# data[].attributes.body
Why does God gotta fuck good people over? / I ain’t even talkin bout myself/ or maybe I am / my momma told me that God had a plan for all of us and daddy waznt supposed to be in ours no more and that we just had to accept that/ but I cdnt forgive him after that/ God I mean / if he the reason my daddy left then both of them niggaz aint shit / up and left 6 kids and a wife like they were nothin / like we waz nothin / & I believed I waz nothin because of it / & what a shit feeling it was to be nothing

I’m grown now but I still feel like nothin / letting them boys in my house like it’s a trap / lyin to their faces when I say it was fun lets do it again sometime / tellin em whatever they needed to hear to get the fuck outta my bed so I cd go to sleep but only after I wash the sheets cause I cd still smell the cologne on them / some girls go wild for that smell but it just makes me want to throw up bc that cologne reminds me of being 14 in New York all over again / I don’t wanna remember anything before I was 21 / actin like I just discovered alcohol and I aint never had a drink before/ ha / funny / been high and drunk since I was 16 cause being legal don’t mean shit where I’m from and it don’t mean shit now / & I still feel like nothin

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there are so many days that i wish i would have been nicer to my mother. she was not the problem in our household...i blamed her anyways. i hated her for choosing to go to work instead of our volleyball or baseball games. i hated her for sleeping on Sunday's while we were forced to go to church with grandma and grandpa. i hated her for sending money instead of love, gifts instead of kisses and for not being there when she needed to be there.

now she's gone. and all i remember is hating her.

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it's because of you
that i'm suffering today
it's because of you
that I feel no one cares

dear father,

you aren't here with me
though you helped
create me
how could you push me
right out of your
world?

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I realized today that I
have stopped living
life.
I am trying to get to the
next day.
Just living in the
thought of
tomorrow.
I am not living.
I am waiting.
I don't know exactly
what I am waiting
for.
But I am kind of scared         of what it may be.

# data[].attributes.body
her eyes
stole my heart,
her smile
gave me life,
her presence
made me high,
her touch
left me breathless..