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Majlis Pernikahan Tomok & Ayu [OFFICIAL]

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The traditional wedding ceremony is in four stages or parts. The first part is the adat merisik. The second part is adat bertunang (engagement custom ). The third part is menghantar belanja dan akad nikah (marriage contract), which is the legal and religious part of the wedding. The last part is the bersanding (enthronement), which is a family celebration.

The adat menengok (asking ceremony, or more literally 'spying custom') is the traditional Malay system for arranging marriages. When it is time for a young man to get married, his family will look around to identify a number of potential brides. Usually family was suggested to their son about selection of the Bride. Therefore, the son must agree with the choice of their family. But nowadays, the man might suggest to his family who he would like them to consider, and it may be that a romantic link already exists between the man and woman. Having decided upon one particular woman, the menengok, or investigation process, takes place. For this ceremony one or more representatives (wakil) of the man's family pay a friendly visit to the family of the woman whom they have in mind as his potential bride.

The visit is purely for the purpose of further investigation, and it gives the visitors the chance to see the woman. A hint will be given to her parents regarding the purpose of the visit, and their reaction will be assessed. The woman's parents may also give the visitors some idea as to whether or not their daughter would be interested in the match. Other, to ensure the woman have abilities such as cooking, sewing and so on. The menengok does not constitute a formal proposal. Following the visit both sides can begin to think more seriously about the possibility or otherwise of a marriage. It is possible that no progress may take place, and the man's parents or representatives will then look for another possible bride. If the both of the family satisfied the result, then parents and other family could decided on the best day for meminang.

Meminang is the parents of son go to the woman's parents to ask for the hand of their daughter in marriage. The engagement custom will be held when the woman parents accept the representative (wakil) of the man's family. Family and relatives of man come to the girl's house where they will have representatives to talk on behalf of each other's family. This will usually be the uncle or a family friend/ dad's friend. They are then set the date, the hantaran and expenses Hantaran is the amount of money for the guy to give to the girl's family to support the wedding and expenses is the amount of money for the future bride to keep.

In adat bertunang, both of sides will talk and determined the date of marriage contract (akad nikah) will be discuss in engagement custom. Usually the adat bertunang (engagement custom) is normally held at the bride's home. A date will be choose to celebrate the akad nikah (marriage contract) ceremony. Anyway, them talking about the amount of money is already awkward enough. In addition, adat of menghantar tanda (token) also take places in adat bertunang. Usually token in the form wether a ring or gold or diamond. The sending of tanda or token (engagement ring) is customarily accompanied by ceremonial kenduri held by both sides.
Menghantar Belanja dan Akad Nikah
In a Malay marriage, akad nikah is ceremony that is essentially required by islam and the law of the country to make the marriage halal. The most important part in malay marriange is the akad nikah (marriage contract) ceremony. The akad nikah will start with the groom sitting (on a small square mattress to make him comfortable,) facing the imam or tok kadi. They will then hold hands in a handshake manner, and the imam will say the words of the akad nikah to the groom who will then reply. So, after the akad nikah is accepted and the imam recites prayers for a happy and blissful marriage to the couple, he will then read to the groom the duties of a husband, his rights, the dos and don'ts, and also the duties and rights of the wife.

Tok kadi or iman will mention in particular the stages in pursuing the Islamic divorce and the consequences of reciting divorce intentions including incidences where it is lawful for the wife to seek divorce. And after the imam has finished with his advice ( mostly read from prepared text), the groom, acknowledging the advice given, will then sign the formal papers of marriage for official documentation purpose. The Religious Department will, in about two weeks time, deliver him the official marriage certificate. The groom will then do the Muslim two rakaah "Solah Syukur" (prayer) as gratitude to Allah on the successful proceedings and to seek guidance daily on his new status as a husband.

He groom signs the marriage contract and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin (expeses, literally 'marriage gold' in form of money or goods or anything as requested by the bride). It is opposite to dowry where the mas kahwin is paid by the groom to the bride. The mas khawin is a symbol to show that the men is willing and are prepared to build a family with the lady he chose to get married to. The contract signing is done before a religious official and is accompanied by prayer. If the bersanding is to take place the next day, the couple's hands are dyed with henna during the berinai besar (great henna-ing) ceremony. The bride's hair is also trimmed, eyebrows shaped and make-up applied by a beautician, known as the mak andam. Then the bride puts on her tudung (hijjab or headscarf) to cover their hair and a selendang, or embroidered and beaded shawl over that. A crown is also placed on top of the shawl. If the bersanding does not take place on the day following the nikah, these preparation customs are delayed until the bersanding.

