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I had just found out that I didn't get into my top school. I had been telling everyone how I was certain I would get in, so I was extremely embarrassed. I couldn't bring my self to tell anyone that awful truth. I called all my friends and told them that I got in so that they would post about it and everyone would congratulate me. My plan worked, as I sat in my room crying over the rejection, while simultaneously smiling at all of the nice things people were texting me.

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This idiot had just failed an exam, broke a dish, and lost her friend's hamster. She was absolutely breaking down from the tragically pathetic day she had, and hoped to somehow submerge herself in the delusion that everything was okay. She also hoped to maybe regain a shred a dignity by posing for a selfie, and hung on for dear life to the soothing embrace of social validation as she tearfully posted it on her Snapchat story.

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I was genuinely happy to an extent. It was cold and windy outside, which was my favorite type of weather. It had been chilly all day, and for the first time, the cold didn't feel unbearable. However, I didn't feel quite as carefree as I wanted to seem. I had just begun working out for swim again, and I was exhausted. With each workout, I was becoming painfully aware of how out of shape I had become in the months before the practice started. I was stressed, too, because I wanted to just ease my way into practice like it was back at the height of our competition period. But with each passing workout, my muscles grew more and more sore, and it was clear that there was a lot of work to be done. To distract myself from the fatigue, I focused on my surroundings, and enjoyed the cool breeze on my driveway. I wanted to rewrite this memory as something of pure joy rather than pain, so I took a photo to capture an only partially truthful memory.

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Deep in the Joshua Tree Desert, we see a young boy rock climbing big boulders and cliffs. Trying to become a professional rock climber one day, he decides to train all day. After his climb he comes down to his car and sees it has been running the whole entire time. He tries turning it on and realizes that he is screwed. All out of gas, he sits there in with no water, no food, and no service. He roasts in the 105 degree weather soaked in his own nasty sweat. He tracks across the desert looking for anyone that could possibly help him. He searched all night and found himself in the absolute middle of no where. Nothing but Joshua trees and dirt was in sight. By only the end of the second day, he started to become crazy and hallucinate.

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She was wearing her white winter beanie with her bubbled hair, tied in white and pink rubber bands. Her smile stretched from ear to ear, so full of joy, or so it seems. All put together, yet not at all. The hidden anxiety that she struggles to overcome continuously hover over her. The doubts in her mind consumed her, questioning her potential and if she will get into her dream college. She wrote numerous essays that day and being on social media didn’t make it easier. Seeing others lives appear perfect while she struggles with her own life was challenging, yet no one could ever tell.

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As happy as I might seem about my new haircut and my clean stache and beard.... deep down I am not pleased with my barber. I asked for a simple fade but he got distracted with the razor and shaved a fourth of my hair off in a mer second. No one said a word for minuets but it felt like hours even days just staring in the mirror at the horrific sight. Reality set in that all my luscious locks of hair were gone. I told him to shave it all off and allow me to have a fresh start. He tried to convince me it was fixable but it was truly beyond repair. I am smiling but in reality im drowning in my sorrows.