffin said. "But a lot of other ones are going to kind of sit on the perimeter and wait to engage."

Giving students space for vulnerability helps them develop voice in their writing and makes them feel safer taking risks, which is key for learning, she said.

Recognize how adult behavior impacts children

Even children who haven't followed the news or are too young to understand it may absorb the stress of their parents or teachers through a phenomenon called "emotional contagion," Brackett said.

A child may feel stressed or distracted through observing and mimicking the behavior of an adult, but they may not realize the source of those emotions, he said.

In stressful times, teachers may want to take a moment to gather their own emotions before stepping into a classroom or logging into a remote-learning platform.

And adults should understand that how parents and family members are feeling about finances, the news, or the pandemic can spill over into their children's lives, teachers said.

Sarah Plumitallo, who teaches English-language learners at an elementary school in Woodbridge, Va., said she is accustomed to discussing news events with her students, but she will use more caution this week because many of their parents work in Washington.

"It's a different experience of teaching in-the-moment history because it's personal," she said.

Seize teachable moments in the wake of difficult events

Educators shouldn't be afraid of difficult conversations that can follow big news events, said David Adams, director of strategy at The Urban Assembly, a group of public middle and high schools in New York City.

Adams helped develop the schools' approach to social-emotional learning, which emphasizes "perspective taking" and helping students express and understand differing opinions.

Some students may be frustrated comparing the response of law enforcement at the Capitol to police actions during racial justice protests this summer, educators said. And some may be concerned about their role in improving national divisions as they grow into adulthood.

"The legacy that our forefathers left us was a system of government that emphasized cooperation," Adams said. "The only way to make that system of government work is for people to have faith in each other."

Social-emotional learning strategies, like exercises that help students talk through conflicts and academic assignments that help them unpack others' viewpoints, can be helpful in times of stress or difficulty, he said.

"Our young people should feel empowered," Adams said.

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Caring for Students in the Wake of a Traumatic News Event

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As pro-Trump extremists stormed into the U.S. Capitol Wednesday, middle school teacher Shawn Griffin traded messages with her peers about how they would help their students process the unprecedented event. "We are all like 'Oh my gosh.

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SEL lessons and more (elementary)

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Award winning educational materials like worksheets, games, lesson plans and activities designed to help kids succeed. Start for free now!

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How to Talk to Kids about the Riots at the US Capitol and other difficult issues.

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How to Talk to Kids about the Riots at the US Capitol and other difficult issues.

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KQED provides public radio, television, and independent reporting on issues that matter to the Bay Area. We're the NPR and PBS member station for Northern California.

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SEL - Remote Learning Resources

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As much of the world came to a screeching halt in March, we all began trying to find our way through the disruption. While schools across the nation closed, teachers and school administrators led the charge in discovering how to adapt their classrooms to serve students from afar.

During this time of global disruption, our partner schools have found that SEL skills are more important than ever. Move This World has compiled the most useful resources for these circumstances from our expansive digital library, and we are making them available to all educators for free. School administrators and teachers are welcome to download these powerful free social emotional learning tools to share with students and parents.

Information about Social Emotional Learning

Activities that can be done offline

Valuable tips for working and learning at home

Writing and activity prompts

Family activity suggestions

Self-care resources

Safe methods for navigating negative feelings

Pep talk and positive feeling prompts

Breathing and mindfulness tutorials

Vocabulary resources for fuller expression

How Social Emotional Learning Helps At Home

Facilitates parent-child discussion

Encourages families to enjoy time together

Teaches families a common language around emotions

Explores empathy among family members

Supports parent involvement in education

Nurtures relaxation, self care, and mindfulness

Urges physical activity and movement

Download the free resources below to help your students prioritize their social and emotional needs and navigate the many feelings they are experiencing during these challenging times.

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Supporting Mental Health COVID-19 Archives - Move This World

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As much of the world came to a screeching halt in March, we all began trying to find our way through the disruption. While schools across the nation closed, teachers and school administrators led the charge in discovering how to adapt their classrooms to serve students from afar.

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Resources for Staff Wellness, Student Wellness, SEL PD, COVID Safety, Grief & Loss

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Ways to Support Students Who Experience Trauma

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Ways to Support Students Who Experience Trauma

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Edutopia is a free source of information, inspiration, and practical strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12 education. We are published by the George Lucas Educational Foundation, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization.

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by Harvard EASEL Lab

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Developed by Harvard University's Ecological Approaches to Social Emotional Learning ( EASEL) Laboratory, kernels are specific activities or strategies that are commonly used by research-based programs to support the growth and development of social and emotional skills and competencies.

Kernels have been developed for grades K-6 and include a variety of activity types and instructional methods, such as games, routines, and storytelling. Each kernel includes adaptations and extension activities, as well as grade level differentiations when applicable.

Drawing from EASEL's content analysis of 25 leading SEL programs, kernels have been categorized into the following constructs: cognitive, emotional, interpersonal, character, and mindset.

Brain Power (Cognitive Skills)

The ability to direct thoughts and actions toward achieving goals.

Cognitive skills help students when they are faced with everyday tasks that require self-control, concentration, planning, problem solving, coordination, or conscious choices between different options. These skills include:

The ability to control impulses

Keep track of changing information over short periods of time

Sustain attention and ignore distractions

Switch attention between tasks when needed

Feelings Power (Emotional Skills)

The ability to identify, express, and regulate emotions, as well as understand the emotions of others.

Emotional skills are critical to positive social interactions and building relationships with peers and adults. It is difficult for students to have positive relationships with others without the ability to recognize and regulate emotions and to understand others' perspectives, needs, or feelings. These skills include:

Emotion knowledge and expression

Emotion and behavior regulation

Perspective-taking

People Power (Interpersonal Skills)

The ability to interpret others' behavior, effectively navigate social situations, and interact positively with peers and adults.