The bersanding (enthronement) ceremony begins with the groom's procession with friends, relatives, musicians and people waving bunga manggar (palm blossom) to meet the bride. Often various good-humoured attempts are made to waylay or stop the groom from getting to the bride. The main part of the bersanding involves the seating of the bridal couple on a dais and sprinkling them with yellow rice and scented water by family members, relatives and guests as a sign of blessing. Each guest will receive a bunga telur (egg flower), a decorated egg with a fabric flower, as a sign of fertility.

Bungga Manggar (P alm blossom)

The actual marriage day is the bersanding . This literally means the "sitting together of the bride and bridegroom on the bridal couch". Known as the , this couch is the centrepiece of the whole ceremony, and two pelamins are required - one in the bride's house and the other in the bridegroom's. As the Bersanding ceremony customarily takes place in the afternoon, the bridegroom entertains guests at his own house in the morning. Usually the groom and the bride wears dress full malay such as tengkolok, keris and so on. The bridegroom will dressed as king and queen. At the agreed time, he is escorted in a procession with a band (male music group) to his bride's house.

The kompang performance is an important part of the traditional Malay wedding ceremony, especially in the Southwest of Peninsular Malaysia. The kompang troupe also performs during the wedding procession on the actual marriage day. The ceremonial activities during the actual day begin with the bridegroom walking slowly in procession towards the brides house for a distance of about a hundred to two hundred metres. The party, led by womenfolk and accompanied by bearers of the decorative flowers called bunga mangga, consists of family members and friends of the bridegroom. The kompang troupe walks in procession and performs various songs until the bridegroom enter the bride's' house.

On arrival, he has to pay a 'tax' in the form of money to the girl's family before he enters each door leading to the pelamin to take his place besides his bride. An , a tiered pedestalled tray, is also placed in front of the pelamin. Each tier contains a mound of cooked yellow rice studded all over with red-dyed eggs. This tray will later be presented to the emak pengantin (a close friend or relative chosen to be the matron of honour for the marriage) as an act of appreciation for her help during the ceremonies. The groom then sits with the bride on the pelamin.

After this the couple returns to the bridegroom's house in a procession. They are normally accompanied by the hadrah band, with men beating a rhythm on their timbrels and reading verses from the Koran. The music proclaims their marriage to the world. At the bridegroom's house, the Bersanding ceremony is repeated for the benefit of the bridegroom's kinfolk. This is followed by feasting and merry-making, called the . The wedding celebrations come to an end when the bridal pair returns home to the bride's house to pay respects to her family. After the bersanding ceremony, the wedded couple and their guests attend a celebratory feast called the makan beradab (formal meal). This involves the bride and groom feeding each other sweetened rice.

Bunga telur (egg flower ) and Pulut Kuning (yellow rice)

Makan Beradab (formal meal)

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What The Steps In The Process Arrangement Of Malay Marriage?

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The traditional wedding ceremony is in four stages or parts. The first part is the adat merisik. The second part is adat bertunang (engagement custom ). The third part is menghantar belanja dan akad nikah (marriage contract), which is the legal and religious part of the wedding.

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I had gone through Filipino's wedding traditions in my previous post so obviously, I will be covering Malay wedding traditions. There are more than I thought so bear with me. All info is from a mixture of my own knowledge, the internet but mostly from my mother who is culturally inclined because she grew up while all these practices are still dominant. The info may not be 100% accurate but the best information retrieved.

In this generation, some of these Malay wedding practices are getting uncommon and even if it's practiced, some people don't even know the reasoning behind it. So let's get enlightened.

There are always confusion with 'merisik' and 'meminang'. 'Merisik' also means 'memeriksa' which is to investigate if the lady in question is single and available to be engaged and getting to know her family. In the olden days, dating is taboo and the common practice is match making or simply visiting the lady's family to 'check her and her family out'

The guy's parents/ family usually would visit the lady's parents have lunch/tea/dinner (of course with a heads up) and basically chit-chat. Previously, it's usually done in poems. Examples can be found here.

