# data[].attributes.body
The Mirror symbolises that to complete God's plan, all that is left is just 'you'. Whoever that is looking into the mirror. Because that is all that He wants

# data[].attributes.body
During a modpop lesson I was feeling really downs I went to be alone in 307. Once when I was really down I wrote a letter to God and I was crying as I wrote it. At 307 I really remembered that time and hence I went to find a piece of paper and just wrote down all my thoughts and things I wanna say to God.

For the frame I cut these up and lined it up around the corner, showing that even with my own faith I still go through troubles and seasons no matter what. As Christians, we still go through testings. It is only because of these obstacles then do we go on with a stronger faith.

# data[].attributes.body
After Math!!!!!!!!

# data[].attributes.body
KITCHEN SPONGES.

# data[].attributes.body
Close ups of the threads! The pins are arranged to have the lower half of the Sagittarius constellation in the sky, which also happens to be my horoscope.

The weaving was completely spontaneous, weaving as I go I didn't remove any threads or have any hesitation. This symbolises two things,

1) God is constantly working in my life even though I'm met with obstacles, and He isn't done with me yet. He's constantly guiding me and leading me to the places He wants me to be, and gradually as I follow Him in His ways, I am leaving trails behind and creating the big picture as he painted.

# data[].attributes.body
Securing the pins at the back with blue tack and foam so that they don't move out of place when I start the weaving. I changed out all these into sponge after that to make it even more secure!!

# data[].attributes.body
Enlightenment

Who is God? Where did my faith come from to believe in someone who can’t be seen? To state that this artwork is an article from faith would be true, as how can one prove that God exists? But then again, in Romans 1:20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made.

In this piece, I challenge my faith. Attempting to translate His existence utilising art to convey how I see God for who He is, I avoided the common motifs of Christianity so as to ask: If an artwork is based on the existence of God, how can one say that He doesn’t exist?

“When an effect is better known to us than its cause, from the effect we proceed to the knowledge of the cause.” –St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae Part 1

# data[].attributes.body
Putting in the pins!! the background is done. The black strip symbolises the line that everyone has to cross; that one step of faith to get to the other side and learn about God.

# data[].attributes.body
I think I came pretty far for someone who's... me.

I was cheerful, I was sad, I was disappointed, I was tired, I was contented, I was feeling.

It is such a weird thing, living. How people choose and try to understand what is, and whats not.

Being me wasn't easy. I think I'm the only person who's able to live like me. If you think about it, you're the only person who's able live like you too.

I was inquisitive. I liked to think, mainly because I was always alone at times. My parents divorced! If you know your religion well enough, it is a sin to be divorced. Supposedly, you're supposed to uphold your marriage for it is sacred. Even without the knowledge of that, I used to be so ashamed in telling that in my life I only live with my mom, and that I don't have a dad who cares for me. I cried countless nights sometimes, thinking about how my dad is and how he's doing sometimes and how life can be different if he spared a thought for me and my mom.

I never really shared this part of myself to anyone before. Let alone this? on a padlet?? I don't even know who will be reading this. But I can really say that its only through God that I slowly am learning to open up to those who want to listen, and to those who He put in my life. Did I mention? I was from a Christian family. I was exposed to who you'll consider a bad Christian. The people you see who tarnish the image of Christianity. It should be weird that I still chose to be a Christian despite this right? Its because its always a common point of retaliation when asked 'Do you believe in God?'

The hearts of people are hardened because of what they are exposed to and what they see. When people talk about God, they are talking about the people they see who say that they are followers of God, they aren't seeing God themselves.

I never really accounted how I became a Christian in full and I guess this will be it. My testimony.