Interpersonal skills help students work cooperatively on a team, solve social problems, and coexist peacefully with others. This is especially important in the classroom where students are learning and working with others, as well as for students' ability to sustain positive relationships with others. These skills include:

The ability to understand social cues

Resolve conflicts with peers

Promote and carry out prosocial (kind, helpful) actions and behaviors

Citizen Power (Character)

A set of skills, values, and habits that help guide one's actions.

Character skills guide the choices students make, directly impacting their school and home communities. These skills are essential to functioning in a democratic society, and include the following:

Making ethical judgements

Being tolerant and accepting of differences

Following through on responsibilities, civic engagement, and community appreciation, among others

Attitude Power (Mindset)

A set of attitudes and beliefs about oneself and others.

Mindset skills support students' abilities to learn, grow, and overcome obstacles. These skills allow students to believe in their own ability to improve, and to persevere through challenging situations. Mindset skills include:

Expressing confidence in oneself and one's ability to improve

Identifying positive traits in oneself and others

Approaching challenging situations with optimism and positivity

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SEL Kernels™ | Greater Good In Education

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Developed by Harvard University's Ecological Approaches to Social Emotional Learning ( EASEL) Laboratory, kernels are specific activities or strategies that are commonly used by research-based programs to support the growth and development of social and emotional skills and competencies.

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You searched for brain | Greater Good In Education

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Our Commitment to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

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By Dr. Will Henson

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash

A recent study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry examined over 100 factors related to depression that people could change or modify in their lives to help minimize the impact of depression. The results would be interesting even under normal circumstances, but the COVID-19 pandemic makes the findings especially salient since we know that during times of societal upheaval, depression rates increase.

So what did the study find?

First: the most important thing people can do to combat depression is to maintain strong social connections. Social connectedness is essential in preventing and combating depression. While it's harder than ever to maintain during the pandemic, it's also more important than ever. Regular phone calls with friends and family; using technology for video chats, or group texts; or finding ways to safely meet in person are all ways to preserve those important relationships in our lives.

Second: two of the factors most closely associated with depression were daytime napping and TV-watching. The authors note these categories may be proxies for general inactivity. It's easier than ever now to spend a lot of time sitting in front of the computer, but it's also more important than ever to get yourself, your students, and your family up and moving!

The takeaway is that our collective mental health is reliant upon sustaining close relationships with those around us and also moving our bodies. If we can be sure to incorporate those two important goals into our lives, we have a good chance of mitigating the long term impact of the COVID-19 crisis.

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How to Beat Back Depression During COVID-19

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By Dr. Will Henson Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash A recent study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry examined over 100 factors related to depression that people could change or modify in their lives to help minimize the impact of depression. The results would be interesting even under

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Teacher, Interrupted:  Leaning into Social-Emotional Learning Amid the COVID-19 Crisis

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Teacher, Interrupted:  Leaning into Social-Emotional Learning Amid the COVID-19 Crisis

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Dear educators,

There was life before COVID-19, and there will be life after.

We didn't choose to have our schools and colleges closed; our carefully constructed routines halted in their tracks; our field trips, concerts, sporting events, fundraisers and finals all canceled. We didn't expect this and had little warning.

We weren't ready for this either. Or were we?

At this very moment, there are so many questions swirling through our own heads and the education ecosystem across the globe. What impact will this have on student learning, on families, on the economy-now and in the long-term? How will we support students who rely on school for meals or the stability that their classroom provides? How will our students without access to computers or technology continue to learn? What will this do to our school and campus communities? How will this impact our school's funding, our careers?

And then there's the uncertainty around when teachers and students will be allowed to return to school-and what school will be like when we do.

As psychologists, we at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence are concerned about everyone's emotional state. How will students and educators cope with life being turned upside down so quickly?

Right now our media feeds are being inundated with anecdotes of our nation's parents jumping on the homeschooling and digital learning bandwagons. They are at the mercy of the information available to them and the technological tools their children and households may have access to. Districts and colleges across the nation are requiring educators to provide plans and digital resources, despite their varied levels of knowledge about and support for which instructional technologies are most effective for whom, how and under what conditions. All of this is rapidly evolving with a finish line that gets pushed back daily.

This is not a snow day. It's not a holiday break. It's a crisis.

So what can we do to support ourselves and our students in getting through these difficult times? We need to look to social and emotional learning (SEL) for evidence-based practices to help us now and to support us when we eventually return to school.

SEL is for everyone. It's especially critical for students with the greatest needs-the ones who will be severely impacted by the psychosocial and fiscal effects of this pandemic. But it's also for teachers and students in the most well-resourced districts and institutions.

The crisis around COVID-19 is leaving an indelible footprint on the hearts and minds of multiple generations of children and adults-even our youngest ones who are not yet old enough to realize it. The impact and ripple effects across our collective livelihoods is likely too vast to comprehend.

It's scary. But it's not hopeless.

Now is when we need to apply everything we've learned about SEL. Recognizing your emotions and leveraging the science of SEL is more important now than ever. SEL skills are real skills that can support us in managing the roller coaster of emotions we will be having over the coming days and months. For many of us it's dealing with daily uncertainty and new ways of interacting socially.

Be Cognizant of Stress and Its Effects

Fear manifests in our actions, including well-intentioned, research-based mandates to engage in social distancing with our world and all the people in it, including our own families. In times of high stress, negative emotions like fear, anxiety and panic diminish our mental resources and ability to think clearly, make healthy decisions and behave prosocially and productively.

Stress, in moderate doses, is healthy. It's our body's way of responding to events that threaten or challenge us. But chronic stress impairs our ability to function well and impacts the quality of our relationships. Navigating uncontrollable, unpredictable, ambiguous situations like the new coronavirus, in addition to being confronted with many new demands, is challenging and for many of us amounts to chronic stress.

