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i want the story to be longer.

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I like your ending.

you need to hook in the reader.

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i like that you put the date.

i think you shod give the reader.

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Jayme! I like your writing because it make mrs Govinder Happy.

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I liked the part that you said(the music started).

I do not like( we did our dance well) because you did't give much data

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I liked when you put in a comma.

You cad make the ending longer.

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I liked your nding. you need to chanj the start.

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why did you not tell us about

what you wore.

I did not like that your

sentins are so short .

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i think that you did't write about the dance. I liked your ending.

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I liked it when you told the reader what date.

What I think you need to work on is tell the reader why we did the dance well.

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I like the word nervous.

I did not like your ending because it was a shout sentence.

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I liked all the information you did in the first sentence!

I think you should hook the reader in by using sound words!

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I like how you put in Ellipsis.

I think you need to tell the reader what the dance was c.