For Malay proposals, a family entourage of the guy's side will visit the lady's house bearing gifts (to be exchanged with the lady) and intentions. Gifts include, a ring, cake, fruits and a proposed dowry but in denominations of tens. If 'mahar' (dowry) is meant to be $8,000, $80 will be given. Usually poems are exchanged too with a declaration to propose to the lady in question.

'Meminang' is usually a small and simple affair but nowadays, it can be pretty grand in my opinion with henna, special outfits and more people invited almost like a wedding. To each its own.

03. 'Mandi Bunga'/ Flower Bath

[ aeqmalhuatphotography]

There are a few other cultures that practice this and one of them is Javanese. This flower bath consists of any7 types of flowers such as 'Sundal Malam', 'Mawar', 'Cempaka', 'Kenanga', 'Tanjung', 'Melur' and 'Kesidang'. Flowers are dismembered, mixed with scented oils or lime juice and water. This bath usually done the night before the solemnization. It is supposedly best to bathe at midnight.

This ritual is supposed to disperse bad luck and ward off bad spirits. Please take note that is 'shirik' (sin of practicing idolatry or polytheism in Islam). But a normal flower bath (without recitations) can be done to give the BTB a flowery scent. Think it as a major perfume shower before the wedding. There are SPA centers that cater them such as Aura Royalis.

04. 'Malam Berinai' atau 'Berinai kecil'/ Henna Painting Ceremony

Henna is tainted on the tips of groom and bride's fingers to signify their newly wedded status. As this is also heavily practiced by Hindus but in more elaborate designs, Malays eventually follow suit. Although there are arguments on whether it's allowed to henna ourselves according to Islam, it's still a dominated practice. I touched base a little on this in an old post.

Usually, a huge celebration is done just for painting henna on the bride's hands and feet. Think it as a party with food, drinks and entertainment. A'las, it's a practice for Hindus or rich Malays for obvious reasons. Nowadays, there are barely any henna parties and if there is, it's a very small and simple one with closest family and friends.

05. 'Berewang'/ Working Together

This is a common practice in the 'kampung' days when everyone knows everyone and everyone was superbly helpful and hands on. Regardless whatever ceremony which includes a wedding, everyone would help 1 or 2 days before the wedding; preparing ingredients, cooking and setting up the wedding.

Since catering, décor and such are outsourced, not THAT much help is needed. It's still practiced but with lesser work. Family and sometimes friends would come the day before the solemnization to help with preparing the wedding favors or 'bunga rampai' and such. Food is usually served on that day to accommodate and a way of saying thanks.

06. 'Bunga Rampai'/ Assortment of Flowers

'Bunga rampai' are usually passed around after the solemnization of the bride and groom to close families and friends. They are not exclusive to solemnization only but also circumcision ceremonies, engagement etc. It is not mass distributed like wedding favors with just an average of 30 mini boxes/ baskets per side.

It is basically made of several types of flowers and pandan leaves which are thinly sliced and mixed with perfumed water such as jasmine, rosewater or whichever is preferred. It does not have a great meaning behind but just to fill the ceremony with a flowery fragrance. A modern version of it is potpourri although its fragrance is not known to last long.

07. 'Berandam dan Berasah gigi'/ Beautifying and Grinding of Teeth

[ arghasenaphotograpy]

'Mak Andam' (beautifier) is usually recognized as a Bridal make-up artist but originally, it was not the case. ' Berandam ' is a practice of the trimming or shaping baby hair on the BTB's forehead and eyebrows and her removing facial hair. This is to beautify the face. Some would say this is 'Haram' (illicit in Islam) because we are not supposed to change the way we look but if that's the case, we should not wear make-up either. This is an uncommon practice as far as I know. I have plenty of baby hair and I would be devastated if someone trimmed it!

And yes, you read the 2nd part right, grinding of teeth. It does sound very tribal but once a upon a time, people do this (for those who does not have straight teeth) along with shining the teeth so that the BTB will look presentable.