As educators, practicing social distancing during a pandemic while implementing digital learning with your students-in some cases, for the first time-is overwhelming in itself. Then add juggling your own family and their evolving physical, social and emotional demands while bracing for the unknown, and it becomes exhausting, if not impossible.

These intense and seemingly insurmountable demands can make us feel insecure and inadequate. In school, safety is both physical and psychological. Clorox wipes, toilet paper and social distancing are only going to get you so far in the promotion of your safety. We must also ensure psychological safety for ourselves, for our students and for our families. SEL can support us here, too.

The RULER Approach

Briefly, SEL is the teaching of an interrelated set of cognitive, affective and behavioral competencies that underscore our capacity to learn, develop and maintain mutually supportive relationships, and be both physically and psychologically healthy. The field of SEL is replete with programs and approaches, which support schools in embedding five large dimensions into teaching and learning. These include self-awareness, self-management, social-awareness, relationship skills and responsible decision making.

At the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, we use the power of emotions to create a healthier, more equitable, productive and compassionate society, today and for future generations. Our approach to SEL, the RULER Approach, provides tools and resources grounded in the theory of emotional intelligence to promote the psychosocial health and well-being of educators and their students and parents.

RULER is an acronym for the components and process of emotional intelligence, including:

Recognizing emotions in self and others,

Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions,

Labeling emotions accurately,

Expressing emotions appropriately, and

Regulating emotions effectively.

These skills can help us navigate this uncharted territory in our socially-distanced world and do our part to control the imprint it leaves on the mental health and well-being of our students and school communities. You can find additional resources here from our center to specifically support your well-being and manage your anxiety during this sensitive time.

Routine Reminders and Checks

You can make choices every day to support yourself, your students and your families. First, check in with how you are feeling a few times per day. Avoid judging your own and others' emotions. From an emotional intelligence perspective, all emotions are information. Accept them all. They are information to be attended to, not denied.

Be kind to yourself and flexible (as permitted) with your schedule. Look for easy and small ways to bring yourself and your loved ones joy. Make breakfast a different way. Take creative pictures from different angles. Find a new way to organize your closet. Call old friends and family members to check-in. Try a new exercise routine at home.

There also are things you can monitor carefully, including your media consumption. Digital platforms are pretty incredible at enabling us to connect with people in a socially distant world. We have perhaps never been more prepared to practice social distancing as we are today. But keep in mind there are over two decades of research correlating social media usage with loneliness, depression and unhealthy behaviors including addiction. After using technology, ask yourself this question: Is this helping me feel greater well-being and connection, or is it making me feel more isolated? Find the "tech" routine that works for you and your family. And leverage resources and expertise across networks for support.

If the thought of being home for a couple of weeks or months-or returning back to school-is overwhelming, take a meta-moment. Try to imagine your best self-visualize a positive image of yourself, who you want to be and how you want to be seen and experienced by your family and students. And in each of your interactions, whether face-to-face at home or when connecting with others through technology, try to be that person for your students, for your families, for your community.

While the world is turned on its head, we have the opportunity to leverage the power of emotional intelligence to keep our feet on the ground and our minds directed toward building the future that we want for our students and ourselves. We can't control what has happened, but we can control how we respond to what is happening. Give yourself and everyone around you the permission to feel all emotions. It starts and ends with self- and social-compassion. Lean into SEL.
Christina Cipriano, Ph.D., Ed.M., is the Director of Research at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and a research scientist at the Child Study Center at Yale University. Follow her on Twitter @drchriscip.
Marc Brackett, Ph.D., is the Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Child Study Center at Yale University. He's also on the board of directors for CASEL and the author of the new book Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive.

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Teacher, Interrupted: Leaning into Social-Emotional Learning Amid the COVID-19 Crisis - EdSurge News

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Dear educators, There was life before COVID-19, and there will be life after. We didn't choose to have our schools and colleges closed; our carefully constructed routines halted in their tracks; our field trips, concerts, sporting events, fundraisers and finals all canceled. We didn't expect this and had little warning.

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Teachers are Anxious and Overwhelmed.  They Need SEL Now More Than Ever.

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Teachers are Anxious and Overwhelmed.  They Need SEL Now More Than Ever.

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At the end of March, our team at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, along with our colleagues at the Collaborative for Social Emotional and Academic Learning, known as CASEL, launched a survey to unpack the emotional lives of teachers during the COVID-19 crisis.

In the span of just three days, over 5,000 U.S. teachers responded to the survey. We asked them to describe, in their own words, the three most frequent emotions they felt each day.

The five most-mentioned feelings among all teachers were: anxious, fearful, worried, overwhelmed and sad. Anxiety, by far, was the most frequently mentioned emotion.

The reasons educators gave for these stress-related feelings could be divided into two buckets. The first is mostly personal, including a general fear that they or someone in their family would contract COVID-19, the new coronavirus. The second pertains to their stress around managing their own and their families' needs while simultaneously working full-time from home and adapting to new technologies for teaching.

Once distance learning had gone into effect, we heard from one educator who shared:

Given the unexpected new demands our educators are facing, we might assume that how teachers are feeling now is entirely different from the emotions they were experiencing before the pandemic. But is it?

In 2017, our center conducted a similar survey on teachers' emotions. A national sample of over 5,000 educators answered the same questions about how they were feeling.

Back then, the top five emotions were: frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed, tired and happy. The primary source of their frustration and stress pertained to not feeling supported by their administration around challenges related to meeting all of their students' learning needs, high-stakes testing, an ever-changing curriculum and work/life balance.

Our research findings are echoed across a growing body of research on teachers' stress and burnout.

In one study, 85 percent of teachers reported that work-life imbalance was affecting their ability to teach. Other research has shown that at least 30 percent of teachers leave the profession within their first five years of teaching. Like our research, these studies found that the general causes of teacher stress and burnout are related to a lack of strong leadership and a negative climate, as well as increased job demands, especially around testing, addressing challenging student behaviors, a lack of autonomy and decision-making power, and limited-to-no training in social and emotional learning (SEL) to support educators' and students' emotional needs.