Lets begin when I was still with my parents. On a daily basis, there will be quarrels and I will be hearing complaints from my mom about my dad. I won't really go into account of what my dad does, as I don't really think Im comfortable enough yet to share about what he did, but it was bad, at least. Bad in the terms of what society shun from.  I still recall us going to church on Sundays though. With my aunt and my uncle, and my aunts friend who will fetch us to and fro. At this point in time, I didn't really know who God was. I just attended Sunday school, knowing the stories of how a huge fish swallowed Jonah, how God can walk on water, or how Judas betrayed Him. I was young, just like any other kid who goes to church and is just there because their parents put them there. God was really nonexistent now that I think about it. I can only recall knowing stories of people that God helped and performed miracles for, and didn't really hear about Him directly.

Anyways, I was happy. The divorce didn't really hit me like it would normally did like what you see on TV. My parents didn't really consider to stay together because of me I guess, but thats just an assumption. After a while, we just stopped going to church. And staying home became a norm after we sold the house and we moved out. My and my mom relied on renting rooms from many different landlords in areasof Singapore. From Woodlands, Yishun to Sembawang, we've been there! We weren't well to do to begin with. I remember when we ran out of money to pay for our electricity bills, and we ate rice with soy sauce.

Fast forward to me in secondary school, I was mildly depressed and had social anxiety because of how I looked. I have eczema if that isn't obvious enough. I felt like I wasn't good enough. That I didn't deserve to be loved, and that my family wasn't complete like the rest of my friends and classmates. the social anxiety got so bad that I couldn't order food myself and my friends don't understand why I didn't like attention. I felt neglected at some point in my life. I was close to self harming. I was close to being anorexic. I became nauseous at the thought and sight of food. I just wanted to look beautiful and be like the girls I saw on social media. Foolish, I know. I cried for days on end.

Then, because of all these and I wasn't the type to rant anywhere, I became inquisitive. I formulated questions that people my age don't even think about, I look up theories, wanting to understand why I exist and my purpose, and why I'm here when I am so sad all the time!!

God wasn't even on my mind. Through this period, I tried going back to the churches that are near me, and the churches that my relatives go to. But it didn't work out because I was still so conscious about myself and I felt alone because I wasn't connected to anyone in those churches. For 6 years, I was lost and wondering about. I felt like I opened my mind and was so obsessed with what I know that I put it into my works and art. I still believed in God and that He existed, its just that I didn't really know where to start.

Fast forward again, to me in poly, a stranger came up to me and asked me if I was interested to join a campus event. Me and a few friends went, but left before the event even started because we felt awkward since there was a lot of people. Subsequently, after a period of a few week, I keep receiving texts from the contact I got to know through the event. Her name was Eileen. She asked me how I was and how school was. We were paranoid of her because of how kind she was lol. Then, one day she texted me an invite for a church service. I asked how she knew I was a christian, but she said she didn't know, and was just trying her luck and see if anyone was interested.

I still remember I was trying to hold back my tears for the event because I was emotional about how God was really so real, and that I felt like I'm back home again, but I just didn't want to accept it. But I failed!! On that day, I gave up my life to Christ and said that I trust in Him again. And here is where I am now. A year later.

I am still learning, I am still struggling, but because of how real God is and how He is so evident throughout my life, I decided that I want to know Him again. And more than just that, I want others to know Him too. Despite the examples of others, despite what the world throw at me, He found me again. And this time I really don't want to let go.

# data[].attributes.body
Christ isn't just miracles, and it isn't an escape, although there are people who call themselves Christians and use that as a facade to give a reason to their actions. But I really do trust that even true Christians aren't perfect. If we can really perfect ourselves and be a perfect Christian there will be countless of Jesus out there in the world now because he is sinless right? And we preach to be more Christ-like. So why are there no perfect humans out there? Its because its not possible, and we fail too. It is only because of the love that I've received that I keep continuing in this race.

# data[].attributes.body
No one said that life will be a bed of roses after you become a Christian. We still face persecutions, we still have to tolerate inequality and mockery, and still suffer too. We still feel all sorts of emotions, and go through all sorts of trials. and we still have to work hard for our own future. Christ determine where we will go yes, but we still have free will. Your persistence to bring yourself to where Christ wants you to be is what matters to me. It's like buying a treadmill and know that its in your room and yet you don't use it. Some people have the mindset that once you say you trust in Christ it means that you don't have to do anything on your part anymore. How? You won't get anywhere if you don't do something. its the same mindset.