08. 'Marhaban Perkahwinan'/ Wedding Welcome with Prayers

'Marhaban' is common in all kinds of Islamic celebrations and that includes a wedding. It's optional and I believe it's quite uncommon in weddings. It's a way to welcome guests and prayers or 'zikir' are recited for the bride and groom as well wishes and prayers for their wedding and marriage.

09. 'Akad Nikah'/ Solemnisation

Originally, Islamic solemnization is very, very simple and straight to the point. All you need is a 'wali' (guardian), 2 witnesses, a small amount of 'mahar' (dowry) and/or a ring with a small dinner 'walimah' (celebration). Now, additional wedding gifts and dowry are expected. Usually 'akad nikah' is done the night before the big 'walimah' but sometimes, it can squeezed in a day. Bride and groom is officially married after this ceremony.

[pinterest - nameeeeera]

'Mahar' is a gift given by the groom to the bride during the solemnization ceremony. It symbolizes the beginning of a husband's responsibility towards his wife in fulfilling her everyday needs. 'Mahar' can be in cash or benefits, such as gold, silver or money. 'Mahar' is the bride's right and she owns the 'Mahar'. Thus, she has the will to dispose of it as she wishes. The current minimum rate for the 'Mahar 'in Singapore is S$100 cash.

11. 'Hantaran dan Wang Hantaran'/ Gifts and Money gift

Wedding gifts consists of an exchange of 'Kitab' (book of Quranic verses), prayer mat, watch, shoes and whatever the couple agreed upon. The number of trays exchanged can be from 3 to 12. Average number is 8.

Ranging from $5,000 to even $12,000 cash and sometimes cheque, 'wang hantaran' is a customary gift from the groom to the bride's family for the 'walimah'. This amount is usually discussed between 2 families and can be quite controversial because sometimes the amount asked is not in lieu to the groom's financial standing. Note that parents of the bride would receive it since usually they cover the cost of the bride's event as an reimbursement.

12. 'Sirih Junjung/ Sirih Dara'/ Betel Nut Leaves flower arrangement.

[Divaforall]
Along with 'hantaran' both bride and groom also bears 'sirih junjung' from groom and 'sirih dara' from bride to signify their virginity. Yes! Both not just the lady. In the olden days, after the wedding is completed, other single men and women would 'fight' for the top of the 'sirih dara' for luck in relationships. For some reason, only 'sirih dara' are more commonly used for the bride's side and it ends up as a cultural decoration.

As mentioned above, there is always a celebration after the solemnization as a way to not only celebrate but also declare that the couple has officially gotten married to the public. Depending to the social life and budget of the bride and groom, a wedding can have 300 to 1500 people. Again, usually it's a simple ceremony but now, karaoke, outfit changes, photo booths and much more are common.

14. 'Sireh Lat-Lat'/ Betel Bouquet

Before the times of telecommunications, the bride side of the family would send the 'sireh lat-lat' to the groom to signify that the bride is ready and he and the entourage may proceed to their house. It is usually betel nut leaves shaped into a cone with flowers. The groom would then arrive to the bride's house holding the 'sireh lat-lat' and pass it to the bride and it would be her bridal bouquet not like the big flower bouquets you see now. Superstition believes that if the groom accidentally drop it, it perceives as bad luck.

Now, 'sireh lat-lat' is mostly used as an adornment for the groom as he makes his entrance since brides now have their own flower bouquet. The groom will pass to the bride and bride will pass to the 'mak andam'.

Usually just for decorations for any Malay celebrations, papers are cut, wrapped on a thin wooden bamboo skewers, poked onto pineapple that is fasten to a thick bamboo pole. Now, there are many variations of 'bunga manggar', using a cylindrical shaped Styrofoam, plastic colorful tinsel or even fake flowers.

At a wedding, you can find 2 'bunga manggar'; 1 on each side of the groom as he make his entrance to meet his bride. A few decorated skewers are also sometimes placed together with a directional sign to the wedding.

16. 'Kompang'/ Drumming of handheld drums

[Kompang Al-Falah]
Following the groom to the bride is not only his entourage but also a procession of several men playing the 'kompang' as an announcement of his arrival. The men playing the 'kompang' also would also sing 'ghazal' (lyrical poems) and songs. Depending on the budget, the procession may also include ladies dancing a traditional dance.