So, before the pandemic, America's teachers were already burning out. Add in new expectations of becoming distance learning experts to support uninterrupted learning for all their students and caring for the ever-evolving demands of their families, and it's no surprise that 95 percent of the feelings they reported recently are rooted in anxiety.

We can't control what is happening to us and around us, but we can control how we respond to it.

Emotions Matter

An anonymous teacher who filled out our most recent survey described the balancing act like this:

At the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, we study how emotions drive effective teaching and learning, the decisions educators make, classroom and school climate, and educator well-being. We assert that educators' emotions matter for five primary reasons:

Emotions matter for attention, memory and learning. Positive emotions like joy and curiosity harness attention and promote greater engagement. Emotions like anxiety and fear, especially when prolonged, disrupt concentration and interfere with thinking. Chronic stress, especially when poorly managed, can result in the persistent activation of the sympathetic nervous system and the release of stress hormones like cortisol. Prolonged release of this and other neurochemicals impacts brain structures associated with executive functioning and memory, diminishing our ability to be effective educators and undermining student learning.

Emotions matter for decision-making. When we're overwhelmed and feeling scared and stressed, the areas of our brains responsible for wise decision-making also can become "hijacked." In contrast, the experience of more positive states like joy and interest tend to help people evaluate individuals, places and events more favorably compared to people experiencing more unpleasant emotions. Pleasant emotions also have been shown to enhance mental flexibility and creativity, which are key to navigating the novel and evolving demands of living through a pandemic.

Emotions matter for relationships. How we feel and how we interpret the feelings of others sends signals for other people to either approach or avoid us. Teachers who express anxiety or frustration (e.g. in their facial expressions, body language, vocal tone or behavior) are likely to alienate students, which can impact students' sense of safety in the classroom-and likely at home in a virtual learning environment-thereby having a negative influence on learning. Further, dysregulated emotions can undermine healthy relationships between teachers and parents. For most students, a successful distance learning experience will require a solid partnership between teachers and families.

Emotions matter for health and well-being. How we feel influences our bodies, including physical and mental health. Stress is associated with increased levels of cortisol, which has been shown to lead to both physical and mental health challenges, including depression and weight gain. Both the ability to regulate unpleasant emotions and the experience of more pleasant emotions have been shown to have health benefits, including fostering greater resilience during and after traumatic events.

Emotions matter for performance. Chronic stress among teachers is linked to decreases in teacher motivation and engagement, both of which lead to burnout. Teachers who are burnt out have poorer relationships with students and are also less likely to be positive role models for healthy self-regulation-for their students and their families. It's no surprise that teachers who are burnt out are more likely to leave the profession, which impacts student learning and puts a huge drain on schools.

You get the picture: When educators answer the question about how they feel at school-or, in our most recent study, as an at-home educator-we learn they spend a big part of their workday in a pretty dark place.

Research we and others have conducted has shown two possible protective factors for teachers' emotional well-being. First, teachers with more developed emotion skills tend to report less burnout and greater job satisfaction. These skills include the ability to recognize emotions accurately, understand their causes and consequences, label them precisely, express them comfortably and regulate them effectively. But the challenge is that most teachers have not received a formal education in emotion skills.

Second, teachers who work in a school with an administrator with more developed emotion skills tend to experience fewer negative emotions and more positive emotions. These teachers also are likely to have better-quality relationships with their students. When students have stronger connections with their teachers, they, in turn, are more engaged and committed to learning; they're also more willing to take risks and persist in the face of difficulty.

We need a greater focus on teachers' health and well-being now, so they can thrive through this pandemic and be psychologically ready to return to school after this has passed.

Supporting Educators' Well-Being

We know how anxious teachers (and, really, everyone else) are feeling right now. But have we thought about how we want to feel?

Previously, we asked teachers how they want to feel at school, and they've answered loud and clear. A few of the top hoped-for emotions were: happy, inspired, valued, supported, effective and respected.

The more sensitive we can be to our educators' emotional needs today, the better we'll be able to support them now and when schools reopen. The space between how we feel and how we want to feel presents an opportunity to work together to improve the emotional climate of our homes and schools. The emotional climate is the feelings and emotions a learning space evokes; that space includes both the physical one and the learning climate that is evoked through the interactions between and among educators and students. This can be applied to traditional school settings and to a virtual one.

We need to understand how our teachers want to feel, again, and then support them with what they'll need to experience these feelings.

In the same survey we conducted at the end of March, we asked teachers to share some reflections about what they need to have greater emotional balance. Responses included time to adjust to the new normal of online learning and ways to make virtual learning fun and engaging. Teachers also expressed a strong need for honesty, respect, kindness, flexibility and patience from their school administrators. Further, they requested more realistic expectations, including boundaries around working around the clock. Among the top requests were strategies to support their own and their students' wellness and resilience.

Building a Charter

Putting our emotional needs in writing has a way of making them real for everyone. It acts as a reminder for those times when we might feel anxious or frustrated or any other uncomfortable feeling. It also serves as a contract between ourselves and our colleagues (and even students and families) to help during moments when we are anything but calm and considerate.

As part of RULER, our center's approach to SEL, thousands of schools across the nation have gone through the process of creating an "Emotional Intelligence Charter" with their faculty and staff with positive results.

The process of building a charter or agreement requires us to be vulnerable, and that can be hard, especially in times like these. And some educators are somewhat self-conscious and apprehensive about the process of asking colleagues how they want to feel. It can be scary. Often, how we want to feel is an indicator of what hasn't been working at our schools. But we've found that when schools have the courage to ask, the benefits outweigh the risks.

Specifically, a charter reflects the agreed-upon feelings and behaviors of the members of a learning community. Here, we describe the process of building a faculty and staff charter. The same process can be applied to the classroom or home environment.