Some people believe that you have to do good deeds to earn up a good karma for yourself to call yourself a good person with a good morale. But we don't have to do that because Christ has already saved us when he died for us on the cross. Its such a tough thing to describe how its like to live a life with Christ. There really isn't a way to let anyone know how real he is until they experience him themselves. Its like me telling you how good the ice cream is because I've tasted it. But your understanding of how good the ice cream is comes from you actually tasting it, you know what I mean?

The only reason why I want to share about Christ is also because I've heard the good news, and the joy I've received and the enlightenment of all my problems; I really wish the people around me get to experience that too. Theres no harm in opening up your heart to learn and trust I feel.

But some people live just fine without God you know. But who truly is fine?

# data[].attributes.body
"This body of work consists of three simple materials that when combined produce the portraits: a wooden panel painted a solid white, thousands of small galvanized nails, and a single, unbroken, sewing thread."

# data[].attributes.body
Shows spontaneity which is what I love sometimes. symbolises how things are just out of your control but it still turns out beautiful as it is done and represents the faith that I have, which is that I trust in God and know that even though I might be in situations that are out of my own control, but it is never out of His. I might not understand or like the process, but at the end of the day I'll still enjoy the outcome. Similar to the process of acrylic pours, the process is usually messy, and the final painting can always be predicted yes, but the paint will never flow in the way that you want it to be in. You might hate how some parts might look ugly because it didn't turn out the way you wanted, but who would notice when they see the final big picture?

# data[].attributes.body
Gustav Klimt

# data[].attributes.body
Gold leaf

# data[].attributes.body
Peter Paul Rubens

# data[].attributes.headline
Garland with the Virgin, Child and Two Angels (1610s)

# data[].attributes.subject
Garland with the Virgin, Child and Two Angels (1610s)

# data[].attributes.body
Jan Brueghel the Elder

# data[].attributes.body
Hillsong United - So Will I (100 Billion X)

Lyrics
God of creation
There at the start
Before the beginning of time
With no point of reference
You spoke to the dark
And fleshed out the wonder of light

And as You speak
A hundred billion galaxies are born
In the vapor of Your breath the planets form
If the stars were made to worship so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve made
Every burning star
A signal fire of grace
If creation sings Your praises so will I

God of Your promise
You don’t speak in vain
No syllable empty or void
For once You have spoken
All nature and science
Follow the sound of Your voice

And as You speak
A hundred billion creatures catch Your breath
Evolving in pursuit of what You said
If it all reveals Your nature so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You say
Every painted sky
A canvas of Your grace
If creation still obeys You so will I
So will I
So will I

If the stars were made to worship so will I
If the mountains bow in reverence so will I
If the oceans roar Your greatness so will I
For if everything exists to lift You high so will I
If the wind goes where You send it so will I
If the rocks cry out in silence so will I
If the sum of all our praises still falls shy
Then we’ll sing again a hundred billion times

God of salvation
You chased down my heart
Through all of my failure and pride
On a hill You created
The light of the world
Abandoned in darkness to die

And as You speak
A hundred billion failures disappear
Where You lost Your life so I could find it here
If You left the grave behind You so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve done
Every part designed in a work of art called love
If You gladly chose surrender so will I
I can see Your heart
Eight billion different ways
Every precious one
A child You died to save
If You gave Your life to love them so will I

Like You would again a hundred billion times
But what measure could amount to Your desire
You’re the One who never leaves the one behind

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
So Will I (100 Billion X) - Hillsong Worship

# data[].attributes.body
Gustav Klimt

There is added usage of silver and gold foil leaf in the painting which kinds of makes it iconic to me in a sense that its very decorated and reminds me of something really sacred. it also reminds me of Paleochristian art & Byzantine Art. Whereby there will be motifs and imagery of Christ.

