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An article on family mapping

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An introduction to family-structure mapping

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An introduction to family-structure mapping

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https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/family-therapy/
What is the Goal of Family Therapy?

“To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.” – Confucius

In a nutshell, the goal of family therapy is:

To work together to heal any mental, emotional, or psychological problems tearing your family apart. (Lee, 2010)

In order to help a family work together towards a healthy family life, family therapists aim to aid family members in improving communication, solving family problems, understanding and handling special family situations, and creating a better functioning home environment (Family Therapy, 2017A).

More broadly, the goals of family therapy depend on the presenting problems of the clients. For example, the goals differ based on the following scenarios:

A family member is suffering from schizophrenia or severe psychosis:
The goal is to help other family members understand the disorder and adjust to the psychological changes that the patient may be undergoing.

Problems arising from cross-generational boundaries, such as when parents share a home with grandparents, or children are being raised by grandparents:
In this case, the goal is to improve communication and help the family members set healthy boundaries.

Families deviating from social norms (unmarried parents, gay couples raising children, etc.):
The goals here are not always to address any specific internal problems, but the family members may need help coping with external factors like societal attitudes.

Family members who come from mixed racial, cultural, or religious backgrounds:
The goal in this case is to help family members further their understanding of one another and develop healthy relationships.

One member is being scapegoated or having their treatment in individual therapy undermined:
When one family member is struggling with feeling like the outcast or receives limited support from other family members, the goal is to facilitate increased empathy and understanding for the individual within their family and provide support for them to continue their treatment.

The patient’s problems seem inextricably tied to problems with other family members:
In cases where the problem or problems are deeply rooted in problems with other family members, the goal is to address each of the contributing issues and solve or mitigate the effects of this pattern of problems.

A blended family (i.e., step-family):
Blended families can suffer from problems unique to their situations. In blended families, the goal of family therapy is to enhance understanding and facilitate healthy interactions between family members (Family Therapy, 2017B).

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Because it's almost Valentine's Day...

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Paulie Hawthorne:  Assume Positive Intent

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Paulie Hawthorne:  Assume Positive Intent

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One strategy that has helped in my marriage and other relationships is the assumption of positive intent.  If I assume people generally mean well my reactions to their behavior also changes.  I recently used this when I was working with a youth in extended foster care and his personal relationships.  He was complaining about a statement made by a family member and I asked "How do you know he meant to make you feel bad?"  What if he didn't?  We then worked out how things may have changed if the assumption would have been positive vs. negative.  This can work in all types of relationships, but I find family relationships are often the most difficult to navigate and we typically assign intent without any basis for that assumption.  Here is a good, short article about positive intent.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/always-assume-positive-intent-world-isnt-out-get-you-kim-rundle

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I searched "Therapy for people with psychological problems from the systemic abuses their governments perpetuate", and google responded with this.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK64259/
Not great, but I'm going with it, because nothing came close, and heck, it is from the NCBI.

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https://www.strengtheningfamiliesprogram.org/index.html

Here is a link for information about a family communication program I help facilitate a few years ago. The program is no longer available in the community I live in however, while it was running, it was great for families. The main structure was Strengthening Families Program which you can find information on through the link. We also incorporated components of Nurturing Parenting. The program was family orientated and started every session off with a family style dinner. Many families would take the program numerous times.

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Understanding the Benefits of Marriage and Family Therapy

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The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy

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Understanding the Benefits of Marriage and Family Therapy

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Marriage and Family Therapists are trained in systemic, or relational, therapy and believe that throughout life we exist in a number of relationships that directly and indirectly impact our well-being. Our relationships with family, friends, co-workers and neighbors influence and create our individual experience. Find out more about how MFTs can help you navigate your journey.

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Some things that I have seen regarding resources for couples therapy is when my clients ask why should I go. I usually tell them if you are questioning if you should or should not then the question needs to be asked; why not?

According from the website Good Therapy are a few reasons why couples should seek counseling.

When Is Couples Counseling Recommended?

As all couples experience tension or conflict at some point in their relationship, many people are unsure when they should seek couples counseling. The reality is that couples may seek relationship counseling for many different reasons, including:

Power struggles

Communication issues

Substance abuse

Sexual dissatisfaction

Financial issues

Anger issues

Infidelity

Major life adjustments

Frequent conflict or high stress levels

Conflicting ideas on childrearing

In my opinion, everyone needs to seek therapy in the event to have a paraprofessional to hear you and help with personal or family issues that an outside perspective can help. In other words, the above reasons should not be the only reasons a loved one is seeking help.

GoodTherapy.org. (2018.). Retrieved February 03, 2018, from https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/modes/marriage-counseling

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Fun little clip here. Its only free for part of it but it gave a good definition of Family Therapy. 

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Fun little clip here. Its only free for part of it but it gave a good definition of Family Therapy. 

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https://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-family-therapy-techniques-lesson-quiz.html

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Lisa Williams

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Keeping that delicious spark alive in couplehood!

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Keeping that delicious spark alive in couplehood!

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I came across this insightful and impressive woman, Esther Perel who delivers an important message to individuals/couples who feel their partnership may have lost its initial juiciness.  I think she makes some valid remarks on the topic of how 'erotic intelligence can be an antidote to death!' Definitely worth a listen! https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship

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Below is a list of 5 benefits couples receive during marital counseling:

1. You will learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy manner.

In marriage counseling, you will learn communication skills that will help you not only listen to your spouse but, to also process what your spouse is saying.

2. You will learn how to communicate your needs clearly and openly without resentment or anger.

3. You will learn how to be assertive without being offensive.

Both spouses need to be able to talk about their issues without fear of hurting the other spouse. In marriage counseling, you will learn that you can get what you need without having to make demands and engage in conflict.

4. You will learn to process and work through unresolved issues. Marriage counseling offers a safe environment for expressing any unhappiness you feel. Getting your feelings out into the open with the help of a trained professional may be all you need. You may find that your spouse is more than willing to work together to solve the problems in the marriage. You may also find that your spouse is unwilling to do the work. If so, you are then free to leave the marriage without any guilt because you have given it your best shot.

5. You will develop a deeper understanding of who your spouse is and what his/her needs are. Better yet, you will learn more deeply who you are and what your needs are. You may end up finding that those needs can be met inside the marriage. You may not.

Relationship skills needed to maintain a fulfilling marriage could be learned. A marriage counselor can teach you those skills while monitoring your progress, mediating conflict and giving objective feedback.

If you wait too long to seek marriage counseling the odds are against you. Even if you feel it is too late and no amount of counseling will help the only way to know for sure is to seek professional help. Doing so will keep you from making a mistake you will later regret. If you are thinking about divorce, protect yourself from future regret by working with a marriage counselor. He/she can not only help you come to terms with whether or not to divorce but can also teach you the skills needed in any future relationships should you decide to leave the marriage.

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Rules to fight with because it's going to happen.  It is amazing how simple yet how hard these can be.

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What do most couples fight about? Here are the 5 most common issues:

Free Time

Money

Housework

Physical Intimacy

Extended Family

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Structural Family Therapy - Laura Thornton

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Structural Family Therapy - Laura Thornton

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http://paxfamilycounseling.com/2016/02/03/structural-family-therapy-in-a-nutshell-and-why-you-should-consider/

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I found a super useful tool to explore communication dynamics within a family. Something that children and adults can identify with and refer to!