It starts with a deceptively simple question: How do we want to feel as a faculty/staff? A principal or group of teachers can pose the question to the faculty and staff at their school. Once everyone shares their top three or four hoped-for feelings, the goal is to narrow them all down to a "top five" list reflective of the entire faculty.

The second question is: What do we need to do for everyone to feel this way? Here, faculty and staff share specific ideas that would support them in experiencing each of the feelings. The goal is to come up with two or three observable behaviors that are realistic and attainable for each feeling. For example, in order for teachers to feel supported around distance learning, what exactly will everyone agree to do differently so everyone feels supported? If teachers want to feel more valued, what are the specific things schools can do? Perhaps everyone can agree to respond to virtual inquiries in a timely manner.

Once the five feelings and related behaviors are compiled, the charter can be created and distributed to each member of the faculty and staff. In this virtual world of education, be creative about ways to disseminate it to everyone. If your school or district uses a learning management system, perhaps the charter can be "public" there.

Importantly, the charter should be a living document-it will evolve as your learning community does throughout the pandemic. Consider weekly reflections and opportunities for teachers to share ideas based on their hoped-for feelings. For example, if teachers want to feel more engaged, perhaps create opportunities for them to share their best virtual lesson of the week and why it worked so well. Even weekly quotations that remind everyone about the desired feelings can help to sustain a positive climate. And when we are all finally able to return to our schools, it will be important to revisit the charter. How we want to feel and what we need to support our health and well-being is fluid.

We are living through a pandemic that most of us could never have imagined. And, as we've shared, our educators are not in the best emotional shape. Today's teachers, counselors and school leaders are experiencing greater anxiety, stress and burnout than ever before. If we just hope for the best, more and more educators will fall by the wayside. Fortunately, an increasing number of schools are seeing the benefits of SEL, not just for students, but for educators' own skill development.

The time has come for all schools to address the missing link in what will help educators' thrive-a greater focus on all adults' health and well-being. If we want our educators to be successful-both personally and professionally-schools must be places that bring out the best in them.
Marc Brackett, Ph.D., (@marcbrackett) is the Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Child Study Center at Yale University. He's also on the board of directors for CASEL and the author of the new book,"Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive." Christina Cipriano, Ph.D., Ed.M., (@drchriscip) is the Director of Research at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a research scientist at the Child Study Center at Yale University.

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Teachers Are Anxious and Overwhelmed. They Need SEL Now More Than Ever. - EdSurge News

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At the end of March, our team at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, along with our colleagues at the Collaborative for Social Emotional and ...

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Short videos for elementary students

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Watch the video to discover the answer to "Do masks really stop the coronavirus?" and don't forget to vote for next week's question!

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As the COVID-19 pandemic spreads, and efforts to "flatten the curve" through physical distancing intensify, many of us find ourselves quarantined at home. The physical isolation and sudden departure from familiar routines can be jarring and disorienting. Settling in for the possibility of an extended shelter-in-place order, I wrote these six "Daily Quarantine Questions" to help me structure my days-and check in with myself, to make sure I'm doing OK. After I shared them on social media, I heard from thousands of people who said that these resonated for them.

Before getting into the questions, I want to recognize that not everyone has the privilege to shelter in place, or to do so safely and with financial security. Health care, grocery, transit, and other essential workers are on the frontline of caring for us, often putting themselves and their families at great risk. Thank you. You deserve not just our gratitude and solidarity, but adequate protective equipment and hazard pay. Many gig and freelance workers like myself, together with small business owners, are suddenly out of work (check out these resources in California). Our unhoused neighbors have nowhere to go. Our incarcerated relatives are also at great risk.

May we remember that it is a privilege to even be safely sheltered at home and asking these questions.

1. What am I grateful for today?

Last month, I heard recently-freed Puerto Rican political prisoner Oscar López Rivera speak at UC Berkeley. Someone asked how he survived 36 years in prison, 12 in solitary confinement. López Rivera responded that every morning he sang Violeta Parra's song (later popularized by Mercedes Sosa) " Gracias a la Vida" (thank you to life). Our incarcerated family have much to teach us about how to survive extended physical and social isolation, including cultivating a daily gratitude practice, even in the most cruel of conditions. What are you grateful for today? Take two minutes every day to make a list. Add to it throughout the day. If you'd like to record your gratitudes online and share them with others, consider using the Greater Good Science Center's online journal, Thnx.4.org.

2. Who am I checking in on, or connecting with, today?

As many have rightly reframed it, it's not social distance we need, but rather social solidarity while we maintain physical distance. Pick three people each day to check in on. Call your grandma. FaceTime your mom. Text your friends (but not your ex!). Check on the neighbors. If you have more to give, the Disability Justice Culture Club is pairing minimally risk-exposed allies with disabled people of color and elders in the San Francisco East Bay who need extra support. Similar mutual-aid networks exist elsewhere.

3. What expectations of "normal" am I letting go of today?

We're facing down a global pandemic. The nightly news is the stuff of nightmares. Whole states are on lockdown. You're suddenly either out of work or working from home while simultaneously running a homeschool for rebellious "coworkers" and frantically disinfecting surfaces. It's OK if you don't get to inbox zero by the end of the workday. It's OK if the kids don't learn anything today, but are still loved and alive by bedtime. Figure out what is actually important to you in this moment and focus on that. Science fiction novelist Octavia Butler, who wrote about resilience and adaptation in dystopian times, tells us, "The only lasting truth is Change." The faster we let go of expectations of "normal," the faster we adapt.

4. How am I getting outside today?

Nature, fresh air, and sunshine are good for our nervous systems. While not all of us may be able to get to the redwoods or the ocean, simply leaving the house is helpful. Can you sit in the sun for 10 minutes? Step outside briefly to see the moon as it rises? Even if you cannot physically get outside, can you open a window for fresh air? Or bring flowers inside?