# data[].attributes.headline
References of Materials for my Box Of Self

# data[].attributes.subject
References of Materials for my Box Of Self

# data[].attributes.body
I thought about what I'm gonna use to piece and represent my thoughts into my artwork together and after researching for ideas and stuff, here are some of my art references

# data[].attributes.body
My inspiration kinda came about from the ideas of questioning and wanting to find out more about the reasons of my own beliefs and why I do what I do so fervently albeit the struggles I face.

The inspiration also comes from questions that I come across;
If God is so good, why does He still allow suffering?
Why would you believe in something that you can't see?
Is God real?
If God is real, why is there still evil?
Why did God love us even when we choose to deny him?
Why did God send his son down to die for us?
Why did Jesus need to die for us?
If God knew that Judas was to betray Jesus, why is Judas still created?
If God knew Satan would rebel, why did he still allow him to exist?

It also came from the idea of wanting to intercede my Christian faith into my work, as well as trying to see Christianity from the viewpoint of wanting to create art based on the teachings and philosophies derived from the belief from many different people. And wanting to steer away from my usual interest in metaphysics for once!!

# data[].attributes.body
Possible Art Styles
-Renaissance -> Rebirth
-Neoclassism

Significant Events
- Age of Enlightenment
- The Crusades

Christian Philosophers
- Thomas Aquinas
- Saint Augustine
- Albertus Magnus
- Martin Luther

Philosophers
- John Locke
- Artistotle

Biblical Influences
- What the bible has to say about Art
- Natural Law & Natural Rights

Theories & Ideas
- John Locke's Conscious Thinking
- 'An Empty Mind/A tabula rasa shaped by experience (sensations and reflections)
- The 3 things that tempts us (The world, The Flesh, The 🤬)
Latin: Mundus, Caro, Et diabolus
- freedom of conscience
1 Corinthians 10:29 I am referring to the other person's conscience, not yours. For why is my freedom being judged by another's conscience?

# data[].attributes.body
Constellations/Galaxy of stars: Rusty/Old Thin and long Nails and threads, glitter
- Representation of interconnectedness and time weaving into each other to form something beautiful and something which I really love, the galaxy, the stars and the moons!!!
- 'I can do a thing a hundred billion times and it will have a different outcome.'

Exodus 35:35 35 He has filled them with skill to do all kinds of work as engravers, designers, embroiderers in blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen, and weavers—all of them skilled workers and designers.

Mirror Mosaic: Small, broken up mirrors & Glue
- Representation of John Locke's theory on the empty mind; that life consists of experiences made up from reflection & sensations. In this case a literal representation in hopes that people see their own reflection as part of the art work.

Genesis 1:27 27 So God created mankind in his own image,  in the image of God he created them;  male and female he created them.

Old Maps/Numbers
- Adobe Garamond Pro
- Astrological symbols
- Holographic??

# data[].attributes.body
Reflection!!!!

Kinda hesitant and feel a little insecure in switching up the things in my box!! The previous items in my old box was all pure physical items and concepts that I seek contentment from. Not saying that what I liked and enjoyed is/are wrong, but slowly I did realise my worth and identity in Christ. I feel that there is so much more than just to say; "I am a Christian and I believe in God."

I feel that its possible to create art from spiritual influences and thats exactly what I am doing!! Its a little tough and overwhelming at the moment as I'm unsure of how I'm going to portray all these motifs. I'm challenging myself to not use existing symbols and motifs that are significant when it comes to the association with Christianity. These symbols being: The Bible, A crucifix, the imagery of Jesus and more. I hope to highlight or maybe break that stereotype I guess. And to challenge the idea of the existence of God. Is He only here if I say that I believe, or is He here since I referenced Him in my work?

In lament terms, is the chicken rice good because I told you that I've tried it, or is it good only because you've tried it yourself?

I still haven't thought of the best way to represent the idea in my head but I'm kinda getting there, hope to create something that looks really good though!!