Previously, 'kuda kepang' (men dancing on make shift horse) is common and sometimes accompanied by 'gamelan' (small gongs) since it originally has dark magic intentions, it's considered as 'shirik'. But again, it's 'okay' for a cultural purpose. This is a uncommon practice in Singapore now.

It is the procession of the groom holding the 'sireh lat-lat' to the bride's house with an entourage of family and friends, kompang and/or dancers with 'bungga manggar'

Before the groom can approach his bride, he will be blocked by several groups of people, from friends to family and the number of groups depends on the family. Poems, negotiations and small tokens of cash are exchanged. In some circumstances, the groom is also asked to do random acts like singing or dancing.

This is still a big practice in weddings as they make the wedding more festive and fun.

The final part of the 'hadang' is giving money to the 'mak andam' which is called 'duit kipas' to let her reveal his bride as she is covering her with a hand fan and allow him to sit next to her. The amount is usually pre-discussed with the 'mak andam'.

20. 'Bersanding'/ Sitting together

Bride and groom to sit together on a decorated stage ('pelamin') for the blessing ceremony and photo taking with friends and family.

'Silat Pengantin/ Malay Self-Defence Art for Bride and Groom

As soon as the bride and groom are seated, a few men or boys, will perform 'silat' 1 at time for the bride and groom. Long time ago, 'silat' is usually performed for Sultans to showcase their skills and fighting capabilities. Since the bride and groom are considered as "king and queen" for the day, it evolves to ' silat pengantin '.

For the skill and knowledgeable, every 'silat' movement has its own meaning, for example, blessing the couple, respect the "royalty", protection and etc. But mostly now, 'silat asal boleh' (anyhow 'silat') is also welcomed because it's also a form of entertainment.

22. Menyembah Ibu-bapa dan mertua/ Respecting the parents and in-laws

After the 'silat pengantin', everyone will settle down, parents of the bride would sit on the 'pelamin' so both bride and groom can 'salam' (greet by kissing their hands) as a form of respect. This is repeated when they are at the groom's location.

23. 'Tepuk Tepung Tawar' / No Direct Translation

The bride and groom are then seated back to their 'thrones' for the commencement of ' Tepuk Tepung Tawar '. Starting from the eldest of the family tree, they will:

1)Take a small amount of a mixture of yellow/ white rice, roasted wheat/ popcorn ('bertih') and sometimes flowers, sprinkle it onto the groom and bride to signify celebration and happiness.

2)Sprinkle rosewater onto bride and groom. Onto eyebrows signifies ability to handle problems well, onto shoulders signifies able to handle burden and responsibility and onto palm of hands for strength to work hard in life.

3)A pinch of henna paste smeared onto the couple's palms to signify their marital status.

4)Running a boiled egg or raw egg around their faces to "absorb" any bad or ill luck.

5) Odd numbers of people are encouraged but not necessarily.

This practice is somewhat controversial in Islam due to the wastage of food by throwing rice, the act of blessing the couple and believing that a boiled egg would "absorb" bad luck. But some say for 'culture' sake, as long there is no belief while doing the act, it should be fine.

27. 'Mandi Berhias'/ Ornated Shower

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28 Malay Wedding Traditions You May Know or Not (with explanations)

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I had gone through Filipino's wedding traditions in my previous post so obviously, I will be covering Malay wedding traditions. There are more than I thought so bear with me. All info is from a mixture of my own knowledge, the internet but mostly from my mother who is culturally inclined because she grew up while all these practices are still dominant.

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This is one of the example of malay wedding attire.

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Traditional Chinese Wedding in Malaysia (Tea ceremony)

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Upacara Nikah dan kahwin Orang Asli Temuan di Bukit Putus( Temuan Wedding Ceremony)

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This article is about stages in Chinese Wedding Ceremony

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A traditional Chinese wedding is often full of beautiful, meaningful, and sometimes bizarre rituals. In Malaysia, the traditions brought down from our ancestors have been adapted and modernized over the years just like in several other countries. Many of us have either witnessed these traditions if we've been to a Chinese wedding, or been through them ourselves. But what do they really mean? We found out the meaning and history behind these popular modern Chinese wedding traditions in Malaysia.