5. How am I moving my body today?

Crisis heightens fear and anxiety. The more we can shift out of our heads and into our bodies, the more grounded we'll feel. Take a 10-minute walk around the block. Run the stairs in your building. Do five push-ups. If you have limited mobility or fitness, can you roll your ankles in a circle while seated? Massage the tension out of your jaw? Put a hand on your heart to feel its beat?

6. What beauty am I creating, cultivating, or inviting in today?

Beauty is a powerful antidote to despair. Recognizing the beauty in the world and bringing it into our lives is an affirmation of the life that still exists and is worth fighting for. Becoming creators, not just consumers, of culture gives us agency and power. Grace Lee Boggs, the late philosopher and social activist from Detroit, taught us that "a revolution that is based on people exercising creativity in the midst of devastation is one of the great historical contributions of mankind." So, let's write about our lives, draw our dreams, sing our sorrows, plant gardens, cook for our neighbors, build rainwater harvesting systems and compost toilets, repair our clothes, and create culture to survive the hard times wherever and however we can.

Lastly, I want to acknowledge that our disabled and incarcerated loved ones have developed so much of the accumulated wisdom about how to stay physically, mentally, and spiritually well in confined spaces. It is the most historically oppressed people who can teach us how to build networks of mutual aid in the absence of state-provided services. Thank you for your wisdom and leadership. May you stay safe and may we honor your lives.

I hope these questions serve you well in the times ahead. I wrote these for myself based on what I know best serve me when I feel panicked, disconnected, or cooped up. The idea is to ask the questions, but not stress the answers. Life under (and-let's be real-even before) COVID-19 is stressful enough without adding to the to-do list. What you need might be different. What questions would you add to the list?

Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?

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Six Daily Questions to Ask Yourself in Quarantine

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As the COVID-19 pandemic spreads, and efforts to "flatten the curve" through physical distancing intensify, many of us find ourselves quarantined at home. The physical isolation and sudden departure from familiar routines can be jarring and disorienting.

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Rethinking Challenging Kids-Where There's a Skill There's a Way | J. Stuart Ablon | TEDxBeaconStreet

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Free Yoga App

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Down Dog provides a studio-like yoga experience in the comfort of your home.

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Leading Difficult Conversations with Emotional Intelligence

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Leading Difficult Conversations with Emotional Intelligence

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Four Things to Do Every Day for Your Mental Health

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Four Things to Do Every Day for Your Mental Health

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It's a crazy time. Here in the California, we are sheltering-in-place, leaving the house only for essentials like groceries and medical care. And while we're all (appropriately) focused on caring for the physical health of ourselves, our families, our communities, and society at large, our mental, emotional, and social health needs are quickly emerging as profoundly important, as well.

I'm executive director of Open Source Wellness, which brings people together to learn and practice the behaviors that generate human health and well-being. Our core idea is that community is a form of medicine. And while we aren't physically gathering right now, I'm happy to share some of what we have learned for your reflection and personal practice during this time.

Structure in times of chaos

During my first day of graduate school to become a psychologist, a wise, mischievous, provocative professor said to us:

Human suffering is often about freedom and containment. When we have too much containment, we scream for freedom. "Let me be me! I need space! Don't tell me what to do!" But when we have too much freedom, we start to feel adrift. Fearful. Lost in space... and suddenly we are longing for containment. "Hold me close! I need to feel safe!"

My years of work as a therapist, professor, and community member-did I mention that I live in a household of eight adults?-have made the wisdom of this insight so clear to me. Our interpersonal upsets and inner pain are so frequently a form of rebelling against too much containment (" Don't fence me in!") or protesting not enough contact or security (" Where did you GO? ")

What does all of this have to do with a global pandemic, social distancing, and the disruption of everything?

First, our everyday social structures have been altered, and some have even evaporated. These structures normally create connection-in meetings and at the water cooler at work, in class and at the playground at school, at the gym and the coffee shop. They also create distance: We say goodbye to our partners and kids in the morning, and we greet them again in the evening. All of this happens automatically, without much effort on our parts. It's built in to the structure of our society! And while we like to rail against these structures ("Same old, same old, every day"), when they are suddenly removed, people respond in interesting ways.

Some may initially delight in newfound freedom-the removal of constraint. "I can do whatever I want to! Netflix, pajamas, and chocolate all day!" It's delicious-for a moment.

Others might be initially terrified by newly imposed constraints. Children home all day every day. Spouses suddenly inhabiting the same space 24/7. No more trips to the gym, the café, or your friend's house. "I gotta get out of here. I can't breathe!"

Still others are feeling anxiety, or even terror, about the sudden, yawning horizon of solitude. No social events, no classes, no sports...aloneness. "Is anybody out there?"

Whatever your first reaction, most of us are likely feeling the creeping presence of something we typically like to avoid. A feeling, a relationship, a life challenge that is neatly tucked away into the background, until it's not, and its emergence from "storage" is unnerving, unwelcome, and sometimes downright terrifying.

The point of all of this? It's normal to stagger when the old structures are swept away-but we have the opportunity (and the imperative) to create our own. Intentionally. For our well-being, and the well-being of our families and communities, we are called upon to design sustainable structures that produce sanity, safety, and human thriving.

How? At Open Source Wellness, we help folks create daily structures using a "Universal Prescription": Move, Nourish, Connect, Be.

These are structures you can apply to your life right now. Whether you're in generally good health or struggling with chronic physical or psychological conditions, we believe that every person needs these four things, every day!

1. Move. Our bodies need to move. They need to stretch, reach, twist, bend, step, sweat, to whatever degree works for our unique shapes and constitutions. They don't care if it's at the gym, out in the neighborhood, or in your living room-they just need activity. It's not just about "staying in shape." It's about your immune health and your mental health, as well! Build movement in your structure, at least 20 minutes per day! YouTube exercise videos range from three-minute workouts to more than an hour, and many of them are family-friendly, too.

