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It is paralyzing

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We cant live in an alternate reality and expect what is right in front of us to get better

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We cant live in an alternate reality and expect what is right in front of us to get better

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avoidance..absolutely. also saying I am praying about the situation and/or person but really just rationalizing my feelings to God

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am I going to forgive and then be right back down this path in 6 months..a year? needing to forgive yet again...

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Forgiveness is not adding on top of your pain a misery too great to bear.  It is exchanging bound up resentment for a life giving freedom. 

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Forgiveness is not adding on top of your pain a misery too great to bear.  It is exchanging bound up resentment for a life giving freedom. 

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Coping mechanisms, like being overly positive or hyper spiritual or using substances to numb out, may get to the short term.  But in the long run they don't help us cope; they keep us stuck at the point of our unhealed pain.

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Coping mechanisms, like being overly positive or hyper spiritual or using substances to numb out, may get to the short term.  But in the long run they don't help us cope; they keep us stuck at the point of our unhealed pain.

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Forgiveness is a command.  But it is not cruel.  It is God's divine mercy for human hearts that are so prone to turn hurt into hate.

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Forgiveness is a command.  But it is not cruel.  It is God's divine mercy for human hearts that are so prone to turn hurt into hate.

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I felt like --if they can do it...so can I.

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Avoiding thinking about it--deny it is a problem at all.

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Being a witness of someone else forgiving what seemed like the unforgivable gives me hope that I too will be able to forgive and heal.  

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Being a witness of someone else forgiving what seemed like the unforgivable gives me hope that I too will be able to forgive and heal.  

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The fear of the unknown result makes me wonder if I can ever truly forgive completely. It makes me wonder if I want/can completely forgive.

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The fear of the unknown result makes me wonder if I can ever truly forgive completely. It makes me wonder if I want/can completely forgive.

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Forgiveness feels like it trivializes, minimizes or worse yet, makes what happened not big deal.  I GET this, especially when I really wanted the person who hurt me to be as hurt as I was or at the very least know how badly I was hurt...but I realized (after much time)  that that person will NEVER understand how badly I was hurt--nor will them being hurt ever fix my pain--only GOD knows.

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Forgiveness feels like it trivializes, minimizes or worse yet, makes what happened not big deal.  I GET this, especially when I really wanted the person who hurt me to be as hurt as I was or at the very least know how badly I was hurt...but I realized (after much time)  that that person will NEVER understand how badly I was hurt--nor will them being hurt ever fix my pain--only GOD knows.