1. Offerings

It is customary for the groom and his entourage to come to the bride's house for the first part of the ceremony. The bride will wait in her room for the groom to "collect" her and bring her back to his house. While waiting for him to show up, the bride's family traditionally sets up a table of offerings for the Gods and ancestors, to bless the couple with a long and happy marriage. This usually includes burning of joss sticks and offerings such as fruits and sweet treats.

2. Red veil

The red veil seen in traditional Chinese weddings is similar to the white veil worn in Christian weddings. Traditionally, it was meant to symbolise modesty and to cover the bride's face until later in the bridal chamber where the groom will take it off. Today it is a ritual practiced for tradition's sake, and is often removed by the groom after the ceremony. The colour red symbolises happiness in Chinese culture which is why it is often the main colour theme in a Chinese wedding.

3. Tea ceremony

The ritual of the Chinese Wedding Tea ceremony has prevailed over time as it is an important part of Chinese culture. Even the most simplistic of Chinese weddings will include this ritual. The bride and groom serves tea to their parents and older married relatives such as grandparents, uncles, aunties, and cousins. It signifies a symbol of love, respect and gratitude. The tea recipients will remain seated while the couple kneel or bow to serve them the tea, and will then present them with an ang pao packet (cash gift).

After the ritual is over, the couple will sit in their seats and be greeted by the children of their families who will call them "aunty" and "uncle", and the couple will give them ang pao. Traditionally, tea also symbolises purity, stability, and fertility. It is a meaningful moment in a Chinese wedding as it seen as the moment when the two families officially unite in marriage.

4. Red umbrella

It's got nothing to do with rain! The red umbrella is traditionally held by the bride's father to shelter the bride to the car as she is leaving the house to go to the groom's residence. During this time, the relatives will also throw rice on top of the umbrella. This ritual is meant to protect the bride from evil spirits that may be watching the house.

Daren Chong Photography. Source.

5. Loud noises

When the bride arrives to the groom's house, there will often be loud music, gongs and firecrackers to celebrate her arrival. While it serves the purpose of creating a festive atmosphere, it is also believed that loud noises will scare away evil spirits, which is another reason why the groom's procession will honk their horns on the way to the bride's house.

6. Baby Boy on the Bed

This is a unique tradition not found in other cultures. When the marital bed has been set up, a baby boy from either one of the families born under the Year of the Dragon will be made to play and roll around on the bed. The belief behind this tradition is to ensure the couple will be blessed with a son, which is very important in Chinese culture. If there is no baby relative at the time of the wedding, a young boy can also take part, where he will jump on the bed and play games with the couple.

In the olden days, sons traditionally stayed home after marriage while daughters left to live with their in-laws. They also carried the family name. Parents needed their sons to help take care of them in their old age, which is why having more sons was celebrated and encouraged. In modern times, this is not really the case, but the ritual lives on.

7. Throwing The Fan

When the bride's in the wedding car, she throws a pretty Chinese fan out of the window. It is believed that when she does this, she also throws out her 'bad temper' and other negative qualities so that the couple will have a happy and smooth marriage.

8. Greeting the Groom

When the groom arrives to the bride's house, he must not leave the car by himself. Traditionally, the bride's brother must open the door for him and escort him into the home. This symbolises the bride's family accepting and welcoming the groom to the family. If the bride does not have a brother, a cousin may be recruited for the task.

9. Heng Tai Games

Once the groom and his groomsmen (known as 'heng tai') arrives to the bride's house, they will be expected to participate in "gatecrash games" organised by the bridesmaids (or 'ji mui'). They must complete these "challenges" before the groom can be allowed inside the house to collect his bride. These games are meant to humiliate the boys (all in great fun, of course!) so more often than not, these games are quite PG-13! The more creative and embarrassing, the better. Some examples are making the men were diapers, drink disgusting concoctions, lick whipped cream off each other's toes...you get the idea.

READ: Can We Agree To Stop Torturing The Groom's Heng Tais Already?

Need a photographer for your big day? On Recommend.my, we have several experienced and professional photographers. Submit your request and we'll get back to you with quotes that fit your budget.