2. Nourish. You might have a sense of what foods make you feel lively, focused, resourced, and sane, right? And there are certainly those that are just for fun (hellooo, chocolate). At Open Source Wellness, we suggest not banning or outlawing the small treats that bring you joy, but rather setting up a daily structure that (mostly) fills you with nourishing, healthy foods. Always wanted to make a dietary change, learn to meal prep, teach your kids to cook, or sample a new cuisine? Now's the time! Structure one or two 30-minute chunks of cooking into your days.

3. Connect. This one, more than ever, is key. Humans need to feel connected. We need to feel seen, heard, and understood by another human-and to extend the same in return. And since it won't "just happen" throughout your day, you're going to need to schedule it. More to the point, you'll need to ask for it. To get vulnerable enough to say, "I really want to connect with you. Can we talk?" Tell the truth about how you're feeling, what you're experiencing. Invite them to do the same. Listen with kindness. Offer your support with generosity. High-quality human attention may feel like a scarce resource right now, but you can generate an infinite supply of it.

4. Be. Amid all the "doing"-the preparing, protecting, adjusting, coping, responding, providing, procuring-humans need moments to simply BE. It's not necessarily about serenity, or warm fuzzy feelings. It's about pausing long enough to let your nervous system come back to baseline after prolonged activation. Experiment with what works for you. If meditation or guided relaxation works for you, great! If watching a crappy TV show while snuggled into the couch helps you to just BE, that's good, too. And if painful emotions get too loud or overwhelming when you try to slow down, that's OK, too.

Perhaps start with a little inventory. Of the four aspects of this "Universal Prescription," which ones are you strongest in? Which ones do you incorporate effortlessly, as a part of your routine? Which ones might need a bit more attention, more practice, more cultivation? Then, pick one to focus on first: How might you structure it into your days?

In short, this is an opportunity to get really intentional. To choose rather than to drift. In the absence of everything that normally dictates our days, we are called on to create the structures that will support our health, physically and emotionally, in a time of profound uncertainty. Try out weaving Move, Nourish, Connect, and Be time into your days, and let us know how it goes for you!

And in case the term "social distancing" bums you out as much as it does for me...try on "expansive solidarity." We're right here, in this together...spaciously.

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Four Things to Do Every Day for Your Mental Health

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It's a crazy time. Here in the California, we are sheltering-in-place, leaving the house only for essentials like groceries and medical care. And while we're all (appropriately) focused on caring for the physical health of ourselves, our families, our communities, and society at large, our mental, emotional, and social health needs are quickly emerging as profoundly important, as well.

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Ways to Help Students Who Struggle with Emotions or Behavior

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Ways to Help Students Who Struggle with Emotions or Behavior

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3. Put yourself in the right frame of mind. Most students who have emotional or behavioral problems want to be successful in school, but have trouble controlling themselves, focusing, and staying still. Avoid deeming them "attention seekers," or "slackers." Work on being as patient as possible.

12. Make time to take care of yourself. Find ways to de-stress on evenings and weekends so you can bring your "A game" to the classroom. You might be the take-a-hot-bath type or you might be the cross fit type - whatever works best for you.

Adapted from Red Flags, "Ways to Assist Students with Depression or Related Disorders."

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Tips for Teachers: Ways to Help Students Who Struggle with Emotions or Behavior

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Start fresh. Other teachers may see your class roster and warn you about a particular student, but if what they have to say is negative it can taint your perception of that student before you have even met them. If you see a conversation starting to go this way, reframe it in a positive light.

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Soundout

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Student voice is any expression of any student, anywhere, at anytime focused on learning, schools or education.

Here is a collection of tools you can use to embrace student voice in your school or community! Are you looking for professional development or student training opportunities? Coaching for your school, classroom or program? Learn about our services.

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Student voice is any expression of any student, anywhere, at anytime focused on learning, schools or education. Here is a collection of tools you can use to embrace student voice in your school or community! Are you looking for professional development or student training opportunities? Coaching for your school, classroom or program?

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How to Talk to a Student about their Well-being and Mental Health

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How to Talk to a Student about their Well-being and Mental Health

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Wondering what to say when a student shares personal mental health concerns with you?

Looking to help a student recognize and seek help for a health or behavioral issue?

Need strategies for encouraging a student to overcome ambivalence and move toward positive change?

This part of the website is all about talking with students about mental illness, sharing your concerns about their well-being, and helping them understand and cope with specific issues.

Example Conversation Starters

Naming the things that you've noticed can help set the stage for why you're asking about their mental health

You seem ______ (down, distant, different, angry, upset, disappointed...)

I notice... (you've been missing class, not turning in assignments....)

It seems to me...

I'm curious about...

I'm sensing that you're feeling overwhelmed by today's class discussion (or nervous about the upcoming test, etc.). Talk to me - we'll figure it out together.

You mentioned that you always feel sick and tired during first period. Tell me more about what that feels like.

Asking in a direct way:

Sometimes when people are (feeling the way you are, stressed like you are,...) they have (depression, anxiety, thoughts of suicide). Do you?

It can be helpful to talk with a professional, would that be helpful for you?

How to respond: Listen and show you care.

You're dealing with a lot.

Talk to me, I'm listening, It can be helpful to talk with someone.

Will you walk with me to the counselor's office?

Your Tough Conversation Toolkit

Whether you've decided to approach the student one-on-one or include your school's mental health professional in the conversation, your talk will go better if you do some preparation first.

This section breaks those difficult talks down into manageable steps, using some aspects of a technique called Motivational Interviewing, proven in research and practice to leverage the inner resources for change inside all of us.

Motivational Interviewing (MI) is a conversational technique that helps individuals "hold a mirror up to themselves," looking constructively at their behaviors, then deciding for themselves what they want to change and how they'll go about making changes. The technique was developed for use by trained therapists and counselors, but has some very practical applications for all of us looking to have more productive and meaningful dialogues. Although there is far more to MI than is covered on this website, by learning some of the basic concepts and practicing some of the skills of MI, you may find it easier to begin and continue a dialogue with a student who may need your help to recognize and address a troublesome behavior.