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9 Chinese Wedding Traditions Explained | Recommend.my LIVING

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A traditional Chinese wedding is often full of beautiful, meaningful, and sometimes bizarre rituals. In Malaysia, the traditions brought down from our ancestors have been adapted and modernized over the years just like in several other countries. Many of us have either witnessed these traditions if we've been to a Chinese wedding, or been through them ourselves.

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Usually, the bride and the groom will pick their wedding attire with red, yellow or white color. this is because this color bring happiness, joy and long life.

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this video shows the traditions of wedding in Iban People ethnic

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MELAH PINANG (Kawin Adat IBAN) - The Wedding Of Iban- HERY+ANDREA-

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the different in iban's wedding attire is their long scalp on their belly especially for bride. for the groom, the more the animal fur, to show their richness

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Iban famous with it bamboo rice. the bride and groom are served with bamboo rice in eating ceremony

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this video shows the traditions of wedding in Orang Asli ethnic.

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DOKUMENTARI SKP2204 ADAT PERKAHWINAN DAN KEBUDAYAAN ORANG ASLI TEMUAN DI KG SG LALANG BARU SEMENYIH

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as orang asli doesnt involve that much in urbanisation, so their wedding dress kind of same

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Basically, orang asli wedding cuisine is not much different than malay wedding cuisine. all of the food mostly book from caterer

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this video shows the traditions of wedding in Kadazan Dusun ethnic.

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kadazan dusun cuisine is not far different from traditional malay wedding cuisine

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We're more familiar with Western-ish weddings these days. The bride walks down the aisle, the ceremony begins, rings exchanged, the pair's first kiss as a married couple, and finally the reception. You can pretty much learn the guest etiquettes to these from the movies.

But do the same rules apply for Chinese weddings? Yes, and no. Here are some things you need to take note of when attending one:

1. Be nice, don't wear red

But... isn't red a lucky colour? So why can't we wear red?

That's because brides will usually wear red during their wedding receptions, as it's considered an auspicious colour for their big day. It's also a very eye-catching colour. So if you want to be a nice guest and not upstage the bride, do wear dresses of other colours when you attend the dinner.

2. Don't go full-black or white too

Because black and white are traditionally associated with funerals, and worse still, bad luck. While most modern couples are fine with their male guests donning black and white suits, they'll be appreciative if you can switch the black tie with something brighter: like maroon, green, or even pink.

3. It's rude not to 'yum seng'

It's alright if you don't have alcohol in your glass - tea, water, or soft drinks are fine too. Just like the Western toast, 'yum seng' is a gesture symbolises celebration. After the fifth or sixth dish is served, the happy couple will start to make their 'yum seng' rounds. So raise your glass and toast to their happy marriage!

4. Only bring a plus one if it's indicated in the invitation

This applies to all weddings, but it's especially important when it comes to Chinese wedding dinners. This is because the dinner is arranged precisely for the number of guests the couple is prepared to host or RSVP-ed. If you really want to bring your significant other or child, do clear it with the couple to avoid any awkward situations, ie. not having enough cutleries prepared.

5. Angpows over other forms of gifts

Guests generally give angpows instead of home appliances or dining ware to the married couple. It's a tradition that the Chinese have been practising for centuries. It's up to the guest to put as much money as they want into the red packet. Generally, guests do not give less than their dinner's worth.

Here's a guide to the appropriate ang pow amount to give.

6. Make sure your clothes are 'expandable'

Because you're gonna be eating a lot all night. And we mean, a lot.

Chinese wedding dinners usually have eight to ten dishes, all made from the most luxurious ingredients to create rich flavours. So if you feel that the shirt or dress you're planning to wear is already tight when you're on an empty stomach, consider exchanging it with something more comfortable. It's for your tummy, and photo's sake.

7. Enjoy the dinner and stay till the end

Food is the best part of a Chinese wedding, so we don't see why people need to leave halfway. It's also considered rude to leave before it ends - and some might say, unlucky. However, if you really need to go, do so after the 'yum seng' session. Don't forget to let the couple know!
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written by Esther Chung

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7 Things You Need to Take Note of at Chinese Weddings

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We're more familiar with Western-ish weddings these days. The bride walks down the aisle, the ceremony begins, rings exchanged, the pair's first kiss as a married couple, and finally the reception. You can pretty much learn the guest etiquettes to these from the movies. But do the same rules apply for Chinese weddings?