If you'd like to pursue MI in more detail, you'll find a link here to an in-depth primer on the subject developed by experts at the University of New Mexico for therapeutic use with patients struggling with substance use issues. Another helpful resource is the book "Motivational Interviewing with Adolescents and Young Adults" (Sylvie Naar-King, Mariann Suarez, 2011 Guilford Press.) The techniques covered in this section are based closely on the methods outlined in their training manual.

You'll increase your chances of a successful conversation if you develop and practice the following conversational skills:

Communicate respect for the student. Overcoming the "power structure" of the teacher-student relationship isn't easy; it requires that you act as a compassionate and knowledgeable consultant, while respecting his/her freedom of choice and self-direction. Asking permission to share your concerns is a good way to demonstrate respect.

Express empathy. Use reflective listening to help show that you understand, reflecting back what you hear the student saying in your own words and checking to confirm that you heard them correctly. Identify the emotions they are expressing such as embarrassment, sadness, anger or worries and normalize those emotions as difficult.

Help students see the difference between where they are and where they want to be. You may need to help them compare the consequences of change versus maintaining the status quo.

Avoid arguing. You are not seeking to prove a point or convince, but to help the student explore the pros and cons of change (including seeing that the positives he/she associates with the current behavior may not be so positive - without trying to convince them they are wrong).

Roll with resistance rather than meeting it head on. You should expect ambivalence and resistance; they are normal. The more you push, the more they will push back.

Affirm the positive attempts the student has made so far. Your optimism can reduce the student's discomfort and help them feel more confident that change is possible.

The First Step: Build Motivation for Change

The conversation begins with strengthening the student's own motivation to make a change. The following tactics make up your toolkit for this stage:

The basics

The following approaches are sometimes referred to by the acronym OARS - Open-ended Questions, Affirmations, Reflective Listening, and Summarization:

Use open-ended questions. This allows the student to provide more information than just 'yes' or 'no'. Use prompters such as "Tell me more" or "Is there anything else?" to ask about feelings, ideas, concerns and plans, instead of suggesting them.

Affirm, reinforce and compliment - acknowledge the positive to build responsibility and self-esteem.

Use reflective listening. Reflective Listening is the primary tool in MI - the more you practice this skill, the more successful you'll be in overcoming a student's ambivalence about change. Repeat back, in your own words, what you think the student is telling you. For instance, if the student says something like "I am just so sick and tired of people always telling me what to do" you might respond with "You don't like people ordering you around."

Summarize - especially toward the end of the conversation, to make sure you and the student are working on the same things. Remember to include the positive along with the negative.

More helpful skills:

Elicit self-motivational statements from the student, rather than preaching or making ultimatums.
Ex: "What do you think you want to do?" or "Do you have any ideas or suggestions about what you think might help?" This lets you hear what the student thinks about the situation.

Create a "gentle paradox" to turn the tables on the student's current thoughts/attitudes/beliefs.

Listen with empathy, which also requires active or reflective listening techniques. Empathy helps minimize resistance, communicates respect and reconciles what you think you are hearing with what he/she means to say.

Present feedback - Ask permission to review objective data related to the concern (grades, attendance, etc.)

Handle resistance - learn the signs and practice meeting them with reflective listening rather than by putting up resistance of your own. Remember: when it comes to ambivalence or resistance, your behavior plays a huge role - the more you rely on MI tools, the less resistance you will encounter.

Reframe his/her statements into more direct ones. This encourages him/her to consider his/her perceptions in a new light or a different way.Ex: if the student says something like "I don't know why I keep doing this. I am not an idiot, I know it can kill me, I just don't have any willpower I guess..." you might respond with "You are aware of the dangers and keep looking for ways to stop."

Offer a Menu of options to choose from.

Ask Permission. Instead of offering advice as the expert, ask if it would be okay to share some other ideas.

Examples of how to get the conversation started, and how to incorporate basic MI tactics into your conversations, along with a worksheet to help you prepare to talk with a student, can be found here.

The Second Step: Strengthen the Commitment to Change

This phase of MI begins once the student has expressed on his/her own a desire to take steps to make a change. It may take place in a follow-up discussion rather than your initial conversation.

Before you begin talking specifics, you might want to use a few more open-ended questions to get the student thinking more concretely about making a change:

"What are some of the reasons you think now is the time to make a change?"

"What are your plans for this week /this semester/preparing for your senior year?"

"What other things do you think you might be able to do? Why do you think you'll be successful?"

Here are your tactics for this stage:

Discuss a plan. Transition from the reasons for change to negotiating (not prescribing) a plan for change. Elicit suggestions from the student for the plan.

Communicate his/her free choice.

Review the consequences of both action and inaction, reminding the student that it is his/her choice.

Provide information and advice after asking if it is desired by the student. For example, "Would you like more information about..." or "Would you like to hear my suggestions?"

Deal with resistance without fighting it. The more you push, the more they will push back.

Develop a CHANGE PLAN WORKSHEET.

Recapitulate - review things again to clarify and identify gaps and answer questions.

Ask for commitment.

Ask how likely it is that the student will follow through with the plan.

Examples of how these tactics can be used in conversations, and as well as a change plan worksheet, can be downloaded here.

Practice

These communication techniques take time and practice to master. While you can't predict exactly what the student might say during your conversation, you can anticipate many of the likely statements and responses he/she might rely upon, and construct different scenarios. Use the sample conversations and preparation worksheets included in this section to map out several scenarios, practicing how to properly phrase questions and statements within each. You may wish to jot down notes and prepare and rehearse a few statements in advance of your conversation.

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Wondering what to say when a student shares personal mental health concerns with you? Looking to help a student recognize and seek help for a health or behavioral issue? Need strategies for encouraging a student to overcome ambivalence and move toward positive change?